Oink Oink.. Beating on Me.. what if I stop beating.. and I can't feel my Heart beating inside of Me.. I guess in times like that.. I can be glad that I am behind the screen.. because If I were to face YOU.. and has to talk to YOU directly.. would I say the things that I can say and share like the way I am able to write to YOU these Letters.. what I have the Words to speak and tell YOU all these things that I can when I am able to sit by the desk.. and I would pull the drawer and the Key Board is there.. I would turn on the screen and I would Look at the Blank white Screen.. and the first thing is that I would Look at your Picture.. I would say.. YOU are so Beautiful.. and I would ask the Question.. WHY are you so Beautiful to Me.. when I look at you through your Picture.. I can feel this Sharp Pain.. it hurts me more than YOU can say One word to me because this Sharp pain never goes away unless I needs to say It.. to tell YOU from my Heart.. How much that It is Hurting me because I been loving YOU.. just loving YOU does hurt me because it is what you do to MY Heart when I look at you and Your Picture.. YOU are wondering.. you can be thinking that is it going to end very soon.. WILL I ever stop writing.. Will I ever end telling YOU these words and maybe YOU can think that way because It can feel like.. what if IT does end.. and I will ask YOU.. will you be missing Me.. is it then when I will know your true Heart.. if YOU ever did Love Me.. but to speak truth in love is this.. It is so Hard for me to end because it is YOU who I love.. when a MAN like myself has Nothing to Lose.. I really have Nothing to Give YOU to be honest with YOU.. I am Not wealthy.. I am Not even smart.. I don't have Any Master degrees.. and I don't even have a Great Job.. what I will look like to YOU is a MAN who has failed many times In my Life.. seems Like I am going Nowhere.. I guess that is where it all begins because I do truly Have Nothing to Lose.. that I am Not afraid to tell YOU that I do Love YOU.. it does Not matter what YOU think of Me.. I can be the Most smallest Person on this earth.. I may be very small but when It comes down to Love YOU.. I know that I can run through Snowy roads to get to YOU.. even if it takes Miles and miles apart from here to where YOU are at.. I know that NO matter what.. If I have the Heart to go to you now.. I know that I can.. I can even climb up on Mountains.. if falling down and rolling down.. hitting the floor and falling down.. just remember that I can get back UP.. and I will try one more time because I believe in Loving YOU.. give me two wings.. and I will put the wings so that I can fly to YOU.. just to tell YOU that it is me whose been loving YOU.. I don't care because I love YOU more.. that is why I want to prove it to YOU HOW much I really do.. I can run.. I can walk.. I can fall back and bounce back.. but as long as I know that I love YOU.. I will do what my Heart says in me.. to keep on trying until YOU can get it to Your Head.. I believe that In due time.. One day I do believe that YOU will love me too.. I am Not asking you to love me Now because I know that YOU just can't.. do you know why.. because I am Not ready yet to be with YOU.. the day that comes for me to be with YOU and when I am ready.. I know that YOU be ready to receive the Love I want to give to YOU.. I am only letting YOU know that I been here.. Looking at your Picture.. but when I do look at your Picture.. my Heart burns in me.. and my eyes get watery these days.. it did Not happen before.. but Now.. I am Not sure what is happening to My Heart.. but I know that I am beginning to Love YOU more.. I focus on telling YOU.. How to tell YOU that I really do Love YOU.. which way.. is it to the North.. is it to the East.. how about to the West.. looking down to the South.. any direction as long as I can find YOU so that I can tell YOU that It is Me who is loving YOU.. as I would look at your Picture.. I would be wiping the tears from my eyes.. as my Chest hurts.. and YOU are wondering.. if My Heart Burns and It is hurting me with this Sharp Pain.. why don't I go see the doctor.. why don't I tell the doctor that I have a Heart problem.. if the Doctor asks me why am I in for the Office check.. I will tell the Doctor.. and I will show the doctor the Picture of YOU.. and I will point to YOU to that doctor and say.. when ever I look at this Picture of YOU.. I can feel my Heart burning and I do receive this sharp Pain of sensation that just don't go away.. and My eyes becomes watery and I just want to pour Out my emotions as I want to cry loud as I be looking at YOU.. looking at your Picture.. It hurts me that this is the Only thing I can do.. that It hurts me more.. it hurts so sharp.. I wish that this pain can go away but it becomes more stronger and stronger each time I would LOOK at your Picture.. I know that I want to stop.. but I just can't.. I wonder what the doctor would say.. unless he gets rid of my Heart.. but I want My Heart because I love YOU.. I need my Heart because I know that this Heart can only tell YOU how much YOU mean to me.. I want to go to YOU.. if I have to swim in the Oceans.. in the cold water and telling me this is the direction I needs to take.. I will go and will go to find YOU just to tell YOU that It is Me who is loving YOU.. when It comes to loving YOU.. I have this drive.. it is driven in my Heart.. this will in my Heart that I want to love YOU more.. what am I suppose to do or say to the Heart.. I am determined to Love YOU more.. YOU can tell me and Push me.. telling me to GO away.. kick me.. push me so that I fall on the floor.. but I will tell YOU.. I just can't.. I needs to love YOU.. and More I needs to love because it makes me alive when I do love YOU.. I am Not sure if you ever have this kind of experience before but lately.. I am feeling it More and more.. the Picture in my hand.. I would hold unto.. and I will say.. I am going to love YOU.. I am going to show YOU one day which is HOW MUCH I really do.. YOU can test me the day YOU meet me and I will do anything just to be close to YOU so that I can finally say to YOU.. I love YOU.. when My Heart be burning inside.. and I feel this sharp pain inside.. it is after I would take a LOOK at your Picture.. looking and saying to myself.. YOU are so Beautiful.. why are you so Beautiful.. that I know I am going to Hurt myself because I know YOU are just good to be true.. I would sit on the top of the bed.. just thinking of YOU.. I would say.. holding unto your Picture.. sitting on the top of the bed.. I look at your Picture.. looking at YOU.. I just can't keep you away.. am I nuts.. am I going crazy.. do YOU call me insane.. that there is something wrong with me.. and I would get Out of the Bed and Sit on the chair.. and drawer pulls out.. I would LOOK at the Key Board.. I do remember when I first started to type.. many years ago.. I would be looking at the Keyboard constantly.. fingers trying to push down on Letters.. when YOU practice typing for such a Long time.. and when Years went by.. I am able to look at the screen.. my eyes don't need to look at the key board any more because my Fingers knows now where to push the Letters as I be thinking of YOU and telling you How much I love YOU.. that shows how much I had to practice over the Years.. where I can only LOOK at the screen.. I would LOOK at your Picture.. I can feel my Heart calling Out to YOU.. calling Out your Name as I would keep on typing.. telling YOU through this How much I needs to be with YOU.. How much I needs to be the One to Love YOU.. Only YOU are the One who can give that answer an account.. YOU are the Only one who can let that happen.. and I be hoping.. I wish that these Letters get to YOU.. that YOU know my Heart.. my Mind.. my Soul.. How much I love YOU.. I remember when I first saw Your Picture.. and I would be looking at YOU.. and I would say.. How can I tell YOU that I love YOU.. I want my Mind to go across.. I wanted to tell YOU something.. and I would say How.. that is when I saw the drawer.. and I saw the Key board inside the drawer.. and the Idea came into my Mind.. and Into my Heart.. that I needs to tell YOU that I love YOU.. as My fingers would touch the Keyboard.. and I would start to type by pushing into the Letters.. I saw something that felt like Impossible turn into some thing special to Me.. that It was possible to get it Out to YOU.. that I am able to share my Heart.. to tell YOU that I love YOU.. and ever since the day I saw Your Picture is when it began.. that I needs to say It.. I needs to tell it to YOU.. needs to tell you that I love YOU.. and I will never give UP on YOU because I know.. maybe One day.. Maybe some day soon.. I know that YOU can too love me back too.. and still I am believing in that Dream I have in my Heart.. YOU are the One for Me.. and I know that YOU are the Only One who I know I can love.. I never gave UP on that Dream till this day.. when I first saw that Dream.. can a Man like me ever Love.. Can I turn a Like into some thing Bigger.. Can it change to be Love.. at first it started as just liking it.. but Now I know in my Heart.. I am in love with YOU.. when It becomes Love.. NO matter How much it hurts.. the Sharp Pains that keeps on coming.. the Burning of the Heart.. missing YOU like crazy.. and just Loving YOU just because it is YOU.. I know that I now love YOU more.. and growing more stronger each day because I never stopped loving YOU.. YOU are the One for me.. always been the One for me even till this day Now.. just wanted to say.. I still love YOU.. ever since I saw your Picture.. I just knew that I am going to start loving YOU.. when YOU believe in Love and loving YOU.. I believe anything can happen as long as I know.. YOU are the One for Me.. and I am just hoping that YOU believe in the same way too.. YOU are everything to Me.. that I know that YOU mean everything to me and you
MAH MAH.. I walk into the tent in the training Ground.. all the Men are inside the Tents.. and I would lay down.. before I would close my eyes to sleep.. I have a recent Picture of YOU.. a friend of Mine has gave me the Art Sketch paper.. and some one drew this Picture and the friend of Mine who kept it and gave it to Me.. it was before I came into the Training Camp with the Official Seal Paper.. the Letter which the Older man.. the Teacher gave to Me so that I can pass it to YOU.. MAH MAH.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. and I would say again.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. do YOU know that I been looking at this Picture.. this Art sketch Paper that some one drew of YOU.. I remember when the Friend of Mine came to me.. knowing that I been Loving YOU for a Long Time.. He saw me with the Art Sketch paper.. it was when YOU were much Younger.. the Boy who went over to draw picture of YOU and who was caught after giving it to Me.. MAH MAH.. the One that I gave to YOU.. because I told you that I did not need it any More.. because I was next to YOU now.. and when YOU took it.. I saw you holding.. I asked you to Burn it.. but I see that YOU would Not.. and to be honest with YOU MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I had a recent One.. the Art Sketch paper which some one drew of YOU.. I know that YOU have ways to capture the Hearts of Many Men.. it does Not matter who Loves YOU but I know for sure that I can Love you More.. that is why I am telling YOU even though YOU may Not hear me on this very Night.. as I am holding this Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just saw you before I went into the Tent.. but I feel like I still has to keep On seeing YOU.. I don't know what it is about YOU.. maybe because YOU are the Crown Princess of the Nation to be the Next Ruler for this Country.. for this Nation.. because YOU are the greatest.. the Biggest.. the best.. a true Ruler and that is why knowing this Truth.. the Strength and the Power and the control.. the Dominance you have in YOU.. the More I look at YOU.. the More my Heart be moving.. and I just can't let YOU Go MAH MAH.. WHY can't I let you go MAH MAH.. Please tell me WHY.. and I am laying down.. as I would LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU and I would fold into Half and lay it behind Me.. just thinking about YOU.. thinking about the People.. but when I saw YOU holding the Sword.. pointing to the direction which I did Not want to see.. I would be begging YOU.. to Stay with the People.. with the Little Children.. when I saw HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. pulling out the Sword.. the King's Sword towards the Other side where the Enemies are going to Come.. I just could Not help it to drop on both Knees.. because I did Not want to see you fight.. I don't want to see you going into the Battle field.. but I know how YOU are MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. once you put your Mind on something that YOU be aiming for.. I know you will go for It.. in One way this is the reason WHY I felt in Love with YOU.. YOU are so Bold.. and so Fierce when it comes to protection and fighting for something.. when it comes for the Nation of your People YOU love.. that YOU will do anything to Protect this Country.. this Nation because of the People.. when I saw YOU on that Horse.. in the Garden bringing the People from the Royal Palace.. to rebuild the Garden.. My Heart.. I just knew it from the start that you were.. Crown Princess be different.. when I saw you doing something.. when MAH MAH cared for the Unimportant.. the Little People.. a person like myself.. I knew that YOU are going to do something very Big.. because even the Poor and the Little People are also your People too.. the most smallest of all.. I came from that Garden.. I am the Most lowest person in that Garden and I saw you in that Garden.. all of the Knees went down when the People saw YOU in that Garden.. tears would roll from the eyes.. just could not believe.. the Crown Princess.. MAH MAH.. it was the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. from all of the People out there in the royal family.. it was the CROWN PRINCESS who came with the Horse.. who has this Big Heart of even rebuilding what was under Looked.. NO ONE cares about the Poor people.. NO ONE loves the Ones who are hungry and dying in such poverty.. growing UP in the Garden.. there was NO Homes.. when it rained.. I would sit in a Hay House.. but I be wet from the rain.. I would look across at the neighbor Hay Home.. just like my home.. we are staring at each other watching the rain fall from the sky and both of us are getting wet.. it is very hard when it becomes Cold in the Winter.. many of the Children living in the Low poverty will die because it is just too cold for any one to survive in that condition.. many times and Many nights.. many winter nights.. I do wonder How did I even manage to come this very far.. I saw many families in the Hay Homes.. the Parents of the children are in their arms and left to die as they are crying for help.. my Heart breaks each time I think of being so Low.. being so Poor and having not much.. but How is it that I manage to get Out of that Garden.. and I saw many Mothers burying their Sons and daughters in the Garden.. Hay Homes would fall and crumble as strong winds comes to blow hard.. I would watch strong rains breaking the roof tops of the Hays down and it falls down on people.. I would watch Many People living without homes.. begging for Food and crying in the Night asking for Help.. rescue Me is what I would hear.. and WHO ever thought it be YOU.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. out of the Blue you came along on that Horse.. what really got to My Heart is that Hays and straws were no longer use.. when YOU Came MAH MAH.. it became bricks and How you rebuild giving it a NAME and it became a Town.. now I hear that it has changed to a City like.. market place where people are Now Living.. and watching many People who came from the Garden.. to pay respect for YOU.. many children grew UP well after YOU came to rebuild that Garden into a Town to City.. a market Place where More People are going there to Work.. MAH MAH.. if YOU did Not show UP.. I am Not sure if I would of made it here today and that is why I wanted to tell YOU that I am so thankful that I get to Love YOU now.. and every day I can Love you more because YOU have given me a Place.. where I can be so close to YOU.. just wanted to say to WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. thank YOU for rebuilding that Garden.. Now that Place is flourishing and more people are going to come here after they make it Out of that Garden.. as I would close Both eyes and I am dreaming.. I am Not sure but I look at the door in front of Me.. behind me is the Seven Friends of Mine.. as the DOOR opens.. I walk in with the Seven Friends.. the MAIN HALL ROOM.. and it is the Meeting Board.. on the Right side.. the Six Princes are standing from the First to Sixth SON and the Prime Minister with the 12 Council of Noble Men.. on the Left side is the Older MAN.. the teacher.. the TOP COMMANDER.. the Commanders.. to Chief Generals.. to TOP General.. 2nd Rank General to 3rd rank General and to the generals.. as I walk and I stop.. a stairs above me.. and the King's Chair.. the Messenger calls Out to YOU.. and I would stop.. it just can't be.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and the Scroll rolls Down.. and I see YOU walking UP the stairs.. and I see you turn around.. MAH MAH.. the Messenger walks UP to YOU.. the Crowns are changing.. I am wondering what does this Mean.. and the Messenger reads the scroll pronouncing that YOU be the QUEEN.. My Heart.. are you trying to KILL my Heart.. I know that It is going to Happen.. but is it going to happen NOW.. are you the True QUEEN.. to be pronounce.. and the Messenger walks UP.. holding the KING's Crown and Puts on TOP over your Head.. HAIL to the QUEEN of NATION.. and I fall on two knees.. and I am crying.. I know it suppose to be the Best day to celebrate.. but How about Me.. I am now suppose to call you HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. that is the QUEEN.. and I hear the Voices in the MAIN HALL room.. in the Board of Meeting calling Out.. HAIL to the QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and voices grows louder and louder as they Shout to YOU.. knees all hits to two.. and shouts Louder HAIL to the QUEEN.. MANSAE.. HOORAY to the QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. HAIL to the QUEEN.. and I am crying louder and Louder.. How can I love the QUEEN.. Please help me.. How can I love you when YOU are seated as the QUEEN of the Nation.. as HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and I am looking at the ground.. I see you sitting on the King's chair and YOU stand UP.. pulling Out the king's sword.. hands all lifted UP.. and voices raises UP higher and people are all crying.. HAIL to the QUEEN.. HAIL to the QUEEN.. HAIL to the QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH MANSAE.. MANSAE to HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and I would open two eyes from the sleep.. I know that this means some thing very big is going to happen.. it must be a sign that YOU are going to rule for this Nation.. and I would stand UP and get Out of the tent.. and I am standing alone still dark.. with my hand is the sword and I pull it Out.. LOOKING at the Blade.. the War is coming.. first we needs to win and beat in this WAR but I know and I would JUMP UP in the air left right left right swing the Sword.. I know Not much time but for the CROWN PRINCESS.. for WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I must fight to Protect so that YOU can sit on that THRONE. the King's Chair to become my QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH. as I would LOOK UP at the MOON.. my both feet lands on
MAH MAH.. People are going to choose YOU to take your Father's Place.. who will be the One to rule and direct for this NATION.. but if I can't love you any more.. I know that I must Go and YOU can select the MEN.. I will let them stay with YOU and I will go alone.. it is just too hard for me because I have been loving YOU since when I was a young Boy.. ever since I saw YOU for the first Time.. my Heart would beat more than it skipped the Beat.. but I know.. the people also who came from the Garden.. they are seeking for YOU to rule over them too.. that is why they are going to fight and unite so that they want to PLACE YOU over them.. if I can't love YOU any more.. there is NO reason longer for me to stay any more.. I can't live without loving YOU more.. that is the Part where it hurts me the Most.. I just can't keep it to myself and be silent.. if the council of Noble men sees me keep on doing this.. they are going to find ways to put my chains and will try to persecute ME.. they are going to try to kill me for this.. that is why I know that I must go after the War.. will you let me Leave Your sight after the War.. either way I am a dead Man now.. the Prime Ministry with the 12 council of Noble men tried to find ways to execute me because I am hearing words.. so Please.. if I can't love YOU any more.. please let me GO and I can go as far.. I am thinking about returning back to the Garden where I came from.. and I would see you pointing the sword and YOU remove the sword away from me.. picking UP the arrow.. putting on the end of the Strings of the Bow.. pulling it back YOU would aim and release.. the ARROW hits right in the Middle of the target.. I am thinking.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH is so good even at Night.. YOU just never miss the shot hitting this target.. in this dark Night.. it is so hard for me to see the target.. and I am hearing the Soldier by the target.. the flag is moving around.. But.. YOU know that I still Love YOU.. I will always love you no matter where I go.. it is just that It is getting so much harder for me Now to Love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. it is because I really Love YOU.. even from the Far.. when I was in a long distance I loved you then when I did Not see YOU.. Now I see you close that I love you more.. either way far or Near.. my Heart will never change of loving YOU more.. because I really Love YOU NO matter where YOU are CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH..I am watching the Little Children.. boys are walking into the training Ground.. I just can't believe that they are from the Garden.. the Parents of these children.. some of them are my friends growing Up and I am watching YOU standing by the Fence.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I never thought you be having this Big Heart.. Now look at the Hopes and Dreams YOU are planting.. the Parents who came with their Children.. thinking about their future.. and I am on the Two Knees.. tears just fills UP.. and I can feel my tears streaming down.. and One of the guy who came with his Son stops and Looks at me.. and He smiles.. and Just cannot believe that I am the trainer for the new Recruits.. and He cries Looking at me because.. I know that His SON can also dream for this Nation.. the Crown Princess.. who loves the People.. who are the One with the Big Heart for the People.. who is the One who helped the Poor People in that Garden.. Now.. the People has come because this Nation is growing stronger and stronger because of YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. it is because YOU are here that all these things can happen.. I do remember.. the First time My Heart felt something.. I was in this Position.. I saw a friend laying on the ground.. He was very Poor and Lowly servant just like Me.. we had NO Place to Go.. No place to sleep.. hungry without Homes and just picking food from the Floors.. it was at the Garden.. He got sick eating watching Him hit the floor.. I was crying for that Friend.. he would throw UP in blood and he looks at me.. telling me that Being so poor.. it is NO JOKE.. and he tells me.. I am dying.. I was crying and crying as He lay on the Floor.. My Heart broke into pieces.. and He looks at me and says.. when He dies to plant him by my Mother's grave.. and my Mother was like an Auntie to him.. as I saw him laying sick.. I heard a Loud Voice.. and I turn to look.. the day YOU came to the Garden.. I turn too look.. I fell on my face looking at the ground.. I saw YOU sitting on the Horse.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. MAH MAH.. and I would cry Out Loud More.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please hear my voice.. and I saw YOU.. the YOUNG Girl you were.. YOU had a Sword.. small sword and Pointed to my direction to Speak.. and I would be crying.. could Not talk much but it was about my dying friend.. He was laying down.. and throw UP blood in front of me.. and asking me to bury him when he died.. But Help me MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU are the Only ONE with the Power to save the Life of a BOY who has NO ONE else to turn TOO.. PLEASE.. MAH MAH.. HELP US and I would be crying Loud.. he is my best friend.. My father raised him like a SON to Me like a Brother.. SAVE HIM MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH... Please help my Dying friend.. and tears would be falling down.. and I can see.. Maybe I needs to die with him too.. if YOU can't help him.. I would lift UP my Head looking UP at you.. with tears in my eyes.. my Friend needs YOUR HELP.. the Crown Princess.. which is YOU raise UP your Little Sword and YOU would call for the Royal Physicians who came.. I was very shocked that they came here to the Garden.. I never thought YOU would do this for the Little People.. the Poor People.. for the Lowly lives who NO ONE cares about.. NO ONE cares for the Broken.. the Little People who has NO NAMES.. How do people know my Name.. they just don't and I was touched.. But YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS cared.. my best friend was dying before my eyes.. and I cannot do anything to help.. I am watching him throw UP blood and He is asking me to bury HIM next to my Mother who is already GONE.. and I would close both eyes crying Loud.. my Heart hurts because He is telling me that HE is dying.. this pain.. and I would watch the Royal Physicians walking into the Garden.. and two of them goes over to my Best Friend.. I watch HIM being carried by the two doctors.. and I would walk the wood cutters and stone builders and they have come with Nurses and even the Maids and kitchen Ladies all comes to this Garden.. feeding the Poor.. feeding the Lost.. feeding thousands of children with no homes and I would watch the remodel of the Garden as the Homes are being placed in the Garden.. and as I come to my senses.. and I am both on the Knees Looking at the ground.. the man who knows Me brings His Son.. he was the Best Friend who was on the Floor.. on the ground talking about if He dies to bury HIM close to my Mother.. Now I am seeing his SON and I look at the SON.. and I lift UP my Head and I see you standing by the Fence and I would say.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. can YOU please give me your ears and I see YOU standing with the White Dress and the Big Crown on the top of your Head.. and YOU would point the Sword direct at me.. and I would watch YOU walk closer to ME and stops next to me.. I would lift UP my Head looking at YOU.. DO you remember the Garden.. DO you remember this Man.. and I see you turn your Head looking at him.. and it seems like YOU don't know who he is and I would say.. he is the One who I was talking about.. the Day YOU came to the garden.. and I was crying.. I was asking YOU to save a Life of a Boy.. and YOU were sitting on the Horse and I was begging for Your Help.. pleading for a cause.. to help a dying Boy.. and It was when YOU brought the Royal Physicians.. two of them went over and picked HIM up.. do you remember that Day.. and I see you turn your Head looking at HIM and I see that YOU DO remember.. you would smile LOOKING at him.. Yes.. if the Royal Physicians did NOT show UP that Day.. I know that He would Not been alive this very day.. HE has remembered YOU ever since and TOLD ME.. One day HE is going to come to join the Nation where YOU stand.. NOW he is here with his SON.. and NOW we are reunited because of what YOU have done that day.. I was pleading.. begging and asking you to help me.. to Help Him and Now.. LOOK what has happened because of WHAT YOU have done that Day.. as I would hold his son around my Arms.. I want to teach this YOUNG boy how to fight for this Nation.. to raise UP the next YOUNG generations of these Boys to HELP forth.. to Push this Nation which YOU will rule.. for you to conqueror so that this NATION Of people would be so Strong for YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is because of Your Big Heart for the people you love.. the People are the reason to help this Nation to become stronger so that YOU can RULE as the True CONQUEROR.. and I would see YOU pointing your Sword at me and telling me to get UP.. so I would listen and I would get UP on two feet.. as I get UP.. I am hearing sounds of foot steps.. and I turn towards the Fence.. and a Messenger comes on the Horse.. and He has a scroll in his hand and He gets Out of the Horse and Runs towards YOU.. stops.. two knees on the floor.. head looks down arm forward with the Scroll in the Hand.. I see YOU turn looking at the Messenger.. and YOU take the Scroll.. and YOU would unfold and YOU would read the Scroll.. and I see something is wrong.. what is Wrong HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WHAT IS wrong and I see you hand me the Scroll and I
MAH MAH.. YOU KNOW how much I love YOU.. and it was YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. who opened the Fences for the Children.. these little children has come Long ways from the Garden and they have come under your Care.. and Only YOU can protect these children because they have all come to YOU.. for the War.. I know that we have mighty Men and soldiers.. the warriors who will go Out there to fight for this Nation.. to protect and to defend because this is the reason WHY I was born to do this.. to Protect YOU.. to serve and to defend YOU.. for the Nation.. I am asking YOU to be there for the Children who has come a long ways.. they have come to YOU.. they have thought about you when they came here and they just arrived.. and I would Be holding unto your Wrist.. so Please only for this time.. can YOU please listen to my Plea.. to my Heart because I just can't fight out there when YOU are fighting with me.. I just can't focus.. and knowing How strong and fierce YOU are.. I see you turn your Head and looking down at me.. but I can tell that YOU will not listen.. and I would say.. CROWN PRINCESS.. leave the Battle for Us.. for the Men that YOU have raised UP.. YOU have plenty of men who can fight.. How about Me.. How about my Heart.. I just can't see you out there.. I have tried when YOU were out there last time.. but I just could Not.. I wanted the sword to drive Into my Heart when I saw YOU.. I wanted YOUR SWORD to pierce into my Heart when I saw the enemies getting just too close to YOU.. I wanted.. rather I die.. rather come after Me and Kill me instead because I rather Die instead of YOU enter that Battle Ground of war.. I can't take it any more.. so Please.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. just this Once.. and how about these children.. they too needs your hands and Your care.. they wanted to meet YOU.. they want to be close to YOU.. look at the Children and I would watch you turn your Head looking at these Little boys and girls.. more than hundred children came with their parents.. and I would watch the New Recruits raising UP their wooden Sticks wanting to join in the Fight.. and I am Looking UP at YOU.. and I would watch YOU turn your Head looking at the Little children.. and LOOKING at the new recruits and YOU turn to LOOK down at Me.. CROWN PRINCESS.. Please say something.. Please answer me for Once.. even those families with the little children all needs YOU by your side.. they need Your hands to rest.. and I see YOU looking at them.. and I would turn to LOOK over.. I am hearing More foot steps.. and I see Six Horses.. and they are the Royal Princes.. the six Older Brothers has come.. on the Horses and I would see behind the seventh.. and ALL seven men would get out of the Horses.. and as I would watch the six Princes.. they would fall on two knees.. and they have brought their swords and I just can't believe.. the seventh person is the Older man.. the Teacher.. the master who taught me with his armor who came to serve in the military Arts.. I just can't believe.. and More Military Generals are behind the Horses of the Princes.. and ALL on the two knees Heads looking down.. arms out forward saluting to Your Authority as the One true Ruler.. and I am holding Your Wrist.. this is why I am asking YOU to please stay Behind.. YOU have men.. powerful strong Men who is going to Fight for this Nation.. the Little Children needs YOU too with their families.. because of what YOU have done in the past at the Garden.. YOU are able to see them grow UP becoming parents NOW and with children.. they have all come to support this Nation.. so Please help for the Next UP coming.. we.. CROWN PRINCESS needs you to be here with the families and the Little Children.. YOU are the Only ONE that needs to stay to preserve the next and to RULE for them too.. and I would watch ALL the voices shouting Out.. CROWN PRINCESS.. Please stay and protect the Families and the Little Children and I would watch YOU.. your sword is pointing to the War Ground and I just can't believe it that YOU want to fight in the war.. WHY HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. WHY.. and my Heart breaks because YOU would not listen to the voices of Your Men.. YOUR PEOPLE.. we shout Out loud More.. Please stay with children.. I would watch One boy picking UP a stick and he shouts Fight.. I am thinking of You.. as I am holding the stick in my hand.. I would say.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. My One wish.. I just want to Love YOU but also with this Sword.. I want to protect YOU and I would swing the Stick.. and My friend who is also holding the stick blocks with the stick I swing at him.. and He would look at me and swing the Stick in his hand and It hits me on the Arm.. I would swing the stick I am holding with my hand and it hits his head and my friend falls on the Ground.. and He looks UP on the ground.. I stood there.. just thinking of YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. my hand grabs his hand and I pull HIM up on his two legs.. as the Moon is High Above.. the Six Friends are making a circle on two of us.. and they are all holding the Sticks.. and as I am thinking of YOU.. I would look at the Seven Friends.. I have to go back to the Palace.. I have to go see the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and as I am on the two Knees.. My Head looking on the Ground.. the Seven Friends are Behind Me.. both on the Knees.. Looking on the Ground.. arms UP saluting to YOU as the Crown Princess.. as I hear more foot steps walking.. I see you with the Big Crown on top of Your Head.. I see you turn around looking back.. there are seven Chief Generals.. with their Foot soldiers all walking to YOU.. and Five Commanders behind with the Foot Soldiers.. they all stop.. both on knees.. Heads all looks on the ground.. arms UP and I see YOU.. a great large of army military men has gathered around you.. As I am holding the sword.. I would Lift up my Arm up with my hand holding the Sword.. and I would shout Out.. MANSAE TO CROWN PRINCESS.. the Seven Men.. my friends all would pull out the swords.. hands holding the swords.. arms lifted UP and they shout out with a Loud Voice.. MANSAE to Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would shout Out louder More.. MANSAE TO WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. to Crown Princess.. and I would hear.. the Chief Generals and the Commanders.. they pull out their swords holding in their hands.. arms lifted UP high.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. the Seven Friends with the Foot SOLDIERS all lifted UP their Swords holding their hands.. MANSAE.. HOORAY to Crown Princess.. and I would raise UP my Voice Louder and Cried OUT.. MANSAE to WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. to Crown Princess.. and I hear all of the Voices.. MANSAE.. HOORAY to HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see you stand in the Middle.. our heads looking at the ground.. and I would say.. YOU are so Great.. Look at you because the men has gathered.. I know there is something that is about to happen.. but my Heart.. to Protect YOU.. and Too keep on protecting you to the end.. and I see YOU looking down.. as I would lift UP my Head looking into your eyes.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I hear something behind.. a Messenger riding on the Horse.. and He has a scroll in his hand.. and the Heads would all turn to look.. the Horse stops.. the Messenger gets out of the Horse.. two on knees.. arm UP and Head looks down.. hand holding the Scroll.. and I am wondering.. what does this Mean.. a Private Messenger only for the Crown Princess.. and I see you raise YOUR HAND.. and the Messenger gets UP.. and He would unroll the scroll.. and starts to share.. a War is going to break Out.. and the enemies are coming to the Fortress.. and they are bringing many foot soldiers.. horse riders.. and the Six Princes are in the Eldest house and they are drinking having the Party.. and the Messenger goes down both knees.. Head goes down and arm up.. and I am wondering.. a War.. and I turn to LOOK at YOU.. and YOU look at me.. there has been a talk about a war for a Long time.. and it is happening.. I look at YOU.. Why did YOU not tell me about this war.. then I would of been preparing for a battle.. but why did YOU not tell Me.. and I looked at YOU.. it does Not matter Now.. because it is going to happen anyways.. and I Just can't believe you have kept this from me.. I told YOU that I wanted to protect YOU.. and that is what I have said.. I have promised YOU that the reason why I am here.. it is to Protect YOU and Your nation.. if YOU told me about this War.. then I could of found More men.. gathered more Men.. and I would look behind YOU.. which there was more than thousand Men.. they are ready.. has been prepared for this War.. and of course.. I knew that you had the men power.. but I also wanted to bring more so that we can win this War.. and I get UP.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I told you.. ever since I saw you from the Garden.. that I was going to come to YOU.. I have made the Promise in the garden.. when I was only looking at the garden of flowers.. even though I am a lowly servant son.. that One day I am going to see you and meet you at the Palace.. I told you that I will make this promise that I will become a Swordsmanship so that I can guard and protect.. Because this is all I can give and this is all I can do for YOU.. I may be very small.. and not be much to YOU.. but I know that I will never give UP on you.. I will keep on fighting for YOU as long as YOU give me a chance to stay.. and Now.. here I am.. I have kept my words.. I have kept my promises to YOU.. it took me long long long time to get and come this far.. but I am here right Now beside YOU.. I told you when I was young
MAH MAH.. They have more experience then me at the art of swordsmanship.. but having more Men it be better for this war.. and My Heart.. I just can't believe I have to hear it like this.. at the last minute when I did Not know anything.. and I just can't see YOU go out on the Battle.. I know that YOU would and you will.. I can't see you at the battle field.. I saw you training with your teacher who is the Chief general.. when I saw YOU with the stick.. I knew something was going to happen.. YOU know that I can't lose YOU.. YOU know How much I love YOU.. and it be better if I die rather than YOU.. and I hear the Horn.. and someone is blowing the Horn from the far.. and I know now.. so I would get UP.. both feet.. and I turn around.. and I look at the seven Men.. the friends.. I am going alone first.. and I am looking at the Horse.. and I get on its Back.. holding the sword with my hand.. and I see your hand telling me to wait.. but.. I know that it is time.. I needs to GO and handle some business here.. I look at the closest friend and I tell HIM.. to Protect the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. be with you.. and.. I see the Other Six Men.. they all get on the back of the Horses and holding the swords in their hands.. I am looking toward the Fortress and my Heart.. it is Hurting me More.. when I am thinking about this More and More.. my Heart keeps on hurting.. why didn't WANGSEJABI MAH MAH did Not tell me anything about this situation.. I know I may not be much.. but I know that I will fight for YOU.. I will do anything for YOU.. even I know that I can die for YOU.. I am sure I can bring some enemies die with this Sword.. but why is My Heart keeps on hurting me.. this is NO JOKE because this is a War.. and I would turn to look back.. and I am looking at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. DO you not know how much I love YOU.. and I am grabbing the strings of the Horse.. and I swing it and the Horse takes Off.. the Six Friends behind Me.. they too grabs the strings of the Horses and swings it.. and follows behind Me.. as the Horse keeps on running fast.. I turn on the Side.. putting the Sword into the sheath and I pull the Bow on the side.. and behind is the arrows.. and the Horse keeps on running.. leaving the Palace.. and it is going to the Fortress.. and the Horse stops.. and my hand hits my Chest.. How long was this been going On.. How long was it for this talking of the war.. I wonder how the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH felt.. knowing there is going to come this war.. and have to keep it inside for a long time.. and I grab the Two Arrows.. putting on the Strings of the Bow.. PULLS the strings Back and I would release the strings.. the arrows shoots far off.. and I would sit on the Horse.. and I would think about when I was a young Boy.. watching YOU from the far.. when YOU were young.. I was sitting on the Horse.. the Commanders behind YOU.. the Chief General next to the Target Practice.. with the Flag.. my eyes full of tears.. YOU were holding the Bow pulling back the strings with the Arrow.. and release the strings and the arrow shoots and hits the red dot of the target.. and hearing the cheering and hands clapping.. flag swings around.. BULLS EYE.. and as I am sitting on the horse.. being still.. what bothers me the most.. I was by the Ocean water.. thinking about YOU coming to the Ocean waters.. but YOU just stood.. YOU just sat on the Horse.. watching me from the distance as I am looking at the waters.. but did Not tell me anything about it there.. it bothers me when I saw YOU looking at me.. sending four new friends to me.. and I saw You turning the Horse away and in silent you left the site.. but the Heart.. was it heavy leaving without mentioning about what was to come.. why did YOU not say anything then.. why did YOU not tell me that something was about to happen.. why just leave in silent.. YOU know.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU told me.. I would left everything behind and just went with YOU that night.. I would of not think about anything but to Just to protect YOU and to Protect Your Nation.. I would of done anything.. If YOU just said something.. I would come with YOU much sooner.. I feel like a foolish person now.. because I would told YOU that I was Not coming.. I do remember you be asking me to come with YOU.. but I told YOU that I needed some time away.. that I wanted to stay by the Ocean water.. but if YOU just told me then.. what was happening.. YOU know that I would leave it behind and came with YOU without making you feel frustrated.. because I know that I can be some kind of Help of your Need.. why do YOU think I wanted to be a Swordsmanship.. WHY would I learn this skills and this Art of holding the sword.. I have promised you.. I remember when I was YOUNG.. I made a Promise to YOU.. even at the Garden when I knew Nothing about the Sword.. I told YOU that One day.. I am going to master the Art so that I can be useful and to be a part.. to Love YOU and to protect YOU forever.. and YOU have seen me through it ALL.. YOU have seen me when I had no skills at the sword.. when I was working in the garden as a flower Boy.. just as gardener.. Now here I am with the Sword.. at least you could of told me then.. I would not feel so bad right Now.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU know that I would drop everything just for YOU and to Protect YOU because YOU know How much I love YOU.. I am looking towards and I am watching the Arrows flying and many arrows flying over the Wall of the Tower.. I turn to look at the Left.. ten men sitting on their Horses.. bows in the hands.. Looking UP.. and Arrows shoot Fire and I am truly Touched.. these are the Men that belongs to YOU.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see the Chief General standing on the Tower.. and He arm raises holding the Sword UP.. and ALL the Men up on the Tower of the walls.. They are too holding the Bows.. and arrows are shooting out.. I grab the Bow.. and I turn back.. grabbing two Arrows.. I remember when YOU.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. when YOU were a girl.. I saw YOU on the Practice training ground.. I was sitting on the Horse and My Father next to Me.. I have never see a Princess.. Now a Crown Princess.. grabbing the two Arrows.. and the TOP GENERALS.. the CHIEF GENERALS who were standing behind YOU.. and they kneel.. two knees.. heads looking Down.. asking Only to shoot One Arrow.. and I would watch YOU.. the two ends of the arrows.. pulling back the strings of the Bow.. and pulling aiming and off you release.. the two arrows flies fast and Hits the Target on the red BULLS EYES.. the Chief General.. the teacher holds the flag and swings.. BULLS EYES.. and the five TOP generals.. three are Chief Generals.. they raise their heads too look.. hands would all clap.. and I would sit on the Horse.. my hands start to clap.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. MANSAE WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. my hands would clap.. as I am holding the Bow.. two arrows in my hand.. DO you know How much I love YOU.. I was touched in my Heart.. I was truly touched in my soul.. I was truly inspired when I saw what YOU did when YOU were young.. I even started to practice.. when My Father was with me.. I would ask HIM that I wanted to protect YOU.. How do I protect the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Please help me to be the Protector.. and I remember my Father looks at me.. and lowers.. Do what the Crown Princess has done.. I started to practice Shooting arrows.. as I am looking at the wall.. I look UP sitting on this Horse.. I raise up the Bow.. putting the two ends of the Arrows and I pull back the strings.. and I aim looking towards.. I release the string and the two arrows flies Off.. over the Wall and I would keep on looking back.. two arrows.. pulling back the strings and release.. the two arrows would keep on flying over the walls.. I hear the foot steps.. I hear the Horses coming.. and I see the seven friends and they all stop behind Me.. and pulling their Bows.. grabbing the arrows with me.. and aiming looking over the wall.. More arrows are shot fired out and the Eight of us kept on pulling Out the Arrows.. shooting over the wall.. and Chief General turns who is standing at the tower of the Wall and shouts.. they are retreating.. and He raises the Sword UP and Shouts in loud cry.. and I raise UP the Sword.. the Seven men behind Me.. they raise up their swords.. and the ten Men on the left side.. all shouts.. MANSAE to the Crown Princess.. MANSAE TO WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE TO CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I can feel the tears flowing down my Eyes.. CROWN PRINCESS.. the enemies are going to come back.. But right Now they have retreated.. SO we have WON this Battle.. and I turn around.. Protect the Crown Princess.. Protect HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and as I turn to look back.. I just can't believe it.. and the seven men also turns to look back with Me.. I see YOU.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and YOU are riding on the Horse.. even few Chief Generals and the Commanders are on the Horses and YOU are leading.. I see the Bow in your Hand and also the Sword on the Side.. and I just can't believe it.. YOU must not GO.. the Battle is going to be fierce.. we won but the More are coming this Way.. and I get Off the horse.. and I would walk fast and I kneel before YOU.. two knees.. Head looking down.. my arm up.. and I see you stop the Horse.. Now the seven friends of Mine also gets off the Horses.. and they are behind me.. kneeling.. two knees and heads looking down. arms are Up.. and I see you raise Up the Sword.. and I lift up my Head to look at YOU.. I just don't want YOU to go out
MAH MAH.. You grabbing the two Arrows.. grabbing the Bow.. and putting the two ends of the arrows on the strings of the Bow.. and aiming the arrows.. and your hand releases the string of the Bow.. the two arrows goes straight and Hit the Red Dot.. the flag was raised UP and the Chief General swings the Flag.. I was sitting on the Horse.. my hands would clap with the Chief generals and the commanders.. and they would shout.. MANSAE to Crown Princess.. MANSAE.. HOORAY and I was truly touched.. I asked my Father that very Night.. when I was at Home.. I wanted to Protect the Crown Princess.. How can I protect the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please Father tell me.. Please.. and He tells me.. DO what the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH has did and what I saw that morning.. every Night.. I looked at the Target that my Father made.. with the RED DOT Circle around it.. I started with One Arrow.. my hands would hurt.. my arms would ache.. and I knew YOU were so strong.. because pulling the strings of the arrow.. my Father would tell me to keep on pulling it over and over.. for months I had to do the basic training.. just to pull.. then He gave me the arrow to shoot.. It would not shoot at all.. as Months.. more months went by.. I started to shoot the arrows.. hitting on left far to the right far.. But I was thinking about YOU.. I was thinking about that if I don't this.. I can't protect the Crown Princess.. but I have made UP my Mind and made a Promise that I will protect YOU and always will love YOU.. from Months goes to years as I would start picking UP two Arrows.. starting to shoot over and over until It would Hit the Red circle big Dot.. every Night.. I would look UP to see the Moon.. into the woods.. and the Target stuck on a tree.. I would aim.. two arrows I would shoot from the distance to Hit the BULLS EYES.. I been waiting for this very Day CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I don't want to see YOU Hurt before My eyes.. I don't think anyone here wants to see YOU out on that Battle field.. WHO wants when YOU are the Next Ruler.. YOU are going to be the QUEEN for this Nation.. How can any of Us want to see you out there.. I don't want YOU to go.. that Is why I am taking the steps.. I know YOU are a very strong woman.. and also the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. but I don't want to see you Out there.. I even asked my Father.. How can I be a Protector.. How can I protect YOU.. and he told me the way.. and I did it.. practiced and trained for multi of years so that YOU don't have to go to that Battle Field.. if someone is to Die.. let me be the One to die for YOU.. at least I can say I have tried Hard.. and I did it for YOU.. just to protect YOU and coming this far to SHOW YOU that I can and that I love YOU.. Please don't refuse my request.. Please think about it before.. because I can't see YOU out there.. my Heart would not let me.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please consider this request.. and I hear the seven friends.. Please reconsider the Request.. and I see you looking down sitting on the Horse.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. there are plenty of Men here who are ready to go and fight for YOU and for this Nation.. I want YOU to be kept safe.. and I see you looking at me.. and I see you putting down the sword.. the Men raises up the Voice.. MANSAE to Crown Princess.. MANSAE to WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE TO Crown Princess.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see you giving me your Sword.. and I just can't believe it.. it is the King's Sword.. from PEH HA!.. How is it that YOU give me this Sword.. It is from the KING'S hand to YOU.. and I am looking at the Blade.. and I see the teacher.. the Chief General who is with YOU.. and he is the One to help you to get back to the Palace.. and I am so amazed.. so inspired by this Sword.. this is which the King has won many battles with.. who fought in many wars and in the battle fields.. as I keep on looking at YOU.. I can't take this Sword.. because it belongs to YOU CROWN PRINCESS.. I have a sword with me.. which My Grand father gave to my father to give it to Me.. I want you to take the Sword which belongs to Your Father the King.. Please.. and I would lay the King's sword on the Ground because I know I can't.. and my Head looks on the ground.. arm raises.. I see you walking.. and I see your hand grabs the King's sword.. are you considering to stay in the Palace.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I just can't see you on that Battle field.. Please consider.. Please be safe.. and I see YOU on the Horse and YOU hit the Horse on the side and It goes Off.. I just can't believe it.. WHY.. Crown Princess.. WHY are you breaking my Heart.. I asked you to Please Consider and I see you raising up the King's Sword.. and the Men.. the soldiers.. Commanders and the Generals.. Chief Generals.. they are all preparing to go Out to the field.. ready to fight Out.. as I turn to LOOK at YOU.. I hear other voices.. Please Consider.. Please stay in the palace.. Crown Princess.. I Look up at the sky.. Please help me Father.. help me because the Crown Princess does not hear my Voice.. the Battle is going to get fierce.. my eyes can't see the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH out fighting.. Do you want to see a bloody Heart.. How about a bloody Tears.. YOU are suppose to be the One to rule Next.. and I would stand UP.. Crown Princess.. Please Consider.. Please hear my words.. Hear my Heart.. Please reconsider my request.. and I hear the seven friends also asking the Crown Princess.. Not to go.. Not to go Out to fight.. we have plenty of men who will fight for YOU and will die for this Nation.. I came here so that I can Protect YOU.. I came and became the Swordsmanship for YOU.. so that I can protect YOU.. because when YOU love.. YOU just don't want to see hurt and I would start to show you my tears.. Crown Princess.. Please Consider.. Please reconsider my request.. the Chief General UP on the Tower.. he raises the Sword and the Horn Blows.. saying the Enemies are coming again.. the Horn Blows.. Get ready for Battle.. I am looking back.. thinking about the Time.. both eyes would close.. I am standing by the Horse.. and in my both hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I just wants to be with YOU.. Missing YOU.. I just wants to go back.. looking at the Picture of YOU.. the art sketch paper.. and my Father walks and stops next to me.. and He has the Bow in his hand.. and Pulling the strings of the Bow back.. my father looks at me.. and I turn to LOOK up at him.. what if I never see YOU again.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am so Little.. I am so weak right Now.. there is Nothing that I can give YOU.. what am I suppose to do because I know that I am powerless and useless right Now.. all I can do is just pull out this Art Sketch Paper.. my eyes would look at this Picture of YOU.. but there is NOTHING THAT I can do.. that is Hurts my Heart so bad.. but Just loving YOU.. can it really work.. can anything truly work Out like this.. Look at me.. I am so Poor.. I am uneducated.. I am so weak and so Little.. have NO power or NO strength.. what can I do.. and I be looking.. tears would fill my eyes and it starts to roll down my two cheeks.. what do I do.. I just can't give UP right Now.. do I suppose to give UP now.. and my Father looks at Me.. He grabs an Arrow.. put the end of the Arrow.. pulling the back of the string of the Bow.. and He aims.. the target in center of the Tree.. and He lets go of the string and the Arrow Flies and It hits the Middle.. BULLS eye of the target.. I am wondering.. what do I do Now.. I can't think of anything else.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH has become so Big.. become so Great.. My Father.. which he takes out another arrow and Put the end of the arrow of the Strings of the Bow.. and He pulls back and aims.. and I lift UP to look.. He releases and the Arrow flies and Hits the Middle of the Target again.. I am looking UP at my Father.. He smiles.. and I am wondering.. when can I ever be good like my Father.. I want to learn to shoot the arrow Like this.. I see my Father turns away and He walks Off.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I know that my Father wants to show me and teach me something.. and I look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU again.. I really want to protect YOU.. I really want to be there for YOU.. I wish that It is ME who can truly Love YOU and that YOUR HEART can open UP to accept.. but I know that even though I want to give YOU all my Heart.. all my Love to YOU.. I look at myself.. I am a Low Born.. I know that I can't afford to be with YOU.. WHO am I to Love YOU.. I have Nothing.. what can I give or bring which YOU have already just too Much and plentiful.. My Father stands behind.. and I would turn to LOOK back.. I see his Figure but could Not see HIM.. but I hear his voice.. telling me.. If I love YOU.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I am not afraid to Die for Love.. It should NOT matter at ALL because Love comes from the Heart.. if I truly Love YOU.. I will do anything to be close to YOU.. if I truly choose Love and Death.. and if it does not scare me.. I can just truly Love YOU forever.. does Not matter about what will happen to me.. if I can only Protect YOU.. and that is the Mighty Weapon I carry just to be with YOU.. Just to be close with YOU.. Just to get to know YOU little.. that is all it matters.. because Love is the greatest gift that A HEART can give to a person you truly Love.. and I hear my Father.. telling me that the secret Weapon is the Bow and the Arrow.. and to DIE for YOU means to protect not just YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. but also Your Nation
Oink Oink.. I can't wait until I see your Heart.. for many days.. for many nights I have been waiting for Your Heart.. I think it has been years that has gone by and still I am waiting for an answer.. there has been a Knocking at the front door and Now I am going to the Front Door to open it.. as I open the Door to Look.. I see a big Box left.. I am Not sure who left this Big box.. and there is a Note which has been written to Me.. and All I see is a Name on the Note.. But.. why is this Big box left to the front door to my House.. did I ever asked for something.. was it a wish I made years ago.. and Now it has arrived.. was it a Prayer.. I been praying for Your Heart.. but I don't think you can answer it right?? but I been waiting all this time.. It can't be Your Heart right!? and this Big Box.. I have to lift it UP and I would carry it to my Room.. wondering why is it this Big.. the Note of the Name.. it is Not even my Name.. but has a Name on it.. is it suppose to deliver to my Place.. to this House.. and I am wondering as I would lift UP the Big box and carrying it to my room.. and I am thinking.. what if it was Not to me.. maybe came to the wrong house.. I been asking over and over.. asking as I would Look at your Picture.. wishing looking UP at the Moon.. wondering does the MOON even care about my Wish at the Nights.. every night.. walking Out side.. I would stand LOOKING UP at the sky.. Looking to see if the MOON would appear.. in my hand is Your Picture.. looking at YOU through this Picture.. wishing that if I can have Your Heart.. would you Please send me Your Heart to me.. I have so much to say.. so many words.. even I can write many words directing to Your Heart.. only if YOU can send Your Heart this way.. Only if YOU can have ears to listen to the words I needs to say.. what I want to say is NOT going to be enough but it is the Needing of Your Heart.. to say that I been loving YOU.. YOU are wondering.. if I am only looking at your Picture.. How can I say that.. am I lying to YOU with these words.. am I just using the words to Look like I am.. and if you want to see if I am true with my Words.. if I am reals with my Words.. you can truly try me and test me to see if I am truly a Fake One.. but One thing for sure that I can share and tell YOU and be real with YOU.. that for a Long Long Long Time Now.. for two decades that time passed by.. I been able to share and type and write all this Time.. I been sharing and telling and writing as long as I remember.. but I can say that for more than 20 years Now.. I been sharing and typing and writing.. never giving Up and coming this far.. YOU do not have to trust me.. YOU do not have to believe me at all.. YOU can call me a Liar or a Fake all you Want.. but when YOU look at me as the Writer.. I been reals all this Time.. and this is one thing that I can tell YOU that Now.. I have the experiences that YOU need to know that now.. when it comes of Loving YOU.. I know that I can Love you Good.. I know that I can love you right.. and I know that I can tell YOU through the Letters that I do love YOU.. coming Out at Night.. I love the Peace that is in the air.. I can stand still looking UP at the dark skies.. LOOKING at the stars and the MOON.. on this very night.. My Hand is holding Your Picture.. I am Not sure why I just can't let go of Your Picture.. but I would take a LOOK at YOU.. wishing that I can cry Looking at your Picture because I don't know why.. but all I want to say and tell YOU is this.. How much I love YOU.. I am Not sure if you would ever believe Me.. but all I am asking if for One chance.. give me a chance so that I can say to YOU that I really Love YOU.. I want to tell YOU even when I don't see YOU.. only if YOU can come Out side at night.. on the Other side.. when you see the Dark Skies.. see the stars and the MOON appear before your eyes.. when we are looking at the same MOON.. I am sure you can hear my Heart Beating for YOU because I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. but as days go by.. maybe to YOU it seems like such a distance.. miles and miles away.. and seems like it is going to be impossible for me to ever tell YOU.. but when I stand alone.. looking at the Moon.. in the Night.. I have your Picture in my hand.. and I am LOOKING UP.. I would smile looking at the Moon.. do YOU know why.. YOU may think in your Heart.. what if I never meet You.. what if It never happens.. what if this is all Fake is what YOU are going to say to Me.. and How can I smile on the Other side if I can't meet YOU right?? YOU have to remember how it gets delivered.. YOU have to remember that behind the screen is Me.. and I am thinking of YOU always.. and to transfer love means I needs to tell YOU.. I needs to say what I needs to so that It can go direct to YOU.. that it delivers and transfers.. remember like 20 years ago.. it was impossible for anything to ever happened.. and I think about when I first started to share.. when It was Nothing at All.. I had No name.. I had No face.. I have NO reputation.. there was Nothing when I first started to share.. when I think about at that time.. I was Nothing at all because YOU did Not even know my Name.. YOU did not even know there was me in the first Place but to come this very far.. and Now I do have a Place.. I do Have a face.. and Now has a Name.. I am sure you know my Name right.. and that Name has a face.. is a person.. a MAN who has been loving YOU ever since.. I been sharing to YOU.. but it is when I saw Your Picture.. when Your picture came into my hand.. I would look at It wondering.. why is your Picture in my hand.. How did it get to me.. what is it that my Heart be feeling.. I wanted to brush it Off at first.. I wanted to say.. I just can't.. I just don't have the time to do this but.. when My hand holds unto your Picture.. something about YOU in that picture gets to my eyes.. gets to my mind.. my brains and to my Heart.. I just had to let it ALL OUT.. what is it that brings something from my Heart.. as I would Look at the key board in front and LOOK at the screen.. I would LOOK at your Picture and My eyes.. my heart tingles inside saying.. I must tell YOU a story.. a story I call how much I love YOU.. a story that Only can happen ONCE in a Life time.. to tell YOU that what I am best at and put in the time into work as I would write YOU a Letter.. a story only YOU can hear that is coming Out from my Heart.. from the Mind of the creative side of How much I love YOU.. it started with that One Picture that came across.. and I wanted to let YOU know.. I must have YOU.. I must be with YOU.. I must love YOU.. and I started to think.. How can I tell YOU this Heart of Mine.. How can I show YOU that I really do Love YOU.. that when I am standing Out side alone in the Nights.. and LOOKING UP at the Dark skies.. stars and the Moon.. there are days and Nights that I just want to see YOU.. days and Nights when I miss YOU.. YOU be wondering.. How can I miss YOU when we don't really meet.. if I don't see you in person.. How can I miss YOU right.. if there was some kind of friendship or had some kind of relationship with YOU.. it can happen of missing YOU.. I miss wanting to be with YOU.. I miss YOU because I want to be close to YOU.. to have you near.. and in my arms is what I am talking about.. is it wrong for me to Love YOU and to miss YOU all at one time because I do crave for Your closeness.. I do long for your Presences and just you be here next to Me.. even you don't have to say any words to me.. but YOU just being there.. giving me a smile if you can be the greatest gift a man like myself can have.. because I am Not asking Much.. just YOU.. and for me to keep on loving YOU.. and to transfer that love.. to deliver the message so that you know who is the One loving YOU.. I would LOOK Up.. holding unto your Picture.. looking UP at the Moon at Night.. just wishing upon the stars.. asking the Moon if it can hear me.. and I would ask the Moon.. can I have Your Heart.. I be wishing upon the stars that I see at Night.. can I please have Your Heart.. would I hear any answers.. to be honest with YOU.. I don't hear any answers from any thing.. but I know that as Long as I try.. maybe I know someone can hear me.. when a Voice is calling Out.. and sometimes it can cry Out Loud into the air.. asking for YOU.. calling Out your Name.. asking for YOU.. wishing and praying for Your Heart.. for YOU.. I been asking for your Heart.. and ever since the first day.. when I saw your Picture// into my hand I would hold unto.. and my hand would never let go of your Picture.. and YOU be asking.. why do I want your Heart so bad.. why am I asking.. why am I calling Out.. why for your Heart.. because if I can have your Heart.. I know that I can call your name.. that I can get your attention.. that YOU can see me the way I do.. and YOU will believe me that it is me who has been loving you.. that I am Not lying or it is Not a fake Love.. but a real Love from my Heart.. just asking for Your Heart means I can call your Name.. so that I can tell YOU that I love YOU.. and Your Heart will understand.. your Heart will know that It is me who truly Loves YOU.. that is why I know without your Heart.. it is impossible to tell YOU.. that my need to say it will Not go through to YOU unless I have your Heart.. many Nights it has been so Hard.. very lonely when YOU stand Out alone.. when YOU do not hear anything on the Other side.. it seems like Hopeless.. it seems like It is going to be Nothing.. I would stand Out.. at Night.. hand holding Unto your Picture.. Looking at YOU.. and I would ask.. why can't I tell YOU.. why can't you hear me.. it is that distance of being far away from YOU.. why can't I be close to YOU so that when YOU are near.. I am able to say it right there and then.. and tell YOU that it is ME who been loving YOU.. going into the room.. after I been asking for YOU.. and I would feel down.. and I
Heart that I love YOU.. and I really mean it Now.. that I truly understand.. that I do really Love YOU.. Now.. I want to say it and tell YOU.. I need your Heart.. I want Your Heart because I want to be heard when I call your Name and YOU know who is the MAN calling your name because it is I who loves YOU and has been loving YOU till this day.. so Please.. when I call your name.. Please answer so that I can have YOUR HEART.. I need Your Heart.. why.. I want Your Heart so that I can Love you More and More.. I grow More as time goes by because it is the Only thing that is the Best I can do.. to tell YOU that I love YOU..I been looking at this Door.. I tried to knock on this Door.. I would even stand by this door.. from the Sun Set to Sun Rise.. I even saw the Stars and the Moon appears in the dark Sky.. I would look at the door.. I been asking for Your Heart.. I wanted to show you this Art Sketch Paper.. I drew a Heart on the Piece of paper.. wanting to show YOU.. wanted your Approval if does this Drawing of the Heart looks like Yours.. and I wanted the answers from your Words.. But No matter How many times I would knock on this Door.. I would hear YOUR voice inside this House.. but The door never opened for Me.. It broke My Heart.. ALL I ever wanted was YOUR answers that Does this Heart LOOKS like YOURS.. if YOU only told me that It is the drawing of Your Heart.. I was going to ask YOU a Question but that Question comes with asking a Favor from YOU.. and I wanted to ask.. If this Heart of drawing which I drew in my room thinking of YOU resembles Your Heart.. can YOU Please write YOUR NAME on this Piece of paper.. in the center of this Heart saying this is YOUR HEART.. and If you would of told me yes and Writes YOUR NAME.. I would ask you a Favor.. is it okay I can call Out your Name looking at this Piece of Paper.. the Art Sketch Paper of Picture of Your Heart.. I want to call Out your Name and tell your Heart YOUR NAME and tell you that I love Your Name.. I will start with just loving Your Name and thinking of Your Name.. I would say.. can I love this Heart.. with Your Name in the center.. I can call out your Name.. every Night.. I would walk Out side.. I would turn and LOOK UP to the sky.. LOOKING at the MOON and I will show the MOON the Piece of paper.. LOOK at this Heart.. Please say the Name of this Heart.. and I would open my mouth and say YOUR NAME before the MOON up there and say.. I love this Name.. and I love this Heart means I really Love YOU.. But.. I am looking at this Door.. the same Door.. and many months has passed by.. of course for a while I begin to think.. Maybe YOU are Not going to open this Door.. maybe it is My voice.. is it just too rusty for YOU to hear.. is it because I am knocking on this door so Much YOU just grew tired of this same person.. I would see the Figure in the Window and I know that YOU are inside this House.. I saw the figure of YOU.. and Yes.. I heard your voice too saying something.. I kept on knocking and knocking.. but YOU never answered.. YOU never opened the Door.. and YOU are wondering.. why did I come back.. why did I return back to the same DOOR which it never opened for Me.. I don't know.. and If you want an answer.. I just don't know why I keep on coming back to YOU.. even though the Door never opens for Me.. YOU are asking.. DO I ever give UP.. and I will tell YOU NO.. I never will give UP on Love.. especially when It comes on Loving YOU.. How can I give UP ON YOU.. I just will Not stop trying until YOU OPEN this door for me.. I would unfold the Piece of paper.. and I am looking at the Drawing of the Heart.. It has been a while since I looked at it but I do remember.. I would sit by the Door.. and turning away from the Door.. I would sit and cry.. I only wanted YOU to answer Me.. I only wanted to see if this Looks Like Your Heart.. why don't you answer.. I wanted to know does this LOOKS like your Heart.. so that at least I can tell this Piece of paper.. the Drawing of Your Heart.. that I love YOU.. that I want YOUR HEART.. and for ever can I just stand by this door and tell it by the door and YOU can hear me from the Inside when I am standing Out side.. How much I want to be with YOU.. but I need your Heart.. Please give me YOUR Heart and tell me that It looks like your Heart.. so that I know that I can start saying and telling YOU.. telling your Heart that I really Love YOU.. but why don't you answer the Door.. why don't you open the Door.. why don't you tell me that It does looks Like or resemble YOUR Heart.. Please tell me the truth.. give an answer to My Ear so I can hear you say something about this Piece of Paper.. that It is a Drawing of Your Heart.. I want to start loving YOU.. BUT I just can't love you until YOU tell me the answer.. I want to tell YOU and Love you so Bad.. why don't you answer.. why don't you tell me something.. or just anything.. and I would be sitting.. Looking at the Piece of Paper.. the Drawing of the Heart.. which I only drew of thinking of YOU.. all I want is YOU to say.. I needs to hear you tell me.. give me the approval that I needs to know that It looks Like your Heart.. as I am standing by the Door.. I am just thinking about the last time I came to this Door.. I was crying.. and It started to shower down the rain.. I do remember I would stand UP from sitting on the ground.. and I started to walk straight.. and I would walk and stop.. turning too look at the window.. I stood there.. hands holding the Piece of paper.. the Drawing of the Heart.. and I am getting Hit by the rain and I am looking at the paper.. as I see it getting wet by the rain and It would tear slowly and into halves It became.. and I would open my mouth wide crying in the rain.. ALL I wanted to know is does this Drawing looks Like your Heart.. why is it so Upsetting to me watching this Piece of paper tearing apart in front of the eyes.. and I started to feel getting more wetter as the rain would fall down on Me.. and I would be crying and crying.. looking at the window.. LOOK at this.. LOOK at the Art Sketch Paper.. I came all the way down here to show YOU but to ask YOU for one thing.. It is all about YOUR HEART.. why can't you answer Me.. why can't you tell me what is in your Heart.. all you do is open that door and ALL I wanted to hear yes or No.. but why did YOU Not answer the door.. and as I am getting more wet by the rain.. I hear the Thunder and flashes of lightening making sounds.. and ALL I wanted is a simple Yes or No.. but I wanted to hear the answer YES more than No.. I came here to ask just this One question and also had a Favor in Mind.. as I would wait for YOU to appear in the window.. I don't see you there.. and I would turn around and started to walk slowly.. My head looks down and My Heart.. it feels so Hurt.. it feels so Broken inside.. I can't even hear my Heart or feel my Heart any more.. I just can't feel it no more.. as I am standing here.. why do I feel so Sad all of a sudden.. was it because of last time painful experience I had going away.. walking away.. if It hurts this bad.. why did I come here again.. and I stood by the door.. I know that I won't hear YOU.. I know that YOU are Not going to open this Door.. even though I already Know.. WHY did I come.. and my two hands holding the sides of this Piece of paper.. and I am looking at the Drawing of a Heart and I would smile.. YOU are thinking I should of been frowning HUH.. NOPE.. because I am thinking of another way.. different method appear to me in my Heart and IN my Mind and I came with a new Plan and I know that It does NOT Matter if YOU don't open the Door.. Just don't open it for Me.. Please keep it locked and DO NOT even come out to see this Heart.. WHY.. I am going to tell YOU what I think of Your Heart.. I know that If YOU are standing on the Other Side.. YOU can hear Me.. that is a GOOD thing because as Long as YOU can hear My voice.. and Hear my words and Knows my Heart.. I know once it gets to YOU ON the Other side.. ONE day Your Heart can Open.. I believe that YOUR HEART may Not accept me Now.. But YOUR Heart can Hear and can understand when IT comes from MY Heart of How much I LOVE YOU.. I know you know what Love really Is.. If YOU are truly LOOKING and thinking of Love.. SO AM I.. I been trying to tell YOU many times what it means to Love YOU.. as Long as YOU can Hear ME from Where you are.. YOU can be standing or can be sitting.. if YOU can Hear me.. I know that is a GOOD thing.. it is when YOU tell me to Leave YOU alone and Get Lost.. that is when I have NO Chance to Love YOU.. but able to come here.. even the DOOR is still locked and YOU are not opening the Door.. I know who I love.. and I want to boldly claim my rights to Love YOU.. and I know you can hear me on the Other side.. behind this Locked DOOR.. I know you are inside.. I saw the figure on the window when I was coming back to this Door.. and I waved at YOU.. what got to my Heart.. YOU waved back.. that is when I knew.. DOOR can be locked all YOU want.. BUT it is Not going to stop me to tell YOU a story of what it means to really Love YOU.. as long as YOU can hear me and listen to the Stories I love sharing and telling YOU.. I know I will love YOU still and I would walk UP to the Door and I would stand by the Door.. and My Hand Hits the Door.. DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK.. and Hand Hits the Door again.. and I hear.. DOK DOK DOK DOK DOK.. I was about to hit the Door but why did YOU hit it back.. I see.. I know YOU hear me.. behind this Door.. I see that YOU are there.. and also I am here just to say.. I missed YOU and I love you too.. and I can finally cry Out Loud knowing we are looking at the SAME MOON.. that YOU can hear me speak.. YOU can hear me talk and share.. that I know YOU are listening to My Heart.. that I can
I love YOU.. I asked you to love me.. I even told YOU that I love YOU.. you told me that you loved Me.. then why are you not getting this Picture.. YOU told me how much YOU loved the Moon.. Here is the Moon that YOU love.. I just want to give it back to YOU because YOU can hate me.. but I will always love YOU.. I will still love YOU until you know that I love YOU and that YOU know in your Heart that YOU love me too. I am looking at the Moon.. I am waiting for YOU.. just thinking about YOU.. Looking at the Moon.. I feel like I am starting to Miss YOU.. when can I see YOU.. can I hear Your Heart.. Can I see your Heart.. Please let me touch Your Heart.. because I need YOU.. I truly need YOU to love me Back.. only wish.. Only hope.. only dreaming if YOU can show me your Heart.. as I am looking UP toward the Moon.. I can picture in that Moon.. the Shape of Your Heart.. I want to see Your Heart.. My arm stretches Out.. my hand opens Wide.. my Other arm reaches.. stretches Out.. My Other Hand opens Wide.. if YOU can hear Me.. If YOU are able to hear.. Please listen with Your Ears.. Hear my words because I am talking to that MOON.. can YOU Hear through that Moon.. I want to know.. If YOU are Unable to hear my words.. If YOU are Unable to Hear my Voice.. On the Other side.. Is it Night.. because at this Point.. the Sun has went down and Now.. it is the Moon's Turn to get UP.. and I am looking at this Moon.. Hoping that It is Night on that Other side.. if it is.. Can YOU please come Out.. If YOU are able to see that MOON.. Please come Out from the Place YOU are.. I want to tell YOU something.. I want to speak and tell YOU something.. my hands are both open wide.. asking.. Can YOU Please give me Your Heart.. I will be standing still.. Until you give me Your Heart.. I been asking YOU for a long time.. Did you not forget.. ever since I first laid my eyes On you.. all I ever wanted is Your Heart.. All I ever talked about and asking YOU is for that Heart.. Please give me Your Heart.. Please Open your Heart.. I do not want anything else but Just for YOU to show me Your Heart and Please.. let me have Your Heart.. My Heart has been breaking.. It has been shattered into Pieces.. I am trying to put the Pieces of my Heart together.. without YOU.. I know that the Pieces of my Heart cannot come together.. that is why I am asking for Your Heart.. Only if YOU can show Me.. so that I can see the Shape of Your Heart.. and I can open my chest.. and Put your Heart inside the Chamber.. which been waiting for your Heart.. I need Your Heart.. I want to have YOUR HEART and Put close to my chest.. to see How can I live without YOU.. I know that I can't unless I have Your Heart.. I told YOU already.. How is my Heart be broken and How was it torn into Pieces and Cannot put it back together.. I broke my Own Heart.. So that I can put Your Heart instead of Mine.. that is How close I want to feel Your Heart.. to Feel the Beating of Your Heart.. to hear the Beating.. to hear the sound of Your Heart.. I want YOU very close.. SO close that I can hear Your Heart inside of Me.. so that I can see YOU close.. I am truly missing YOU.. I don't know why.. because it is so Hard to explain at this Point.. if YOU are asking me.. WHY do I miss YOU so Much.. I just saw your Picture.. which I would have it close to Me.. I would take a Look at your Picture.. and only Wish.. Only Hope when can I see YOU close.. will you ever come close to Me.. because the More away YOU are.. the More I want to see YOU close.. the More I miss YOU.. the More My Heart breaks.. breaking and hearing the sound of my Heart.. just breaking into pieces.. and I want to know.. Does Love hurts.. does it hurt you.. because for Me.. it hurts to Love YOU.. it hurts me so much that I can feel the breaking of my Heart.. I want to cry.. I want to cry a lot because it Hurts me more when I don't see YOU.. when I miss YOU.. when I step out side.. and I stand still in silent.. and I look UP.. toward the Moon.. I want to shout at the Moon and Cry when looking at the Moon.. I would say.. Can YOU please come Out tonight.. I wonder if it is Day.. Or is it Night.. If I am able to see the Moon tonight.. can YOU Please step Out side.. On the Other side.. do YOU see the Moon appear before Your eyes.. Look UP at the dark skies.. do you see the stars.. do you see the Moon.. if YOU can see the Moon appear before YOU.. Can YOU Hear me.. Can YOU Hear my voice.. Listen to my words because there is something very Important that I would like to say.. to tell YOU.. and I know for sure you know this and maybe heard it more than thousand times by Now.. But I never get tired of telling you this.. I just hope that YOU never get tired too.. If you do please tell Me so that I can stop.. if YOU hear me.. Please LOOK at the Moon.. can YOU see that MOON.. the same Moon that we can see together.. as I am standing still alone.. I am here by myself.. Looking at that Moon.. I been coming here.. from time to time.. when I think of YOU a lot and my Mind.. it gets very busy because I am thinking of YOU.. before I came Out side.. I saw Your Picture.. I saw the Picture of YOU smiling.. when I saw Your Picture.. My Heart was touched.. I put my hand on the Chest.. and I can feel the Beating of My Heart.. and I would tell Your Picture looking at YOU.. I love YOU.. YOU do not know How much I love YOU.. I am still here.. I am still able to tell YOU.. I am able to write to YOU still.. that shows that I have never lost the touch.. that I think of YOU always.. when I saw Your Picture.. it felt Like I got drunk.. I wanted to fall.. and sit on the floor.. I felt dizzy and my knees got weak when I saw YOUR picture.. I told myself.. I should Not keep on looking at your Picture.. because once I start to look.. I would miss YOU.. Missing YOU leads me to walk Out side.. Missing YOU leads me to Look at the Moon.. and my eyes would wander looking UP at the sky.. Looking for the stars.. and Looking for the Moon.. I would close my eyes.. Both eyes shut closed as I would put YOU in my Head.. a Picture pops in my Mind as I would think of YOU.. and envision YOU.. wanting to see YOU.. I would open my eyes.. as I am staring at the Moon.. I would look at the Moon.. and I would open my mouth and say.. Do you know why I am here tonight.. Do you know why I am lead here.. I saw YOUR Picture.. I saw your Beautiful Picture.. saw Your Beautiful Face.. Now Look what YOU have made me do.. I am asking YOU if YOU can hear me.. Please say something back.. Please tell me something because My Heart is listening.. say something because My Heart is opened to listen.. Say something because my ears wants to hear Your Voice and Your Words.. Please say something because tonight is the Night I really want to hear YOU.. that this very Night.. for some reason I am missing YOU much more.. even though every night I miss YOU.. and I want to see YOU every day.. But on this very Night.. I really really want to hear from YOU.. I want you to Know that I love YOU.. I really really Love YOU.. Why can't I hear from YOU on the Other side.. is it because YOU can't hear me at all.. YOU know that every time I come Out.. every time I look UP at the sky and Look towards the Moon.. I am always expecting to hear from YOU.. but every night.. I would be the One who is speaking.. saying something as I am looking toward the Moon.. after I am done speaking as I am looking UP at the Moon.. I would be so sad.. My Heart be broken.. My Heart be breaking.. My Heart be crying as I would go inside back to the House.. because I would come Out side on this Night just to hear something.. Your Words and Your Voice but I don't hear anything from YOU.. I would be Looking UP towards the Moon.. asking YOU.. if You can Hear me.. if YOU want to hear my Voice.. to hear my words.. I am here this very Night.. I am standing here All alone.. Just waiting for YOU to show Up on the Other side.. if YOU can see the Moon.. If you can hear Me Out.. Please say something so that I know I am speaking to YOU as I am here On the Other side.. I want My words to be Heard.. I want my Voice to be Heard.. if I say the Word I miss YOU.. I am telling YOU from My Heart.. that Means I really Miss YOU.. if I say the Word I love YOU.. it comes from the Deep within expressing my Heart felt to tell YOU that it is what it is.. that I am telling YOU this because I do.. But I am not sure if My Words are being heard.. if My Voice is being heard on the Other side.. What If YOU are Not there.. What if It is Night there.. and yes.. the Moon has come UP.. but YOU are Not standing Out side where YOU can see that Moon.. I want my Voice to be heard for YOU.. I want my Words to be Heard to YOU.. because None of it is empty words.. it is Words that comes from My Heart and My Mind.. from Inside of Me.. that is why I been asking for YOUR HEART.. If I can have your Heart just for One Night.. if I am able to put Your Heart inside the Chamber in my Chest.. and I close the Chamber of the gates of my Chest.. I know that if YOUR Heart is inside of Me.. I can walk out alone.. stand by myself in the Night.. Looking UP at the MOON.. so that My Words can be Heard.. so that My Voice may be heard.. and if YOUR HEART is inside my Chest in the chamber.. I would look UP at the Moon.. and YOU are able to hear all of My words.. my Voice.. and even what comes within Me to tell YOU.. YOUR Heart being so Close to Me.. I know that My Words would not go empty.. and I can just express and tell YOU.. and YOU can Hear me.. that YOU can hear me finally and that I know that YOUR HEART is able to hear my words and My Mind.. and to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I would know for sure.. I can come Out side every night.. without questions rather YOU are listening or Not.. But I know for sure YOU can Hear Me
Waiting for me.. I would ask this Angel.. How can I be an Angel.. because I just want to be close to YOU.. even though I do not ask for your Love.. I am not asking YOU.. can YOU love me.. it is what is in my Heart.. who is the One loving YOU.. I am truly feeling like I am filled and Full just by loving YOU.. and the Angel would look at me.. if I become the An angel.. I can't ever be with YOU.. but can be Near YOU.. be close to YOU and Just love YOU from the Far.. from the distance just to be there and just to love YOU and Only thing I can do is miss YOU.. and I would ask the Angel.. am I able to share.. tell and write letters to YOU.. the Angel tells me.. I still can.. I can always love YOU.. and able to tell you.. express the Joy of loving YOU.. I do remember begging this Angel.. that I needed to borrow the two wings.. or if I can be an Angel instead.. as long as I can love YOU.. as long as I can write you Letters to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. so I made the Deal with Angel.. he is going to bring me two wings and gives to me as a Gift and I will become Your Angel.. the One who loves YOU from a far and from distance.. I do remember sitting by the desk.. pulling Out the White Sheet of Clean Paper.. grabbing a Pen and started to write YOU a Letter.. to tell YOU this.. I would say.. I am Your Angel.. Please do not be afraid of Me.. but to know how much I love YOU.. when I get close to the window and the Sun goes down and the Moon with the Stars comes UP the sky.. I would open the Window and stare into the Night.. just thinking of YOU.. just missing YOU always.. I do not want to miss you any more.. there is this Ache in my Heart.. there is this Pain in my soul.. looking into the Night.. Looking at the Moon.. I am watching the Moon looking at me.. and when I look at the Moon.. I think of YOU.. YOU keep on crossing my Mind.. I can feel this pain.. a sharp Pain because I want to be close to YOU.. When can I see YOU.. When can I come close to YOU and reveal to YOU that It is Me who be loving you the Most.. would you please let me come close.. so that I don't have to keep on missing YOU.. I feel like I needs to make this Move first.. that I needs to get close.. even though I may not be able to be with YOU.. I know that if I am your Angel.. at least I get to see YOU.. see you closer and able to love you More because I don't miss YOU.. this wall.. this distance that is not able to let me get to YOU.. I know that I must break down the wall.. break down the distance.. this missing YOU.. so that I can be at least to tell YOU that I love YOU.. it is driving me Insane.. it is driving me crazy Now because I know my Heart.. I know what is IN my Heart and WHO I be loving for such a Long time.. that is why Now.. I just want to be close.. would you please accept these Letters that I write.. I just want to tell you what crosses my Mind.. and that without YOU.. I know that I can't Live.. without YOU I can't breathe so Please Help me to Love YOU more.. as I am writing on the Clean Sheet of Paper.. and I hear the Knock on the window.. and I turn to Look.. it is the Angel who has brought me the gift.. the two Wings.. NO more asking to borrow but Now I have two wings.. Once I put the two Wings on the Back.. I will become Your Angel.. who can be near YOU.. Not missing YOU no More.. I see the Angel leaves the two Wings by the Window and He leaves.. I am looking at your Picture.. I am so sorry that I have to be an Angel.. only thing I can do is to be Close.. just to be there and just loving you from the Distance.. But I do get to tell you how much I love YOU.. at least I have the Voice to share from these letters.. to tell you I love YOU.. for so long.. I have never stopped loving YOU.. will you please let me Love YOU still.. as I open the Window and grabbing the two wings.. I am looking at them.. both hands holding the two wings.. I am looking at your Picture sitting on the top of the desk.. I can't breathe.. because it is so Hard for me to breathe right Now.. I want to go.. I want to be with YOU Now.. if I can't do this.. I know I be going crazy.. so please understand why I am doing this for YOU.. I put the two Wings on my Back.. and I fall on the Floor.. and crying.. as I am holding your Picture.. IN my hand is your Picture.. I want to be with YOU.. I want to be with YOU forever.. If I stay here.. I know that I will miss you more.. and Missing YOU drives me Crazy and in such great pain.. I feel aches all over my body.. I am wiping my tears as I am looking at your Picture.. why do I have to be so far from YOU.. why do YOU have to live so far that I must do this.. WHY.. as I feel this Change.. I become Your Angel.. but as long as I can still love YOU and tell YOU How much I love YOU.. I don't care what happens to Me.. as long as YOU know.. YOU know that My Love for you is surreal.. that I love you for real.. and as long as YOU get this Message.. I am looking at the Bottle.. I been taking few shots.. before I would write you a Letter.. I would have the shot Glass.. and with the Bottle of Rice Wine.. I would pour on the Shot Glass.. My Heart could not take this Pain.. this Ache.. so I started to drink.. so that I don't feel this Pain in my Heart.. help Me to love YOU.. Help me by accepting the Letters so that I know that I have a chance to Love YOU... as I would stand UP.. on two feet.. I would roll the Paper and I would grab the Empty Bottle of the rice wine.. put the Rolled paper into the Bottle.. and I am standing.. walking to the window.. and I am looking at the Moon.. I would walk away from the room and go out side.. as I am standing outside.. One hand holding your Picture.. Looking at your Picture.. and On the Other hand I holding the Letter inside the Bottle.. I know that I must get to YOU.. I must fly over the Moon and go where YOU at.. Please be where I met YOU.. Please know that I am coming and I am going to YOU.. I have just written a Letter.. I have told YOU in the letter.. I have asked the Angel.. if I can be Your Angel.. so that I can be near YOU and love you from the distance.. if I stay here.. How can I show YOU that I love YOU.. How can I tell YOU that I love YOU.. so Now.. just standing here.. going out side and just looking at the Moon is Not going to do anything for Me.. I hope that when YOU receive the Message.. the Letter inside this Bottle.. will you open the Letter.. will you please accept and read it.. because I put so much time and thoughts.. my Heart into each Letter.. letting YOU know How much I miss YOU.. I miss you that It drives me Insane.. I miss you that it drives me crazy.. if YOU can't come to me.. then I will go to YOU.. but Now as your Angel.. please accept my Heart.. Please accept the Letters I give YOU.. and I am looking UP the MOON as I am speaking from My Heart.. I am looking UP at the Moon and telling these Words to the Moon.. I know that YOU can't hear me.. because of the distance.. for being so far away.. but I will let you know soon as I fly over the Moon to the Place you are.. Please Open YOUR Heart.. Please let me In.. Open your Heart for Me.. and please don't reject how much I love YOU.. how much I miss YOU.. Please open your Heart and receive and accept.. I am crying Out as I am saying these things.. LOOKING UP at the Moon.. Looking at your Picture.. Holding hard on the Bottle.. I want to give.. I want to give as much as I can.. I want to give YOU how much I love YOU.. I just want to give you my ALL.. my everything to YOU.. and the two wings starts to flap.. as I feel myself being lifted from the Ground.. WHY must I change to Love YOU.. why can't I love you for Me.. WHY do I must have two wings.. why have to be an angel to Love YOU.. I just want to love YOU.. but standing here.. I know I can't get to YOU.. I know that just standing here and standing still.. Nothing will be done.. so Please forgive me for changing into I am waiting for the Moon to appear.. in my hands is a Letter I have written for YOU.. but I am waiting for an Angel.. Do you know that I believe in Angels and I would ask if the Angels could Come as I am asking for One to appear before my Eyes.. as I was sitting by the desk.. and I would write.. pulling the Piece of paper before me.. I would be looking at your Picture.. Only if YOU know my Heart.. trying to let YOU know How much I love YOU.. I been practicing writing on this Pieces of Papers.. I would even grab One Piece of paper.. walking to the Mirror in the rest Room.. I am Not a Person who can speak well in speech.. I may not be able to speak right with the Words when it comes face to face.. But I know that I needs to practice my Speech telling YOU and Letting YOU know How much I love YOU.. as I am in the rest Room.. I am Looking at myself the Mirror is in front of me.. I know that I can let YOU see the Letter.. but.. I am alone in this House.. so I would show UP.. looking at myself and trying to Picture YOU standing on the other side.. will I have the Boldness.. WILL I have the courage to Tell YOU what My Heart feels.. WILL you let me speak to YOU about How much I love YOU.. as I am looking at myself.. Looking at the Mirror.. Holding the Piece of paper.. and I would try to talk.. try to speak.. but my Words would Not come Out because I am Looking at Me instead.. but I know that I needs to practice.. practice more to speak to YOU.. to tell YOU.. to have the Guts and Courage.. but I am wondering will YOU even give me Your Ears to listen.. will YOU give me the attention that I need from YOU so that I am able to talk to YOU.. to get something Off my Chest.. letting YOU know what I am thinking.. to Let YOU know that I love YOU.. I would open my Mouth.. and I would start to read from the Letter.. and I would say to YOU.. even though YOU are not here.. But I am envisioning that YOU are here and able to listen to the Words I am telling YOU.. speaking to YOU.. I would say.. I can't get my Mind Off of YOU
I want to be well prepared.. I want to be ready to Tell YOU that I have a Love story that Only YOU can hear.. that I can share to YOU.. would you give me Your Time and energy.. your attention is all I am asking for.. all I need so that I can tell YOU.. I been looking.. trying to speak.. because I am not well in speech.. but I do know how to write Many Letters now.. and the Best way.. fastest way for me to reach YOU is by giving YOU this Letter.. I can look at myself and holding UP the Piece of Paper in my hands.. and reading the Letters.. How long can I be doing this.. and I would ask.. How far can it go if only thing I do is read the Letters looking at myself at the Mirror in front of Me.. I would keep on trying.. after sitting down by the desk.. I would pull up the chair.. with the Pencil and write YOU a Letter.. letting YOU know there is so much going On my Mind.. burning inside of My Heart.. that I still Love YOU.. I would pick up the Picture.. taking a Look at YOU.. and always.. it brings me great Love and Joy and Inspires me to write and to tell YOU a Story that I love YOU.. the Only thing that I can do.. the Only thing I can bring out from My Heart.. and I go to face the Mirror.. and I look at myself.. I wish that It be YOU on the other side.. I want to tell YOU.. I want to read the Letter to YOU.. but I am only looking at myself and it breaks my Heart that I am only reading to myself.. But I want this Letter to reach YOU.. so that YOU know my Heart.. my longing has been growing.. missing YOU brings Hate in my Heart cause of the pain that comes with it.. I wish that YOU know that Loving YOU sometimes Hurts me the Most because I miss YOU.. I can't stop thinking of YOU.. going back and forth.. to Sitting by the desk.. writing a Letter.. getting UP from and walking to the rest room.. Holding UP the Letter.. looking at myself looking at the Mirror and reading the Letter Out Loud.. I would look at my self.. and it hurts Me because I miss YOU.. I been missing YOU for such a Long time.. going back to sit.. Looking at your Picture.. my Heart starts to burn inside.. I want this Burn to come across Your Heart.. I wish that YOU can deal with the same Burning and this Pain that is aching inside my Soul.. I feel like it is NO fair sometimes because.. WHY is it that I am the One who has to deal with this Pain of ache.. this Pain of missing YOU and It feels Like YOU do not feel anything on the Other side.. do YOU know that I am waiting for YOU still.. that I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I don't want to spend the time looking at the Mirror and Looking at myself and just reading the letters.. it is NOT for me but for YOU.. so I have decided to change a New Way.. I would wait.. waiting until the SUN goes Down and asking for the MOON to come UP.. I would walk Out side.. and stand alone as I see the Night has approached.. I am holding the Letter In front of Me.. and I have heard that there are Angels WHO is able to listen to an OUT CRY of the Heart when YOU LOVE.. I would stand.. Open the Piece of Paper.. the Letter is in front of Me.. and I started to LOOK UP at the Moon.. but I am Not asking the MOON anything.. but an Angel.. if the Angel can hear me on this very night.. can the Angel be the One to do me a Favor.. I have One wish.. and It is very simple Wish.. to Hear the Heart of Mine crying for YOU.. I know if the Angel can hear the sobbing of my Heart.. my Tears of pains that comes from inside.. if the Angel can hear me and can feel sorry for Me because I am asking for the Angel to Give this Letter to YOU.. I can sit on the ground and weep.. sob in tears for many hours if I have too.. but if an Angel.. who is passing by through My direction and catches me in tears.. I know that the Angel can stop and Looks DOWN from the Sky wondering what is wrong with me.. and I can say to that Angel.. I am man who loves to write Love Story.. but it is a story of YOU.. story of how much I love YOU.. and that I am asking that Angel.. if He can do me a favor.. to give this Letter I have written to YOU.. to send the Message that I been here.. all along waiting for YOU.. if the angel asks.. I would tell that Angel.. I have even tried.. I even went to the rest room.. after I sat on the chair by the desk.. and I would show the angel the Picture of YOU.. and tell the Angel.. who YOU are and I would say to that Angel.. I would write with the pencil on the Piece of paper.. and I would get UP and go to the rest room.. and I would stand looking at the Mirror of myself and I would read the letter that I wrote to YOU.. I been doing that for a while.. but It seems like it has no Hope.. because I am only reading it to myself.. I want YOU to hear me.. hear my voice.. hear my words that I do speak.. I do talk and say.. share what is in my Heart.. but what good is ALL that when YOU can't even hear me.. if YOU just don't know or understand.. and I started to LOOK at myself on that Mirror.. in Pain.. what good is it if I am the Only One who knows it for myself.. so I have decided to walk Out.. and WHEN I saw the Moon.. if I love to stare at the MOON in the Night.. I am sure an Angel can also Love the Moon just like Me and can spend the Night looking at the MOON.. if I can be loud and Clear and if the Angel who is staring at the same MOON I am.. I know for sure.. the Angel can hear me Out.. hear my misery of NOT able to get the Letters to YOU.. Hear this Heart of Mine crying in the Night as I am staring at the MOON.. if the Angel sees Me.. with a Broken Heart and the Longing.. waiting for YOU.. waiting for your answer.. I am sure the Angel can look.. as I would walk Out side.. Not just Once.. but each Night.. two days.. four days.. ten days I am out.. holding the Letter.. and I am looking UP at the MOON.. open my mouth so that YOU can hear me Out Loud.. I am sure after many times of walking with the Letters.. the Angel can see that I am very serious.. I am Not asking Much but it is so simple.. to let YOU know my Heart.. to Let YOU know that I love YOU.. to Let YOU see the Heart of Mine.. that I am falling for YOU.. I need YOU and I need you to know that I love YOU.. that I be missing YOU.. DO you even know that.. can YOU SEE that.. and I know that One night.. with your Picture in my Hand.. and I be looking.. on the Other Hand is the Letter.. after I look at you through the Picture.. My Heart breaks into tears.. and I am missing YOU.. I will say why do I keep on missing YOU.. why must you be so far that it is so Hard for me to reach YOU.. why leave me like this stranded.. why let me die here just to Love YOU.. why do I must crumble and be hurt.. why be so miserable but at the same TIME the Joy to Love.. with this ache that leaves me this Pain.. it Hurts a lot sometimes because YOU are so Far away.. but I want YOU so Near.. so Close that my arms can wrap around YOU.. and to let YOU see the letters.. here is One that I written for YOU.. I know that I may not be good with speaking.. talking with good speech.. but I know that I can memorize the Letters that I have written for YOU.. to tell YOU a Story.. My Love story of How much I love YOU.. so that YOU can know forever that I love YOU.. as I am Looking UP.. Looking at the MOON.. I am holding the Letter.. and I open my Mouth and I read the Letter Loud.. I would say Out Loud.. do YOU hear Me.. can YOU Please hear me.. will YOU please listen to what I needs to say.. to tell YOU something that Keeps on coming from My Heart.. that I been coming Out here.. LOOKING at the Night.. I see the stars.. I see the Clouds and I see the Moon above me.. and I am waiting for an Angel.. I do truly believe that an Angel can hear me right Now.. and if an Angel who is passing by decides to stop and to listen.. I am sure that the Angel can come to my aide to Help me with this Letter.. so that this Letter can go to the right person which is YOU.. I want to say.. I been loving YOU.. I keep on telling YOU how much I love YOU.. but do you really believe in this Word that I am telling YOU.. I know that My Heart is Not mistaken.. but it is real because the Only thing I can do is tell YOU that I love YOU.. there is Nothing More I can say.. there is Nothing but the three Letter words I can tell YOU.. which is I LOVE YOU and I want YOU to know.. I want you to know this truth before I go.. because I know that One day SOON.. YOU will know for sure the truth.. that I do really Love YOU and meant it with my Words.. I been waiting for the Angel.. so that if the Angel appears before My eyes.. I can tell that Angel.. and show the Picture of YOU.. and the Angel is going to get it.. will understand it.. the problem is this.. what if this Angel comes and sees YOUR picture and also that Angel falls in love with YOU.. even with the distance and miles away.. I love YOU.. even with not spending time.. and knowing YOU in face to face.. I just love YOU as your are.. I don't need to be in your Presence or be with YOU as in face to face in person to Love YOU.. even with this Miles separated between US.. I just Love YOU just the way YOU are.. if YOU don't believe me.. I know that when the Angel shows UP with my Letters In the hands and gives to YOU.. and when the Angel holds the Picture of YOU and shows YOU.. I believe by that time YOU will know that I love YOU.. I don't needs to be there to Love YOU.. because it is all about Just Loving you First.. when I love YOU.. YOU will know what a Love means in a time when I can't love YOU anymore.. I am Not sure How long I will live.. but as long as I am alive.. I know that I still can love you.. breathing.. I know I can say to YOU that I really Love YOU..I am looking at the window.. as I am in the room.. I just keep on thinking of YOU.. I know that I am missing YOU.. will I ever see YOU.. and I would walk closer to the window.. and I would kneel and looking Out the window.. I am wondering.. do you think as much as I am thinking of YOU.. I can see that the Moon is come Up
Looking for an Angel.. WILL the Angel hear me this very night.. can the Angel hear my voice.. or the Angel is Not there.. and I am looking UP.. looking around.. I can't see the Angel.. I don't see any Angel over here.. But I wish that the Angel can hear me.. I wanted to ask.. can I borrow two Wings.. can I have two wings.. I know that staying here in my room.. looking through the window.. and just looking UP to the Moon.. this distance is not going to take me any where.. I be missing YOU.. I want to tell YOU something.. I need to say something.. Let my words say something.. kneeling here and just looking UP at the Moon.. it is going to take me No where.. I want to be with YOU.. I want to Hold YOU.. if it is cold there.. If it is snowing.. or raining.. I want to Hold YOU.. let my hands touch your hands.. let me pull you closer.. so that I can hear your Heart Beating against Mine.. will you let me stay by your side please.. I am looking for the Angel.. I been praying and wishing for an Angel.. I would enter the room.. and I would look at the window.. and I would walk closer to the window in the room and kneel.. looking through the window.. asking.. Are you there.. I am speaking to the Angel.. I know that YOU can hear Me.. because every Night.. I come to the same spot.. asking for the Angel.. I know that YOU be tired of hearing me asking for the same thing.. so why Not just show UP and tell me that YOU are there.. can I have your two wings.. I need two wings.. If you can't give me two wings.. at least let me borrow two wings from YOU.. can YOU Please say something.. I need two wings.. and if the angel would finally show UP and tell me.. I am going to look UP.. Angel.. I want to have your two wings.. and can I borrow it just for one Night.. I want to spend my time Just being by YOUR side.. if the Angel Allows me to borrow two Wings.. I would place the wings on the right and left of the shoulder blade.. and I know that just for that One Night.. I want to be Your Angel.. and I be asking You.. can I fly over the Moon.. and if YOU believe in an Angel.. at least YOU know that I love YOU.. this Angel will Not let YOU GO.. this Angel will stay by your side.. just to tell YOU that I love YOU.. YOU know how much I missed YOU.. How much I been loving YOU and still been loving YOU.. I want be sitting on the top of the tree branch.. just watching you from the distance.. and having YOUR picture in my Hand.. to show YOU NOT to be afraid of me.. Look.. I will tell you.. LOOK at the Picture.. I am not a stranger.. and I would be with a Letter.. LOOK.. I am the One who has been typing YOU.. sharing to YOU how much I love YOU.. so that YOU would not step back or scream.. the Prove that On the Other side.. for a Long Long time.. I been asking for Your Heart.. for YOU TO Love me too.. even though I am not asking you right Now.. but I am asking you.. will you please love me some day.. I do not know How long it is going to take but until YOU can tell me that YOU love me.. but I would show UP as your angel.. and I would flap the two wings and I would lower to look at YOU.. and I would say.. I did not come here to hurt YOU.. I did not come here to scare you either.. I came here to say.. I have been missing YOU for such a Long time.. I had to ask.. I had to beg.. I had to pray.. I had to wish.. and Many Many Many Nights.. I would enter the room.. and go to the window in the room.. and kneel.. I would LOOK UP to see the Moon.. and I open the window and I would be asking for an Angel.. if the Angel is real or true.. and I would be asking for the Angel to answer me.. I would keep on going to the same spot.. until One night the Angel came down to the Window I was kneeling.. I just could not believe my eyes.. I started to cry when I saw the Angel and the Angel asked me why I kept on calling for Him and I asked the Angel.. two wings to Borrow.. just for one Night.. and I would show the Angel the Picture of YOU.. and I been telling the angel My Heart.. How much I been missing YOU.. How many nights I had to come out.. asking for you.. I would start just standing Out side by the House.. and Looking at the Moon.. I would pour out my Heart to the Moon about YOU.. and I knew that NO matter How much I would tell that Moon.. the Moon is Not going to tell me any thing.. it hurts because I wanted YOU to know.. so I went to the room and I believed in the Angel.. Maybe the Angel can Help me instead.. so that is when I started to call for the Angel.. which the angel came.. I asked to borrow the two wings.. which the Angel gave to me for just one Night.. I showed the angel the Letter I been writing to YOU and also the Picture of YOU and I had to be the one to go to see YOU.. I been missing YOU so much lately.. I just had to come.. Now.. I been sitting on the tree branch.. I saw YOU in a distance in a shop.. so I waited.. Of course I did not mean to scare YOU.. but the Angel gave me the permission to be an Angel for this one Night.. Now I am looking at YOU.. I don't want to leave.. I want to stay by your side.. and be there with YOU.. I want tell you how much I love YOU and if I do go.. I know that I am going to be missing YOU.. I hate missing YOU when I love YOU.. why can't YOU come with Me.. or why can't I stay with you.. I brought the Letter to show YOU.. it is Me who been telling YOU and sharing you my Heart.. so that YOU would not think I am crazy.. Do you see this letter.. Do you see the Picture.. it is YOU.. I been having this picture for a Long time.. and Only this Picture.. when I feel down.. I would take a LOOK at your picture.. I can't stop crying.. Because YOU Look so much prettier.. Because YOU look so much Beautiful.. Why do you have to be this Pretty.. WHY do you have to be this Beautiful.. When YOU Love some one.. YOU look much more Beautiful in my eyes then ever.. I don't know what it is.. maybe it is because My Heart sees so much More.. I see Love that Only I can bring and tell and give to YOU.. I just want to hold YOU.. to tell YOU that I have never stopped loving YOU.. I came all down way.. flying over the Moon.. Just to see YOU for this One Night.. Now.. I don't want to leave.. I can't go because I know that I be missing YOU again.. I want to see YOU again.. I want to tell YOU how beautiful YOU are.. How much I want to be with YOU.. that when YOU leave.. when I go.. I know that I am going to ask the Angel again for the two wings.. if I can have the two wings so that I can every Night.. flying over the Moon.. waiting for YOU.. sitting on that Same Tree on that branch.. Just to tell YOU how much I miss YOU and how much I love YOU.. but Now.. since I saw YOU.. and I gave you the letter.. I know that I have to go.. YOU are the Only One who I love.. that is why I just can't go.. I just wanted to say.. I been on the Other side.. just waiting for YOU.. I even stoop by the House.. when the Moon came UP at Night.. I would stare at the MOON as it stare at me.. and I would hold Your Picture.. asking if the Moon can speak.. I first tried by asking the MOON to be the Voice I really needed to tell the One.. I been showing the Picture.. to that MOON.. to take a closer LOOK.. and LOOK at the Picture.. to Please Come Closer.. if the MOON has an ear.. can the MOON hear my words.. I first came for few months.. I stood in the same spot out side of the House.. with your Picture.. but I just grew tired because the MOON never seems to care.. did not come closer.. did Not speak.. it just stood there staring at Me.. so I had to try another way.. Now.. Look at these two wings.. I do thank the Angel who responded to my request because Now I get to see YOU.. I get to give you this Letter.. when YOU took this Letter.. My Heart stopped.. and I felt the beating of my Heart goes faster because YOU are the Only One who I love.. My Heart keeps on beating faster as I am looking at YOU.. But.. I just don't want to leave.. WHY do I have to leave YOU.. I just can't leave.. But I know that I must because I made the Promise to return.. to give back the two wings that I borrowed.. But I came here to see YOU.. I kept on missing YOU.. just looking at your Picture was not Enough.. just telling YOU through writings was Not enough for Me.. I started More.. I started to feel in my Heart I want More of YOU.. I want Your Love.. I want to see YOU.. your Presence.. your Smile.. Your Beautiful.. Your Scent.. I wanted More because My Heart started to Love YOU more.. I want More of YOU because I love you a lot More now.. why can't I be with YOU.. WHY can't I hold YOU.. my arms is killing me because it is YOU I want to hold so tight.. I want to hold you close to tell YOU.. why can't YOUR Heart be opened to me.. please tell your Heart to be open to me so that YOU will know who is the ONE been loving YOU.. It is Me who loves YOU.. I don't think there is Another WHO can Love you More and More as I can because I am able to tell YOU Heart to Heart.. if a Person is like a wall.. what good is that Person.. do NOT tell you how Much but YOU know that I can tell YOU.. PULL you into my arms.. and LOOK at your ear and I will speak.. telling YOU.. I am the One who Loves YOU.. Open your Heart.. Please.. Tell your Heart to Open to me so I can tell you more and more.. I love YOU.. as I am holding Your hand.. My hand just can't let Go.. and It is killing me because I know that it is time for me to go.. I am looking at the paper.. the drawing of a Heart.. and I am standing by this Tall tree.. is this the Right Tree.. can YOU please tell me if I am standing at the right Place.. I see about twelve more Trees behind and All around this Park.. WHY are you telling me to come to this Park without telling me Which Tree to go too.. Is it because I have delayed my Coming.. DO I needs to tell YOU that I am so Sorry.. I am so sorry for Not coming to the appointed Time.. I did Not expect the changing of the weather.. Of course
Oink Oink.. I am looking Out the Window.. Looking for the Truck.. I know that the time.. looking at the watch.. the Clock in the room and I am looking through the window.. the empty Bottle on the top of the desk.. and I know that I been drinking.. trying to get YOU off my Mind.. ever since the New Picture came.. when I opened the envelope and I would pull out the Picture you have placed inside.. I would be looking at it.. ever since I saw this new Picture.. trying to erase YOU off my Mind because I been thinking of YOU and just looking.. telling your New Picture.. How Much I wanted to see YOU.. asking you through the New Picture.. when can I be close to YOU.. but only thing I been getting is No responses because it is Only a New Picture of YOU.. as I would write YOU another Letter.. telling you how angry I am getting because it seems Like I am the Only One who sees YOU.. am I the Only One who is going crazy.. is it only Me who be missing YOU.. is it only my Heart who misses you the Most.. is it only my Head which I am thinking about Love.. just wanting to say I love YOU.. do you not miss me at All.. do I ever cross your Mind.. how about your Heart.. if only I can ask your Heart.. what do you feel about Me.. am I truly special to YOU.. am I the Only Man who can Love YOU.. please tell me some words so that I can hear YOU.. that I am able to smile knowing even miles apart.. miles which leaves such a long distance.. but I needs to see YOU.. as I would sit by the desk.. pouring on the Shot Glass.. I would be taking shots after another shots.. as I would be looking at your new Picture.. the Photo that YOU gave to the Mail man.. who came last week and gave me the envelope.. Now I am going to ask him if I can go into the Truck and if the Mail Man can take me to the Place you Live.. I may Not walk towards YOU.. but close by I want to stand to see.. I just want to know How you are doing.. How would I feel if I see YOU in person.. even though there will be a distance between Us and I know that I can't come close right Now.. but enough room and space knowing that YOU are there.. I am Not asking you to come close to me Now.. but at least YOU can see that I am doing Good.. and that still I be loving YOU.. I may Not be able to say it to YOU yet.. but when YOU see me inside the Truck.. which the Mail man would drive to take me where you are.. I just want you to know that it is Me.. whose been longing for YOU.. whose been waiting on the Other side.. by my mail Box I would be waiting for the Truck.. for the mail man to stop by on my block as I would wait by the mail Box.. just to give you a Letter putting inside on the envelope so that He can take it to YOU.. but this Night.. I know that I must go.. I must go with the Mail man.. be inside his Truck and I want to deliver the Message in this Bottle.. I want to surprise you.. so that YOU will remember that it is I who is loving YOU.. not to scare YOU but to show YOU that all this Time.. YOU would only think of the Truck.. the mail man who was inside the truck.. and he was the One who gave you the envelope with the Letter that I wrote inside to YOU.. but please.. forgive me when I show Up on this very night.. I must go and see How you are doing.. I must be there to give YOU this Bottle.. inside the Bottle is a Letter that I have written for you.. when YOU see me inside the Truck.. don't think that I am a stranger to YOU because It is me.. it was me all along who gave you the Letters.. inside on this envelope.. after a while.. you are only seeing the Truck passing through and it stops at the Mail Box.. just to give you the envelope.. that is all you see back and forth.. but How about me.. how about the person who sits in this ROOM.. who is the One pulls Out the Clean sheet of paper.. who would be holding a pen or the pencil and who thinks of YOU.. YOU do not see me because I am always behind the scene.. you may think that Am I afraid of YOU.. am I scared to show UP.. you may be thinking maybe it is the truck.. or the mail man being friendly to YOU.. and He would smile inside the Truck as he gives you this envelope.. I know when YOU receive the envelope and once you open the envelope inside is the Letter.. but Do you see my Face.. do you even think of my Name there.. do you know who is the One who is telling you all these things.. expressing Heart to Heart.. when I sit in the ROOM.. by the desk.. I am thinking of YOU.. constantly thinking of YOU.. looking at the new Picture.. my Heart is crying inside for Love.. I am crying in my Heart for Love too.. but it seems like after awhile you begin to forget.. you forget because YOU are looking at some one else but How about Me.. do you know who is the One who be really loving YOU.. all this time.. who is the One putting every thing In and Out.. and telling you how I feel.. I do not want YOU to forget about me.. I am putting into so much work here.. you know that it is not easy to tell YOU all these things.. and it breaks my Heart when YOU forget the face.. forget the person who has a Name.. who is the One loves YOU the Most.. who be missing YOU and thinking of you constantly.. what will happen when a Day Comes.. the Truck stops on your Mail Box.. and you are starting to forget the Man who loves YOU the Most.. and you stand there looking.. the mail man looks at you and says.. there is No envelope today.. and the Truck keeps on coming to your mail Box.. and every time YOU stand there.. the mail man tells you the same thing.. there is NO Letter today.. there is NO envelope.. and I know if you start to forget the One who loves YOU the Most.. I also can be the one to delay the Letters.. because I feel like YOU are forgetting the Face.. the name and the man who loves YOU the Most.. as I would look at the Empty Bottle.. and I would roll up the Letter I have written for YOU.. I do not want YOU to forget me.. because YOU know how much I love YOU.. have been loving you just too Long.. but also I know that I must Man UP.. I must tell you that I am still here.. and that I am going Nowhere but waiting patiently till you are truly ready for Me.. I want to get close when YOU are ready so that I can Love you fully.. and able to speak to YOUR ears.. and tell your ears.. looking at your Heart.. that all this time.. I want your Heart.. I want your Heart to know that I love YOU.. and Now.. sitting by the Window.. I put the Letter inside the Bottle.. and looking out the window.. and just waiting for the Time.. the arrival for the Mail Man in his Truck to stop at the Mail Box.. I been taking few shots on this shot glass.. and it has emptied the Bottle.. I wrote this very night telling you that I missed YOU.. and I just don't want you to forget about Me.. because it is I who loves you the Most.. I would get UP from the chair.. holding in my hand is the Bottle inside is the Letter.. and I would walk Out of the ROOM.. and going to the front Door.. I open and I close behind me.. I am looking at the Mail Box.. and I know that the truck be arriving very soon.. so I would walk down to the Mail Box.. waiting for the truck to come.. and as I am waiting for the Truck.. I see the Lights and I turn to look.. I see the Truck Coming and the Truck stops by the Mail box.. the mail man looks at me and smiles.. and I ask HIM.. can YOU please take me to where YOU are.. and I show him the Bottle.. and inside is the Letter I wrote to YOU.. and the mail Man was kind and telling me to come inside the truck and to stand by the steps.. as I would stand there.. and the truck would be driving.. and the Mail man drives to a Mail Box and he stops the Truck.. and as I am standing there.. I see you on the Other side.. YOU are standing by the front Door and I am standing on the steps and I see your Mail Box.. as I am looking towards the front Door.. I see you looking at me.. I do not know what it is but my Heart.. can YOU hear my Heart beating.. It would not stop beating as I am looking at YOU by your front Door.. and I would say to YOU.. I am Not the Mail man.. and I am Not a volunteer either.. but it is me.. if YOU are not sure who I am and why I am here.. all I wanted is to give you this Message In the Bottle.. I want you to remember a Face.. Please remember my Face and that this face is a person who also has a Name.. I may not be well known name to YOU.. but I am a person.. a MAN who is the One loving YOU.. all I ever wanted is to give you Letters.. Only way that YOU know that I love you is by giving you these Letters.. I don't want you to think that I am afraid of YOU.. that is why I have asked this Mail man if I can go into the truck so that I can tell YOU that I am here because I want YOU to remember me.. remember who is the One.. the One Man whose been loving YOU.. the One whose been thinking of YOU.. whose been missing YOU on the Other side.. who is the One giving you these letters.. so that YOU will not think of some one else is doing so.. that is why I had to tell myself and to have courage to tell YOU this very Night.. I wanted to surprise YOU.. so that the Impact of Your Heart you feel inside.. it has meaning of what I am doing today.. that is to tell YOU that it is me who is the One loving YOU.. some times when a person do not show UP.. you think of it is some one else but the truth is to be told that is it ME.. who is the One loving you the Most.. I just wanted to come out this very night to make a clear statement.. that I do not forget the One who I love.. and I wanted to see YOU face to face.. to see you in person so that YOU would remember.. that there is someone like Me who has been loving YOU.. and I would look at your Mail Box and I would open and I would place the Bottle.. inside is the Letter and I put into your mail Box and closed the Door.. and I see you just looking at me.. and the mail man would start his Truck and it would leave your mail Box.. as he was driving the Truck
MAH MAH.. I am watching the Little Children.. boys are walking into the training Ground.. I just can't believe that they are from the Garden.. the Parents of these children.. some of them are my friends growing Up and I am watching YOU standing by the Fence.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I never thought you be having this Big Heart.. Now look at the Hopes and Dreams YOU are planting.. the Parents who came with their Children.. thinking about their future.. and I am on the Two Knees.. tears just fills UP.. and I can feel my tears streaming down.. and One of the guy who came with his Son stops and Looks at me.. and He smiles.. and Just cannot believe that I am the trainer for the new Recruits.. and He cries Looking at me because.. I know that His SON can also dream for this Nation.. the Crown Princess.. who loves the People.. who are the One with the Big Heart for the People.. who is the One who helped the Poor People in that Garden.. Now.. the People has come because this Nation is growing stronger and stronger because of YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. it is because YOU are here that all these things can happen.. I do remember.. the First time My Heart felt something.. I was in this Position.. I saw a friend laying on the ground.. He was very Poor and Lowly servant just like Me.. we had NO Place to Go.. No place to sleep.. hungry without Homes and just picking food from the Floors.. it was at the Garden.. He got sick eating watching Him hit the floor.. I was crying for that Friend.. he would throw UP in blood and he looks at me.. telling me that Being so poor.. it is NO JOKE.. and he tells me.. I am dying.. I was crying and crying as He lay on the Floor.. My Heart broke into pieces.. and He looks at me and says.. when He dies to plant him by my Mother's grave.. and my Mother was like an Auntie to him.. as I saw him laying sick.. I heard a Loud Voice.. and I turn to look.. the day YOU came to the Garden.. I turn too look.. I fell on my face looking at the ground.. I saw YOU sitting on the Horse.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. MAH MAH.. and I would cry Out Loud More.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please hear my voice.. and I saw YOU.. the YOUNG Girl you were.. YOU had a Sword.. small sword and Pointed to my direction to Speak.. and I would be crying.. could Not talk much but it was about my dying friend.. He was laying down.. and throw UP blood in front of me.. and asking me to bury him when he died.. But Help me MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU are the Only ONE with the Power to save the Life of a BOY who has NO ONE else to turn TOO.. PLEASE.. MAH MAH.. HELP US and I would be crying Loud.. he is my best friend.. My father raised him like a SON to Me like a Brother.. SAVE HIM MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH... Please help my Dying friend.. and tears would be falling down.. and I can see.. Maybe I needs to die with him too.. if YOU can't help him.. I would lift UP my Head looking UP at you.. with tears in my eyes.. my Friend needs YOUR HELP.. the Crown Princess.. which is YOU raise UP your Little Sword and YOU would call for the Royal Physicians who came.. I was very shocked that they came here to the Garden.. I never thought YOU would do this for the Little People.. the Poor People.. for the Lowly lives who NO ONE cares about.. NO ONE cares for the Broken.. the Little People who has NO NAMES.. How do people know my Name.. they just don't and I was touched.. But YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS cared.. my best friend was dying before my eyes.. and I cannot do anything to help.. I am watching him throw UP blood and He is asking me to bury HIM next to my Mother who is already GONE.. and I would close both eyes crying Loud.. my Heart hurts because He is telling me that HE is dying.. this pain.. and I would watch the Royal Physicians walking into the Garden.. and two of them goes over to my Best Friend.. I watch HIM being carried by the two doctors.. and I would walk the wood cutters and stone builders and they have come with Nurses and even the Maids and kitchen Ladies all comes to this Garden.. feeding the Poor.. feeding the Lost.. feeding thousands of children with no homes and I would watch the remodel of the Garden as the Homes are being placed in the Garden.. and as I come to my senses.. and I am both on the Knees Looking at the ground.. the man who knows Me brings His Son.. he was the Best Friend who was on the Floor.. on the ground talking about if He dies to bury HIM close to my Mother.. Now I am seeing his SON and I look at the SON.. and I lift UP my Head and I see you standing by the Fence and I would say.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. can YOU please give me your ears and I see YOU standing with the White Dress and the Big Crown on the top of your Head.. and YOU would point the Sword direct at me.. and I would watch YOU walk closer to ME and stops next to me.. I would lift UP my Head looking at YOU.. DO you remember the Garden.. DO you remember this Man.. and I see you turn your Head looking at him.. and it seems like YOU don't know who he is and I would say.. he is the One who I was talking about.. the Day YOU came to the garden.. and I was crying.. I was asking YOU to save a Life of a Boy.. and YOU were sitting on the Horse and I was begging for Your Help.. pleading for a cause.. to help a dying Boy.. and It was when YOU brought the Royal Physicians.. two of them went over and picked HIM up.. do you remember that Day.. and I see you turn your Head looking at HIM and I see that YOU DO remember.. you would smile LOOKING at him.. Yes.. if the Royal Physicians did NOT show UP that Day.. I know that He would Not been alive this very day.. HE has remembered YOU ever since and TOLD ME.. One day HE is going to come to join the Nation where YOU stand.. NOW he is here with his SON.. and NOW we are reunited because of what YOU have done that day.. I was pleading.. begging and asking you to help me.. to Help Him and Now.. LOOK what has happened because of WHAT YOU have done that Day.. as I would hold his son around my Arms.. I want to teach this YOUNG boy how to fight for this Nation.. to raise UP the next YOUNG generations of these Boys to HELP forth.. to Push this Nation which YOU will rule.. for you to conqueror so that this NATION Of people would be so Strong for YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is because of Your Big Heart for the people you love.. the People are the reason to help this Nation to become stronger so that YOU can RULE as the True CONQUEROR.. and I would see YOU pointing your Sword at me and telling me to get UP.. so I would listen and I would get UP on two feet.. as I get UP.. I am hearing sounds of foot steps.. and I turn towards the Fence.. and a Messenger comes on the Horse.. and He has a scroll in his hand and He gets Out of the Horse and Runs towards YOU.. stops.. two knees on the floor.. head looks down arm forward with the Scroll in the Hand.. I see YOU turn looking at the Messenger.. and YOU take the Scroll.. and YOU would unfold and YOU would read the Scroll.. and I see something is wrong.. what is Wrong HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WHAT IS wrong and I see you hand me the Scroll and I would take a LOOK at the Scroll and I would read it.. The ENEMIES are COMING.. and Another War wants to break its way.. and I am looking at YOU.. and I would fall on two Knees.. and My Head looks down.. arm goes forward and I know that YOU want to do something and My hand grabs your Wrist.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see you holding the King's Sword in your hand.. but I would pull on the Other Wrist.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. it is going to be more fierce then last TIME and NO.. I wish that YOU can hear the Heart of Mine.. I know that YOU are truly a fierce warrior and Would do anything to Fight and to protect for this Nation.. but YOU have to remember that this Time.. the Children has come into the training camp.. into the training Ground.. I just can't see YOU go out there.. last time My Heart wanted to fall down.. I saw YOU on the Horse and the enemies just got too Close to YOU.. I can't see something like this ever happening because YOU KNOW how much I love YOU.. and it was YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. who opened the Fences for the Children.. these little children has come Long ways from the Garden and they have come under your Care.. and Only YOU can protect these children because they have all come to YOU.. for the War.. I know that we have mighty Men and soldiers.. the warriors who will go Out there to fight for this Nation.. to protect and to defend because this is the reason WHY I was born to do this.. to Protect YOU.. to serve and to defend YOU.. for the Nation.. I am asking YOU to be there for the Children who has come a long ways.. they have come to YOU.. they have thought about you when they came here and they just arrived.. and I would Be holding unto your Wrist.. so Please only for this time.. can YOU please listen to my Plea.. to my Heart because I just can't fight out there when YOU are fighting with me.. I just can't focus.. and knowing How strong and fierce YOU are.. I see you turn your Head and looking down at me.. but I can tell that YOU will not listen.. and I would say.. CROWN PRINCESS.. leave the Battle for Us.. for the Men that YOU have raised UP.. YOU have plenty of men who can fight.. How about Me.. How about my Heart.. I just can't see you out there.. I have tried when YOU were out there last time.. but I just could Not.. I wanted the sword to drive Into my Heart when I saw YOU.. I wanted YOUR SWORD to pierce into
MAH MAH.. side.. they need Your hands to rest.. and I see YOU looking at them.. and I would turn to LOOK over.. I am hearing More foot steps.. and I see Six Horses.. and they are the Royal Princes.. the six Older Brothers has come.. on the Horses and I would see behind the seventh.. and ALL seven men would get out of the Horses.. and as I would watch the six Princes.. they would fall on two knees.. and they have brought their swords and I just can't believe.. the seventh person is the Older man.. the Teacher.. the master who taught me with his armor who came to serve in the military Arts.. I just can't believe.. and More Military Generals are behind the Horses of the Princes.. and ALL on the two knees Heads looking down.. arms out forward saluting to Your Authority as the One true Ruler.. and I am holding Your Wrist.. this is why I am asking YOU to please stay Behind.. YOU have men.. powerful strong Men who is going to Fight for this Nation.. the Little Children needs YOU too with their families.. because of what YOU have done in the past at the Garden.. YOU are able to see them grow UP becoming parents NOW and with children.. they have all come to support this Nation.. so Please help for the Next UP coming.. we.. CROWN PRINCESS needs you to be here with the families and the Little Children.. YOU are the Only ONE that needs to stay to preserve the next and to RULE for them too.. and I would watch ALL the voices shouting Out.. CROWN PRINCESS.. Please stay and protect the Families and the Little Children and I would watch YOU.. your sword is pointing to the War Ground and I just can't believe it that YOU want to fight in the war.. WHY HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. WHY.. and my Heart breaks because YOU would not listen to the voices of Your Men.. YOUR PEOPLE.. we shout Out loud More.. Please stay with children.. I would watch One boy picking UP a stick and he shouts Fight.. I am looking Across.. Standing by the Gates.. with the three Friends.. as the Back of the Palace Guards.. I am looking at YOU.. and so many people has gathered.. ALL of the TOP Generals.. the Commanders.. the Head servant.. maids.. even the Highest Kitchen Lady.. and ALL of the Special Body Guards.. the servants and I can hear a Great Celebration.. on the Outer Court.. I am watching YOU.. looking through the gate Bars.. I am wondering.. what is going to Happen after this.. WILL I able to still love YOU.. Look at the place I am standing.. and my three friends who are standing next to me sees Me.. I am sad.. My Heart is broken because NOW.. it is so Hard to Love YOU.. of Course I should be the One who should be the Most happiest to support YOU.. I know that it was ME who told YOU to leave.. to GO.. to go back to the Palace because It is the King.. PEH HA is calling.. He wanted to show YOU and give YOU something.. I was so Happy to hear this News.. that something Great was going to Happen.. and I am now Sad.. NOT sad in a Bad way.. I am just so sad because of this Distance.. I want to come Close.. I want to be near YOU.. able to hold Your Hands.. able to be close and to tell YOU at least I miss YOU.. or say I love YOU.. YOU don't have to accept the Words but.. If I were able to get closer to YOU.. at least YOU are able to feel the energy.. able to see me Smile.. but.. NOW.. I feel like only looking at the MOON can be more closer than for me to LOOK at YOU.. I am looking through the Bar Gate.. as I am watching the People.. the Most important People.. even the Prime Minister has come.. also the Queen.. the People all lowers and falls to the Floor.. QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. people all shouts on the floor.. lowering as she walks.. YOUR Mother has come and Me with the three friends all hit the Floor.. even though she can't see us.. knowing that the QUEEN has COME.. there is a Throne Seat.. in the Middle.. but a stage which YOU are on.. and Now the Messenger Shouts Out.. PEH HA!! the King is Coming.. the KING has come.. PEH HA! and all the people shouts Loud.. PEH HA! and me with the three friends shouts together PEH HA! and the King says for the attendants.. all rise UP and every one stands UP on the two feet.. so me and the three Friends all get UP.. the King is on the Outer Court.. and there is stairs.. He looks at YOU.. HE is with tears in his Eyes looking at YOU.. and there is a Big Crown.. and as the King steps UP He tells YOU to sit on the Throne.. and I look.. It can't be.. and He places a Crown ON the TOP of Your Head.. and He looks at YOU.. kisses Your Hand and says.. Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. SOON to Lead.. SOON to take over the Place.. and everyone Falls ON to the Floor.. lowers all.. and Says CROWN PRINCESS.. I am On the Floor.. with the three Friends.. HWANGTAEJABI.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. and every one shouts.. YOU sit there very shock.. but We all knew that IN time YOU will become the TOP RULER for the Nation.. People cheers and shouts Out.. WANGSEJABI.. CROWN PRINCESS.. we honor YOU.. the Commanders comes and they take a Bow to YOU.. kneeling and lower the Heads.. to the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. the Crown Princess.. and Each Man comes to kiss your hand.. few Commanders.. the TOP 1st Chief Generals line UP.. to the 2nd In command of Chief Generals.. to the 3rd in command of Chief Generals.. and the Lower top generals and I am watching.. this is the Most biggest celebration.. very close of becoming the Ruler.. and I am falling looking on the floor.. What am I suppose to DO.. One side of my Heart.. I am truly joyful.. and I am so Happy for YOU.. I knew in time YOU would become the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I would feel so happy that Now you are going to be taking over.. even though there is NO crown Prince.. but YOUR FATHER.. PEH HA made that calling.. Knowing that YOU are ready.. I am looking at the King and the Queen.. both lower themselves before YOU.. I am in shock.. It is PEH HA and HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and they made this Happen.. Now.. On the Other side.. I am watching all of these Most important people who works for the King.. they are all going over kissing Your hand.. I see a long Line and I would be on this Position till the Sun Goes Down.. and I see YOU still sitting on that Throne with the Crown TOP of your Head.. as I am hearing foot steps.. and it stops by the gate door bar.. I know someone is coming.. Is it my turn to kiss Your Hand.. If I kiss your hand.. I know that I can't love YOU any more.. what about me.. What about my Heart.. WILL you still let me Love YOU even after I kiss YOUR HAND.. I want to know.. will you let me still come close.. because I told YOU that I did not want to Come.. I knew that THIS would happen.. I told you before.. when We were back at the garden.. up on the Hill side by the tree.. I told YOU to let me stay Alone.. that I did Not want to go with YOU.. that I told my friends to take YOU instead.. because I knew that this is going to happen to Me.. WHY are you making my Heart to Bleed.. WHY don't you just give me a sharp blade knife and cut UP my stomach instead.. it be better if I just die like this.. I told YOU that YOU SHOULD go alone.. and I know that YOU wanted me to see YOU and to join in the celebration.. Yes.. it is the Best day I see.. it is the greatest day I am feeling at One side.. that Now.. YOU are the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH.. but the next thing I want to know.. what am I suppose to do with my Heart.. I have been loving you for so Long.. I mean it has been such a very long time.. and I began to think.. if it is all about MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI.. the Crown Princess.. YOU becoming the Next Ruler.. I told you that I did not want to come because the Distance is going to push me far away from YOU.. that is why leaving me behind would been a great idea because my eyes seeing YOU Close is good but bad when I can't ever come close to YOU.. DO YOU KNOW how much I love YOU.. DO you know that I love you so much that I did decide to join.. decided to see this Celebration.. NOW My heart is breaking inside because I know there will be Distance between US.. but able to see YOU close.. but loving YOU far hurts me far more than FOR me being at the Garden.. on the TOP of the HILL side by the tree been better because at least I don't have to see YOU.. it is the same feeling because of the distance.. it kills me more that I can't love YOU.. it kills me even more that I want to love YOU.. but How.. HOW can I love YOU when YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. Please tell me How.. I hear the Bar Gates Opening.. and the Messenger is standing there.. telling me to get UP.. and the four of Us all get up.. the Crown Princess is calling is what the Messenger is telling.. the three of the friends started to walk forward.. But I stop.. I am not going to walk over.. I can't kiss YOUR HAND if I can't love YOU.. I rather NOT go and just turn the Other way.. the Messenger stops and turns to look at me.. the Crown Princess is waiting.. HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH is waiting for YOU.. but I would not make any move.. I can't go.. I don't want to walk over and kiss Your hand.. and If my Heart cannot love you any more.. Just please END my life here.. I rather DIE.. and the Special Body Guards walks over.. One pulls out the Sword to my Neck.. and He wants to strike me on the Neck with the Blade of the sword.. and I hear the voice.. the sword be place down.. I turn to look over.. as I look over.. the Important people all lowers and goes to the Floor as YOU stand UP from the Throne and YOU are looking at me.. I see the Big Crown placed.. and I am waiting for YOU to End my Life.. I know that I can't kiss Your Hand
MAH MAH.. But IF it ends this Way.. and YOU are forcing me to Kiss Your Hand so that I can't love you any more.. I am telling YOU now I will not.. I will Not kiss YOUR HAND.. so Please.. Let me GO back to the place where I belong.. Maybe I don't belong here any more because NOW.. I have reached a Point.. I can die.. If I can't love YOU.. Please let me go to see my Family.. I can meet them on the Other side.. since I know now I can't love YOU.. and My tears begins to roll down.. YOU know that I am badly hurt right Now.. YOU know that It hurts if I can't love YOU.. it hurts even missing YOU but to stand here for the rest of My life.. just to look at YOU but can't never love YOU.. I can't.. WHY did you even bring me to this Place if YOU knew it was going to end UP like this.. If you would of told me if YOU Knew this was to happen.. I would of chosen to Be at the Garden.. be close to the Buried family members.. I am not trying to start anything.. Not a war.. Not trying to bring any kind of Trouble.. but just telling YOU.. letting YOU know that I should of never come.. YES.. I do love that YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. I am truly happy for YOU.. that YOU are going to be ruling soon.. I already told YOU it was going to happen., of course never thought this SOON though.. BUT it has happened.. If I walk over.. and YOU give me YOUR HAND.. and I kiss that Hand.. that means I can't ever love YOU.. I will not kiss YOUR hand if I just can't.. I rather turn My Head and look up to the Sky and LOOK at the MOON and just talk to that Moon thinking about YOU.. I have been asking the MOON like he be a friend and sharing.. How much I love YOU and how much I been praying to meet YOU and always wishing that I can meet YOU SOON.. that part it has come true.. but I started to fall for YOU.. maybe because It Hurts so Much I started to love YOU.. maybe it was because missing YOU TOO MUCH I started to Love YOU.. but just thinking about YOU.. it made My Heart to Fall in Love with YOU.. because YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. knowing that this was going to happen.. because of THIS.. because YOU are HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH.. knowing YOU are the Best.. the greatest is why I loved YOU.. ever since I was a young Boy.. I knew that YOU were going to be someone very special.. and NOW I see.. my eyes are seeing.. that because YOU are.. that is why I rather just love YOU and Not kiss YOUR HAND..I am looking at the 2nd Line Top General.. and I am holding the sword.. and I would run and I jump into the Air with the Sword in my hand and swing Forward.. the Blades hit each other.. as he would swing the Sword back at me.. I land on the ground.. and I turn to Look back.. and I would jump back Kick and I would swing the Sword in my hand.. the Blades Hit each Other.. he does a front Kick and Hits my chest.. and I fall on the ground.. as I see my Sword next to me.. the Seven Friends of mine are in the back.. they would all Pull out the swords to Fight.. but I would grab the sword and raising UP the right Arm.. the swords goes back into the sheath and as I turn to LOOK at YOU behind.. YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. who are standing along side with the Seven friends of Mine.. I get UP slowly.. and the 2nd top Line general is standing with his Men.. the Generals and they are all smiling as I get UP slowly.. I have Lost before to this Man.. this Time.. I just can't Lose this Battle.. and I would grab the Sword.. and I would run UP and the 2nd rank General grabs his Sword and WE swing the Swords at each other.. Blades Hit and Hit.. I can hear the sound of the CLANG of the blade of the swords Hitting.. and I would go back as the 2nd rank General moves forward swinging the sword at me.. I would Counter block as the Blades Hit and I would duck and sweep the Leg and he falls to the ground.. the Seven Friends of Mine raises UP the Swords shouting.. and I jump into the Air with the Sword.. ready to Stab but I stop.. we are in the same Team.. How can we fight against each other.. the Seven Generals would all pull out their swords and they circle AROUND ME.. I see YOU walking forward.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. YOU pull out the Sword and YOU Point.. the Generals all put their Swords Down.. and I would Put the sword Down as well.. the 2nd Top rank General gets UP on the Floor.. and Puts the sword Down.. and He kneels.. and two Knees goes.. and I just can't believe this.. In front of the CROWN PRINCESS.. In front of the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. we are fighting for Nothing.. for What and I would kneel.. two knees on the floor.. head looks down.. arm raise up forward.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. and I see you stop.. with the Big Crown on top of the Head.. wearing the white Dress and YOU would look at the 2nd Top rank General.. and His head Looks on the ground.. with the Seven Generals.. they all fall down before YOU.. two knees and raises UP the voices.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. We are so Sorry for this.. and the Seven friends of Mine.. they all fall before YOU.. two knees.. Heads all look on the ground.. arms raises UP forward.. saluting as the TOP Commander.. and I see you Pointing the sword at me.. and I would say.. We have a History.. of having a Bad Blood against.. I remember when I first came to the training Camp.. and the Guard would say to HIM when He was just a general.. that I learned from the Old Man.. the master.. which NO ONE believed Me.. of course NO ONE will believe me.. and HE wanted me to prove that I was really His student learning from a teacher.. so.. I do remember we fought on the training Ground.. I lost using the wooden stick sword.. and he was very good.. and when I was struck Down by the WOOD STICK.. HE saw me on the ground and I couldn't get back UP.. started to Laugh at me and spit at me.. telling me that I am a Liar.. I been holding this grudge for a Long time.. that I know that One day we will meet and today is the day.. of course I never thought I would put him to the floor.. but I knew.. if I can't Now.. I will never if I let him go.. but.. I saw Your Face.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I saw YOU standing by and In my Heart.. we are under the same Nation.. YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. and He is also a part of Your Solider.. How can I fight someone who is with YOU.. that is when I saw YOU.. I saw the Big Crown on the top of your Head and started to think.. these are YOUR MEN.. they all belong to YOU.. as the ruler for this Nation.. for this Country.. How can I dare to put a sword to HIS FACE when HE is also a HIGH ranking Officer.. and I realize How fool I have become because I know myself.. HOW Little I am and How Little I must Be.. because I am very small.. that is the Only way I got here today because I started so Small.. WHO am I.. and what am I doing.. and I see YOU looking at me.. I see you putting down the sword.. and I have tears in my eyes.. I do not want to hurt any one.. but if there is a war who is against YOU CROWN PRINCESS.. even though I want Peace and Harmony and Unity and Joy with LOVE.. if someone wants to mess with YOU and YOUR NATION.. your people.. I will fight if I have too.. I will never back DOWN on a fight when it comes to YOU WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. and your hands touch my hands.. and I just can't believe it.. YOU are the Crown Princess.. WHY would you hold my hands.. why would you touch my hands for.. and I am looking towards the Fence.. I just can't believe my eyes.. and I am looking at children.. Little Boys are walking.. holding hands with their Mothers and Fathers and they stop by the Fences.. and More People are coming as they are stopping by the Fences.. and I am looking.. and I recognize one of them.. there is a man.. and he is around my age.. and I do remember he was a friend growing UP in the garden.. are those people common people from the Garden.. and the Sons.. the Boys are holding little Sticks in their Hands and I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. as YOU turn around to LOOK back at the Fences.. and people.. thousands of People who lived in the Garden comes and they all Lower.. face to the ground and they shout.. Please teach Our Sons to fight.. Please teach our daughters to COOK for the Palace.. and my Heart.. I would start to cry more and More.. tears are shedding down hard.. the Night YOU came.. you gave the People their freedom.. many people who were dirt poor had NO HOMES.. medical treatments.. and HOW you called the people from the ROYAL PALACE to go to the Garden.. and How you made the Place a New.. I believe some of the People thought about YOU MAH MAH.. and Now.. LOOK.. look at these People with children.. and Now.. they want to join and repay the debt they had because of you Crown Princess.. the Heart to Love even the MOST UNLOVED people in this world.. THEY just want to pay it back.. Just Like Me.. DO you see My Heart Now.. CROWN PRINCESS.. can you see the Heart that I have for this Nation.. for YOU and Your People.. and the Little Boys are raising UP the Sticks in the air wanting to be a part of the large gathering to Fight for the Nation.. the LITTLE BOYS can grow UP with a Future that Only YOU can give.. because NOW they have come.. LOOK at all those little Children.. they are standing by the Fences.. wanting to JOIN in the Military arts.. as YOU would turn to LOOK at them.. I would say.. this is why I started to Love YOU.. it was the Day when YOU came to the Garden.. People in the Garden had NO HOPES and NO DREAMS.. just POOR.. NO future.. where can the Most Lowest People go.. they do NOWHERE.. I do remember the Day
MAH MAH.. Nothing to Lose.. I have Nothing.. BUT YOU gave me a chance.. CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it was just that ONE chance I truly needed from YOU.. I think back at the Garden.. walking Out of the gates.. I see you ON the Horse.. sitting on the Horse.. and these ROYAL People comes to the Garden.. many sick and dying.. people were so hungry and had nothing to Eat.. no Homes to live.. but YOU came.. rebuilding that Garden and giving People to dream.. I remember after I saw YOU.. and I was touched.. I wanted to give YOU the Flower.. in my hand was One flower that I had.. there was Nothing that I could of give YOU but just that One.. what can a Poor Boy living as homeless can give.. from my Mother's grave.. a Bed of Flower.. a SUN FLOWER was blooming.. I grabbed that and I wanted to say.. YOU are like this FLOWER to me.. as Bright as the SUN.. when you think of a FLOWER.. it just melts YOUR HEART.. it makes you smile as IT melts as you keep on looking at it.. as I saw that Flower.. I remember I ran.. and I saw YOU on the Horse.. and I gave it to YOU.. I did Not think that the CROWN PRINCESS would take a Flower from Me.. but I watched.. many people who were hungry and dying.. the sick.. and homeless people.. the Crown PRINCESS has the BIGGEST Heart.. YOU may not know it then but NOW.. LOOK at the Fences.. the People who came from the Garden are here and they want to JOIN with YOU.. LOOK WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS LOOK at those people by the Fences.. they just want to be a part of this Growing Nation of Yours to HELP YOU to fulfill your Dreams as the RULER for the Next.. the day I saw YOU On the Horse.. and YOU brought the Royal people from the palace to help the Poor people in the Garden.. and I gave YOU that SUN FLOWER was the day when I said to My Heart to YOU.. I love YOU.. that is when I made UP my Mind that I am going to go to that palace to be close to YOU.. to Love YOU from afar when YOU don't see it.. the Day when I saw YOU take the SUN FLOWER from my Hands.. I would unfold the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. I would tell the Drawing picture of YOU that I love YOU.. you may Not know How much I love YOU but I wanted to show YOU how much.. I think YOU will know this by Now because.. even the People from the Garden has come long ways just to tell YOU.. they have children to give to YOU.. to raise UP the Next Generations of for the Palace.. for the future generations to help you to Conqueror this Nation.. as I am watching YOU.. I see YOU looking at the people by the Fence.. I would raise UP the Sword.. and I would shout Out.. MANSAE!! to Crown Princess.. HOORAY TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. the Seven Friends of Mine picks up their Swords and raise it UP HIGH and Shouts Out.. MANSAE to CROWN PRINCESS.. now the 2nd top rank General Raises UP his Sword and shouts.. MANSAE to HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and the 7 generals raises UP their swords in the air and says.. HOORAY TO CROWN PRINCESS.. and I see you.. the Crown Princess turning to Look at the military soldiers.. and I would raise UP the Sword in my hand.. tears are just streaming down my face.. MANSAE to Crown PRINCESS.. and everyone.. even the People who came from the Garden all raises UP theirs arms crying in tears says.. MANSAE.. HOORAY to Crown Princess.. TO WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. and I see you holding UP the Sword in the Air.. and Everyone shouts Out Loud.. MANSAE to Crown Princess.. HOORAY to HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and My Heart.. It just can't stop beating.. it keeps on beating and beating as I would be Looking at YOU.. as YOU are standing by the Fences.. hands are touching YOU on the sides.. I see you Open the Fences.. and the people from the Garden.. they start to walk in.. Little Children.. boys and girls want to join in to be with YOU as their Crown Princess.. I am looking at YOU.. as YOU are coming closer.. I see you walking and YOU stop.. as I tell YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. Please do not come closer to Me.. I don't want to kiss YOUR hand.. I just can't.. because YOU know my Heart.. Please.. tell me rather to Leave the Palace.. stripe away my title.. and My Position.. I rather Live as a Slave Instead.. I don't deserve to Kiss Your Hand because I know My Heart.. I know How much I love YOU.. that is why I won't.. Please stop there and DO not come closer.. I rather walk away from the Outer Court.. and I would Hear.. the Queen is coming.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and I see you turn the Other way.. the Queen in tears.. coming to Kiss Your Hand.. and I see her lips kiss.. putting YOU in charge of everything.. I would walk the ten Council of Noble Men walking and they all stop behind the Prime Minister of the Nation.. and I see the King.. who is on the Floor.. He is crying.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS of this Nation.. HWANG WOO.. QUEEN.. come to me.. and I see the Queen turn around and she walks to her Husband as She also falls on the Floor.. with tears.. and I am standing there.. each Council of Noble MAN.. walking forward.. each Man comes to Kiss Your Hand.. and I am standing there.. My Heart is truly Touched.. truly Moved.. and I am standing thinking.. WHY can't I kiss Your Hand.. is it because it is My Pride.. WHO am I to tell YOU this.. WHO am I as the Lowly servant.. I am only the Palace Guard.. How can I reject Your Hand.. but It is because I love YOU.. I know that I must kiss but I know if I do.. I become Your Subject.. as I would watch each person kissing Your Hand and they Bow and lower to the Knees.. and LOOKING at the Big Crown on top of Your Head.. now the three of my friends goes over.. and Each of them decides to Kiss Your hand.. I am now standing alone.. if I don't kiss YOUR hand.. I know that I must leave this Palace.. this Outer Courts.. so I would turn to face the Gates.. I know that I must leave.. I just can't stand here any longer.. I just can't kiss Your hand and just become NO ONE to YOU.. and as I behind to walk down by myself.. the Special Body Guard runs.. and He stops me.. putting the Sword in front.. and I turn around and I still see YOU.. YOU just standing there.. with the White Dress.. SO beautiful.. WHY are you stopping Me.. I told you already that YOU are going to be a Great Ruler for the Nation.. Everyone gets on their Knees before YOU.. the Prime Minister.. the Commanders.. Chief Generals.. Generals.. the foot soldiers.. the Ten Council of Noble men.. all the Maid and servant.. EUNCH.. the Highest Kitchen Lady.. the Doctors of the Palace.. all falls before YOU.. shouting Out.. Crown Princess.. MANSAE.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY and Tears are all falling.. saying the Next RULER coming UP and I would look at YOU.. my tears are flowing DOWN.. I am so Sad because HOW can I love YOU now.. LOOK at me.. I can't even do anything.. How can I love YOU now.. YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the CROWN PRINCESS of this Nation.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would fall on both knees and start too weep in Pain.. I am aching because LOOK at me.. WHO AM I to love a CROWN PRINCESS like YOU.. and I am looking at the Ground.. wailing and Weeping loud.. I know that I am wrong.. I know that I should of never started but NOW to turn back.. it is just too late to turn.. I have come long ways of loving YOU.. and I am looking UP at the MOON.. WHY.. WHY did I even come.. if I could of stayed behind.. then It would not hurt me this Much because the Loving YOU always hurt but Now.. it hurts more.. I don't want to lose YOU.. because I know that I love YOU.. as I am would stand UP.. and I look toward the Gate.. and I started to walk.. passing the Gates.. I know that I can't come back.. I will remain as a Slave.. and I started to walk.. but.. this Special Body Guard keeps on following Me.. and Puts his sword to STOP me to go.. and I would turn.. I see YOU walking.. and coming closer as I am stopped by the Gates.. I am wondering.. YOU have everything here.. WHY are you doing this to me.. the more you do this.. the More I will be hurting in inside.. YOU know that I am little.. with such no Power.. I have no strength but YOU have all the strong People around YOU.. who also decided to choose YOU to be the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have all the troops.. even the people all.. I would see the People.. common people.. they all fallen on the Floor.. and People.. the common people.. when they see YOU.. they would shout OUT with the loud VOICE.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and People are on the Floor.. on the knees looking at the ground.. and I am standing here.. SO touched.. winning the Hearts of many people.. in the Palace and Out with the Common people.. YOU have won as the Next and I know that YOU WILL DO great.. that is why Now.. YOU have no need for me to be here.. because YOU have taken the seat to RULE.. and I told YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I will not kiss Your hand.. if YOU are asking me to come.. and be your subject.. and wants me to kiss YOUR HAND.. that is why I rather leave.. I would live in the deep of the forest and into the mountains.. I will not be known to YOU anymore.. and I see YOU coming very closer.. and your hand touch my shoulder Blade.. and I hear the word Stay.. and I turn around to face YOU.. HOW can I stay with YOU
MAH MAH.. Have my own Voice.. my own words to say it and tell it.. as Long as I can love YOU far.. it be hard because I be missing YOU from far.. but at least I can let my Voice be heard to that MOON.. so that It knows my Heart how much I love YOU.. I don't want to be standing here.. very near to YOU unable to speak about or to express.. I just can't live like this.. that is why I rather choose Far.. away and to Say it then.. that is why I am making the decision right Now.. to walk away for love.. I rather be far and to say.. to express it and even it means to speak to that MOON.. I am going to let my VOICE be heard by something or someone.. if it is Not YOU.. I would hear YOU and YOU saying something to Stay.. and the Special Body Guard tells me.. it means I don't have to Kiss Your hand.. and I am shocked.. How can I stay if I don't kiss Your hand.. everyone else has kissed your hand.. But why would you not let Me because I know there are so many eyes looking at Me.. they are going to go against Me if I don't kiss Your hand.. but YOU are telling me to stay and Not to kiss that Hand.. even the King.. PEH HA.. also the Prime Minister.. TAE SA JAH.. and the Queen.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. I just saw with my eyes.. they came to give you that respect and Honor to rule.. and has shown me by kissing YOUR HAND.. even the Biggest people.. the Most important People has chosen to Kiss and has become your Subjects.. So I would fall on both knees before YOU and My Head looks on the floor.. CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I can't go inside because I am breaking the rules of this tradition.. How can YOU tell me to go and the rule is that only by kissing your Hand.. I am admitting it with highly regard and with honor and respect that YOU can rule over Me as Your Subject.. and ALL of the powerful people in that house.. they have come to YOU for you to RULE over them.. but YOU are letting me to slide.. I can't just slide.. I needs to be punish by the Law and needs to be punished severely.. I can't go inside if I do not take this Part of and I see the Three of my Friends coming and they have stopped behind YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the King.. PEH HA.. the QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. they are asking for YOU.. a Banquet is going to be thrown inside.. they have send us to ask for YOU to come.. and I am Looking on the ground.. CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Please go inside.. Your Parents are waiting for YOU and asking for Your presence.. I know that I cannot go inside like this.. and I see YOU.. your hand touches.. telling me to stay.. But.. I know that I must go.. and I would see you turn Your Head.. looking at my three friends and telling them to Go with me.. and I hear YOU say.. come back after.. it is a command YOU gave me.. and I am touched.. WHY would you do this.. WHY do you keep on doing this to Me.. I know that I don't deserve to be treated like THIS.. Punish me severely.. for Making YOU feel because I know that I don't deserve You.. YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I am as low as a servant.. How can YOU treat me if I am from the Most lowest Clan.. the Lowest of all.. I am a son of a servant.. I am still a servant even though I am now a palace Guard.. still at the lowest.. I just can't believe it.. either I should be banned or exile.. I should of been striped and placed in prison.. But WHY are you being so Kind to Me.. WHY are you so Kind when I should be demoted and also lived in the Mountains.. in the caves as servant.. and I see YOU walking and I only see your White Dress as YOU are going inside.. celebrating and having a big feast of Banquet.. I am still on the Floor.. How is it possible for me to still be breathing.. and I would hear the three friends.. and They would help me to get UP on the floor.. and I know that I can go alone.. I want my friends to stay and I will go alone.. never to come back.. but.. they would keep on walking with me.. and together we keep on walking.. I am standing in the training camp.. and I see you coming over from the Fence.. the Big Crown on the Top of your Head.. and the White Dress.. as I see you walk alone.. YOU take my breathe away.. and I can feel my Heart beating so fast.. and as YOU come to meet me in the Center of the training camp.. the New Recruits.. over 200 men are standing by.. as YOU stop.. in my hands is the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I am standing looking at YOU as I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I do not need this any more.. but Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have to always remember that when you were Never around.. this was the Only THING that Held my Heart because whenever I missed YOU.. this was the Only thing that helped me through the way.. When I was left alone for a Long time.. this was the Only thing.. it may Not be anything special to YOU.. It may not be any of the importance to YOU.. YOU may just look at it as a paper.. that someone drew long ago.. and it may only seems like the past piece of Art.. but to Me.. it has many memories of loving YOU.. many Memories of Looking UP at the Moon.. standing Alone in the Nights.. there was SUN.. but also there was the MOON.. there was a time when Winter came by and it be very cold outside.. when times I saw the falling of the rain.. when I lost my Father.. and I felt my Heart broke all the way.. when I could Not see YOU and even the BOY who drew this Picture.. How he had to sneak into the Palace gates and How from the Far he drew YOU.. who got caught and arrested.. He was beaten and Put to death.. telling me that this is for me and knowing that HE wishes that My Dreams came true and that ALL this did Not mean Nothing to Me as he died by the Sword.. Even the Older MAN.. who was the teacher in my Life saw this Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU who knew WHO you are.. but told me to GO.. and to Protect YOU and to defend the Nation which it belongs to YOU and this Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU was the main reason WHY I could go On.. when I was at the Garden.. and I saw YOU there for the first TIME.. I wanted that Boy to draw.. of course I knew it be just too late to call HIM.. when I saw YOU by the gates of the Garden and I walked Out and saw YOU.. I wanted to ask YOU.. Can you Please draw another or Give me another Picture from the Art Sketch.. but.. when YOU left.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Day you left the Garden is when I knew the Only thing I had was this.. and my arms would lift as my hands are Holding the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. it was only this I had because I knew.. I was Not sure if I could ever see YOU again.. when I would see YOU again was my thoughts.. going UP the Hill and standing by the tree below was the Garden and Across I would see the palace.. and Knowing that is the Place where YOU at.. I wanted to Go.. I wanted to be close to YOU.. but what if I am NOT ALLOWED to get in and be put into the Prison instead.. But.. I made UP my mind.. I can die tomorrow and I will say I love YOU.. I can die the few days Later.. as Long there is still a Breathe IN me.. I know I can still Believe in Loving YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. and I do remember leaving the Garden after I made UP my Mind.. in the Snow walking and knowing How cold it was.. and knowing I could die A lot sooner.. I felt the Last Push of my body as I kept on walking through the SNOW.. I was thinking of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am not sure How much More I have in Me.. But I will still try to go to YOU and I kept on walking in the Snow and I felt my body.. it could NOT go no more and I fell down in the Snow.. I kept on thinking of YOU until the last breathe saying I am so sorry I might Not make It.. As I was on the Guard.. watching the Post at Night.. and How I became the Palace guard guarding the back gates.. I do remember pulling the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. and LOOKING.. I been needing to LOOK.. thinking of YOU.. saying to this Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. YOU may not hear my voice be telling YOU but I say it as I look at YOU.. that I love YOU.. do you know How much I love YOU and I would hold the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture close to my Heart.. to my Chest.. I wish that I be holding YOU instead but.. it be this paper instead.. someone telling me that Behind me is the Chamber of Your ROOM.. and I remember I turn back to LOOK.. I saw YOU.. looking Out from the patio of the Chamber of Your ROOM.. the MOON was Out.. I would LOOK UP at.. I would say MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. can YOU see me.. I am here and it has been such a Long time coming.. and Now.. I know that I do Not need this Piece of Paper.. the Art Sketch paper any more.. I want to see YOU take this from Me.. Now I am here close to YOU.. I told the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. Once I meet YOU.. I can Now send it away and give it to YOU because it belongs to YOU.. it has come to the right Person WHO I love the Most.. so Please take this from Me because I am giving YOU my Heart.. My Heart is in it because it is YOU who I never forgotten.. and I see YOU LOOKING at me.. as I am on two Knees.. My Head is Looking on the floor.. my arms raise with the Paper.. the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. Please take this From me because I don't need it any more.. why do I need it when I see YOU here.. there is NO POINT for me to have because it is YOU.. I see your hands take the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and my tears.. it starts to flow Out of both eyes of me
Oink Oink.. I am walking into the Garden.. I have your picture with Me and I stop.. I am looking around.. wanting to see what Flowers looks as Beautiful AS you are.. in this Garden.. I wish that YOU can be here with Me.. I am here alone in the Garden.. will you ever walk next with me and see the kind of Garden I love and the Flowers I wish that YOU can pick.. can you choose a Flower for me so that I can Pick many of those Flowers YOU love.. I want to give you a Dozen.. How about two Dozens of Flowers.. How about More Dozens of Flowers.. WILL you be tired or get sick tired of those Flowers I pick and send it to YOU.. if YOU do.. that is why I have with me the Glass Jar.. this Empty Glass Jar.. walking with your Picture in my hand.. with the Glass Jar on the Other hand in the Garden.. Please.. come to the Garden and Choose a Flower for me.. as I am standing in the Garden.. I sit on the Ground.. and I am looking for something that NEEDS to be here with me.. can I ask of YOU.. YOUR HEART.. I am wondering.. can YOU please give me Your Heart.. I know that it is YOUR HEART I need to take to this Garden.. if your eyes can get tired or get sick and tired of Flowers.. more than 3 Dozens of Flowers I be sending your way.. then maybe I needs to change a direction and before Your Eyes can take a LOOK at the Garden.. before You see the Dozens of Flowers.. before YOU PICK a Flowers in the Garden.. I want to ask does YOUR HEART love Flowers.. then let me please take YOUR HEART with me.. Let me please have your Heart so that I can know if YOU LOVE Flowers.. before I want to take and introduce YOU to the Garden I love.. I want Your Heart.. I need Your Heart.. I want to feel Your Heart.. can I touch YOUR HEART first.. I am awaken by the Sound of something.. and My Head is laying on the TOP of the Desk.. I lift my Head UP and I look at the Piece of paper.. this paper has a drawing.. I don't remember but I think I drew Your Heart.. also a coloring of Pink Heart.. and I would smile.. on the Corner of the Desk is the Picture Frame and inside the Picture Frame is picture of YOU.. I am looking at it.. YOU are smiling so Big and SO Beautiful YOU are.. arms around a TEDDY BEAR.. just missing YOU.. I think it was a Dream.. but I am Looking down at the Piece of Paper.. thinking.. when did I draw this.. it is a Heart.. and I know that It is Your Heart that I wish to Have.. I really want YOUR HEART.. I really Need Your Heart.. I am dreaming of your Heart because I want to love YOU.. HOW can I love you without loving Your Heart first.. it has been coming into my Mind and Heart lately that I needs to have your Heart. as I am sitting on this chair.. by the desk thinking of.. on the right side is the Empty Bottle with a shot Glass.. on the left side is the Empty Glass Jar.. trying to put all this together.. I know it was last Night.. I was sitting here last Night.. and trying to figure Out what has happened.. of course My Head hurts.. that shows me I was drinking last night.. if I was drinking to get drunk.. and I would close both my eyes.. and Last Night.. I would walk into the ROOM.. and I pull out the chair.. and I would be LOOKING at the Bottle.. and POPPING the Lid Open.. pouring into the Shot Glass.. my Heart be burning Me.. WHY is my Heart be Burning inside.. I am LOOKING down.. the Piece of paper.. a Heart.. and coloring with PINK.. and I stop coloring.. it is Complete.. but the Heart.. it is ONLY a Piece of paper.. why can't this be Your Real Heart.. I need this Heart.. and I turn my head looking at the Corner.. LOOKING at your Picture inside the Picture Frame.. I need your Heart.. because then I can't get to YOU.. if only I can have your Real Heart.. would that help me for YOU to come a Little Closer.. Please tell me.. Please Help me.. say something so that I know it is the right way I am going.. I want to take you to the Garden.. WHY can't you go to the Garden with Me.. I am missing YOU.. if we both can go to the Garden I know that I can make you more happier.. there will be NO NEED but for me to show YOU one thing.. that is LOVE.. I can show you Much More than just.. but if I take you to that Garden.. if You can only go to the garden with Me.. I may not make you happy but YOU just will be happier.. I will just stand next to YOU to see you Happier.. only that happiness I want to give if YOU come to the Garden with me.. BABY, Let me take you to the Garden so that I can show YOU my Heart more.. as I am looking at the Picture inside the Picture Frame.. and I turn too LOOK down at the Paper.. the Drawing of Your Heart.. I love that it has color.. before it use to be Black and White but I bought a Color Pink and NOW.. I am able to LOOK at the Drawing of this Heart and It is so Beautiful.. such a Lovely Beautiful Heart.. if I look at this Heart of Yours.. CAN YOU Hear Me.. can I tell YOU that I love YOU.. if I tell YOU that I love YOU.. can YOU Hear me again.. I must voiced it Out Loud.. but what happens if YOU can't hear me.. am I doing all this for Nothing because I am putting just too much of My Heart into it because I LOVE YOU.. I Love you More.. and sorry that I must say this.. I love YOU.. but LOOKING at this Piece of paper.. the Heart is Not real.. but I am real.. My Heart is real.. telling you this from my Heart is real as it can be.. telling YOU that I love you is so real.. but can YOU receive it when I am telling you by looking at this Piece of paper.. drawing of your Heart with the Color Pink.. I am looking at the Shot Glass.. the Liquor is filled UP on this Glass shot.. my hand grabs the shot glass and I open my Mouth and slams into my mouth.. I close both eyes.. and I open it.. this Burning sensational as it Hits me to the Hardest.. I turn to look at the Bottle.. it is NOW empty.. I just could not stop taking shots.. just looking at your Picture in this Picture Frame.. LOOKING at the Paper.. the Drawing of Your Heart.. I wish that It be alive.. that I can Hold this Heart.. Hold in my arms.. and I would hold your Heart.. and let it rest on me as I speak to your Heart.. I be saying I am so sorry that I be drinking.. DO you not know how it hurts me to stay sober sometimes.. It is hard to be alive with the straight Mind.. or Sober Mind when I am thinking of YOU.. constantly I think of YOU day and Night.. it drives me mad.. it drives me crazy sometimes.. I get confused if it is day or night sometimes because YOU are always on my Mind.. I wish that YOU can be in my shoes for just One day.. if YOU come over and we can switch places.. and YOU are able to be Me for just One Day.. and WE Switch ourselves Back.. YOU can truly understand and relate what I am going through daily.. that is why some times I needs to grab me this Bottle.. this Hard whiskey comes Once in a while.. when My Heart be hurting inside.. because I be missing YOU.. I am asking YOU let me take you to the Garden.. where I can Love you More.. I can share with you more HOW much I love YOU.. it is NOT about HOW many money or how much money because I am speaking of Love.. I am sharing to YOU about Me loving YOU.. if Money was involved.. I do not think I can do this at all.. but to Love YOU is from MY Heart.. which is properly given freely to Love YOU.. that is why I want to share this Garden with YOU.. a Place where I can really be just me and to show YOU these Flowers.. but I will take you to the Garden soon but for right NOW.. I needs to know can I have your Heart. without Your Heart with Me.. I can't take you to the Garden.. that is why I even brought this Piece of paper.. wanting your Heart so bad with me that I drew with a sketch pencil.. and also PINK is the color of Your Heart.. turning to LOOK at the Corner is the Picture frame.. I put your Picture inside this Picture frame because the Moment I have your Picture.. my fingers traces.. my hands grab Hold unto.. I just need your Picture and would not leave it alone.. so I had to put your Picture into the Frame so that It be only the eyes can look and just love looking at YOU.. I am dying inside because it is YOU.. I am dying inside to Love YOU more.. I can cut through my own Heart to show YOU that I am dying because I love YOU.. if I can show you the Blood.. the Blood that pours out of the Heart which means it is dying and my arms to Hold YOU.. Have you ever Loved before.. do YOU even know what it means to Love.. I know so well.. that YOU feel like I am just dying.. dying to go to the grave for YOU.. to Die because I love YOU.. as I turn to look at the Glass Jar.. it is the Empty Glass Jar.. I would grab the Piece of paper.. the Drawing of your Heart with the color Pink and put inside the Glass Jar.. but.. I would pull the Piece of paper.. the Drawing of your Heart color Pink Out.. and just wish that it be Your Real Heart.. my arms stretches and Holds around the Glass Jar.. and I would lean my Head touching the Glass.. I really Need it to be YOU.. YOUR Heart.. why can't I put your Heart in here.. can YOU please help me.. Help me so that I want to see your Heart so that I know that it can be as real as it can be.. that I know that by NOW.. I can really start loving YOU.. HOW can I love you when YOUR Heart is Not in it.. I do not want no fake Love.. I want it to be a real LOVE just the way I am telling YOU that MY HEART is real as it can be.. I want it.. I need It to be true.. I need it so that I know that FINALLY I can start to Love YOU.. NO MORE delaying because I need to know it Now.. I need to know it because I been loving YOU for such a LONG TIME NOW.. as I lift UP my head away from the GLASS of the Glass jar.. I see nothing but just an empty Glass Jar.. both eyes fills.. I just can't believe it because I want to see it.. can I imagine YOUR HEART inside.. but even using my own imagination I still don't see your Heart.. I want the Heart.. YOUR HEART.. Please give me your Heart because I need to tell YOU something
MAH MAH.. I am looking at the 2nd Line Top General.. and I am holding the sword.. and I would run and I jump into the Air with the Sword in my hand and swing Forward.. the Blades hit each other.. as he would swing the Sword back at me.. I land on the ground.. and I turn to Look back.. and I would jump back Kick and I would swing the Sword in my hand.. the Blades Hit each Other.. he does a front Kick and Hits my chest.. and I fall on the ground.. as I see my Sword next to me.. the Seven Friends of mine are in the back.. they would all Pull out the swords to Fight.. but I would grab the sword and raising UP the right Arm.. the swords goes back into the sheath and as I turn to LOOK at YOU behind.. YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. who are standing along side with the Seven friends of Mine.. I get UP slowly.. and the 2nd top Line general is standing with his Men.. the Generals and they are all smiling as I get UP slowly.. I have Lost before to this Man.. this Time.. I just can't Lose this Battle.. and I would grab the Sword.. and I would run UP and the 2nd rank General grabs his Sword and WE swing the Swords at each other.. Blades Hit and Hit.. I can hear the sound of the CLANG of the blade of the swords Hitting.. and I would go back as the 2nd rank General moves forward swinging the sword at me.. I would Counter block as the Blades Hit and I would duck and sweep the Leg and he falls to the ground.. the Seven Friends of Mine raises UP the Swords shouting.. and I jump into the Air with the Sword.. ready to Stab but I stop.. we are in the same Team.. How can we fight against each other.. the Seven Generals would all pull out their swords and they circle AROUND ME.. I see YOU walking forward.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. YOU pull out the Sword and YOU Point.. the Generals all put their Swords Down.. and I would Put the sword Down as well.. the 2nd Top rank General gets UP on the Floor.. and Puts the sword Down.. and He kneels.. and two Knees goes.. and I just can't believe this.. In front of the CROWN PRINCESS.. In front of the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. we are fighting for Nothing.. for What and I would kneel.. two knees on the floor.. head looks down.. arm raise up forward.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. and I see you stop.. with the Big Crown on top of the Head.. wearing the white Dress and YOU would look at the 2nd Top rank General.. and His head Looks on the ground.. with the Seven Generals.. they all fall down before YOU.. two knees and raises UP the voices.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. We are so Sorry for this.. and the Seven friends of Mine.. they all fall before YOU.. two knees.. Heads all look on the ground.. arms raises UP forward.. saluting as the TOP Commander.. and I see you Pointing the sword at me.. and I would say.. We have a History.. of having a Bad Blood against.. I remember when I first came to the training Camp.. and the Guard would say to HIM when He was just a general.. that I learned from the Old Man.. the master.. which NO ONE believed Me.. of course NO ONE will believe me.. and HE wanted me to prove that I was really His student learning from a teacher.. so.. I do remember we fought on the training Ground.. I lost using the wooden stick sword.. and he was very good.. and when I was struck Down by the WOOD STICK.. HE saw me on the ground and I couldn't get back UP.. started to Laugh at me and spit at me.. telling me that I am a Liar.. I been holding this grudge for a Long time.. that I know that One day we will meet and today is the day.. of course I never thought I would put him to the floor.. but I knew.. if I can't Now.. I will never if I let him go.. but.. I saw Your Face.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I saw YOU standing by and In my Heart.. we are under the same Nation.. YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. and He is also a part of Your Solider.. How can I fight someone who is with YOU.. that is when I saw YOU.. I saw the Big Crown on the top of your Head and started to think.. these are YOUR MEN.. they all belong to YOU.. as the ruler for this Nation.. for this Country.. How can I dare to put a sword to HIS FACE when HE is also a HIGH ranking Officer.. and I realize How fool I have become because I know myself.. HOW Little I am and How Little I must Be.. because I am very small.. that is the Only way I got here today because I started so Small.. WHO am I.. and what am I doing.. and I see YOU looking at me.. I see you putting down the sword.. and I have tears in my eyes.. I do not want to hurt any one.. but if there is a war who is against YOU CROWN PRINCESS.. even though I want Peace and Harmony and Unity and Joy with LOVE.. if someone wants to mess with YOU and YOUR NATION.. your people.. I will fight if I have too.. I will never back DOWN on a fight when it comes to YOU WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. and your hands touch my hands.. and I just can't believe it.. YOU are the Crown Princess.. WHY would you hold my hands.. why would you touch my hands for.. and I am looking towards the Fence.. I just can't believe my eyes.. and I am looking at children.. Little Boys are walking.. holding hands with their Mothers and Fathers and they stop by the Fences.. and More People are coming as they are stopping by the Fences.. and I am looking.. and I recognize one of them.. there is a man.. and he is around my age.. and I do remember he was a friend growing UP in the garden.. are those people common people from the Garden.. and the Sons.. the Boys are holding little Sticks in their Hands and I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. as YOU turn around to LOOK back at the Fences.. and people.. thousands of People who lived in the Garden comes and they all Lower.. face to the ground and they shout.. Please teach Our Sons to fight.. Please teach our daughters to COOK for the Palace.. and my Heart.. I would start to cry more and More.. tears are shedding down hard.. the Night YOU came.. you gave the People their freedom.. many people who were dirt poor had NO HOMES.. medical treatments.. and HOW you called the people from the ROYAL PALACE to go to the Garden.. and How you made the Place a New.. I believe some of the People thought about YOU MAH MAH.. and Now.. LOOK.. look at these People with children.. and Now.. they want to join and repay the debt they had because of you Crown Princess.. the Heart to Love even the MOST UNLOVED people in this world.. THEY just want to pay it back.. Just Like Me.. DO you see My Heart Now.. CROWN PRINCESS.. can you see the Heart that I have for this Nation.. for YOU and Your People.. and the Little Boys are raising UP the Sticks in the air wanting to be a part of the large gathering to Fight for the Nation.. the LITTLE BOYS can grow UP with a Future that Only YOU can give.. because NOW they have come.. LOOK at all those little Children.. they are standing by the Fences.. wanting to JOIN in the Military arts.. as YOU would turn to LOOK at them.. I would say.. this is why I started to Love YOU.. it was the Day when YOU came to the Garden.. People in the Garden had NO HOPES and NO DREAMS.. just POOR.. NO future.. where can the Most Lowest People go.. they do NOWHERE.. I do remember the Day YOU came to the Garden.. from ALL the Places in the world YOU could GO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. from all the Places YOU can Go you came to the Garden.. I am sure the Ones WHO came from the Garden Knows my Heart.. they can relate because we have NO future.. but I have a future with HOPES and DREAMS of Protecting YOU and also defending for this Nation.. and I see YOU walking towards the Fences.. the People would be staying on the ground.. crying as YOU would walk forward.. they like me just wants a chance.. a chance to share something that YOU can bring into their Lives that it will matter for this.. and I am looking on the ground.. Head looking down.. I am wiping my tears with the Arm.. I just can't believe.. the Best friend I grew UP with.. He comes with a SON.. and He wants His SON to join in the Military Arts.. Looking at Me.. and yes.. I will teach that SON of his.. because I know what it means coming from Nothing.. Having Nothing to Lose.. I have Nothing.. BUT YOU gave me a chance.. CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it was just that ONE chance I truly needed from YOU.. I think back at the Garden.. walking Out of the gates.. I see you ON the Horse.. sitting on the Horse.. and these ROYAL People comes to the Garden.. many sick and dying.. people were so hungry and had nothing to Eat.. no Homes to live.. but YOU came.. rebuilding that Garden and giving People to dream.. I remember after I saw YOU.. and I was touched.. I wanted to give YOU the Flower.. in my hand was One flower that I had.. there was Nothing that I could of give YOU but just that One.. what can a Poor Boy living as homeless can give.. from my Mother's grave.. a Bed of Flower.. a SUN FLOWER was blooming.. I grabbed that and I wanted to say.. YOU are like this FLOWER to me.. as Bright as the SUN.. when you think of a FLOWER.. it just melts YOUR HEART.. it makes you smile as IT melts as you keep on looking at it.. as I saw that Flower.. I remember I ran.. and I saw YOU on the Horse.. and I gave it to YOU.. I did Not think that the CROWN PRINCESS would take a Flower from Me.. but I watched.. many people who were hungry and dying.. the sick.. and homeless people.. the Crown PRINCESS has the BIGGEST Heart.. YOU may not know it then but NOW.. LOOK at the Fences.. the People who came from the Garden are here and they want to JOIN with YOU.. LOOK WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH
MAH MAH.. Raise UP the Next Generations of for the Palace.. for the future generations to help you to Conqueror this Nation.. as I am watching YOU.. I see YOU looking at the people by the Fence.. I would raise UP the Sword.. and I would shout Out.. MANSAE!! to Crown Princess.. HOORAY TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. the Seven Friends of Mine picks up their Swords and raise it UP HIGH and Shouts Out.. MANSAE to CROWN PRINCESS.. now the 2nd top rank General Raises UP his Sword and shouts.. MANSAE to HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and the 7 generals raises UP their swords in the air and says.. HOORAY TO CROWN PRINCESS.. and I see you.. the Crown Princess turning to Look at the military soldiers.. and I would raise UP the Sword in my hand.. tears are just streaming down my face.. MANSAE to Crown PRINCESS.. and everyone.. even the People who came from the Garden all raises UP theirs arms crying in tears says.. MANSAE.. HOORAY to Crown Princess.. TO WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. and I see you holding UP the Sword in the Air.. and Everyone shouts Out Loud.. MANSAE to Crown Princess.. HOORAY to HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and My Heart.. It just can't stop beating.. it keeps on beating and beating as I would be Looking at YOU.. as YOU are standing by the Fences.. hands are touching YOU on the sides.. I see you Open the Fences.. and the people from the Garden.. they start to walk in.. Little Children.. boys and girls want to join in to be with YOU as their Crown Princess.. MAH MAH.. I want to see you Success.. My Heart as the Loyal Slave.. as the Servant.. as the Low Born which My Father was the Head of the Servant.. as I am sitting in the Small room.. the Older Man.. the Teacher gave me a small table and I am with a Paper.. with the Ink I would write to the Crown Princess.. MAH MAH.. I have been living in this Place.. the Older man who has become my Teacher has told me that He wanted me as the Son.. so I have become his adopted Son.. and He has been teaching me for Years.. and I would be looking at the Pen Brush and dip into the Ink Pot.. I have never stopped dreaming of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I have been practicing the Art of Swordsmanship.. and Also the Archer Shooting.. the Older man who has become the Teacher.. He would spend Hours helping me to learn this Military Arts and has told me to write a Letter to the Crown Princess.. so I am about to leave this Place with the Official Letter which was sealed with his Stamp allowing me to step Out and go forward.. telling me that through the Years.. He has watched me grow my skills of the Art of swordsmanship and the practice tactic of the Military Arts and with this Official Letter seal that I am able to pass over and go into the Training Camp without going into the training ground.. He has revealed to me that He was an EX COMMANDER for the King.. he was at the Most Highest Place in the ranking of the Office in the Palace and showed me the sword of which He has won many Battles for YOUR FATHER the KING PEH HA.. I was shocked when I found this Out because He showed me the Sword.. which he took many lives and He knew my Grand father who was also the Chief General.. who also became the Commander and was Brothers in War and together they led many Victories in the Battles when Enemies rose against the Nation.. the Teacher told me.. the Older Man who is my teacher told me that I must Protect YOU.. and also Needed to defend because HE remembers you.. He knows my father who was the Head servant and saw YOU when YOU were Young with my Grandfather and knew.. Later down the Line.. Both would say.. the COMMANDERS would say YOU are going to rule.. that YOU are going to be the Head of the Nation.. that YOU are the next in Line to be at the RULING SPOT.. that YOU are going to be the QUEEN KING.. the Ruler who rules it all.. and when the Older man.. the Teacher saw me with the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing of YOU.. he looked at me and asked.. and I told the Teacher.. the Older man who you are.. I told Him.. I love YOU.. and that the reason why I am here.. and that the reason why I am going to you has never changed in my heart but keeps Loving YOU.. the Older man.. the teacher said to me.. CROWN PRINCESS right.. I told him.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I sat next to HIM and told him the story of How I saw YOU.. where I met YOU.. and it was at the Garden.. and how you came to visit the Garden One Night.. I already had Your Picture then.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I heard the men servants walking.. with the Many Foot soldiers.. the Special Body Guards and the Guards who all came that night.. I heard a Voice.. I was in the Garden Looking at the Bed of Flowers.. and I heard a Noise.. a shouting and there was a gate I would open to LOOK.. sitting on the Horse.. YOU were wearing a White Dress.. I was holding the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. but did Not know that it was YOU.. the MEN Servants looks at me.. the Crown Princess.. and I just could not believe.. from the Palace.. who is going to rule and be the Head over the Nation.. I am at the Most Lowest Place.. the SON of the Head servant.. and I fell down on my face DOWN and I would say MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am so sorry I did not Know who YOU are.. and the Guards rush and fell on fours and Your Legs on the back of a Guards.. the maid servants who came to rush for your hands and helps you to walk.. every one went FACE DOWN to the Ground.. I just could not believe it.. why would you come to this Garden.. it is only for the Poor and the Lowest people who lives here.. why would you care for people who are born into the Most lowest comes to a shabby place.. I felt my Heart.. My Heart started to beat so fast.. and I saw YOU stand and stopped next to me.. the maid servant tells me that I can raise UP.. and I was able to stand before YOU.. YOU are so beautiful.. and One hand I had a Flower.. the Other hand is the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and your eyes were looking at both hands so I would raise it up to show you.. YOU looked at the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. the Maid servant looks at me.. and the eyes told me I can be in danger because of this.. and I remember I told YOU this very night.. if I have offended you HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU want me to rip this Art Sketch paper into pieces.. I can do it for YOU.. if you want me to be Locked in Prison and I die for this.. I can die for YOU.. before you make up your Mind to do something please let me share something from my Heart.. I am Not afraid to Die.. I am always ready to die.. I will anyways die either Now or Later but I still will die.. but one thing that I wanted to say.. I been loving YOU for a while Now.. it may not be much to YOU but this is ALL I have to have to Love.. if you want to Lock me UP now.. Please CROWN PRINCESS.. Lock me UP now.. and I saw YOU just looking at me and gave me a smile.. and I remember you wanted me to see the Garden.. and that was the day I would walk next to YOU to give you a tour of this Garden.. which it was to show YOU in the first place.. I told my Father when he was alive that I wanted to do something to this Garden.. and showing my Father the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. that I know that the Crown Princess may stop by one day.. HE looked at me like I am very crazy.. I would beg my father to help me to making this Garden to be a special Place.. what if the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH shows UP.. I believe the Crown Princess will come.. and My Father who was alive at that time laughs at me.. the ROYALITY and the Palace Life.. this is a SHABBY Place.. only for the Poorest People stay here and I would cry before HIM asking HIM.. to Help me to rebuild this Garden.. I know that the Crown Princess.. as I saw YOU with the White Dress.. I would stand with in awe and My lines of tears ran down because YOU did Come.. I just could not believe that It would happen because it just Can't but that Night.. the Night MAH MAH came.. I fell in love with YOU harder because that is when I knew.. you also cared about the poor people.. the Lowest of lives who lives here.. people who has no place to stay or to live.. as the gates OPENED and I would walk with YOU next to me.. the Crown Princess.. I just knew that YOU were so Special.. that YOU were so different because YOU even came here.. the POOR people all came Out.. NO HOMES.. living in straw homes.. people were dirty and smelly.. and I lived with these people.. but when YOU showed UP.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and YOU looked around.. and people all came crying.. and they fell on the Face Down.. MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH and I fell on the Face on the Ground and I started to SOBB.. crying and pouring out from my Heart.. and I was thinking about my Father.. if you came a little earlier.. My Father could of believed Me because he left to another place.. and I just could Not believe to see your Big Heart for these kinds of people.. the Lowly people.. and I would be thinking about this past as I am sharing to the Older Man.. the teacher.. and I would put the Ink Brush down after I wrote you a Letter to take.. the Older Man.. the Teacher looks at me.. and telling me it is time for me to Go and I know that I must go to Protect YOU.. to stay by your Side.. to be close to YOU.. to show YOU that I am there to watch YOU to succeed to the Highest Place.. to see YOU at the TOP SPOT.. and the Older man.. the Teacher gives me His sword.. and gives me
MAH MAH.. Head down and Arm straight forward.. I just can't believe.. thinking of the Older man.. the Teacher.. who taught me everything.. swinging swords and defending.. and when I told the past story of How you came to the garden to the Poorest People living in the Garden.. and he started to cry.. That is why YOU are going to RULE the Nation.. that is why YOU are going to be the NeXT BIG RULER.. because YOU love and care for the people.. and my tears started to fall hitting on the Ground.. I saw YOU walking down.. from the distance.. and How much I missed YOU.. and it was so Long since the last when we were young.. I remember at the Garden.. you saw the People.. POOR children walking and YOU looked around and people gathered around YOU.. sick people came too.. and I heard you telling.. to rebuild this Garden.. and I stood.. face down to the ground and kept on crying.. and Now.. I know the true reason why I loved YOU and still loving YOU keeps on growing stronger each day passes by.. it is because YOU care and love.. even the broken people.. even a LOW person like myself.. I.. my Words are so speechless Now.. My Words can't come Out right now.. and I lifted UP my Head and I looked straight.. there is guard siting at the Table.. who is telling the MEN to go.. that it is finished.. and has to wait for the Next Year around.. as I am looking at the Two Letters.. and the Friend who is with me.. My Heart breaks.. I really wanted to see YOU Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I really wanted to tell you who I am.. the boy you saw at the Garden.. I have grown Now and came to protect and to defend YOU.. NOW I must have to go back and wait another year.. and as I would turn to walk away.. a Guard runs and stops Me with the friend.. and I would show the Guard the Official Stamp Letter.. the Seal from the COMMANDER who was the CHIEF in the military Arts.. and the Guard just could not believe the seal.. and He ran with the Official Seals.. and YOU were standing by the table.. and the Guard shows YOU.. the Letter and the Official Letter seal.. and YOU do know this Commander.. He was at the TOP of his TIME.. who was protecting YOUR FATHER the KING.. PEH HA.. the Guard comes to get me and the friend.. and We both would walk behind the Guard.. and I lifted UP my Head and I see YOU there.. I see you standing and waiting by the table.. and I started to cry.. showing YOU the JOY and the sorrows and It has been such a Long time.. but YOU are so Beautiful.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. you are so Beautiful.. I am standing in the training camp.. and I see you coming over from the Fence.. the Big Crown on the Top of your Head.. and the White Dress.. as I see you walk alone.. YOU take my breathe away.. and I can feel my Heart beating so fast.. and as YOU come to meet me in the Center of the training camp.. the New Recruits.. over 200 men are standing by.. as YOU stop.. in my hands is the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I am standing looking at YOU as I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I do not need this any more.. but Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have to always remember that when you were Never around.. this was the Only THING that Held my Heart because whenever I missed YOU.. this was the Only thing that helped me through the way.. When I was left alone for a Long time.. this was the Only thing.. it may Not be anything special to YOU.. It may not be any of the importance to YOU.. YOU may just look at it as a paper.. that someone drew long ago.. and it may only seems like the past piece of Art.. but to Me.. it has many memories of loving YOU.. many Memories of Looking UP at the Moon.. standing Alone in the Nights.. there was SUN.. but also there was the MOON.. there was a time when Winter came by and it be very cold outside.. when times I saw the falling of the rain.. when I lost my Father.. and I felt my Heart broke all the way.. when I could Not see YOU and even the BOY who drew this Picture.. How he had to sneak into the Palace gates and How from the Far he drew YOU.. who got caught and arrested.. He was beaten and Put to death.. telling me that this is for me and knowing that HE wishes that My Dreams came true and that ALL this did Not mean Nothing to Me as he died by the Sword.. Even the Older MAN.. who was the teacher in my Life saw this Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU who knew WHO you are.. but told me to GO.. and to Protect YOU and to defend the Nation which it belongs to YOU and this Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU was the main reason WHY I could go On.. when I was at the Garden.. and I saw YOU there for the first TIME.. I wanted that Boy to draw.. of course I knew it be just too late to call HIM.. when I saw YOU by the gates of the Garden and I walked Out and saw YOU.. I wanted to ask YOU.. Can you Please draw another or Give me another Picture from the Art Sketch.. but.. when YOU left.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Day you left the Garden is when I knew the Only thing I had was this.. and my arms would lift as my hands are Holding the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. it was only this I had because I knew.. I was Not sure if I could ever see YOU again.. when I would see YOU again was my thoughts.. going UP the Hill and standing by the tree below was the Garden and Across I would see the palace.. and Knowing that is the Place where YOU at.. I wanted to Go.. I wanted to be close to YOU.. but what if I am NOT ALLOWED to get in and be put into the Prison instead.. But.. I made UP my mind.. I can die tomorrow and I will say I love YOU.. I can die the few days Later.. as Long there is still a Breathe IN me.. I know I can still Believe in Loving YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. and I do remember leaving the Garden after I made UP my Mind.. in the Snow walking and knowing How cold it was.. and knowing I could die A lot sooner.. I felt the Last Push of my body as I kept on walking through the SNOW.. I was thinking of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am not sure How much More I have in Me.. But I will still try to go to YOU and I kept on walking in the Snow and I felt my body.. it could NOT go no more and I fell down in the Snow.. I kept on thinking of YOU until the last breathe saying I am so sorry I might Not make It.. As I was on the Guard.. watching the Post at Night.. and How I became the Palace guard guarding the back gates.. I do remember pulling the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. and LOOKING.. I been needing to LOOK.. thinking of YOU.. saying to this Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. YOU may not hear my voice be telling YOU but I say it as I look at YOU.. that I love YOU.. do you know How much I love YOU and I would hold the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture close to my Heart.. to my Chest.. I wish that I be holding YOU instead but.. it be this paper instead.. someone telling me that Behind me is the Chamber of Your ROOM.. and I remember I turn back to LOOK.. I saw YOU.. looking Out from the patio of the Chamber of Your ROOM.. the MOON was Out.. I would LOOK UP at.. I would say MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. can YOU see me.. I am here and it has been such a Long time coming.. and Now.. I know that I do Not need this Piece of Paper.. the Art Sketch paper any more.. I want to see YOU take this from Me.. Now I am here close to YOU.. I told the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. Once I meet YOU.. I can Now send it away and give it to YOU because it belongs to YOU.. it has come to the right Person WHO I love the Most.. so Please take this from Me because I am giving YOU my Heart.. My Heart is in it because it is YOU who I never forgotten.. and I see YOU LOOKING at me.. as I am on two Knees.. My Head is Looking on the floor.. my arms raise with the Paper.. the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. Please take this From me because I don't need it any more.. why do I need it when I see YOU here.. there is NO POINT for me to have because it is YOU.. I see your hands take the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and my tears.. it starts to flow Out of both eyes of me.. I can finally let that Piece of Paper GO and allow the Boy to finally rest in Piece.. the Seven Friends of Mine would walk together and they would all stand Behind.. the two Knees and Heads look on the floor.. arms straight Out.. and I see YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. Now One of the Guards comes and has a Torch in the Hand and Gives to YOU.. and I see YOU Burn it with the Fire and It becomes the Ashes before my eyes.. I just can't believe It.. and as I see YOU looking down.. I see you with a SMILE.. and I smile back because it means everything to Me.. YOU are truly everything to Me.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH means everything to me.. and I hear something.. I hear foot steps walking.. and I see you Crown Princess turn Around and Comes.. the 2nd Rank General is coming.. and there is Seven Other Lower Generals walking behind Him and the Eight stops next to YOU.. the 2nd RANK General with the seven generals all goes to the two Knees.. Heads all lowers looking to the floor.. Arms come out straight forward.. and I see YOU LOOKING at HIM.. pulling Out your Sword.. the 2nd Rank General speaks to YOU and it is about Me.. and How he knows me.. He has beaten me before.. and Now.. wants to fight me.. and YOU would turn to LOOK at me.. and Point the sword at Me.. I lift UP my Head and I look over.. and I DO remember.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. I will accept the Challenge.. and I see YOU walk back and as I am looking
MAH MAH.. Table looks and YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I just can't believe that it is YOU.. and as YOU stand by the table.. YOU look at the two Letters.. one is the Official Seal with a Stamp of the Name of the OLDER MAN.. the Commander of the King.. PEH HA.. and the Other is the written Letter from Me giving to YOU through the years what I had to deal to get to YOU.. and I see you reading the Letter.. the New Friend was with me and He also gives the Official Seal with the stamp of his Father.. the Commander and I am holding the Sword of my Grand father and the Friend is holding His Father's sword and YOU look at the two swords and YOU look at the Guard to let us inside.. and I just cannot believe it.. it has been this Long.. and Now I am here.. I am at the Camp.. this training camp Only the YOUNG NEW RECRUITS can pass the exam of the military Arts.. but by the seal.. the official Seal and stamp.. and I would fall.. both on my two knees.. with the New Friend.. both on the two Knees.. heads are looking on the ground.. and arms straight forward.. CROWN PRINCESS.. we are here.. have made it to the Camp.. I thought I had to wait another Year.. but even Next year would be NO Promise.. since the Line is so Long.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. I just wanted to say thank YOU.. and I see YOU stand.. in your hands are the Official Seals and stamps.. as YOU would pull out the sword and Point to me.. I would lift UP my Head and I turn to LOOK at YOU and I would say.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. why did YOU not come to the Garden.. DO you know that I been waiting for YOU at that Garden.. I know that YOU are Busy.. because YOU are going to be the RULER.. the Next to RULE in the Line for this Nation.. but YOU could of visited.. YOU could of come to the Garden because I was missing YOU.. I was waiting for YOU.. Do you know How it feels to be waiting and waiting but YOU never came.. YOU have done so Much for the Garden I was staying.. there were people who came from the Nobles.. I saw the ROYAL Doctors and even the Chief Royal Doctors and who was able to save so Many lives.. the condition of the Poor people who were dying.. But it is because YOU came.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is because YOU came to look at the Garden instead and saw the Poverty of the People's lives and has chosen to do what is right for the People.. I saw the Builders from the Royal Palace that YOU send.. even People who were about to make something from the Woods and has turned the Garden into a Whole New Place.. I saw a WHOLE NEW WORLD because it was YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. who rescued the Broken and Lost.. the Poor people and has rebuild everything into something New.. I saw re building of the Garden.. I wanted to see YOU.. Crown Princess.. I wanted to see YOU.. I would wonder.. where is the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. without YOU it would never been re build at that Garden.. Lives changed because YOU came.. sick people became healthy and they started to eat well.. Planters and farmers came together.. giving a New Life of meaning to Live.. I sat.. and I was looking for YOU.. But YOU never came.. because YOU did Not come back to the Garden.. and I wanted to say something., say thank YOU.. but YOU never came that is NOW I have come.. NOW I have come to protect YOU and to defend YOU.. LOOK at the Official Seal.. and LOOK at the Stamp on the Paper I gave YOU WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Older MAN.. the Teacher who taught me for Many Years.. He told me that He fought for this Nation.. with My Grand father.. together as Brothers At War.. they both joined hands together and has protected your Father.. the KING PEH HA.. He is the One who taught me through these years of the Art of Swordsmanship and to shoot arrows and TOLD me stories of the Battles He had to face.. many died by the Sword of His with my Grand father's sword too.. protecting this NATION and to protect.. the Teacher knows that I loved YOU.. I showed HIM the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I showed him that Picture.. drawing picture and that I wanted to be the ONE to protect YOU and to defend the Nation.. and the Older man.. the Teacher started to show Me how to WIN the Battles of the War because He has experienced and has passed DOWN the Knowledge and the experiences to me with his Son.. Now I came here for this very reason.. TO protect YOU and to defend the Nation and to tell YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS how much I love YOU..I am looking at the rain falling down the Sky.. looking across.. I see the Door where I sleep.. it is opened.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is inside that ROOM.. I needs to go and get it.. My Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. Your Picture.. the Art Sketch Paper.. when I was Young.. the paper that YOU gave to Me.. I had to get the permission from the Artist Boy who drew that Picture of YOU.. I remember he told Me.. if He gets Caught drawing the Picture.. If a Guard catches or Any Officials who works for Your Father the King.. PEH HA.. he can be Put to death.. but He went and drew that Picture for me.. I saw Him get caught.. He was dragged into the Prison.. I could Not believe what has happened to that BOY.. who died for drawing the Picture of YOU.. I remember the Night I went to visit Him. My Father was able to get Me into the Palace.. being the Head servant who was serving YOU.. I went with my Father.. I saw Him siting alone.. and it just broke my Heart.. He told me.. it is because it is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. it is because YOU are MAH MAH.. the HAWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. any ways He was poor.. living as a Homeless street.. as I hold his hands to thank HIM.. he looked at me and told me.. I have A Dream.. as Long as I have that Dream to conqueror.. to be by YOUR SIDE.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. who I loved and to serve.. and to Protect.. and told me.. GO ALL IN.. even if it gets me Here like this Young Boy.. it be worth Dying for as long as I can try my Best to get there.. and I cried Loud as He told Me.. Chase my Dreams and Let it come true.. Believe In It.. and something BIG.. GRAND can happen in the end.. I saw the Guards with the Keys.. Unlocks.. AND It was His time to GO.. I screamed Let HIM LIVE.. He did Not do any wrong.. what is Wrong to and the Guard struck me.. I fell and saw that Boy being carried away.. I get UP.. and I ran.. ran after the Guards WHO was taking HIM away.. my Father ran after ME.. grabbed me and told Me.. I will see him again.. and I stood there crying.. as the Boy disappeared into the Night.. and It was raining.. I saw the RAIN falling and I would Cry Out in Loud Voice wailing.. Crown Princess.. WHY is Life Not so fair for the POOR people.. small people like Us.. it is no Fair and I am wiping my tears with my Arms.. and as I am sitting down.. I am crying Looking at the open Door to the Small room.. that Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is a gift.. the Price has been paid.. some one had to die just to draw that Picture of YOU for Me and It died.. and the Older Man.. the Master.. he has the stick.. holding it UP.. and there is the stick on the ground next to me.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Cost of Losing a One's Life.. and it is YOU.. My Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH and I grab the stick with my Hand and PULL myself UP.. and my eyes looking at the Older MAN.. and he yells Out Loud and swings the Stick at me and I would go back.. the waters makes me slide back and I would yell in rage and I jump UP with the stick In my hand and I swing the stick and it hits the Old Man's stick. and I jump Up again and swing right left left right and I land on the ground and did a back Kick and Hit the Master on the middle.. and I jump Up again swinging the stick in my hand with full of Rage.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and swinging the stick in my hand left right right left and It knocks the Stick Off his Hand.. and I do a round house kick to knock him on the Ground.. the Older Man.. He is laying on the ground.. as the rain Keeps on falling down.. and I stand holding the stick in my hand.. I am crying.. Just Missing YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. but Look at me.. I am here stuck Out here.. ALL I want to do is just to see you for ONCE.. But the situation is Not helping me to go anywhere at this Point.. WHAT DO I do Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Older man.. the Master gets UP slowly.. and he stands looking at me.. and I see he leaving out of sight.. as I would LOOK at the Open Door to the ROOM.. the Small room where I rest.. and I go inside.. and I am looking.. the Art Sketch Paper.. and drawing Picture of YOU.. this Means everything to me.. I remember putting this Art Sketch Paper.. drawing Picture of YOU.. Putting in back of Me.. walking In the Snow.. all alone.. Not knowing where I was going to go but I even had to leave the Garden.. I told myself.. that I am going to go where YOU are.. Crown Princes.. as I would grab hold onto the Paper.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I told YOU through Looking at this Picture.. Someday I will get Close.. even though I may be far right Now.. I know that One day I will see YOU.. I will be close so that YOU know how much I love YOU.. and the Sword.. by the time I see YOU.. I am going to be holding a Sword in my hand.. and the Sword I hold.. it is going to Protect YOU.. my Sword that I have with me will always protect and also defend for YOU.. I will be a man of my words
MAH MAH.. will see YOU SOON.. it may seems like a long time Now.. the Older MAN.. the Master tells me.. it be a lot sooner because I am thinking of YOU.. that I have a Dream to Love YOU.. but to Protect.. and to defend YOU for a cause for this Nation you are building.. that I know I needs to be there to see YOU as My True QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU as you take your place of Your Father's Spot.. to RULE this NATION as the CONQUEROR.. I want to be there to see with my own eyes before I die.. I can't not delay.. because I want to see YOU soon.. and I would be thinking of YOU.. thinking of protecting YOU and also defending Your Nation I would hit and hit.. the Wooden Sword Stick would break.. because I would hit it very Hard.. the Older man.. the Master would carve another WOODEN SWORD STICK for me.. He is just sitting there being busy Carving all day Long.. I do remember like My Father.. who was watching me.. I would be holding the Bow.. strings I would Pull back.. many times I would pull the strings back and forth.. I would use the Arrow.. the back of the end of the arrows.. I would aim and I would release the strings of the Bow.. it would break.. He would be very busy pulling the Strings into the Bow.. watching me Shoot the Arrows.. many flies to different sides.. I kept On practice shooting.. even my hands be hurting.. Just like Holding this WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I hit many times on the Wooden DUMMY.. But I never gave UP on the Dreams of Loving YOU.. I just can't call it the Quits.. I have come so Far and I am getting closer to YOU.. as the OLDER MAN.. the Master looks at me.. He tells me.. it is time for me to GO to see the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would stand there as he gives me the Letter.. stamping with the seal for His NAME that I am His student.. I would stand IN the ROOM.. as I am looking at the Letter with the STAMP SEALED.. I would sit.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I sat alone.. crying.. It means that I get to finally see YOU.. I have made the promise.. DO you remember.. and I am LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. WHEN we were Young.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU came to the Garden.. and I was at the Top of the Hill.. By the tree.. visiting My Mother's grave.. I was with my Father and he wanted too tell me a story.. and I heard the Messenger as he was going Up on the Hill.. and it stopped my Father and we turned to look back.. the Messenger says the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH is coming UP.. and Me and My Father.. Both on the Knees Looking on the ground.. YOU came to us.. and it broke my Heart when YOU told me.. it is going to be hard for you to come to this Garden.. and before YOU are going to come the One last Time.. a Prince is going to show UP for the Last time.. and I knew what that meant.. I remember that Day Came.. YOU showed UP with the Prince who wanted to Marry YOU.. My Heart was breaking into Pieces when He came with YOU.. but I made a Promise to YOU.. and that promise is that I will still love YOU.. and that I will go to serve.. and to protect and defend YOU.. even if it means that I can't Love YOU.. but I asked YOU.. can I still Love YOU.. WOULD YOU let me still Love YOU.. but I do remember YOU looked the other way.. WHEN I saw you with the Prince at the Hill top by the Tree.. I did Not want any one there which it was my Mother's Grave.. I just could Not believe it had to happen.. when I think of it Now.. I have never given UP on that Promise.. as I was in the Small ROOM.. holding the Letter with the Stamp sealed of the Older Man.. the Master.. and On the Other Hand is the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I don't have anything.. I have Nothing really.. But I do have this Heart.. a Heart who never seems to stop but Keeps On loving YOU and I am going to go to YOU.. I will be close to YOU and show YOU.. I am a MAN with a real Words who will do what I will say because I love YOU.. and as I hold the Letter.. there is a servant who belongs to the Older man.. the Master and he became my friend.. and that He too wanted to go to the palace life.. just to protect and the defend for YOU.. as I am looking at the SUN rising UP.. watching the New Recruits of Young Men.. I see YOU sitting on the Horse.. on the White Dress.. but this Time.. YOU have came Off from Sitting and I see YOU walking.. with the Big Crown on top of your Head.. and I turn to LOOK.. with the Seven men.. the friends of Mine.. we turn to face YOU.. and I would say.. SALUTE.. and all of the Men.. even the New Recruits.. More who even joined into the training camp.. ALL goes on the two Knees.. Arms moves forward.. and Lowers the Heads together and I see YOU stop.. MY Heart starts to beat Faster.. as my Heart keeps On running.. ALL these men.. New and Older.. the Military and Generals.. Commanders and Chief Generals.. ALL down on two Knees.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Young Boy who drew this Picture of YOU.. as I am looking at it.. My eyes.. watery and fills with Tears and I can feel my tears running Down as I am looking at this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. as YOU pull out the Sword and YOU point at Me.. and I lift UP my Head looking UP at YOU.. My Heart breaks because I do remember this One Young Fellow.. He told me that as Long as I keep dreaming.. and Dreaming of Just Loving YOU.. and to follow my Dreams and my Heart towards YOU.. that One day.. something Big.. something Grand will Happen.. I did Not know what that Meant.. But Now I know what it is Like because I am here today still Loving YOU.. I had no idea why was that young boy saying this to me.. that is before he died.. I saw the Boy's body on the back of a wagon being carried.. on the streets.. a HAY was covered over.. I ran to look at the wagon being pulled by the Horse.. when I stopped.. uncover the STRAY HAY covering.. it was the Same young Boy who gave me this Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I would with both hands show YOU.. HWANGTAEJABIN MAH MAH.. and I see you walking closer and YOU stopped.. and YOU looked at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is this Picture I kept all of this Time and Just could Not let It go.. But Know I believe I can because my Dreams of Loving YOU and coming this Close.. It has been kept alive.. I want YOU to do the Honor to Burn this For Me.. because Now.. I realize I don't need this One Picture because I see YOU Now.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I am close to YOU NOW.. I love YOU MORE NOW.. so I don't need to go back because I am Now living in the Present.. going forward with YOU to future HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. ALL I want to say to YOU.. I still Love YOU.. I never have given UP that Hope and dreams of Loving YOU.. I hope that NOW you can see my true Heart.. the real Heart of Mine who never stopped Loving you this Far.. all I wanted to say to YOU CROWN PRINCESS.. I love YOU..I walk out the room.. Pulling out the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I just can't stop.. I been thinking of YOU a lot lately.. and I needs to go see YOU.. but How.. and as I am standing out.. I would turn to the Left.. I see the Horse.. and it belongs to the Older Man who teaches me.. maybe this time.. and I would look at the Art sketch paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. YOU know that YOU may Not see me.. but I will be at the Palace.. I will only be like a Shadow.. like the wind.. YOU can't see Me.. but YOU know that I am there.. knowing because I love YOU.. and I would Fold the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU in my Back.. and I would walk.. I stop by the Horse.. and I would get back on this Black Horse.. I would hit the Horse likely and the Horse starts to RUN.. as I am riding on the Back of the Horse.. feeling the Wind in my face as the Horse keeps On running down the Road.. all I can think of is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even though I may not be close.. even though you may Not see Me.. I know that as long as I can see YOU.. just seeing YOU from a Far is all I can ask for.. even though I may Not be able to say or tell YOU what My Heart truly feels or expresses to YOU.. as Long as my eyes sees that YOU are doing good.. that is ALL I am asking for.. the Horse keeps On running down the road.. all through the Day.. I see this Horse.. this Black Horse keeps on going.. it feels Like me.. Just cannot stop but keeps On going.. as I would watch the SUN Setting down.. when I look on the side.. I see the waters.. and the Horse would run slowly as it stops.. I give this Horse.. the Black Horse some rest.. I get Off the Horse.. Now.. as I would walk close to the waters.. there are group of guys by the waters.. and I would turn to look at One of the guys.. and I would stand still.. as I would pull the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. and it is killing me inside that I can't be close to YOU.. Now.. one of the guys.. he comes closer and takes a LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and Looks at me.. and I tell Him.. Yes.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU are asking me.. I am a Low Born servant.. and I know I can't even Look at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. who am I to love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am Not suppose to ever put my eyes on YOU.. and the penalty for getting caught is Death.. even though I know that If I break this Law.. But.. if YOU take a LOOK at me.. I am already Dead.. so I have No
Oink Oink.. Watching the Rain falling from the sky.. I came Out side.. just could not get YOU off my Mind.. thinking of YOU hurts My Head because it starts with my Heart be missing YOU.. trying to keep my Mind.. my thoughts out of YOU.. I decided to walk Out side.. but did Not expect the Rain to show UP.. as I am standing.. I see the Light rain showering Down.. When I am in the Room.. I been drinking a lot.. the Bottle is inside in the Room.. and Now it is empty bottle.. How can I take a Message to YOU.. How can I tell YOU that I am waiting for YOU.. to tell YOU that I love YOU.. will you let me Love YOU over and over again.. waiting here.. I know that I just can't tell YOU.. as I am Out side.. I brought the Little Piano.. and I been trying to record the Playing of the Piano on this Recorder.. I can Put the Tape into the empty Bottle.. so that I can send it to YOU.. But How.. that is the Question that has been popping in my Head all this Time.. I be in the Room.. siting by the desk.. and I be looking at your Picture.. as I would LOOK at the Picture of YOU.. there is something that I must say.. I must tell YOU before it be Just too Late.. Not sure what it is but I know my Time is running Out.. and the TIME tics very fast.. that is WHY I have NO Other time but Now to tell YOU.. what's been in my Mind.. what's been in my Heart.. and I needs to tell YOU.. But.. How am I suppose to get it across to YOU.. if I am here.. standing Out side.. Looking at the Rain falling from the Sky.. it is lightly Rain.. the Little Piano is telling Me that I needs to play a Song for YOU.. that I needs to hit the Key bars which brings Out a tune of songs.. something that YOU can listen too.. but I be asking my self.. WHAT DO I Play.. I be looking at this Little Piano.. who is standing Next to Me Out side.. if I know that I can't even play this kind of Instrument.. but my Heart is telling me that I needs to play a SONG for YOU through this Little Piano who is with me right Now.. it hasn't been played for a Long time.. but it wants me to Play something.. but I know that I can't.. that is HOW I feel about YOU.. that I wants to be with YOU.. that I wants to see YOU.. and be near YOU so that I can tell YOU how much I love YOU.. that My arms been missing YOU.. asking myself I needs to Hold YOU close in my arms.. I needs to hold you tight.. but I know just standing here Out side.. after LOOKING at your Picture and taking some shots of the Liquor in the Room.. I feel like looking at this Little Piano who is next to me.. even though the Presence of the Little Piano may be near me.. I can't even play a Song.. I can't compose or write a Music.. I can't sing while playing the Little Piano.. but it is very close to Me here.. so I been asking myself.. what is better.. If you were near me and very Close but I can't do anything with YOU.. or is it better that YOU are so far away and I ache of missing YOU.. but.. is it the Letter that I can write to give YOU.. because I would sit by the desk.. and I would look at the Pen in my hand and I would LOOK at the Piece of paper in the front.. LOOKING at your Picture of YOU.. just aching and Missing YOU.. I would pen it DOWN on the paper.. sharing and telling YOU as I would write.. what My Heart be telling me.. How much I been thinking of YOU and Missing YOU.. that YOU are the Only One who I love.. that YOU are the Only One I think of and the One who I misses the Most.. as I would stop.. Pouring on the Shot Glass the Liquor.. and I would sit.. Aching this pain from my Heart.. I would like to tear my Heart Out of me because it hurts.. Missing YOU hurts me.. and also just loving YOU hurts Me.. and also just thinking of YOU hurts me even More because there is NOTHING I can do.. and I would LOOK.. Look at the Little Piano.. and I am holding it in my arms.. I want to play.. I want to sing.. I want to bring Music Out of by pressing on the Key bars of this Instrument to bring Music OUT so that I can sing songs to YOU.. it drives me Nuts.. it drives me crazy because I see the Little Piano.. and I think of YOU and I want to share More to YOU and express this Heart to YOU.. but How can I if I can't Play on this Little Piano.. to tell YOU by singing songs.. I would be crying OUT my Heart as I would tell YOU through the Voice.. singing and singing Out my Heart as YOU.. as I would have the Letter In my Hand and through the Letter I would write.. I write my Heart which has YOUR NAME on the Front telling YOU.. WHY is my Heart be burning and why do I feel like I am dying.. drowning deeply.. LOOKING at the Little Piano makes me Cry.. it makes me want to cry Harder because it is a way to tell YOU.. if I would of learned years back of playing.. and when I did had that Chance to practice.. Only If I could turn back at the age of the YOUTH.. I should of learned at that TIME of the Chance.. I know if I did take that Chance at that TIME of the YOUTH.. I would be playing on that Little Piano.. and I would also record my Voice to tell YOU.. even though I may not have a GOOD voice to sing to YOU.. I would of practice my voice if I learned HOW to play this Little Piano.. and I would find ways to tell YOU MORE.. I be able to sit on the TOP of the MOON if I can.. and I be holding the Little Piano in my arms.. and sitting on the TOP OF the MOON.. I know that YOU are able to hear me Out.. I would turn to YOU.. and will say.. CAN YOU SEE ME.. I am sitting on the TOP of this MOON.. I do not know How I got here but I begged for two WINGS and It was provided just for this ONE VERY NIGHT.. to Put on ONE show.. I have written YOU a Letter so that WHEN YOU hear me playing on this Little Piano.. YOU can hear my Voice.. every Night.. I been thinking of YOU.. My Voice hurts but I had to practice.. every NIGHT I sang Out from my Heart.. crying because My Heart tells me HOW MUCH I love YOU.. Crying to tell YOU that THIS IS what Happens when YOU LOVE.. I don't want to be Like a Little GIRL because I am NOT.. but I can express and tell YOU.. as I be going into the rest room.. and singing SONGS.. working Out with my VOICE to be Heard.. it be that Just One Night.. where I can Sit on the TOP of the MOON with me is the Little Piano with me.. as I sit next to the Little Piano.. and my fingers on the Key bars of the Little Piano.. I would have your Picture with me.. showing YOU here is YOU.. Your Picture and if YOU can see me sitting in the TOP of the MOON.. my fingers would Hit the Key bars and it brings Out the Sounds.. making Songs with the Music from the LITTLE PIANO.. I would pull out the Letter.. and I would read the Letter Out Loud where YOU can hear my Voice telling YOU.. and I would say.. I been practicing for a long time.. Of course YOU would of Not know it because It was truly Behind the curtains.. I would Not tell any one what I was doing because I wanted to put on ONE SHOW for YOU.. sitting on the TOP of the MOON is the Only way for YOUR EYES to LOOK at me.. there was NO OTHER WAY.. and I would say.. Please.. give Your ears to me.. Give me few Minutes because that is ONLY one TIME I can do this for YOU.. Please.. give me your ears and I would say.. can YOU Hear me.. if YOU can Lift UP your Head and LOOK.. I am sitting ON the top of this MOON.. with me is the Little Piano.. since I was young.. I was made to play on this Little Piano so the day I can see YOU.. I am able to share something special to YOU which comes from my Heart.. and I would shout.. I love YOU.. I love you just too Much.. I love you from here UP at the MOON to YOU.. and I have been missing YOU.. as My fingers are pressing on the Key bars of this Little Piano.. and I am Looking at YOU sitting on TOP of the MOON.. I would be looking at the Letter I wrote to YOU.. I would say to YOU.. can YOU see me now.. Can you hear me Now.. Please give me Your time for few minutes because It is Not going to be that Long.. I been loving YOU.. and I am Not just saying it so that it make you feel nice.. I am saying it and telling you because It is In My Heart whose been loving YOU for So long.. can YOU hear the Little Piano playing a SONG.. can YOU Hear the Music that is coming out of this Little Piano.. I had to write the Music so that YOU will know that It came from me to YOU.. SO Please.. give me few Minutes of your time to hear me Out because I will Not be Long.. and as I would tell YOU what I have written on the Letter.. I will say to YOU.. I am Not sure when the Next time would Be.. when I will get another Chance to sit on the Top of this Moon.. but if the MOON allows me to get back here again.. I would so that I can tell YOU more with the Little Piano making song and music to Come alive.. I am only doing this to YOU so that YOU can see the real side of My Heart of How much I truly Love YOU.. and as I am standing next to the Little Piano.. I am Looking UP at the MOON.. and the rain starts to fall harder and harder and starts to pour down.. and I know I am getting More soak wet as I just stand here.. I am Only LOOKING at the MOON high above Me.. and I am NOT siting on the Top of the MOON any more.. I know that the Only way YOU can hear me.. that YOU can see me is if I can sit On the TOP of that Moon.. and show YOU this Little Piano with me.. playing to tell YOU how much I really Love YOU.. as I turn toward the Door.. I am able to take the Little Piano with me Back to the House.. I can't play the Little Piano what breaks my Heart.. even if there was a Chance for me to Sit on the Top of the MOON and the Little Piano with me.. I still would NOT able to share.. or Play the Little Piano to YOU.. that is how I feel most nights.. WHEN I look at your Picture.. when I pull your Picture and I take a Look at YOU.. I can only look.. but I want to have YOU close.. I want to be with YOU and tell YOU can I be with YOU forever.. will you be mine for ever please.. and I sit by the desk.. aching.. and I feel like
MAH MAH.. I am standing in the training camp.. and I see you coming over from the Fence.. the Big Crown on the Top of your Head.. and the White Dress.. as I see you walk alone.. YOU take my breathe away.. and I can feel my Heart beating so fast.. and as YOU come to meet me in the Center of the training camp.. the New Recruits.. over 200 men are standing by.. as YOU stop.. in my hands is the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I am standing looking at YOU as I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I do not need this any more.. but Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have to always remember that when you were Never around.. this was the Only THING that Held my Heart because whenever I missed YOU.. this was the Only thing that helped me through the way.. When I was left alone for a Long time.. this was the Only thing.. it may Not be anything special to YOU.. It may not be any of the importance to YOU.. YOU may just look at it as a paper.. that someone drew long ago.. and it may only seems like the past piece of Art.. but to Me.. it has many memories of loving YOU.. many Memories of Looking UP at the Moon.. standing Alone in the Nights.. there was SUN.. but also there was the MOON.. there was a time when Winter came by and it be very cold outside.. when times I saw the falling of the rain.. when I lost my Father.. and I felt my Heart broke all the way.. when I could Not see YOU and even the BOY who drew this Picture.. How he had to sneak into the Palace gates and How from the Far he drew YOU.. who got caught and arrested.. He was beaten and Put to death.. telling me that this is for me and knowing that HE wishes that My Dreams came true and that ALL this did Not mean Nothing to Me as he died by the Sword.. Even the Older MAN.. who was the teacher in my Life saw this Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU who knew WHO you are.. but told me to GO.. and to Protect YOU and to defend the Nation which it belongs to YOU and this Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU was the main reason WHY I could go On.. when I was at the Garden.. and I saw YOU there for the first TIME.. I wanted that Boy to draw.. of course I knew it be just too late to call HIM.. when I saw YOU by the gates of the Garden and I walked Out and saw YOU.. I wanted to ask YOU.. Can you Please draw another or Give me another Picture from the Art Sketch.. but.. when YOU left.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Day you left the Garden is when I knew the Only thing I had was this.. and my arms would lift as my hands are Holding the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. it was only this I had because I knew.. I was Not sure if I could ever see YOU again.. when I would see YOU again was my thoughts.. going UP the Hill and standing by the tree below was the Garden and Across I would see the palace.. and Knowing that is the Place where YOU at.. I wanted to Go.. I wanted to be close to YOU.. but what if I am NOT ALLOWED to get in and be put into the Prison instead.. But.. I made UP my mind.. I can die tomorrow and I will say I love YOU.. I can die the few days Later.. as Long there is still a Breathe IN me.. I know I can still Believe in Loving YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. and I do remember leaving the Garden after I made UP my Mind.. in the Snow walking and knowing How cold it was.. and knowing I could die A lot sooner.. I felt the Last Push of my body as I kept on walking through the SNOW.. I was thinking of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am not sure How much More I have in Me.. But I will still try to go to YOU and I kept on walking in the Snow and I felt my body.. it could NOT go no more and I fell down in the Snow.. I kept on thinking of YOU until the last breathe saying I am so sorry I might Not make It.. As I was on the Guard.. watching the Post at Night.. and How I became the Palace guard guarding the back gates.. I do remember pulling the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. and LOOKING.. I been needing to LOOK.. thinking of YOU.. saying to this Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. YOU may not hear my voice be telling YOU but I say it as I look at YOU.. that I love YOU.. do you know How much I love YOU and I would hold the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture close to my Heart.. to my Chest.. I wish that I be holding YOU instead but.. it be this paper instead.. someone telling me that Behind me is the Chamber of Your ROOM.. and I remember I turn back to LOOK.. I saw YOU.. looking Out from the patio of the Chamber of Your ROOM.. the MOON was Out.. I would LOOK UP at.. I would say MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. can YOU see me.. I am here and it has been such a Long time coming.. and Now.. I know that I do Not need this Piece of Paper.. the Art Sketch paper any more.. I want to see YOU take this from Me.. Now I am here close to YOU.. I told the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. Once I meet YOU.. I can Now send it away and give it to YOU because it belongs to YOU.. it has come to the right Person WHO I love the Most.. so Please take this from Me because I am giving YOU my Heart.. My Heart is in it because it is YOU who I never forgotten.. and I see YOU LOOKING at me.. as I am on two Knees.. My Head is Looking on the floor.. my arms raise with the Paper.. the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. Please take this From me because I don't need it any more.. why do I need it when I see YOU here.. there is NO POINT for me to have because it is YOU.. I see your hands take the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and my tears.. it starts to flow Out of both eyes of me.. I can finally let that Piece of Paper GO and allow the Boy to finally rest in Piece.. the Seven Friends of Mine would walk together and they would all stand Behind.. the two Knees and Heads look on the floor.. arms straight Out.. and I see YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. Now One of the Guards comes and has a Torch in the Hand and Gives to YOU.. and I see YOU Burn it with the Fire and It becomes the Ashes before my eyes.. I just can't believe It.. and as I see YOU looking down.. I see you with a SMILE.. and I smile back because it means everything to Me.. YOU are truly everything to Me.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH means everything to me.. and I hear something.. I hear foot steps walking.. and I see you Crown Princess turn Around and Comes.. the 2nd Rank General is coming.. and there is Seven Other Lower Generals walking behind Him and the Eight stops next to YOU.. the 2nd RANK General with the seven generals all goes to the two Knees.. Heads all lowers looking to the floor.. Arms come out straight forward.. and I see YOU LOOKING at HIM.. pulling Out your Sword.. the 2nd Rank General speaks to YOU and it is about Me.. and How he knows me.. He has beaten me before.. and Now.. wants to fight me.. and YOU would turn to LOOK at me.. and Point the sword at Me.. I lift UP my Head and I look over.. and I DO remember.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. I will accept the Challenge.. and I see YOU walk back and as I am looking at the 2nd Rank General.. I remember when I first Came to the training Camp.. when He just became the General.. and I just got into the camp.. as I would stand UP.. the Seven of my Friends all stood behind Me.. and the 2nd Rank General Stands UP.. and the Seven of the Lower rank Generals all stands UP.. and I would look at HIM.. and I would PULL out the sword.. and I knew that He beat me Once.. and I would say.. YOU did WIN last time.. but this TIME.. it be very Different.. and I would turn to LOOK at YOU.. and I raise UP my arm and the Seven Friends all would back way.. and the 2nd Rank General PULLS out his Sword.. but this time.. it is NOT about WIN with the sticks.. it is all about the Sword.. DO or DIE.. and I would run.. holding with the Sword in my hand and I jump into air and I would swing my arm holding the Sword and jump up again shouting louder and swinging the arm with the sword in my Hand.. as I am In the Line.. the Guard at the Table looks and YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I just can't believe that it is YOU.. and as YOU stand by the table.. YOU look at the two Letters.. one is the Official Seal with a Stamp of the Name of the OLDER MAN.. the Commander of the King.. PEH HA.. and the Other is the written Letter from Me giving to YOU through the years what I had to deal to get to YOU.. and I see you reading the Letter.. the New Friend was with me and He also gives the Official Seal with the stamp of his Father.. the Commander and I am holding the Sword of my Grand father and the Friend is holding His Father's sword and YOU look at the two swords and YOU look at the Guard to let us inside.. and I just cannot believe it.. it has been this Long.. and Now I am here.. I am at the Camp.. this training camp Only the YOUNG NEW RECRUITS can pass the exam of the military Arts.. but by the seal.. the official Seal and stamp.. and I would fall.. both on my two knees.. with the New Friend.. both on the two Knees.. heads are looking on the ground.. and arms straight forward.. CROWN PRINCESS.. we are here.. have made it to the Camp.. I thought I had to wait another Year.. but even Next year would be NO Promise.. since the Line is so Long.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. I just wanted to say thank YOU.. and I see YOU stand.. in your hands are the Official Seals and stamps.. as YOU would pull out the sword and Point to me.. I would lift UP my Head and I turn to LOOK at YOU and I would say.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. why did YOU not come to the Garden.. DO you know that I been waiting
MAH MAH.. Place.. I saw a WHOLE NEW WORLD because it was YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. who rescued the Broken and Lost.. the Poor people and has rebuild everything into something New.. I saw re building of the Garden.. I wanted to see YOU.. Crown Princess.. I wanted to see YOU.. I would wonder.. where is the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. without YOU it would never been re build at that Garden.. Lives changed because YOU came.. sick people became healthy and they started to eat well.. Planters and farmers came together.. giving a New Life of meaning to Live.. I sat.. and I was looking for YOU.. But YOU never came.. because YOU did Not come back to the Garden.. and I wanted to say something., say thank YOU.. but YOU never came that is NOW I have come.. NOW I have come to protect YOU and to defend YOU.. LOOK at the Official Seal.. and LOOK at the Stamp on the Paper I gave YOU WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Older MAN.. the Teacher who taught me for Many Years.. He told me that He fought for this Nation.. with My Grand father.. together as Brothers At War.. they both joined hands together and has protected your Father.. the KING PEH HA.. He is the One who taught me through these years of the Art of Swordsmanship and to shoot arrows and TOLD me stories of the Battles He had to face.. many died by the Sword of His with my Grand father's sword too.. protecting this NATION and to protect.. the Teacher knows that I loved YOU.. I showed HIM the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I showed him that Picture.. drawing picture and that I wanted to be the ONE to protect YOU and to defend the Nation.. and the Older man.. the Teacher started to show Me how to WIN the Battles of the War because He has experienced and has passed DOWN the Knowledge and the experiences to me with his Son.. Now I came here for this very reason.. TO protect YOU and to defend the Nation and to tell YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS how much I love YOU..I want to see you Success.. My Heart as the Loyal Slave.. as the Servant.. as the Low Born which My Father was the Head of the Servant.. as I am sitting in the Small room.. the Older Man.. the Teacher gave me a small table and I am with a Paper.. with the Ink I would write to the Crown Princess.. MAH MAH.. I have been living in this Place.. the Older man who has become my Teacher has told me that He wanted me as the Son.. so I have become his adopted Son.. and He has been teaching me for Years.. and I would be looking at the Pen Brush and dip into the Ink Pot.. I have never stopped dreaming of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I have been practicing the Art of Swordsmanship.. and Also the Archer Shooting.. the Older man who has become the Teacher.. He would spend Hours helping me to learn this Military Arts and has told me to write a Letter to the Crown Princess.. so I am about to leave this Place with the Official Letter which was sealed with his Stamp allowing me to step Out and go forward.. telling me that through the Years.. He has watched me grow my skills of the Art of swordsmanship and the practice tactic of the Military Arts and with this Official Letter seal that I am able to pass over and go into the Training Camp without going into the training ground.. He has revealed to me that He was an EX COMMANDER for the King.. he was at the Most Highest Place in the ranking of the Office in the Palace and showed me the sword of which He has won many Battles for YOUR FATHER the KING PEH HA.. I was shocked when I found this Out because He showed me the Sword.. which he took many lives and He knew my Grand father who was also the Chief General.. who also became the Commander and was Brothers in War and together they led many Victories in the Battles when Enemies rose against the Nation.. the Teacher told me.. the Older Man who is my teacher told me that I must Protect YOU.. and also Needed to defend because HE remembers you.. He knows my father who was the Head servant and saw YOU when YOU were Young with my Grandfather and knew.. Later down the Line.. Both would say.. the COMMANDERS would say YOU are going to rule.. that YOU are going to be the Head of the Nation.. that YOU are the next in Line to be at the RULING SPOT.. that YOU are going to be the QUEEN KING.. the Ruler who rules it all.. and when the Older man.. the Teacher saw me with the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing of YOU.. he looked at me and asked.. and I told the Teacher.. the Older man who you are.. I told Him.. I love YOU.. and that the reason why I am here.. and that the reason why I am going to you has never changed in my heart but keeps Loving YOU.. the Older man.. the teacher said to me.. CROWN PRINCESS right.. I told him.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I sat next to HIM and told him the story of How I saw YOU.. where I met YOU.. and it was at the Garden.. and how you came to visit the Garden One Night.. I already had Your Picture then.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I heard the men servants walking.. with the Many Foot soldiers.. the Special Body Guards and the Guards who all came that night.. I heard a Voice.. I was in the Garden Looking at the Bed of Flowers.. and I heard a Noise.. a shouting and there was a gate I would open to LOOK.. sitting on the Horse.. YOU were wearing a White Dress.. I was holding the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. but did Not know that it was YOU.. the MEN Servants looks at me.. the Crown Princess.. and I just could not believe.. from the Palace.. who is going to rule and be the Head over the Nation.. I am at the Most Lowest Place.. the SON of the Head servant.. and I fell down on my face DOWN and I would say MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am so sorry I did not Know who YOU are.. and the Guards rush and fell on fours and Your Legs on the back of a Guards.. the maid servants who came to rush for your hands and helps you to walk.. every one went FACE DOWN to the Ground.. I just could not believe it.. why would you come to this Garden.. it is only for the Poor and the Lowest people who lives here.. why would you care for people who are born into the Most lowest comes to a shabby place.. I felt my Heart.. My Heart started to beat so fast.. and I saw YOU stand and stopped next to me.. the maid servant tells me that I can raise UP.. and I was able to stand before YOU.. YOU are so beautiful.. and One hand I had a Flower.. the Other hand is the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and your eyes were looking at both hands so I would raise it up to show you.. YOU looked at the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. the Maid servant looks at me.. and the eyes told me I can be in danger because of this.. and I remember I told YOU this very night.. if I have offended you HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU want me to rip this Art Sketch paper into pieces.. I can do it for YOU.. if you want me to be Locked in Prison and I die for this.. I can die for YOU.. before you make up your Mind to do something please let me share something from my Heart.. I am Not afraid to Die.. I am always ready to die.. I will anyways die either Now or Later but I still will die.. but one thing that I wanted to say.. I been loving YOU for a while Now.. it may not be much to YOU but this is ALL I have to have to Love.. if you want to Lock me UP now.. Please CROWN PRINCESS.. Lock me UP now.. and I saw YOU just looking at me and gave me a smile.. and I remember you wanted me to see the Garden.. and that was the day I would walk next to YOU to give you a tour of this Garden.. which it was to show YOU in the first place.. I told my Father when he was alive that I wanted to do something to this Garden.. and showing my Father the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. that I know that the Crown Princess may stop by one day.. HE looked at me like I am very crazy.. I would beg my father to help me to making this Garden to be a special Place.. what if the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH shows UP.. I believe the Crown Princess will come.. and My Father who was alive at that time laughs at me.. the ROYALITY and the Palace Life.. this is a SHABBY Place.. only for the Poorest People stay here and I would cry before HIM asking HIM.. to Help me to rebuild this Garden.. I know that the Crown Princess.. as I saw YOU with the White Dress.. I would stand with in awe and My lines of tears ran down because YOU did Come.. I just could not believe that It would happen because it just Can't but that Night.. the Night MAH MAH came.. I fell in love with YOU harder because that is when I knew.. you also cared about the poor people.. the Lowest of lives who lives here.. people who has no place to stay or to live.. as the gates OPENED and I would walk with YOU next to me.. the Crown Princess.. I just knew that YOU were so Special.. that YOU were so different because YOU even came here.. the POOR people all came Out.. NO HOMES.. living in straw homes.. people were dirty and smelly.. and I lived with these people.. but when YOU showed UP.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and YOU looked around.. and people all came crying.. and they fell on the Face Down.. MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH and I fell on the Face on the Ground and I started to SOBB.. crying and pouring out from my Heart.. and I was thinking about my Father.. if you came a little earlier.. My Father could of believed Me because he left to another place.. and I just could Not believe to see your Big Heart for these kinds of people.. the Lowly people
MAH MAH.. Friend.. the two of Us got on the Horses and we took Off.. as I am waiting in the Line.. with the new Friend.. He also has a Letter given by His Father.. and I too.. a HORN BLOWS and ALL the Men in the Line all lowers.. two Knees.. Heads lower and the Arm straight forward.. the Messenger Shouts Out Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH is coming.. and I stood there.. My Heart starts to Beat faster after I heard you came Out.. and I saw YOU from the Distance.. and I went on both knees.. Head down and Arm straight forward.. I just can't believe.. thinking of the Older man.. the Teacher.. who taught me everything.. swinging swords and defending.. and when I told the past story of How you came to the garden to the Poorest People living in the Garden.. and he started to cry.. That is why YOU are going to RULE the Nation.. that is why YOU are going to be the NeXT BIG RULER.. because YOU love and care for the people.. and my tears started to fall hitting on the Ground.. I saw YOU walking down.. from the distance.. and How much I missed YOU.. and it was so Long since the last when we were young.. I remember at the Garden.. you saw the People.. POOR children walking and YOU looked around and people gathered around YOU.. sick people came too.. and I heard you telling.. to rebuild this Garden.. and I stood.. face down to the ground and kept on crying.. and Now.. I know the true reason why I loved YOU and still loving YOU keeps on growing stronger each day passes by.. it is because YOU care and love.. even the broken people.. even a LOW person like myself.. I.. my Words are so speechless Now.. My Words can't come Out right now.. and I lifted UP my Head and I looked straight.. there is guard siting at the Table.. who is telling the MEN to go.. that it is finished.. and has to wait for the Next Year around.. as I am looking at the Two Letters.. and the Friend who is with me.. My Heart breaks.. I really wanted to see YOU Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I really wanted to tell you who I am.. the boy you saw at the Garden.. I have grown Now and came to protect and to defend YOU.. NOW I must have to go back and wait another year.. and as I would turn to walk away.. a Guard runs and stops Me with the friend.. and I would show the Guard the Official Stamp Letter.. the Seal from the COMMANDER who was the CHIEF in the military Arts.. and the Guard just could not believe the seal.. and He ran with the Official Seals.. and YOU were standing by the table.. and the Guard shows YOU.. the Letter and the Official Letter seal.. and YOU do know this Commander.. He was at the TOP of his TIME.. who was protecting YOUR FATHER the KING.. PEH HA.. the Guard comes to get me and the friend.. and We both would walk behind the Guard.. and I lifted UP my Head and I see YOU there.. I see you standing and waiting by the table.. and I started to cry.. showing YOU the JOY and the sorrows and It has been such a Long time.. but YOU are so Beautiful.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. you are so Beautiful.. I am looking at the rain falling down the Sky.. looking across.. I see the Door where I sleep.. it is opened.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is inside that ROOM.. I needs to go and get it.. My Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. Your Picture.. the Art Sketch Paper.. when I was Young.. the paper that YOU gave to Me.. I had to get the permission from the Artist Boy who drew that Picture of YOU.. I remember he told Me.. if He gets Caught drawing the Picture.. If a Guard catches or Any Officials who works for Your Father the King.. PEH HA.. he can be Put to death.. but He went and drew that Picture for me.. I saw Him get caught.. He was dragged into the Prison.. I could Not believe what has happened to that BOY.. who died for drawing the Picture of YOU.. I remember the Night I went to visit Him. My Father was able to get Me into the Palace.. being the Head servant who was serving YOU.. I went with my Father.. I saw Him siting alone.. and it just broke my Heart.. He told me.. it is because it is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. it is because YOU are MAH MAH.. the HAWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. any ways He was poor.. living as a Homeless street.. as I hold his hands to thank HIM.. he looked at me and told me.. I have A Dream.. as Long as I have that Dream to conqueror.. to be by YOUR SIDE.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. who I loved and to serve.. and to Protect.. and told me.. GO ALL IN.. even if it gets me Here like this Young Boy.. it be worth Dying for as long as I can try my Best to get there.. and I cried Loud as He told Me.. Chase my Dreams and Let it come true.. Believe In It.. and something BIG.. GRAND can happen in the end.. I saw the Guards with the Keys.. Unlocks.. AND It was His time to GO.. I screamed Let HIM LIVE.. He did Not do any wrong.. what is Wrong to and the Guard struck me.. I fell and saw that Boy being carried away.. I get UP.. and I ran.. ran after the Guards WHO was taking HIM away.. my Father ran after ME.. grabbed me and told Me.. I will see him again.. and I stood there crying.. as the Boy disappeared into the Night.. and It was raining.. I saw the RAIN falling and I would Cry Out in Loud Voice wailing.. Crown Princess.. WHY is Life Not so fair for the POOR people.. small people like Us.. it is no Fair and I am wiping my tears with my Arms.. and as I am sitting down.. I am crying Looking at the open Door to the Small room.. that Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is a gift.. the Price has been paid.. some one had to die just to draw that Picture of YOU for Me and It died.. and the Older Man.. the Master.. he has the stick.. holding it UP.. and there is the stick on the ground next to me.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Cost of Losing a One's Life.. and it is YOU.. My Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH and I grab the stick with my Hand and PULL myself UP.. and my eyes looking at the Older MAN.. and he yells Out Loud and swings the Stick at me and I would go back.. the waters makes me slide back and I would yell in rage and I jump UP with the stick In my hand and I swing the stick and it hits the Old Man's stick. and I jump Up again and swing right left left right and I land on the ground and did a back Kick and Hit the Master on the middle.. and I jump Up again swinging the stick in my hand with full of Rage.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and swinging the stick in my hand left right right left and It knocks the Stick Off his Hand.. and I do a round house kick to knock him on the Ground.. the Older Man.. He is laying on the ground.. as the rain Keeps on falling down.. and I stand holding the stick in my hand.. I am crying.. Just Missing YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. but Look at me.. I am here stuck Out here.. ALL I want to do is just to see you for ONCE.. But the situation is Not helping me to go anywhere at this Point.. WHAT DO I do Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Older man.. the Master gets UP slowly.. and he stands looking at me.. and I see he leaving out of sight.. as I would LOOK at the Open Door to the ROOM.. the Small room where I rest.. and I go inside.. and I am looking.. the Art Sketch Paper.. and drawing Picture of YOU.. this Means everything to me.. I remember putting this Art Sketch Paper.. drawing Picture of YOU.. Putting in back of Me.. walking In the Snow.. all alone.. Not knowing where I was going to go but I even had to leave the Garden.. I told myself.. that I am going to go where YOU are.. Crown Princes.. as I would grab hold onto the Paper.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I told YOU through Looking at this Picture.. Someday I will get Close.. even though I may be far right Now.. I know that One day I will see YOU.. I will be close so that YOU know how much I love YOU.. and the Sword.. by the time I see YOU.. I am going to be holding a Sword in my hand.. and the Sword I hold.. it is going to Protect YOU.. my Sword that I have with me will always protect and also defend for YOU.. I will be a man of my words who will do whatever it takes just to be close.. even though I may not able to say the Words I love YOU.. I know that the day will come where YOU will give me the Permission to say it.. as the Next Day Arrives.. the Older man.. the Master.. He put a DUMMY made of WOOD.. Carved it and gave me the WOODEN SWORD STICK to practice.. every Night.. I would walk Out side.. He would should Me the PIN POINTERS where to Hit the Hot Spot to destroy my enemies.. I would stand Alone.. and Most nights the MOON came UP from the Sky.. the Older man.. the Master would behind.. leaving a distance.. as I would hit the DUMMY WOOD with the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I would be looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would hold to close to my Chest.. and I would kiss the forehead of the WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. and I would walk outside into the Night.. LOOKING at the MOON.. I would say.. I will see YOU SOON.. it may seems like a long time Now.. the Older MAN.. the Master tells me.. it be a lot sooner because I am thinking of YOU.. that I have a Dream to Love YOU.. but to Protect.. and to defend YOU for a cause for this Nation you are building.. that I know I needs to be there to see YOU as My True QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU as you take your place of Your Father's Spot.. to RULE this NATION as the CONQUEROR.. I want to be there to see with my own eyes before I die.. I can't not delay.. because I want to see YOU soon.. and I would be thinking of YOU.. thinking of protecting YOU and also defending
MAH MAH.. Master looks at me.. He tells me.. it is time for me to GO to see the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would stand there as he gives me the Letter.. stamping with the seal for His NAME that I am His student.. I would stand IN the ROOM.. as I am looking at the Letter with the STAMP SEALED.. I would sit.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I sat alone.. crying.. It means that I get to finally see YOU.. I have made the promise.. DO you remember.. and I am LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. WHEN we were Young.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU came to the Garden.. and I was at the Top of the Hill.. By the tree.. visiting My Mother's grave.. I was with my Father and he wanted too tell me a story.. and I heard the Messenger as he was going Up on the Hill.. and it stopped my Father and we turned to look back.. the Messenger says the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH is coming UP.. and Me and My Father.. Both on the Knees Looking on the ground.. YOU came to us.. and it broke my Heart when YOU told me.. it is going to be hard for you to come to this Garden.. and before YOU are going to come the One last Time.. a Prince is going to show UP for the Last time.. and I knew what that meant.. I remember that Day Came.. YOU showed UP with the Prince who wanted to Marry YOU.. My Heart was breaking into Pieces when He came with YOU.. but I made a Promise to YOU.. and that promise is that I will still love YOU.. and that I will go to serve.. and to protect and defend YOU.. even if it means that I can't Love YOU.. but I asked YOU.. can I still Love YOU.. WOULD YOU let me still Love YOU.. but I do remember YOU looked the other way.. WHEN I saw you with the Prince at the Hill top by the Tree.. I did Not want any one there which it was my Mother's Grave.. I just could Not believe it had to happen.. when I think of it Now.. I have never given UP on that Promise.. as I was in the Small ROOM.. holding the Letter with the Stamp sealed of the Older Man.. the Master.. and On the Other Hand is the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I don't have anything.. I have Nothing really.. But I do have this Heart.. a Heart who never seems to stop but Keeps On loving YOU and I am going to go to YOU.. I will be close to YOU and show YOU.. I am a MAN with a real Words who will do what I will say because I love YOU.. and as I hold the Letter.. there is a servant who belongs to the Older man.. the Master and he became my friend.. and that He too wanted to go to the palace life.. just to protect and the defend for YOU.. as I am looking at the SUN rising UP.. watching the New Recruits of Young Men.. I see YOU sitting on the Horse.. on the White Dress.. but this Time.. YOU have came Off from Sitting and I see YOU walking.. with the Big Crown on top of your Head.. and I turn to LOOK.. with the Seven men.. the friends of Mine.. we turn to face YOU.. and I would say.. SALUTE.. and all of the Men.. even the New Recruits.. More who even joined into the training camp.. ALL goes on the two Knees.. Arms moves forward.. and Lowers the Heads together and I see YOU stop.. MY Heart starts to beat Faster.. as my Heart keeps On running.. ALL these men.. New and Older.. the Military and Generals.. Commanders and Chief Generals.. ALL down on two Knees.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Young Boy who drew this Picture of YOU.. as I am looking at it.. My eyes.. watery and fills with Tears and I can feel my tears running Down as I am looking at this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. as YOU pull out the Sword and YOU point at Me.. and I lift UP my Head looking UP at YOU.. My Heart breaks because I do remember this One Young Fellow.. He told me that as Long as I keep dreaming.. and Dreaming of Just Loving YOU.. and to follow my Dreams and my Heart towards YOU.. that One day.. something Big.. something Grand will Happen.. I did Not know what that Meant.. But Now I know what it is Like because I am here today still Loving YOU.. I had no idea why was that young boy saying this to me.. that is before he died.. I saw the Boy's body on the back of a wagon being carried.. on the streets.. a HAY was covered over.. I ran to look at the wagon being pulled by the Horse.. when I stopped.. uncover the STRAY HAY covering.. it was the Same young Boy who gave me this Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I would with both hands show YOU.. HWANGTAEJABIN MAH MAH.. and I see you walking closer and YOU stopped.. and YOU looked at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is this Picture I kept all of this Time and Just could Not let It go.. But Know I believe I can because my Dreams of Loving YOU and coming this Close.. It has been kept alive.. I want YOU to do the Honor to Burn this For Me.. because Now.. I realize I don't need this One Picture because I see YOU Now.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I am close to YOU NOW.. I love YOU MORE NOW.. so I don't need to go back because I am Now living in the Present.. going forward with YOU to future HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. ALL I want to say to YOU.. I still Love YOU.. I never have given UP that Hope and dreams of Loving YOU.. I hope that NOW you can see my true Heart.. the real Heart of Mine who never stopped Loving you this Far.. all I wanted to say to YOU CROWN PRINCESS.. I love YOU.. I walk out the room.. Pulling out the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I just can't stop.. I been thinking of YOU a lot lately.. and I needs to go see YOU.. but How.. and as I am standing out.. I would turn to the Left.. I see the Horse.. and it belongs to the Older Man who teaches me.. maybe this time.. and I would look at the Art sketch paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. YOU know that YOU may Not see me.. but I will be at the Palace.. I will only be like a Shadow.. like the wind.. YOU can't see Me.. but YOU know that I am there.. knowing because I love YOU.. and I would Fold the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU in my Back.. and I would walk.. I stop by the Horse.. and I would get back on this Black Horse.. I would hit the Horse likely and the Horse starts to RUN.. as I am riding on the Back of the Horse.. feeling the Wind in my face as the Horse keeps On running down the Road.. all I can think of is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even though I may not be close.. even though you may Not see Me.. I know that as long as I can see YOU.. just seeing YOU from a Far is all I can ask for.. even though I may Not be able to say or tell YOU what My Heart truly feels or expresses to YOU.. as Long as my eyes sees that YOU are doing good.. that is ALL I am asking for.. the Horse keeps On running down the road.. all through the Day.. I see this Horse.. this Black Horse keeps on going.. it feels Like me.. Just cannot stop but keeps On going.. as I would watch the SUN Setting down.. when I look on the side.. I see the waters.. and the Horse would run slowly as it stops.. I give this Horse.. the Black Horse some rest.. I get Off the Horse.. Now.. as I would walk close to the waters.. there are group of guys by the waters.. and I would turn to look at One of the guys.. and I would stand still.. as I would pull the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. and it is killing me inside that I can't be close to YOU.. Now.. one of the guys.. he comes closer and takes a LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and Looks at me.. and I tell Him.. Yes.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU are asking me.. I am a Low Born servant.. and I know I can't even Look at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. who am I to love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am Not suppose to ever put my eyes on YOU.. and the penalty for getting caught is Death.. even though I know that If I break this Law.. But.. if YOU take a LOOK at me.. I am already Dead.. so I have No more fear.. I have already broken this Law and just ready to Die any time SOON.. but what can I do.. if I love YOU.. is this My fault.. How is it my fault if My Heart is the One who is causing this Kind of trouble.. this Kind of problem in my life.. I am just going what My Heart truly Needs.. and the Guy looks at me.. He works at the Palace.. and He is the Palace Guard at the Door.. and I just could Not believe.. he came just for a break with Other friends who works at the Palace.. they are all guards at the door.. and I just could Not believe.. He is going to help me to take to where YOU are.. tells me Not to tell any one because.. My Heart.. WHICH only Loves YOU.. as I would watch the waters on this Night.. I just could Not sleep.. but.. for the Longest time.. it has been so long since I saw YOU.. it is a Picture of YOU when YOU are YOUNG.. Now.. the Guy who came with his friends.. one of them had an Art Sketch Picture.. but it is the recent Picture some one drew.. and the guy's friend showed me.. as I took into my hands.. YOU just blew my Mind.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have become so Beautiful.. when did YOU grew UP looking so Beautiful Like this.. and as I am looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the recent drawing of YOU.. My eyes could Not Help.. but my tears.. it just could NOT let it sit and I felt.. my tears just ran down as I am looking at the recent Picture.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. and I am wondering.. the Guy looks at me.. even his friend Loves YOU too.. I am thinking.. I know there must be More but.. it does Not matter with me.. as the Sun starts to rise.. the Guy.. he came with
MAH MAH.. Into the back gates they go.. as the Horses all slow down.. the Guy who I first talked too.. He gets out of the Horse and He points at the Chamber on TOP.. that is where YOU are.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Other Guard tells me that YOU are not there.. that the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. is at the training ground.. and HE is the One who leads.. as I get off the Black Horse.. walking across on the Other side.. and there is the Fence.. as I walk with the Other Guard.. I would stop.. from the back.. I pull out the Recent.. Art sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. as grown.. I just can't believe you have grown this Much.. so much Prettier and never imagined YOU be this Beautiful in my life.. Now the Other Guard stops and looks back.. I just can't believe.. I am going to see the Crown Princess.. do YOU not see this.. LOOK.. I am at the palace.. and going to get to see closer LOOK at the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is Like a Dream come true.. I was truly worried about.. How am I going to see YOU.. I know that I have No business at the Palace. NO guards are going to let me In but.. it is a true Miracle that I am here.. and get to meet.. the Other Guard looks and smiles.. and He turns to lead the way.. as I am following HIM.. in my hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the RECENT drawing picture of YOU.. and I see the other Guard.. He stands by the fence.. and He stops.. and I am walking.. my Heart.. It is beating so Fast.. why do I feel so excited.. why is My Heart beating.. is it beating or dancing from the Inside.. and I stop by the Fence.. and as I let down the Art Sketch Paper.. the Recent drawing picture of YOU.. I see YOU stand there.. the Other Guard points.. that is the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. who is in control in that training ground.. and I see YOU from the distance.. and there are many MEN.. the new recruits as YOU are the One over seeing and teaching them with the Stick.. and My Heart.. Are you really holding the Sword.. the way of the swordsmanship.. as YOU turn toward the Fence.. YOU see two men.. and YOU stop.. showing the form of the Arts of swordsmanship and LOOKS.. as I see YOU looking at me and the Other guard.. It just can't be.. is it really YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and of course YOU don't know who I am because it has been such a Long time I saw YOU.. and I would kneel.. two knees.. and the Other Guard kneels with me on two knees.. Head Looks on the ground.. arms forward.. and I see YOU are coming.. walking over to the Fence.. and I just can't look at YOU.. why can't I breathe.. why is it so Hard for me to breath and YOU stop by the fence.. and the Other Guard would answer YOU.. and YOU turn to LOOK at me asking me.. and I would lift UP my Head.. and I would LOOK at Your eyes.. DO YOU not remember Me.. right Now I am at the Older man's House.. he is my master my teacher at this Point.. but.. YOU don't remember Me.. and I see YOU looking and with Question.. it is me.. at the Garden.. when YOU came Long ago.. when we were younger.. and my Father who was the Head over the servants.. who served the King but was servant to the CROWN PRINCESS.. which is YOU.. and my Hand went back to Pull out the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I lifted it UP before Your eyes and I see your hands grab hold unto.. DO YOU not remember this Picture.. this Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. when we were little.. before YOU left.. I asked a Boy.. and HE had to get your Permission.. and YOU allowed that BOY to draw YOU and the Boy would give me this Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. the boy say.. I am good to have this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. this drawing picture of YOU.. by the tree.. before YOU told me that YOU could never come back to the Garden.. that WHEN I grew to be older.. for YOU to know.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU told me to bring this to YOU so that YOU will remember who I am.. and it was YOU who allowed me to have this.. to keep this.. that one day when I come to this palace.. when I bring this to show YOU who I am.. YOU will know that it was ME.. the lowly born servant at the garden who never stopped Loving YOU.. I came all the way just to tell YOU that I have grown.. and YES.. that I am going to enter the king's service and to Be a Palace Guard.. so that I can come close to YOU.. to protect YOU and to defend this nation.. I told you this when I was little.. when I was young.. I told YOU.. before YOU left for good.. I told YOU I promise I will come.. and as I am LOOKING UP at YOU from kneeling on two Knees.. YOU looked at me.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see your smile.. so YOU do Remember everything right.. it is that Boy at the garden.. who wanted to give YOU a flower.. Now.. it is Not just a flower.. but I will show YOU a SWORD to protect YOU and this Nation.. and will FIGHT on your Behalf.. the Other guard looks at me.. and As I am looking at the New Recruits.. I would look back.. and I see the Seven Friends who are behind me.. there are two who has been there for me all this time.. the Other Guard who lead me to YOU.. and the First Guard who talk to me at the waters.. Who has been helping me to get closer to YOU.. and as I would LOOK by the Fence.. I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. as I am holding the stick in the Hand.. telling me that I should train these new Men.. the YOUNG MEN who are the recruits.. and as I would pull back.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is when YOU were Little.. the Boy WHO gave it to ME.. who told me that I have the Permission from YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. LOOKING at the Tree.. by the Garden.. I am always thinking about the Garden because it was the first TIME.. when I saw YOU coming.. riding on the Horse.. YOU wanted to see How the Garden feels.. it was when I saw YOU there.. when I started to LOVE you at the Garden.. as I am looking at one of the new Recruit.. He looks at me and swings the WOODEN SWORD at me.. and He misses as I go back.. with the WOODEN SWORD stick I am holding.. I would swing Forward and It hits the new recruit and He falls to the Floor.. to the ground.. I am looking at the Moon.. I just wish that YOU know my Heart.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. I know that I can't go with you right Now.. Because I want YOU to be at the Seat.. to be at Your Throne.. to Rule over and to take the seat that belongs to YOU.. and I am standing by the tree.. on the Hill side top.. looking UP to the sky.. Looking at the stars shining across the sky.. MAH MAH.. I remember when I first stood here.. running UP the Hill when I was a Young Boy.. My Father was standing next to the tree.. and I would yell out loud.. and my Father smiling looking at me Running UP to him.. and I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and I would show my Father.. and He looks at YOU.. that is the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. after My Father passed away.. I remember walking UP the Hill side.. and I would stand next to this Tree.. and I am holding unto the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. and I would turn too look.. I can see the Palace.. It seems so Far away.. and I would be looking UP to the sky.. Looking at the stars shining above me.. and that Moon.. it has never seems to change.. it would appear the same way as being a Young Boy.. But I still had hopes and dreams.. that One day I am going to see YOU.. that One day I am going to hold your hands and to stand by this Tree.. the same tree I would run up and down.. many broken hearts.. broken tears I would cry.. I would be shouting Loud.. Looking across.. Looking at the Palace.. WHY did you have to come into my Heart MAH MAH.. CONG JU NIM.. why do you have to live In my Heart.. it hurts because I love YOU.. I know that I should be more happier than ever to Love YOU.. but instead.. many nights I would shed these tears.. feeling so Lost.. feeling so lonely and just to be loved.. Will the Princess.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. will you ever see my through.. would you ever see my Heart.. can YOU feel the Heart.. the One Heart that I have kept inside which weeps most of the time.. missing YOU.. wanting to be close.. to get close.. to Love YOU.. to held YOU in my arms and to tell YOU.. whisper in your Ears How much I love YOU.. and I would watch the Night.. wondering can My voice ever be heard.. I don't care.. as long as YOU can hear me.. if I tell YOU that I love YOU.. will you want to hear my words.. my voice of telling YOU.. I can tell YOU thousand times.. but will you want to hear it over and over and over again if I tell YOU that for Me.. it is the greatest pleasure to tell YOU from My Heart because I know deep within me I love YOU.. I would even stand by this tree.. when I saw the dark clouds gathered.. I can hear the roaring of the Thunder knowing that it is going to send rain.. showers and heavy rain down on me.. I would watch and wait.. as I feel the wind changing towards me and I start to see the rain drops.. falling from the Sky.. I would be standing by this tree.. Looking across.. looking at the Palace wondering.. If I go to YOU.. will you open your arms out to me.. will you tell me MAH MAH.. I am able to come to YOU.. will you allow me to step into that Palace.. and I would be wondering.. How do I get to that place from where I am standing.. I want to Go.. I want to run to YOU.. I want to be where YOU at.. If I go.. will you accept Me.. will I be invited to stand close to YOU.. and I would start to watch the rain fall.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I remember it was after I saw YOU coming to the Garden
Oink Oink.. I am waiting for the Moon to appear.. in my hands is a Letter I have written for YOU.. but I am waiting for an Angel.. Do you know that I believe in Angels and I would ask if the Angels could Come as I am asking for One to appear before my Eyes.. as I was sitting by the desk.. and I would write.. pulling the Piece of paper before me.. I would be looking at your Picture.. Only if YOU know my Heart.. trying to let YOU know How much I love YOU.. I been practicing writing on this Pieces of Papers.. I would even grab One Piece of paper.. walking to the Mirror in the rest Room.. I am Not a Person who can speak well in speech.. I may not be able to speak right with the Words when it comes face to face.. But I know that I needs to practice my Speech telling YOU and Letting YOU know How much I love YOU.. as I am in the rest Room.. I am Looking at myself the Mirror is in front of me.. I know that I can let YOU see the Letter.. but.. I am alone in this House.. so I would show UP.. looking at myself and trying to Picture YOU standing on the other side.. will I have the Boldness.. WILL I have the courage to Tell YOU what My Heart feels.. WILL you let me speak to YOU about How much I love YOU.. as I am looking at myself.. Looking at the Mirror.. Holding the Piece of paper.. and I would try to talk.. try to speak.. but my Words would Not come Out because I am Looking at Me instead.. but I know that I needs to practice.. practice more to speak to YOU.. to tell YOU.. to have the Guts and Courage.. but I am wondering will YOU even give me Your Ears to listen.. will YOU give me the attention that I need from YOU so that I am able to talk to YOU.. to get something Off my Chest.. letting YOU know what I am thinking.. to Let YOU know that I love YOU.. I would open my Mouth.. and I would start to read from the Letter.. and I would say to YOU.. even though YOU are not here.. But I am envisioning that YOU are here and able to listen to the Words I am telling YOU.. speaking to YOU.. I would say.. I can't get my Mind Off of YOU.. the More I try not to think of YOU.. it seems like it is getting More Harder.. I would take a Look.. and looking into the Picture.. that is the Only One thing I can do.. is to LOOK at you when I have your Picture in my hands.. it has been so hard lately.. because I been alone.. I been writing YOU Letters.. but How can this Letter ever reach YOU.. do YOU even know How much I love YOU.. will you let me tell YOU that I still do Love YOU.. WILL you open your Heart.. open your ears to let me talk.. to let me speak.. will I be nervous to tell YOU if I stand before YOU.. having the Courage to tell YOU.. then I would ask.. will you give me the time and the attention that I needs so that I can tell YOU from My Heart.. Lately.. I been walking to this Mirror.. and I know that One Day soon.. if I do Not practice Now speaking and sharing.. and talking while Looking at the Mirror.. I know that I will never get the chance to tell YOU or say to YOU because I know that WHEN I see YOU.. I want to be well prepared.. I want to be ready to Tell YOU that I have a Love story that Only YOU can hear.. that I can share to YOU.. would you give me Your Time and energy.. your attention is all I am asking for.. all I need so that I can tell YOU.. I been looking.. trying to speak.. because I am not well in speech.. but I do know how to write Many Letters now.. and the Best way.. fastest way for me to reach YOU is by giving YOU this Letter.. I can look at myself and holding UP the Piece of Paper in my hands.. and reading the Letters.. How long can I be doing this.. and I would ask.. How far can it go if only thing I do is read the Letters looking at myself at the Mirror in front of Me.. I would keep on trying.. after sitting down by the desk.. I would pull up the chair.. with the Pencil and write YOU a Letter.. letting YOU know there is so much going On my Mind.. burning inside of My Heart.. that I still Love YOU.. I would pick up the Picture.. taking a Look at YOU.. and always.. it brings me great Love and Joy and Inspires me to write and to tell YOU a Story that I love YOU.. the Only thing that I can do.. the Only thing I can bring out from My Heart.. and I go to face the Mirror.. and I look at myself.. I wish that It be YOU on the other side.. I want to tell YOU.. I want to read the Letter to YOU.. but I am only looking at myself and it breaks my Heart that I am only reading to myself.. But I want this Letter to reach YOU.. so that YOU know my Heart.. my longing has been growing.. missing YOU brings Hate in my Heart cause of the pain that comes with it.. I wish that YOU know that Loving YOU sometimes Hurts me the Most because I miss YOU.. I can't stop thinking of YOU.. going back and forth.. to Sitting by the desk.. writing a Letter.. getting UP from and walking to the rest room.. Holding UP the Letter.. looking at myself looking at the Mirror and reading the Letter Out Loud.. I would look at my self.. and it hurts Me because I miss YOU.. I been missing YOU for such a Long time.. going back to sit.. Looking at your Picture.. my Heart starts to burn inside.. I want this Burn to come across Your Heart.. I wish that YOU can deal with the same Burning and this Pain that is aching inside my Soul.. I feel like it is NO fair sometimes because.. WHY is it that I am the One who has to deal with this Pain of ache.. this Pain of missing YOU and It feels Like YOU do not feel anything on the Other side.. do YOU know that I am waiting for YOU still.. that I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I don't want to spend the time looking at the Mirror and Looking at myself and just reading the letters.. it is NOT for me but for YOU.. so I have decided to change a New Way.. I would wait.. waiting until the SUN goes Down and asking for the MOON to come UP.. I would walk Out side.. and stand alone as I see the Night has approached.. I am holding the Letter In front of Me.. and I have heard that there are Angels WHO is able to listen to an OUT CRY of the Heart when YOU LOVE.. I would stand.. Open the Piece of Paper.. the Letter is in front of Me.. and I started to LOOK UP at the Moon.. but I am Not asking the MOON anything.. but an Angel.. if the Angel can hear me on this very night.. can the Angel be the One to do me a Favor.. I have One wish.. and It is very simple Wish.. to Hear the Heart of Mine crying for YOU.. I know if the Angel can hear the sobbing of my Heart.. my Tears of pains that comes from inside.. if the Angel can hear me and can feel sorry for Me because I am asking for the Angel to Give this Letter to YOU.. I can sit on the ground and weep.. sob in tears for many hours if I have too.. but if an Angel.. who is passing by through My direction and catches me in tears.. I know that the Angel can stop and Looks DOWN from the Sky wondering what is wrong with me.. and I can say to that Angel.. I am man who loves to write Love Story.. but it is a story of YOU.. story of how much I love YOU.. and that I am asking that Angel.. if He can do me a favor.. to give this Letter I have written to YOU.. to send the Message that I been here.. all along waiting for YOU.. if the angel asks.. I would tell that Angel.. I have even tried.. I even went to the rest room.. after I sat on the chair by the desk.. and I would show the angel the Picture of YOU.. and tell the Angel.. who YOU are and I would say to that Angel.. I would write with the pencil on the Piece of paper.. and I would get UP and go to the rest room.. and I would stand looking at the Mirror of myself and I would read the letter that I wrote to YOU.. I been doing that for a while.. but It seems like it has no Hope.. because I am only reading it to myself.. I want YOU to hear me.. hear my voice.. hear my words that I do speak.. I do talk and say.. share what is in my Heart.. but what good is ALL that when YOU can't even hear me.. if YOU just don't know or understand.. and I started to LOOK at myself on that Mirror.. in Pain.. what good is it if I am the Only One who knows it for myself.. so I have decided to walk Out.. and WHEN I saw the Moon.. if I love to stare at the MOON in the Night.. I am sure an Angel can also Love the Moon just like Me and can spend the Night looking at the MOON.. if I can be loud and Clear and if the Angel who is staring at the same MOON I am.. I know for sure.. the Angel can hear me Out.. hear my misery of NOT able to get the Letters to YOU.. Hear this Heart of Mine crying in the Night as I am staring at the MOON.. if the Angel sees Me.. with a Broken Heart and the Longing.. waiting for YOU.. waiting for your answer.. I am sure the Angel can look.. as I would walk Out side.. Not just Once.. but each Night.. two days.. four days.. ten days I am out.. holding the Letter.. and I am looking UP at the MOON.. open my mouth so that YOU can hear me Out Loud.. I am sure after many times of walking with the Letters.. the Angel can see that I am very serious.. I am Not asking Much but it is so simple.. to let YOU know my Heart.. to Let YOU know that I love YOU.. to Let YOU see the Heart of Mine.. that I am falling for YOU.. I need YOU and I need you to know that I love YOU.. that I be missing YOU.. DO you even know that.. can YOU SEE that.. and I know that One night.. with your Picture in my Hand.. and I be looking.. on the Other Hand is the Letter.. after I look at you through the Picture.. My Heart breaks into tears.. and I am missing YOU.. I will say why do I keep on missing YOU.. why must you be so far that it is so Hard for me to reach YOU.. why leave me like this stranded.. why let me die here just to Love YOU.. why do I must crumble and be hurt.. why be so miserable but at the same TIME the Joy to Love.. with this ache that leaves me this Pain.. it Hurts a lot sometimes because YOU are so Far away.. but I want YOU so Near.. so Close that my arms can wrap around YOU.. and to let YOU see the letters
I open the back Door of the Work shop.. and the Garden is here.. I wish that YOU were here so that I can show you something.. something that I been wanting to show YOU.. started to rebuild this Garden just to tell YOU.. just to show YOU my Heart.. Do you remember how much YOU loved Flowers.. YOU are the One who gave me the Dream to work in this Flower Shop.. telling me that when we were Once Young.. back in the Orphan Home.. I came to YOU.. and it was after a time being.. and YOU showed me this Art Piece of paper.. and I remember.. your Both Parents as the Missionaries.. children would RUN.. they would hear from the Lady who owned the House.. with many Little Children who came from Broken Homes.. having NO parents.. having NO ONE who can Love them.. but It was both Your parents who came and spend the Time with these Children.. I would ask for YOU when YOU did Not come.. I heard from your Father says.. YOU have a Big Dreams.. and that YOU are so Busy with daily Life trying to Accomplish the many Big Dreams YOU had.. and One was painting.. How you love to draw and add colors to the Picture YOU drew.. and after a Long time of NOT showing UP.. I guess YOU finally showed UP.. many Months went By.. I do remember sitting by myself.. Out side.. and did Not want to talk to Any One.. I just did Not want to fit in with any one.. I heard the Foot steps walking towards Me.. and stops.. When I lifted UP my Head.. I see YOU.. but WHY did it take YOU so Long to come visit Me.. I would ask.. Your Father.. I would ask.. Your Mother.. why don't you ever Come.. is it because YOU did Not want to see Me.. your Parents be saying the same thing.. YOU are always Busy.. and Now YOU show UP.. when I am down and feel so alone.. WHY did you come to Hurt me.. I would LOOK at YOU with a Smile.. and YOU sat down next to me.. and YOU told me.. YOU been painting.. going into the Art Classes.. learning the Oil Painting.. and I am over here.. feel so Sad.. it must feel so Good to have great Parents who can Help you with Your Future.. but Look at me.. I have NO future.. a broken Heart.. NO family.. no parents who loves Me.. and YOU turn and tells me to Hush UP.. and YOU showed me something.. and told me to take a Look of your Piece of Art.. I am wondering.. and It is so beautiful.. Just Like YOU.. this Flower.. so Beautiful.. and YOU gave me this Piece of Art and you gave me a Smile.. NOW.. I am wondering.. WHY did you give me this Form of Art.. what is it that I do with this.. Just to look at this Piece of Paper with a Flower on it.. and YOU smiled.. and told me to be More Creative with it.. and to Open my Mind and Heart.. something will come Alive.. and as I watch YOU smile and YOU waved your hands at me.. both parents next to YOU as they wanted to go Home.. I stood UP.. and I waved back at YOU.. WHEN will I see YOU again.. is it going to be another year.. maybe even much Later HUH.. and I would look at YOU as YOU go in the back of the Car.. and I see Your parents goes into the car and the Car starts to drive away.. and I start to run.. chasing after the Car and I see you turn to LOOK back of the window and My tears were falling out of my Eyes.. what If I keep on missing YOU.. what if this Piece of Art does Not heal my Heart and I would see the Car NO more.. and I stop.. crying.. wiping my tears.. and I turn the Other way.. and I am Looking at this Piece of Art.. the Flower YOU painted.. and what is the name of this Flower.. and where can I find this Kind of Flower.. is it possible for me to get this Kind of Flower.. I mean.. what if I start to sell this Kind of Flower.. will you come.. will you show UP and see and I would lift UP the Piece of Art.. the Flower Painting.. and I would stand and think about what YOU said.. to Open my Mind.. and to Open my Heart.. to think and dreams.. and do WHAT.. I stood still.. do What.. and I would walk slowly to the Orphan Home.. just thinking about what I should do.. be Creative.. and I would walk into the House asking myself.. do what.. as I am on the Back of the Work Shop.. in my hand is the Piece of Art.. the Flower painting YOU gave me when I was YOUNG.. and I am looking at this Small bed.. and I see Flowers growing on this Bed of ground.. and I would lower my self.. LOOKING at the Piece of Art.. and the Flower Painting and I would look at these Live Flowers in the Bed of the Ground.. It has been a long ways of Coming.. and I am waiting for the Flowers to grow and mature to the Full Bloom.. adult Flowers.. and I would stare at these flowers.. and I see the Forms and I am seeing the Shape.. it is becoming More Like the Piece of Art.. the Flower Paintings I am holding in my hands.. YOU told Me.. When I was sitting Down Alone.. and I felt like NO ONE else cared about Me.. I heard the Foot steps walking.. and stopped in front of Me.. when I lifted UP my Head.. my eyes.. I was truly Amazed of HOW Beautiful.. so Lovely in form.. my eyes met Your eyes and I wanted to tell YOU.. which left me speechless to share at that Moment.. I wanted to tell YOU and say to YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. so Amazingly Beautiful.. My words.. my Lips.. my mouth just could Not speak the Language to tell YOU what My Heart was feeling at that Moment but I was truly Blown away.. like this Piece of Art.. so Beautiful.. like this Flower Painting.. YOU are so Beautiful.. what More Words can I say to YOU that Night when my eyes met YOURS.. it seemed like YOU were never going to show UP.. but when YOU did Come from Nowhere.. I couldn't be angry any more.. I couldn't tell YOU I been waiting for YOU all this time because it was like this Painting of the Flower.. AMUSE and AMAZING to me.. I never thought that YOU would share.. I only thought you were just going to tell me YOU were going to leave again.. But it was that Night.. when YOU stood and YOU sat next to me.. and YOU opened my eyes.. and Opened my heart telling me to be More creative with myself.. I never knew what that meant.. what does it means to be More creative.. but when YOU start to Love in your Heart.. when I started to Love YOU more.. just Out of nowhere things came into my Mind and into my Heart.. just Like that NIGHT.. YOU showed me.. the value what it means to be More Creative with YOURSELF.. YOU showed me a Piece of Art.. and the Flower Painting.. I sat down confused.. did Not know what I am suppose to do with this Piece of Art.. am I suppose to eat this Piece of Art.. it is a Piece of Paper but when YOUR MIND and HEART.. and YOU open it with being with creative and YOU showed me that It starts with the true Meaning of Love.. teaching Me how to love YOU.. AM I getting good.. am I getting better with It because I really Love YOU.. I remember when YOU told me that YOU had Big Dreams and it made me Sad because I started to feel sorry for myself.. because I could Not dream.. I was at the MOST lowest Place.. started to think about the Situation but YOU have made me believe again and it started with Loving YOU.. maybe YOU felt that Night.. that I been asking for YOU.. when Your Both parents came.. and I would Open the Door.. I see the Car outside.. and I am so excited they came because I knew if they Came.. you could also come TOO.. but I would watch through the Window.. there was NO sign of YOU there with them.. I would be at the Door.. and Opened for your Father to walk in.. I felt so Little and so Small because Your Father is such a Great MAN of God.. who loves Us the Children and came to serve and to teach.. and I would be always asking for YOU.. and I knew that I could Not dream when I saw your Father.. the way he looked at me.. but I would still ask.. where are YOU.. where is the Daughter.. but.. always saying YOU are so busy.. it broke my Heart.. I guess your parents notice that we were getting just too close.. when the Days you came with your parents.. YOU would always show me the Different Pictures YOU drew and painted.. all these Flowers YOU would come.. and told me How long it has taken YOU to drew on the sketch paper.. and had to paint with the Oils.. mixing the Colors and the Mind and Heart of creating something.. Your Eyes would Lid UP when I would look and say.. it is so Beautiful.. this Flower Painting.. can I have this One too.. it is because I believe One day I can sell it.. and I am sure a Buyer will Love it to hang on the Walls to show Off who is the Great Oil Painter.. and I would watch you smile as I would share that.. we would both smile a lot when YOU came.. a BOX.. when YOU open.. all the brushes uses for the Oil Painting.. mirrors and the Note Book.. art sketch paper you would bring to show Me.. and I would sit and stare.. My Heart.. and I guess Your Parents started to notice that we were just too close.. but that very Night.. when YOU came with the Final Piece of Art and YOU Showed Me.. it was your heart that was giving me something.. I know that YOU may think that it may not be Much.. but what matter to me the Most are these little things I cherish in the Memories.. YOUR presences means everything.. your Smile and the Gestures YOU give.. and even when YOU show UP with the Piece of Art.. the Flower Paintings and YOU would show it to me.. telling me to Open my Mind.. to Open my Heart.. to be More creative.. I did Not know what YOU were talking about.. but it is the Giving of Your Heart which finally got to Me.. I was blinded of receiving just too much that I just did NOT care about the behind of what is happening in those curtain moments but when YOU told me.. the last day.. I knew that It meant something More.. when I saw the real YOU of the giving of your Heart.. it got me by Nowhere because it was the Day.. I saw you in the back of the car and Your Father
It was YOU who I was loving all this TIME.. asking For YOU.. when YOU father stood tall.. looking at me.. I would be asking for YOU first.. I never knew then but when I think of it Now.. it is because I been loving YOU.. just did Not want to show it and say it was true.. but it was on that very night.. when YOU sat next to me.. showing me the Final Piece of Art.. the Flower painting.. even though I thought you would come back soon.. when YOU spoke of the words.. to be more Creative.. to Open my eyes.. My MIND and My Heart.. I would sit that very night in the room.. the children were sleeping in the Beds.. but I could Not sleep that very Night.. I would be sitting on the top of the bed.. just LOOKING at the Final Piece of Art work.. the Flower Painting YOU gave me.. just trying to think about be Open for What.. what Happens when YOU open Your Heart.. and your Mind.. Open your eyes.. what happens next.. what does It means to be more creative.. and that is when I knew.. when YOU start to Love.. it is when YOU can truly show HOW you can express something in your Heart.. In your Mind and Open your eyes and be more creative with It.. as I saw this as I was looking at the Final Piece of Art Work of Yours.. I could Not help it but cried looking at it.. because I knew it my Heart.. this means good BYE right.. it means YOU are Never going to come back to this Orphan Home.. and I would cry in the silent of the NIGHT on the bed.. looking at this Piece of Art work of Yours.. my Heart was touched.. it drove me crazy because NOW I know what it means to Love YOU.. then How can YOU stop.. because YOU can Only Love the One who can truly show YOU how to Love.. or who Knows How to love.. and I wanted to Love YOU more.. if YOU are able to show me something that YOU love the Most.. that Means YOU know How to Love.. I want to love YOU because I know that a person who gives can receives too.. so I want to be the One to give it all now to YOU.. so that YOU can feel how much I love YOU.. that It may Not be too Much.. It may be so Small and simple but I do Love YOU.. How can I let YOU know how much I love YOU since Now YOU showed me that YOU can Love.. let me Love YOU.. as I am Looking at the Garden.. my eyes are filled with Tears.. I ache inside because I want to show YOU.. Not just show YOU but tell YOU.. How can I tell you something if I can't even show it to YOU.. that Is why I have come back to this Work shop.. I am here in the back of the Garden.. there is the back DOOR.. and a bed of Ground.. I am here looking at the Flowers which are growing because YOU have given me something to Love and to dream.. TO BE more Creative.. to Open my Mind.. to Open my Heart.. it is YOU who showed me and taught me HOW to Love and I just want to give it ALL back to YOU by saying I love YOU..I am looking at the door.. as I open the Door.. walking into the Work shop.. the Smell of the Place.. I have missed this place so Much.. but there is One thing that is Missing.. It is YOU.. only if YOU were here with me.. the painting on the wall.. and How all the things have set in and Now ready to Open the shop once again.. but.. when YOU were here with Me.. and how you came.. YOU were going to school.. I remember YOU came to the Work Shop as a Part time.. and wanted to help me.. I remember YOU wanted to be a Doctor.. always had a Big Dream to help people and save many lives and go out on the Mission trips to help the Poor and needy people.. and telling me these things.. I was filled in awe of YOU.. and YOU asked me if I remembered You.. of course it was long ago when I saw YOU as a Young girl.. but it seemed like YOU have never forgotten me.. I remember I would ask of YOU to come and help me at this Work Shop and I was selling Flowers in this Work Shop.. never imagined that I would meet you.. you were grown and more matured going into the University.. to become a Doctor.. as I would hire YOU to work with Me.. YOU asked me.. do I remember this One Picture.. as I would stand on the Other side of the counter.. It was a drawing picture.. and YOU showed me.. and when I got hold.. my both hands grabbed the Art sketch paper and it was a drawing of a Flower.. It made me jump when I saw the drawing picture of the Sun Flower.. and I turn to look back.. and On the wall.. I would look at the same sketch paper and It was drawn by YOU.. and I remember YOU turn to look at the wall.. and I remember YOU would walk closer to the wall and YOU would look at the art sketch paper.. the same Flower.. the Sun Flower YOU drew for me.. and I see your hand touch over the paper and YOUR Head turns to look at me and I would tell you.. Yes.. I do remember this Paper.. the Art sketch paper.. YOU gave it to me when YOU were a lot younger.. do YOU NOT remember the time.. and as I would stand alone in this Work Shop.. I am standing and staring at the wall.. the Art Sketch Paper is on the wall still.. the Same Flower.. the Sun Flower YOU drew for me.. as I stood in the silent.. the two lines of tears would roll down my eyes.. my hand touch my chest.. It hurts right here.. I wish that YOU knew this Heart of Mine.. that it hurts when I stand here alone.. without YOU here.. it feels like even I can take a look at that Art sketch paper.. watching it here alone.. it Hurts me More because all I needed is YOU.. all I need is YOU to be here but I know that I stand alone right Now.. but I need you here with me right Now.. as I look at the Art sketch paper.. and I would walk closer to the wall.. my hand touch over the Art sketch paper.. I miss YOU.. without YOU I feel like My Heart hurts.. why couldn't YOU cut my chest Open.. why couldn't YOU get rid of My Heart.. Now I feel like I am sick again.. DO I needs to go as a Patient to visit YOU.. but this TIME.. I am Not going to leave alone.. I want to leave with My Heart with YOU.. so that I don't need to feel this Way.. it Hurts.. It hurts me so bad because I am missing YOU right Now.. why did YOU have to come at the Most hardest times of my Life.. why did YOU have to come and Now.. take my smiles away.. as I close both of my eyes.. I would go back as a Young Boy.. I am crying.. sitting on the ground.. receiving a Letter from a relative of Mine.. the Letter speaks about how my family Died in the burning of the fire House.. My family was very poor and they could not take care of me.. as a Relative holding my hand takes me away.. I am crying and crying walking away from the farm House.. My Heart keeps on breaking.. why.. why does My Life has to be so Sad.. why have to be so broken.. now.. I just received a Letter from the same relative who was holding my hand.. taking me away and telling me I am Now an Orphan Boy.. as I read the Letter.. I learned how to read from the Lady who owns this House.. as I was sitting.. I hear foot steps walking.. and it stops.. as I lifted UP to take a LOOK.. YOU are so Beautiful.. in a red dress.. in a red shoes.. I see YOU stand there.. and YOU would sit right next to Me.. why did YOU have to come at this Point.. I was reading a Letter.. which It broken me down into tears.. having NO more family.. being abandoned and Broke.. having NO future.. I see YOU coming Out of No where.. but Like an Angel YOU sat next to Me.. and I remember YOU would be asking why I be crying.. and I would give YOU the Letter.. if you could read.. I give you the permission for YOU to read what the relative wrote to me.. and I would be crying in silent.. as the MOON came Out.. and I can hear YOU breathe hard.. I know.. that is how I felt when I first read the Letter.. My Heart keeps on hurting Me.. It hurts me more because Now I have told YOU a secret that I just never told any one.. I am angry for being taken away.. and how I am abandoned by the family.. I am dirty and poor.. I have NO body to talk too.. and I would hear YOU trying to cheer me UP.. and I wanted to run away.. DID NOT be a part of this Orphan Boy.. but then where would I go if I leave here.. and I do remember at the Moment.. YOU pulled Out something and YOU showed me the Art Sketch Paper.. and YOU be sharing How you are taking an Art class.. and to see your drawing.. as I turn.. My hands grab hold unto and I would look at the Picture of the Art sketch paper.. I would look at the Sun Flower.. finger points WHY this Kind of flower you drew.. I remember you be sharing that is your Most Favorite Flower in the world.. that when YOU feel so sad.. YOU would go to the garden.. and YOU would go see this Flower.. and Hoping that I too can smile once again.. as I would look at this Picture.. I started to cry some More.. it hurts Me.. I have NO more family now.. NO ONE I can call Mother or Father any More.. this Picture.. How can it help me at this Point of my Life when I have lost every thing.. but YOU told me.. that NOW.. I may not see it or understand it.. but later On.. I will get it.. when time heals my Heart.. I will start to love this Flower and will Love once again.. and Yes.. YOU were right.. It did Not take me too long to get back on my feet once again.. I would be looking at this Picture.. wondering.. where can I find this Flower.. where can I go to see this Flower.. for a long time I been thinking about this Flower because I grew to Love it.. why.. because It came from YOU.. YOU remind me of SUN FLOWER so much.. the More YOU think about it.. the More you see it.. YOU grow more into it.. and I would find a Way.. to make a Mission to search about this Flower.. and I would start.. as I am standing alone.. this Work SHOP.. I would only think about YOU.. I wanted to share how much I love YOU.. and that is why I opened this Work Shop.. dedicating the Flower.. when YOU feel like YOU are dead inside.. the Hope to smile Once more.. Your Courage and How YOU helped me to bounce back.. I wanted
Time.. but when the Door opened and YOU came in.. the early years.. I saw YOU.. but of course I did Not recognize YOU at first.. I remember it is when YOU showed me the Drawing.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing of the Sun Flower.. I knew that It was YOU.. I did Not want YOU to come close to me at first.. because I knew what was in my Heart.. I did Not want you to work with me at first because what if I love YOU more.. I will get hurt because I knew what was in my Heart.. loving YOU is the Most beautiful thing but also it hurts me at the same time.. I have a Broken Heart already.. of losing my family on the Burning of the Farm House.. when YOU stopped visiting me.. I would think.. maybe YOU did Not want to get close to Me.. was it because I gave you the Letter.. was it because I shared you a Letter about the passing of the family.. wasn't it YOU who be asking to see what the Letter was written about.. I only wanted you to know a glimpse so that YOU can at least understand me where I am coming from.. I just did Not get it at first because I wanted you to be close.. that is why I opened UP to you and to show you the side where I would crumble at the Most.. but.. I think I made the mistake of revealing too much of the Downer side what I felt at that Point.. but.. I do remember.. watching YOU looking at the wall.. I would be holding the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of the Sun Flower.. I would freeze from the Inside as my eyes saw the Same drawing.. of course I dedicated all my Heart and energy because I loved YOU.. I loved YOU because YOU came at the most hardest and difficult times of my Life.. trying to cheer Me up.. it was so Beautiful.. and so moving at my Heart.. NO ONE has ever down.. to show the care and the tender side which NO ONE wanted to give.. crying alone.. I would be sitting on the bed.. looking at the Drawing.. the Art sketch paper.. the SUN FLOWER.. NO ONE has ever done this for me.. why was it YOU.. why did YOU even care.. and I wanted to give Back to share back.. to let someone who feels like me to smile Once more.. what you gave it something that NO MONEY can buy.. as ALL the Boys were sleeping in One room.. I sat alone.. leaning on the wall.. could NOT sleep that Night.. but kept on looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing of the SUN FLOWER.. I wanted to know.. what does IT means to love.. I want to love and choose to love instead.. I don't want to be hurt or be hurting Others any more.. and I wanted to have answers of the One Question that was in my Heart.. and It was with this ONE SIMPLE picture but it came from YOUR Heart that answered everything.. as I would look at the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing of the Sun Flower.. I knew that I had to do something.. that One day YOU will know that I love YOU.. maybe not at the Point but some day YOU will know how much I love YOU by sharing what YOU have given Me and what you have done to Me.. as I would look.. the Work Shop.. Looking at the Paper.. the Art sketch.. the drawing of the Sun Flower.. back is the Garden.. and Now.. there are More than Thousand Sun Flowers in the Back.. in the Garden.. ready to be given and ready to be sold.. when YOU came into the Work Shop.. I was blown into pieces because YOU looked a lot like someone who I loved.. but did NOT wanted to ask you if YOU were.. because YOU could of been someone else but NOT YOU.. when YOU shared the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing of the Sun Flower and I turn to face the Wall.. the same drawing YOU given me when I was a young Boy.. who was hurting.. who just read a Letter of the Lost and dead family.. YOU were like an Angel who gave me Life to live again.. I do remember when YOU asked me if YOU could work here.. I told YOU NO at first.. I did Not want you to come close because I know that something could happen.. I wanted you close deep in my Heart.. but.. I did not want you too close.. I am already Hurt.. I do not want to be hurt again but I did miss YOU so much that My Heart was crying inside.. I did Not want to tell YOU this at all.. because I did Not want to see you go.. I remember YOU told me that YOU will be back.. and I had to let YOU go that day you came.. YOU just do not know how heavy I felt inside.. It broke me down into tears again.. asking myself.. why did I let YOU go like this.. what if YOU will never show UP.. what if I will not see YOU again.. what if I end up dying like this instead.. and I just could not help myself and blamed myself for letting you walk away like this.. what if YOU never come back to me.. and I be dumb like this of letting YOU go when I know deep inside I love YOU.. I was just too afraid to let YOU IN because I loved YOU just too much.. I am looking at you.. I just could not believe that YOU are now a doctor.. a Heart surgeon.. of course I came here to get my Heart to be removed.. I wanted another Heart Surgeon because.. Can you handle doing the surgery.. planting into a different Heart.. a Heart from someone else.. What would you do if I don't recognize YOU any more.. what will you do if I start to love another whose Heart has been loving.. But.. I don't want to lose YOU.. How can I live without YOU.. How can I breathe if I can't love YOU any more.. but all this Time.. I have been only loving YOU.. YOU are the Only One who I been missing.. I been crying over looking at the empty wall.. walking into the Work Shop.. I been missing YOU.. missing your Presence.. just missing your smile.. can YOU handle me.. putting me into the deep sleep.. as YOU cut my chest wide open.. I know that YOU are more experience in this kind of work.. If you are the Doctor.. because I asked for a well experienced.. well established with multiple years of experience.. I don't want my Heart to be broken.. I don't want my Heart to be dropped on the floor.. It has been with me all of my life.. ever since I was born.. ever since I was a young Boy.. when I first saw YOU.. I cried.. I started to cry after YOU left.. YOU promised me that YOU will be back.. and I felt my Heart.. I did not know what it was at the first touch.. I just could not stop.. but I would kept on crying through the Night.. that is when I could Not sleep.. I kept on thinking of YOU.. over and over.. turning and tossing.. all of the children at the Orphan House.. they were all sleeping good.. I sat on top of the bed.. wondering.. why couldn't I sleep like the Other children.. I do remember you gave me your picture.. I saw both of your parents with YOU.. and I do remember.. being so Poor.. without any parents.. living with bunch of poor children.. who had No homes.. only could gather with each other.. I looked at YOU.. I would smile.. I could never smile living with bunch of these children.. they were all dirty like Me.. pushing and shoving.. kicking and screaming.. and there was No peace.. When I heard the Old Woman.. the Care taker says to the Children.. a Missionary family is coming.. to help Us.. to help educate and give Us books to read.. and toys to play with.. of course.. it was YOU and your Parents who came.. I knew that I should of stopped myself right when I met YOU.. I don't know why I asked for your picture that day.. before YOU were leaving.. and as I was crying.. I wanted to be a Part.. so I asked for YOUR picture.. when YOU told me that YOU are going to give me One.. and That smile.. you pulled out and told me that this is the Only One.. the best Picture you have taken.. I saw your Smile.. and YOU told me.. behind the Picture is your Address.. and If I wanted a friend to share my Heart.. to write YOU a Letter.. I do remember watching YOU leave.. Your Father and Mother holding your Hands as YOU leave.. I would be waving with tears in my eyes.. I felt so Alone.. I felt so cold.. I felt so Poor.. and I would fall both on my knees.. and Weeping as I take a Look at your Picture.. why do you have to leave so Soon.. Are you going to come to visit me and the children.. and both hands holding the side of the Picture.. YOU are so Beautiful.. and I be looking with tears.. wiping my tears with my hand.. I feel so Alone.. I feel so sad because My Heart.. is it going to break like this.. My Heart keeps on breaking because YOU know how much I love you right.. and I do remember that Night.. I just could not sleep.. and sitting on the top of the Bed.. I pulled out Your Picture.. and I would look.. and I do remember what YOU said.. to write YOU when I needed a friend.. and I would get Out of the Bed and I walked to the desk.. and I sat down to write.. as I am laying.. I am looking at YOU.. as a Doctor.. as the Heart Surgeon.. I should of Not come to this Hospital.. What are you going to do with My Heart.. I don't want you to take my Heart away.. if I can't love you any more.. I rather ask for another Doctor.. I guess the main reason is to forget YOU.. and Let my Heart be taken away and Let someone else have My Heart.. But when I saw YOU.. if YOU were another Doctor.. another Heart Surgeon.. then I think it would been so much easier to go with the proceed to do the surgery but.. I feel like My Heart Now just can't go.. it has been such a Long time since I saw YOU.. and for the longest Time.. I have been missing YOU.. but Now.. I just can't give My Heart away with YOU becoming the Doctor.. the Heart Surgeon.. I been to the Work Shop lately.. and started a Project.. to rebuild that Work Shop.. it has been broken and abandoned for a Long time.. I just could Not work there any more.. for some reason I would see YOU.. even though YOU were never there.. there would be a Lot of pictures I would put on the walls.. that is before YOU left.. taking many pictures of YOU.. a lots of laugh.. lots of crying but more smiles On my face when YOU were there with Me.. I wanted to go back.. I started to miss you ever since I left because I kept on thinking of YOU.. I would go
Few more times.. and I started to think about YOU at the Work Shop.. what If you would be back.. even though I knew that YOU would never come around.. but I kept on thinking.. YOU could just visit.. but if YOU walked into the Work Shop all Broken and Abandoned.. then I know that YOU will Not come around ever again.. because NO ONE knows what will happen next.. so I started to make a Plan.. to remodel.. and to re build that Building.. just in case One day.. some day soon you can come.. and YOU will know that it has never been broken down.. as I gathered some workers.. spend days.. spend weeks and into the months.. new paintings.. putting UP the fences.. and even started to go back into the garden.. planting new seeds to bring into the life.. after it was all completed.. and the work shop was back on business.. I went in to work again.. of course there was something missing as I started to work in that shop.. it was YOU.. it felt like I cannot never get YOU back.. since you left long ago.. How can I bring YOU back if YOU have already left.. I would look at the wall.. the Wall with Your Pictures.. many of the Pictures I would post to share.. as I would start to look at Your Pictures.. Just memories of YOU came flashing through my Mind.. I knew that if I wanted to continue to run this Business.. I needed to get Rid of My Heart.. I knew that only if My Heart goes.. I can work in this Work Shop without missing YOU so Much.. that is the Only way I knew that I can continue.. that is when I decided to go into the surgery.. that I wanted to let My Heart to go.. I asked for the Best Doctor.. the Heart Surgeon with the Best experience.. of course never thought that It would be YOU walking into this Room.. even though I want YOU to do the Surgery.. I just can't Lose YOU.. after I see YOU now.. and How well YOU are in Life.. I think I just can't let My Heart go.. and I am looking at YOU.. I do need My Heart to be replaced.. but what would happen if I don't love you any More.. I am sure Now you are doing good with another Man.. can YOU still do the Heart surgery.. Now the Person who is going to exchange with my Heart comes into the Room and sits on another Bed.. and I turn to look at the Person.. I just can't believe it.. the Man turns to look at me.. I am not sure if I know this Man but the Man looks at me.. He is the friend who has taken YOU away.. I am wondering.. why is this Man in the same bed.. He wants his Heart to be removed just Like me.. and I am wondering.. I don't want His Heart.. I rather keep My Heart.. He has a Broken Heart too.. and I look at YOU.. I am wondering.. what is going On and Now YOU are telling me.. the relationship has ended on Both.. and that YOU are single.. and I am thinking.. Am I suppose to be happy or suppose to be Sad.. are YOU sad.. is that WHY you have become a Heart Surgeon.. WHO has Not been loving YOU well.. YOU know that If YOU are removing all Kinds of Hearts.. is it because someone has broken YOUR HEART or are you breaking Hearts and switching Hearts to different People.. because I don't want Another Broken Heart.. can I have YOUR HEART instead.. How about YOU can do the surgery on Me and I want to Have YOUR HEART in me so that I can say to YOUR HEART.. I can Love you more than any.. I know that YOU have already Broken Me Heart Once.. I don't need another Broken Heart in Me.. that is why I want Your Heart.. I know that YOUR HEART does Not break because YOU fix Hearts.. that is why I loved YOU for a Long time.. as I would pull out the Picture.. and I am Looking at the Picture when YOU were YOUNG.. next to the Picture is the First Letter you wrote me.. and I would open the Letter and I would turn to YOU and I would read it Out loud.. this is what YOU wrote Me.. when I could Not sleep.. when I met YOU the first time.. and I asked for YOUR Picture.. YOU gave me this Picture.. with Your Address in the back asking me.. If I needed a Friend that I can write YOU any time.. so I wrote.. and This is what YOU wrote me and I cried.. as I am looking at YOU.. my tears are flowing down my eyes and I started to read to you with tears rolling down my eyes.. and I would say to YOU.. this was why I started to Love YOU.. you wrote when I was at the Most Lowest of the time of my Life and has fixed this Broken Heart by telling me all of this.. I been waiting for YOU.. but YOU never came.. the door was never locked because it is YOU who I been waiting for.. I would be working in the Flower Shop.. waiting if YOU would ever show UP.. but you would never come.. It broke my Heart because what If YOU would stop by.. even just for Once.. I was Not asking for a long time.. even just for few seconds.. it would been enough for Me.. but YOU never came.. working in the Flower Shop without YOU was the most difficult thing for Me because I would be waiting.. even though I knew deep in my Heart that YOU would never show UP.. just hoping that it would be you who would knock on the door.. asking for me to open that door in the Work Shop.. in that flower Work Shop.. I would cry many nights of thinking of YOU.. just remembering all of the memories we shared together in that Shop.. I would watch YOU with the camera.. lights flashes as YOU would take pictures of the Flowers.. asking me about how it grew.. the place where I would planted in the soil.. I would even take you to the spots.. back in the garden.. where YOU would see the flowers in full bloom.. matured and sprung UP for YOU to take a look.. YOU would smile.. I would watch YOU holding that camera in front.. as I would watch YOU looking through the camera Lens and taking pictures of the flowers back in the Garden.. I wanted to Hold YOU.. I wanted to Pull you closer to me.. around my arms I wanted to feel YOU inside.. but I would stop myself of getting closer to YOU.. I wanted to get close.. I wanted to walk and stand beside YOU.. just to feel for seconds.. How you would feel in my arms.. How would you breathe.. How about the sound of the beating of Your Heart.. can I hear it.. will my Heart also make the same sound of Your Heart.. I wanted to get close.. just to see how it would feel.. YOU in my arms.. I wanted you near.. I wanted you close.. I was so close because I would walk but I would stop to step back.. It hurts me because I wanted to feel YOU in my arms.. But I just could not get closer.. Because I knew that YOU would push me to say Back Off.. Just Now How it feels.. Just thinking about YOU.. brings so Much Joy and happiness.. I would smile a lot.. My Heart be moving in a way I just can't control.. my emotions just wants to pour Out to YOU.. I want to stop.. I can't control myself because It has been Hard lately.. Missing YOU is so Hard.. at the same Time.. it brings me a lot of tears.. that I can't stop myself crying.. I don't want to show YOU any more tears.. but It hurts to know that YOU don't want to come close.. so Far.. so Near.. so Close.. the distance between Us.. leaving me to Be hurt.. missing YOU all the time.. but I want to get close.. NO Matter How I feel.. as long as it is YOU.. I will always Love YOU.. don't ask me why do I keep on hurting myself but still loves YOU.. as I am sitting on the Chair.. I am looking at Your Picture.. it is YOU when YOU were with me at the Flower Shop.. holding a flower in Your Hand.. with such a Beautiful Smile.. I remember that it was the day I wanted to show YOU the New Flowers that has been reached the Full Bloom stage.. it was back in the Garden.. the Same camera you were using to take many pictures of the flowers.. I would ask YOU.. take one of the Flowers from the Bed in the back of this Garden.. I watched you lower yourself.. grabbed and pulled the Flower Out.. and telling me that it is this One.. that it is the Most Beautiful One.. Your Favorite and I do remember leading YOU back into the Flower Work Shop.. YOU were standing by the wall.. and Holding the flower in your Hand.. I would have the Camera in my hands.. My eye would look through the lens of the Camera.. I would see YOU.. my finger stopped at the Button.. because what if this be the last picture I could take from this Camera.. this Fear came all over me.. shaking and trembling from the Inside.. I stopped my finger to press.. YOU were wondering why I could not click the Button.. My Heart would skip.. trying to find if there is a Beat.. I would take a deep breathe and my finger presses the Button and the light switches and it takes the Picture of YOU.. when I put the Camera Down.. I am looking at the Wall.. in the Flower Work Shop.. I only see the wall.. I don't see YOU there.. and with me is the Same Picture.. it was the last time I took the picture of YOU because the Next day.. YOU told me that YOU are not going to work with me at the Flower Shop.. that YOU have find someone that YOU love.. and that YOU are going with Him.. and I felt my world turn upside down.. I felt that everything be crumbling.. I saw YOU leave as the Door closes behind me.. I would sit on the Floor.. I would cry Loud and wail More.. I just couldn't control these emotions when it is torn apart.. I would Beat with my hand on my Chest.. I would Hit it so Hard.. I just couldn't stop hitting my Chest.. wanting to Pull my Heart out.. It hurts me because all I see is YOU.. YOU leaving me behind and I am left alone at the Flower Work Shop.. everything began to fall apart.. I started to drink a lot.. heavy into drinking.. crash and burn.. falling apart and falling down.. I just don't wanted to get UP any more.. I just couldn't handle this Kind of Pain.. it was killing me from the Inside.. How can I erase this Pain that is eating me from the Inside.. How can I get rid of this Kind of Hellish Pain.. I just wanted to Die.. for years I felt this way.. I felt like I wanted to give UP.. but.. for some reason.. if I truly love YOU.. I know that I needs to get back UP and try to live.. try to live the best I can.. so that One day I am able to see YOU again and the Day I see YOU.. I will never
Shop.. as I walked inside the Work Shop.. I would stand there alone.. LOOKING at the Wall where YOU would stand.. I would look at the empty Wall.. looking at the picture of YOU holding.. the same spot.. you were standing with a smile holding the flower.. the Last time I saw YOU is when I took this Picture.. it hurts Me more.. I would.. the Flower Work Shop was dark and I would be standing alone.. crying looking at the Picture of YOU.. which it was the last time YOU stood by this Wall.. and I just can't let YOU go.. WHY is it me who has to let it Go.. why is it YOU who has to hurt Me.. why can't I ever hurt you and I would look at the Wall.. where YOU would stand the last time and I would scream because my Heart.. It wanted to shatter into pieces.. WHY did YOU have to leave me for someone else.. WHY can't YOU ever know how much I love YOU.. why don't you see me.. WHY can't you see me as the Person who loves you the Most.. and I would again cry.. looking at the wall.. after looking at the Picture of YOU where YOU once stood by this wall.. I would fall to the ground.. and I just can't.. why can't I just let YOU GO.. it is killing me so Bad.. why can't I let YOU GO.. what is it about YOU holding unto me.. like a stronghold.. and I would cry loud.. wailing.. hitting my hand against my chest.. It hurts me just too much because I want to be loved by YOU.. why can't YOU see me for once.. HOW ABOUT ME.. you know that I can love YOU better.. YOU know that I can love YOU more.. I can even love you stronger.. just please give me a chance.. just one chance.. as I am waiting in the Room in the clinic Office.. I know that I may not live for Long.. because My Heart is broken.. It has been shattered into many little pieces.. YOU have broken my Heart.. If I can't fix my Heart.. what am I going to do with this Shattered of pieces broken Heart that is in me.. If I can't fix it.. Maybe the Doctor can help me to fix IT.. what if the Doctor can't fix my Heart.. I am going to ask the Doctor to go me a Surgery.. because what am I going to do with this Broken Shattered Heart.. I can at least donate it to someone else.. give me a New Heart.. someone else can take my Place.. can Have this Heart.. that someone else can Love YOU instead because I know that I can't.. I don't even know where YOU at so how can I love YOU when YOU are NO where to be found.. and I am lost somewhere.. and I would be sitting on this Chair.. LOOKING at the Picture of YOU.. I sit in silence just thinking of the Flower Work Shop.. I want to go back with YOU.. can YOU please go back with me to this Flower work Shop.. I want to live again.. I want to feel that I am alive again.. I want to breathe again because without YOU.. just look at me at this Point in my Life without YOU.. and as I am looking at the picture.. waiting for the doctor to come into this room.. I am looking at your Picture and speaking to the Picture.. the door Opens but it stops.. I am thinking.. maybe it is another patient who just came into the wrong room and I would open my Mouth.. as I am looking at the picture of YOU.. can we please go back to the Flower Work Shop.. do YOU know that I am still there.. I just could Not move on because I would think about.. what If.. Just in case YOU show UP one day.. what If you come.. what if YOU change your Mind.. what if I come across Your Mind one night.. One Day.. what If you miss Me.. how about if YOU love me.. Not sure why I would think of it that Way but what if you show UP.. I had many chances to leave that Flower work shop.. My friends came.. trying to convince me.. telling me to leave it behind me.. let it be my History.. and I would try to leave that Flower Work Shop.. but always in the back of my Head.. I would be thinking of YOU.. if I do leave.. what if YOU show UP when I do really leave.. then I know that I can't never see YOU again.. I don't want that to ever happen because I miss YOU and I love YOU.. that is why I just can't let it go now.. because I love YOU just too much.. I have been there.. just waiting for the Door to be opened.. for YOU to knock on the door and when I open the door to that Flower Work shop and WHEN I open to see who it is.. I wanted to smile to see YOU there.. standing there.. just giving me even few seconds of your presences.. just to say I love YOU.. just to say I missed YOU.. or to say welcome back.. because I just can't let YOU GO.. Because I never stopped loving YOU.. even now I love you still.. I been waiting so that I can tell YOU how much I love YOU.. as I look up.. I hear the door closed.. and I am thinking.. this whole time the door was opened.. I wonder who it is who hear me speaking to Your Picture.. I wonder who it is.. and the door Opens.. my hand opens and the picture falls to the ground because it is YOU who is standing by the door.. That YOU are the Doctor.. My Doctor there.. I am waiting at the Doctor's office.. I am getting sick.. something has happened to my Heart.. I am wondering if My Heart is broken.. as I am sitting down.. waiting for the Doctor.. I am holding your Picture in my Hand.. I have been looking at this Picture for a Long time.. since I have lost you.. and it is the Picture of YOU.. you are standing by the Wall.. with a beautiful Smile.. I gave YOU a flowers and YOU are holding in your hand.. showing me in the picture of you.. I was so happy when I gave you those flowers in the work shop.. I surprised you that night.. it was before I wanted to ask YOU out.. I wanted to ask if we can be lovers.. and before the questions came about.. and I gave YOU the flowers.. I would watch you holding in your hand.. and I saw you smelling the flowers.. it touched my Heart.. Your nose so close and I saw both of your eyes closing when YOU brought the Flowers closer to your nose.. and right after.. you opened your eyes.. I be holding the camera.. zooming in to get a closer Picture.. I asked if YOU could just smile for me.. YOU are the Most Beautiful when I see you smile.. so I asked.. looking through the lens of the Camera.. I saw you holding the flowers closer and my finger presses and it clicked to take that Picture.. I would put the camera down and I came closer to YOU and I wanted to say but.. YOU told me Not to say it.. Because YOU knew what I was going to say and told me that YOU already have some one who you love.. and that I knew the person well.. I would just stand there.. No words to tell YOU because.. I have been holding this for a long time.. I wanted to tell YOU for a long time.. but I guess holding too long.. and I just could not hold it back.. I want to know.. DO you love Him.. do you think that man can love you more than Me.. if He can love you more than me.. I can back off and just pretend I never told you this.. I want to know what if I can love you More.. I know that I can love you where YOUR Heart can be truly touched.. I know that I can love you because I am already loving YOU.. but pushing me away is not going to solve anything.. but if you know that He can love you more and can make you more happier.. than I have nothing more to say.. But How about my Heart.. how about the Love I have for YOU.. will you please consider this before you can.. and it is the Picture before I wanted to ask.. but I do remember you be telling me that YOU love some one else.. I wanted to walk out of that work shop.. I wanted to leave at that moment because My Heart couldn't handle this kind of pain.. and to heal it takes a long time for me to get over it.. but.. I felt like I should stay.. that may be you would change your mind.. so I just stood and waited.. but I saw YOU looking at me.. giving me back the flowers and I saw YOU walking out of that work shop.. I heard the door behind me shutting down.. holding the flowers in my hands.. why am I holding these flowers for.. I am the one who gave you these flowers.. these are not for me and when I turned my head to look back.. I stood there.. the door was closed and YOU left.. I wanted to cry.. but I wanted to hold my own emotions in and I kept it inside for a while before I wanted to lead it out.. I stood there in the silence.. holding the flowers in my hands.. just did not know what to do any more.. as I am sitting on the chair.. just waiting for the doctor to call my name.. I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. holding the flowers and just smiling.. Now I am thinking.. and wondering.. what if I did Not say anything.. did Not mention and just stood there and smiled back.. I know that YOU would not left the work shop that night.. you could of still be there with me.. but would I ever be happy just watching you on the side line.. just loving YOU alone.. while YOU have someone who loves YOU and you be loving him back.. What am I suppose to do if I am just another shadow of passing through.. It would be breaking my heart into pieces.. I remember I open my hands and the Flowers all fell to the floor.. hitting the ground.. I dropped to my knees.. beating against my chest and started to cry loud.. wailing louder because of the pains of hitting me so Hard that night.. I did not even leave that work shop.. I would be crying for hours.. just feeling the pain deep within me.. sitting by the wall.. I would be leaning.. and I would sit until the Sun would rise Up.. I just could not work any more.. and wanted to take some time off.. but I could not get up.. sitting there.. looking at the flowers all over the floor of the ground.. I can't believe that this Hurts.. it hurts me much more.. why did I even mentioned if it going to end UP like this.. hurting me like this.. this ache.. this pain of just loving you.. why can't you love me back.. I would yell.. out loud.. why can't you love me back.. what must I do for YOU to notice HOW much I love YOU.. and I would sit still.. could not get up.. just did not want to move.. I did not want to eat anything.. even though I was hungry.. but I sat there.. leaning against the wall.. just thinking
Me.. Why are YOU just making me feel so Confused.. I am unable to get to This Heart.. there is NO door.. if there was a Door.. I am sure I can use my Head.. and I will hit my Head on this Glass.. NO matter how hard this Glass can Be.. If there was a Lock.. I can go look for a Hammer and Hit that Lock.. SLAM it Hard on that LOCK with the Hammer till it falls off.. UNLOCK it so I can touch It.. I want It.. I need to have it.. I want to hold It.. Hold it to get it close.. I want to smell Your Heart.. I wonder How your Heart smell.. DID YOU spray an Body Oil fragrance.. perfume on your Heart.. I want to smell Your Heart and Kiss Your Heart.. I want to say to Your Heart.. LOVE ME.. WILL you Please LOVE ME for Once.. I will hold Your Heart.. Both hands.. of course Your Heart will be so soft and tender.. it be like holding a Brand new baby.. and I will hold Your Heart fragile way.. and I will Bring Your Heart Close to My Lips and I will ask.. WILL you Please.. pretty pretty Please Love me.. Does it sound so desperate to YOU.. Because I am not playing no Games with Your Heart.. But I will tell Your Heart.. I love YOU.. that is the main reason WHY I want to know will YOU Love me.. I am not asking too much right.. it is that simple.. But So hard.. WHY is it so Hard.. because YOU are so Far away.. I want You Close.. I want YOU very close so that I don't have to miss YOU no more.. I want to put my arms around YOU and ask.. Can I look at Your Heart.. I have been waiting for YOU because I want to tell YOUR HEART.. I love YOU.. why did YOU not come any sooner.. I been waiting for YOU for such a Long time and Now you show UP.. and I will say.. as long as I know I love you.. time should not matter right.. I mean.. I don't think you want to see an Old Man.. who can't even walk any more.. who is sitting by the grave.. wanting to go Home.. but I guess I still will love YOU.. even to the Grave I sit by the stone.. I be grey hairs.. waiting for YOU.. crying when the Moon shows UP.. asking you when will you come to me.. stretching both Arms to YOU.. telling YOU COME to me.. I want to tell YOU something.. I love you.. Can I tell Your Heart.. that I love YOU.. come to me so that I can tell Your ears and speak right to Your Heart.. I never stopped loving YOU.. as I am sitting on the floor.. my hands touch the Square Glass Box.. Looking through the Glass.. Looking at Your Heart.. I want it.. WILL you come to me.. I want YOU Heart.. I want this Heart.. But WHY do you have to be hiding inside this Square Glass Box.. I will not Hurt YOU.. I will never Hurt YOU.. so Please come out and hang Out with me.. as I am with Giant Teddy Bear.. I am holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. DO YOU see this Bear.. He is my Friend.. If you can come Out of that Square Glass Box.. I will lay Your Heart.. this Giant Teddy Bear will wrap the arms around.. and I will Kiss Your Heart and will whisper.. I love YOU.. I have missed YOU.. can I hold YOU and touch YOU.. Can I tell Your Heart.. I love YOU.. as I am thinking back.. I am standing.. Looking through the Glass Wall.. I am Holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. I am looking and the Glass Jar.. in the center I see Your Heart.. I am looking as it pops to look UP.. OH that Heart.. LOOK at Your Heart.. so precious.. CHAM.. YOUR Heart looks so Precious.. I want to give YOU this Giant Teddy Bear.. for that Precious Heart.. can I give YOU this.. because I want that.. My Finger points.. touches the Glass wall.. I see that Beautiful Heart.. GIVE it to Me.. I want that.. I want it.. Please Please.. I want it.. that Heart.. my arms and moving UP and down.. the Giant Teddy bear bouncing.. I see Your Heart peeking through.. LOOKING at the Giant Teddy Bear.. OH MOE.. COME.. I give YOU this.. I want YOU.. I want Your Heart to Love.. I can Bounce Your Heart around like this too.. SO beautiful.. I can hear the foot steps.. and I look down the Door.. I see YOU come Out.. my eyes.. and I drop the Giant Teddy Bear on the Floor.. I look at Your Heart.. As I Pick up the Giant Teddy Bear.. WHY are you so Beautiful.. what is wrong with my Eyes.. as I am watching YOU walk and YOU stop next to the Glass Jar.. I want to Have YOU.. Can I please love YOU.. I want to Hold YOU.. can I tell YOU that YOU are so Beautiful.. my arms wrap around the Giant Head of this Teddy Bear.. and I Squeeze this Head.. WHY.. WHY are you so Beautiful.. why do YOU have to look so Pretty Pretty.. YOU are hurting My eyes when YOU LOOK this Pretty.. do YOU know that My Heart can JUMP out of my Chest because He will cry when My eyes look at YOU and kills me inside when YOU be looking this Good.. I can't breathe.. WILL you come over here.. Hit my Chest and Beat down on my back.. WHY are you so Beautiful.. what words do YOU want to hear.. what words can I say.. my words just can't come out right.. My Mind be crazy when I look at YOU.. I needs to close Both of my eyes because YOU are hurting my Head.. Hurting my Heart because SO Beautiful.. It hurts like I am caught on fire.. But YOU are so Beautiful.. How many times do My Heart must till my Mind and I have to say this TO YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. as I am squeezing the Giant Head of this Teddy Bear.. I look.. I see YOU Picking UP your Heart.. Holding Your Heart.. like a new Baby Born.. So Precious and so Beautiful.. can I hold Your Heart too.. I can give YOU this Giant Teddy Bear.. Please come over and hand me That Heart to Me.. I know I can be the Best Lover.. YOU will say.. This man can Love.. how come he can Love.. and I will say to YOU.. because I love YOU.. if I can Love Your Heart.. I can love YOU.. Holding Your Heart.. why.. Let me hold Your Heart.. Let me share something more than just holding a Heart.. Give it to Me.. I want it.. Pretty Pretty Please.. I want it.. come and step a little closer.. my arms are ready to HOLD Your Heart.. and I will speak to your heart.. I will tell Your Heart.. but first please come closer.. as I see YOU standing there.. my arms struggle and the Giant Teddy Bear falls Off.. CHAM.. what have you Done.. It is because YOU Be looking so Good.. WHY do you have to hurt me.. coming out looking so Beautiful.. It hurts not just me.. it hurts my eyes.. it hurts my heart.. Tell me WHY.. WHY are you teasing me.. It hurts to see that I can't hold YOU.. if you keep on hurting me.. I will hold YOU.. I will hold you and my arms will not Let go of YOU.. oh MY MY.. and I turn around and I see the Giant Teddy Bear rolling.. He is crying.. YOU scared my Giant Teddy Bear because YOU LOOK so Good.. YOU LOOK so Pretty Pretty.. so Beautiful.. LOOK at what YOU have done.. I grab the Giant Teddy Bear.. He does not want to Come with me.. I am pulling his arms.. I see tears
Tell me something Please.. Tell me How can I reach your Heart.. Will you let me reach Your Heart.. If the Letters I write.. and the Words I share describing How I feel.. the way I love YOU.. and How I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. I really really needs to Know.. would you please tell me How can I reach your Heart.. YOU know that I have been trying.. I have been siting down.. looking at this desk.. and Pulling out the Clean pieces of papers.. I would put the eraser close to My heart.. just in case I would make a Mistake of telling YOU the wrong.. and I would stop.. I would sit and Pull up the Paper.. and both hands grabbing on the sides of the Paper.. I would read.. standing UP I would read out Loud.. behind me is the wall.. and even if I have to face the wall.. but thinking of YOU.. I would open my mouth wide and say the words Out loud.. as if you are standing there.. I would close both eyes.. and I would see Your Face.. I would see your Beautiful Face.. before I stand UP to turn to LOOK at the wall.. I be on the chair sitting down.. looking at your Picture before I would get UP out of and when I would turn to face the wall.. both eyes would close.. facing the wall and picture of YOU would pop in my Head.. and I would open both eyes.. looking at the paper in front of Me.. I would open my mouth and I would start to read the Paper.. like if YOU are standing on the Other side.. Near me if YOU were here.. and I would keep on reading out loud.. like if YOU can hear Me.. until I am finished reading the whole Paper to YOU.. of course when I put the paper down.. I don't see YOU.. I only see the wall which I am facing.. but I want to know.. when I send the Letter Out to YOU.. when YOU receive the Letter.. Do you read the Letter I write to YOU.. because I want to ask you something.. Tell me How can I reach Your Heart.. only thing that I can do right Now.. in this time of the Night.. I can sit by the desk.. pulling out the Picture of YOU and all I can do is LOOK at the Picture of YOU and in silent think of YOU.. when I look at your Picture.. My Heart is touched.. I am not sure How.. but My Heart is touched by YOU.. when I feel this touch.. I would pull out the clean Piece of Paper.. never been touched.. never been written.. and I would pull it close to me.. I would look at your Picture over and over again.. grabbing the Pencil with the Eraser next to the Paper.. I would write what was touched from My Heart.. YOU are wondering.. YOU can also ask Me.. what is it about YOU that When I take a Look at your Picture.. How is it that My Heart is just touched when I look at YOU.. of course I don't hear YOU telling me anything.. I don't hear YOU.. I don't even see YOU in person.. I don't see your presence.. But.. if YOU want to know.. How is it that My Heart is always touched by YOU.. touched when I look at your Picture.. the three letter words.. it is because I love YOU.. there is NO Other word that I can share to YOU.. only words that I can tell YOU and if YOU want to hear me.. it is because I just love YOU.. I can imagine YOU here even though YOU are so far away.. YOU can be miles and miles away.. but when LOVE is in my Heart and only thing that is involved is LOVE.. I can transfer this Love as far as where YOU are.. as long as YOU know that I love YOU.. I just want YOU to know that Only thing and can give and share is Love.. there is Nothing else I can truly give YOU.. what can I give YOU but just these three letter words.. if you want More.. How am I suppose to give YOU more.. YOU have so much more than Me.. but One thing that I can promise YOU will always be missing is how much I love YOU.. there is NO Other man who can share and tell YOU how much I love YOU more than Me.. I can write to YOU thousands of Letters.. YOU can be across miles.. thousands away.. but some way some How by the Miracle of Love.. I am able to give.. I am able to tell YOU.. I am able to share and write to YOU.. that I can Love YOU more than any Other.. I can keep on telling YOU and keep on writing YOU.. I can share to YOU what is in my Heart and Let this Letter fly over the Moon and into your hands it can sit there.. and just wait for YOU.. for you to read the Letters.. I know that I can love you more.. I know that I can love you better.. I know that I can love you stronger and I can love you more smarter.. because the Only thing that is in my Heart for YOU is to just Love YOU as you are.. If you are asking me why do I love YOU this much.. WHY do I keep on loving YOU.. what happens if I never see YOU and YOU never come to Me.. but all I give and share and just tell YOU that I love YOU.. what if I never see YOU.. if YOU are wondering and asking me this kind of question.. if I never get to see YOU.. YOU will always know that I get to love YOU.. I am not asking YOU that YOU needs to come and see me.. I am not asking you to let us join hands and be together.. YOU have the choice to do what YOU truly please.. But I believe YOU will always wonder.. what If YOU be with Me.. YOU will always be thinking on the Other side.. wondering what If it can happen.. and Makes YOU wonder.. can It be true.. Can it be real.. I am telling YOU that YOU do not have to do anything.. Let me be the Man who loves YOU.. let me be the One who never stops loving YOU.. I am Not asking YOU to love me.. I do not want to put any kind of burden on your shoulders because I have made this Choice to just love YOU.. why.. because I just love YOU.. when did I ever ask YOU that YOU needs to love Me.. I never asked YOU to love me because I know that if I love YOU first.. to make that first Move to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. If My Love for YOU is Strong and It grows stronger each day goes By.. I am sure that One day.. some day YOU will see HOW much I love YOU.. there will be a day where YOU are going to look back and come around.. it can take for months.. even to years but I know that I can wait.. I am truly patient with YOU because I know that I loved YOU first.. I will always love YOU because I never give UP when It comes for LOVE.. YOU have to know that I be typing for 22 years long.. and it is because of Love.. but Now I want to share the Love with YOU.. and I know it will take a Long time.. and I have already made up my Mind to keep on loving YOU.. there will be a day when YOU will realize that I am truly serious of Loving YOU.. I just needs to give YOU some time for it to reach to YOUR HEART.. and as I am looking at the Paper and looking at what is written in the paper.. I would turn around.. grabbing the envelope on the top of the desk and I would fold the Piece of Paper into half and Put inside the envelope.. I can see the day has just left and the Moon has rise above me.. I am taking the fourth Letter.. the envelope in my hand.. I would walk out side.. leaving the front door and I would walk.. LOOKING at the mail Box.. I wish that YOU can read these letters.. of course I do not know if YOU are or Not and I would walk and stop by my mail box.. just waiting for the Truck.. the Mail man to come.. wondering will this Mail man come late again.. I know that few days back He came pretty Late.. about two hours later than the usual time.. and I am looking towards where the Truck would come.. as I am standing still.. next to my mail Box.. I see two lights and I know the sound.. It is the sound of the truck of the Mail Man.. Now.. the Truck stops.. and I am looking at the person who is driving the truck.. But it is Not the man I know who is driving.. it is a New person driving the Truck.. It is a Woman driving the truck.. and I would look.. But looks so much like YOU.. and I know that before I came out of the House.. I was by the desk and I pulled out the Picture to Look at YOU.. I know that it can't be You.. but LOOKS so similar.. and I am not sure if I should Tell.. Now the Mail Man comes from the back and He stands next.. and Looks at me.. I just can't believe it.. this means that It is YOU.. why are you driving this Truck.. and the mail man smiles and tells me.. YOU wanted to see Me.. YOU wanted to meet the person who was writing these letters and wanted to know the Person behind the writings.. and I look at you.. I know that you don't know me well.. but there is So much to tell YOU how I got the Information.. I hope that I am Not a creepy person.. ALL I wanted was to tell YOU what my Heart feels when I saw YOU.. when I saw YOU the first time.. My Heart leaped with Joy.. and Just wanted to express and tell YOU that I love YOU.. and I have the envelope and I gave it to YOU.. I see your hand grabbing it.. and My Heart.. Oh my Heart.. and my hand touches my Chest which it touches my Heart.. Only YOU can melt my Heart like I see a SNOW melting in the Sun.. because I just can't stop Loving YOU.. I just can't believe that YOU have taken YOUR time to come this way.. of course I wanted to go to see YOU.. but I was not sure when.. or if I could.. that is why all I can do is wait for YOU to come to Me.. only HOPE and Dream is when I see YOU come.. but I never asked for YOU TO COME.. but I do truly enjoy your presence.. when I see YOU.. and as I am standing there.. I look down and I lifted UP my Head.. the Mail Man is on the drivers seat.. and I am wondering.. Is there YOU.. because When I looked into the truck.. looking on the ground and lifting up to look at the Truck.. I only see the mail Man.. who is just sitting there waiting for me to give the envelope.. and I would ask that Man.. the Mail Man.. did Not the Woman sitting on that driver's side.. I thought I just saw a Woman driving this Truck.. the Mail man looks at me thinking I am going crazy.. as I would give the Mail Man the envelope.. and He takes it into his Hand and he tells Me.. I am going crazy.. I am going Nuts about YOU.. Oink Oink
Oink Oink.. I been reading few of the Pages the Book you gave Me.. Pulling out the Piece of Paper.. I am trying to write the Summary of what the Book is telling me.. of course if YOU are asking me do I enjoy reading this BOOK.. I would tell YOU.. the BOOK has just too many pages to read.. and I would flip through the pages because some of the things that is Telling me is truly boring to read.. it is Like.. why do I needs to know about this Information.. this Historical portion and I would be scratching my Head.. wants to yank my hairs Out because I would Yawn and tries to GO back to the Pages.. If I don't understand It.. I would re read it over and over so that I can tell YOU what I think of this Book.. when I take a Pause.. it is YOUR picture.. I would put your Picture next to the Book and I would take a LOOK at YOU.. I would smile and ask.. why is My Heart be burning.. It keeps ON burning whenever I look at YOU.. I feel like this Burning deep inside seems like it never stops ON ME.. DO you think that this is what I call Love.. what do you think about this Heart of Mine when It keeps On burning inside of me.. it is when My eyes takes off the Pages of this BIG BOOK and I turn to LOOK at your Picture.. I rather LOOK at this Picture for Hours and even with the Hours goes By.. I don't think I would ever get tired of LOOKING at YOU just like when I write to YOU.. I never get tired of telling YOU.. Letting YOU know How much I still Love YOU.. I can tell YOU millions of times and I would say.. Let me see your ears please.. can I step a little closer to YOU.. if My Voice can be Loud.. I can lower my voice and even whisper.. Just to tell YOU.. that I miss YOU.. Have been missing YOU for a Long time.. but.. Just wanted to tell YOU.. I love YOU.. I can stand Out.. go Out side and even Yell looking at the MOON who is looking.. showing the Face.. My Face and turn to the MOON.. with YOUR NAME.. I can say it Out loud.. I love YOU.. I don't want the MOON think that I am telling It.. that is WHY.. or Not the angels be confused or the neighbors around.. But with YOUR NAME say it and say to YOU I LOVE YOU.. but WOULD you let me be Close.. would you let me come closer to YOU.. would YOU open your Heart and Open your ears to listen.. would you receive the Words I want to tell YOU.. can I tell it to YOUR HEART that I love YOU.. as I am sitting on the chair by the desk.. with the BIG BOOK in front of me.. the BOOK is opened Now with the pages on right and left.. with Letters written as I would try to read the page.. going from chapter to the Next.. looking at the Numbers as I am flipping through the pages of this BOOK.. I would read and Pause.. my eyes would turn to LOOK next to this BOOK is your Picture.. I can't hide your Picture away.. I need your Picture with Me so that It reminds me who I love.. that I be loving YOU for reals.. can I take a Look at your Picture Please.. and it is YOU who left this One picture inside.. I remember before I started to read the Pages of this BOOK.. I called your Number.. and I even told YOU that I have found a Picture of YOU.. of course I would hear a Long Pause on the other side before you would say something about It.. I know that YOU did Not put the Picture here for me.. but when I saw the Picture.. It just helps me with the Pains I am suffering right Now.. I know that We are suppose to meet about a Week for Now.. but It seems like it is taking for ever.. time is ticking so Slow even though I am so Busy trying to Finish this Whole book.. and NO.. I am Not a good reader either.. that is why I had to ask for a delay for two weeks.. as I would try to go back to the Pages.. to read the pages.. it is not that easy for me.. too many difficult words would come around.. I have to pull out the dictionary to find and to understand the meaning of this Word.. and trying to read the sentence to go back to understand what it is telling Me.. I been going through Hardship of looking at the second Book.. which is the dictionary.. I remember you told me.. after I am finished reading the Whole book.. YOU be asking me to write to YOU a Summary of the book.. I have been sitting here.. with this One Piece of Paper in front.. trying to write something.. I am tempted to write about something else instead.. I am trying to think about this Story of this BOOK.. but My mind.. my eyes would LOOK at the Picture instead.. I would look on the ground.. there are few papers that has been rolled into balls.. because I started to write to YOU a Letter from my Heart.. and instead of trying to share about this BOOK.. My Mind and Heart takes me somewhere what My Heart wants to tell YOU.. if you are asking me.. what did I write that I had to roll into balls instead.. Maybe I should write TWO instead.. One that is from me to YOU and the other from the story of this BOOK.. the Summary you wanted to see.. when I would look at the Balls rolled UP from the Pieces of paper.. I would write.. I been missing YOU.. I wish that I can go to the Library.. if I go to that Library.. will I see you there.. would you be at the table the last time I saw YOU at.. but I don't want to show UP like I am spying on YOU because I am Not.. I am showing UP because My Heart misses YOU and I want to see YOU more.. of course.. I decided Not to GO.. but Last Night.. I do remember.. My Heart.. I started to miss YOU.. looking at your Picture.. It would stop me from reading more Pages of this BOOK.. I had to put the BOOK down because I would be missing YOU.. and I was struggling.. and I knew last night.. that was the day I saw you like two weeks Back.. and I would grab the keys.. and I knew.. should I go to the Library.. I know that If I do go.. maybe there is a better chance I will see YOU there.. so I took the keys.. and I went into the car.. and I started the Car to drive But.. I knew.. I should Not.. I am going to be making the mistake of showing UP just too early.. I don't even have the paper of the summary for this BOOK and NO.. I did Not finish the BOOK yet.. so I had to pause and think before.. so I did Not drive the Car.. I came Out of the car and stood Out side.. and I would LOOK UP at the sky.. LOOKING Above me is the MOON.. as I am looking at the MOON.. I would Open my Heart and Open my Mouth LOOKING at the Moon.. I would say.. what am I doing.. I know that I made a Promise to YOU.. and YOU gave me two weeks.. even though YOU wanted to Meet sooner.. I know that if I showed UP.. and I am Not ready to show you the presentation.. and If you were to ask me about the BOOK.. and If you say.. did I finish the BOOK.. and I am sure you would say.. why ask for two weeks if I am able to share Now and makes me a Liar.. I don't want YOU to see me as that Kind of a Person when ALL I wanted to say is that I missed YOU.. I been missing YOU for a while Now.. and why can't I just show UP just to tell YOU that I miss YOU.. but.. would Your Heart be opened to receive.. will your Ears be opened to hear the Words I need to say.. But I know that My Heart truly needs to tell YOU.. that I really Love YOU.. YOU may Not believe me.. or the Words Yet.. YOU may think that I am Not being serious about the situation or about My Heart to YOU.. but.. YOU do not have to believe anything Yet.. because I know that In time everything can change that.. there will be a TIME when YOU WILL Finally understand and able to receive when the TIME is right.. that is why I am Not asking it for today.. I am Not asking it for Now.. but I believe.. there will be a TIME you will know the truth.. that the TRUTH will do Its work and will set it Free.. Set me free because I am Not lying.. just sharing just the way it is and has been in my Heart.. that I love YOU.. what More words can I say to YOU that I been loving YOU.. and I would Be looking UP at the MOON.. just pouring from My Heart and speaking.. of course YOU are Not there to listen is the Problem.. that YOU are not there to hear these words of Mine.. that YOU just don't know yet how much I love YOU.. and as I would be sitting on this Chair by the desk in my room.. I am just looking back.. thinking back of what has taken its place.. and I am looking at the Picture.. Your Picture that is Next to this Big Book.. I wish that YOU could see me like this.. only if YOU are able to see me Now.. how can I get YOU to know that I been thinking of YOU.. that I am doing my Part.. that I am reading through these pages.. which It was not my choice.. if I go back where I saw YOU at the Library.. I would of chosen a Different Book.. and something much more Smaller with Pages.. and I would show YOU.. can I read this One instead.. and I can write YOU the Summary on piece of paper and tell you about the story I read of this book.. but.. it was Out of Nowhere.. sitting on the table.. across from YOU.. with a Smile.. YOU would push this BIG BOOK.. I wanted to be your Friend.. a reading club.. and it took me by a surprise when this BIG BOOK came to my direction and Of course I smiled.. but In my Heart.. I would say.. such a Big Book.. has too many pages.. and me to finish reading all of these pages.. But I know that sometimes.. to get close to YOU.. there needs to be a time where I needs to adjust and do what Makes YOU happy the Most.. so I knew that this be a daring statement on my Part.. I just wanted to be Close.. be a part in your Life.. and to get closer to YOU.. sometimes I needs to do things I may Not like but what Makes YOU the Happiest.. Of course when YOU LOOK at me now.. I have finished half of the Pages.. about 400 pages I read so far.. it was not with a SMILE though.. and trying to write the Summary on this Piece of paper would be another challenge for Me.. But.. I know I must do It.. for YOU.. for the friendship comes with a high cost.. and just to get close to YOU.. when Your Picture is next to the Book.. it is the Picture first
MAH MAH.. I am looking at the rain falling down the Sky.. looking across.. I see the Door where I sleep.. it is opened.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is inside that ROOM.. I needs to go and get it.. My Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. Your Picture.. the Art Sketch Paper.. when I was Young.. the paper that YOU gave to Me.. I had to get the permission from the Artist Boy who drew that Picture of YOU.. I remember he told Me.. if He gets Caught drawing the Picture.. If a Guard catches or Any Officials who works for Your Father the King.. PEH HA.. he can be Put to death.. but He went and drew that Picture for me.. I saw Him get caught.. He was dragged into the Prison.. I could Not believe what has happened to that BOY.. who died for drawing the Picture of YOU.. I remember the Night I went to visit Him. My Father was able to get Me into the Palace.. being the Head servant who was serving YOU.. I went with my Father.. I saw Him siting alone.. and it just broke my Heart.. He told me.. it is because it is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. it is because YOU are MAH MAH.. the HAWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. any ways He was poor.. living as a Homeless street.. as I hold his hands to thank HIM.. he looked at me and told me.. I have A Dream.. as Long as I have that Dream to conqueror.. to be by YOUR SIDE.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. who I loved and to serve.. and to Protect.. and told me.. GO ALL IN.. even if it gets me Here like this Young Boy.. it be worth Dying for as long as I can try my Best to get there.. and I cried Loud as He told Me.. Chase my Dreams and Let it come true.. Believe In It.. and something BIG.. GRAND can happen in the end.. I saw the Guards with the Keys.. Unlocks.. AND It was His time to GO.. I screamed Let HIM LIVE.. He did Not do any wrong.. what is Wrong to and the Guard struck me.. I fell and saw that Boy being carried away.. I get UP.. and I ran.. ran after the Guards WHO was taking HIM away.. my Father ran after ME.. grabbed me and told Me.. I will see him again.. and I stood there crying.. as the Boy disappeared into the Night.. and It was raining.. I saw the RAIN falling and I would Cry Out in Loud Voice wailing.. Crown Princess.. WHY is Life Not so fair for the POOR people.. small people like Us.. it is no Fair and I am wiping my tears with my Arms.. and as I am sitting down.. I am crying Looking at the open Door to the Small room.. that Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is a gift.. the Price has been paid.. some one had to die just to draw that Picture of YOU for Me and It died.. and the Older Man.. the Master.. he has the stick.. holding it UP.. and there is the stick on the ground next to me.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Cost of Losing a One's Life.. and it is YOU.. My Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH and I grab the stick with my Hand and PULL myself UP.. and my eyes looking at the Older MAN.. and he yells Out Loud and swings the Stick at me and I would go back.. the waters makes me slide back and I would yell in rage and I jump UP with the stick In my hand and I swing the stick and it hits the Old Man's stick. and I jump Up again and swing right left left right and I land on the ground and did a back Kick and Hit the Master on the middle.. and I jump Up again swinging the stick in my hand with full of Rage.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and swinging the stick in my hand left right right left and It knocks the Stick Off his Hand.. and I do a round house kick to knock him on the Ground.. the Older Man.. He is laying on the ground.. as the rain Keeps on falling down.. and I stand holding the stick in my hand.. I am crying.. Just Missing YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. but Look at me.. I am here stuck Out here.. ALL I want to do is just to see you for ONCE.. But the situation is Not helping me to go anywhere at this Point.. WHAT DO I do Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Older man.. the Master gets UP slowly.. and he stands looking at me.. and I see he leaving out of sight.. as I would LOOK at the Open Door to the ROOM.. the Small room where I rest.. and I go inside.. and I am looking.. the Art Sketch Paper.. and drawing Picture of YOU.. this Means everything to me.. I remember putting this Art Sketch Paper.. drawing Picture of YOU.. Putting in back of Me.. walking In the Snow.. all alone.. Not knowing where I was going to go but I even had to leave the Garden.. I told myself.. that I am going to go where YOU are.. Crown Princes.. as I would grab hold onto the Paper.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I told YOU through Looking at this Picture.. Someday I will get Close.. even though I may be far right Now.. I know that One day I will see YOU.. I will be close so that YOU know how much I love YOU.. and the Sword.. by the time I see YOU.. I am going to be holding a Sword in my hand.. and the Sword I hold.. it is going to Protect YOU.. my Sword that I have with me will always protect and also defend for YOU.. I will be a man of my words who will do whatever it takes just to be close.. even though I may not able to say the Words I love YOU.. I know that the day will come where YOU will give me the Permission to say it.. as the Next Day Arrives.. the Older man.. the Master.. He put a DUMMY made of WOOD.. Carved it and gave me the WOODEN SWORD STICK to practice.. every Night.. I would walk Out side.. He would should Me the PIN POINTERS where to Hit the Hot Spot to destroy my enemies.. I would stand Alone.. and Most nights the MOON came UP from the Sky.. the Older man.. the Master would behind.. leaving a distance.. as I would hit the DUMMY WOOD with the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I would be looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would hold to close to my Chest.. and I would kiss the forehead of the WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. and I would walk outside into the Night.. LOOKING at the MOON.. I would say.. I will see YOU SOON.. it may seems like a long time Now.. the Older MAN.. the Master tells me.. it be a lot sooner because I am thinking of YOU.. that I have a Dream to Love YOU.. but to Protect.. and to defend YOU for a cause for this Nation you are building.. that I know I needs to be there to see YOU as My True QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU as you take your place of Your Father's Spot.. to RULE this NATION as the CONQUEROR.. I want to be there to see with my own eyes before I die.. I can't not delay.. because I want to see YOU soon.. and I would be thinking of YOU.. thinking of protecting YOU and also defending Your Nation I would hit and hit.. the Wooden Sword Stick would break.. because I would hit it very Hard.. the Older man.. the Master would carve another WOODEN SWORD STICK for me.. He is just sitting there being busy Carving all day Long.. I do remember like My Father.. who was watching me.. I would be holding the Bow.. strings I would Pull back.. many times I would pull the strings back and forth.. I would use the Arrow.. the back of the end of the arrows.. I would aim and I would release the strings of the Bow.. it would break.. He would be very busy pulling the Strings into the Bow.. watching me Shoot the Arrows.. many flies to different sides.. I kept On practice shooting.. even my hands be hurting.. Just like Holding this WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I hit many times on the Wooden DUMMY.. But I never gave UP on the Dreams of Loving YOU.. I just can't call it the Quits.. I have come so Far and I am getting closer to YOU.. as the OLDER MAN.. the Master looks at me.. He tells me.. it is time for me to GO to see the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would stand there as he gives me the Letter.. stamping with the seal for His NAME that I am His student.. I would stand IN the ROOM.. as I am looking at the Letter with the STAMP SEALED.. I would sit.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I sat alone.. crying.. It means that I get to finally see YOU.. I have made the promise.. DO you remember.. and I am LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. WHEN we were Young.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU came to the Garden.. and I was at the Top of the Hill.. By the tree.. visiting My Mother's grave.. I was with my Father and he wanted too tell me a story.. and I heard the Messenger as he was going Up on the Hill.. and it stopped my Father and we turned to look back.. the Messenger says the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH is coming UP.. and Me and My Father.. Both on the Knees Looking on the ground.. YOU came to us.. and it broke my Heart when YOU told me.. it is going to be hard for you to come to this Garden.. and before YOU are going to come the One last Time.. a Prince is going to show UP for the Last time.. and I knew what that meant.. I remember that Day Came.. YOU showed UP with the Prince who wanted to Marry YOU.. My Heart was breaking into Pieces when He came with YOU.. but I made a Promise to YOU.. and that promise is that I will still love YOU.. and that I will go to serve.. and to protect and defend YOU.. even if it means that I can't Love YOU.. but I asked YOU.. can I still Love YOU.. WOULD YOU let me still Love YOU.. but I do remember YOU looked the other way.. WHEN I saw you with the Prince at the Hill top by the Tree.. I did Not want any one there which it was my Mother's Grave.. I just could Not believe it had to happen.. when I think of it Now.. I have never given UP on that Promise.. as I was in the Small ROOM.. holding the Letter with the Stamp sealed of the Older Man.. the Master.. and On the Other Hand
MAH MAH.. Into the training camp.. ALL goes on the two Knees.. Arms moves forward.. and Lowers the Heads together and I see YOU stop.. MY Heart starts to beat Faster.. as my Heart keeps On running.. ALL these men.. New and Older.. the Military and Generals.. Commanders and Chief Generals.. ALL down on two Knees.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Young Boy who drew this Picture of YOU.. as I am looking at it.. My eyes.. watery and fills with Tears and I can feel my tears running Down as I am looking at this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. as YOU pull out the Sword and YOU point at Me.. and I lift UP my Head looking UP at YOU.. My Heart breaks because I do remember this One Young Fellow.. He told me that as Long as I keep dreaming.. and Dreaming of Just Loving YOU.. and to follow my Dreams and my Heart towards YOU.. that One day.. something Big.. something Grand will Happen.. I did Not know what that Meant.. But Now I know what it is Like because I am here today still Loving YOU.. I had no idea why was that young boy saying this to me.. that is before he died.. I saw the Boy's body on the back of a wagon being carried.. on the streets.. a HAY was covered over.. I ran to look at the wagon being pulled by the Horse.. when I stopped.. uncover the STRAY HAY covering.. it was the Same young Boy who gave me this Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I would with both hands show YOU.. HWANGTAEJABIN MAH MAH.. and I see you walking closer and YOU stopped.. and YOU looked at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is this Picture I kept all of this Time and Just could Not let It go.. But Know I believe I can because my Dreams of Loving YOU and coming this Close.. It has been kept alive.. I want YOU to do the Honor to Burn this For Me.. because Now.. I realize I don't need this One Picture because I see YOU Now.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I am close to YOU NOW.. I love YOU MORE NOW.. so I don't need to go back because I am Now living in the Present.. going forward with YOU to future HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. ALL I want to say to YOU.. I still Love YOU.. I never have given UP that Hope and dreams of Loving YOU.. I hope that NOW you can see my true Heart.. the real Heart of Mine who never stopped Loving you this Far.. all I wanted to say to YOU CROWN PRINCESS.. I love YOU..I am looking Across.. Standing by the Gates.. with the three Friends.. as the Back of the Palace Guards.. I am looking at YOU.. and so many people has gathered.. ALL of the TOP Generals.. the Commanders.. the Head servant.. maids.. even the Highest Kitchen Lady.. and ALL of the Special Body Guards.. the servants and I can hear a Great Celebration.. on the Outer Court.. I am watching YOU.. looking through the gate Bars.. I am wondering.. what is going to Happen after this.. WILL I able to still love YOU.. Look at the place I am standing.. and my three friends who are standing next to me sees Me.. I am sad.. My Heart is broken because NOW.. it is so Hard to Love YOU.. of Course I should be the One who should be the Most happiest to support YOU.. I know that it was ME who told YOU to leave.. to GO.. to go back to the Palace because It is the King.. PEH HA is calling.. He wanted to show YOU and give YOU something.. I was so Happy to hear this News.. that something Great was going to Happen.. and I am now Sad.. NOT sad in a Bad way.. I am just so sad because of this Distance.. I want to come Close.. I want to be near YOU.. able to hold Your Hands.. able to be close and to tell YOU at least I miss YOU.. or say I love YOU.. YOU don't have to accept the Words but.. If I were able to get closer to YOU.. at least YOU are able to feel the energy.. able to see me Smile.. but.. NOW.. I feel like only looking at the MOON can be more closer than for me to LOOK at YOU.. I am looking through the Bar Gate.. as I am watching the People.. the Most important People.. even the Prime Minister has come.. also the Queen.. the People all lowers and falls to the Floor.. QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. people all shouts on the floor.. lowering as she walks.. YOUR Mother has come and Me with the three friends all hit the Floor.. even though she can't see us.. knowing that the QUEEN has COME.. there is a Throne Seat.. in the Middle.. but a stage which YOU are on.. and Now the Messenger Shouts Out.. PEH HA!! the King is Coming.. the KING has come.. PEH HA! and all the people shouts Loud.. PEH HA! and me with the three friends shouts together PEH HA! and the King says for the attendants.. all rise UP and every one stands UP on the two feet.. so me and the three Friends all get UP.. the King is on the Outer Court.. and there is stairs.. He looks at YOU.. HE is with tears in his Eyes looking at YOU.. and there is a Big Crown.. and as the King steps UP He tells YOU to sit on the Throne.. and I look.. It can't be.. and He places a Crown ON the TOP of Your Head.. and He looks at YOU.. kisses Your Hand and says.. Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. SOON to Lead.. SOON to take over the Place.. and everyone Falls ON to the Floor.. lowers all.. and Says CROWN PRINCESS.. I am On the Floor.. with the three Friends.. HWANGTAEJABI.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. and every one shouts.. YOU sit there very shock.. but We all knew that IN time YOU will become the TOP RULER for the Nation.. People cheers and shouts Out.. WANGSEJABI.. CROWN PRINCESS.. we honor YOU.. the Commanders comes and they take a Bow to YOU.. kneeling and lower the Heads.. to the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. the Crown Princess.. and Each Man comes to kiss your hand.. few Commanders.. the TOP 1st Chief Generals line UP.. to the 2nd In command of Chief Generals.. to the 3rd in command of Chief Generals.. and the Lower top generals and I am watching.. this is the Most biggest celebration.. very close of becoming the Ruler.. and I am falling looking on the floor.. What am I suppose to DO.. One side of my Heart.. I am truly joyful.. and I am so Happy for YOU.. I knew in time YOU would become the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I would feel so happy that Now you are going to be taking over.. even though there is NO crown Prince.. but YOUR FATHER.. PEH HA made that calling.. Knowing that YOU are ready.. I am looking at the King and the Queen.. both lower themselves before YOU.. I am in shock.. It is PEH HA and HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and they made this Happen.. Now.. On the Other side.. I am watching all of these Most important people who works for the King.. they are all going over kissing Your hand.. I see a long Line and I would be on this Position till the Sun Goes Down.. and I see YOU still sitting on that Throne with the Crown TOP of your Head.. as I am hearing foot steps.. and it stops by the gate door bar.. I know someone is coming.. Is it my turn to kiss Your Hand.. If I kiss your hand.. I know that I can't love YOU any more.. what about me.. What about my Heart.. WILL you still let me Love YOU even after I kiss YOUR HAND.. I want to know.. will you let me still come close.. because I told YOU that I did not want to Come.. I knew that THIS would happen.. I told you before.. when We were back at the garden.. up on the Hill side by the tree.. I told YOU to let me stay Alone.. that I did Not want to go with YOU.. that I told my friends to take YOU instead.. because I knew that this is going to happen to Me.. WHY are you making my Heart to Bleed.. WHY don't you just give me a sharp blade knife and cut UP my stomach instead.. it be better if I just die like this.. I told YOU that YOU SHOULD go alone.. and I know that YOU wanted me to see YOU and to join in the celebration.. Yes.. it is the Best day I see.. it is the greatest day I am feeling at One side.. that Now.. YOU are the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH.. but the next thing I want to know.. what am I suppose to do with my Heart.. I have been loving you for so Long.. I mean it has been such a very long time.. and I began to think.. if it is all about MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI.. the Crown Princess.. YOU becoming the Next Ruler.. I told you that I did not want to come because the Distance is going to push me far away from YOU.. that is why leaving me behind would been a great idea because my eyes seeing YOU Close is good but bad when I can't ever come close to YOU.. DO YOU KNOW how much I love YOU.. DO you know that I love you so much that I did decide to join.. decided to see this Celebration.. NOW My heart is breaking inside because I know there will be Distance between US.. but able to see YOU close.. but loving YOU far hurts me far more than FOR me being at the Garden.. on the TOP of the HILL side by the tree been better because at least I don't have to see YOU.. it is the same feeling because of the distance.. it kills me more that I can't love YOU.. it kills me even more that I want to love YOU.. but How.. HOW can I love YOU when YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. Please tell me How.. I hear the Bar Gates Opening.. and the Messenger is standing there.. telling me to get UP.. and the four of Us all get up.. the Crown Princess is calling is what the Messenger is telling.. the three of the friends started to walk forward.. But I stop.. I am not going to walk over.. I can't kiss YOUR HAND if I can't love YOU.. I rather NOT go and just turn the Other way.. the Messenger stops and turns to look at me.. the Crown Princess is waiting.. HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH is waiting for YOU.. but I would not make any move.. I can't go.. I don't want to walk over and kiss Your hand
MAH MAH.. Me.. How about my Love.. How about me Loving YOU.. If I can't love YOU now.. I can't love you later.. because it will turn Out to be Never.. that is why I choose to be still here.. How about Me.. tell Me.. give me the answer first.. I rather turn the Other way.. I will go back to the Garden where I belong in the first place.. where I should stayed in the first place.. If this was going to happen.. I do not know why I came all the way down here to cause trouble.. I don't mean to cause any kind of trouble.. because MY true intention is also celebrate.. but IF it ends this Way.. and YOU are forcing me to Kiss Your Hand so that I can't love you any more.. I am telling YOU now I will not.. I will Not kiss YOUR HAND.. so Please.. Let me GO back to the place where I belong.. Maybe I don't belong here any more because NOW.. I have reached a Point.. I can die.. If I can't love YOU.. Please let me go to see my Family.. I can meet them on the Other side.. since I know now I can't love YOU.. and My tears begins to roll down.. YOU know that I am badly hurt right Now.. YOU know that It hurts if I can't love YOU.. it hurts even missing YOU but to stand here for the rest of My life.. just to look at YOU but can't never love YOU.. I can't.. WHY did you even bring me to this Place if YOU knew it was going to end UP like this.. If you would of told me if YOU Knew this was to happen.. I would of chosen to Be at the Garden.. be close to the Buried family members.. I am not trying to start anything.. Not a war.. Not trying to bring any kind of Trouble.. but just telling YOU.. letting YOU know that I should of never come.. YES.. I do love that YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. I am truly happy for YOU.. that YOU are going to be ruling soon.. I already told YOU it was going to happen., of course never thought this SOON though.. BUT it has happened.. If I walk over.. and YOU give me YOUR HAND.. and I kiss that Hand.. that means I can't ever love YOU.. I will not kiss YOUR hand if I just can't.. I rather turn My Head and look up to the Sky and LOOK at the MOON and just talk to that Moon thinking about YOU.. I have been asking the MOON like he be a friend and sharing.. How much I love YOU and how much I been praying to meet YOU and always wishing that I can meet YOU SOON.. that part it has come true.. but I started to fall for YOU.. maybe because It Hurts so Much I started to love YOU.. maybe it was because missing YOU TOO MUCH I started to Love YOU.. but just thinking about YOU.. it made My Heart to Fall in Love with YOU.. because YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. knowing that this was going to happen.. because of THIS.. because YOU are HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH.. knowing YOU are the Best.. the greatest is why I loved YOU.. ever since I was a young Boy.. I knew that YOU were going to be someone very special.. and NOW I see.. my eyes are seeing.. that because YOU are.. that is why I rather just love YOU and Not kiss YOUR HAND..I walk out the room.. Pulling out the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I just can't stop.. I been thinking of YOU a lot lately.. and I needs to go see YOU.. but How.. and as I am standing out.. I would turn to the Left.. I see the Horse.. and it belongs to the Older Man who teaches me.. maybe this time.. and I would look at the Art sketch paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. YOU know that YOU may Not see me.. but I will be at the Palace.. I will only be like a Shadow.. like the wind.. YOU can't see Me.. but YOU know that I am there.. knowing because I love YOU.. and I would Fold the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU in my Back.. and I would walk.. I stop by the Horse.. and I would get back on this Black Horse.. I would hit the Horse likely and the Horse starts to RUN.. as I am riding on the Back of the Horse.. feeling the Wind in my face as the Horse keeps On running down the Road.. all I can think of is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even though I may not be close.. even though you may Not see Me.. I know that as long as I can see YOU.. just seeing YOU from a Far is all I can ask for.. even though I may Not be able to say or tell YOU what My Heart truly feels or expresses to YOU.. as Long as my eyes sees that YOU are doing good.. that is ALL I am asking for.. the Horse keeps On running down the road.. all through the Day.. I see this Horse.. this Black Horse keeps on going.. it feels Like me.. Just cannot stop but keeps On going.. as I would watch the SUN Setting down.. when I look on the side.. I see the waters.. and the Horse would run slowly as it stops.. I give this Horse.. the Black Horse some rest.. I get Off the Horse.. Now.. as I would walk close to the waters.. there are group of guys by the waters.. and I would turn to look at One of the guys.. and I would stand still.. as I would pull the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. and it is killing me inside that I can't be close to YOU.. Now.. one of the guys.. he comes closer and takes a LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and Looks at me.. and I tell Him.. Yes.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU are asking me.. I am a Low Born servant.. and I know I can't even Look at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. who am I to love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am Not suppose to ever put my eyes on YOU.. and the penalty for getting caught is Death.. even though I know that If I break this Law.. But.. if YOU take a LOOK at me.. I am already Dead.. so I have No more fear.. I have already broken this Law and just ready to Die any time SOON.. but what can I do.. if I love YOU.. is this My fault.. How is it my fault if My Heart is the One who is causing this Kind of trouble.. this Kind of problem in my life.. I am just going what My Heart truly Needs.. and the Guy looks at me.. He works at the Palace.. and He is the Palace Guard at the Door.. and I just could Not believe.. he came just for a break with Other friends who works at the Palace.. they are all guards at the door.. and I just could Not believe.. He is going to help me to take to where YOU are.. tells me Not to tell any one because.. My Heart.. WHICH only Loves YOU.. as I would watch the waters on this Night.. I just could Not sleep.. but.. for the Longest time.. it has been so long since I saw YOU.. it is a Picture of YOU when YOU are YOUNG.. Now.. the Guy who came with his friends.. one of them had an Art Sketch Picture.. but it is the recent Picture some one drew.. and the guy's friend showed me.. as I took into my hands.. YOU just blew my Mind.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have become so Beautiful.. when did YOU grew UP looking so Beautiful Like this.. and as I am looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the recent drawing of YOU.. My eyes could Not Help.. but my tears.. it just could NOT let it sit and I felt.. my tears just ran down as I am looking at the recent Picture.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. and I am wondering.. the Guy looks at me.. even his friend Loves YOU too.. I am thinking.. I know there must be More but.. it does Not matter with me.. as the Sun starts to rise.. the Guy.. he came with three friends and Got into the Horse.. and gave me this New.. the recent Picture of YOU.. and I would walk down away from the waters.. and I get ON the Back of the Black Horse.. the four of the guys starts to ride the Horses.. as I get on the Black Horse.. I would ride this Horse following the Four Horses.. and Now.. I never knew that I am able to get this Close.. I just can't believe it.. My dreams are coming true.. How could this Be.. as the Horses would run down and the towns.. the villages are passing By.. and the two Guards by the Fortress Gates.. the Four Guards show the badges and they are able to get me Inside.. the Gates Open wide.. and the Four guards riding on the Horses.. and I am behind the Four Palace Guards following in the Black Horse.. as the Horses keeps On going and running down this road.. the path.. and it leads to the palace gates.. two Guards.. Opens the front gates.. as the FOUR PALACE GUARDS shows and lets me in with them.. and Into the back gates they go.. as the Horses all slow down.. the Guy who I first talked too.. He gets out of the Horse and He points at the Chamber on TOP.. that is where YOU are.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Other Guard tells me that YOU are not there.. that the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. is at the training ground.. and HE is the One who leads.. as I get off the Black Horse.. walking across on the Other side.. and there is the Fence.. as I walk with the Other Guard.. I would stop.. from the back.. I pull out the Recent.. Art sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. as grown.. I just can't believe you have grown this Much.. so much Prettier and never imagined YOU be this Beautiful in my life.. Now the Other Guard stops and looks back.. I just can't believe.. I am going to see the Crown Princess.. do YOU not see this.. LOOK.. I am at the palace.. and going to get to see closer LOOK at the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is Like a Dream come true.. I was truly worried about.. How am I going to see YOU.. I know that I have No business at the Palace. NO guards are going to let me In but.. it is a true Miracle that I am here.. and get to meet.. the Other Guard looks and smiles.. and He turns to lead the way.. as I am following HIM.. in my hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the RECENT drawing picture of YOU.. and I see the other Guard.. He stands by the fence.. and He stops.. and I am walking.. my Heart.. It is beating so Fast.. why do I feel so excited.. why is My Heart beating.. is it beating or dancing from the Inside.. and I stop
MAH MAH.. Coming.. walking over to the Fence.. and I just can't look at YOU.. why can't I breathe.. why is it so Hard for me to breath and YOU stop by the fence.. and the Other Guard would answer YOU.. and YOU turn to LOOK at me asking me.. and I would lift UP my Head.. and I would LOOK at Your eyes.. DO YOU not remember Me.. right Now I am at the Older man's House.. he is my master my teacher at this Point.. but.. YOU don't remember Me.. and I see YOU looking and with Question.. it is me.. at the Garden.. when YOU came Long ago.. when we were younger.. and my Father who was the Head over the servants.. who served the King but was servant to the CROWN PRINCESS.. which is YOU.. and my Hand went back to Pull out the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I lifted it UP before Your eyes and I see your hands grab hold unto.. DO YOU not remember this Picture.. this Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. when we were little.. before YOU left.. I asked a Boy.. and HE had to get your Permission.. and YOU allowed that BOY to draw YOU and the Boy would give me this Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. the boy say.. I am good to have this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. this drawing picture of YOU.. by the tree.. before YOU told me that YOU could never come back to the Garden.. that WHEN I grew to be older.. for YOU to know.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU told me to bring this to YOU so that YOU will remember who I am.. and it was YOU who allowed me to have this.. to keep this.. that one day when I come to this palace.. when I bring this to show YOU who I am.. YOU will know that it was ME.. the lowly born servant at the garden who never stopped Loving YOU.. I came all the way just to tell YOU that I have grown.. and YES.. that I am going to enter the king's service and to Be a Palace Guard.. so that I can come close to YOU.. to protect YOU and to defend this nation.. I told you this when I was little.. when I was young.. I told YOU.. before YOU left for good.. I told YOU I promise I will come.. and as I am LOOKING UP at YOU from kneeling on two Knees.. YOU looked at me.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see your smile.. so YOU do Remember everything right.. it is that Boy at the garden.. who wanted to give YOU a flower.. Now.. it is Not just a flower.. but I will show YOU a SWORD to protect YOU and this Nation.. and will FIGHT on your Behalf.. the Other guard looks at me.. and As I am looking at the New Recruits.. I would look back.. and I see the Seven Friends who are behind me.. there are two who has been there for me all this time.. the Other Guard who lead me to YOU.. and the First Guard who talk to me at the waters.. Who has been helping me to get closer to YOU.. and as I would LOOK by the Fence.. I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. as I am holding the stick in the Hand.. telling me that I should train these new Men.. the YOUNG MEN who are the recruits.. and as I would pull back.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is when YOU were Little.. the Boy WHO gave it to ME.. who told me that I have the Permission from YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. LOOKING at the Tree.. by the Garden.. I am always thinking about the Garden because it was the first TIME.. when I saw YOU coming.. riding on the Horse.. YOU wanted to see How the Garden feels.. it was when I saw YOU there.. when I started to LOVE you at the Garden.. as I am looking at one of the new Recruit.. He looks at me and swings the WOODEN SWORD at me.. and He misses as I go back.. with the WOODEN SWORD stick I am holding.. I would swing Forward and It hits the new recruit and He falls to the Floor.. to the ground..I am looking at YOU.. as YOU are coming closer.. I see you walking and YOU stop.. as I tell YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. Please do not come closer to Me.. I don't want to kiss YOUR hand.. I just can't.. because YOU know my Heart.. Please.. tell me rather to Leave the Palace.. stripe away my title.. and My Position.. I rather Live as a Slave Instead.. I don't deserve to Kiss Your Hand because I know My Heart.. I know How much I love YOU.. that is why I won't.. Please stop there and DO not come closer.. I rather walk away from the Outer Court.. and I would Hear.. the Queen is coming.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and I see you turn the Other way.. the Queen in tears.. coming to Kiss Your Hand.. and I see her lips kiss.. putting YOU in charge of everything.. I would walk the ten Council of Noble Men walking and they all stop behind the Prime Minister of the Nation.. and I see the King.. who is on the Floor.. He is crying.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS of this Nation.. HWANG WOO.. QUEEN.. come to me.. and I see the Queen turn around and she walks to her Husband as She also falls on the Floor.. with tears.. and I am standing there.. each Council of Noble MAN.. walking forward.. each Man comes to Kiss Your Hand.. and I am standing there.. My Heart is truly Touched.. truly Moved.. and I am standing thinking.. WHY can't I kiss Your Hand.. is it because it is My Pride.. WHO am I to tell YOU this.. WHO am I as the Lowly servant.. I am only the Palace Guard.. How can I reject Your Hand.. but It is because I love YOU.. I know that I must kiss but I know if I do.. I become Your Subject.. as I would watch each person kissing Your Hand and they Bow and lower to the Knees.. and LOOKING at the Big Crown on top of Your Head.. now the three of my friends goes over.. and Each of them decides to Kiss Your hand.. I am now standing alone.. if I don't kiss YOUR hand.. I know that I must leave this Palace.. this Outer Courts.. so I would turn to face the Gates.. I know that I must leave.. I just can't stand here any longer.. I just can't kiss Your hand and just become NO ONE to YOU.. and as I behind to walk down by myself.. the Special Body Guard runs.. and He stops me.. putting the Sword in front.. and I turn around and I still see YOU.. YOU just standing there.. with the White Dress.. SO beautiful.. WHY are you stopping Me.. I told you already that YOU are going to be a Great Ruler for the Nation.. Everyone gets on their Knees before YOU.. the Prime Minister.. the Commanders.. Chief Generals.. Generals.. the foot soldiers.. the Ten Council of Noble men.. all the Maid and servant.. EUNCH.. the Highest Kitchen Lady.. the Doctors of the Palace.. all falls before YOU.. shouting Out.. Crown Princess.. MANSAE.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY and Tears are all falling.. saying the Next RULER coming UP and I would look at YOU.. my tears are flowing DOWN.. I am so Sad because HOW can I love YOU now.. LOOK at me.. I can't even do anything.. How can I love YOU now.. YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the CROWN PRINCESS of this Nation.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would fall on both knees and start too weep in Pain.. I am aching because LOOK at me.. WHO AM I to love a CROWN PRINCESS like YOU.. and I am looking at the Ground.. wailing and Weeping loud.. I know that I am wrong.. I know that I should of never started but NOW to turn back.. it is just too late to turn.. I have come long ways of loving YOU.. and I am looking UP at the MOON.. WHY.. WHY did I even come.. if I could of stayed behind.. then It would not hurt me this Much because the Loving YOU always hurt but Now.. it hurts more.. I don't want to lose YOU.. because I know that I love YOU.. as I am would stand UP.. and I look toward the Gate.. and I started to walk.. passing the Gates.. I know that I can't come back.. I will remain as a Slave.. and I started to walk.. but.. this Special Body Guard keeps on following Me.. and Puts his sword to STOP me to go.. and I would turn.. I see YOU walking.. and coming closer as I am stopped by the Gates.. I am wondering.. YOU have everything here.. WHY are you doing this to me.. the more you do this.. the More I will be hurting in inside.. YOU know that I am little.. with such no Power.. I have no strength but YOU have all the strong People around YOU.. who also decided to choose YOU to be the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have all the troops.. even the people all.. I would see the People.. common people.. they all fallen on the Floor.. and People.. the common people.. when they see YOU.. they would shout OUT with the loud VOICE.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and People are on the Floor.. on the knees looking at the ground.. and I am standing here.. SO touched.. winning the Hearts of many people.. in the Palace and Out with the Common people.. YOU have won as the Next and I know that YOU WILL DO great.. that is why Now.. YOU have no need for me to be here.. because YOU have taken the seat to RULE.. and I told YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I will not kiss Your hand.. if YOU are asking me to come.. and be your subject.. and wants me to kiss YOUR HAND.. that is why I rather leave.. I would live in the deep of the forest and into the mountains.. I will not be known to YOU anymore.. and I see YOU coming very closer.. and your hand touch my shoulder Blade.. and I hear the word Stay.. and I turn around to face YOU.. HOW can I stay with YOU if YOU want me to kiss that Hand.. I told you I just can't.. if YOU want me to be Your Subject.. I want to live a different life.. I can't spend the rest of my Life just standing here.. Unable to say.. unable to tell YOU How much I love YOU.. I am Not going to live the rest of my life.. just wishing because I just can't.. why
I am looking for something.. I look at the Glass Jar.. I have set in on the floor.. I been asking YOU that I need your Heart.. as I would wait.. there is no answer on the other side.. so I know that I must keep waiting.. as I am holding the Glass jar.. which it changes to a new place.. I was in the room.. but I decided to walk Out.. and I been looking back.. thinking back when I was at my Room.. sitting on the floor.. looking through the Glass jar.. which was empty.. Now I must walk off.. I am now sitting Out side.. sitting by the shore.. I just love the waters.. I would drive alone.. and come to this One spot.. where I am able to get Out of the Car.. and I am able to sit.. this One Lake.. and I would watch the waters.. so Peaceful and Nice out.. I would always bring a Bottle.. and with me is the Shot Glass next to the Bottle.. and I would sit still.. I would be looking at your Picture.. makes me think more of you when I am by the Lake.. of course I know that I am not going to find you near.. but.. knowing you are so Far.. I still feel like YOU are near.. as Long as I have your picture in my hand.. and I am able to tell YOU some how.. How I feel this very night.. I would be asking for Your Heart.. I even brought the Empty Glass jar.. I know that your Heart can't fit in this Empty Glass Jar.. I know YOU have a Big Heart.. But I still want Your Heart.. I would be sitting down.. looking at your Picture.. my Chest burns when my eyes looks at YOU.. holding your Picture in my Heart.. Can I please imagine that YOU are here.. Can YOU please tell me that I can close both of my eyes and say that YOU are here.. that YOU are near.. but when both of my eyes are opened.. I know that YOU are gone.. leaving this space between us.. this distance which makes me even miss YOU more.. when Can I see YOU.. when will you ever be close to me.. Do you know the times when we can see each Other.. but every time I close my eyes and I imagine.. I know that I feel you so close.. so Near to me.. that I want my arms to hold YOU.. Hold you close and tight.. and I want to tell your ears.. How much I missed YOU.. ever since the day One.. I have been missing you ever since.. Please.. tell me that YOU are near.. I would grab your Picture.. and I would keep on looking at YOU.. this Picture.. it burns my Chest.. Burns like I put my hand on the stove.. and I can feel the fire burning.. it hurts when My chest burns.. like I get too many chest pains.. I get a lot of chest pains when I look at your picture.. I wonder why.. I want to stop these pains I get.. my chest hurts.. and I can feel my Heart screaming from inside.. I can Hear my Heart hurting.. with Chest pains of asking me.. WHY does my Heart keep on hurting.. only if my eyes can stop looking at your picture.. I know it can stop all these attacks in my Heart causing my Chest to Burn.. I just want to drop my Heart.. maybe Toss my Heart into the lake where the Waters are near to cool my Heart down.. But.. I don't want to lose my Heart.. I need my Heart so that I can love YOU and tell YOU How much I love YOU when I have my Heart close to Me.. as I would be looking at the Bottle.. I open the top of the lid.. I know that I should stop drinking.. the more I drink by taking shots.. the More I miss YOU and wish that you are here.. I would be wondering.. when I can I see you.. when will it be the day where I don't have to miss YOU.. and stop these pains.. these aching of longing for your presence.. to Hold YOU.. Hold you in my arms and to look at Your Heart.. I am going to be looking for your Heart to tell YOUR Heart.. look what you have done to my Heart.. Keep on missing YOU.. I would place the shot Glass close.. and pour the bottle into the Shot Glass.. placing the Bottle on the ground.. as my hand grabs the Shot Glass.. I would open my mouth.. and take a Shot.. I wonder if this is going to cool my Chest down.. but It burns as it goes in.. I can feel the burning and this ache just won't go away.. my hand grabs your Picture and I would look at your Picture.. why do YOU have to be so far from me.. I know that I be missing YOU like crazy.. when I look at your Picture.. sitting by the lake.. looking at the waters.. Looking at the stars.. asking the Moon.. I want wings.. I need wings.. Please give me two wings.. so that I don't have to be suffering like this.. and taking shots.. and keep on missing YOU.. How do I get me two wings.. I know that be the fastest way for me to get to YOU.. so that I don't have to miss you.. whenever I miss YOU.. I know that the two wings can help me.. lift me Out of this Misery.. so even from the distance.. looking at you from distance and able to see YOU.. I think the missing YOU will go away.. but when YOU are sitting here out by yourself.. and knowing there is a space and distance and my eyes can't see YOU.. On this very Night.. I would start to think of YOU more and more.. I want to tell YOU.. I want to hold YOU.. I want to hear Your voice.. your laughter.. I want to see your expression when I am near YOU.. what would you do If I was near YOU.. and knowing how much I love YOU.. what would you do if I am able to get me two wings.. I am able to fly over and just to see YOU.. because of missing YOU.. would you let me stay by your side.. would you push me away.. or would you greet me with a smile.. because I don't want to show UP if you think that I am a creep.. if I would scare you when my intentions.. my motives is all about loving YOU and telling YOU how much I love YOU.. I only want to show up to tell YOU that.. Not asking for anything More.. would you open your Heart to receive.. accept how much I love YOU.. or are you going to tell me to get Lost and push me out of the way.. I want to be near so that I can tell YOU I can be gentle.. and be more tender.. and too tell Your Heart.. showing YOU the Picture.. the picture of YOU.. and holding the empty Glass Jar.. that I been waiting for Your Heart.. that I want Your Heart.. and this is the proof.. that there is nothing more in this world I want.. but I need your Heart.. all I need is your Heart and to show YOU the Empty Glass jar.. and the reason why I have brought it empty.. to show YOU,, I want what is inside of YOU.. that is Your Heart.. Nothing more.. and I would wait.. wait for Your answer.. and I will show YOU the two Wings.. this is the wings I have received when I was sitting by the shore.. I was at the Lake.. looking at the waters.. and I would show YOU the picture.. I know that this picture belongs to YOU.. but I had to keep it for myself.. ever since I have seen your Picture.. I just got lost by Your Beauty.. by your presences.. and I knew.. YOU are the only One for Me.. so Please.. take my word as being so true.. so real.. because it is My Heart.. coming from my Heart.. Now.. ever since I got this Picture.. I just could not keep away.. I wanted you close.. I wanted you near to myself.. I am so sorry if I have your Picture.. I am so sorry for looking at your picture and falling in love with Your Beauty.. YOU know that YOU are so Beautiful.. there is NO Other words I can say to YOU but to say.. YOU are the Most Beautiful.. when I look at YOU.. and I see you smile.. whenever I see your Smile.. I feel like a foot kicks my Heart.. very hard it kicks that I feel my Chest Burns.. and keeps on burning.. But I just can't keep it to myself.. I just can't help it but to share.. to tell YOU.. I need Your Heart.. so that I know for sure I can really Love YOU.. as I would pull out a Note.. with me is a Pen.. and I would start to write on this note.. LOOKING at Your Picture.. grabbing the BOTTLE and pouring into the Shot Glass.. placing the Bottle on the ground.. I pick UP the Shot Glass and I would take a SHOT at it.. placing the Shot Glass on the ground next to the Bottle.. I can feel it.. I can feel my Heart.. It tells me that My Heart is burning.. it is burning me from the inside.. I needs to take a breathe.. because YOU are taking my Breathe away.. as I am looking at the Note.. writing with the Pen.. telling YOU that I miss YOU.. when can I see YOU.. It burns me.. giving me Chest pains because I am missing YOU.. over and over again.. I keep on missing YOU.. will this Note goes to YOU.. if I put this Note in this Bottle.. I wonder how far the current of this water can push the Bottle through.. will it goes to YOU.. will you receive this Message that I wrote on the Note in this Bottle.. if the Current of the waters are strong enough to let this Bottle goes across.. I want this Message in the bottle to go to YOU.. I don't want another hand grabbing this Bottle because it is all written to tell YOU How Much I love YOU.. and How much I miss YOU.. I don't think it can go far.. I don't want the wrong person.. wrong hand
Oink Oink.. I am laying on the Bed in the room.. I am hearing songs playing in my Head.. even though I can't sing.. I can't even dance.. I can't even write Music or even compose.. I can't even write any lyrics.. But.. tell me why is a SONG playing in my Head.. and the room is dark because the Light has turned off in the room.. I am moving side to side.. and I am thinking of YOU.. I want to play a SONG for you.. only if I was a musician.. I would sit.. writing lyrics.. and writing the song notes.. composing a Music.. and I be thinking of what to say.. to express this Heart.. and to tell YOU through Music.. playing instrument to say that I love YOU.. but How.. How can I tell YOU that I love YOU more.. if only I have listened.. and what good is it now of regretting.. the Times when someone came to try to teach me how to play a song.. as I am sitting on top of the Bed.. I feel like the Times has gone by so Fast.. that I realize I am missing something to share.. to tell YOU more.. Is only Letters that I can tell YOU.. But My Heart wants to tell YOU so much More.. How can I tell YOU when YOU can't hear me on the Other side.. and I want to say something to YOU.. to YOUR HEART.. as I am looking at the corner of the ROOM.. I see the Little Piano.. it has been sitting there for a Long time.. and I would touch the key bars.. I would just press the key bars to bring Out the Sounds.. but I know that I can't play anything on that Little Piano.. but I wish I could.. I wish I have so that I can tell YOU.. only if I have two things.. YOUR HEART.. when are YOU going to give me Your Heart.. so that I can place YOUR Heart close to this Little Piano.. at least YOU can hear noises and sounds coming Out from that Little Piano.. and I would place your Heart.. Putting inside the Glass Jar.. and I would sit.. bringing a chair so that I can sit next to the Little Piano.. I would place the Glass Jar.. with Your Heart.. on Top of the Little Piano.. and I be crying looking at Your Heart as My Heart be burning inside of me because I love YOU.. I would say.. do YOU Hear me.. can YOU Heart this Heart.. it is burning and beating fast at the same time.. WHY can't YOU see me.. why can't you hear Me.. as I would pull the Letter.. with the pencil in my hand.. and I would LOOK at the Glass Jar.. LOOKING at Your Heart.. OH HOW MUCH I wanted to say something to this Heart of Yours.. and it has been such a Long time I been asking for this Heart.. why did it take so Long for Your Heart to come.. Now I am much older and grey.. do YOU think that I can walk properly and just waiting for the grave.. can I still tell YOU when I am laying on my own grave.. it has taken this Long.. I am an Older Man now.. and YOU are wondering.. will I still be able to love YOU as where I am Now.. I believe the age is nothing when it comes to Loving YOU.. fully embracing my self.. my Heart to love YOU and to tell YOU HOW much I love YOU.. and as I would be writing YOU a Letter.. with the Pencil.. I be crying looking at the Glass Jar.. crying because I am able to express fully.. to tell YOU by looking at Your Heart.. I am dying inside because I love YOU so Much.. I am dying because I love YOU.. I can feel my own blood rushing down because I can't stop but just loving YOU.. if YOU are to ask me why I died.. what will be written is because I just loved YOU to death.. I couldn't stop loving YOU so I died just waiting for YOU.. I would be writing a SONG.. playing on this Little Piano of what happened to me the Night before I died.. it is because I loved YOU SO MUCH.. just waiting for YOU but YOU never showed UP.. as my hairs turn grey.. and Just waiting.. it is because I love YOU.. after I write on this Letter of How much I love YOU.. I would look at the Glass jar.. looking at Your Heart and I would look at the Key Bars of this Little Piano.. I am Not sure what to push.. which key bars to press down.. the sounds are Not going to come Out right.. but would YOU still listen to the Sounds that each Key bars makes when my fingers presses down.. It is because I want to say something to YOU.. if YOU are asking me what am I going to say through the Sounds of playing on this LITTLE PIANO pushing the Key bars.. I don't want YOU to listen to the Music sound because it will Not make any sense of tunes it brings.. but What counts is that I want YOUR HEART to listen.. please listen to the voice I want to speak as YOU can hear the back ground sounds playing something.. I want to show YOU that it is Not the Noise or the sounds of the Little Piano speaking to YOU but it is My Heart.. I have a heart just like the Heart I am looking in the glass Jar.. I just want to say that I love YOU.. as my fingers starts to press on the key bars of this Little Piano.. my eyes are On the Glass Jar with Your Heart inside.. I want to touch Your Heart.. I want to feel Your Heart.. can YOU hear me now.. Can YOU hear my voice speaking.. I am talking to Your Heart.. that I love YOU.. HOW MUCH MORE WORDS I must say.. I must tell or share for YOU to understand My Heart.. as I am crying looking at Your Heart.. I just want to spend the rest of my Life of just loving YOU.. but YOU are so far away.. this Miles and separations.. the long distances that is killing me from the Inside.. sometimes I wonder what do I do if I keep on missing YOU and I am asking for Your Presence.. I would ask.. take me away because I am suffering.. Take me away first.. Please let me Die.. then I don't have to bear all this pain.. I am suffering because I love YOU.. I feel so painful inside because I love YOU.. I want to see YOU and be close to YOU.. what am I suppose to do when YOU are so far.. miles away that it feels I can never reach YOU.. as I am looking at the fingers.. I do hear sounds coming out from this Little Piano but I have NO idea what I am playing.. it sounds very bad because there is NO song.. this is NOT a music at all.. and YOU are asking me why am I playing on this Little Piano if I can't play a song.. and It sounds so bad.. I want Your Heart to know that it is Not the Sound or the Music.. but Please hear my voice.. YOU can hear my voice clearly if the song is not playing right.. so that I can speak to this Heart.. to Your Heart.. I want to tell YOU that I am missing YOU.. so what do YOU do when YOU be missing.. how will YOU react when YOU start to miss a lot.. and It drives YOU crazy.. It drives YOU like a wild person.. what will YOU DO if YOU were to be in my place.. that is why I am asking you right Now.. this is what I am dealing with.. this is what I am going through.. that I am going nuts.. I am going crazy because I am missing YOU.. as I would pick up the Letter I wrote YOU.. and sitting on this chair by the Little Piano.. my fingers stop pressing the Key bars of this Little Piano.. there is a great silence in the room.. as I am looking at the writings on this Letters.. It is written to tell YOU what My Heart is going through.. and I look at the Glass Jar.. Looking at Your Heart.. I want to speak and share what I wrote on this Letter.. I want to LOOK at the Glass Jar.. and speak.. tell your Heart what I am feeling right Now.. but I just can't.. My words will Not come Out.. I want to say it to Your Heart.. but My Lips is moving.. Words are not coming out.. it is because I am sitting on the TOP of the Bed.. the ROOM is dark.. and the Little Piano is on the corner.. and I am trying to go to sleep.. but I just can't.. and Keeps me awake.. My Heart is crying.. My eyes are crying.. My Head is crying because I am crying.. crying for YOU.. wanting YOU close in my arms.. and to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. but I can't.. I get Out of the bed.. since I can't sleep.. I walk to the window and I look Out.. I see the rain falling from the sky and it is still raining slightly.. I feel like this Rain.. my Heart wants to rain because my eyes kept on raining.. will these tears ever stop from my Eyes.. how about my Heart.. I can hear my Heart weeping Loud inside.. asking for YOU.. calling Out your Name.. asking for YOU over and over again.. when can I see YOU again.. when will that day be.. YOU know that I feel like the rain I am seeing outside this room.. and it just don't stop.. lately it has been raining so much.. that It reminds of myself when I look YOU at.. when I look at your Picture.. and I sit.. I be asking for YOU.. that My Heart keeps on raining and when will this rain STOPS.. as I turn away from the Window.. in the Dark.. I see the Little Piano Looking at Me.. asking me to Play a SONG for YOU.. and I would stop and just look at it on the corner.. asking the Little Piano.. what song can I play for YOU.. I can't even play any instrument.. I wished that I learned when I had the chance.. but I did Not wanted to when I was young.. But Now I do regret so much for Not learning because If I learned at that time.. and I would of mastered playing the Little Piano.. I could of have composed a Music and wrote a song for YOU.. and even wrote a Lyrics that goes with the SONG.. I would of have brought the tape recorder in front of me and of course I would of played the Little Piano.. bringing sounds but it be a song just for YOU.. as I would of sang YOU the song while sharing the Lyrics.. after I would of finished playing the Little Piano and sang YOU the SONG.. I would also of read the Letter that I wrote so that YOU know that How much I put into the work.. of telling YOU that I love YOU.. I would of said to YOU.. In front me is the Glass Jar.. Please just imagine with Me.. that I have a Glass Jar.. Inside that Glass jar is Your Heart sitting there.. I would look at YOUR Heart and with Loving YOU I be inspired to share and to write YOU something.. telling YOU.. I saw YOUR Heart.. I saw Your Heart which I waited for a Long time.. I just could Not let Your Heart get away.. when I saw YOUR Heart.. I decided to Put your Heart inside this empty Glass jar
I am looking at the Two baby Teddy Bears.. the Twins and I would be smiling.. SO Beautiful and So Cute.. as they are both sitting next to each other.. I want to Hold the Little Son and the Little Daughter.. Both holding Your Pictures and Looking at YOU.. I would hear the Word MOMMA.. Where is my MOMMA and I would see the Eyes looking at me.. I am trying to get the two to go into the Bed.. but.. It seems like they do NOT want to go to sleep yet.. and I am not sure.. but around this Time.. I would put them into the ROOM and Into their Cribs.. But this very Night.. I see the Two.. the Little SON.. with the Baby Blue shirt.. the Little Daughter with Pink Shirt.. a BOW on top of the Head.. I am looking at the two Bowls.. as I would LOOK at the Phone and to Face TIME you so that the Two Can say something to their MOMMA.. as I am calling YOU on the Phone.. I cannot believe that the Little Daughter.. She does NOT cry any more when I try to Pick her UP.. my Smile grows and I can't believe it.. as I see YOU on the Face TIME.. I wanted to share this news.. and I see YOU.. and YOU be smiling.. but I am also so Happy right Now.. and I hear Your Voice.. the Two baby Teddy Bears.. I see the eyes grows Big and the ears be moving.. Knowing that It is a Voice so Familiar to Them.. and I hear.. the Little SON.. with BABY BLUE shirt.. both Arms raises and hands opens.. MOMMA.. and I be smiling.. Yes.. It is MOMMA.. Your MOMMA on the Phone.. and I see the LITTLE DAUGHTER.. raising UP the Bowl.. saying the FOOD is finished.. and SMILES looking at Me.. with this JOY in my Heart.. I can't stop crying because It was so hard to get this LITTLE ONE.. the LITTLE DAUGHTER to eat.. I did Not want to force anything.. and I would hear crying and never thought that this day would could.. as I would turn the Phone where the Face TIME shows Your Face.. the Two BABY TEDDY BEARS.. the Little SON.. the Lips.. SMILES so BIG with his Sister.. the Little Daughter.. and I see the hands be waving looking at YOU.. I just got this Bow.. the Pink Bow for the Little Daughter.. I just could Not believe that the Little Daughter.. I would sit next to her.. holding the Bowl with a Spoon.. I was Not sure if she would eat or Not.. But.. I started to cry as I put Rice and Beef Meat.. she opens her mouth and starts to chew and eat.. I wanted to call you with the Face Time to show YOU the Little Daughter.. there would been a lot of fits and pushes.. head turning on the Side and I could Not put anything Into her mouth.. and I would sit.. just worried to death.. but Now.. as I am looking at YOU on the Face TIME.. I would hear YOU telling your Children that YOU be coming Home very soon.. and that How much MOMMA misses her babies.. and How you wanted to come sooner.. and watching the Two.. the Little BABY TEDDY BEARS.. holding hands would not go to sleep.. knowing you be coming Home tomorrow must of gave some kind of excitement in the Hearts of Your Children.. and this Morning.. I know that the Little SON.. I would put the Bowl next to HIM.. he would eat alone without any Help.. but Putting the bowl Next to the Little Daughter.. She would Not eat.. I would try to tell the Little Daughter.. if YOU don't eat.. you can get sick.. and I will be sick too and even Your MOMMA be sick with me too.. so Please.. eat so that I can share HOW good daughter YOU BEEN with me.. and I would come closer.. as I sit Next to the Little Daughter.. I grabbed a PINK BOW and Put on top.. showing the Mirror to say.. YOU are the Most Prettiest Little Daughter I ever seen.. and I saw the smile.. grabbing the SPOON.. putting a RICE and the beef.. the Mouth opens wide and I put the spoon into her mouth.. as I see her chew and eat.. I just could NOT hold my tears in.. I just could Not believe that finally I am able to feed this Little Daughter.. in the hand.. there is a Picture.. I would open her Hand and to look at what Picture and it is a Picture of YOU.. and I would look at YOU through this Picture.. my hand touches My Chest and I would say.. WHY do you Burn my Heart.. WHY do you do this TO ME and even bringing the Twins.. the Little SON and the Little Daughter.. my Heart beat faster as I spend the time with Them.. they are so Adorable and so Cute.. never imagined in my Life that I could even fall more harder for YOU because I feel like I am a part of something Bigger now.. I remember when YOU first called me on the Phone.. and asking ME that YOU had to go somewhere.. and YOU had a problem.. that YOU could Not take your Children with YOU.. and needed them to be place by somewhere safe and secure and wanted to ask me a Favor.. if I could baby sit your children while YOU are away on this Business journey.. I remember I paused for a few minutes.. trying to think straight because I was Not sure if it was the right THING to bring your Two Children.. and YOU told me that they are two.. One is a Boy and the Other is a girl.. and they are Twins.. Little SON and the Little Daughter.. and it is a hard decision for YOU to leave them behind but this trip was very important for YOU.. of course I did Not want to say NO.. I had NO experience of How to deal with kids.. I never had any children on my own so I am Not sure what I am suppose to DO.. but.. of course I know that THIS IS a very Important business meeting.. this trip YOU must take and YOU MUST go so I told YOU.. Yes.. it is because I love YOU.. it is because It is YOU and as long as it is YOU WHO I LOVE the Most.. it does Not matter.. because I will try to be a GOOD baby sitter.. I remember when the DOOR knocked on the Front Door.. did Not expected much.. opening the DOOR.. I saw the Two crying.. I was Not sure.. How am I suppose to handle both be crying.. holding unto MOMMA.. and when YOU try to bring the LITTLE SON closer.. and He was in your Arm and the Little Daughter.. You were holding her hands.. and I saw your steps closer asking me to hold and Carry the Little SON.. he started to Cry Louder as He came into my Arms.. and the Little Daughter started to cry louder and sat on the Floor.. did Not want to come into the House.. and as I would look at this.. My Heart started to feel cracking inside.. started to feel this breaking deep within me.. WHY.. they do not understand why YOU have to leave them with Me.. and when I went inside the House holding the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little SON.. He is looking at YOU from the back.. arms stretching to YOU.. and Made me stop.. My Heart just could Not handle this pain of hearing this ONE cry and asking for YOU.. asking for His MOMMA and WHY you had to leave HIM with me.. and I would stand still thinking.. what am I suppose to do if they keep on crying.. asking for YOU.. and what do I do when they keep crying over and over.. and I turn around to ask YOU this Question.. I see you walk into this House.. YOU were holding the Other Little BABY Teddy Bear.. the Little Daughter.. and YOU went over to the Couch and Put the Little Daughter to sit still and I would come over to Place and sit the Little SON next to her.. both crying.. and hands be rubbing the eyes looking at YOU and Looking at me.. and I would say.. and YOU would give a Phone to the Little Daughter.. and Placing the Hand of the Little SON.. telling the Two YOU be coming Home soon.. and that I am a BABY Sitter for few days so Don't cry.. and I see the two Stop crying when YOU tell them that.. and I see YOU with Your Other Phone and YOU dial the Number.. and the Phone would ring.. the Little Daughter looks at the Phone.. the Little SON looks at the Phone and presses.. and It is the Face Time.. and the two looks at the Face Time.. I see YOU walking back.. and YOU are talking to the two Little BABY TEDDY BEARS and I would watch them smile.. hands be waving looking at YOU through the Phone and giving them two Pictures.. One for the Little SON and the Other for the Little Daughter.. so that YOU are near and YOU gave me One too.. and as I would look at YOU.. I would watch YOU say good bye and Left the Front Door.. I remember the first Night.. I just could Not sleep at all.. and the two Would Not sleep either.. both sitting on the Couch and would be crying.. asking for YOU.. for MOMMA.. of course every one Hour I would hear the Phone ringing and the Two siting next to each Other.. they would fight for the Phone.. pushing the Button for the Face TIME.. I see them showing Teeth and growling that One of them has to talk and the Other.. as I would watch still on the corner.. I did Not want to bother any of them because of how the two.. the Little BABY TEDDY bears kept on crying crying after YOU would hang UP the Phone.. pushing and shoving who is going to answer next.. after a long period of time crying.. I would hear silence.. and when I look at the Couch.. the two be sleeping next to each other.. and I would walk into the ROOM.. and the Picture YOU gave me.. I would go over to the desk and sit alone.. looking at your Picture.. I would be thinking.. they been crying all through the day after you left.. and the two do Not want to eat either.. they do NOT want to drink any waters.. sits on that couch.. LOOKS at your Pictures crying and looks at the Phone to see it rings.. and I am looking at your Picture.. but YOU are so Beautiful.. why did YOU have to bring those two into my House and I know that I have NO experience with children.. what if they keep on crying asking for YOU.. I hear where is MOMMA.. why isn't MOMMA calling the Phone.. and Keeps on crying for YOU.. and Now there is Peace and silence as I am sitting in this ROOM alone.. of course if the Two Little Ones are crying Out for YOU.. asking and missing YOU.. I know that my Heart truly feels the same.. that I do want to see YOU SOON too and that I know what the two Little TEDDY BEARS are feeling
Again.. this Cry.. it cries and cries.. My Heart cries OUT loud the way the two Baby Teddy Bears be crying Out.. wiping the Tears.. grabbing unto the Phone.. pushing each Other for the Next to LOOK at YOU.. saying It is Mine turn to see.. and cries after the Hanging UP on the Phone and looking at YOU.. LOOKING at your Picture crying of these sorrows in the Hearts.. I would watch the Two Little BABY Teddy bears.. sitting on that Couch.. I know that Heart.. I can feel that Pain in the Heart because that is HOW I feel to when YOU are Gone.. when YOU are far away which leaves me to be more lonely than ever.. just to be with YOU.. just to tell YOU.. but my Words can't say it.. I see the two., saying I MISS YOU.. and I love YOU.. LOOKING at you when the Two looks at YOU through the Face Time.. but I stand still.. it kills me the Most.. it eats me at it inside because I wish that I can be like the two TEDDY BEARS.. your Children who is able to say it and tell It the way it just feels inside but I just cannot.. and I would watch them cry.. I cry with the Two watching on the SIDELINE because.. I want to go over to the Phone.. looking at you on the Face TIME and when I look at you through the PHONE on FACE TIME.. just to tell YOU with my tears in my eyes to say it with Means.. I miss YOU and I love YOU.. why can't you be here so that I don't needs to cry any more and watch the Children to cry along with me.. it burns My Heart into pieces.. it burns because it hurts so much.. this PAIN of loving YOU.. I may become sick.. sick inside because I am Loving you just too much just for too long.. that IS how much I love YOU.. I am looking at your Picture.. just thinking about YOU.. if I am sitting here.. and just missing YOU.. I wonder about the two Little Ones.. the Baby Teddy Bears be feeling.. I am looking at the Son.. and I am looking at the Daughter.. Both so adorable and so Cute.. and I want to see YOU.. of course both are in the cribs and they are sleeping.. I just came Out of the room.. and two rooms in this House.. as I am thinking about the Long Day.. I would be hearing crying.. Just crying for Momma.. and I would be showing the two Little Teddy Bears Your Picture.. and I would see the Son.. I would say.. this is Your MOMMA.. do you see her.. which I am speaking about You.. and the Little Son.. He would grab your Picture with both hands.. and Looks at the Picture.. sitting on the Couch.. and I am looking at him.. standing UP.. I would see the two tears.. lines of tears running down the cheeks.. and I am thinking.. what am I suppose to do.. This Little Son is crying for YOU.. and I see the kiss.. kissing the Picture of YOU and saying.. MOMMA.. MOMMA I miss YOU and I am just standing.. am I suppose to call YOU on the Phone.. of course the Little Son is more quiet.. but the Daughter.. has a pink Bow on top of the Head.. wearing Pink shirt.. I know that this Daughter is Hungry.. I remember you calling me on the Phone.. and I would hear the ringing.. so I pick UP the Phone.. and I hear YOU on the Other side of the Line.. and I am looking at the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. I would sit Her on the Diner Table.. and she Sits on the chair you brought from your Home.. I would be trying to tell YOU.. why doesn't the Daughter Eat.. I know that she must be hungry.. but I am looking at her.. the Daughter.. sitting on her chair.. and I see the head turns to look at me.. and crying.. I can hear the weeping loud.. asking where is MOMMA.. I miss MOMMA and I would just stand there.. what am I suppose to do.. and I would be walking to the Diner room.. and I would stand by the chair the Daughter is sitting down.. and I would lower myself to look at the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. and I would ask.. Can I face Time YOU.. so that this Daughter can take a Look at you.. she has been crying.. and I would ask if she wanted to eat.. the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter would tell me No.. I just fed the Little Son.. did Not cry at all when I gave him some bowl of rice.. as I would face time YOU.. and I am looking at you through the Screen.. I really miss YOU.. of course I am not just going to stand here and cry like these two little Ones are.. but I want to see YOU.. if I am missing you a lot.. then I wonder how these two be feeling.. and I would show the Little baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter the Face time.. and I see that She loves to see YOU.. and wiping the tears for her eyes and looking at you.. I hear the voice.. words.. I miss My MOMMA.. Where are YOU.. when are YOU coming Home.. and I can feel my Heart be shaking hear those words.. and I see you on the face time.. YOU are smiling looking at the Daughter.. I hear the words from YOU telling the Daughter.. I love YOU.. and I miss You too.. and My Heart.. my hand touch my chest.. did YOU hear that.. it is my Heart just woke UP to those words.. I am looking at you on Face time.. I wish that those words be said to Me.. I wonder if YOU would ever tell me those words.. I know that YOU love the two Baby Little Teddy Bears.. your Little Son and the Daughter.. both staying at my House.. but.. I want you to come soon.. I never thought it be this hard to be missing YOU.. but when I am looking at the two Little Teddy Bears and they are missing YOU.. and watching them both crying.. and Looking for YOU and waiting for YOU.. it breaks my Heart.. especially every Night.. I would watch the Little Baby Teddy Bear the Son.. He would sit on the floor and Looks at the front door.. and Just looks at the door knob.. and just stares for a while.. waiting for YOU.. and finger points at the Door Knob and turns the Head to look at me.. asking me.. MOMMA.. take to My MOMMA.. is MOMMA coming home tonight.. and turns the head to look UP at the Door.. as I would stand behind with few steps behind.. I do not want to go pick him up.. the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Son.. when I go and share the bad news that YOU are Not coming Home.. I hate to see because when my hands reach and arms hold the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little son.. right when I pick him Up.. He starts to cry.. and Loud and Loud cries I hear.. I hate it because He would Not stop crying.. I don't want to say to HIM.. MOMMA is Not coming home tonight.. and When I do.. the Cry grows louder and louder and screams for MOMMA.. my Heart.. I can feel my Heart be shaking because I want to scream and cry too.. because It breaks my Heart.. after few minutes of crying.. I see that He goes to sleep.. in my arms wrapped around.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear sit still.. and I go into the room.. where the two cribs are.. put into the Crib where he sleeps.. I know that YOU told me about a week YOU are going to stay away.. going on a vacation but I am wondering.. why did YOU not take these two with YOU.. and had to leave them with Me.. Now as I am looking at YOU.. on the Face time on the screen.. I would look at the Daughter smiling.. waving the hand at YOU.. and giggles and wiggles.. and I hear you saying to be a Nice baby girl.. and telling the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter that She needs to eat.. if she is hungry.. to eat.. that I am Not a bad person.. but there to be here for the two.. so I am smiling as the baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter sits on the chair.. and saying Yes to your words.. I have already prepared for the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I have her Bowl with rice and Meat.. I have set it on the table where she is sitting.. and I would take the Phone away from Her.. and I am looking at YOU.. I hear the crying starting after I took the Phone away.. as I am looking at YOU on the screen of this Face Time.. I would hear YOU say to me.. I am suppose to feed Her.. that she loves it when I sit next to her.. and I feed her with the Spoon.. the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son is more like On his Own but She is different.. like a baby.. and I hear more crying from Her.. and so I would pull the chair.. the chair I sit to eat and I would sit next to her.. and I give the Phone to the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I would pick Her up and let her sit on my Lap.. as the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Daughter sits.. I would look at the Bowl of rice.. scooping with the Spoon.. putting a Cow meat on top.. I am looking at the Little Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. she opens her mouth Wide.. and she is looking at YOU on the Phone screen on Face time.. and I see YOU looking at the BABY TEDDY BEAR.. the Daughter.. and I hear you smile.. and saying.. GOOD JOB.. and I can hear her chewing and eating.. I was truly scared that this One may go starve.. I tried to give her the same Bowl of Rice and the beef meat.. had to cut the meat into smaller pieces.. but would Not eat when I tried.. But now.. I see the main reason why the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear would not take it from a strange person.. I see How delicate this One truly is.. I would see the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. showing YOU her teeth and showing how she is chewing.. as I would scoop another bowl of rice.. putting a smaller pieces of beef meat on the top.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter opening the Mouth wide.. the spoon enters gently into and I see how she is able to take it all in as she starts to chew.. and I pull away the Spoon out of the mouth.. I am looking at the Baby Teddy bear.. the Daughter How much she enjoys looking at YOU through this Phone Screen on the Face time.. and smiles looking at YOU.. after the chewing is done.. I am able to look at you through the Phone of the screen.. I hear YOU telling the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. How much YOU love.. and How much you miss.. and asking about her brother.. so I am able to raise her UP and Put her on the Chair where she sits.. as I take the Phone away.. I start to hear Crying.. I mean is this One going to keep on crying every time I take the Phone away.. But I knew that the Little Son also wanted to see YOU
Is sitting on the floor.. and close to the Door.. looking at the door Knob.. I would put the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter on the Couch and she sits there.. so I would walk where the door is at.. I would put my arms around HIM.. lift him Up.. the Little Son.. his both arms reaches.. hands open for the door and I hear him crying.. waiting for MOMMA.. as I am walking away.. WHY do I have to feel this Crumbling crash from the Inside of my Heart.. I do not want to keep on hearing all these cries.. I would take him to the couch.. and let HIM sit on the couch next to his sister.. as I would stand and I would pull away from the couch.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son.. he turns to look at the Phone and looks at the Screen.. He looks closer and sees someone.. I hear MOMMA.. Me MOMMA.. and smiles.. both looks at each other and looks at the Screen of the Phone.. at the Face Time.. I would hear.. MOMMA.. I am waiting by the door.. are YOU going to come and take Us.. I miss YOU MOMMA.. I love YOU MOMMA.. as I am looking at the two Baby Little Teddy Bears.. both smiles very big looking at YOU on the Phone of the screen on face time.. MOMMA.. I love YOU.. MOMMA.. I want to see YOU.. and I would stand there.. I would watch until the Phone gets hung UP.. and Both starts to feel tired and they would sleep next to each Other.. I am looking at the Room.. the Door where the two Baby Teddy Bears are sleeping.. and I know that They were so glad and happy to see YOU.. as I am sitting in the Diner Room.. I am looking at Your Picture.. It has been a long day but time flies so Fast because busy with the Two baby Little Teddy Bears.. I am just looking at Your Picture.. Just missing YOU.. just hoping YOU would come home sooner.. Not because of the two Baby Teddy Bears.. but Just missing YOU around.. I know that I haven't said this Lately.. But I do Love YOU.. I love YOU just too much.. and I just missing YOU right Now.. please tell me this.. when are YOU coming Home.. so that I can see YOU.. so that I can tell YOU how much I missed YOU and still be missing YOU.. just to tell YOU how much I love YOU too.. that YOU are who I love the Most.. and has never stopped loving YOU.. I am sitting on the Couch.. on my Lap is the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. Next to me sitting is the Other baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I am smiling.. looking at the Picture.. and on my Lap.. the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear is looking at YOU.. and I am missing YOU.. asking when YOU are coming.. I want to show you the Two Little Ones.. the children are getting better as the days go by.. I haven't heard them be crying.. and as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. I see you holding the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear.. and YOU are sitting on the couch and next to YOU is the Daughter.. who is smiling sitting next to YOU.. it is the same situation.. My finger touch over your face.. and I hear the Little Son.. asking for Mama.. and I would show the Little Son.. and Show the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear.. the Picture of YOU and as the Little Son looks at you through the Picture.. and I would say.. yes.. I miss too.. I want to see YOU.. but It seems like it is going to take a little Longer.. I remember few days ago.. a Phone would ring and I answered the Call.. Hearing your Voice on the Other Line.. telling me that YOU are going to stay a little More Longer and will delay the flight.. I could not tell the two.. the Two Little Baby Teddy bears.. I know that if I tell them.. they are going to cry for YOU.. and I do not like it when both children sits and cries for YOU.. do YOU know How much that Hurts me because they are hurting over YOU.. the way I feel about YOU.. so I asked YOU.. if I can keep it a secret and not to tell the Daughter and the Little Son because I know.. you do not know how it breaks my Heart.. when I have to stand still or sit.. watching them cry.. when the One starts to cry.. the Other joins in to cry along side.. and they both be looking at Your Picture.. and turns to LOOK at me.. asking where YOU are.. asking where is MOMMA.. and what am I suppose to say.. I had to watch both looking at the door.. both sits next to each other.. and they are looking at the front door.. and LOOKS at me.. keeps looking at me and I know what they both are saying.. where are YOU.. I have to say.. YOU are going on a long meeting.. I think for a business trip.. MOMMA needs to go to make Money so that YOU can buy good things and I would try to explain what the good things are.. but of course they do not get what I am saying at all.. They are too young to understand or knows these things.. as I would sit on the couch.. putting the Little Son and sits on my Lap.. I would give the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear the Picture.. of course If I give the Little SON a picture of YOU.. I would look at the Daughter who looks at Me.. and wants to have a picture of YOU.. she keeps on looking UP at me which she is sitting next to Me.. I have to have a picture of YOU.. so I asked for three pictures to be sent.. they be fighting over Your Picture which the two would always cry over.. taking my picture away.. I remember calling you on the Phone.. I asked YOU if YOU can bring and sent three pictures.. so NO ONE fights over or cries.. or fusses.. Now.. there has been a great peace and Joy in this House.. as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. I miss YOU.. when I have the two baby teddy bears.. which they are Your Children.. it seems like I miss YOU more and More.. because they came from YOU.. and so Beautiful children.. and I would hear giggles from the Daughter.. she points and shows me YOU.. and I hear the word MOMMA.. and asks me.. where is MOMMA.. and I would look down at the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. and I would tell her.. working.. and the Little SON turns and looks.. and asks me the same question.. and I hear I MISS YOU MOMMA.. and it hurts.. I have to hear these words out of these two children.. why is it that I am hurting more.. I am hurting much more when the Two.. the Daughter and the Little Son.. they would look at your Picture and tells me.. MOMMA.. I miss YOU.. and Keeps on showing the Picture of YOU to me.. and tells me I love YOU.. and I miss MOMMA.. I am sitting on the couch.. they are expressing what I am feeling all of the Time.. I know that I can truly relate but the problem is there is Nothing I can do.. what am I suppose to say when YOU Miss.. and has NO answers to what I am feeling because I know How it is hurting me More.. I feel like for myself.. but when YOU can the children involve.. I feel like I am taking more loads on my Heart.. why can't you come Home.. why cant you come sooner.. the two are always missing YOU.. asking me where are YOU.. and they sit on the floor.. LOOKING at the front Door.. and I know if I try to pick the two UP.. One will cry because.. and I have to hear the other One cry too.. and it can get to YOU sometimes.. I wish I can find a way that NO ONE gets hurt and I just don't have to be hearing more cries.. as I walk out of the room.. I would watch the two Baby Teddy Bears falls asleep.. I had to give the two a Bath.. putting the Bubbles into the bath tub.. the two enjoyed taking a Bath in the bubble.. I had to put them into the Crib because It was the bed Time.. I grab a Book and started to read them and I saw the two baby Teddy Bears.. the Little SON and the Daughter.. they both started to sleep while I was reading a children's book.. as I watch the two sleeping.. I would smile looking at the two children.. they are so Beautiful.. of course they are Your Babies so it makes it more beautiful for me to see.. as I would walk out of the room.. I go into my room and sit on the chair.. with the desk.. I am looking at Your Picture.. and it is the Picture of YOU and the two Baby Teddy Bears.. the Little SON sitting on your Lap.. and the Daughter.. she is sitting on the couch next to YOU.. with a Yellow Bow on top of the Head.. My Heart moves.. LOOKING at this picture.. My Heart screams from the Inside.. and I have bought an Art.. the GIANT SKETCH BOOK.. and I would sit.. wanting to draw the Picture of YOU.. with the two Children.. am I loving YOU more.. I can't stop looking at Your Picture.. with the two children.. the Little SON and the Daughter.. why did you have to come and introduce me to the two.. when ever I look at the two.. I am only seeing YOU more but my Heart just loves YOU more.. when the two sits next with me.. and I watch them smile.. it kills me inside because they make me smile.. my heart lights UP on fire when I see the two.. I am holding the hands of the Little SON.. I try to get him to walk.. but He sits and cries instead.. trying to teach the BABY TEDDY BEAR.. the Little SON to walk.. I remember I called YOU on the Phone.. and I wanted to face time.. and I saw YOU on the Phone.. with my two hands.. I held the two hands of the Little SON.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. trying to get two legs to get UP.. and through the Face time YOU saw your SON.. and he falls and starts to cry.. and the Daughter starts to cry with her Brother.. and I had to let you go on the Face time.. and I am sitting on the chair.. looking at the Picture and thinking of these little flashbacks.. and I grab the Pencil.. which it is use to draw.. but I just could not draw.. I know that YOU be coming soon.. when YOU come.. I know the two Little Ones.. the Two Baby Teddy Bears are going to go with you.. that Means.. it is going to break my Heart.. not just going to be missing YOU but also the two Little ones you brought.. I know that I needs to do this.. so I would look at the Picture of YOU.. Looking at the Little SON sitting on top of Your lap and LOOKING at the Daughter who is sitting next to YOU.. OH MY HEART.. these precious Little Ones.. MY Heart.. what are you doing to this Heart of Mine.. why did YOU have to bring them to Me
A children's book and starts to read or they will Not go to sleep.. so I would look at the Phone.. and I would see YOU.. and the two baby Teddy Bears.. they know it is MOMMA on the Other side.. and I would give the Daughter the Phone.. and I see her looking at YOU and with a Big SMILE.. waving hand at YOU.. and I would open the Book.. and I would start to read the sentences.. paragraphs it becomes.. and I can hear YOU on the Phone telling the Two LITTLE ONES.. and the Daughter would hand to the LITTLE SON.. and Looks at YOU.. Looking at MOMMA.. and I can hear YOU on the Other side asking the two Children.. what is the story about and to explain to YOU.. as I would read and Pause.. I hear answers coming out trying to answer the questions.. and I sit still.. the two Baby Teddy Bears.. both looking at YOU through the Face TIME of the Phone.. trying to tell YOU the answers.. Fussing and bumping into each other.. of course.. after a time.. I would watch the two Letting YOU go on the Other side.. and I would look at the two Little Ones looking at me.. and I would continue to read the Children's Book.. open my mouth loud and clear.. and I would watch the two.. the eyes would get heavy and both sleeps on the Floor.. One at a time.. I would pick UP.. with the Daughter first.. putting Her into her crib and then I would go and pick UP the Little SON.. which I would stand still.. Holding Him in my arms like he is my SON.. and I would slowly put him into his crib.. and turning Off the Light.. I would leave the room.. I am sitting in my room.. just thinking about the day.. I would love to draw the sketch.. but I know that I am not that good in drawing at all.. I am truly terrible at it.. I am not sure why I grab me the Art Pencil when I know that I just can't finish it.. but deep in my heart.. I do want to draw YOU.. and looking at the Picture.. the two Baby Teddy Bears.. Not just YOU but with the two children on the Picture.. but My Heart just won't let me do it.. because I know it will shatter inside because I love YOU.. My Heart will shatter into pieces because I know that the two will be leaving soon.. of course I wish that the two Little Children can stay more longer.. but the More longer they are with me.. More I feel like it is Hurting me instead.. what if I would say to YOU.. don't let the children leave me.. I would be crazy before Your Eyes and I know that they belong.. they came with YOU and that is why I know they must go with YOU.. My Heart just can't accept that the two Baby Teddy Bears be leaving me soon.. and it is hurting me right Now because I know this.. of course they must go with YOU.. as I sit still in the silent.. I receive a Message from YOU.. and YOU have sent me something.. it is a New Picture of YOU.. and YOU are showing me.. telling me where YOU are.. and as I would look on the Phone to take a look at the New Picture of YOU.. and I know that the Children.. the two Baby Teddy Bears will love this Picture of YOU.. of their MOMMA.. which YOU are smiling in this One.. that YOU are doing so GOOD.. this is what I wanted to see.. what I wanted to hear.. and I hear the phone ringing.. and I picked UP the Phone to hear Your Voice.. and I would tell YOU.. after the face time.. I know that the children.. the two Baby TEDDY BEARS would be arguing and they would fuss at each other because they wanted to give YOU the answers.. and Yes.. I had to let YOU go to get this issue solved.. did I finish reading the children's BOOK.. while I was reading the stories to them.. I saw the eyes.. the Daughter first.. the eyes grew tired and I saw the two eyes would close and She lay on the floor sleeping.. I would keep on reading the Children's book and I would look at the eyes of the Little SON.. which he grew tired too.. both eyes started to close and He lays on the floor sleeping next to his sister.. I would keep on reading for at least 30 more minutes.. as I close the Children's Book.. I would pick UP the Daughter first and Put her in the Crib.. and I would go over to the Little SON and Pick Him up next.. Putting HIM into his crib.. and I stood watching the two sleeping.. holding the Daughter.. the BABY TEDDY BEAR in my arms.. I hear I miss MOMMA.. as I would walk out of the room where the two are sleeping.. I would be thinking of YOU and I go into my room.. sitting on the chair next to the desk.. I would LOOK at the Picture of YOU with the two Little ONES.. BABY TEDDY BEARS.. the Daughter and the Little Son.. the Little SON sitting on your Lap and the Daughter sitting next to YOU with the Little Yellow Bow on top of her Head.. I wanted to draw picture of YOU with the two children.. and I kept on looking at Your Picture.. trying to draw I just could Not.. then YOU called Me.. all I wanted to say is this.. that I miss YOU and that I love YOU too.. missing YOU so much hurts me right Now.. so Please come Home soon.. I am trying to draw Picture of YOU.. grabbing the Pencil and Looking at the sketch paper.. the Picture is in front of me as I am sitting by the desk.. as I am smiling looking at the Picture of YOU.. I just can't believe I have your Picture.. YOU are the Most Beautiful.. Just too beautiful to be true.. and the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on my Lap.. The most Beautiful Baby Boy.. I am trying to concentrate drawing.. the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on my Lap.. I see the hands trying to grab the Pencil.. losing me to Put the Pencil Down.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. this little Son.. starts to cry.. wanting to hold the Pencil.. I tell this baby Teddy Bear.. I am trying to draw a picture.. why can't You just sit on my lap and just watch me Draw.. I am looking at your Picture.. and I just want to see YOU.. the baby Teddy Bear looks at my eyes and turns to look at the direction I am looking at.. This Little Son looks at your Picture.. and hands wants to grab your Picture.. and tries to get closer to the Picture.. But.. I would pull the Baby Teddy Bear away.. and He looks at me starts to cry.. saying that is MOMMA.. and I just can't believe.. this Baby Teddy Bear knows the Picture is YOU.. knows who his Momma is.. and as I would pull away.. I want to draw.. I tell the Baby Teddy Bear.. Please.. let me draw on the sketch paper.. I hear another Crying on the back.. it is His Sister.. and they are twins.. two Baby Teddy Bears.. One.. the sister is sleeping on the Bed.. the Daughter.. and I can hear a crying and I would turn to look back.. and I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. she has woken UP from sleep.. and Looking for MOMMA.. and I turn around.. as I get up.. the Little Son.. He starts to cry as I am holding.. I turn away from the desk.. holding the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. Now I hear both crying.. Both crying for their Momma.. and as I put the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear on the Bed.. next to His sister.. both are crying as I am looking at the two Baby Teddy Bears.. I just don't know what to do.. when Both are crying together.. looking for Momma.. and it breaks my Heart because I do also Miss YOU as well.. I want to see YOU.. then I wonder how these two Baby Teddy Bears be feeling.. when they belong to YOU and being that part of family.. I am watching both crying and crying.. hands are asking to be Hold.. and I am just standing here.. ALL I wanted to do is to draw picture of YOU.. sitting by the desk.. looking at the picture of YOU.. and just to draw the picture.. to know how much I love YOU.. and I wanted to show YOU and to give it as a gift to YOU.. but it seems like it is Not working at this point.. What am I suppose to Do.. the two baby Teddy bears are crying.. they are looking for MOMMA.. am I suppose to call YOU.. because they will not stop Crying.. I can't even draw picture of YOU any More because.. they are crying.. I can't concentrate with Two babies crying.. as I would look.. I would pick up the Phone.. but when I picked UP the Phone.. it was YOU who was calling.. and I would hear your voice on the Other side.. I smile because I was about to call YOU.. and YOU have read my mind.. asking about How the two baby Teddy Bears be doing.. and YOU can hear the two crying.. the twins.. Baby Girl and baby Boy.. both crying for MOMMA.. and I would look at the two.. and I would tell the two.. It is MOMMA on the Phone.. and I see both stops crying and I would give the Phone to the Daughter first.. and I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. hands grab and pulling away from His sister.. wanting to hear the voice of their MOMMA.. and I am just.. my Heart.. My Chest.. My Heart.. How much these two are missing their MOMMA.. wanting to see.. I see both ears.. trying to listen to the Voice of their MOMMA.. and I would look at the two.. they are so Beautiful.. both.. the twins.. the Baby Teddy Bears.. both so Cute but so Beautiful.. I would turn around.. and I do remember.. I was sitting down on the chair.. by the desk.. Looking at your Picture.. I would look and say to Your Picture.. when can I see YOU.. will you let me hold YOU.. will you let me love YOU.. I know I can love you the way YOU want to be held and want to be loved.. I know that I can love you in a way you would never felt before.. I can tell YOU.. tell YOU how much I miss YOU.. How Much I love YOU.. but.. YOU have to give me the permission.. allow me to tell YOU that I love YOU.. and I would be looking at your Picture.. when will you come around so that I can see YOU.. My hand grabbing unto the Pencil.. looking at a sketch of paper.. My hand starts to trace.. using the pencil to draw.. and I am looking at your picture.. to draw you on this sketch paper.. and right when I was about to go deeper.. I hear a knock on the door.. DOK DOK DOK.. and I am wondering.. who be knocking at the front door at this time of hour.. it is getting late.. and I am thinking.. maybe I am just too tired that I am hearing things.. so I would begin to use my hand to draw.. I hear another Knocking
Their MOMMA.. what am I suppose to do then.. because I have No experiences at all.. and I see you get closer.. trying to hand me over the Little SON.. and as I would hold on with my arms.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son starts to cry.. and I see the Little SON.. arms stretching out to YOU.. because He does not want to come to me.. the Cry gets louder and louder.. and arms stretching out to YOU.. wanting to Go to YOU instead of Me.. and His cry so Loud.. hurting my ears.. and I am not sure.. It is so hard for me to control.. and I would ask YOU to come inside.. I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter starts to cry too.. both being very loud cries.. I just don't know what to do.. why are you leaving them with Me.. they are both crying loud for YOU.. asking to take them with YOU.. My Heart hurts.. it hurts because I know How it feels to be in a pain when YOU leave.. as YOU would try to give me the Other Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. She is even more worst.. YOU had to hold Her close.. and She would sleep in your arms.. Would not even come to me.. kicking and screaming when YOU try to get her close to me.. and what happens when the Other Baby Teddy Bear wakes UP and knows YOU are not in the House.. but has left her with Me.. the Other Baby Teddy Bear will find Out that YOU are gone.. but for now.. she may sleep.. if the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter did not come to me when YOU were here.. I know she is Not going to come to me when I am alone with Her.. I feel so Bad.. My Heart breaks as I would watch the Little SON.. He sees you walking.. the BABY TEDDY Bear starts to crawl after you.. I am watching.. my eyes.. I feel my tears going to pour out.. as I see you walking fast.. going to the front DOOR and the Little SON.. the Baby Teddy Bear crawls crying after you.. as I watch YOU leave the front door.. and the door closes behind.. the Little Son.. baby Teddy Bear sits and cries.. and sits by the door waiting for YOU as He keeps on crying for his MOMMA.. I am standing behind.. just wiping my tears.. It hurts.. this Pain.. it feels like a sharp pain has entered in me.. It hurts watching the Little Son.. hurting.. crying for his Momma.. and turn to look at me crying.. tears hitting the floor.. and turns to look at the door.. what do I do.. tell me.. what am I suppose to do when It hurts me just watching One breaking Heart.. what do I do.. I wanted to go.. Open that front Door and run after YOU.. grab Your Arm and pull and to let YOU see.. LOOK at the Little SON.. look at HIM crying.. why do I have to be the one to watch His tears run down like this.. WHY do you have to break my Heart when I have done nothing to YOU.. why come over and look at the Heart pieces falling apart.. WHY do I have to be the one with the Broken Heart.. it hurts me more than It hurts YOU.. as I would walk.. closer to the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son.. keeps on crying.. pointing to the Door.. wanting to go with YOU.. but.. I know that I can't take this Little ONE to YOU.. and I am just standing here.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do at this Point.. because I can't help this Little Son.. even though I want too.. but.. YOU be telling me you wanted to be time alone.. you just wanted so time off.. to refresh Your Head and that is why YOU are leaving and has made me to be the Baby sitter for the Two Baby Teddy Bears.. I know you have brought all that is needed for them.. so that part I am ready to do what I was told me to do.. but.. I just can't take the pains of the two baby Teddy Bears be crying.. Now.. I am looking at the two Baby Teddy Bears.. both sitting on the top of the Bed.. with the Phone in their Ears listening to Your Voice.. Both looks at each other and smiles knowing that They are hearing their MOMMA on the Other side.. so I am getting closer.. and I am wondering.. few days.. but when is that the few days end.. so that I can focus on drawing picture of you on the New Sketch Paper Book I just bought from an Art Shop.. I want to draw a picture of YOU and to show YOU when it is all completed.. I be drawing YOU.. for a long time I wanted to draw a picture of YOU.. I know that I am Not good in drawing.. but I do want to try so that I can tell YOU.. I can show YOU this is My Heart.. Not Just My Heart.. but it is My Love.. this is a way I want to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. but I need a time alone.. I need my own time.. if the two Baby Teddy Bears are here.. I know that I can't draw anything.. so I would get close to the Two baby Teddy Bears.. I am asking if I can have the phone Back.. so that I can talk to YOU.. but it seems like the two Baby Teddy Bears does Not want to give me the Phone.. they want to hear their Momma speak on the Other side.. I see the smiles and giggles together.. it look so beautiful.. how the two are so Beautiful when they smile.. just like their MOMMA.. YOU are the most Beautiful when YOU smile.. as I would watch the Phone being hung UP.. and the two sitting on the Bed.. looking at me.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do now.. they just looks at me.. and both starts to cry.. crying loud wanting to see their MOMMA..I am sitting by the desk.. I am looking at the shot glass.. and grabbed the Bottle of whiskey and poured into the Shot glass.. placing the whiskey down.. picked up the shot glass.. opened my mouth and take a shot.. I am trying to forget YOU.. but I just can't.. I have placed your picture on the top of the desk.. I keep on looking at this picture.. I tell myself I needs to stop.. but I feel like I needs to keep on looking.. I would look at your picture and say.. why are you doing this to me.. why do I have to keep on looking at you.. of course I have a pencil and a clean white sheet of paper.. I want to draw.. looking at your picture.. I want to draw the picture of you.. but I know that I am not that good in drawing at all.. but I can feel.. this whiskey starts to kick my head.. I feel light headed and buzzing.. I know I drank so that I can forget you.. but why is it that I am missing you more now.. I just can't take my eyes off of you.. as I am looking at your picture.. why can't your picture talk back to me.. I want to hear something from you.. but no matter how many times I am going to tell you looking at your picture.. I will not hear anything from the Other side.. but I want to hear from you.. Please.. tell me something so that I don't feel the light headed I am feeling at this point right now.. YOU know that I love you.. I can tell you many times that I love YOU.. can you tell me something.. can you hear me say the words to YOU.. I love you.. and I grab the pencil.. starts to trace and starts to draw.. of course I am looking at your picture.. as I stopped.. putting the pencil down.. I have drawn a picture of a Heart.. I know that I am missing your Heart.. and I am looking at this pieces of paper.. looking at the Heart.. this is suppose to be your Heart.. so that I can touch it.. as my hand touches the paper.. my hand touch the Heart.. can you feel my hand.. I am touching your Heart.. can you please tell me that you can feel my Hand touching your Hand.. as my eyes would look at the picture.. it is YOUR Heart I drew.. maybe you would tell me that Heart does not look like yours at all.. I told you that I am not an artist who can paint or draw pictures.. but I know that I can try to draw a Heart.. it is only Your Heart I want to draw.. I want to touch your Heart too.. How about me write my Name on this Heart.. and can I take this piece of paper and give it to YOU.. telling you that I have wrote my name so that YOU know that it is me who loves YOU and asking you to remember my Name.. so that you know that I love you.. I belong to YOU only.. so please.. tell me that I can.. as I grab the bottle of whiskey and pour into the shot Glass.. and place the bottle of whiskey on the top of the desk.. I grab the shot glass and open my mouth and take a shot.. I can feel it burning.. it feels like it wants to burn my Heart instead.. why.. I don't know.. you tell me why.. because I want to hear from you saying that I am allowed too.. as I am sitting down.. looking at the piece of paper.. looking at the Heart I drew.. I turn to look at your picture.. and I would hear a Crying.. I am wondering.. who is crying at this time of night.. is it my Heart.. is My Heart crying from the inside.. is it because of the whiskey.. the shot glass.. the shot of this whiskey.. I don't think my Heart would cry because of it.. and I would sit still.. maybe it is this Heart.. the Heart I drew.. which it is suppose to be Your Heart.. so is Your Heart crying.. and I would sit still trying to figure out why I am hearing crying.. and the Cry I am comes behind me.. and I would turn to look back.. and when I turn to look back.. I see a Teddy Bear.. the arms are stretching out.. and keeps on crying.. and I am wondering.. when did this Teddy Bear got here.. it is smaller and wearing a blue shirt.. must be.. and I would stand up from the chair.. and I hear from the Teddy Bear crying.. MOMMA.. and I stop.. I just can't.. I see tears in the eyes of this Baby Teddy Bear.. and He is crying for Momma.. and I am thinking.. why are you asking me for MOMMA.. I am trying to get over and I grab the Picture and I walk to the bed.. the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on the top of the bed.. and I would sit next to the Baby Teddy Bear and I show the picture.. and I would point.. is this Your MOMMA and the Baby Teddy Bear head goes UP and down telling me that YOU are.. I am wondering.. I am trying to get.. How come now.. and the Baby Teddy Bear wraps the arms around your Picture.. I think you must be a Son.. I am very confused.. so YOU are looking for Momma and the Baby Teddy Bear cries and cries and cries looking for YOU.. and I am sitting down.. what am I suppose to do.. and I start to feel my tears running down.. if you keep on crying.. how about me.. you are going to make me cry with you and I would grab the Picture
Oink Oink.. I am looking at the paper in front of me.. looking on the floor.. on the ground.. on the carpet floor.. few papers been rolled into balls.. I would try to write you a letter.. with the Pen.. and would make some mistakes and with the Pen.. there is NO eraser to erase.. so I would grab the Piece of paper.. when it has been made mistake while writing YOU a Letter.. I would roll into the Ball and it would Hit the carpet floor.. been struggling.. my Heart been struggling so Much.. I would look at the Cup.. pouring the Can of Beer.. and I would grab the Glass cup.. drinking the beer.. I can feel bubbly inside.. trying to erase YOU off my Mind.. but when I place a Piece of Paper in front of the desk.. I want to tell YOU something.. I want to write you something.. something that I needs to say that comes from My Heart.. that sinks in my Head.. and I can't just hold it in.. but Needs to tell YOU as I would write you this Letter.. when YOU been practicing for such a Long time writing.. and for a long time it becomes a part of YOU.. Like a lifestyle and changes into.. that is where I am at this Point when I would pull out a clean sheet of piece of Paper.. I know that the Truck is coming.. the Mail man.. with his truck.. He is coming to this Home.. to the Mail Box.. and I know that I am running out of time.. and I needs to put something.. Needs to tell YOU something on this Piece of Paper.. I received something from YOU.. an envelop.. a new Picture YOU put inside and I have Never seen this Picture before.. YOU are smiling.. Holding a Bear.. I am Not sure what kind of Bear is this.. do I call it the teddy Bear.. and My eyes.. I keep on looking at this new Picture.. YOU look so beautiful.. YOU look so Cute holding.. holding this small bear.. and it seems like YOU are trying to tell me something.. are YOU telling me that I am small like this Bear.. because I do not like that Small bear.. of course I am Not saying I am tall because I am Not.. but when I look at the new Picture of YOU.. holding that small bear.. it means that I wish that it be Me.. I want to hold the small bear.. and I want to hold YOU close in my arms too.. putting down that Small bear.. and to tell you that YOU are so Beautiful.. the Most Beautiful that I ever saw in my life.. that YOU are just too pretty.. just too beautiful.. even without holding that Small Bear.. just YOU in the Picture alone is enough to say.. YOU are so Beautiful.. there is NO reason to be holding that small bear.. and is this what I should Put.. should write.. to tell YOU on this Letter.. or should I say to YOU.. I been missing YOU so bad lately.. but this very Night.. I had to go into the kitchen and grab me a cold can of Beer.. and grabbed a glass cup.. Open the Cold Can of Beer and poured into the Glass cup and I would sit.. sit by the desk looking at the new Picture of YOU holding this Small Bear.. I would just imagine that be Me.. only if it be ME in your Arms.. I wonder how would that be.. or feel.. I wonder How would my Heart react when YOUR arms wraps around me and I turn to YOU and I am able to say and to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. would you please accept these words of Mine telling YOU as I look at your eyes and I would look at your ear to tell you this is what My Heart feels and How it is reacting because of your arms around Me.. How about me expressing.. can I too open my arms and wrap around YOU so that I can hear you to say what YOU feel.. how your Heart be acting when I am this close to YOU.. Please tell me.. and I would say.. because I know that I am distance from YOU.. I feel like this Longing keeps growing as I keep on missing YOU.. so I had to drink.. grabbing the Glass CUP.. pouring the Cold Can of Beer and I would drink it down.. as I would sit by the desk.. LOOKING at the new Picture of YOU holding this small bear.. with a big smile.. I wonder How the person.. the One who is holding that camera.. if it was a MAN behind the camera.. of course If I was the One who was behind the Camera who had to take this Picture.. My Body would freeze as I would stand still.. LOOKING through the lens of this Camera.. My Heart be frozen looking at YOU because.. In my Mind.. I will say and tell YOU.. YOU will hear me say to YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. as My Heart would be crying inside telling me.. WHY are you so Beautiful.. YOU are the most Beautiful My eyes would ever see.. and trying to focus.. taking the picture would be so hard on my part because what HAPPENS after.. what happens when YOU leave.. YOU would leave a Print in my Heart.. in my Head.. just like when I am looking at this New Picture of YOU holding this Small Bear.. it blows my mind into pieces.. I would try to breathe hard.. because YOU are so Beautiful.. leaving me puzzled.. and confused of.. my eyes would say.. Like an Angel YOU are.. like an Angel who went missing and NOW I found you here on earth.. NOW I am looking at you through this Picture.. I am still trying to write YOU something.. as my mind goes off.. and when I needs to put it on the Paper.. and I am thinking more than what I should put.. to Write to tell YOU.. and I would stay Put.. sitting.. holding this Pen.. and Looking at this Clean sheet of Piece of paper.. I would turn to LOOK at the Wall.. the Clock and I see that the Time is running Out.. the Mail Man with his Truck is going to be here soon.. But all I could find is rolls of balls of papers on the floor.. with One Piece of paper on top of the desk.. I am going Off here and there as I am thinking of YOU.. what to say.. what to put.. what to write with this Pen on this Paper.. I look at the Glass CUP.. the COLD CAN OF BEER.. half full.. so I would pour the can of beer.. the rest into the Glass CUP.. I would grab the Glass CUP and I would drink it UP.. I can feel this fuzzy feeling.. feeling a Little warm in my face.. But.. I look at the Paper that is in front of me.. I have Not written any thing yet.. what if YOU are waiting for this Letter ON the Other side.. what if I can't finish this Letter tonight and it can't reach YOU.. would you be there wondering if this Letter gets to YOU.. or you just don't care at all.. as I put my Head to look at the Piece of Clean paper.. holding this Pen I would write to tell YOU this.. I just drank this Cold can of Beer.. I bought it at this One store that is close to my House.. of course I was tempted because MY Heart.. My Head.. I would think of YOU.. few days ago the Truck.. with the MAIL MAN who drove this truck came.. and He told me he had something for Me and gave me this envelop.. and the MAIL MAN smiled as HE took off.. I opened the envelop to find a Picture.. when I saw this picture.. a new Picture of YOU.. the smile gave it all.. and I would see your Arms around this Small Bear.. I looked at it.. and I felt something in my Heart telling me.. YOU are trying to tell me something.. but I was Not sure what YOU are trying to say.. it is YOU who gave me this Picture.. so I know that YOU had to put thoughts into before YOU would send it to this House.. I went HOME.. this Picture.. YOU were sending me a Message that It really never got to me before.. and I just knew.. I have Not written YOU Letters for awhile.. I was dealing with what if YOU did Not want to receive the Letters any more.. so I would stop writing you a Letter.. I would walk alone.. LOOKING out side.. staring at the MOON as I would stop.. and I kept on missing YOU.. I wanted to say something.. wanted to tell YOU.. to write to YOU but what If you did Not want any more letters.. as I would start to think this way.. I would LOOK UP at the MOON.. started to cry.. saying.. what If YOU did not want me to write YOU Letters any more.. then what About my Heart.. what about Me.. what would happen to my Heart which it gives me this drive to tell YOU HOW much I love YOU.. and when I started to let go and stopped writing you letters.. I would walk Out to LOOK at the MOON.. I would look UP and I would start to cry looking at the MOON.. I would see the Truck passing By.. few days goes by.. before the Mail MAN with his truck comes to stop by the Mail Box.. I would be in the room.. and I would be sitting.. I would look through the window of the room.. seeing the Truck stops and It would pass by putting something in the Mail Box.. as few days would go by and I stopped writing you Letters.. it was the Night stood.. the Truck stopped.. the MAIL MAN looks at me.. asking about the Letters to give to YOU.. I told the MAIL MAN that I have stopped writing.. and that is when HE gave me this One envelope.. when I saw the New Picture.. YOU were holding a Small Bear with a Smile.. I knew in my Heart.. I needs to tell YOU something.. I needs to speak what is IN my thoughts.. what is IN my Head my Heart.. Now I am telling YOU.. that I know that I go missing.. I ache in pains when I can't tell YOU through writing YOU Letters because this is the Only way for YOU to know and understand what is going ON IN MY Heart.. the Night I saw the Mail man with his Truck.. I was Looking UP at the MOON.. asking what should I do.. am I suppose to end this way without ever knowing what is in your Heart.. and I asked the MOON to help me.. that is when I saw the Truck and the Mail Man inside giving me the envelop with Your New Picture.. as I am looking at the Glass cup.. I have NO more Cold Can of beer because I bought and started to drink.. there was a lot of cold cans of Beers inside the fringe.. this is the last one and Now.. there is NONE because I was dealing with so Much pain of missing YOU.. but as I saw this New Picture of YOU.. holding this small Bear.. I remember I send this Small bear to YOU giving it as the gift and that is when I knew your Heart.. Now I have the courage to tell you through this Letter How much I love YOU and How much I miss YOU.. but also knowing that I can continue to write and tell YOU through many more letters.. I never stopped loving YOU.. even this very Night
MAH MAH.. I walk out the room.. Pulling out the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I just can't stop.. I been thinking of YOU a lot lately.. and I needs to go see YOU.. but How.. and as I am standing out.. I would turn to the Left.. I see the Horse.. and it belongs to the Older Man who teaches me.. maybe this time.. and I would look at the Art sketch paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. YOU know that YOU may Not see me.. but I will be at the Palace.. I will only be like a Shadow.. like the wind.. YOU can't see Me.. but YOU know that I am there.. knowing because I love YOU.. and I would Fold the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU in my Back.. and I would walk.. I stop by the Horse.. and I would get back on this Black Horse.. I would hit the Horse likely and the Horse starts to RUN.. as I am riding on the Back of the Horse.. feeling the Wind in my face as the Horse keeps On running down the Road.. all I can think of is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even though I may not be close.. even though you may Not see Me.. I know that as long as I can see YOU.. just seeing YOU from a Far is all I can ask for.. even though I may Not be able to say or tell YOU what My Heart truly feels or expresses to YOU.. as Long as my eyes sees that YOU are doing good.. that is ALL I am asking for.. the Horse keeps On running down the road.. all through the Day.. I see this Horse.. this Black Horse keeps on going.. it feels Like me.. Just cannot stop but keeps On going.. as I would watch the SUN Setting down.. when I look on the side.. I see the waters.. and the Horse would run slowly as it stops.. I give this Horse.. the Black Horse some rest.. I get Off the Horse.. Now.. as I would walk close to the waters.. there are group of guys by the waters.. and I would turn to look at One of the guys.. and I would stand still.. as I would pull the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. and it is killing me inside that I can't be close to YOU.. Now.. one of the guys.. he comes closer and takes a LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and Looks at me.. and I tell Him.. Yes.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU are asking me.. I am a Low Born servant.. and I know I can't even Look at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. who am I to love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am Not suppose to ever put my eyes on YOU.. and the penalty for getting caught is Death.. even though I know that If I break this Law.. But.. if YOU take a LOOK at me.. I am already Dead.. so I have No more fear.. I have already broken this Law and just ready to Die any time SOON.. but what can I do.. if I love YOU.. is this My fault.. How is it my fault if My Heart is the One who is causing this Kind of trouble.. this Kind of problem in my life.. I am just going what My Heart truly Needs.. and the Guy looks at me.. He works at the Palace.. and He is the Palace Guard at the Door.. and I just could Not believe.. he came just for a break with Other friends who works at the Palace.. they are all guards at the door.. and I just could Not believe.. He is going to help me to take to where YOU are.. tells me Not to tell any one because.. My Heart.. WHICH only Loves YOU.. as I would watch the waters on this Night.. I just could Not sleep.. but.. for the Longest time.. it has been so long since I saw YOU.. it is a Picture of YOU when YOU are YOUNG.. Now.. the Guy who came with his friends.. one of them had an Art Sketch Picture.. but it is the recent Picture some one drew.. and the guy's friend showed me.. as I took into my hands.. YOU just blew my Mind.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have become so Beautiful.. when did YOU grew UP looking so Beautiful Like this.. and as I am looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the recent drawing of YOU.. My eyes could Not Help.. but my tears.. it just could NOT let it sit and I felt.. my tears just ran down as I am looking at the recent Picture.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. and I am wondering.. the Guy looks at me.. even his friend Loves YOU too.. I am thinking.. I know there must be More but.. it does Not matter with me.. as the Sun starts to rise.. the Guy.. he came with three friends and Got into the Horse.. and gave me this New.. the recent Picture of YOU.. and I would walk down away from the waters.. and I get ON the Back of the Black Horse.. the four of the guys starts to ride the Horses.. as I get on the Black Horse.. I would ride this Horse following the Four Horses.. and Now.. I never knew that I am able to get this Close.. I just can't believe it.. My dreams are coming true.. How could this Be.. as the Horses would run down and the towns.. the villages are passing By.. and the two Guards by the Fortress Gates.. the Four Guards show the badges and they are able to get me Inside.. the Gates Open wide.. and the Four guards riding on the Horses.. and I am behind the Four Palace Guards following in the Black Horse.. as the Horses keeps On going and running down this road.. the path.. and it leads to the palace gates.. two Guards.. Opens the front gates.. as the FOUR PALACE GUARDS shows and lets me in with them.. and Into the back gates they go.. as the Horses all slow down.. the Guy who I first talked too.. He gets out of the Horse and He points at the Chamber on TOP.. that is where YOU are.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Other Guard tells me that YOU are not there.. that the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. is at the training ground.. and HE is the One who leads.. as I get off the Black Horse.. walking across on the Other side.. and there is the Fence.. as I walk with the Other Guard.. I would stop.. from the back.. I pull out the Recent.. Art sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. as grown.. I just can't believe you have grown this Much.. so much Prettier and never imagined YOU be this Beautiful in my life.. Now the Other Guard stops and looks back.. I just can't believe.. I am going to see the Crown Princess.. do YOU not see this.. LOOK.. I am at the palace.. and going to get to see closer LOOK at the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is Like a Dream come true.. I was truly worried about.. How am I going to see YOU.. I know that I have No business at the Palace. NO guards are going to let me In but.. it is a true Miracle that I am here.. and get to meet.. the Other Guard looks and smiles.. and He turns to lead the way.. as I am following HIM.. in my hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the RECENT drawing picture of YOU.. and I see the other Guard.. He stands by the fence.. and He stops.. and I am walking.. my Heart.. It is beating so Fast.. why do I feel so excited.. why is My Heart beating.. is it beating or dancing from the Inside.. and I stop by the Fence.. and as I let down the Art Sketch Paper.. the Recent drawing picture of YOU.. I see YOU stand there.. the Other Guard points.. that is the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. who is in control in that training ground.. and I see YOU from the distance.. and there are many MEN.. the new recruits as YOU are the One over seeing and teaching them with the Stick.. and My Heart.. Are you really holding the Sword.. the way of the swordsmanship.. as YOU turn toward the Fence.. YOU see two men.. and YOU stop.. showing the form of the Arts of swordsmanship and LOOKS.. as I see YOU looking at me and the Other guard.. It just can't be.. is it really YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and of course YOU don't know who I am because it has been such a Long time I saw YOU.. and I would kneel.. two knees.. and the Other Guard kneels with me on two knees.. Head Looks on the ground.. arms forward.. and I see YOU are coming.. walking over to the Fence.. and I just can't look at YOU.. why can't I breathe.. why is it so Hard for me to breath and YOU stop by the fence.. and the Other Guard would answer YOU.. and YOU turn to LOOK at me asking me.. and I would lift UP my Head.. and I would LOOK at Your eyes.. DO YOU not remember Me.. right Now I am at the Older man's House.. he is my master my teacher at this Point.. but.. YOU don't remember Me.. and I see YOU looking and with Question.. it is me.. at the Garden.. when YOU came Long ago.. when we were younger.. and my Father who was the Head over the servants.. who served the King but was servant to the CROWN PRINCESS.. which is YOU.. and my Hand went back to Pull out the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I lifted it UP before Your eyes and I see your hands grab hold unto.. DO YOU not remember this Picture.. this Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. when we were little.. before YOU left.. I asked a Boy.. and HE had to get your Permission.. and YOU allowed that BOY to draw YOU and the Boy would give me this Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. the boy say.. I am good to have this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. this drawing picture of YOU.. by the tree.. before YOU told me that YOU could never come back to the Garden.. that WHEN I grew to be older.. for YOU to know.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU told me to bring this to YOU so that YOU will remember who I am.. and it was YOU who allowed me to have this.. to keep this.. that one day when I come to this palace.. when I bring this to show YOU who I am.. YOU will know that it was ME.. the lowly born servant at the garden who never stopped Loving YOU.. I came all the way just to tell YOU that I have grown.. and YES.. that I am going to enter the king's service and to Be a Palace Guard.. so that I can come close to YOU.. to protect YOU and to defend this nation.. I told you this when I was little.. when I was young.. I told YOU.. before YOU left for good.. I told YOU I promise I will come
MAH MAH.. Would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is when YOU were Little.. the Boy WHO gave it to ME.. who told me that I have the Permission from YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. LOOKING at the Tree.. by the Garden.. I am always thinking about the Garden because it was the first TIME.. when I saw YOU coming.. riding on the Horse.. YOU wanted to see How the Garden feels.. it was when I saw YOU there.. when I started to LOVE you at the Garden.. as I am looking at one of the new Recruit.. He looks at me and swings the WOODEN SWORD at me.. and He misses as I go back.. with the WOODEN SWORD stick I am holding.. I would swing Forward and It hits the new recruit and He falls to the Floor.. to the ground.. I am standing.. holding a stick in my hand.. Looking at the Sun rising before my eyes.. I know that I must get ready.. the Other hand pulls Out the Art Sketch paper.. it is the drawing of YOU.. I can hear my Heart beating so Fast when I look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. I am getting ready and preparing these Men.. the MEN who came to YOU.. the New recruits.. I had NO idea that YOU would put me on the front Line.. to prepare these Men.. these YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits.. WHY would you give me this Mission.. why would you give me the Permission to teach and to train these YOUNG MEN.. YOU know that I am Not that GOOD.. but Like HOW you gave me the Order and has commanded me to do so.. There are A lot of Other Generals.. the Superior before Me.. the Aged and well fought.. who are better Instructors and even YOU have the Chief Generals.. even the Great Commanders.. who has lead many victories over many wars they fought.. and I just don't understand why YOU put me in charge and gave me this KIND OF Order to do So.. I am Not even well trained.. did NOT fight many wars or has lead many soldiers to WIN many victories of Wars.. but WHY did YOU put me in Charge.. and I am looking at the Picture.. the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. as I am standing.. YOU also gave me few Men.. there are Seven of My Friends who are standing with me and with me they are standing Behind me.. I only came here.. just to be a Palace Guard.. just to guard the back door of the Palace.. Never imagined that I would come this very far.. so Close to YOU.. Only thing I ever wanted to ask of and say to YOU is how much I love YOU.. I only wanted to express deeply my Love for YOU.. never thought that I be here today.. as I am watching the Sun Rise.. before me are the tents.. and very SOON the New Recruits are going to come Out of the tents they are sleeping in and I have to begin the training for the New Big War.. as the Seven Men are behind Me.. I am looking forward.. I see the Men.. the New recruits walking Out their tents.. My tears.. two lines are falling down both eyes.. I just can't believe I have to do this.. But I am not even experienced veteran at war.. I am Not even the general.. Not even the TOP general or the Chief general.. Not even the Commander or the Great Commander.. those MEN has years of many experiences of striking and WINNING in wars.. but why did MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH choose me to do this.. there are great war veterans.. WHAT AM I suppose to teach.. what Words MUST I say.. how can I lead victories for the Next war.. and I would watch all the YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits walking Out and they all stood in the Line just waiting.. I don't know what to DO.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and I would say.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. WHY did You give me this Kind of Order.. why did YOU commanded me to train and to teach.. to instruct these YOUNG RECRUT MEN.. what if I fail trying too.. and I would put the arm down holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. the Closest Friend takes the Art Sketch paper in my hand.. and I turn my Head aside.. and I would look.. by the Fence.. I see YOU there.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. sitting on the Horse.. I see YOU with the BIG CROWN on your Head.. standing around are the COMMANDERS.. the Chief Generals.. the Great Commanders of War.. I see the TOP Generals behind YOU and YOU are looking at me.. and I see YOU pulling Out the Sword.. telling me that the training has Begun.. But.. something stops Me.. something stops me to go further.. I don't know what it is because these are YOUR new recruits.. these are Men that came here for YOU.. to Fight for the Next war.. to Fight for the Next Battle Field.. these are the MEN who are going to Die if they are NOT trained right.. who came to protect and to defend YOU.. for the Nation and for YOU to be their QUEEN.. even though YOU are the Crown Princess right Now.. what am I doing right Now.. I would fall down on both Knees.. and I put my arm up forward and I would Lower my Head before YOU.. and I see you pointing the Sword to me.. telling me to speak.. and I lift UP my Head and I look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. these are YOUNG NEW MEN.. New recruits.. they are Unexperienced and has Not trained for years.. do NOT know what it is Like to fight in the Battle fields of War.. How can YOU let me be the trainer or the Instructor.. I know that I might sound so weak.. but it is the Lives that YOU are putting Under.. they have Lives and the Lives are very special and precious.. because of my Wrong.. I don't want to see the YOUNG MEN.. the New recruits to fall by the swords because of the wrong teaching or instructing.. that is why I am begging YOU to let someone else.. like the experienced and the veterans of war.. who lead men to victories to take my Place.. and I would see YOU looking at me.. but The sword.. I see the sword YOU are holding.. YOU lifted it UP higher telling me to GO.. and my Heart.. My Heart starting to beat so fast when I see YOU believe and Your Faith.. the trust YOU have.. telling me to go On.. My Heart.. starting to beat faster when I truly understood that Because I love YOU.. One thing that makes me so different is that I love YOU.. the Love that I have for YOU will never let others to fall because I love YOU.. I love YOU more and more and never stopped Loving YOU.. and I would look at YOU.. the Seven Men behind me.. they all fall on their two knees.. Arms UP forward and Heads all Lower before YOU.. and I see YOU still holding the Sword UP High.. and I know.. it means that Is it.. so I turn my Head.. LOOKING at the YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits.. and I know that these are YOUR MEN.. these are the defenders.. who are going to Protect YOU with Me.. and Yes.. NO ONE is going to stop us from trying Our Best.. I know that if I love YOU.. I will do whatever it takes to make YOUR MEN stronger.. make them more wiser and BE ready to walk into the War.. I Hear more voices and I turn the Other way.. where YOU are at.. I see More New Young Men.. More new recruits wants to join in the Military force.. and I have never seen such a Large Number of gathered.. the Guard at the gate by the Fence Opens and More YOUNG NEW RECRUITS.. who has passed the exam all runs Into the join the Camp.. the training ground.. and they stand in the back of the Line.. and I stand there looking at these Unprepared men.. I must.. wiping my tears from my eyes.. I must help them.. and I turn to LOOK at YOU.. ARM UP and Head lowers.. Your Sword Points to Me again and I would lift up my head and I would say to YOU.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I just wanted to say Thank YOU.. If you are asking why.. I remember I was by the Fence.. DO you not remember.. I was by the Fence waiting for the Chance.. there was a Guard telling me that I could Not come inside.. I had the Letter.. and the Older MAN who was the Instructor.. who was the One to teach me.. after I lost my Father.. I have fallen into great depression.. crying IN the Night.. and Just wanted to Give UP on life.. I remember the Only HOPE was go to YOU.. I walked for many days with out FOOD or Water.. did Not see the Winter and the great blizzard came and swept me away.. at that Moment I thought I was going to die.. I only thought of YOU.. and Kept on walking through the SNOW until I just could not walk any more and fell in the snow.. I wanted to cry.. as I was laying on the snow.. all I could think is YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. just to go and to see YOU.. before I die.. at least to tell YOU how much I love YOU and I closed two eyes.. I woke UP and I only called Out to YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. wanting to get close to YOU.. I was meant to die and said.. I am going to die any ways.. better to just die in the SNOW but.. I did Not die.. after waking UP in a Home.. the Older MAN started to teach me.. gave me an instruction and started to teach me the Art of Swordsmanship.. and He final gave me a Letter.. and Placed a Stamp saying I can go to the Camp.. the Guard by the Table told me I can go inside.. Large LINE to wait.. and It took me many days waiting in the Line and when It came to Me.. I was standing by the Fence.. the Guard who was by the gates told me I can't come in.. That day was the last day and I remember I saw YOU.. YOU came.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU stood with the Generals.. the TOP.. the CHIEF and the COMMANDERS.. Looking at the New Recruits who were the YOUNG MEN at that TIME.. I remember YOU turn your Head.. and as I was turning away leaving.. I heard you which it stopped me.. MAH MAH.. YOU did Not recognize me who was at the Garden.. but.. YOU stopped me as YOU wanted to see the Letter.. My Heart.. it started to beat again.. this was the Only way.. this was the Only road and I turn around to face YOU
MAH MAH.. Me down because LOOK.. I am still alive and well.. as I saw YOU and walking along side and I stopped and it made you stop and I would say to YOU.. I love YOU MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I love you and I would walk way back in the line with Many New Young Men who were recruits.. as I am LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. I remember still.. even this very day My Heart never changed.. because I still Love YOU.. both hands holding the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. this One has never been torn.. because I kept it safe.. close to My Heart.. and I would lift UP my Head.. I am LOOKING at YOU.. as YOU are sitting on the Horse.. with the White Dress.. your Sword still pointing direct at Me.. and I would say.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I have never stopped Loving YOU because I know that STILL at this Moment.. I still Love YOU and Yes.. I will take orders.. your Commands seriously and help rebuild Your Forces.. make them into warriors who will Fight for YOU.. who will protect YOU and defend this Nation because.. the Day I was rejected was the Day I saw YOU and that DAY was when YOU let me In.. I just wanted to tell YOU.. Crown Princess.. thank YOU for giving me the Chance to be a soldier who can protect and defend YOU and this Nation.. as I grab the stick.. putting the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU on the ground.. I get UP.. and the Seven Men who are behind me.. they are all get UP.. Arms stretch forward and the Heads all lower to YOU.. I would grab the stick.. the Seven MEN stays behind.. and I would walk down by myself.. and I would stand.. as One YOUNG MEN recruit walks Out.. He has the Stick in his Hand.. and I would shout.. to see How well does this YOUNG MAN can fight.. and I would turn to LOOK at HIM.. I would remember.. when I was at the Older Man's House.. In the ROOM.. I would be sitting Alone.. Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. I would be looking at YOU through that.. I would be asking.. I would be saying.. MAH MAH.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. I am trying to leave this Place.. I am trying so hard to leave.. so that I can be with YOU.. be close to YOU.. but I feel like I can't.. looking at this Picture.. this drawing picture of YOU.. I keep on missing YOU.. I needs to be with YOU.. and I can hear the DOOR.. it opens behind me.. and the Loud thunder and it is raining Hard out side.. the Older Man.. the teacher.. grabs my Back shirt.. my both hands opens to release the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and I let it go.. I feel the Pull from the back and He yanks Me out of the room and I fall Out side.. I just can't believe I am out side sitting as I am getting hit by the rain.. it is pouring down On me because it is raining so Hard.. I stood and sitting.. crying because I am missing YOU.. I want to go where YOU are.. It is aching and Pain in me.. I want to be where YOU at.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. when can I see YOU and be close to YOU.. I needs to go to YOU.. and a stick falls to the ground next to Me.. I felt so Lonely at One Point.. at the Lowest of My Life and It was Only YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. It was Only YOU.. I cried when I saw YOU gone.. I remember watching YOU leave.. Sitting on the Horse.. I kept on calling Out to YOU.. But it was one of the Servants who took Me.. and Told me that I just could Not go.. I was reaching Out both arms.. shouting Out.. as the Horse was leaving.. in the Garden I felt so Alone.. crying in the dark.. I just could Not believe that YOU were gone.. I stood alone.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. I just could Not stop.. But kept calling Out to YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I would watch the Moon come UP before Me.. and I would shout with the Loud Voice.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am going to YOU.. very soon I will go to YOU.. when I heard the News.. and MY father died.. and came to the Garden.. I saw His body and with the servants.. We would bury my father.. I just could Not take this kind of Pain any More.. as I sat that night.. My Father was gone.. my Mother died when I was very young.. and even whom I love.. which Is you.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even YOU.. I had to watch YOU leave me.. and Now.. there was NO reason for me to be at the Garden any more.. everything was Gone.. and whoever came to the Garden.. they were all taken away from me.. when I felt the Most lonely in my life.. the Only thing that remained close to my Heart.. It was the Art sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I would unfold and I would take a Look at YOU.. talking to the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I would say.. Is it okay if I go to YOU.. what If YOU do Not want me to be near.. But there is nothing else.. there is NO ONE else I can Love.. but Only YOU I truly Love.. Please.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. would you let me get close to YOU.. I needs to tell YOU something.. packing One bag I would carry in my back.. I would look at the Garden One last time.. and I cried looking at my Father's grave and I would leave.. telling that I am Not going to ever come back.. too many people who I loved are gone before me.. My Heart is broken already.. I don't need my Hear to break again.. so I left the Garden.. wanting to start a new Life.. and I was thinking of the Palace.. Your Kingdom.. wondering if I could enter.. since I knew who YOU were.. maybe I be your servant.. I be your slave then.. so I have set my eyes on Your Kingdom.. I wanted to get close to YOU.. walking through the Day.. I would Not eat.. not much Out in the desert.. so I had to stay hungry for few days.. I would stop for rest at Night.. LOOKING at the stars in the sky.. Looking at the Moon.. and I would unfold the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would Kiss the paper and say.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I will see you soon.. since I have No other place to Go.. I have made UP my Mind.. that I will come to YOU instead.. so I would take some rest.. thinking of YOU.. missing YOU.. sitting on rocks.. watching the Night passes by.. LOOKING at the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. early in the morning.. before the Sun sets.. I would start the Walk.. I have NO other place to go.. but I only wanted to see YOU.. to tell YOU that I would do anything to be close to YOU.. I be a servant.. Your Slave if YOU want me too.. so I started this journey to go to YOU.. did Not think that the winter storm was coming.. and It got so Cold.. I saw the snow flakes falling from the sky and dropping to freezing cold.. I begin to think about Death.. Maybe I won't make it after.. I am suppose to die here instead.. But I want to tell YOU something before I die.. I have to tell YOU one more time.. and I kept on walking through the freezing cold.. I would shiver and I would cry.. is it suppose to end like this.. that I always wanted to go to the Palace.. always dreamed of being close to YOU and to Love YOU.. even though YOU do not have to tell me anything.. I am Not asking YOU to tell me.. until you know in your Heart that YOU do.. if YOU truly love Me.. I believe Dreams will come true.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. If I die right here.. will YOU know that I never stopped believed in love.. I have never stopped believe that One day.. something Can happen.. and the lack of Food and the energy and the coldness of the air.. I just could Not continue to walk further so I fell on the ground.. and ALL I can hear is.. and ALL I wanted to tell YOU is that I love YOU.. that I never gave UP on love.. I truly feel it in my heart.. don't YOU know that I loved YOU and still do.. and I saw my tears ran down as I would close both eyes.. I would hear some noises.. and my two eyes opens.. and I am laying on the ground.. I turn my head too look.. an Older man was sitting.. reading pages of something and looks at Me.. I could Not believe that I did Not die.. But.. I heard.. it is the WILL to Live.. because I know that IN my Heart.. I am truly determined to Love YOU.. My WILL to Live so that I can Love YOU is what I got.. as I would hear.. I would be calling Out to YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. PRINCESS.. CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and even when I was on His back.. I would be calling Out to YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. that I needs to go to you.. and too see YOU.. and as I would be healing from the cold.. and the Low of energy cause of the lack of food.. the Older man became my teacher.. telling me that I can't go Now.. that I needed to wait and give some time.. and He was going to teach me the Art of War.. the Art of swordsmanship.. and Saw my Heart.. my Dreams of Loving YOU.. and to be protecting the Nation YOU were going to create.. and I would sit.. and I wanted to tell Him.. why.. and next to me is the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I wanted to tell this Older man.. I should just go.. and just go to YOU before it is just too Late.. but One thing that the Master told me is this.. if I truly love YOU.. I will be a Man.. a warrior who can Protect YOU.. Like a real MAN who fights.. and Just like my Dead father.. he was like the second father I really needed.. I would turn.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. But My Heart misses YOU.. what if I can't take this missing away.. I know that I miss YOU so much right Now.. what do I do when my Heart feels like it has been cut with a knife.. and My Heart right Now feels like bleeding to death.. and I wanted to say.. I should of been left to die instead because I knew I was going to die anyways.. but I looked at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and I would take a Look and would say.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. YOU do not know
I am looking at the Piano.. as I would walk into the room.. I look at your Picture.. wishing that YOU can see what I just got.. even though YOU may be far from Me.. at least send me Your Heart.. if I can have your Heart.. I will keep Your Heart safe here with Me.. looking at the Empty Glass jar.. I would Place the Empty Glass Jar on the TOP of the Piano.. and I wish that I can Place your Heart inside this Empty Glass Jar.. even though YOU are far.. Knowing and Looking at your Heart.. I know that YOUR HEART is close with me.. I pull up the Piano Chair closer to the Piano.. and I would sit on the chair.. only if I can get You here.. will YOU ever come closer to Me.. How do I get you closer to Me.. and I would look at the key bars of the Piano.. But.. I can't play the tune.. I can't even sing with my voice.. just sitting here.. it seems like it be better if I was Not here at the first Place.. But.. I can write YOU a Letter.. I know that I can tell YOU how much I miss YOU.. I can tell YOU with the Words.. with the Lips.. with my voice.. What I truly feel deep inside my Heart.. I put all my time when I grab the Pencil.. when I grab the paper.. and I grab the piece of paper.. I know that for sure I can write and tell you.. How I feel.. How it feels to be me here on the Other side.. as long as the Letter is able to get to YOU.. will you please receive the Letters.. will you please unfold the piece of Paper which be folded when I give it to YOU.. will you please open your Heart.. hear the words of Mine that comes from my Heart.. how much I love YOU.. How much I adore YOU and admire YOU and How much I miss YOU too.. you are wondering.. what is it about the Piano.. why am I bringing UP the word Piano to YOU if I can't sing.. or can't play tunes of the keys of the piano to bring Music alive.. why am I telling YOU or sharing you about the Piano.. because I want YOU to know.. I want to Place Your Heart.. I want to place your Heart on this Empty Glass Jar.. which is on top of the Piano.. so that when I look at Your Heart.. I can learn How to play the Piano.. it make take some time for me to Know How to Play.. but when I look at your Heart.. when I look at your Heart inside the empty glass jar.. I would look at your Heart.. it may inspire me to say I love you in a way YOU never felt before.. I would think of many different ways to tell YOU.. that I love YOU and that I want to say to Your Heart first.. I would like to tell Your Heart first so that YOU can truly trust me with Your Precious Heart.. without any trust.. there is NO way I can love YOU where YOU are able to love me back One day.. that is why I need Your Heart first with Me.. I remember when I was Young.. my Mother wanted me to Learn something new.. and bought a Piano for Me.. I wanted to learn something New.. wanted to tell a story through but when my Mother bought the Piano.. it was just too complicated for me to learn.. I would watch the Teacher come.. and she would play on the Piano.. I wish that I learned at that time because Now.. when I look at you.. I would LOOK at your Picture.. and I would say WOW.. I would say YOU are so Beautiful.. I would stand by the Piano and say.. YOU are as beautiful like the Piano because Now.. I want to play and make a Music for YOU.. I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I want to tell YOU MORE.. I want to step Out of the comfort zone and tell YOU what YOU means to me.. when ever I look at you.. through the Picture.. I would regret when I look at the Piano sitting in the Room.. because.. Now I want to play and make music so that I can tell YOU.. even though I may Not be able to sing YOU a SONG.. I would bring a recorder.. and would record my voice.. as my fingers would press on the key bars of the Piano.. I can at least speak to the recorder.. but before I would play on the Piano making Music to come alive.. I would be sitting in my bed room.. taking Out the Piece of paper.. I would write YOU a Letter first.. telling YOU my Heart.. speaking from my Heart.. and writing that comes from My Heart to let YOU know.. the Letter is Not the Only way I can tell YOU my Heart.. I would sit on the Piano Chair.. regretting because I did Not learn at that time.. I had the chance to learn when I was young.. but I only watched the teacher play.. looking at her back as she played and making Music.. pressing the Key bars.. to the sound of my ears it tingled because she Played so well.. if I only learned from that teacher.. only if I took the time to be more serious about learning the keys.. composing and writing the music Notes.. the keys.. I wonder what could of happened Now.. if I learned at that time.. which My Mother would say.. It be wise to learn this kind of instrument because when it is gone.. YOU will regret it when TIME passes by.. I would stand by the Piano.. I would sit on the Piano Chair.. looking at the key bars.. pressing the key bars.. only sounds but weird sounds will hit.. and I feel so terrible Not because I wish that I learned.. so that I can play for YOU.. so that I can tell YOU.. there is Much more ways to Tell YOU how much I love YOU.. I would even take the Piano out side.. even looking at the MOON in the Night.. when I miss YOU.. when I know that YOU are so Far away and I keep on missing YOU.. at least.. with tears in my eyes of Not able to hold YOU.. unable to be close to YOU and It hurts some nights.. I can play the Piano in the Night.. telling YOU.. looking UP at the MOON.. as my fingers hits the Key bars bringing music.. I would be pulling Out the Letter that is written for YOU and tell YOU a story of How much I love YOU.. if the neighbors would come out telling me about the Noises.. I would turn to that person and say.. DID YOU ever miss someone.. when it hurts.. it just hurts so much when YOU start missing.. I needs to say.. I needs to tell YOU this Heart of Mine.. there are times that it feels so painful.. it hurts.. I see tear drops out of my eyes.. so to take this anger out of My Heart for Missing YOU.. I needs to play YOU a SONG.. this Piano is my friend.. helps me to express what I feel when I am dealing with so Much sorrow in me.. that I love YOU but I miss YOU more.. why.. why do you keep on making me feel this way.. when YOU are so far off.. what am I suppose to do when I miss YOU.. and only thing that I can do is taking out the Picture.. the only thing I can do is pull the Picture out of my pocket.. and LOOK at YOU.. do YOU know How it feels when YOU just can't do nothing.. but only thing I can do is look at you in this Picture.. but I needs to tell YOU that I needs to be with YOU.. I needs to get this Off my Chest.. Off my Heart that I needs to be with YOU.. and it hurts me so much because I am dying right Now without YOU in my life.. and to keep my Anger and this pain.. this suffering away.. if I look at the Piano.. and I am able to pull the Piano chair closer.. and able to play the tunes of the Piano pressing on the key bars.. I know that I can tell YOU what I have written.. pressing the recorder.. as I am in the ROOM.. I would open up my Heart and say.. I miss YOU.. I am not sure why I am missing YOU so much right Now.. and I be asking.. do YOU ever feel the same as I do.. I don't want to hear the answer that is going to KILL me up inside but to ask YOU.. DO YOU miss me the way I do.. I have brought the Piano Out side.. the neighbors are telling me to be quiet and they needs to sleep.. but when I am sitting Out side.. with the Piano and the Chair.. I am able to look UP at the MOON and let the Moon hear my Voice.. asking the MOON.. do YOU hear me tonight.. even though I have the Recorder recording my Voice what I AM saying as the Letter is in front so that I can read it out Loud.. with tears of sorrow.. with My Heart be hurting.. I am missing YOU.. I am missing YOU so much right Now that I need YOU here.. can YOU Hear me.. I am out side.. can YOU hear the Piano Playing.. it is Me who is playing this Piano so that YOU can hear Me.. so that YOU know what I am doing right Now.. I want YOU to hear me.. that is why I have decided to buy another Piano.. a smaller where I can take it out side so that YOU can hear the key bars.. when you hear the sound of the Music coming out of the Piano.. YOU know that It is me.. which I am telling YOU.. I am hurting right Now.. I miss YOU right Now.. where are YOU so that I can tell YOU my Heart.. Please come Out.. come Out and hear this Piano playing.. making the Music to come alive.. only if YOU knew this Heart of Mine.. every time I am sad.. every time I feel this Pain.. every time I want to cry.. when I be missing YOU.. I will be playing the Piano out side.. where if YOU are able to see the MOON on the Other side.. YOU can hear me.. that I am crying right Now.. I am missing YOU right Now.. so you know that it is me on the Other side looking for YOU.. I am missing YOU.. I am missing YOU because YOU are so far away.. where are YOU.. Please tell me so that I know that How you be doing.. tell me so that I can go to YOU like the wind.. as I am standing.. I am looking at the Piano in the room.. I have the letter in my hand and On the Other hand I have your Picture.. thinking of YOU.. and just loving YOU even though I am not sure if I would ever meet YOU.. will I ever see YOU.. can YOU Please tell me that I can see YOU soon.. or do YOU want me to pull the Piano.. the smaller Piano and walk out side.. do YOU want to hear me playing.. when I play on this Piano.. just please remember I am wailing and I am crying on the Other side.. I am in the Room.. Looking out the window.. I see the rain showering down.. I would like to walk in the rain.. but it be nice If I take this Piano with Me.. I have written YOU another Letter.. I wonder if YOU can Hear Me Now.. I know that just standing Out alone.. and Turning to LOOK up.. LOOKING at the Moon and just speaking to the MOON.. that Moon does Not Hear Me
MAH MAH.. Will let YOU know about this journey How I came to be.. YOU know that I love YOU right.. and I would start to write YOU a Letter.. Like a Diary on paper.. and started to share.. putting into a BOX that the Older MAN gave me.. Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of You.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and every night.. I would go Out.. LOOKING at the MOON.. and I would pull out and unfold the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU and I would look at YOU.. I would walk into this One room that was given to me to sleep.. and I would write YOU.. each Night I would write as I would put this Letter into the Box.. knowing that One day.. some day SOON I will see YOU and I am going to give you the Box.. with the FULL of letters.. telling YOU what I been through those days when I felt alone.. when I felt very lonely and just kept on Missing YOU.. I would cry some nights.. that I told myself.. the main reason WHY I left the garden in the first Place is so that I can go to YOU.. and show YOU that I have come long ways just to be close to YOU.. but Now.. I feel like I am stuck here.. what am I suppose to do when I want to go see YOU.. and I would bump heads with the older man who told me to be patient.. to wait.. to wait until.. but I just wanted to go to see YOU.. How Long must I wait.. what if.. I would go out side into the Night.. and Unfold the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU and say.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. How long must I stay here.. I don't want to stay here for long because I want to go see YOU.. but I can't let go of my Dreams.. I have made a promise that I wanted to be a real MAN for YOU.. a WARRIOR and a Man who holds the sword so that I can fight to Protect Your Nation.. I want to also be Your Fighter who will never backs UP any fights that presses On.. but I am still having this Heart of Mine.. I want to see YOU.. see YOU how much YOU have grown.. I want to tell YOU.. for a Long time.. How I been loving YOU since.. and still I just can't let go of Loving YOU.. what do I do WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. can YOU please tell me what I must do.. because even for loving YOU seems like a fight for my Life.. tell me which way I must turn.. so that I can go.. help me to know.. and I would stand alone.. looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I would hear foot steps and goes back into.. when I turn back to Look.. I know that It was the older man.. the Teacher.. the Master who was there.. knowing How much I love YOU.. He told me that I have just too of a BIG dream.. and I told him.. I only live Once and I can only love Once too.. so I am going to love as Much as I can if it means One shot.. it is to Love my crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. as I would take a look.. and I would think about the Box.. and Putting One letter after another into the Box and it would be full of letters I would write to YOU.. telling YOU my Heart.. how each day counted and meant for something because I wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to be with YOU.. close to YOU to tell YOU.. I have this One Box.. can I show you this One Box and If you open this One Box.. it be many letters.. I was aching.. in pains I would tell YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. How much I missed YOU.. and what it felt like because I could not go to YOU Yet.. how delaying and spending more time with this teacher.. How I just did Not want to stay long because it seemed like He wanted me to stay there for a Long time instead.. But finally.. the day comes WHEN HE gives me a paper.. and HE puts HIs name and says that if I can take this Letter.. I am able to go into the opening of the Palace.. I waited for a Long time.. I waited for more than eight years.. that much time has passed by since.. and Now.. the paper is in my hands and I am allowed to go and be a part.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I always wanted to be a part of Your Dreams.. to be a Part of Your Nation which YOU are building.. and to go see YOU.. and a Friend.. close friend of Mine also is coming with Me.. to tell you that I love YOU and that I have never forgotten to tell YOU still I love YOU..I am Looking Up at the Moon.. the Seven Men are behind Me on Watch Guard.. the New Recruits are in the tents and they are all sleeping.. I would unroll the Paper.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. my hand runs over.. Looking at How Beautiful YOU are.. I have Never seen such a Great Beauty.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am getting the New Recruits.. the New Young Men.. So many people are waiting.. the Fences are blocking More New Recruits.. and I am Not sure where all these YOUNG MEN came from.. but.. Many wants to Join this Military Arts.. wants to join the Circle.. But it is YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. these are YOUR YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits who are.. and as I am Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I only saw you this Morning.. watching More YOUNG MEN.. the New RECRUITS.. By the Fences.. trying to get in.. but the Fences would Not let them Pass through.. as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. the training will start when the early Morning.. when the Sun comes UP.. I am going to prepare these YOUNG NEW RECRUITS.. they are going to come to this training Ground.. the Ones who passed the examinations and now.. ready to pick UP the WOODEN SWORD STICKS.. and I would be turning Back.. Looking at the Seven Men.. the friends of Mine.. and they all look at me with a SMILE.. and I turn to LOOK UP.. looking at the MOON.. Just thinking of YOU.. HOW far I came.. and How it is because I love YOU.. I never stopped Loving YOU and that is the Driving force behind of Never giving UP Hope.. it is because I love YOU.. I wish that WANGSEJABI MAH MAH knows this Heart of Mine.. that I would see.. A Messenger comes.. I hear the Horse running.. and the Horse stops.. the Messenger gets Down from the Horse and LOOKS at me and the Seven Men.. He shows me a Scroll.. and the Enemies are going to Come Back again.. and they want to fight again for this War.. it is Not Finished Yet.. and the Messenger tells me.. get the YOUNG MEN RECRUITS also ready for the war.. I watch the Messenger gets ON the Horse and He leaves out of sight.. as I am thinking about Another War.. I am Not sure if I will make this One alive.. But.. For YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. we Must Win for YOU.. so that YOU WILL BE our QUEEN.. and to make this Nation stronger and the People.. the New Recruits stronger to protect YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. DO YOU remember.. When I first came.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture.. as I am speaking looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture.. drawing picture of YOU.. and I would say to your Drawing Picture.. DO YOU NOT remember when I first came to the Training Ground.. I wanted to come.. I wanted to be the part of the Military Arts.. but My Heart.. I always believed that I will meet YOU one day SOON.. that I get to show YOU my Face.. I get to draw Near.. to get closer to YOU.. I remember it was in a Night like this.. and as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. I would go back to the Good Ole Days.. I am sitting in the ROOM.. with the Closet Friend.. I am looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. and I would smile.. I will see YOU soon.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please be Patient and wait.. I know that I be meeting you so SOON.. I lost my Father.. but there was a Older MAN who became Like a Father.. taught me the Arts of Swordsmanship.. and has told me.. it is TIME for me to enter the training Camp.. the Training Ground.. and Gave me a Letter.. with the Stamp.. I would be looking at the Letter.. and His Mark of stamp.. on the Other Hand is the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I can't believe this Teacher gave me this Stamp Letter.. which Allows me to go direct into the Training Ground.. and I know.. the Next day.. Many are going to enter the training Ground.. or the Camp which YOU MUST pass in the Camp to go into the Ground.. but This Letter.. with the Stamp.. for Many Years.. I have been waiting for this day to Come.. for Many Years.. I would be coming Out side.. and I would LOOK UP to the MOON.. and I would ask.. I will be there very SOON.. I know that the distance between YOU and I seems a LONG WAY.. but I believe.. I know.. why.. because I know my Heart.. My Heart which Loves YOU.. I have Never stopped thinking of YOU.. I have never stopped Loving YOU.. YOU may Not know It.. when YOU LOOK at the distance between YOU and the MOON.. it is very Far to touch that MOON.. but I know.. Because I love YOU.. it does Not seems so Far any more.. as Long as I believe and I know.. I will be seeing YOU SOON.. I will be meeting YOU so SOON.. and I would look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. the Closest friend would look at me.. but I never get tired of LOOKING at YOU.. even though the Drawing was when YOU were much more Younger Years.. I do remember that with out YOU.. I know that I can't dream of coming this Close.. dreaming of getting close to YOU but I never stopped dreaming of Us.. of We.. that One Day.. I will see you and meet YOU.. I be close to YOU that I am able to speak and tell YOU.. I love YOU.. as the Next Day Comes.. me and the Closest Friend are standing in the Line.. the Line is so Long.. too many Young Men.. waiting in the Line to either go into the Camp or to the Ground.. and My Heart is beating.. It is beating so fast because I know that I am getting Close to YOU.. I see about one Hundred Young men standing.. waiting for their Time to enter.. I am so excited.. but also.. My Heart keeps on beating just too Fast
Oink Oink.. I walk into the rest room.. and I look at myself in the Mirror.. thinking of YOU and I would say.. Some day soon.. One day Soon I will see YOU.. I believe that I will meet YOU soon.. of course I am Not sure when it be that time.. but.. I know that It starts with preparing myself to meet YOU.. so I would look at myself.. looking at the Mirror.. how do I want to see YOU.. when YOU take a Look at me.. what would your reaction be when I meet YOU eye to eye.. and that is when I would say to YOU.. I would start by sitting by the desk.. I would look at your Picture.. of course YOU are so Beautiful.. of course YOU are so Lovely to Me.. but I would flip it by when YOU take a Look at me.. How would you feel about Me.. I don't want to meet YOU and YOU say.. is it really YOU looking like this.. but YOU would say.. this is It.. as I sit by the desk.. and grabbing YOUR picture.. I would look at YOU in this Picture.. I want to make YOU smile.. I want YOU to fall in love with Me.. I want YOU to say to me.. can I give YOU my Heart.. and I tell YOU.. Please.. let me have this Heart.. as long as this Heart is Yours and belongs to YOU.. Let me please have It.. because I will Love YOU.. I will love your Heart for ever.. as I look at the Floor.. two Arms.. and I would start to do some Push Ups.. counting down the Numbers.. that I want to show you that I have me some Hard Rocks.. I want to show YOU that I am a real Man.. Not a MACHO man.. but a MAN who understands I must be Fit.. I must show YOU that I am strong and can handle what a MAN can do.. and How I am able to protect YOU and to show YOU that I can love you too.. and the Next.. after finishing the Push Ups.. I would turn.. and do some Sit Ups.. as I would do some of the counting.. feeling the Pain and the ache that comes.. I am thinking of the day when I see YOU.. the Day I meet YOU.. to show YOU for a Long time.. I been preparing for YOU to be with Me.. so that I can take YOU IN my arms.. and I can hold YOU close.. and YOU can feel.. NOT the Rocks but my Heart which I wanted to show YOU.. after I do the Sit Ups.. I would sit back by the desk.. grabbing Your Picture and looking at YOU.. thinking of the day.. the day I would meet YOU.. and In the room I sit alone.. I would turn too look at the corner of the Room.. close to the closet.. I look at the Bag.. the Bag which I been carrying on the shoulder.. as I would think back.. and I turn to Look at your Picture which is on top of the desk.. I am thinking back.. and I am thinking of YOU.. just preparing everything Now so when the day Comes for Me to be with YOU.. YOU will know that it is Me.. when YOU see me.. and YOU look at me.. since YOU are already going to know.. even from the far I walk.. even from the far distance YOU see me.. YOU can say that it is Me.. the One who loves YOU.. the One who has been waiting for YOU.. who has been longing for YOU.. Missing YOU and who has been calling Out your name.. and I would look back.. I am carrying the Bag on the shoulder.. looking at the Rising of the Sun.. and walking into the range.. and I would see men on the driver's range.. hitting the Ball.. and I would stand.. I am thinking that One day I am going to show YOU.. the Years of putting into the Work.. the years of practices and the Years when YOU come to me.. some thing is going to happen.. I would un zip the Bag.. and I see the Picture.. I would put your Picture inside this Golf Bag.. every where I go I take it with Me just in case I miss YOU and I need to see YOU.. and whenever I un zip the Bag.. there is the Picture inside which was in the ROOM.. laying on top of the desk.. thinking of YOU.. missing YOU and wanting to tell YOU that I am here.. that I love YOU.. I would take Your Picture out from the Golf Bag that was inside.. and I would look at the Picture of YOU.. telling YOU.. even though I may not see your Presence.. know that I have Your Picture with Me.. that whenever I see this Picture.. the Picture of YOU brings a smile.. helps me to think of the reason of why I am doing.. that I know I am preparing.. everything in the works so that the Day I see YOU I can show you How reals I am.. as A MAN speaks.. the Word and the decision he makes.. it is NOT the empty Words or empty Heart but I am telling you as It is so that when I see YOU.. YOU would say.. what Makes me so Different is because I do not take the Words lightly but I am reals when It comes of Loving you.. when it comes with My Emotions.. when It comes of my thoughts of YOU and wanting to show YOU so much more.. show you that a MAN must live and dream very Big.. and to share that dreams with YOU.. so that when YOU see me.. YOUR HEART.. that I know by that time.. YOU would say to me.. YOU give me Your Heart.. that I am able to have this Heart.. YOUR Heart so that I can start loving YOU then.. and telling you How much I love YOU.. I would look.. Men walks on Left side.. even to the right side of Me.. I can hear hitting.. balls are flying into the air.. as I stand alone.. looking at YOU.. through this Picture I keep on looking at YOU.. I would put your Picture on the side pocket of the Golf bag.. and I would Look down.. looking at the Clubs.. looking at the drivers.. and I would pull out the 7 iron club.. and I turn to face the Sun.. looking at the numbers out on the field.. as I would stretch and do a little warm Up.. I am thinking of YOU.. what If you came Now.. It be at the bad timing.. because I am Not hitting the balls well at this Point.. that is why it is good that YOU are giving me some time to Practice.. I need so much practice.. I see Men hitting so well.. Balls flies so High and Over.. and I would look at the Ones who are so Good.. who hits so well.. that I would say.. I wish that I can hit the balls like that Man over there.. so that it be YOU Coming sooner.. so that I can show YOU when YOU come out here to the range.. when I hit the Ball.. YOU would smile looking at HOW well I hit the balls too.. of course.. I would put the tee down.. Putting the Ball on top of the tee.. I stand on the right side.. I would practice first before Hitting the Ball on the tee.. But.. something stops Me.. that My Heart misses YOU already.. I just finished warming UP.. and doing the stretches.. why do I stop.. I know that I must Hit this Ball.. I turn to look at the Bag behind Me.. and I know.. it must be that I be missing YOU.. missing YOU so Much.. I can hear.. I can feel my Heart crying inside that I must go to the side of the pocket of this Golf Bag to look at the Picture.. why Now.. I just saw the Picture.. it has not been even ten minutes yet and already I am missing YOU.. what happens when YOU be here and you stand next or can be behind Me.. will I do the same.. telling myself that I am missing YOU.. that I needs to look back to look at YOU.. as My hand reaches for the Pocket on the side which is the lower part of the Golf Bag.. I grab the Picture.. My Heart is jumping inside.. I feel like I needs to jump with the Heart who is jumping inside of Me.. as I look at the Picture.. I would say.. YOU are killing me right Now.. I came here to practice.. to Hit some balls.. I just pulled out the 7 iron club and already finished the stretches and warm up.. it is time for me to hit the Ball.. but.. it is YOU who stopped Me.. I must continue to practice but why are you stopping me of keep on going.. I saw this Picture already.. before I left the House.. I saw the picture.. in the car before I drove.. I saw your Picture.. I continued to take a LOOK at your Picture.. but why can't I let it go.. I needs to let it go.. I put the Picture on the side pocket.. and I turn to face the front.. grabbing the 7 iron club in my hands.. I would look at the Ball on the tee.. and my arms swings back and I would swing forward hitting the ground.. practicing before I hit the Ball on the Tee.. I can't breathe.. My Heart.. it is hurting Me.. because I can't breathe.. It is your Picture.. it must be YOU getting to My Head.. going into my Heart.. I can't breathe but Hard to breathe right now.. hands holding the 7 iron club.. getting close to the ball on top of the tee.. swing Back and swing forward and It hits the Ball.. I see the ball not going too far.. but It was hit by the 7 iron club.. I can hear the Balls making the Sound as Other Men hitting their balls.. sending it very Far Off.. why can't I hit the ball hard.. why can't I hit where the ball can make a sound and see It goes very far.. I turn to look at the Bag.. I want to show YOU.. I want to impress YOU.. I want to tell YOU that I can be good too that when I meet YOU.. I be ready by then where I don't feel like a Loser to YOU but YOU would smile and say.. I am the Winner for YOU.. as I Look UP at the SUN.. I know that This is the Only beginning stage of the step I am taking.. to unify something to make it greater but to also show YOU.. for YOU to be proud to Have Me as the Man.. the One who can Love YOU more.. and to Love you More stronger.. and stronger.. Love you More and More only if YOU can see.. as I am sitting on the Desk.. I would smile thinking of the range.. I would smile thinking of taking the Bag with me.. that I can show YOU much More later On.. that I can tell YOU the days I had to practice.. days of failure but the days which those lead into the victories.. and I am looking at the Picture that is On top of the Desk.. picking it UP.. grabbing.. Looking at YOU.. and telling YOU.. just wait and see.. that one day soon.. that some day soon.. YOU will see and YOU will see me soon.. that I am preparing each day to count so that the days be shorter as I would be getting closer to go to YOU.. I am dreaming.. just dreaming of the day I can see YOU.. I can hold.. my hands would hold your Hands.. and I would pull you closer.. my arms unfold to wrap you in my arms and I can say to YOU.. I missed YOU for a long time.. I been missing YOU then.. I been missing YOU because of this Longing I had for YOU
I am missing you so much right Now.. I went to the table.. I saw the Empty Chair.. still wondering if YOU are coming Home.. but as YOU can see I don't know why YOU are Not still here.. Looking at the Plate.. the Food I made for YOU.. which you did Not come home yet.. and staring at the Chair.. the Chair you would sit.. I would watch YOU across the table when we eat.. many times I would watch YOU smile and then YOU would laugh.. I do really miss those days.. even when YOU came home.. Long day of work.. sometimes when It rain Out side.. and I would hear the DOOR open.. I would walk Out of the kitchen.. preparing and making the Food.. putting the Plate on the table.. just waiting for YOU to come Home.. the smile.. and I would watch YOU sit.. sit on that chair.. as I would just watch YOU eat while I am sitting on my side of the chair.. How come this had to happen.. why are you NOT coming home yet.. I received a message.. also YOU send me a Picture.. a recent picture of YOU.. I would see you sitting On a chair.. Holding a Giant Teddy Bear.. and with a Bow on the top of your Head.. I am Not sure where the location or the Place you were at.. but YOU send me a Message with a Picture telling me How you are doing.. and of course.. I would smile looking at this recent picture of YOU and I would ask YOU.. where are YOU.. Please tell me.. if YOU are close by in the area.. can I go to YOU.. and I would be waiting for the Message but a Long pause.. YOU would text message me saying.. YOU are Not in the area and that YOU are far off.. at Least YOU are starting to share and telling me how YOU are doing.. but.. I am still waiting for YOU.. all I can think of is YOU coming Home.. when I would pass by the diner room.. I would look at the table.. and I would LOOK at your chair.. the empty chair that has been sitting there waiting for YOU for a long time Now.. and It is asking Me.. when Are you coming HOME.. when are YOU going to sit on this EMPTY CHAIR.. I would tell the chair.. I am Not sure when because YOU never tell me when YOU are coming Home.. all I can think of is YOU.. just missing YOU every Night.. every Night feels like I am going to die here alone.. without YOU.. I feel like this Chair.. Like this Empty chair.. just sitting here and just waiting for YOU.. and ALL I do is look at the New recent picture YOU gave me.. I would look on the Phone.. and in the front of the phone your Picture.. the recent picture.. the ONE you are sitting on the Chair.. with the Big bow on top of your Head.. arms wrap around the Giant Teddy Bear.. and I want to cry.. because NOW.. I wish that I could be that Giant Teddy Bear.. WHY does that GIANT TEDDY BEAR seems so Happy.. of course it is because YOUR Arms.. How about my arms.. how about ME.. I want to be held by YOU.. feel the JOY and LOVE that Only can comes from YOU.. Only YOU can bring that Big smile ON my face.. NO One else can make me more happier than YOU can.. as I am standing.. I am in the kitchen.. just thinking about.. as I am looking at the Plate.. I made this Food last night for YOU.. I would take a Picture of the Plate with the FOOD that was made and I would send it to YOU.. telling YOU.. it is waiting for YOU.. and I would look at your Chair.. who is also waiting for YOU TO sit on.. and I would sent the Picture of Your Chair and the Plate.. NOW.. I am in the kitchen.. I know that YOU did not come home because I see the FOOD still on the Plate.. as I am putting the FOOD on the trash.. and I would start to wash the dishes with water.. knife and fork.. cups.. and Now my tears.. I can't stop the tears falling from my eyes because it can get this hard on me some times.. I am asking YOU.. but YOU never response.. YOU never tell me that why YOU are not coming Home.. after washing the Plates and the cups.. the knives and forks.. I would use the towel to wipe it dry and Put on the Counter where I would put all these things there.. of course.. I feel so sad.. and many times broken hearted when I would walk Out of the room.. and I stand to see.. going to the diner room.. hoping that YOU came.. hoping that I would see you sit on your Chair.. hoping to see YOU eating and finishing the Food on the plate.. to see YOU turn Your Head to look at me and smile and telling me HOW finally YOU came HOME to me.. when I would walk out of the room and I stand still.. as I look toward the Diner room and I see it be empty.. looking at your Chair.. the empty chair.. and LOOKING at the Plate.. I would see the FOOD still here.. I turn to look towards the door.. I find NO shoes of yours.. my Heart.. it feels like YOU have thrown a hard ball.. a rock and Hit me on the stomach.. I can feel something sharp because my expectation of YOU.. if YOU came HOME.. it hurts to watch.. it hurts to stand here looking at the table.. LOOKING at your Chair.. and I would just want to fall down.. but I just look.. knowing that YOU did not come.. and I would wonder.. I send you the picture.. I took the picture of the plate.. and the FOOD in the plate for YOU to see what I have cooked and made you for this very night.. I can't believe that YOU still do Not want to show UP at all.. How much do I must miss YOU.. what am I suppose to do for YOU to know how much I love YOU and how I am still sorry of what I have done.. I know that I have made just too many bad mistakes.. and yes.. it is all my fault.. but just give me this One more chance.. I think that My Heart is burning.. and it is going to be burned because My Heart just can't stop loving YOU.. every Night.. after I would prepare.. looking through what I should cook or make for YOU.. it takes time for me to Know.. looking through many chef videos.. trying to do something different so that YOU would come Home.. I think I watched over 100 videos of cooking chef.. trying to cook something for YOU.. but.. I feel like how much more can I do.. I look at your chair.. I look at this empty Chair.. should I put your chair in my room instead.. because it drives me crazy when It sits here all alone.. this Empty chair is missing YOU because I know that IN my Heart.. I am the One who misses YOU.. I know that I can think like this empty chair because when I would watch YOU sit.. I was the Most happiest person in the world.. because I was able to express and show YOU something that I loved the Most.. to share and to tell YOU.. to make and create and to cater something that comes beneath my Heart.. I wanted to show YOU that I love YOU.. so I do remember going into the Kitchen classes.. I wanted to be the Best Chef.. just for YOU.. that is what counts.. that is what should counts.. NO ONE should care because as long as I be able to give you something that CAN Only comes from the depth of my Heart.. I wanted to impress you by showing YOU.. I am the Most happiest when I can give you this FOOD.. would you please take a taste.. would you please come and sit at this table and let the Plate I give YOU.. to fill your stomach because each time YOU eat.. it makes me full.. it makes me smile inside because I put all my energy and efforts into so that when it gets to YOU.. MY words would not be enough but the action of giving you this Plate.. this food on the Plate.. I put everything on the table so that when YOU COME to eat.. I can turn the other way and cry with a joy.. NOT sadness anymore.. I started to take classes.. getting new ideas to put food on the Plate and I would start to make it at Home.. I would look at your Empty Chair.. my Heart keeps breaking when I would pass by.. Looking at your chair.. which is an empty chair.. I would stand there.. WHY can't you be here.. why must YOU had to go.. why leave me here with this Chair.. why couldn't you take this chair with YOU.. or at least you could of helped me by removing two eyes.. if I be blinded.. I know with my eyes be missing.. I won't see this Chair.. this empty chair.. I would walk by.. I can feel something sharp in my chest.. just longing for YOU.. but being very busy taking lessons with the top chef.. what I learned and what I cooked in the class.. I would tell the TOP CHEF about YOU.. how much I missed YOU and wanted to create and make.. cook something for YOU every night and He started to show ME these Menus of and I started to learn how to cook as the TOP CHEF helped me to cook.. giving me the Notes and directions with the ingredients to make for that Night.. I would thank because.. I know that One day.. I believe One Night.. Some day YOU are going to be hungry to eat.. and I wanted to prepare for YOU just in case you wanted to stop by.. just for One bite is all it takes and I got so busy at home.. in the kitchen spending hours cooking and making the Dish for YOU.. as I would put One Plate for that One Night with the FOOD I learned from the TOP CHEF.. I put on Your Side of the Table with Your EMPTY chair.. I would go to my side sitting on the chair.. I would eat first.. I would look at across.. LOOKING at your Side.. I am wiping my tears of sorrow.. I wanted to share this with YOU tonight but YOU did Not show Up yet.. I wish that YOU come Home this very night.. It is going to be waiting for YOU all through the Night.. after I am finished eating.. I would get UP.. I would walk to your side of the table.. Looking at your chair.. the Empty chair.. I would lower to take the picture with the Phone.. the Plate with the Food I made for YOU and I would turn to LOOK at your Chair.. the Empty Chair and send it to YOU.. and I would write.. YOUR Chair misses YOU tonight.. I miss YOU tonight.. here is what I made while learning from the TOP CHEF at the kitchen class and I would stand UP.. Looking at your Chair.. LOOKING at the empty chair and I would turn to LOOK at my room and I would walk in closing the DOOR behind me.. As I am in the Kitchen.. just thinking about the many weeks gone by
Making all these dishes I made on the Plate for YOU.. ONLY is YOU.. for YOU to come Home.. and for YOU to sit on this Empty Chair.. this Chair misses you so Much.. I feel like this Chair.. when I pass by Your Chair.. and I stop too look at Your Chair.. I can feel and relate the Pain of missing YOU.. this Pain of ache and longing that It just don't go away because of missing YOU.. and WHEN My hand touches your Chair.. I feel something.. a sharp pain because I feel like this chair.. LIKE an Empty chair.. without YOU.. I feel like I can't go on.. I need you here.. I need to see YOU.. I want to see YOU.. just to tell YOU.. Please sit on this Chair so that IT does not feel so empty like HOW MY HEART feels without YOU.. I need you because I love YOU.. will you please come Home.. Please come back to Me.. I am missing YOU like crazy.. I am just missing you.. and as I turn to LOOK toward the window.. I am starting to see the rain falling.. it just keeps on getting worse as days go by.. without YOU it feels like I can't go ON.. that is why I need YOU.. that is why I needs to tell you that I love YOU.. Please Come HOME and help me to Love YOU again.. I need YOU.. I need to love YOU again and only way is if YOU come home.. where this Chair.. empty chair is waiting.. just like ME.. waiting for YOU To come home.. I am looking at the Chair.. the Empty Chair.. and I just can't take my eyes off.. just wondering when are YOU coming Home.. I been calling you on the Phone.. Do you not here the Phone ringing.. I know that the number is correct because I can hear YOUR voice.. I can here you saying to leave the voice on the message.. I been wondering.. why aren't you picking up the Phone.. you know that this is killing me when YOU do this.. I been thinking a lot lately.. and I even left you a voice message.. telling YOU that I am so sorry.. how many times Must I tell YOU that what I did was wrong.. and I told you that I am so sorry.. will you please give me another chance.. I know that I can do better this time.. of course YOU heard me telling YOU this before.. so what do you want me to do.. So do you want me to stop calling YOU.. I know that I am the one who did fault.. and I even plead and even begged YOU.. I left you a Message on the Phone.. I am still calling you.. because we needs to talk.. YOU needs to tell me something so that I know what Not to do.. so please Pick up the Phone.. as I am dialing Your number.. I am putting my Phone on the ear.. I hear the ringing going through.. as I am standing on the living room.. I walk to the diner room.. standing there.. I see Your Empty chair.. I just can't believe YOU are doing this to Me.. why are YOU hurting me.. I know that it is me who shouted at YOU.. and I was angry.. but.. does it means YOU have to hate me like this.. DO you really Hate Me.. YOU told me that you will Never hate me.. then why are YOU not answering the Phone.. it is getting late.. few days.. Now weeks went by.. I am still here waiting for YOU.. just wondering How you are doing.. Please.. Baby.. Please answer the Phone.. tell me something so that I know.. I can let go.. I can let go of this frustration that is in me.. I know.. I told you already.. I am so sorry.. as I am looking at the empty Chair.. I have set another Plate.. it is by Your Chair.. I would place a cup of water.. with utensils.. with napkin on the side.. I made YOU a steak.. green beans and mash potatoes.. next to the cup of water is another cup of wine.. I have set it.. maybe YOU will come tonight.. Maybe you will stop by later tonight.. but.. just in case you are hungry.. I have placed Your Plate.. Your food on the table by the Chair.. Your Empty Chair.. as I would walk to the front door and I open.. looking outside.. I would walk out with a jacket.. it is pretty cold and I can see the Moon.. as I am walking.. and I stop.. I see the light rain falling from the sky.. I am wondering are you close by.. Can you see the rain.. I know that I am getting hit by the rain.. it does not matter now because I am sick.. My Heart is sick because I am missing YOU.. its been weeks.. and each night.. I would be waiting by the empty Chair.. I would be in the kitchen cooking a meal.. each time I would eat dinner.. I am always looking for YOU.. I would be thinking of YOU.. as I would be sitting down on my side.. I would get back UP.. going back into the kitchen.. I know that I have to bring out another Plate.. I know that you may not come tonight.. maybe Not.. but still.. I am thinking what if YOU would show UP.. what if YOU come.. I would always make a meal for two.. Just in case YOU may show UP later deep in the night.. when I am asleep.. who knows when and I would put Your Plate.. Your dinner on the top of the table.. if I sleep and I don't see you for that day.. at least YOU can come into the night.. late if you want too.. the Meal is ready for YOU.. come and eat if You are hungry.. it has been all prepared and done.. what you love the most.. your favorites I would ask.. and I would watch YOU taking the picture of each plates YOU love and would remind me this is what you like and dislike.. and I would put the picture of the plates YOU love.. in my room.. and from time to time I would take a look at it.. and I would make those meals just for you.. as I am outside in the cold.. with my jacket on.. I am getting wet.. light rain hitting me.. and I would stop.. My Heart hurts Now.. I would go into my room.. and day to day.. I would pull out the picture of the Plate.. each Night I would be in the kitchen.. cooking each of the Meals YOU love.. every night comes.. One Plate.. the Next Night Another Plate YOU love.. your favorite dishes.. and I would sit on my Chair.. waiting for YOU to come Home.. as I would wait.. it becomes late.. and yes.. I would feel so sleepy.. getting UP out of the Chair.. I am looking at the Plate.. and Looking at the Empty Chair.. I can feel my Heart crying inside.. as I would wait for YOU and YOU do not show UP.. I would turn the Other way and walk into the room.. closing the Door behind.. and I lay on the bed.. and I start to cry.. crying a lot because I would miss YOU.. calling YOU on the Phone.. I would sit still just to hear Your Voice.. I would hear the Phone be ringing.. asking myself.. why is it this Hard to love YOU.. why are you making it so Hard for me to get closer.. am I that evil person.. why Hurt me.. I feel only tears in my eyes.. I told YOU that I am so sorry.. I told YOU that I missed YOU and that I love YOU.. but why don't you pick up the Phone.. why don't you even show UP to the House.. YOU don't miss me at all.. YOU know that I miss YOU.. I call you every day.. I only want to listen to Your Voice.. I want to hear YOU.. but only at the end to leave the Message YOU tell me too.. it breaks my Heart when YOU do this to Me.. it breaks my heart when YOU stop caring about me.. it breaks my Heart when YOU don't answer.. I even would leave in the Night.. I have prepared YOU a Meal.. a Dinner I made to eat.. I have already eaten.. If you don't want to see me.. I am Not going to force YOU to come to see me.. But Please.. if YOU get hungry and YOU are near by.. Please stop by.. I am ready to sleep for the night.. so Please come tonight.. by the time you get this message.. when YOU come.. I am sure I am already at bed by then.. if YOU ever feel you want to eat Your Favorite FOOD.. and I would take a picture of the Plate I made for YOU and I would send the picture to YOU so that YOU can see what I have made and prepared for that night.. and I be sitting on my side of the chair.. and I would get UP and I would leave.. going into the room so that If you want to show UP.. YOU can without seeing Me being there.. as I am standing Out side.. feeling the Light rain falling down on me.. I begin to feel My Heart be hurting.. I can feel my Heart be breaking.. I just can't take it any more.. why can't I see YOU any more.. YOU telling me YOU love me.. was all those words nothing but a Lie.. My Words.. when I tell YOU that I love YOU.. it is NO lies.. I am telling YOU because I am saying it from my Heart.. why do you tell me YOU love me.. and when I call YOU on the Phone.. YOU never pick UP to answer.. YOU tell me that YOU love me so much.. LOOK at what YOU are doing to me.. it is because I love YOU.. I been loving YOU for so Long.. I am standing Out here.. it is cold Out here.. I see the rain falling down on me.. and I am waiting for YOU.. but I know that In my heart.. even tonight YOU will Not show UP.. I know that YOU will not show UP but just in case YOU do.. I have faith in love.. I have faith in us because I know that I love YOU.. YOU know how much I love YOU.. I wrote YOU songs.. I would sing YOU songs even though I may not have the voice to sing.. but.. In my heart I can still sing telling YOU that I love YOU.. and How much I love YOU.. showing YOU and sharing to YOU how much I do.. as I am walking back.. I been walking for a while.. just thinking about YOU late in the Night.. as I am can feel the rain hitting me.. and I know that I am going to get sick.. I guess I did it on Purpose so if I do get sick.. and I am laying in the Hospital Bed.. will you come and visit me.. or am I going to be sick alone.. I been walking.. stopping and Looking UP to the Moon.. shouting out to the Moon.. Looking at the stars.. as I am getting Hit by the light rain.. it is so dark and cold Out here.. I want to get sick.. because my Heart is already dying and I am falling apart.. I can feel my Heart just be breaking.. pieces by pieces.. missing YOU.. and pains crashing in and I am hitting the Floor.. How much pain can I endure of this Love.. I am Not sure any more.. but I feel like I am dying inside.. How much I love YOU.. But I know I am crashing and burning because I love YOU.. as I am walking back to the House.. there was NO lights in the House.. and I stop.. there is a Light in the Diner Room.. am I suppose to be shocked
Leaving YOU a message.. taking a picture of the plate with your Favorite meal and I would send it too YOU.. standing and looking at Your side.. I would still see.. YOU did not come.. You did Not show UP even after I would tell YOU I be sleeping.. it breaks my Heart that YOU just don't care.. I would realize.. If I did not shouted at YOU.. then all this would not come.. if I was more patient with YOU and more understanding,, caring and kind to YOU.. I would been seeing YOU sitting ON that Empty Chair.. I would watch YOU holding the Giant Teddy bear.. and YOU be smiling at me.. and YOU be asking me.. what am I cooking tonight.. what Meal.. and I would pull out a picture of the Plate YOU love and show you how about this Meal.. this Plate.. would you like this One for tonight.. and YOU be smiling Big.. and I be smiling back with tears in my eyes.. the joy of being able to give back.. giving you how much I love YOU.. the little things I would miss about YOU.. even just Your smile.. I would tell YOU.. YOU have the most beautiful smile in the world.. the Most prettiest.. Most beautiful smile.. and I would Hold a camera.. looking through the lens.. LOOKING at you and the smile and press the Click the picture of YOU.. why are you so beautiful.. why are YOU so Beautiful to me.. Please tell me why and I would cry looking at YOU because YOU are.. I would be standing by the front door.. thinking about YOU.. your smile.. and as the door opens I walk into the House.. I Just can't believe it.. I am looking at the Empty Chair.. I am looking at the Picture of YOU sitting on the Chair.. I want YOU home.. I want you here next to Me.. sitting on this chair which right Now I don't see you here.. as I am looking at the table.. I want to sit but I can't.. because I know that I am going to miss YOU if I don't see you across the table.. with YOUR beautiful smile.. I just keeps on missing YOU.. Please come Home.. Please come Home to me because I am missing YOU so bad.. will you please come back.. and I walk over.. I am standing by the Chair.. Your Chair.. the empty chair.. I am asking myself.. when will I see you again.. My hand.. holding your picture.. I lift up my hand.. holding Your picture in my hand.. YOU are holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. YOU are sitting on this chair.. the empty chair which right Now I am standing by.. on your lap is the Giant Teddy Bear sitting.. I can't believe YOU are not here.. I still can't believe YOU are Not here.. I been waiting for YOU more than a Month.. where are YOU now.. I been asking for YOU.. even begging YOU to come home.. I am taking pictures on the Phone.. sending you Plates.. your most favorite dishes I would make for dinner.. and Yes.. YOU are receiving the pictures.. because it goes direct to Your Number and yes.. I see that YOU are able to see the Pictures I would take.. looking at the Plates.. the dishes every Night so that I want YOU to come Home.. there are Nights I be waiting.. sitting on my side of the chair.. I am eating alone.. looking across is the empty Chair.. I feel so hurt.. I feel so Bad.. I feel like I have messed UP so bad this time.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do next.. But I need YOU here because I have called you several times.. I would tell YOU with the Voice Message How much I have messed UP and that I am so sorry.. so tell me this.. are you with some one new.. are you with another guy because I truly want to know.. if YOU are leaving me Now for another guy.. please tell me so that I can let YOU go.. I would even write text messages asking you about this many times.. But YOU would Not answer me.. it breaks my Heart because I would call.. Phone number dials.. my ear listening to the ringing on the Phone.. and I am asking Please.. pick UP the phone.. Pretty Please answer so that I can at least hear YOU say that YOU are alright.. But I would call. I would not hear any answers.. and I am speaking to YOU through the Phone asking YOU Please come back to me because it does not matter if YOU are with another guy.. as long as I am still in your Heart.. just please come home.. as I am standing by next to Your Chair.. which is an Empty Chair.. I just want YOU HOME.. I want YOU close to me and I am missing YOU.. why can't you tell me that YOU miss me too.. tell me what is in your Heart so that I know how you are doing.. I am looking at the Chair.. the Empty Chair.. I just want to cry.. I want to just pour out my eyes out.. just pour out my tears because I want to see YOU.. it is so hard not seeing YOU for Month.. I need to see YOU.. at least say that YOU do know my Heart.. as I am looking at the Phone.. I have made another Dinner dish.. a steam fish with veggies and I would look at the camera and I would be looking as I would click and I am looking at the picture of Dish I made for YOU this very night and I would look for YOUR Number and I would send it to YOU.. I would be look at my chair.. I would walk and sit on the chair.. and I would start to eat late into the night.. I would be looking across.. looking at Your chair.. the Empty Chair.. I can feel the Heavy in my Heart.. I would look across looking at the Empty Chair.. the Chair YOU sat when we would eat dinner together.. I would open my mouth and say.. I really miss YOU.. why do you have to be the one to Break my Heart.. shattering my Brains and my thought into pieces.. YOU know how much I love YOU.. you know that by NOW.. I am truly sorry and yes I can feel the suffering and pain in my Heart.. I am in so much ache because I need YOU here.. I am missing YOU so much.. why do you have to do this to me when YOU know that I love YOU.. Please come home.. I am looking at your Picture.. YOU are sitting on the Chair.. smiling with the Giant Teddy Bear sitting on your Lap with the Plate.. as I have the Bottle on the top of the Table.. I also placed the Shot Glass.. I just hate feeling this Pain.. Out side I can hear the wind blowing.. and it is lightly raining out side.. I just came from the Out side waiting for YOU.. wondering if I would stand out there.. I would see YOU coming Home.. still having that ray of Hope that YOU would come Home.. knowing at least YOU are receiving all of the Pictures of the dishes I made each night I send.. asking YOU I made this and that.. if YOU come home.. I would be in my room sleeping.. but YOUR Plate.. dinner is set by the Chair.. on top of the table waiting for YOU.. I would wake up each morning.. Hoping that YOU came late last night and had that dinner.. each Night and every morning I walk out of the room.. I would look at the top of the table.. LOOK at the plate and looking at Your Chair.. the empty Chair.. I be heart broken because Nothing has been touched.. the food still be on that Plate.. never been touched.. and I would grab the Plate.. the Food goes into the trash and my Heart be broken because I am hoping that YOU came because I made it just for YOU.. but each night.. I would make it.. and after I am done eating.. I go into the room to sleep.. expecting you to finish the Plate when I wake UP the new next day.. its been a month now.. and I am still wondering.. are you going to come.. because I am waiting for YOU.. but I know that I have to still make the Favorite dinner dish.. the Plate just in case YOU come home and I don't want to see YOU hungry.. I want to see YOU.. I been missing YOU and My Heart is crying inside me.. I just came from Out side.. that is How my Heart feels inside this Home.. like it wants to rain down.. I am looking across.. sitting on my chair.. but my eyes keeps on looking across.. asking for YOU.. I want YOU close.. I want you in my arms so that I can love YOU.. but all my eyes can see right now is Your Chair.. the Chair is empty.. and I feel empty inside like that chair which is empty because YOU are not here.. But I need you here so that I can say it to you how much I am so sorry.. I want to say it to you so that YOU know my real Heart.. that I am missing YOU.. I want you here.. but Now.. I see that I can't see YOU.. as I open the top of the Bottle.. and I would pour into the shot glass.. and I put the bottle Down.. I raise UP the shot glass.. with liquor inside.. I open my mouth and take a Shot.. I hear something ringing.. and I am not sure if it is the Liquor getting to me.. and I would turn too look at my phone.. I see that someone is calling me.. I raise up the Phone to look. I just can't believe it.. and I am wondering.. it must be the Shot glass playing tricks on me.. it must be my eyes seeing things.. and I would pick UP the Phone.. and I hear YOUR voice.. it has been about a Month.. and I have not heard anything from YOU.. and I hear you saying something and only thing I can say is that I am so sorry and that I miss YOU.. YOU know how much I miss YOU and how much I love YOU because Now I know what YOU really means to me.. YOU means everything to me.. You always been everything but I just couldn't express it how.. but now I am able to tell YOU.. How much I missed YOU because I am looking across.. I have seen that the Chair has been empty.. its been missing.. missing YOU.. and I would hear YOU.. that YOU wanted to come Home.. and I am telling YOU to come home.. because in this house I am waiting for YOU Only.. I am looking at the Phone.. able to look at the screen.. I see your Beautiful Face.. I just can't believe YOU have finally answered.. but why did it take this long for YOU to tell me How you are doing.. why can't you tell me sooner.. I have brought the Giant Teddy Bear.. I wanted to show YOU something.. and Placed the Giant Teddy Bear on your Chair.. able to switch it where YOU are able to see it as I am showing you How much this Giant Teddy Bear been missing YOU.. I am sure more than Me.. usually YOU would sleep with this Giant Teddy Bear and I know without Your Presence.. it does Not feel the same
Looking at the Empty Chair.. I am always looking at the past memories.. YOU be laughing.. telling me too salty.. or too dry.. some times a meat ball flies and hits my face and YOU smile.. just these little things.. I would be laughing too because I am at the most happiest when YOU are smiling.. able to smile back.. grab a meat ball and throw back at YOU.. of course I would of missed YOU.. I just can't help it any more.. I was really thinking maybe it should be the last Dinner plate I should make because may be YOU are Not going to ever come Home and just forget me for good.. as I am looking at YOU through my Phone Screen.. I have missed YOU so much.. I would grab the Shot Glass.. filled with the whiskey and Open my mouth to take another Shot.. I know that My Head is about to fall off.. I can see everything circling around Me.. I know that I can't stand UP straight.. and I know that when I wake UP the next morning.. My Head is going to kill me.. rather this is a dream or Not.. I am smiling looking at YOU through the screen of my Phone.. My Heart been aching for a Long time.. just missing YOU.. why I keep on missing YOU.. I now know how much I love YOU.. because of looking across is the Empty Chair.. the Chair YOU sat.. I am looking across.. the Giant Teddy Bear is sitting there who is waiting for YOU to come back to Her.. all I can say is that I am so Sorry.. and that I love YOU.. as the Phone shuts off.. I would put my head on top of the table and I would sleep.. My Heart hurts.. Now that MOON has become My friend and times like this.. this pain and aching in my Heart.. when I feel like I want to die from the Inside.. and How much I missed YOU.. I just had to tell that MOON like a friend.. How much I missed YOU.. Yes.. I made Dinner for few days straight.. and for those past few days.. YOU have not shown UP.. I only saw the Chair.. Your Chair which has been empty.. I would sat the Plate with the Food on the side Of Your table.. but ALL I can see is Your Chair is empty.. I would just look across.. I wanted to reach Out my hand.. I wanted to touch YOU.. but How can I when I see the Chair.. I don't see YOU but only the Empty Chair.. I wanted to call Out your name.. But what can that do.. YOU would not hear me anyways because the Chair YOU sat when we ate together.. It was empty.. I would to say Your name.. call Out and reach to touch YOU.. my arms wanted to hold YOU still.. wrap around YOU but all I see is the Empty Chair.. I see the Food and Your Plate but I don't see YOU.. do you know how it feels to be sitting on the other side of the Chair.. I have my Plate and food.. and try to sit there alone.. eating by myself and all I could do is look across.. I see the Empty Chair.. I would have your Picture.. Put it on the TOP of the table and I would LOOK at it.. I would LOOK at YOU through this Picture.. it is not the same as I am looking at YOU right Now Face to face.. it does not feel right.. I would be asking Your Picture.. DO you even Love me.. if YOU love me why Hurt me like this.. if YOU Know how much I love YOU.. why keep on hurting me like this.. YOU know that I love YOU.. if YOU know that I love you a lot.. it is Not fair to hurt me in a way I should feel like this.. WHY hurt me knowing I love YOU.. that is why I am asking YOU right Now.. do YOU love Me.. if YOU love me.. Please don't hurt me because I am not here to be hurt BY you.. I also need to be loved as much as YOU do.. as I am looking at YOU.. YOU know that my Heart felt like burning.. and it would shattered into pieces.. because I love YOU.. as I look at YOU.. YOU still looks so beautiful.. is.. I even took a picture of YOU sitting with that Huge Bear.. I am over here just missing YOU.. WHY did you have to do this to me when YOU don't love me.. I told you that I love YOU.. I told you my heart and my soul.. that I wanted you to be the one who join in forever with me.. As I sat there on the Chair.. looking at the Watch.. Looking at the clock on the wall.. as it was getting late into the Night.. I get Up from the Chair.. my tears just flowing down.. I would walk out of the front door.. as I stand late into the Night.. I am looking at the Moon.. I am wondering.. WHAT DO I must do to earn YOUR LOVE.. Help me to understand.. If I love YOU.. and I am asking you to stay with Me.. why is it so hard for YOU to know that My Heart and what I say is true.. I am Not lying to YOU at all.. I am only expressing of How Much I love YOU.. why don't you trust My Heart.. WHY don't you know that It is me who Loves YOU the most.. I know that I can love you more.. I can love you where you know I can.. as I am looking at that Moon.. I want YOU to be close.. I want to tell YOU that it is Me who YOU need.. it is me who loves YOU the best.. all you got is to trust me in this.. YOU do not know how long of a flight I had to fly.. the years of coming.. Now.. I am here.. please.. just give me Your Hand.. and I will show YOU HOW MUCH I love YOU.. as long as YOU can trust me and understand.. when YOU give me Your Hand.. once I hold the grip of your Hand.. I will never let Your Hand to go because I love YOU.. and as I turn to walk into the House and I come over to sit on the Chair.. I looked UP.. wiping my Tears.. I see YOU.. I see you sitting there on the Chair.. Holding the Huge Bear.. with red ribbon.. smiling.. WHY are you doing this to Me.. One minute YOU are gone.. Next minute I see YOU.. then YOU are gone.. I cry and Now.. I see you again.. as I sat there.. Putting down the Camera.. I see YOU.. I smile.. even though YOU are NOT THERE.. YOU Live in My Heart.. even though YOU may be so Far.. I see the Chair empty.. but also.. I can close my both eyes.. when I open and LOOK.. I see you sitting on that Chair.. it is because I love YOU.. NO matter How far YOU are.. IN MY HEART.. I know YOU live in.. all I do is say.. I see YOU.. I love YOU.. I am looking at the Empty Chair.. it is Your Chair.. the chair YOU sat down when we would eat together.. I did not know why YOU left.. I am so sorry for letting YOU down.. but I saw YOU angry at Me.. I know that I am Not perfect.. I make a lot of Mistakes.. of course I do because I am also imperfect Human Being.. But there are times I know I just can't say the right Words to YOU.. making YOU angry and frustrated with situations I am not use to with.. When YOU get mad.. or Angry.. I see the Great storms coming.. it hits my Heart like a Hurricane.. and it blows me to the Floor.. But.. I want the best for Us.. I want us to win in this Life.. YOU know How hard and tough Life can be.. it is Not easy for Me.. But YOU know that NO matter the wrong words I would say to YOU.. I know I should Not say.. which It makes YOU to storm Off the room.. it is because I know that I am Not perfect.. But.. YOU know that I love YOU.. I have Never stopped Loving YOU.. it only grows with Time because I know YOU are the One for Me.. and YOU are wondering.. WHY do I choose the wrong Words to say and tell YOU.. because also I go through a lot myself.. I deal with such Hardship.. sometimes It is Not easy to say when I feel unappreciated.. I get hurt Too.. I feel Hurt inside as much as YOU do.. and Yes.. I do regret when YOU walk off the room.. Leaving me just standing here.. I can't explain it sometimes but.. I know that deep inside my Heart.. I do truly love YOU.. I am so sorry for Hurting YOU.. I am so sorry that YOU got Up and left because I could Not say the right words but has chosen to say the wrong words to Hurt YOU.. Now.. I am here all alone.. I been looking at the Clock.. only thing I see is the Clock ticking.. and I am just waiting for YOU to come back Home.. Now I feel so Lost.. I feel so Hurt.. I feel like I know I have wronged YOU but it is because I wanted to say I love YOU.. YOU are wondering.. If I love YOU.. why choose words to say what Hurts YOU the most right.. WHY choose those makes YOU angry and bring frustrations right.. It is because I know I can't make it right.. because I know it is my fault.. I am the One who made the mistake.. so sometimes I would try to say something so that YOU would not respond in a defense.. I know that when YOU fire back.. it hurts Me.. It makes me want to cry but In front of YOU.. I don't want to show YOU any more tears.. I have already shown YOU enough tears but wants to show YOU smile.. bring a smile to your face.. that is why.. I am waiting for YOU.. I even left a message.. I am not sure if YOU got the Message because I am thinking.. right Now is Not the time.. YOU are truly angry at me.. but.. why did YOU leave without saying a Word to me.. when are YOU coming back.. How far are YOU going.. Are you going to be leaving Me behind.. Am I suppose to wait for YOU.. did YOU go out for some fresh of air.. I am over here.. only wondering where YOU are.. wondering if YOU went Out for a walk.. so Am I suppose to wait for YOU.. I am sitting on the chair on the Other side.. the Chair I been sitting when we would eat together.. But.. it seems like it has been awhile.. I would turn a side to look at the Clock.. the Time has been dragging.. sitting here and just waiting.. the Time seems like it is going by so Slow.. and looking across.. I see the Chair.. Your Chair which YOU sat down
Across.. only thing I see is the Chair.. the Chair is empty.. I don't see YOU across this table.. I am thinking.. is this a Dream.. or is this really happening to me.. WHY is it has to end this way.. why tell me that YOU love me and Now.. YOU are Gone with the Wind.. I can't help myself but my eyes are looking at this Chair.. Your chair YOU sat.. I would watch YOU smile as you would eat.. we would talk about the day.. the day YOU would spend time at work.. about Your co workers.. But Now.. I only see the Empty Chair.. and it feels so different because of YOU are Not sitting in it.. I cannot go to that kitchen.. because ALL I see is You.. How you love to make food.. brings such a true joy and blessings in my stomach.. every food YOU make.. it tastes so good and really touches my soul.. and I just cannot forget when YOU tell me.. How do I like it or Not.. I would say.. I love it because.. I know that I am eating from Your hands.. your hands which would be busy making.. Your Heart which YOU put in so much.. of how tasty you wanted to make.. my hand would touch my chest knowing that YOU have touched my Heart.. and I would be smiling as I watch YOU sit on that Chair.. I would look at Your eyes and would say.. YOU are so Beautiful.. delicate flower.. The Most beautiful delicate flower I ever saw.. So beautiful.. Not because of the food.. because It is only being YOU.. Now.. all I see is YOU.. but I don't see YOU anywhere Now.. I have been sitting on this Chair.. on this same spot for few hours.. but I here nothing from YOU.. I would send a Message.. There is No word Back.. I would also call YOU on the Phone.. YOU would not pick Up on the Other side.. just leaving me wondering.. is it that Bad what I have said to YOU.. is it because YOU never loved me from the first Place.. I know you left few times.. But.. YOU would tell me YOU are going out for a walk and needed some fresh of air.. YOU needed your Own time and space and wanted to spend alone.. of course I would agree with YOU and let you have Your Time and space.. to think about what I have done.. but this Time.. it feels so different.. YOU would send Word and would reply back.. and also you would answer the call and Let me speak and YOU would speak back.. I would say I am so Sorry.. I would lead out my apology.. Now.. I feel like this has to be something I really done something bad.. because NO words.. No replies.. I am looking at Your Picture.. Not sure why I keep on looking at It.. of course.. Now Matter how much I would take a Look at your Picture.. I just wish that I am able to speak to YOU.. if the Picture can speak back and tell me what is in your Heart.. what is IN your thoughts.. for a long time.. I wanted to hear what YOU have to say.. as I would look at your Picture.. But what good is it when YOU just had to hold back but only showing tears in the eyes.. it is hard when you just can't say a word and just hold back.. Kills you from the inside.. SO I had to close my eyes.. counting the stars for the chance to come.. asking the Moon.. How long does it take.. How long must I had back the years showing tears to YOU.. so.. if you look at my shoes.. it is not easy of waiting and waiting for the TIME to come.. it is hard but.. I am looking at Your Heart.. I just could not believe.. I see Your Picture too.. looking at YOU and looking at Your Big Heart is like a Dreams come true.. but in reality.. I know that I am not dreaming any more.. Now.. I know that I want to say some much to This Heart of Yours.. what is holding YOUR HEART back of receiving.. I want to give.. I just want to pour out and give YOU all of my Heart and my Love to YOU.. and to tell Your Heart.. I have been waiting for this very day.. that is why I am Not going to hold anything back.. I want to tell Your Heart.. How much I love YOU.. I never stopped loving YOU.. then I loved YOU.. Now.. I love YOU.. still I love YOU.. and More I love you every day.. it is Not going to stop me to keep on loving YOU more every day.. because I have been waiting for YOU.. for Your Big Heart.. for this Heart.. I miss YOU and I love YOU still.. because YOU are my everything.. my forever and ever love in my Heart.. I waited.. Now.. I know I can love you more because I love you.. I am standing Outside.. I just could Not stay Inside because I started to Miss YOU.. sitting on the Chair.. I am looking across and I still see the Empty Chair.. I am waiting for YOU.. looking at the two Plates.. after making Dinner for us.. I just could not stay inside any longer.. I want you Close.. I want YOU near.. I walked Out the Door.. and I am staring out.. Looking at the Moon.. I am asking myself.. Where are YOU.. WHY don't you want to Come home.. is it because what I said to YOU.. but YOU know that sometimes I would say things I should not say.. but also YOU would tell me things that WOULD hurt me as well.. I am waiting for YOU.. Please Come HOME.. I think the Food on the Plate is getting cold.. I have waited and waited.. Looking at the watch.. Looking at the clock.. I see that YOU are Not here yet.. It is pretty cold Outside.. pretty Chilly this very day and I am still waiting for YOU.. WHY don't you want to come Home.. YOU know How much I love YOU.. Please Come Home.. as I am standing there.. I have your picture in my hand.. and I take a LOOK at your Picture.. What have I done.. WHAT did I say those words to YOU.. I am so sorry.. Please forgive me.. because I am Now sorry for the Words I say to YOU.. DID NOT mean to say it in a way to cause YOU to cry.. I know that the damage is already Done but.. I am hurt too.. YOU know that I am not feeling right.. so Please.. Pretty Please come Home to me.. and tell me.. tell me that YOU are coming Home.. as I stand here IN the Night.. it is getting colder outside.. can feel the blowing of the Wind.. as I stand there.. I look UP to the Moon.. and I just can't take this Pain any more.. I can't take this ache in my Heart.. because I am missing YOU.. YOU know that I have not seen you all day.. did not even see YOU last Night or before that Night.. it has been few days that it went By.. and Yes.. I called YOU on the Phone.. but I see that YOU just don't want to talk to me.. I can hear the ringing on the other side.. but.. I only can leave a Voice message.. I am wondering now.. DID YOU get my Message.. I told YOU on the Phone.. left YOU a Message that I am so Sorry.. that I am not going to do that again.. and Now.. days passes by.. still No answer.. YOU have Not left me any messages.. I am wondering about YOU.. I am missing YOU.. and it drives me crazy because I am not sure what is going through Your Mind and heart.. Please tell me.. so that I don't have to worry about YOU.. I am Looking UP at the Moon.. Can you Hear me.. even though I called Your Phone.. even today this Morning I left a message on Your Phone.. did YOU get the message.. did YOU hear my Voice on the other side.. and yes.. every Night.. for the past few days.. I would clean UP the food ON your Plate and make a New Dinner.. Just in case YOU show up this Very day.. Do you know what Hurts me the Most.. that I would have to get UP from the Chair.. and I have to look across and I see Your Chair.. that chair has been empty for few days Now.. I would sit by myself.. I ache in my Heart as I am eating alone.. just for one meal.. I wanted to take my time to share with YOU.. and I would be looking across.. as Your Picture is laying next to the Plate.. I would take a Look at the Picture of YOU and I would touch my Chest.. telling Your Picture.. while looking.. I would stop eating and say TO your Picture.. How sorry I am and that I love YOU.. you would Not answer me and it hurts because I am missing YOU not wondering what YOU are doing.. I be eating.. Looking across.. Looking at Your Chair.. the empty Chair.. how YOU sat down and we would look at each other.. smile and eat.. just for that One night.. for that Dinner.. I would cook so that YOU know this is what I can give YOU to tell YOU.. I may not be able to give YOU much.. but.. I want to give YOU something from my Heart.. it is a meal for two of us.. But Now.. I sit there alone.. and I hear nothing.. so quiet.. and just silence in that ROOM.. I would get UP after I finish eating alone.. my Plate would be done.. as I walk across.. I would grab Your Plate.. still has Food on the table.. and I would go into the kitchen.. and it goes into the trash.. I would stand and I would wash the Plates and put back into the cabinet.. as I turn around.. I would look at Your Chair.. the empty Chair where YOU sat once.. and Now I am just missing Your presence.. and I would ask looking at Your Empty Chair.. where are YOU.. DO you know that I am missing YOU.. I just can't believe YOU are gone and has not come home yet.. what If YOU never come Home.. what is going to happen to this Chair.. I don't want this Chair to sit here because of Knowing the memories of YOU.. I just can't take it any more.. I just can't see this Chair.. I can't because I am hurting too.. aching and wishing that YOU can come back.. WHY do you have to leave and Not tell me where YOU are going to go
Oink Oink.. I am looking at the Sun Set.. sitting on the Big Rock.. by the Lake.. the breeze of the wind blowing.. Lifting up the Shot Glass.. and I would Open my mouth and slam the Liquor.. just can't believe that I am still missing YOU.. as I am watching the Sun going down.. as I turn to look down.. I see my Heart.. who is sitting on the Little Rock.. next to Me.. and I know this pain.. as my Heart is holding the paper.. the Drawing of Your Heart.. and Just watching My Heart looking.. I can feel the Pain that is moving within My Soul.. YOU know that I am missing YOU.. and as I am holding the Shot Glass in my Hand.. I grab the Bottle that is on the Ground.. and with the Other hand.. pouring into the Shot Glass.. and I place the Bottle On the Ground.. I lift My Head toward the Sky.. I see the Moon.. I am looking UP at this Moon.. just thinking about that Distance.. I can hear crying.. I can hear the weeping.. and I know that It is Not Me.. as I turn my Head to look down.. My Heart.. wrapping around the paper.. the drawing of Your Heart.. I can Hear my Heart.. just crying for YOU.. but why is it Me who be feeling this Kind of Pain.. why do I feel this Pain of missing YOU.. I know for a Long time I have been missing YOU.. and I guess after a time goes By.. YOU can see it.. and YOU can feel it.. and I want to tell My Heart to STOP.. Please stop crying.. YOU are hurting me MORE if YOU keep on letting those tears show.. and I open my Mouth.. and slam the Liquor Into and Place the Shot glass On the ground.. I can feel it as much as YOU DO.. but when YOU let it out and show.. it just hurts me More.. as I grab the Picture.. the Picture of YOU that is on the ground.. and I lift to take a Look at YOU and I would say.. LOOK at what YOU have done.. Not just to Me.. and It turn to LOOK at My Heart and I would say.. to my Heart.. Please stop crying.. YOU are going to make me cry.. why are you want to make me cry.. I can't have this Kind of Pain any more.. as I would stand UP from Sitting on this Big Rock.. I am looking at Your Picture.. and My Heart turns to LOOK up at me and tells Me.. WHY are you looking at the Picture.. If you are telling me about this Pain.. the More YOU LOOK into the picture.. the PAIN is not going to ever go away but will get to ME.. the Heart and I can hear the Heart crying Louder.. and I am wondering.. is it me who will get sick.. or is it My Heart be sicker more.. I am Not sure who is going to be the ONE to be sick because I am Loving YOU just too much.. I want to tell YOU.. shout if I have too.. to tell YOU that I love YOU.. and I turn to LOOK at the waters.. should I run into that water.. maybe being cold and wet will help me NOT TO get sick.. I should just jump into that waters.. let the waves HIT me to wash me away.. left to right.. How about can I swim across to get to YOU.. will that even work.. and I turn and I look down at my Heart.. My Heart only looks at the paper.. the Drawing of Your Heart.. does NOT even pay any attention to what I just said but I do Hear my Heart say.. I heard YOU.. just Go for it.. If you think you can then Just go but.. I can't leave my Heart just sitting Down on this Little Rock.. I know that My Heart just can't swim.. so maybe I should Not go.. My Heart be stay way behind.. that is WHY.. and Now.. I feel like I am stuck.. stuck and feels like I am getting sick too.. so I sit back on the Big Rock.. and I am looking at Your Picture and I would say.. looking at You.. what do you think that I should Do.. since I have NO answer and Have No idea at this Point.. I want to go to see YOU.. I want to be close to YOU.. but sitting here on this Big Rock.. and taking Shots of the Liquor is Not going to take me any where.. or just sitting here and talking to my Heart.. that Heart do Not help me at all.. and My Heart turns to LOOK UP.. and tells Me.. so.. When YOU LOOK at the Picture.. do YOU think that the Picture is able to hear YOU speak.. do YOU think that the Picture is going to answer back to YOU.. if YOU want to go and swim across.. if YOU really want to see YOU.. then GO for It.. but looking at YOU sitting ON the Big Rock.. LOOKING at the Picture and talking to it.. it is going to make the MOON very angry when the MOON takes a LOOK at YOU wondering.. WHO are YOU talking TOO.. and sees that I am talking to the Picture who cannot answer at ALL.. so I would turn my Head and I would look Down at the Heart.. and I stand UP siting on the Big ROCK and I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. and I would look at that MOON and say.. YOU think I am very funny.. because too me this IS NOT FUNNY at all.. and I would look at Your Picture and I would say.. IF the MOON can help me.. please be at my Help for once.. I have been trying to let the MOON KNOWS about My Heart.. if YOU can Come here and take a CLOSER look.. I have a Picture.. if YOU can Identify and Help me to get the word Out.. the Word which comes from MY Heart.. can YOU do me a BIG favor.. if YOU can come Down from staying that High and look at the Picture I am holding in my Hands.. and take a Closer LOOK.. do YOU see the One I love.. it is YOU.. can YOU speak on my Behalf and tell to YOU how much I love YOU.. that I am missing YOU Like crazy right Now.. that I want to let YOU know that I came to this Lake.. the same lake I have been coming for a long time.. waiting for the MOON to give attention to Me so that the Word can get OUT TO you.. and I am looking around.. but when I walk a little further.. there are many empty Bottles.. I am wondering.. are these my Bottles that I have left behind which is still here.. I just can't believe it has been that long since I came last time.. but I still see the Bottles when I walk a little further.. I do remember the last time I came.. I wanted to sent a Message in the Bottle.. and maybe this very night I should try again.. to see if the Bottle will go far this time.. and I would turn to LOOK at my Heart.. who is still sitting on the Little Rock.. holding the paper.. the Drawing of Your Heart.. I can Hear the Heart and it is beating.. as the paper is close to the Chest of the Heart.. and I would sit on the big Rock.. grabbing the Shot Glass.. and the Bottle to pour onto the Shot Glass the Hard liquor.. and I would open my Mouth and slam it down.. as I place the Bottle and Now.. the Bottle has become empty and the Shot Glass on the ground.. I turn to the Heart.. asking for a Piece of Paper.. to rip a piece for Me.. I need to write something.. a Note to YOU.. telling you where I am at.. Maybe since I can't swim to go to YOU.. let the Bottle with the Message of this Note get to YOU and YOU may know where to Find Me.. and My Heart gives me the piece of a ripped paper to Me.. so I find a Pen on the Ground and Wrote a Note to YOU stating the where about I am at.. the Name of the Lake.. so that YOU will know.. My Heart turns to LOOK UP at me.. is that ALL I am going to say.. Just the Name of the Lake and that is IT.. and I turn to LOOK down at My Heart and I would say.. what do YOU means.. if I do Not tell YOU where I am at.. How do YOU KNOW where to find Me and My Heart would say.. How about the Pain.. how about the aching.. How about being sick.. How about I am missing YOU.. and How about How much I love YOU and I sit there.. so DO YOU want me to write all that IN this SMALL Note.. I want to say a lot more but when YOU Look at the Piece of paper.. it is so Small that I can only write just the Name of the Lake.. and I just can't believe it.. I turn to the MOON and I told the MOON if it can help me to get the Word Out to YOU.. I am sure if that MOON is able to hear my Out cry for my Heart.. knowing that I am talking to the Picture and Yes.. knowing that I am crazy.. the MOON would say.. I am very crazy and makes NO sense because I am talking to the Picture who just can't hear Me.. and that is WHY I look at My Heart.. asking for the Piece of paper.. only if the Heart gave me a bigger piece.. I am able to express and say a lot More but.. and yes.. I am crazy.. that is WHY I can come this very Far.. Because I am very crazy for YOU.. and I turn to LOOK at the Heart sitting on the Big Rock and I tell the Heart.. YOU are still Crying.. but telling me that I am crazy.. YOU TOO is crazy too.. that is a Piece of paper.. it is a drawing of a Heart.. and YOU are crying for It which the Heart cannot hear YOU crying and weeping for YOU.. and I turn to LOOK up to the MOON.. and I would say to the MOON.. DO you see what happens when YOU and the Heart is just crazy.. makes NO sense but when YOU LOVE.. it starts with making NO sense.. because LOOK at how far YOU are.. look at How far I must realize but that far and the distance which YOU Put in me.. I want to be with YOU.. does It make any sense.. Loving YOU starts with missing YOU.. If you are asking me WHY.. why do I love YOU when I am missing YOU.. because the further YOU are from me.. the More I want to be with YOU.. the More I want to see YOU until I see YOU in my arms.. but I can't stop Now.. if YOU are telling me to stop.. I am not going to stop until I see YOU and have YOU in my arms.. it is because I love YOU.. as I would roll the Piece of Paper I wrote as the Note.. I put into the Bottle which is Empty now.. I would stand UP from sitting on the Big Rock.. but.. looking at the lake seems pretty far of walking.. it must be this Bottle.. this Shot Glass and the Liquor getting to me Now.. I see the blurry vision.. can't tell How far I must walk because it seems now far to walk.. just missing YOU.. my Heart aches.. this Pain in my Heart keeps on aching and breaking me into pieces.. and I just finished this Bottle.. it is Not a small bottle either.. and I can see that it is getting to Me.. and I would back down on the Big ROCK.. placing the Bottle on the ground.. picking up the Picture of YOU.. and I would say looking at the Picture.. why are you hurting Me
MAH MAH.. I am standing.. holding a stick in my hand.. Looking at the Sun rising before my eyes.. I know that I must get ready.. the Other hand pulls Out the Art Sketch paper.. it is the drawing of YOU.. I can hear my Heart beating so Fast when I look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. I am getting ready and preparing these Men.. the MEN who came to YOU.. the New recruits.. I had NO idea that YOU would put me on the front Line.. to prepare these Men.. these YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits.. WHY would you give me this Mission.. why would you give me the Permission to teach and to train these YOUNG MEN.. YOU know that I am Not that GOOD.. but Like HOW you gave me the Order and has commanded me to do so.. There are A lot of Other Generals.. the Superior before Me.. the Aged and well fought.. who are better Instructors and even YOU have the Chief Generals.. even the Great Commanders.. who has lead many victories over many wars they fought.. and I just don't understand why YOU put me in charge and gave me this KIND OF Order to do So.. I am Not even well trained.. did NOT fight many wars or has lead many soldiers to WIN many victories of Wars.. but WHY did YOU put me in Charge.. and I am looking at the Picture.. the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. as I am standing.. YOU also gave me few Men.. there are Seven of My Friends who are standing with me and with me they are standing Behind me.. I only came here.. just to be a Palace Guard.. just to guard the back door of the Palace.. Never imagined that I would come this very far.. so Close to YOU.. Only thing I ever wanted to ask of and say to YOU is how much I love YOU.. I only wanted to express deeply my Love for YOU.. never thought that I be here today.. as I am watching the Sun Rise.. before me are the tents.. and very SOON the New Recruits are going to come Out of the tents they are sleeping in and I have to begin the training for the New Big War.. as the Seven Men are behind Me.. I am looking forward.. I see the Men.. the New recruits walking Out their tents.. My tears.. two lines are falling down both eyes.. I just can't believe I have to do this.. But I am not even experienced veteran at war.. I am Not even the general.. Not even the TOP general or the Chief general.. Not even the Commander or the Great Commander.. those MEN has years of many experiences of striking and WINNING in wars.. but why did MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH choose me to do this.. there are great war veterans.. WHAT AM I suppose to teach.. what Words MUST I say.. how can I lead victories for the Next war.. and I would watch all the YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits walking Out and they all stood in the Line just waiting.. I don't know what to DO.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and I would say.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. WHY did You give me this Kind of Order.. why did YOU commanded me to train and to teach.. to instruct these YOUNG RECRUT MEN.. what if I fail trying too.. and I would put the arm down holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. the Closest Friend takes the Art Sketch paper in my hand.. and I turn my Head aside.. and I would look.. by the Fence.. I see YOU there.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. sitting on the Horse.. I see YOU with the BIG CROWN on your Head.. standing around are the COMMANDERS.. the Chief Generals.. the Great Commanders of War.. I see the TOP Generals behind YOU and YOU are looking at me.. and I see YOU pulling Out the Sword.. telling me that the training has Begun.. But.. something stops Me.. something stops me to go further.. I don't know what it is because these are YOUR new recruits.. these are Men that came here for YOU.. to Fight for the Next war.. to Fight for the Next Battle Field.. these are the MEN who are going to Die if they are NOT trained right.. who came to protect and to defend YOU.. for the Nation and for YOU to be their QUEEN.. even though YOU are the Crown Princess right Now.. what am I doing right Now.. I would fall down on both Knees.. and I put my arm up forward and I would Lower my Head before YOU.. and I see you pointing the Sword to me.. telling me to speak.. and I lift UP my Head and I look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. these are YOUNG NEW MEN.. New recruits.. they are Unexperienced and has Not trained for years.. do NOT know what it is Like to fight in the Battle fields of War.. How can YOU let me be the trainer or the Instructor.. I know that I might sound so weak.. but it is the Lives that YOU are putting Under.. they have Lives and the Lives are very special and precious.. because of my Wrong.. I don't want to see the YOUNG MEN.. the New recruits to fall by the swords because of the wrong teaching or instructing.. that is why I am begging YOU to let someone else.. like the experienced and the veterans of war.. who lead men to victories to take my Place.. and I would see YOU looking at me.. but The sword.. I see the sword YOU are holding.. YOU lifted it UP higher telling me to GO.. and my Heart.. My Heart starting to beat so fast when I see YOU believe and Your Faith.. the trust YOU have.. telling me to go On.. My Heart.. starting to beat faster when I truly understood that Because I love YOU.. One thing that makes me so different is that I love YOU.. the Love that I have for YOU will never let others to fall because I love YOU.. I love YOU more and more and never stopped Loving YOU.. and I would look at YOU.. the Seven Men behind me.. they all fall on their two knees.. Arms UP forward and Heads all Lower before YOU.. and I see YOU still holding the Sword UP High.. and I know.. it means that Is it.. so I turn my Head.. LOOKING at the YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits.. and I know that these are YOUR MEN.. these are the defenders.. who are going to Protect YOU with Me.. and Yes.. NO ONE is going to stop us from trying Our Best.. I know that if I love YOU.. I will do whatever it takes to make YOUR MEN stronger.. make them more wiser and BE ready to walk into the War.. I Hear more voices and I turn the Other way.. where YOU are at.. I see More New Young Men.. More new recruits wants to join in the Military force.. and I have never seen such a Large Number of gathered.. the Guard at the gate by the Fence Opens and More YOUNG NEW RECRUITS.. who has passed the exam all runs Into the join the Camp.. the training ground.. and they stand in the back of the Line.. and I stand there looking at these Unprepared men.. I must.. wiping my tears from my eyes.. I must help them.. and I turn to LOOK at YOU.. ARM UP and Head lowers.. Your Sword Points to Me again and I would lift up my head and I would say to YOU.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I just wanted to say Thank YOU.. If you are asking why.. I remember I was by the Fence.. DO you not remember.. I was by the Fence waiting for the Chance.. there was a Guard telling me that I could Not come inside.. I had the Letter.. and the Older MAN who was the Instructor.. who was the One to teach me.. after I lost my Father.. I have fallen into great depression.. crying IN the Night.. and Just wanted to Give UP on life.. I remember the Only HOPE was go to YOU.. I walked for many days with out FOOD or Water.. did Not see the Winter and the great blizzard came and swept me away.. at that Moment I thought I was going to die.. I only thought of YOU.. and Kept on walking through the SNOW until I just could not walk any more and fell in the snow.. I wanted to cry.. as I was laying on the snow.. all I could think is YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. just to go and to see YOU.. before I die.. at least to tell YOU how much I love YOU and I closed two eyes.. I woke UP and I only called Out to YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. wanting to get close to YOU.. I was meant to die and said.. I am going to die any ways.. better to just die in the SNOW but.. I did Not die.. after waking UP in a Home.. the Older MAN started to teach me.. gave me an instruction and started to teach me the Art of Swordsmanship.. and He final gave me a Letter.. and Placed a Stamp saying I can go to the Camp.. the Guard by the Table told me I can go inside.. Large LINE to wait.. and It took me many days waiting in the Line and when It came to Me.. I was standing by the Fence.. the Guard who was by the gates told me I can't come in.. That day was the last day and I remember I saw YOU.. YOU came.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU stood with the Generals.. the TOP.. the CHIEF and the COMMANDERS.. Looking at the New Recruits who were the YOUNG MEN at that TIME.. I remember YOU turn your Head.. and as I was turning away leaving.. I heard you which it stopped me.. MAH MAH.. YOU did Not recognize me who was at the Garden.. but.. YOU stopped me as YOU wanted to see the Letter.. My Heart.. it started to beat again.. this was the Only way.. this was the Only road and I turn around to face YOU.. and YOU stood there.. in the White Dress.. and I would give you the Letter which was written by the Older MAN who told me that I was ready.. and LOOKED at me.. and I pulled Out the Art Sketch paper which was behind Me.. and Unfolded.. Of course it is very different then because YOU were very young.. NOW.. such a beautiful Lady you have become.. and I showed YOU the Art sketch Paper.. the picture drawing of YOU and I asked you.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. DO you remember this and YOU looked at me.. and YOU knew who I was.. the Boy at the Garden.. who wanted to give you a Flower.. just to say.. YOU are so Beautiful.. that MAH MAH.. YOU are so lovely as this Flower.. and YOU told the guard to let me into the training Ground.. as the Gate opens and I would walk into
MAH MAH.. Never stopped Loving YOU because I know that STILL at this Moment.. I still Love YOU and Yes.. I will take orders.. your Commands seriously and help rebuild Your Forces.. make them into warriors who will Fight for YOU.. who will protect YOU and defend this Nation because.. the Day I was rejected was the Day I saw YOU and that DAY was when YOU let me In.. I just wanted to tell YOU.. Crown Princess.. thank YOU for giving me the Chance to be a soldier who can protect and defend YOU and this Nation.. as I grab the stick.. putting the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU on the ground.. I get UP.. and the Seven Men who are behind me.. they are all get UP.. Arms stretch forward and the Heads all lower to YOU.. I would grab the stick.. the Seven MEN stays behind.. and I would walk down by myself.. and I would stand.. as One YOUNG MEN recruit walks Out.. He has the Stick in his Hand.. and I would shout.. to see How well does this YOUNG MAN can fight.. and I would turn to LOOK at HIM.. I would remember.. when I was at the Older Man's House.. In the ROOM.. I would be sitting Alone.. Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. I would be looking at YOU through that.. I would be asking.. I would be saying.. MAH MAH.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. I am trying to leave this Place.. I am trying so hard to leave.. so that I can be with YOU.. be close to YOU.. but I feel like I can't.. looking at this Picture.. this drawing picture of YOU.. I keep on missing YOU.. I needs to be with YOU.. and I can hear the DOOR.. it opens behind me.. and the Loud thunder and it is raining Hard out side.. the Older Man.. the teacher.. grabs my Back shirt.. my both hands opens to release the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and I let it go.. I feel the Pull from the back and He yanks Me out of the room and I fall Out side.. I just can't believe I am out side sitting as I am getting hit by the rain.. it is pouring down On me because it is raining so Hard.. I stood and sitting.. crying because I am missing YOU.. I want to go where YOU are.. It is aching and Pain in me.. I want to be where YOU at.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. when can I see YOU and be close to YOU.. I needs to go to YOU.. and a stick falls to the ground next to Me.. I am Looking Up at the Moon.. the Seven Men are behind Me on Watch Guard.. the New Recruits are in the tents and they are all sleeping.. I would unroll the Paper.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. my hand runs over.. Looking at How Beautiful YOU are.. I have Never seen such a Great Beauty.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am getting the New Recruits.. the New Young Men.. So many people are waiting.. the Fences are blocking More New Recruits.. and I am Not sure where all these YOUNG MEN came from.. but.. Many wants to Join this Military Arts.. wants to join the Circle.. But it is YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. these are YOUR YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits who are.. and as I am Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I only saw you this Morning.. watching More YOUNG MEN.. the New RECRUITS.. By the Fences.. trying to get in.. but the Fences would Not let them Pass through.. as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. the training will start when the early Morning.. when the Sun comes UP.. I am going to prepare these YOUNG NEW RECRUITS.. they are going to come to this training Ground.. the Ones who passed the examinations and now.. ready to pick UP the WOODEN SWORD STICKS.. and I would be turning Back.. Looking at the Seven Men.. the friends of Mine.. and they all look at me with a SMILE.. and I turn to LOOK UP.. looking at the MOON.. Just thinking of YOU.. HOW far I came.. and How it is because I love YOU.. I never stopped Loving YOU and that is the Driving force behind of Never giving UP Hope.. it is because I love YOU.. I wish that WANGSEJABI MAH MAH knows this Heart of Mine.. that I would see.. A Messenger comes.. I hear the Horse running.. and the Horse stops.. the Messenger gets Down from the Horse and LOOKS at me and the Seven Men.. He shows me a Scroll.. and the Enemies are going to Come Back again.. and they want to fight again for this War.. it is Not Finished Yet.. and the Messenger tells me.. get the YOUNG MEN RECRUITS also ready for the war.. I watch the Messenger gets ON the Horse and He leaves out of sight.. as I am thinking about Another War.. I am Not sure if I will make this One alive.. But.. For YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. we Must Win for YOU.. so that YOU WILL BE our QUEEN.. and to make this Nation stronger and the People.. the New Recruits stronger to protect YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. DO YOU remember.. When I first came.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture.. as I am speaking looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture.. drawing picture of YOU.. and I would say to your Drawing Picture.. DO YOU NOT remember when I first came to the Training Ground.. I wanted to come.. I wanted to be the part of the Military Arts.. but My Heart.. I always believed that I will meet YOU one day SOON.. that I get to show YOU my Face.. I get to draw Near.. to get closer to YOU.. I remember it was in a Night like this.. and as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. I would go back to the Good Ole Days.. I am sitting in the ROOM.. with the Closet Friend.. I am looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. and I would smile.. I will see YOU soon.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please be Patient and wait.. I know that I be meeting you so SOON.. I lost my Father.. but there was a Older MAN who became Like a Father.. taught me the Arts of Swordsmanship.. and has told me.. it is TIME for me to enter the training Camp.. the Training Ground.. and Gave me a Letter.. with the Stamp.. I would be looking at the Letter.. and His Mark of stamp.. on the Other Hand is the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I can't believe this Teacher gave me this Stamp Letter.. which Allows me to go direct into the Training Ground.. and I know.. the Next day.. Many are going to enter the training Ground.. or the Camp which YOU MUST pass in the Camp to go into the Ground.. but This Letter.. with the Stamp.. for Many Years.. I have been waiting for this day to Come.. for Many Years.. I would be coming Out side.. and I would LOOK UP to the MOON.. and I would ask.. I will be there very SOON.. I know that the distance between YOU and I seems a LONG WAY.. but I believe.. I know.. why.. because I know my Heart.. My Heart which Loves YOU.. I have Never stopped thinking of YOU.. I have never stopped Loving YOU.. YOU may Not know It.. when YOU LOOK at the distance between YOU and the MOON.. it is very Far to touch that MOON.. but I know.. Because I love YOU.. it does Not seems so Far any more.. as Long as I believe and I know.. I will be seeing YOU SOON.. I will be meeting YOU so SOON.. and I would look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. the Closest friend would look at me.. but I never get tired of LOOKING at YOU.. even though the Drawing was when YOU were much more Younger Years.. I do remember that with out YOU.. I know that I can't dream of coming this Close.. dreaming of getting close to YOU but I never stopped dreaming of Us.. of We.. that One Day.. I will see you and meet YOU.. I be close to YOU that I am able to speak and tell YOU.. I love YOU.. as the Next Day Comes.. me and the Closest Friend are standing in the Line.. the Line is so Long.. too many Young Men.. waiting in the Line to either go into the Camp or to the Ground.. and My Heart is beating.. It is beating so fast because I know that I am getting Close to YOU.. I see about one Hundred Young men standing.. waiting for their Time to enter.. I am so excited.. but also.. My Heart keeps on beating just too Fast.. I would be holding the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I would be looking at YOU.. YOU do Not understand How Long I waited.. I had to count for many Days.. Many Weeks and Many Years.. and was Not sure at First.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. I am here on the Line.. I am right Close.. and I just can't believe that I had to wait this Long just to stand Even in this Line.. but also.. this Letter is the way I can see YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. few days Ago.. even just the few days ago.. I felt like I was very far.. that I wanted to say.. Maybe I am thinking just too Hard.. or Just the dream is Non Sense.. WHO is going to believe me that I can get close to YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would be staying with the Older Man.. who was my teacher.. I was living with Him for awhile.. in the WOODS.. where there was nothing to DO.. NO dreams to think about.. Just be chopping down woods.. and getting the water in a bucket.. doing a lot of chores for this Older MAN.. who was a teacher.. Like a Father Figure to Me.. I would be walking Out side.. In the Night.. I would stand Out side.. LOOKING UP.. looking at the MOON and I would ask.. after looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. am I NOT allowed to dream.. Can a fellow Like me dreams TOO.. because maybe I am Not suppose to dream anything.. living as a Slave Boy.. But I do Have a Dreams.. and I would look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU and I would say to YOU in the Picture.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. why can't some one like me dream.. will YOU laugh and Mock at me if I tell YOU these dreams I have.. and It is ALL About getting closer and to tell YOU that I love YOU.. why can't I even share this Dream to YOU.. WILL you allow me to share it what I have IN my Heart
MAH MAH.. Nation.. I just could Not believe It.. How was it that I was able to look at this Picture drawing of YOU.. if a Peasant.. or a SON of a SLAVE looks.. He can be arrested and be put to death.. I was told.. but I just did Not care at all.. I mean my Heart.. it must be broken to act this way.. I just knew when I saw the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I am a Dean person any ways.. and I only live Once.. but Loving YOU.. and just missing YOU.. How is it my fault.. WHY would you blame someone who Loves YOU just because I just do.. the other Boy let me have this Picture.. the drawing of YOU.. and ever since I had it in my hands.. I would never let this drawing picture go.. because I just Love YOU.. I would be waiting in the Line.. with the Closest friend.. but the Line would Not Move.. Just too many Young Men has all shown UP for this Once a Year event.. and I know If I don't make it this Year.. I know I have to wait Next year.. but this Letter is only for this Year usage.. so I would wait and wait.. even though the Line would Not Move.. few days ago living with the Old Teacher.. I would be cleaning.. and the Old Teacher asked me to come Closer.. and I just could Not believe what He wanted to show Me.. and Showed Me.. the Letter.. when the Old Teacher gave me His Letter to me.. I would sit in the ROOM and I would cry.. alone I kept ON crying because.. I always dreamed of Getting close to YOU.. it felt like I would never see YOU again.. ever since in the Garden.. so many Years has passed since the last time.. the Old memories of YOU.. but I would revisit the Old Memories because I missed YOU.. when the Old Teacher called me to come into His room.. and gave me the Letter.. I would be looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU and I would tell Your Picture.. what if the Old teacher never gave me the Letter.. I wonder what would happen.. I would be still living with HIM and be His Slave instead.. I would take a LOOK at the Art sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU and say.. I never stopped dreaming.. the Old teacher also knows that I have the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. I am always taking it with me.. wherever I go.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU comes with me.. when there are Hard days.. when I be struggling.. Or just missing YOU.. I would pull and unroll the Paper.. and I would look at the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and I would say.. I want to see YOU SOON.. I want to be close to YOU SOON.. but I would say this and believe it.. but it seems like It is never going to happen to me.. but I want to get close.. My Heart wants to tell YOU that I love YOU.. when can I tell YOU these words of Mine to YOU.. but it seems like it is so Far.. Just like when I come Out side.. and LOOKING up to the MOON.. it is so far for my hands to touch that MOON.. the long distance.. which it is IMPOSSIBLE for me.. when will that day be when I can see YOU and be close to YOU.. when my arms can hold YOU near and I am able to say.. how much I love YOU.. but.. when the Letter came.. and the Old Teacher tells me.. when He stamps on the End.. That I am going direct to the Ground.. Not the camp site.. and I saw the Stamp He put.. I would cry in the ROOM.. just could Not believe It.. that HE is letting me get close to YOU.. without this Stamp and this Letter.. I would be still waiting.. and Only LOOKING at the MOON wishing every night.. but feeling that distance that IT is Never going to happen.. but when the Stamp was set.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would run Out side.. and I turn to LOOK at the Moon.. holding the Stamp Letter in my Hand and I would be waving the Letter.. telling that MOON.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Just Wait.. I am coming.. I am going to get close to YOU.. I am going to be there very SOON.. I know that One day soon.. I will tell YOU how much I love YOU because I know that I do.. I never stopped believing that I will love YOU and I can say it to YOU SOON.. as I am standing in the Line.. with the Closest friend.. I begin to see the Men moving forward.. and yes.. Finally I get to enter the Ground.. I will see you soon Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I will see you soon.. because I love YOU..I am with the Seven Friends of Mine.. in the training Camp.. as I am looking at these New Recruits.. More young men are flocking.. filling up the training Camp.. as I watch more then One Hundred new young Men and More Men are waiting by the fences.. wanting to Join in the Military Arts.. I just can't Believe what is going On.. these are Your New men HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. these are new Recruits who wants to Fight For YOU.. and On your Behalf ready to Die for this Nation.. and They are Not afraid of the War.. I am holding the Wooden Sword Stick.. with the Seven Men behind Me.. and they are ready to Train these Young Men.. and I am looking at more than One Hundred Young Men of recruits.. and I can feel the tears in my eyes.. I remember I was One of those Men.. I am Looking over and around.. and My Hand touches the Chest.. I remember I was standing in the way Back.. I saw YOU at the training Camp.. with the Chief Generals and the Commanders.. with the Trainers of the Art of Swordsmanship.. I saw YOU sitting on the Chair.. and YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. who was looking saw me at the end.. and YOU stood UP and noticed Me.. I was way in the Back with the Number On the Back of the armor.. I just could not believe that YOU would let me come to the front.. and to see my Face.. I would walk up from being way behind.. More than One Hundred men because I was the 100th men.. the Number was written.. as I walked to the Front.. I saw YOU after a Long Time.. I wanted to say something to YOU WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. but CROWN PRINCESS.. what words would I say to YOU at that time.. I had to prove myself which I can be a Part of the Member to Fight.. as I saw YOU stand there.. YOU also holding a Wooden Sword stick.. and told me.. and I had to come before YOU.. and With the WOODEN SWORD.. YOU wanted to challenge Me.. But I just could Not fight YOU.. instead.. I let YOU Hurt Me.. I placed the WOODEN SWORD DOWN.. and Yes.. I just could Not hit.. as YOU would strike me with the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. and I fell to the ground after getting Hit several times.. I saw YOU stand there with NO WORDS.. and I saw YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. walk away.. and told.. One of the men.. the Chief General YOU knew to Challenge Me.. I would stand UP.. and YOU stood with the Other Chief Generals and the Commanders.. with the TOP GENRALS on the Side.. I held and grab the WOODEN STICK.. and the Chief General.. He grabbed and we were facing each Other.. I knew that If I could Not beat HIM.. I would Not be able to get It as the Palace Guard.. as I stood here with the Seven Men.. who is behind Me.. I am standing here in tears.. I just could Not believe that I am here today.. For your Kingdom.. and For your Nation.. and YOU gave me the Command to Teach and to train the New Young Men.. the New Recruits.. How is it that I can do this.. I just could Not.. as I watch the Faces of these New Young Men.. and they are all in the single line.. standing side to side.. and as I turn to look.. I see YOU sitting ON the Horse.. with the White Dress and the Big Crown on top of the Head.. as the Seven men with men.. we would all turn to Give YOU the attention.. and I would be on the two knees.. arm forward and head looking at the Ground.. the Seven men also gets down on two knees.. arms forward and heads looking on the ground.. and the New Recruits all turns too look.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. It is the WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and all the new Recruits all gets down on two knees.. arms out forward Heads all look on the Ground.. and I shouted to YOU.. CHOONG CHOONG CHOONG and the Voices of more than one hundred men all shouts to YOU the Crown Princess.. CHOONG CHOONG CHOONG.. as the WOODEN STICK HITS the ground.. and I would close Both eyes.. and going to the Meeting of the council.. the Meeting Board.. YOU.. the crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. sitting on the King's Chair.. on the Right Side.. from the eldest to the youngest.. Six Princes were standing.. the Prime Minister.. and the 12 council of noble Men.. from the eldest down.. and on the Left side is the Chief Commander.. to Commanders.. Chief Generals to TOP General.. 2nd General to the 3rd General.. as I am on the two Knees.. my arms out forward.. my Head looking on the Ground.. with the Seven Men who are my Friends in the same Position.. as the Messenger of the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. He is reading from the Scroll of what YOU have written.. and Now.. YOU are telling me that I am Not the palace Guard any More.. that Now.. I am a Special Guard for the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and also shared that I am now the trainer for the New Recruits with the Seven Men who are with me.. as I lifted UP my Head.. what is this MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. why are you promoting Me.. I rather be the Palace Guard but Now.. YOU are telling me that I can be the special Guard.. who is to protect YOU.. I always wanted to protect YOU but even as the palace guard I can.. YOU do not have to promote me for anything.. as Long as I can protect you with the Sword.. the Only One sword I can.. and Now.. YOU are also giving me a chance to teach.. to share.. even though I may not be that GOOD.. why are you being so good to Me.. I know I can't do much.. but also.. for this CHANCE of a Life time.. I just wanted to thank YOU from my Heart.. and I can hear.. the men behind me starts to cry
MAH MAH.. Came across and I saw YOU.. I only felt something in my Heart.. I only wanted you to KNOW.. can I show you something that I felt in my soul.. that I felt in my Heart.. How am I suppose to show YOU something that is Unseen.. YOU can't see love.. YOU can't even know what Love is unless YOU learn.. and start learning HOW TO LOVE.. I began with the Art Sketch Paper.. I started when I saw a Boy.. He was running.. and He fell on the Floor.. and out of his hand the Art sketch paper came off and I was walking with my Father.. he was telling me He had to go to the Meeting Board.. the COUNCIL OF BOARD MEETING.. I stopped and I looked on the Ground.. an art Sketch Paper was near at my feet.. I went on the ground and I saw a Face.. it was a drawing and my two hands grabbed unto and I looked at the Picture of YOU.. Crown Princess.. and My Father who was standing next to Me saw the same Picture.. he tells me it is the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I looked at it.. How did it come to my hands.. How did this Picture.. this ART SKETCH PAPER.. the Drawing of YOU.. and I looked at it.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. and the Boy gets UP and looks at me.. telling me He drew it.. and that I can have it just like that.. ever since I saw this Picture.. my eyes were glued to this Picture.. YOU took my Breathe away what I first saw this Picture.. I just could Not breathe.. I could Not inhale or exhale.. HOW COULD I.. and Now.. I am here.. I am here looking at YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I told myself.. I am going to Meet YOU.. I am going to Fight for YOU and WILL PROTECT YOU.. and I will be by your side and Just wanted to say that I love YOU.. as I am looking at YOU who is sitting on the Horse.. and YOU are looking at the center of the training camp.. and I see you looking at me and the Seven Men behind Me.. and I do remember at the Meeting Board.. YOU gave the Command to make these My Soldiers.. to Make them into fighting warriors who will fight and to protect the Nation.. and gave me the COMMAND that I am also the Special GUARD for the CROWN PRINCESS.. and as I am watching the SUN SETTING.. and I see YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. turning the Horse away from the Fence.. I would Raise UP my Voice and would SHOUT.. MANSAE to the CROWN PRINCESS.. I hear the voices of all of the Men in the training Camp.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would be loud and clear.. raising UP the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. MANSAE to CROWN PRINCESS.. all of the MEN in one Voice Shouts.. MANSAE TO WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. as I am looking at the Horse walking off while YOU are sitting on the Horse.. I go back to the War.. watching YOU on the Horse.. I see you pull the Sword Out of the Sheath.. and Your Arm moves Down.. blade striking down one enemy at a Time.. the battle is so fierce.. and I see More of the enemies.. LOOKING and Pointing the Swords at YOU.. Crown Princess.. and I turn to LOOK back.. as I am swinging the Sword.. and I look at the Seven men who is with me.. telling Them.. the ENEMIES are charging.. they are going after the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGJABI MAH MAH.. GO and protect.. and I see the Seven Men.. running towards YOU on the Horse.. as YOU are sitting on the Horse striking down One enemy.. but the ENEMIES starts to gather.. More and they rush at YOU.. and I turn to LOOK back.. and I start to RUN TOWARDS you.. and Me and the Seven Men makes a Circle around YOU.. and with are Backs we would lean on the Horse to PUSH it back.. More of YOUR MEN comes out of the fortress to JOIN and they gather around YOU MAKING MORE bigger circles and Pushes with the backs on the Horse so that It can go into the FORTRESS.. and I see and I jump forward.. with the Sword I strike and I swing.. going forward as More ENEMIES are approaching.. Blades are hitting Other.. and YOU go in safely.. as I am on two Knees and arms out forward and Head looking on the ground.. I see YOU and the Horse disappear.. HWAANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have done so well.. I just wanted to say Thank YOU.. the DAY I first entered the Training camp.. the DAY YOU saw me in the way of the back of the Line.. I was waiting for the number and the Name to be called.. I watched for days sitting on the way Back on the Line.. I would wait.. as the detour happens.. I had to leave without my Number and my Name being called.. wondering will I even enter this Camp.. for the few days I was sitting back of the Line.. I did Not see YOU sitting with the CHIEF GENERALS and the COMMANDERS.. it was like the 5th day.. when YOU came to sit on the Chair to Judge the new Recruits.. I was just waiting.. until YOU saw me.. and YOU recognized me at the way in the Back.. It was YOU HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it was YOU who gave me this One Shot.. this One Chance.. I could of waited and just gone back HOME without ever entering.. but the day I saw YOU.. I saw Your eyes looking at ME and YOU recognized Me.. I just could Not believe that YOU would recognize me even though it has been so Long ago I met YOU.. when I was very YOUNG.. but Many years went down the Line.. and of course people changes.. But YOU recognized Me when YOU first took that glance looking at me sitting alone in the back.. but able to give me this One Shot.. I wanted to say thank YOU.. if YOU did Not recognized me.. I would of never made it to the camp.. and I would be shouting.. CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. HOORAY TO the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. and I would be crying as I am LOOKING at the MOON staring down at Me into the Night.. I am standing Out of the Gates of the Fortress.. the Seven Men.. the Friends are all behind Me.. and I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. sitting On the Horse.. All the Chief Generals and the Commanders.. More Foot soldiers are walking Out of the Fortress gates.. the Six Princes are inside.. Soldiers pushing the Big Canons.. and Men sitting on the Horses.. with Bows and Arrows.. I turn to Look at YOU.. and I am on the foot.. I see YOU raise UP the Bow.. and Other side are the Enemies lined UP.. generals On the Horses.. I see YOU grabbing the Two Arrows.. Putting on the End of the strings of the BOW And pulling it back.. I turn.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please wait.. Please CONSIDER.. and I see you turn YOUR head and looks at me.. and YOU look forward.. and the aiming the Arrows and hand let goes and It shoots Out and fires.. I can't believe it.. I just can't and I see the two Arrows and It hits two enemy soldiers and they both Die.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. the Chief general ON top of the tower raises UP his Right hand with the Sword and Blows the Horn.. Arrows shoots fires and I can see it UP in the air.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please.. consider.. and I pull out the Sword.. looking at the Blade.. and the Seven Men behind Me all pulls Out their swords.. For HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Let us Fight and Protect.. and I see the enemies soldiers running.. and I would start to run with the Seven Men.. and the Two sides clashes.. I am swinging the Sword.. just thinking about YOU.. I can't let YOU down.. Let us fight and Protect the CROWN PRINCESS.. it is for YOU.. and I am swinging the sword.. the blades hits each Other.. and I see one enemy soldier.. He looks at me.. and I jump UP and swing the Sword and goes across his Neck.. My seven Friends are surrounding and they are all close to Me.. as I hear them shout OUT.. and I turn to look back.. I see Arrows flying Out.. More arrows flying across.. I see two Large Canon Balls with Fire falling from the Sky.. killing Many Enemies who are running across.. I see YOU on the Horse.. MAH MAH.. It is HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I look at three of the closest friends.. My sword points Back.. Protect the Crown Princess.. Please go and be close to you.. and the three friends looks at me.. and they turn to go back to YOU.. and I just can't.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I can't focus when YOU are Out here.. I can't even fight right.. I asked YOU to consider.. It is so dangerous OUT here.. LOOK at this raging war.. and I turn to LOOK back.. I see One enemy running at me.. with the Sword I would jump and move back.. I swing the Sword and it hits the blades.. and I move forward and Bash into him.. and I jump swing the Sword and it strikes him down.. I turn to the Left.. to the right.. so many Men fighting.. I see many enemies are falling by the sword.. I just can't go ahead.. I turn to look back.. I see YOU still on the Horse.. with the Armor and Sword.. and YOU are swinging as riding on the Horse.. I see More men running towards you.. I grab the Sword and I run after.. I can't let Them go attack.. I need YOU to RULE.. I need YOU to be the Next On the Line.. I would RUN and RUN.. I can see the backs.. I would start to swing the sword.. and Hitting One Back to the Next.. to the three and four Men falls by the Sword.. and I would say.. Protect the Crown Princess.. I am yelling Out Loud.. and Screaming Out Loud.. Protect the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and More of the Men turns.. and LOOKS at YOU on the Horse.. as YOU are swinging your sword looking down.. as all of the Seven of my friends.. and I would surround making a circle.. as One Enemy approaches I would jump forward and swing the sword and He swings back.. blades hitting each Other.. the Chief Generals are raising the swords.. telling the Men to Protect YOU.. More men would surround YOU
MAH MAH.. With the Sword in my Hand.. and we have WON the battle Again.. and I can feel the tears.. I am in so much joy.. the soldiers.. we have WON.. and I raise UP the Sword.. MAN SAE to Crown Princess.. the Seven Men behind Me.. wiping the tears with me.. they raise the swords with right HANDS.. MANSAE to Crown Princess.. and I raise it up the sword and SHOUT.. MANSAE to HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and the Seven MEN raises the sword with right Hands.. MANSAE to WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MAH MAH.. we have WON.. and I turn around.. and the seven Men turns to look at the Gates of the Fortress.. I see YOU coming out of the Gates.. Your RIGHT HAND.. holding the Sword.. and I just can't believe my eyes.. as YOU are on the Horse.. I see More Horses.. the six Princes has joined the Battle to help YOU to WIN this War.. the Chief generals and Commanders.. they all line UP.. as YOU raise UP the Sword.. the MEN all shout.. MANSAE to CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE TO CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE TO WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would run UP.. and two Knee on the ground.. with the arm up and Head looking down.. the Seven men runs UP.. two knees down.. heads looking on the ground.. arms UP and all of the MEN.. COMMANDERS.. CHIEF GENERALS.. GENERALS.. Soldiers.. all fall on two Knees.. Heads all looking down and arms UP.. saluting the Crown Princess.. and I just can't believe.. we have won this Battle.. but we have WON for the Crown Princess.. these are ALL of YOUR MEN who has joined hands and Joined the forces.. uniting to Fight for this Nation so that YOU can stand Strong.. as I am looking on the ground.. I would close both eyes.. going back when I was young.. I would be crying.. I turn to LOOK at the Target.. I would walk to the Target.. looking at the Red DOT.. I am looking at the arrows.. It hit right on the DOT.. SO many tries and I have failed.. I even wanted to give UP.. because I kept on trying to shoot for the red DOT.. but the Arrows would fly in so many Odd directions.. I was going to shoot for the last time and maybe give UP.. the swordsmanship may not be for Me.. and I would stand alone.. LOOKING at the Art sketch Paper.. LOOKING at the Picture of YOU.. I would hold both hands and My lips touch Your Lip of the paper picture.. and I would Place the Art sketch Paper on the Ground.. and I would say MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. If this Arrow does NOT hit the red Dot.. right IN the Middle of the spot of this target.. I may end UP not going to become this warrior.. but to fold my dreams for Good.. I would grab the Bow.. pulling the strings of the Bow.. I may have to bury my dreams forever.. Always wanted to be by Your Side.. to Protect YOU.. to serve YOU and to be a part of Your Life.. but If I can't even hit the target right.. what good is it for trying.. I would hold the BOW in front of me.. grabbing the Arrow on the Ground.. LOOKING straight down at the target.. I would put the end of the ARROW and PULL it back with the strings of the BOW.. and I am aiming.. I feel the tears falling from my eyes.. I always wanted to be by your side.. even though YOU may Not love Me.. I am Not asking YOU to love Me.. because it does NOT matter for Me.. as Long as I KNOW that I love YOU.. just to stay and be close to YOU.. your presence means everything to me.. that is what Love does when YOU love.. and I would let my hand go.. the Arrow shoots and Flies across and it hits something.. I grab another Arrow.. putting at the end of the Strings of the BOW and pulls the strings back and I am aiming the arrow.. I can't let my Dreams go.. because I need YOU close.. I need YOU here with me.. YOU know that I love YOU that is why I can't ever give UP and My hand lets go and when my hand lets go of the strings of the Bow.. the arrow shoots Out the second time.. and I hear it hit something.. I am Not sure if it hit the target Or not.. I would drop the Bow on the Ground.. and I look on the ground.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the picture drawing of YOU.. and I would hold with both hands and I am walking looking at YOU through this Picture.. DO I have to let my Dreams Go.. dreams of letting YOU go.. and as I walk and stop by the Target.. I lifted UP my Head to look at the Target.. I just couldn't believe It.. I see two Arrows Hit right ON the red Dot.. and as I am looking at both arrows.. My tears.. I feel my tears running down both cheeks and I would cry Loud.. I can't believe it.. after trying so many Months.. Many nights.. broken nights.. thousands of arrows would fly.. Never heard it hit anything.. passing by this target many times.. But Now.. finally.. as I lift UP both hands.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the picture drawing of YOU.. I would say.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. I wish that YOU were here with Me.. what YOU could see.. I can't believe It.. ON this very night.. I was ready to fold My Dreams.. I was ready to give UP my Dreams on trying to be the swordsmanship for YOU.. so that I can go TO you.. to Protect YOU.. to fight the battles for YOU.. so that YOU do NOT have to enter any Battlefields.. to protect with this Sword.. with this Bow and Arrow.. to show you how much I love YOU and will Fight for YOUR NATION.. even if I die in the Battlefield.. YOU will know that I will Never stop Loving YOU.. as I am looking at the two arrows.. I did Not expect it to Hit the target.. I had a feeling that I would fail again and this time it is for good.. that maybe it is NOT right for me to ever see YOU.. live a life like a MONK instead.. But I gave this One Last try.. Knowing I will fail.. but I had to try one more time before I bury it in my heart and to never look back.. LOOKING at this Picture of YOU.. this Art Sketch Paper.. I knew.. this is it.. the last chance I can go.. the last chance I can try.. even told my father.. If He can make two last arrows for me.. if I can't hit the target that I am giving UP my Dreams of Swordsmanship.. He was behind me as I would shoot the last two arrows.. He started to cry.. when he walked to see me.. my both hand grabbing HOLD onto the end of the Arrows and it hit the target on the red DOT.. I have never seen such a MAN cry but He cried with me.. telling me.. MY DREAMS will come True.. that ONE DAY I will see the Crown Princess.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. that as LONG as I KEEP ON trying.. I can see YOU one day.. and HE cried Loud with me.. we both wept bitterly because I love YOU so Much and HE KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.. as I am looking on the ground.. I am here.. Just can't believe this second war.. and once again WE have won.. and YOU are here.. CROWN PRINCESS IS here this TIME.. YOU have see US fight and WON this war together.. I have dreamed for this DAY TO HAPPEN..I see you Point the sword at ME.. telling me to speak.. SO I lift UP my head and I look UP.. and the Other hand goes Back and I pull out the Ark Sketch Paper.. and If may I.. and I see you point the sword again.. Both hands grabs the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and I would say.. I kept this For a Long Time.. I was ready to give UP my dreams of the Art of swordsmanship.. I remember the Night that was the last.. I saw the Art sketch paper it was on the ground.. I would lower to Pick it UP and I saw this Picture.. it is YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I wanted to be Close to YOU.. even though I was far Off.. that I was living so far and I knew that I just could not go IN like this.. to prove that I can be a soldier who can Protect.. to be a warrior who fights.. I knew I had to do something.. I was about to give UP on that dreams.. I saw this Art Sketch paper.. I took hold of it with Both Hands.. and I would KISS the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. before I let it go.. before I give UP my dreams.. to become a MONK instead.. I saw it.. I saw YOU.. and I would say.. the last two Arrows is all I need.. is all it is going to tell Me.. but when I saw the Art sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. in my Heart.. I wanted to be close to YOU.. I did not want to let It ever go.. and I cried that night because if I failed.. I will let it go and bury it forever in my heart.. and never look back.. the two Arrows is all I needed to see and I saw It hit something.. on the red DOT.. my father cried with Me.. and He told me this.. that I will see YOU.. that I will be close to YOU and will fight on the Battles for Your Behalf.. for the Nation and for Your People.. I am here right Now.. and we have WON together.. but all it took is looking at this Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I came here because I knew.. But I am here because I love YOU..I felt so Lonely at One Point.. at the Lowest of My Life and It was Only YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. It was Only YOU.. I cried when I saw YOU gone.. I remember watching YOU leave.. Sitting on the Horse.. I kept on calling Out to YOU.. But it was one of the Servants who took Me.. and Told me that I just could Not go.. I was reaching Out both arms.. shouting Out.. as the Horse was leaving.. in the Garden I felt so Alone.. crying in the dark.. I just could Not believe that YOU were gone.. I stood alone.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. I just could Not stop.. But kept calling Out to YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I would watch the Moon come UP before Me.. and I would shout with the Loud Voice.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am going to YOU.. very soon I will go to YOU.. when I heard the News.. and MY father died.. and came to the Garden.. I saw His body and with the servants.. We would bury my father.. I just could Not take this kind of Pain any More.. as I sat that night
Oink Oink.. I am looking at the paper.. the drawing of a Heart.. and I am standing by this Tall tree.. is this the Right Tree.. can YOU please tell me if I am standing at the right Place.. I see about twelve more Trees behind and All around this Park.. WHY are you telling me to come to this Park without telling me Which Tree to go too.. Is it because I have delayed my Coming.. DO I needs to tell YOU that I am so Sorry.. I am so sorry for Not coming to the appointed Time.. I did Not expect the changing of the weather.. Of course I did have that chance.. the day when It started to rain.. it was the Light rain at first.. then I heard the thunder and saw the flashing of lightening across the Sky.. I know that I should of come.. But when I saw the rain.. and it started to rain down Hard.. I was Not sure if Your Heart.. would YOU of still Put your Heart Up on the Tree Branch.. I want to Know.. I want to know because what if I came.. but.. I did Not see the Heart UP on the Tree Branch.. YOU know How much I wanted to see Your Heart.. but I was Not sure if YOU would of came.. Not saying that I don't trust Your Words but the condition that has taken place.. the situation that was causing to change the direction.. I still would of come.. but.. I had to truly wait.. truly had to delay the Time.. I wanted to say I am so Sorry that I could Not make it on time.. NOW I am paying the price of not coming.. as I am Looking.. I am standing.. which Tree.. is it the Second Tree.. Is it the Third Tree.. am I suppose to walk down to every Tree.. and to LOOK UP at every thirteen Trees that is standing around.. as I am holding the Paper.. I drew a Heart Shape.. Not sure How Big of the Heart it suppose to be but I drew the Heart.. Your Heart very Big on this Sheet of Paper.. I did Not find Your Heart on a Tree Branch on the First Tree.. as I would stop.. standing next to this Big Tree.. I would stand.. holding the Piece of paper.. it is a Drawing of Your Heart.. I want to show YOU.. I want to see if the Drawing on this Piece of Paper matches the Shape and the Size of Your Heart.. I want to show Your Heart.. and compare does it comes very close to your Heart.. I needs to know.. I needs to Know truly.. can YOU Please.. as I am looking at the First tree.. I would show this Tree.. the Piece of paper.. Am I suppose to talk to this Tree.. Maybe this Tree Knows.. maybe this Tree will answer and tell me if YOU put your Heart.. I have One picture.. the Picture of YOU.. and on the Other Hand is the Piece of paper.. the drawing of the Shape and the Big Size of Your Heart.. and I will say.. Please tell Me.. Please Help Me.. and as I am looking at this Big Tree.. the first Tree at this Park.. I know that YOU probably will not speak back to Me.. or tell me anything.. But I wanted to show YOU and ask YOU.. as I would turn the Picture and to show this Tree Your Beautiful Picture of Your Face.. I am Lost.. and I have not come at the Appointed time and had to delay the Time of the coming.. I even asked to forgive Me.. I wanted to say Sorry for Not coming on time.. But.. I did still come even though it was suppose to be few weeks back.. the weather was Not on my side.. it was Not helping me with the time of appointed me to come.. so I had to delay the time to today.. SO I am wondering.. DO YOU know the One who I love.. I know that YOU told me YOU Have left the Heart here.. the Heart.. and I would show this First tree.. the Piece of Paper of the drawing of the Heart.. showing the Shape and the Size of the Heart.. and also showing Your Picture to this Tree.. the first tree.. as I would wait in silent.. I wanted to hear an answer.. But it seems Like this Tree is Not going to answer me.. I feel like maybe this First tree Never saw YOU here at the Park.. or Not see your Heart.. I would Look UP.. looking at the branches.. to the One at the Top of the Branches and I do Not see the Heart.. Your Heart.. I would see people walking and they would pass by.. I see a Man walking By.. and I would stop the Man.. and He turns to face Me.. I would show the Man the Picture of YOU.. and I would ask.. DID YOU ever saw YOU before.. the Man looks at me and smiles.. and I say.. SO you do know who YOU are.. and I asked HIM.. and show him the Piece of paper and it is the drawing of Your Heart.. the Shape and the Size of Your Heart.. the Man looks at a Tree.. and He knows where YOUR Heart is at.. and On the Third Tree.. ON the top of the Branch is a Heart.. and I thanked this Man because He knows where YOUR HEART is at.. the Man goes ON his Way.. and I just can't believe It.. so it was Me who delayed.. if I knew at that TIME.. I should of come but YOU have come at the appointed time.. as I would walk leaving the First Big Tree.. I would pass by the Second Big Tree and I would walk.. Looking at the Third Big Tree.. I am Not sure why would YOU put and I would stop next to the Third Tree.. why.. and as I would compare the height.. I see WHY.. the third Tree is the Biggest Tree and the tallest tree from the twelve Other trees around.. and as I stand next to the Third Big Tree.. I Look UP.. looking at every tree branches to the TOP of.. and I see Your Heart.. I have never seen such a Big Heart.. it is so Big.. the size and the shape.. there is NO match to compete of the Size of Your Heart.. because it is SO BIG as it is.. HOW did that Heart get way UP there.. and what am I suppose to do.. as I am looking at the Piece of Paper.. the drawing of.. looking at the shape and the Size.. I know that I can't even draw at all.. I want to know.. How did YOUR BIG HEART reach UP way UP there.. and It is Not going to fall on the ground.. It seems like the branches are unable to HOLD because the SIZE is SO BIG.. YOUR HEART is so Big.. as I turn.. I am looking at the Third tree.. I would say.. I know that I am so Small.. and Yes.. many times I can feel so weak.. but I know that what I want and what I need is that Big Heart.. I know that YOU are Not here.. that is why I have chose to LOOK at this third Tree.. and If YOU can Hear me.. I can only speak to this Third Tree.. even though I want to tell YOU my Heart.. When you compare the size of Your Heart.. I want my Heart to be as Big as YOUR HEART.. so that I can tell YOU that I love YOU.. Only if the Shape and the Size of My Heart can grow.. and can expand as Big as Your Heart.. can I tell YOU then that I love YOU.. I need to say It to YOU.. I want to say it to YOU.. telling YOU that Course of time.. My Heart.. it was able to reach its height as Big as Your Heart.. if two Hearts are the right Size and Shape.. I know that I can Love you as Much as I can.. but it needs to grow and expand its reach Like Your Heart.. If my Heart is so Small.. How can I love your Big Size Heart.. Please.. tell me How can My Heart be as Big as Your Heart.. If My Heart can be big as Your Heart.. I know that I am able to float into the air.. and as I can be lifted UP.. I can Open my Arms wide.. and grab.. and PULL your Heart closer to my Heart.. TO my Chest and Let Your Heart hear my Heart crying inside because finally Our Hearts can meet each Other.. for the first time in a long time I can really let my tears fly Out of my eyes because I can say Finally I can tell Your Heart.. How much I love YOU.. How much I missed YOU.. able to share and tell Your Heart.. I have missed YOU so Much but also been loving YOU so much.. waiting over and over.. letting the time pass by.. but even when the TIME kept on going.. I have Never stopped loving YOU.. I have never stopped missing YOU.. always thinking of YOU.. thinking of when can I see YOU so that I can tell Your Heart.. I love YOU.. holding Your Big Heart into my Arms.. I would kiss your Heart.. your BIG HEART and say.. I can't breathe.. ready to exhale.. when I kiss Your Big Heart.. I can inhale.. when I exhale I will say.. can YOU Hear my Heart Beat.. wants to follow the Beating of Your Heart.. let our Hearts beat together and can make sound and music inside.. but I need YOUR Heart.. I first am asking for Your Heart.. so that I can tell YOU what My Heart truly feels inside when I am close to YOU and close to YOUR HEART.. able to let it ALL OUT and I would again.. Kiss your Heart and whisper to Your Heart.. I love YOU.. I wanted to say and tell YOU.. by telling YOUR Heart.. I have been longing for this day to Come.. I wanted this day to come sooner but it seems like the TIME is Not on my side right Now.. NO matter How many times I would say.. I would write and to tell YOU.. I wanted to say it a lot sooner.. waiting part can be very Hard.. can be difficult when YOU are unsure about the situation or about the TIME.. will it ever come.. WILL I ever able to tell YOUR HEART that I love YOU.. but.. as I am looking at this Big Tree.. the Third Tree in this Park.. when the rain came the first Night.. the SNOW started to fall on the second Night.. through the winter storm I saw.. nothing but SNOW was Out.. staying inside the House.. felt like I was locked.. because I knew that I had to go to see Your Heart.. it was killing me while waiting.. it was killing me because even I started to think about.. what if YOU did COME.. and YOU have placed Your Heart on the TOP of the Branch.. and What if You will take Your Heart away so that I cannot see Your Big Heart any more.. there was One Part.. maybe YOU did Not come.. but another side of me told Me.. I know that YOU will keep your Part.. You will keep your Promises which when I asked the MAN who was passing By.. He told me He saw YOU coming.. You were Holding Your Heart.. Your Arms around Your Big Heart.. and as He stood there watching YOU.. it started to rain.. YOU would start to climb UP on the Third Tree.. with Your Big Heart On your Back.. and saw Your BIG HEART crying as YOUR arms and hands let go climbing back down ON the Big Tree.. the MAN looks UP
Park.. that It was located on the Third BIG TREE.. I would be walking with tears in my eyes.. because I knew that I should of Came before.. that I should of come on the appointed time that YOU TOLD ME to come.. I could of saw YOU.. if I saw YOU.. I would of grabbed unto Your Arms.. and pull YOU closer into my arms because I would say.. I love YOU.. I would say to YOU.. if I came that day.. the appointed time that YOU gave me the Note to come.. I would asked YOU.. it is very dangerous to climb up.. when the rain comes Hard.. things can happen where YOU would Not believe but.. that Courage and being so brave.. I just wanted to say.. I am so sorry that I did Not come that day.. But.. I now see why YOU have a Big Heart.. such a Big Heart that I want My Heart to be as big as YOURS.. so that I can tell YOU in many words.. how much I love YOU.. and to tell YOU how much I been missing YOU lately.. that I know deep inside.. I need YOU.. I need YOU to need me too.. I need to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I need to say to that Heart.. Your Big Heart.. that I love you.. and I am so sorry that I love YOU and I thank YOU.. thank you for being YOU and also having that Big Heart.. NOW I know how much My Heart needs to grow.. so when My Heart starts to grow as BIG as YOURS.. I can finally say.. holding YOUR BIG HEART.. I love YOU and kiss Your Big Heart and tell Your Heart over and over.. this is why.. I love YOU.. that is why I need YOU so that I can continue to say to YOU that I love YOU.. Feels like the Spring time.. as I am holding the Empty Glass Jar.. around my arms.. I am thinking of Your Heart.. I know that I am missing your Heart.. I want to see your Heart.. WILL you let me see that Heart of Yours.. and I am walking and I stop by this Tall Tree.. and I am wondering if it is this Tree.. I been waiting for this very day.. the weather Out side has been very cold.. looking at the Snow falling.. even it has been raining a lot around this time.. I could Not come to this Tree.. I do missing this Tree.. which I received a Note.. YOU be telling me to come to this Tree.. and I just could not come around for a while.. But.. I am here today.. wondering.. DID YOU leave your Heart here.. I had a dream.. dreaming of the day.. my arms can wrap around.. looking at YOU.. but.. asking if I can see your Heart.. if I am allowed to speak to your Heart.. will you let Me.. will you allow me to talk to Your Heart because that is all I want.. that is ALL I need.. I want to first tell Your Heart.. how much I love you.. but I needs to say It.. I needs to tell It to your Heart.. without Your Heart.. My Love will Not last.. it cannot go very far.. that is why I am asking first for Your Heart.. so Please.. tell me that YOU have left your Heart behind.. as I would sit on the ground.. I would pull out the Paper which was inside this Glass Jar.. I started to Miss you Last Night.. for some reason.. I started to Miss you all over again.. I would be sitting at the desk.. and ON the corner of the Desk.. I would put your Picture.. and as I turn to LOOK at the corner of the Desk.. I would grab Your Picture and I would take a closer LOOK at YOU.. looking through the Picture.. I would say to YOU.. even though YOU may Not hear me.. YOU may never hear my voice.. I would look at Your Picture.. looking at YOU.. I would smile and say to YOU LOOKING at the Picture.. I miss YOU.. and I do Love YOU.. but first.. why do I keep on missing YOU even though I have your Picture with me.. why do I keep telling myself but Looking at YOU through this Picture.. I know that YOU can't hear me now.. But I know.. I believe that One Day YOU will hear me Loud and clear.. Holding YOU close in my arms.. I will say to YOU.. LOOKING at and asking.. is this YOUR HEART.. can I tell YOUR HEART that I love YOU.. will you please let me say it.. that I love YOU.. as I would be looking at the Picture of YOU.. I be very sad.. because when I start to think about missing YOU.. I really really do Miss YOU.. and I would pull out a clean piece of paper.. there is nothing written but just a Blank sheet.. I would grab me the Pencil.. and of course I have Never seen Your Heart.. but start to draw a Picture of Your Heart.. thinking maybe this is How YOUR Heart Looks Like.. the shape and the size of It.. I wish that I can have a picture of Your Heart.. How Big is it.. the shape of It.. can I take A picture of It.. only If I can see YOU.. and YOU holding a Heart in the hands.. I want to click to take a Picture with the camera.. but.. only thing I can do at this Point.. just draw a Picture.. Picture of Your Heart.. and I would put.. Can I write My Name in Your Heart.. would you say something about It if I do.. Please tell me if YOU don't want me too.. because I want to write my Name in your Heart and speak to this Piece of paper of drawing of Your Heart.. I love YOU.. I want to say It.. and tell YOU what My Heart truly feels.. I received few months back.. a Note from You because I have been asking for Your Heart.. that I want to see your Heart.. I been calling YOU On the Phone.. only hearing your Voice.. that is all I can receive from YOU.. but.. I want More than just hearing your Voice.. that is why I started to ask.. If I can see Your Heart.. will you allow me to see Your Heart.. can I get close to Your Heart and Know what is really in your Heart.. I want to hear Your Heart.. even though it can be very far.. even it can be from a long distance.. but I am just asking for this One thing.. Can YOU Please tell me where is Your Heart.. and I be putting YOU on the Loud speaker.. wanting to hear your Voice.. and YOU telling me you be sending me a Note.. when the Note arrives.. YOU are going to tell me where to GO.. and There.. YOUR HEART is going to be there too.. after I heard this from your voice.. I waited for the Note.. day would go by but it be very long as I would wait for the Note.. the Note comes and it arrives.. as I received the Note from YOU.. I open the front door and some one put the Note on the ground.. I do remember when I opened the front door.. I only found the Note on the ground.. I would go to the Note to pick It UP.. as I hold on and looked at your writing on the Note.. I would read it.. It is at the Park.. there is a Tree.. on a top of the Branch.. the Heart is there waiting.. I should of gone when I received it.. I should of walked right when I received It.. but it was raining Hard and I would hear the wind blowing Hard.. and I wanted to go but why on this day.. and I would just close the Door behind.. I do regret not going at that time.. I should of Gone because It is YOU.. I even told YOU that I be waiting for YOU.. for the Note which it came to me.. I do remember grabbing the Note.. walking into the House.. the Next day.. the Snow comes.. and It be very cold.. for weeks it would be cold with the Snow falling from the sky.. I should of Gone is what I should of done.. the weeks turned into Months now.. I would be waiting for the Snow weather to die down.. But why did I not come at the time YOU send the Note to Me.. as I am sitting on the Ground.. I am just looking UP at this Tree.. hoping maybe your Heart is still here.. am I just too Late.. did I come at the wrong time.. It is because I did Not come right.. I am looking at this Note.. with the Date YOU have written it to tell me when.. But.. LOOK at the time now.. I have decided to wait a little more longer.. and I should of come at the time.. at the Moment YOU wanted me to come and to show the Heart.. as I am sitting.. I would pull the Paper.. the Drawing of Your Heart.. I am still wondering.. will YOUR Heart be here.. I know that deep inside YOUR Heart is not going to be here.. because it is ME to be blamed for Not making it ON time.. I am the One to be blamed.. I was asking YOU.. I was begging for a Chance to see Your Heart.. I wanted too.. I also even brought the Camera with Me.. it has the straps around my Neck so that I can take a picture of Your Heart.. Just in case Your Heart falls from the Branches.. I can catch YOUR Heart with the Glass Jar.. as I would sit on the ground.. I feel so Sad.. I feel so Hurt all of a suddenly.. because I missed Out.. was I afraid to come because of the rain.. if it did Not rained at all.. I know that I would of showed UP 100 percent.. and I would push back saying.. maybe tomorrow.. but even when the tomorrow became today.. the weather did Not help me at all.. I should of still gone.. I should of come even though it could of delayed just for one day.. I choose not to come because of the weather.. but if I should of known that I would Not see your Heart here today.. then I could of made up my mind to show UP.. because do you not see that Now I am here.. I have come to see your Heart.. prepared and brought everything I told you that what I am going to do.. I told you that I wanted to take a picture of Your Heart.. to get the closer look.. I even told YOU that I drew a Picture of Your Heart.. Not sure the shape or the size but I wanted to know if it is going to be the same imagine of the drawing and Your Real Heart.. I want to see It.. I want to see Your Heart.. I want to hear Your Heart.. even it can be at the Way top of the branch.. as long as it is You.. it is Your Heart.. as I am looking at the Piece of paper.. looking at the drawing of Your Heart.. I wish that I came sooner.. I wish that I came early.. I wish that I would of walked and ran in the rain.. Just to see Your Heart.. just to see the Shape and the Size of Your Heart.. no Matter How wet I be.. or can be sick from the rain.. I could of catch the flu from the cold rain.. but at least I could see Your Heart.. taking the Picture of it.. your Heart.. and when I get the Photo picture of your Heart.. I would of pulled Out the Blank sheet of paper.. and LOOKING at the Photo picture of Your Real Heart.. I would try to draw the One that is in the Photo picture of Your Heart.. and let you see that this is the Heart I see on the Top of the branch and
Please.. Please give me YOUR Heart because I love YOU.. why can't YOU give me Your Heart so that I can tell YOUR Heart and say to your Heart How much I truly.. really really love YOU.. but the feeling would be at the Best as I would be able to turn the other way.. after I get to see Your Heart.. after I get to LOOK at the Drawing Picture of what I think your Heart looks Like and looking UP at the TOP Branch of this tree and looking actually at Your Heart.. and taking that picture.. taking the picture of Your Real Heart.. and I am able to print out the Photo Picture.. and I do not have to think if it is right but when I am holding the Actual Photo Picture of what I have taken of the Real Heart.. I know that I do not have to imagine it.. but can trace it and copy drawing on a Clean Blanket of Piece of paper.. and I can tell YOU.. I have seen Your Heart.. and here is the proof.. here is what I saw.. and when I saw Your Heart.. I just had to take a closer LOOK.. looking from the ground UP with my eyes was very Hard to know.. but when I put the Camera up.. and I looked through the Lens of the Camera.. able to focus and ZOOM it to get a closer look of your Heart.. I was Moved.. my Heart was moved.. I was touched deep inside.. because It is Your Heart I am looking at.. it is Not another person's heart.. but it is Your Heart who I be loving.. and wanting to see even from afar.. I would say.. even though it be hard for Your Heart to hear me from the ground.. I will tell Your Heart.. I love YOU.. for the first time.. I am saying it loud to YOU.. will you please accept these words of Mine to YOU.. that I love YOU.. and I am just waiting for the day.. I can Hold Your Heart in my arms.. I want to hold Your Heart and tell YOUR Heart.. I am so sorry that I missed YOU.. but I am Not sorry for loving YOU.. missing YOU hurts me More than anything else in the world.. but as long as I can get close to Your Heart.. I only want to see this Heart.. to tell YOU that I love YOU.. allow me to love Your Heart please.. will you please let me love YOU more.. love your Heart too.. as I am sitting on the ground.. I would start to cry.. I know that I came just too late.. I am only looking at the Piece of Paper.. the One that I drew thinking this is the shape and the size of Your Heart.. but I needs to see Your Heart.. not what I think it should be.. I should of come.. I have waited just too long or delayed too long.. Now I am missing Your Heart.. tell me where is Your Heart so that I can go.. go where your Heart is so that I can tell YOU how much I love YOU.. I am so sorry that I came just too later.. Please forgive me and help me again so that I can see Your Heart.. I want to say to Your Heart.. I love YOU.. please tell me.. where do I go now.. where is Your Heart so that I know where to go.. please tell me.. please.. I am looking at the Moon.. I am waiting for YOU.. just thinking about YOU.. Looking at the Moon.. I feel like I am starting to Miss YOU.. when can I see YOU.. can I hear Your Heart.. Can I see your Heart.. Please let me touch Your Heart.. because I need YOU.. I truly need YOU to love me Back.. only wish.. Only hope.. only dreaming if YOU can show me your Heart.. as I am looking UP toward the Moon.. I can picture in that Moon.. the Shape of Your Heart.. I want to see Your Heart.. My arm stretches Out.. my hand opens Wide.. my Other arm reaches.. stretches Out.. My Other Hand opens Wide.. if YOU can hear Me.. If YOU are able to hear.. Please listen with Your Ears.. Hear my words because I am talking to that MOON.. can YOU Hear through that Moon.. I want to know.. If YOU are Unable to hear my words.. If YOU are Unable to Hear my Voice.. On the Other side.. Is it Night.. because at this Point.. the Sun has went down and Now.. it is the Moon's Turn to get UP.. and I am looking at this Moon.. Hoping that It is Night on that Other side.. if it is.. Can YOU please come Out.. If YOU are able to see that MOON.. Please come Out from the Place YOU are.. I want to tell YOU something.. I want to speak and tell YOU something.. my hands are both open wide.. asking.. Can YOU Please give me Your Heart.. I will be standing still.. Until you give me Your Heart.. I been asking YOU for a long time.. Did you not forget.. ever since I first laid my eyes On you.. all I ever wanted is Your Heart.. All I ever talked about and asking YOU is for that Heart.. Please give me Your Heart.. Please Open your Heart.. I do not want anything else but Just for YOU to show me Your Heart and Please.. let me have Your Heart.. My Heart has been breaking.. It has been shattered into Pieces.. I am trying to put the Pieces of my Heart together.. without YOU.. I know that the Pieces of my Heart cannot come together.. that is why I am asking for Your Heart.. Only if YOU can show Me.. so that I can see the Shape of Your Heart.. and I can open my chest.. and Put your Heart inside the Chamber.. which been waiting for your Heart.. I need Your Heart.. I want to have YOUR HEART and Put close to my chest.. to see How can I live without YOU.. I know that I can't unless I have Your Heart.. I told YOU already.. How is my Heart be broken and How was it torn into Pieces and Cannot put it back together.. I broke my Own Heart.. So that I can put Your Heart instead of Mine.. that is How close I want to feel Your Heart.. to Feel the Beating of Your Heart.. to hear the Beating.. to hear the sound of Your Heart.. I want YOU very close.. SO close that I can hear Your Heart inside of Me.. so that I can see YOU close.. I am truly missing YOU.. I don't know why.. because it is so Hard to explain at this Point.. if YOU are asking me.. WHY do I miss YOU so Much.. I just saw your Picture.. which I would have it close to Me.. I would take a Look at your Picture.. and only Wish.. Only Hope when can I see YOU close.. will you ever come close to Me.. because the More away YOU are.. the More I want to see YOU close.. the More I miss YOU.. the More My Heart breaks.. breaking and hearing the sound of my Heart.. just breaking into pieces.. and I want to know.. Does Love hurts.. does it hurt you.. because for Me.. it hurts to Love YOU.. it hurts me so much that I can feel the breaking of my Heart.. I want to cry.. I want to cry a lot because it Hurts me more when I don't see YOU.. when I miss YOU.. when I step out side.. and I stand still in silent.. and I look UP.. toward the Moon.. I want to shout at the Moon and Cry when looking at the Moon.. I would say.. Can YOU please come Out tonight.. I wonder if it is Day.. Or is it Night.. If I am able to see the Moon tonight.. can YOU Please step Out side.. On the Other side.. do YOU see the Moon appear before Your eyes.. Look UP at the dark skies.. do you see the stars.. do you see the Moon.. if YOU can see the Moon appear before YOU.. Can YOU Hear me.. Can YOU Hear my voice.. Listen to my words because there is something very Important that I would like to say.. to tell YOU.. and I know for sure you know this and maybe heard it more than thousand times by Now.. But I never get tired of telling you this.. I just hope that YOU never get tired too.. If you do please tell Me so that I can stop.. if YOU hear me.. Please LOOK at the Moon.. can YOU see that MOON.. the same Moon that we can see together.. as I am standing still alone.. I am here by myself.. Looking at that Moon.. I been coming here.. from time to time.. when I think of YOU a lot and my Mind.. it gets very busy because I am thinking of YOU.. before I came Out side.. I saw Your Picture.. I saw the Picture of YOU smiling.. when I saw Your Picture.. My Heart was touched.. I put my hand on the Chest.. and I can feel the Beating of My Heart.. and I would tell Your Picture looking at YOU.. I love YOU.. YOU do not know How much I love YOU.. I am still here.. I am still able to tell YOU.. I am able to write to YOU still.. that shows that I have never lost the touch.. that I think of YOU always.. when I saw Your Picture.. it felt Like I got drunk.. I wanted to fall.. and sit on the floor.. I felt dizzy and my knees got weak when I saw YOUR picture.. I told myself.. I should Not keep on looking at your Picture.. because once I start to look.. I would miss YOU.. Missing YOU leads me to walk Out side.. Missing YOU leads me to Look at the Moon.. and my eyes would wander looking UP at the sky.. Looking for the stars.. and Looking for the Moon.. I would close my eyes.. Both eyes shut closed as I would put YOU in my Head.. a Picture pops in my Mind as I would think of YOU.. and envision YOU.. wanting to see YOU.. I would open my eyes.. as I am staring at the Moon.. I would look at the Moon.. and I would open my mouth and say.. Do you know why I am here tonight.. Do you know why I am lead here.. I saw YOUR Picture.. I saw your Beautiful Picture.. saw Your Beautiful Face.. Now Look what YOU have made me do.. I am asking YOU if YOU can hear me.. Please say something back.. Please tell me something because My Heart is listening.. say something because My Heart is opened to listen.. Say something because my ears wants to hear Your Voice and Your Words.. Please say something because tonight is the Night I really want to hear YOU.. that this very Night.. for some reason I am missing YOU much more.. even though every night I miss YOU.. and I want to see YOU every day.. But on this very Night.. I really really want to hear from YOU.. I want you to Know that I love YOU.. I really really Love YOU.. Why can't I hear from YOU on the Other side.. is it because YOU can't hear me at all.. YOU know that every time I come Out.. every time I look UP at the sky and Look towards the Moon.. I am always expecting to hear from YOU.. but every night.. I would be the One who is speaking.. saying something as I am looking toward the Moon.. after I am done speaking as I am looking UP at the Moon.. I would be so sad.. My Heart be broken.. My Heart be breaking
Heard on the Other side.. What If YOU are Not there.. What if It is Night there.. and yes.. the Moon has come UP.. but YOU are Not Standing Out side where YOU can see that Moon.. I want my Voice to be heard for YOU.. I want my Words to be Heard to YOU.. because None of it is empty words.. it is Words that comes from My Heart and My Mind.. from Inside of Me.. that is why I been asking for YOUR HEART.. If I can have your Heart just for One Night.. if I am able to put Your Heart inside the Chamber in my Chest.. and I close the Chamber of the gates of my Chest.. I know that if YOUR Heart is inside of Me.. I can walk out alone.. stand by myself in the Night.. Looking UP at the MOON.. so that My Words can be Heard.. so that My Voice may be heard.. and if YOUR HEART is inside my Chest in the chamber.. I would look UP at the Moon.. and YOU are able to hear all of My words.. my Voice.. and even what comes within Me to tell YOU.. YOUR Heart being so Close to Me.. I know that My Words would not go empty.. and I can just express and tell YOU.. and YOU can Hear me.. that YOU can hear me finally and that I know that YOUR HEART is able to hear my words and My Mind.. and to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I would know for sure.. I can come Out side every night.. without questions rather YOU are listening or Not.. But I know for sure YOU can Hear Me.. that YOU know How much I love YOU.. YOU know How much I miss YOU and able to know my Heart.. that I am able to tell YOU.. and I can finally cry Out Loud knowing we are looking at the SAME MOON.. that YOU can hear me speak.. YOU can hear me talk and share.. that I know YOU are listening to My Heart.. that I can finally hear Your Heart.. listen to the Sound and the Beating of Your Heart.. when it comes so Close.. I can tell your Heart.. DO YOU HEAR ME.. Can YOU Hear me.. because NOW I know.. Now I feel.. Now I hear that my Dreams.. hopes and wishes can come true because I have Your Heart.. I really Need Your Heart.. because I love YOU.. I am sitting down by the shores.. Looking at the Waters coming In.. On a big rock.. I am sitting and just thinking about You.. I am looking at two Empty Bottles.. for some reason.. I started to drink.. the More I think of YOU.. the More I miss YOU.. on this Night.. why do I feel the aching in my Heart.. I wish that I did Not look at your Picture.. I received a Letter from YOU.. and YOU are telling me YOU are going some where so far.. and telling me that It is going to take YOU a while and after hearing these words after I read the Letter you wrote me.. I just could Not take it any more.. I could Not stay inside the House.. so Leaving the House.. and so I wrote YOU a Letter back.. But.. I am wondering at this Point.. what am I suppose to do with the Letter that is In my Hand.. if I am unable to reach YOU.. YOU have Not tell me where YOU are going.. and how long will it take for YOU to come back.. I would look at your Picture.. and looking at the Letter.. I am feeling so much hurt right Now.. it is because I am missing YOU so Much.. All I ever asked for is Your Heart.. I would ask if I can Have your Heart.. is it just too much of asking YOU for It.. because I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. without Your Heart.. there is Nothing that I can do.. then please tell Me.. How do I win YOU over.. How am I suppose to make YOU mine.. what is the secret so that I can take action.. and also tell YOU because I am Not sure what to do at this Point.. So I have decided to come to the Place.. this Rock has been here ever since I first came.. I would sit on the Top of this Rock.. when I want to see you the Most.. I brought with me a Shot Glass.. of course I did not bring YOU picture with me this time.. because I know if I do.. I would be taking a Look.. which it can make my eyes pop out whenever I see Your Picture.. I wish that YOU knew this Heart of Mine.. why can't you see through.. why can't you understand me.. or relate with me what I am going through right Now.. I have bought three bottles of Rice wine.. so far.. I have finished two Bottles.. I am taking a Look at the third.. the last One.. I don't feel drunk at All.. but I need to wash away what is in my Mind.. what is inside my Head.. I am trying to wash YOU away.. trying to forget.. or to erase YOU off but the More I try.. the More I just can't.. so Please Help me for once.. Help me How to win YOU over.. I am still trying over and over.. but I am asking YOU now.. if you know the answers.. if you know the secrets of How to Make YOU Mine.. I feel like I am dying inside right Now.. I feel like I am ready to die instead because I want to have Your Heart.. if only YOU can show me Your Heart and I be able to hold Your Heart in my arms.. and to able to speak to Your Heart.. will you let me tell YOU something.. will you let me speak to Your Heart.. because that is the Only One thing I want.. what I truly need.. to have your Heart and to tell Your Heart.. I have a Heart too.. and My Heart just loves YOU.. How can I transfer this Message to reach Out to YOU.. How can I tell you that I love YOU.. YOU are so far away.. there is this distance between Us.. and I would like to get close to YOU.. How can I get close to YOU.. to your Heart.. Please tell me and let me Know.. as I am looking at the last Bottle.. my hand grabs.. twist the TOP and open it.. holding the Glass shot in the Other hand.. the One with the Bottle.. my hand pours into the Shot Glass.. what if I get sick.. so sick that I rather die instead.. I feel so sick in my stomach because I need to see YOU.. I need to hold YOU Near in my hands.. in my arms and I would say to YOU.. will you please show me Your Heart.. How can I see your Heart.. Please.. let me see your Heart and Please hear these words of Mine.. that I been here.. always waiting for YOU.. just to Love YOU.. and to tell YOU that I love YOU.. will you let me tell YOU these words of Mine to YOU.. that is why I need your Heart.. I need to know so that I can tell YOU.. but when YOU tell me that YOU are going to take a Long time and YOU are leaving going somewhere very far.. How can I tell YOU.. that is why I been asking YOU.. at least Leave Your Heart with Me.. let your Heart be close to me so that I will not feel like I can't do nothing.. as I am looking at the Shot Glass in my Hand.. I would open my Mouth wide and slam the Shot Glass with rice wine into my mouth.. since I did Not bring your Picture with me.. Now I am dying to see YOU.. I am starting to miss YOU because all I see is the waters coming IN and going Out.. I just can't stop.. but why can't I stop.. I would tell myself to stop.. but How can I stop.. it is because I love YOU.. How can YOU stop someone who loves YOU so much.. that is why I need to hear words from YOU.. If you can tell me to stop Loving YOU.. I know that I can finally rest in Peace.. but.. I still be missing YOU.. still be looking at your Picture and just wondering.. what If something can happen.. How would it be Like if YOU were here with Me.. and I be able to hold YOU in my arms.. and tell YOU.. looking at Your Heart.. even though the Time flies and many weeks and months has passed By.. I still Love YOU.. and If you are asking me.. why do I love YOU so Much.. how is it possible to love YOU this Much.. and if you are asking me and wondering on the Other side.. I would look at the One I am holding the Bottle of rice wine.. Looking at the Other hand holding the Shot Glass.. I would be pouring the Bottle of the rice wine Into the Shot Glass.. placing the Bottle on the ground.. I would be looking at the waters.. I open my mouth wide and pour.. slam the rice wine into my Mouth with the Shot Glass.. and I would close both eyes.. Just thinking about YOU.. I be thinking of YOU.. as I am going back.. I am standing inside the House.. and I hear the Knock On the door.. and I know that YOU are coming over.. after receiving the Message.. the text Message from YOU.. I open the front door.. and I see YOU standing there.. I receive the Letter YOU gave me.. and I wanted to ask if YOU wanted to come inside.. but.. YOU tell me that YOU needs to go.. and I watch YOU turn the other way and YOU start to walk.. where I stop seeing YOU.. as I close the Door.. I would unfold the Letter.. and a Picture falls Out from the folded Paper.. as I go down.. and I pick Up the Picture.. I look at You.. and YOU are wearing a White Dress.. and I just can't believe it.. YOU are so Beautiful.. especially in that White Dress.. But this is Not just an ordinary Dress.. It seems like something is going to happen soon.. It looks like a Wedding Dress to me.. and On the Letter YOU are telling me that YOU are going to get married.. and YOU have invited me to come to see YOU at your Wedding.. I am wondering.. with who are you getting Married too.. because I don't want to receive this from YOU.. why are you telling me to come if I am Not the One who is going to stand next to YOU to make YOU my wife.. If I am invited for the wrong reason.. I do not want to come.. I don't want to watch YOU leave my Life and go with another.. It should be Me who should stand next to YOU.. the One who can put the ring on your Finger.. But why did YOU write me this kind of letter.. It really hurts Me if YOU are telling me to sit and watch the One you love to be taken away from Me.. and I just can't believe you are telling me this.. so I would rip the Letter into pieces.. I just can't take this from YOU.. I don't want to receive this from YOU because YOU are Only hurting me More.. what have I done to deserve this Kind of News.. why hurt me when YOU know my true intentions.. My true Motives.. I know that if I stand next to YOU through Thin and through Thick.. through the good times and the Bad times.. I know that after a certain time.. YOU can Love Me.. why can't YOU give me a chance to proof that I can love YOU more
The prove that I can share and show YOU that It is real.. My Heart is real.. just too real sometimes but is it not better to be more real than to be fake.. that is why I can tell YOU.. for weeks.. for months.. I can still tell YOU that I loved YOU then and I love YOU now.. as I am sitting on this rock.. I open both eyes.. and I look UP to the Moon.. wishing why does has to happen.. to hear this from YOU.. I wanted to hear.. can I marry YOU and will you be mine forever please.. Let me be the One.. Please.. let me be the One to stand next to you and exchange the Vows.. the One who can say I do to YOU.. and the One who can put the ring on your finger and tell YOU.. thank YOU for being the One for me.. the one who I can love forever and say that YOU are Mine.. YOU know that I love you too much.. because I just can't stop but just Love YOU.. because I do.. truly love YOU.. really really.. just love YOU.. the Angel.. Your Angel who loves YOU.. it is because I really really Love YOU.. and this is the Only thing I can do and I can show.. and tell YOU.. which It means truly.. I love YOU.. I received and I would be wondering.. why would someone write me a Note.. but there is No Name telling me from who.. I have this note and tells me to go to the Park.. and there is a Big Tree.. I have this Jar.. it is an Empty Glass Jar.. I am sure I am going to be meeting.. and I see a Picture.. of course it is YOU.. I am sure that the Note has to come from YOU.. because why would anyone write me a Note.. So.. I have a Flower.. a SUN FLOWER.. putting into the Empty Glass Jar.. and with the Note and the Picture.. I would walk outside.. and I love the Sun.. it makes me really really happy when I see the SUN outside.. when the MOON comes UP.. I do get very sad.. because I start to miss YOU.. and I just don't want to keep on missing YOU when I see the Night with MOON up on the sky.. but on this Day.. yes.. I am so Happy that I did receive a Note.. I never receive notes from anyone.. but when it comes from YOU.. it does Not matter How many Notes you send.. just receiving from YOU means everything to me.. So I walk outside and I am thinking of YOU.. Not missing YOU.. but just thinking of YOU.. of Us.. the Hope that Dreams can come True.. So I am holding the Jar.. the Empty glass jar but the SUN FLOWER has entered inside.. So as I am walking.. I see the Park.. I am getting closer to the Big Tree.. and I keep on walking.. I am wondering.. Am I suppose to be meeting YOU here.. I am wondering.. what am I doing here.. I only received a Note card.. telling me to come to this park by this Big tree.. am I suppose to be receiving or am I suppose to be giving.. I am Not sure because I only read it to come here.. so I am standing around.. Placing the Jar.. the Glass Jar down.. I am looking around.. there is another Note.. the NOTE is taped on this tree.. I have the note card.. I have Your Picture.. so I know who I am suppose to look for.. but.. this Note.. I would pull the Note Out from the Tree.. it is taped.. and I would turn around.. it is a Drawing of a Heart.. I am thinking.. is this a JOKE.. a Heart.. and someone drew it with a pencil.. Now.. it is a Heart.. Yes.. I know I want a Heart.. I don't want a Heart with someone draw on it.. I am asking for a Real Heart.. Not a Heart that someone sketched and says it is a Heart.. Honestly.. I want Your Heart.. the One that is inside your Chest.. Not my chest but Yours.. I been asking for a long time now.. it has been so long.. and Now.. are YOU telling me that I am able to have a Heart.. or are you asking me.. if I can give YOU my Heart.. but.. I don't want to give YOU my Heart.. what if My Heart cries because of YOU.. what if YOU Hurt my heart.. what if my Heart does not work or feel the same once YOU take my Heart.. I am Not going to give YOU my heart unless you give me Your Heart first.. I need your Heart.. do YOU see that I am able to speak and share through this.. I am telling YOU.. right Now.. I have not forgotten.. I want... I really really want.. and I will say it over again.. I want it.. I truly want Your Heart because I been asking.. even praying and begging for Your Heart.. why I need it.. TO be honest.. what are YOU going to do with Your Heart.. if I am the One who loves YOU first.. and I am able to tell YOU how I truly feel inside and as been expressing and telling YOU.. how much I need YOU so Please give me Your Heart.. But let me ask you this.. what are you going to do with your heart.. are you just going to let Your Heart just sit there.. YOU know that at least.. I can have your Heart.. if YOU are able to give me Your Heart.. I can speak.. I can pour my Heart and soul and say something to Your Heart.. YOU know that I will never hurt Your Heart.. I can love YOU heart and tell Your Heart How much I love YOU.. so help me to understand.. what are you going to do with Your Heart.. I know that I can take your Heart close.. I can whisper and say that I love YOU.. I can speak and whisper How much I missed YOU.. the sorrows and the tears I had to deal with.. how I would cry in the nights.. when I look at the Moon.. I would say.. I wish.. Only if I can hold your Heart close.. if my hands be able to hold and carry your Heart.. by the MOON.. I would turn to LOOK at the Moon and tell the MOON.. do you see this.. it is the Heart who I love the Most.. able to show this MOON.. How I would be out in the Night.. looking and speaking to the MOON how much I wanted you close.. or wanted you near.. and I can show the MOON.. on this very Night.. just Look.. I am holding in my hands.. palm of my hands is this Fragile Heart.. do you see what I am seeing and I would lift it UP to show the MOON.. YOU have seen me out here.. and Here comes this Person again.. asking for the Same.. Night after Night.. here I go out.. turning and LOOKING at the MOON.. I would be raising UP my voice.. saying How much I missed YOU and needed you close.. Only If I am able to have Your Heart.. closer to me.. and able to speak and share My Heart to your Heart.. how much I want YOU near.. and How I am dealing with the times of distance.. when YOU are so far away.. I am torn down into pieces because I want you close.. and I would say.. if I have Your Heart.. if my palm of hands able to get Hold of YOUR Heart.. I know that in due time.. YOU will come.. YOU are not going to leave your Heart with me.. soon or later I believe you will come to get Your Heart.. that is why I want this Heart.. I want Your Heart.. that is the only way I know that I will see you soon.. as I am standing by this Big Tree.. I know this can't be a joke.. why would you do this to me.. DO you think that I am dumb.. because I don't want this kind of Heart.. I want the real Heart.. the One I can touch.. I can hold and feel.. and able to speak and say to the Heart How much I love YOU.. what am I suppose to do with this Heart.. I know that someone drew this Heart.. thinking this is funny.. But to Me.. it is Not that funny.. because I am serious about Your Heart.. I want the One who lives inside YOU.. so Please.. tell me that it is a sample.. that this is not a real Heart.. and I take a Look at the Note again.. this time.. a written on.. the Heart is On top of the Tree.. of course I missed this Line right here.. which Now I do feel so Dumb for missing the Purpose of this Note.. as I smile.. I know that YOU are Not joking.. it means it is a real Heart.. of course.. While I was walking.. I saw the Big Tree from the distance and It is very Big Tree.. I get closer to the Tree.. and I am able to look UP.. it looks so much bigger.. as I would lift up my Head to look UP.. can I ask YOU a Big Favor.. if I am able to see the Heart and I am able to get Your Heart.. can I please write My Name on that Heart.. will you let me.. will you allow me.. will you give me the Permission to write my Name on your Heart so that YOU will know that I did find your Heart and that I love YOU.. How do you know who loves YOU.. YOU will not know unless someone writes HIS NAME and tells YOU to Your Heart.. I love YOU.. I never stopped loving YOU.. that is why I want to tell YOU and remind YOU many times.. the Name will cross your Mind.. when YOU LOOK at your Heart and YOU find a Name.. YOU are able to remember that this Name.. this person Loves YOU.. He loves YOU to death that He also writes.. the way I received the Note and it was written.. I want to write.. Not ON the Note.. and No.. I am not going to draw No Heart and paste ON you.. but I want to write on your Heart.. that I love YOU.. when YOU feel like it seems like NO ONE cares at least YOU will know that I do.. that I care and I do love YOU.. so please.. Give me Your Heart.. I need Your Heart.. why do you have to make it so Hard for me to get to Your Heart.. why.. YOU know that this tree is Big.. is is very Big with many branches going UP.. which I am sure it is going to be so hard for someone like me to climb.. if the branches breaks.. you know I will fall on the ground.. But.. how am I suppose to get to Your Heart.. as I am looking UP at this Big tree.. and I am much smaller.. I look way UP.. at the way top of the tree.. a Branch is there.. I do see the Heart.. I see Your Heart sitting on the top of the Branch.. it takes my breathe away that I finally see your Heart
The Heart.. That Heart is the Only way.. YOUR HEART.. as I look at your Picture.. I would speak to your Picture.. right Now I have NO idea.. but I got a Note from YOU and I have come here because of the Note YOU gave me.. I also have the Other Note which was taped on the Tree.. and I saw the Note.. it has a drawing of Your Heart.. and I even read the NOTE down below.. telling me to LOOK UP on this BIG TREE.. I looked UP and way UP on the first Branch.. the top branch.. I see a Big Heart.. and It must be Your Heart which is sitting on top of the first branch at the TOP of this Tree.. I am holding the Shot glass into my hand.. as My other Hand holds the Bottle.. Bottle of SOJU and I am pouring into the Shot Glass.. Only words I would say to YOU.. I miss YOU.. I don't know why but this very Night.. I am missing YOU.. wishing that YOU are here with me.. I just want to hold YOU in my arms.. Hold YOU close.. Hold you tight.. But No matter how many times I call for YOU.. calling YOUR name.. it seems like YOU Never answer.. Can you Hear Me.. Can you hear my voice calling out to YOU.. calling out your Name.. I put the SOJU bottle down on the Floor.. my other hand holding the Shot Glass.. both eyes closes.. I open my mouth.. I would slam the Shot Glass.. the SOJU hits me.. as I would sit.. I put the Shot Glass on the ground.. Next to the Bottle of SOJU.. as I would open both eyes.. I look down at the Bottle of SOJU.. it is Now Empty.. I just finished taking many shots.. I just needed to get.. My Heart Hurts.. because I am missing YOU.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. as Your Picture is laying on the ground.. my hand grabs the Picture.. I pick up your Picture.. looking at YOU.. LOOKING at this Picture of YOU.. WHY do you have to be so Far.. that because of the distance.. the distance that keeps us apart.. I wish that I wouldn't miss you like this.. but there are some nights that I would feel.. My Heart gets heavy.. and for no Other reason.. I just miss YOU out of Nowhere.. as I want to cry.. I just want to pour down my tears.. and I would get UP slowly.. standing Out side.. On this very peaceful Night.. I would Look UP.. Looking at the stars.. and I turn to LOOK at the MOON.. my arms stretches further.. towards the MOON.. the Other Hand with No picture.. I am looking at the MOON.. I wish that the MOON can come close.. so that the MOON can hear Me.. I know that since you are far off.. YOU can't hear me.. NO matter How loud my voice gets.. NO Matter How louder I want to speak UP.. these words.. Words I want to tell YOU.. these words to Tell your ear.. I need your ears tonight.. so that I want to speak.. speak to YOU.. to Your Heart.. to tell YOU.. I miss YOU.. I miss you so much.. sometimes I just don't know what to do.. what can I do.. what could I do.. missing YOU.. wanting to dry my tears.. Missing YOU.. my words wants to speak to YOU.. but.. YOU can't even hear me.. so what am I suppose to do if I want to speak and tell YOU.. I love YOU.. I love YOU that I am missing YOU.. missing you which is driving me crazy.. I feel so Crazy right Now.. look at me.. Look at what I am doing right Now.. as I am looking UP.. I am looking at the MOON.. as my hand.. my arm is reaching for the MOON.. I want this MOON to come close.. Please.. can YOU come closer.. I want to say something.. I need to speak.. it is my Heart.. I want to speak from My Heart.. so Please.. if you can lend me the ear so that when I finish speaking.. I know that YOU know where.. I want to show you the Picture.. the One who I love the Most.. my beloved.. the One who I miss the Most.. the One who I wants to tell YOU about.. If you can come closer.. and show me your ear so that I can tell YOU.. my Heart.. needs to say.. and I know that when YOU see the One who I love the most.. Please tell Her.. I miss Her.. and I love her.. can YOU do me a favor.. I am asking YOU from My Heart.. as I am looking UP at the MOON.. I don't see any reaction.. the MOON does not come near.. Does Not come close to Me.. as I lift up the Other arm.. the One my Hand is holding your Picture.. I would look at your picture.. looking at YOU closer.. I open my mouth LOOKING at your Picture.. it is so sad that I am talking to a thin air.. I feel like NO ONE knows and NO ONE cares.. Not even the MOON seems like He cares.. I asked the MOON to come closer.. if that MOON has an ear.. that My Heart.. I am burning inside to speak.. to say.. to share what is deep in my soul.. I asked the MOON if he has an ear.. I wanted to show that MOON the picture of YOU.. when the MOON looks at YOU.. this Picture I am holding in my hand and show the MOON.. so that He is able to know who YOU are.. That Moon is able to know because the MOON is lifted UP.. able to find YOU.. able to know who you are so that if that MOON has the ears to listen.. I wanted to sent a message to YOU through this MOON.. If the MOON is able to find YOU on the Other side.. and if YOU ever go Out side on this very peaceful Night.. if the MOON spots YOU.. He can call out to YOU.. AND say Your Name.. calling out to YOU by asking YOU.. calling out your Name so that YOU can turn and KNOW.. a message must be delivered.. but.. No matter How many times I tried to call.. I know that YOU are unable to receive.. even this MOON does not respond to my calling.. I am asking this MOON.. but the Moon seems like He don't know.. So I am here.. standing alone on this very night.. wanting to tell YOU that I miss YOU.. I wanted to tell YOU.. But.. How can I tell YOU if you are so Far away.. miles and miles.. distance apart.. what am I suppose to do if I can't tell YOU what is in my heart.. this afternoon.. I saw your picture.. when I saw your picture.. I would smile.. saying YOU are so Beautiful.. YOU are so Lovely and so wonderful.. I would smile looking at your Picture.. but at the same time.. my Heart.. grew sad on Me.. I went to a shop.. and got me a Bottle of SOJU.. I did not want to drink it at first.. I don't like getting drunk.. I hate waking up with hang over.. but for some reason.. I went to a shop.. and GOT me a Bottle of SOJU.. grabbing the Shot Glass out of the kitchen cabinet.. I placed it next to the Shot Glass.. as I would look at your Picture.. I started to miss YOU.. I would ask myself.. WHY all of a sudden this feeling over came me.. that I felt so Sad.. it is because I want to be with YOU right Now.. I want to tell YOU.. Hold you close.. hold you tight and pull you close.. wrap my arms around you and tell Your ears.. How much I love YOU.. I never stopped loving YOU.. and I will never stop.. I will keep on loving YOU.. looking at your picture.. sometimes I am overwhelm by your beauty.. I never get tired of looking at YOU.. my hand touch my chest.. and I can feel how much I love to look at YOU.. and only If this Picture had ears.. if your picture had ears.. I know that I do not have to be going outside.. looking at the MOON.. if your picture only had ears to listen.. How lovely would that BE.. I can just speak.. speak from my Heart to tell YOU.. whenever I feel I miss YOU.. or My Heart feels to say I love YOU.. I can just tell YOU.. how much I do.. but.. I look at your Picture.. I don't see any ears.. so I know that Your picture is unable to hear Me.. so what am I suppose to do if I can say these words to YOU.. it hurts me More than hurts YOU.. there are times when I miss you more.. days when I want to see YOU.. when I want you near and close.. so that I can feel your warmth.. see your smile.. and to even hear your voice from time to time.. I got the Shot Glass.. with the BOTTLE of SOJU.. and I would pour the BOTTLE OF SOJU into the Shot Glass.. and I would look at Your Picture.. I would say.. Do you know that I miss YOU right Now.. please say something.. Please tell me that YOU also miss me too.. I need to hear something from YOU.. but.. I know that If I tell you these words.. YOUR Picture has No ears to listen.. and I would say to myself.. why am I always hoping.. I am hoping that YOU can see me.. I am hoping that YOU can hear me.. but NO matter how many words I would speak looking at your Picture.. I don't hear any words back from YOU.. I grab the Shot Glass.. Open my Mouth wide and slam the SOJU into my mouth.. I am asking YOU.. I am asking you because I miss YOU so bad.. I miss you like there will be NO tomorrow.. I miss you because I love YOU.. and I know that even though the tomorrow may come.. will YOU able to hear me.. hear me say to YOU that I miss YOU and that I love YOU.. as I would turn.. I would look UP to the Moon.. I would open my Mouth looking at the MOON.. thinking of YOU.. thinking because I love YOU.. thinking because I miss YOU.. I would look UP.. at the MOON and say.. Only if this MOON can hear Me.. How nice would that be.. because there are so much to say.. if YOU can only come down.. and if you have ears.. I be asking YOU.. can you lend me your ears on this very Night.. can YOU do me favor and send a Message.. Do you see this Picture.. DO you see the One who I love the Most.. Please remember this Picture and the Face
Oink Oink.. Is it really You.. I am looking at the Letter.. is it written by YOU.. can YOU please tell me if this writing belongs to YOU.. I want to know because I want it from YOU.. from NO ONE else but just YOU.. and I am looking at the Letter in my hands.. and I just opened the envelope and inside is Your Picture.. as I pulled out your Photo Picture.. YOU are so Beautiful.. I have never seen such a Smile.. but.. I want to tell YOU that YOU are so Beautiful to Me.. I don't care what any one else says about YOU.. as Long as I know that I love YOU.. Not just love YOU.. I do admire YOU.. as I would open the folded Letter and I would look.. It is written by YOU.. I can smell the perfume.. the scent.. I know that I have been writing YOU many letters.. and One of the Letters I have written asking to send me a Letter and a Photo Picture of YOU.. a New Picture of YOU.. I have an Older picture.. but the recent which I can look at YOU.. I watched the Mail Man putting the envelope into the Mail Box and I saw the Truck takes off.. I did Not think that YOU be sending me a Letter.. Of course for a long time I was hoping that YOU would tell me something.. that YOU would write me a letter and give me a New Picture of YOU.. I wanted to see how you looked recently.. hoping that YOU be more beautiful than the One.. the Older Photo Picture I have.. I do remember.. walking Out.. looking out through the window of my Room.. I saw the truck arriving.. I saw the Mail Man putting an envelope into the Mail box and He takes Off.. of course I did not think that It be a Letter from YOU.. Not even a Photo picture added into it.. but On this very night.. I would open the front door of the House.. I would walk and I stopped.. LOOKING at the sky.. I saw the Moon.. the Moon looks at me and I wanted to wave at the Moon.. but I just did Not.. I went to the Mail Box.. and I opened.. my hand grabs the envelope and I just could Not believe it.. It was hand written.. and It had YOUR NAME.. I am wondering.. what if this Does not belong to this Mail Box.. what if the Mail Man brought to the wrong Mail Box which goes to the wrong person.. but is it really for me.. and I am not sure just by looking at the envelope.. I know this Mail Man.. He gets to the right Box into the right hand into the right House.. so I know this Mail Man because He has been around this block for a long time.. So I take the envelope into the house.. I stop and I turn to LOOK UP.. holding the envelope into the air.. I am Not sure if it is to the right person.. BUT I am only hoping that it is to Me.. I see the Name.. and I know it must be for Me.. hoping that it was Not placed into the wrong person's hands.. and I would turn to look at the front door.. and I would walk into the House.. In the room.. I am standing there.. my hands together.. like I am wishing.. that I am hoping.. that I am praying that it is for Me.. I wanted it for Me.. and I opened the envelope.. pulling Out is the New Photo Picture of YOU.. My Heart.. am I going to have an Heart attack.. do I needs to go see the Doctor.. and ask why is My Heart acting this way.. that I am getting a Heart attack.. OH Help me.. help My Heart to stay calm.. I am dying.. as I am looking at the New Photo Picture of YOU.. I feel like it is so Hard for me to breathe.. I feel it be aching inside.. It is so Hard to breathe looking at YOU in this New Photo Picture.. WHY.. WHY do you have to be this Beautiful.. YOU are so gorgeous that It hurts me more to LOOK at this Picture.. should I of asked.. If I asked.. I know that YOU are going to give but when YOU are wearing a White Dress.. and YOU are smiling.. if YOU are so Beautiful.. and I can't do nothing.. it aches and it hurts me More.. it hurts my eyes too keep on looking at this Picture.. I needs to turn away.. My eyes needs to look another way.. because I can get a heart attack.. Now I want to see YOU more.. I want to ask for YOU and I be saying.. I need YOU more.. what if I ask YOU.. can I see YOU.. can I meet YOU.. can I go over and knock on your Door.. can I be the one to get closer to YOU.. and I would look at your New Photo Picture.. it gets harder to look the other way.. and as I would look into the envelope.. I grab the Letter.. the scent.. the perfume.. soft smell.. the sweet smell of YOU.. as I open the Letter which is written by YOU.. I am thinking.. did I do the right thing for asking YOU to write and to respond.. what if I can feel like I am dying inside.. I just can't sleep.. I won't be able to sleep because I be thinking of YOU.. I am already thinking of YOU just too much.. now it is going to add the fuel inside of me because I see the new Photo Picture and Now.. this Letter.. I get to see what YOU be thinking.. as I open the Letter.. and I would read the Letter you written to me.. I only hear.. you only wrote the word Hi.. just wanted to say and Your name is written.. but.. even just the word Hi.. it means everything to me then Not saying or written anything.. but.. it is this Picture.. the New Photo Picture.. I just can't take my eyes off of you.. why can't I just let it rest.. why can't I.. it hurts me More just by looking because YOU are so Beautiful.. why did YOU have to look so Beautiful like this.. as I would sit by the desk.. I am thinking of YOU.. Is my Heart so broken.. am I broken.. do I feel so broken inside.. I feel so sad because Now there is a reason for me to want to get more close to YOU.. then.. what am I suppose to do.. if we are apart and the distance.. this miles of distance.. and when I look at the new Photo Picture of YOU.. My Heart wants to cry.. I want to cry when YOU look this Good.. and I just can't be there for YOU.. My Heart wants to cry.. I want to cry because I want to pull you closer but I know I can't.. I know that I just can't even though I want to get close.. to Hold YOU.. to HOLD you close and smell the same perfume.. this aroma.. it is driving me insane.. it is driving me crazy.. because I want to hold YOU and tell YOU.. what Words should I say to YOU.. can I hold YOU close.. may I hold YOU close.. can I hold your hands Please.. as I would pull a New Piece of Paper.. clean Piece of paper.. with the envelope on the side.. I grab a pencil to tell YOU my Heart.. but the word only Beautiful comes into my Mind.. leaving me speech less.. My Heart.. feels like an Attack.. getting this Heart attack.. I just can't hold back the tears.. my tears of this over joy.. but sadness because I want to love YOU more.. I want to tell YOU who loves YOU.. I want to say it to YOU.. but I can't tell YOU.. I needs to tell YOU.. will you let me say it to YOU.. I need your ears.. I really need your ears.. so that YOU can listen to my words telling YOU.. I know that by now I can say it to YOU.. after a time of writing YOU for a long time.. Now it builds this confident to say it.. I want to say it to YOUR ears.. to Your Heart that I love YOU.. but I need YOU to be hear with me be close by me.. as I am looking at the New clean white piece of paper.. I would begin with.. I have received Your Letter.. and I have gotten a New Photo Picture of YOU.. when I pulled it Out of the envelope.. My hand could not take it.. because of my eyes.. YOU blew my mind to pieces.. my hands opened letting the New Photo Picture to hit the desk.. I couldn't take it.. My Heart couldn't take it any more.. because of the radiant of Your Skin.. YOU are so Beautiful.. why did YOU have to be this Beautiful that it got me caught off guard.. I could not control my emotions.. My Heart crying inside.. telling me that YOU are so Beautiful.. My hand wouldn't to pound on my chest like I am a GORILLA.. I just couldn't hang on to your Beauty.. as I would stop.. I wanted to breathe.. can I breathe.. But it was so Hard for me to breathe.. leaving me speechless.. I wanted to say something.. but it is a Picture.. a New Photo Picture.. it can't speak back or Hear me say a word.. but I wanted to say it any ways.. but How can I say something.. that is why I just had to grab a Piece of paper to write YOU a Letter.. I just can't keep it to myself any more.. any longer because YOU are the Most Beautiful.. Like a Flower.. just too beautiful to be true.. as I am writing this Letter to YOU.. I just opened a wine.. pouring into the glass and I am drinking while I am writing and thinking of YOU.. turning to look at Your New Photo Picture of YOU.. I feel like I needs to cry.. Cry because I can't be with YOU right Now.. even though I want to be close.. My arms wants to hold YOU and tell YOU.. what are you doing to Me.. why does Love have to be this Hard.. why can't I be with you.. YOU know that I can love you right.. YOU know that I be telling YOU that I love YOU.. I be close to YOU.. asking for Your ear.. instead of always turning to look at the Photo Picture.. I can look at YOU.. holding your hands and pull YOU close.. and I will look at your Ear and say.. can YOUR Heart hear me.. will YOU open your Heart so that YOU can hear me right.. I been struggling and dealing this Pain.. the pain and this ache inside because of YOU.. longing for YOU.. crying in the night.. trying to go to sleep but I can't sleep.. my mind rushes of YOU.. seeing you every where and it is YOU who is haunting me every where.. I need YOU.. I need you so that I can stop missing YOU.. I need you so that I can keep on telling YOU that I love YOU.. why can't you be close to Me so that I can love YOU the way YOU NEEDS to be loved.. do YOU NOT want to be loved by me.. I will always love YOU.. YOU know that I can't stop.. or are you afraid that once YOU are here with me.. I will stop caring and loving YOU.. that I won't send YOU letters any more.. because It should Not matter.. is it because of too many Heart breaks and Heart aches.. YOU know that I love YOU still.. don't be afraid because I am only here to love YOU and show YOU what it means to be loved.. just open your Heart and let me tell YOU that I love you.. as I would end with the letter
I just can't stop looking at this Little Piano.. why is it keep on telling me to come Near.. and I am thinking of YOU.. I need your Heart.. I need your Heart here with Me.. that is only way I can tell YOU what is IN my Heart.. I am asking YOU.. Heart to Heart.. Please.. tell me can I have your Heart close to Me.. so that I can tell YOU.. I love YOU.. I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I want to say that I love you like I am so Crazy in Love with YOU.. Please.. How can I have your Heart close to Me.. I turn to look at the Little Piano.. it is telling me to play a tune.. telling me to touch the Key bars.. that Only it is fingers away from the Touch.. if I can only play.. If I can only write the Music.. compose a Song.. write a Music so that YOU can hear something Out of this Little Piano.. but.. I know that I can't play a tune.. I can't make a sound.. it just be so noisy in your ears.. the tunes will Not sound right which it should make you feel something very special but If I play on this Little Piano.. instead of smiling.. YOU can be angry with me instead saying.. WHY can't I play a Good music that makes you smile and makes you happy.. that is why I am telling YOU I can't play.. but the Little Piano who is in my room.. is looking at me telling me.. I want to play something for YOU.. to tell you that I love YOU.. I have the Recorder in my Hand.. and I put a tape inside the recorder.. and on the Top of the desk is the Empty Glass Jar.. inside is Your Picture.. I took your Picture and someone was able to make it pretty big.. the Picture I put inside the Glass Jar.. I can see your Beautiful Face.. only if YOU were in this room.. Only If I can have your Heart.. and Place your Heart inside the Glass Jar next to Your Picture.. I am able to tell YOU something.. I would turn to look at the Little Piano.. I would ask.. would you let me Play.. even though I would Not be able to play anything.. I can push the Play Button of the Recorder and the Instrument of a Piano.. a Professional Pianist can Play.. I would stand next to the Little Piano.. can Act like I can Play.. when YOU hear the sound of the Music coming Out of the Recorder of playing the Piano.. I would turn and I would LOOK at the Desk.. I would look at your Picture.. I would Look at the Heart.. only If I have your Heart.. I be saying to YOU.. I have written YOU a Letter.. I wrote it last Night.. I was thinking about this very night so I had to write it.. and I had to memorize what I wrote to YOU in the Letter to tell YOU.. Can YOU hear the Song.. the Instrumental of this Piano Playing.. If YOU look towards me who is standing by the Little Piano.. YOU can be pretty confused because It looks like I am playing the Piece of Music.. Yes.. my fingers are pressing into the Key Bars of this Little Piano.. but.. I have turned off the sound that comes Out of this Piano because.. the recorder is playing instead.. Can YOU hear the Music of this Piano Playing.. Please if YOU can't.. Open your ears.. Please tell me that YOU can hear Me.. Please.. open your Heart for me and listen to the Sound of this Music of Piano.. the Instrumental Playing.. I want to give you this Song.. I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I know that YOU are hearing the Sound of this Little Piano Playing.. it is what I will say to YOU.. that I love YOU.. My Heart can't take it no more.. My fingers pressing.. hands wants to pound on this Key Bars on this Piano.. when ever I think of YOU.. when ever I want to say I love YOU.. I can hear my own Heart.. telling me It wants to beat faster.. it beats faster because I needs to say it and tell YOU that I love YOU.. as I turn to look at the desk.. Looking at the Glass Jar.. I am looking at your Picture.. and.. Only if Your Heart be placed inside.. I be crying Out Loud.. I love YOU.. you do not know what YOU have done to me but I want to say that I love YOU.. as I turn to look at the Little Piano.. I feel so sad.. I feel so happy but sad again.. because all I see is myself.. I don't see YOU.. But I needs to see YOU.. I want to see you.. I needs your Heart here with me.. so that I can tell your Heart.. I do not know How long.. but I have to say to Your Heart.. I love you.. How Long.. I will say it I love YOU.. looking at the Little Piano.. I know that It feels My Heart.. it knows My Heart because it knows my Heart.. I believe the Little Piano hears my voice.. as I am playing and touching the Key bars.. it knows that I love YOU.. knowing how much I needs to be with YOU.. but I will say.. YOU are so Far off.. WHY do you have to be so Far that I can't see YOU.. I wants to find a way where YOU can be near.. will you let me come close to YOU.. Please let me know because.. I want to take this Little Piano with Me.. and stand next to YOU.. I would turn to LOOK at you.. and I will tell YOU.. this is the Little Piano I was talking to Your About.. every Night.. I would turn to look at this Little Piano.. I feel stuffy inside.. sometimes I feel frustrated because I want to be close to YOU.. when I feel so stuffy inside.. I get close to this Little Piano.. and I would turn it on.. where when My Fingers touch the key bars.. and it presses into it.. YOU can hear the sounds of each key bar when YOU press it down.. it makes a noises.. and as my fingers touch and presses into the key bars.. I want to play you a Song.. making a Music and I would face the Wall.. Only if YOU can be right there.. Only if YOU can be that close to Me.. and I would say.. WHY do you have to be so Far.. that I can't find YOU any where.. I can't see YOU any where.. I want to tell YOU so that YOU can hear me but I know that NO matter how much I speak.. or how much my fingers press into the Key bars of this Little Piano and YOU can hear sounds out of the Little Piano.. YOU can't hear me.. it breaks my Heart.. I needs to say It.. I needs to tell YOU that I love YOU.. if I say it to YOU.. I know that I can see YOU to get a certain response.. but in this ROOM.. with the Glass Jar and Your Picture inside of it.. YOU can't never hear me.. that is why it kills me inside because I want to play for you something.. but I know that I can't.. I know that I can't play you a song.. even if YOU were standing here close to me.. I know that the sound will Not come out right.. but. I know that as long as I have a Heart who loves YOU.. I can at least tell YOU what is in my Heart.. that I wants to be with YOU.. I wants to be close to YOU and that I miss YOU.. that I want to say How much I love YOU.. No matter how many times I say it in this ROOM.. you will never hear my words.. this is what is hurting Me the Most.. this is what is killing me inside that I needs to say it to YOU.. but I can't.. I needs to tell YOU but I can't.. the word Can't is driving me crazy right Now.. as I stop the recorder.. and I am standing by the Little Piano.. I am aching so Much.. It is hurting me so Much.. this Pain.. when YOU love so much.. it can also Hurt you the Most because it drives YOU mad.. it drives YOU crazy to see your Face but I can't.. so If you are telling me to wait.. How Long must I wait for YOU to know Your Heart.. How long must I wait.. as I open the recorder.. I put another tape inside the recorder.. and I would push Play to record.. Can YOU hear my voice.. Can you hear me Now. I am looking at the Little Piano.. which I can't play at all.. but it has been with me for a long time.. wanting me to play a tune.. to bring out a sound and make a music with this Little Piano.. for me to play this Little Piano.. I needs you to be here.. I want you to stand next to me so that I can stand next to YOU and show YOU that only when YOU are here.. I am able to do something with it.. only way this Little Piano can bring out the music and the sound is when YOU are here with me.. I can't play anything.. and I won't play it because.. I want you to be here to see it.. I will be standing next to the Little Piano.. and My fingers will be placed on the key bars.. and I would put the Letter I wrote for you.. I want YOU to hold the Letter.. and YOU can read it while I play and I can say it to YOU.. as YOU are standing next to me.. I don't need the Heart to be inside of the Glass Jar.. I don't need to put Your Picture inside of it either.. I want YOU to be here standing next to me.. to hear it as I show YOU how Much I love YOU.. I would be.. my fingers would be pressing onto the Key bars.. and I would turn to look at YOU.. I may not be able to show YOU the voice.. I can't sing at all.. I won't sing to you at all but.. I would press the recorder and let YOU Hear my voice on the Recorder of what I said.. I would let it all Out to tell YOU that I loved YOU.. from the day I first saw YOU.. the moment I had to be far away.. as I would be facing the Walls at night.. going Out at Night looking at the Moon.. watching the showers of the rains fall down on me as I would be playing the Little Piano out side.. My Heart was burning because I kept on missing YOU.. even I would think that the showers of the rain.. it is going to cool me down.. this burning in my heart of Loving YOU and of missing YOU together.. I saw the rain falling from the sky.. I took with me the Little Piano.. and stood.. getting Hit by the rain.. and I would be playing.. fingers would press on the key bars.. and I would open up my Heart to YOU as I would stand looking at the MOON.. asking do YOU Hear me now.. DO you hear me from here where I stand.. I would be crying in the rain because I be missing YOU.. Nothing ever worked Out but.. I wanted you to stand next to me.. maybe this is it.. and giving YOU the Letter.. I press the recorder so that YOU can hear me.. what I needs to say.. and I would tell YOU this.. I been missing YOU lately.. is it because I am growing older.. Maybe.. is it because I am thinking you may forget me.. or is it because YOU may find another Love.. it is None of those things because I know who I love.. when YOU are sure about who YOU love
Stopped loving YOU.. can you still here the Little Piano Playing.. I am playing to tell YOU as you read the Letter.. I love YOU.. I have told you many times that I loved YOU.. do you not still believe me yet.. YOU are wondering.. when am I going to give up on you right.. as long as YOU know right now.. I still love YOU.. why would I give up on you.. when YOU are my Heart Beat away.. I know that I be seeing you very soon.. I would turn to look at you as I am playing on the Little Piano.. as YOU are standing next to me.. I would say to YOU.. I took this Little Piano Out side.. there were nights when you find Peace in the Night.. standing Out side.. alone with this Little Piano.. I would turn to look at the Moon.. I would only see your Face in the center of the Moon.. with Your Smile.. my arm stretches out.. my hand opens wide to touch.. I wanted to touch YOU but YOU were so far.. I saw you in the center of the Moon.. I could Not touch you with this Hand.. but.. I would play on this Piano.. on this Little Piano I would try to play a song.. I would look UP at the MOON and say.. DO you Hear Me.. I know that I will see YOU SOON.. I know that I will meet YOU soon.. of course I don't know when.. I have NO time Line but I know.. if YOU KNOW WHO is the One loving YOU.. I know that YOUR Heart will be opened.. I know that YOUR Ears be opened too.. and I believe YOU want that man to Love you over and over again.. because I want to Love YOU.. just as YOU are.. just the way YOU are suppose to be loved.. and my fingers stop pressing on the Little Piano.. and I turn to look at YOU.. I say.. I love you.. just the way this Little Piano Loves to play a tune to make a sound of its music for YOU.. I just wanted to say.. it is because I love YOU.. I am listening to the Song I am playing on this Piano.. of course I am Not a composer.. I can't write any music.. but I have the Letter I have written just for YOU.. Only YOU can hear the Words that is coming Out of My Mouth.. which it was written last Night before I went to Bed.. I just could Not sleep.. I would be tossing and turning on the side.. I would be laying.. Looking at the wall of the ROOM.. my Heart was Beating Hard from the Inside.. which kept me waking UP.. I would try to close the two eyes.. shut I would close.. but I would see YOU in my Head.. in my Mind I see YOU and I would think of YOU.. opening both eyes does Not work because My Heart is beating Hard.. I would sit on top of the bed.. trying to lay back Down and again I would sit.. I would look across is the Desk.. maybe it is telling me to write YOU another Letter.. why do I have to keep On picking UP the Pen.. putting the White Piece of paper before my eyes.. I would pull the chair closer and I would sit.. but the Night.. it is like deep into the Night.. where I am suppose to be sleeping the Most.. But I would have your picture on the Top of the Desk.. I turn on the side looking at the Door.. I see the Little Piano.. it is waiting for Me.. by the Door which it leads me to the Living ROOM.. the Little Piano looks.. and I look at the Little Piano.. it is telling me to Play so that I can tell YOU.. what is IN MY HEART which it says IN my Heart I love YOU.. I love you so Much that I am Not sure how much to Love any More.. do I have to love you so More.. but How BIG and Wide must this Love must carry through.. How can YOU tell.. but I would look at the Little Piano on the side by the door.. and I know.. I may Not be able to play a SONG.. it may Not come Out right.. YOU will not hear it right.. then.. How about the Letter.. maybe the Letter can over come and the Music YOU listen with YOUR ears of the TUNE of this Piano.. it may Not affect Your Hearing Loss.. but when YOU hear the Words.. the Letter.. I will let YOU hear the Letter that I am writing this Very Night.. as I turn the Other way is the Window.. pulling the Curtains UP.. I can see the Window.. and I can see the MOON from where I am sitting in this Room.. and I look at the Moon as I am sitting.. turning to the Moon.. thinking of YOU.. grabbing the Picture and looking at YOU through this Picture.. What am I suppose to do.. when can I see YOU.. when can YOU hear my Heart.. the Out cry that Comes from within me.. I want to tell YOU I love YOU.. I want to say to YOU that I love YOU so Much.. will you let me tell you these words of Mine to YOU.. will you let me ever come close to YOU and tell YOU how much I love YOU.. How about the times having when I really Really Missed YOU.. I want to pour a Wine on the Glass.. and I want to drink.. take a sip of the Wine of the Glass cup.. taking a Sip and when I face you.. when I see YOU.. I will be first approaching YOU.. holding Your Hands.. It has been so Long I have been waiting.. it took more than thousand days.. even ten thousand days had to pass me by.. how many weeks does it needs to pass by for YOU to ever miss Me.. How many Months does it needs to take for YOU to Miss me.. How many years must it pass by for YOU to miss me and see My Heart.. when will YOU KNOW that I be loving YOU for so Long.. do YOU know that every Night I miss YOU.. I can turn.. looking at the MOON.. if YOU ever have some time.. and when the Day turns into Night.. Please step Out side.. just once in a blue MOON will do.. as I be walking Out side.. Holding the Letter In my Hands.. I would be walking and I stop.. I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. and I would hold UP the Paper.. the Letter in my Hands.. and I would say.. if YOU hear me.. and the Little Piano is there with Me.. as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. my hands.. my fingers would be pressing the Key Bars.. I am Not sure what kind of sounds YOU can be hearing.. it is good that YOU are ON the Other Side.. if YOU can't hear the Key.. the sounds and the Tunes of this Piano.. I think it can be good for those ears.. instead of hearing the Words that I speak coming from the Heart which I would memorize the Written Words I have written in the Letter for YOU.. YOU may Not hear my words right.. I would be hitting the Key bars.. it is making a lot of sounds and a lot of noises on this Piano.. as I am pressing the Key Bars which it is bring Sounds Out.. I am Looking UP.. turning to the MOON.. and I know.. I can see Your Face inside the Moon.. as I would close my two eyes.. I would say.. DO you Hear Me.. do I must speak Louder to YOU for the waves to go across.. do I needs to Lose my Voice for YOU to hear me Now.. I been waiting for YOU.. but YOU have Not showed UP yet.. I have been waiting for Your Answer.. WHY can't YOU tell me that YOU Miss me.. why can't YOU be truly Honest with me for Once.. Please tell me that YOU love me Too.. Please tell me that YOU also can miss Me.. I been holding IN for a Long time.. I wanted to say it.. to tell YOU that I am missing you so Much right Now.. I am Not even looking at the Key Bars of this Little Piano.. so I have NO idea what I am playing.. If YOU were here.. I know you would tell me to Stop playing on that Little Piano because YOUR ears will Hurt.. and that is why I just can't stop.. if YOU can be hear and hear the sounds of this Little Piano which I am bringing Out some kind of Noise.. YOU will tell me to Stop because It is hurting Your Ears.. that is HOW MY Heart feels at this Point.. that I can't stop that It hurts if I choose to stop.. If I cannot tell YOU that I don't love you.. it hurts me more than the Tune.. the Playing.. the SOUND and the Noise.. It will kill me if YOU tell me to Stop telling YOU that I love YOU.. I can't breath.. I love that I love YOU.. I love the thoughts that I can tell YOU that I love YOU.. to able to tell you this is My Dreams come true.. dreaming of the Day.. I can hold Your hands and truly.. PULL you closer to Me.. and I will speak softly into Your ears.. and I will tell YOU one Hundred times.. How much I love YOU.. and I will tell YOU One thousand times.. how much I will love YOU.. I will cry if I can't say it to YOU any more.. I will sit and ball hard like a Child.. like a baby I can cry if I can't tell YOU that I love YOU.. I have been loving YOU for so Long.. WHY can't YOU see that In me.. I have been here all along.. why can't you accept it.. because it is NOT enough for YOU.. I am trying Hard to tell YOU.. I been here telling YOU that I love YOU.. the Joy that brings into my Heart.. when I am allowed to say it.. to tell it the way it is meant to be said.. I want to tell you that I love YOU.. as I am looking UP at the Moon.. I can feel the tears.. My Heart is burning.. My Heart is beating Hard.. my fingers pressing into the Little Piano.. I am Looking UP at the MOON at Night.. making all kinds of Sounds and Noises YOU just don't want to Hear.. that is why I am here on the Other side which You can't Hear it.. but the Words I am telling.. the Words I been writing to YOU all this time.. Letting YOU know that It is my Heart.. It is the Pencil which I pick UP.. it is the Piece of paper.. and writing to YOU which makes me Happy.. gives me Hopes and to dream Bigger for YOU and to love YOU more and more.. as my fingers stops pressing on the Key bars of this Little Piano.. I would still Look UP at the Moon.. and I would say in the Loud voice.. DO YOU hear Me.. can YOU Please Hear me standing here on the Other side.. I am waiting for YOU.. that is why when YOU take the TIME to come Out.. Please come out at Night.. when YOU can stand out alone.. and YOU can see the MOON above YOU.. what YOU will see is not Me playing on the Little Piano.. YOU are not going to see a Letter with two wings flying down to YOU.. But the MOON is going to show you the Tears that came Out of my eyes.. comes Out from the Heart.. comes Out from my Mind and my thoughts of thinking of YOU.. YOU will see the Moon so differently because the MOON will shows YOU tears.. My Tears because I love YOU.. My Tears because I miss YOU.. My Tears because YOU do Not understand my Heart.. But that is Okay If
At your Picture.. wishing that I can be with YOU.. Can YOU hear me on the other side.. that is why I would stand here alone.. LOOKING at the MOON.. I would cry before the Moon.. because I want YOU to Hear Me.. I want you to able to receive what I can give.. I wish that YOU can Hear me.. but All I see is the MOON before me.. It does not Move.. Does not make any kinds of expression.. It does not speak back to Me.. but I still see the MOON standing still.. How do I get this Letter to YOU.. How am I suppose to deliver this Letter to YOU.. can you please show me the way to Your Heart.. please show me How can this Letter get into your hands.. as I grab the Little Piano into my Hands.. and I am walking back to the House.. and slowly I am walking away from the Moon.... the Door opens and I go into the House.. I am in the ROOM.. looking at the Letter on the Top of the desk.. and I am sitting on the Chair.. Looking at the Picture of YOU.. How can this Letter get to YOU.. what am I suppose to do for YOU to know.. that I needs to give YOU this Letter.. and even though I sit here by the desk and I write YOU a Letter.. I am wondering.. DO I ever come cross your Mind.. that means do YOU even read the Letters.. and I would look at Your Picture.. I want YOU to know that I love YOU.. I want you to know that I needs to give you this Letter so that my Heart Knows that I love YOU.. will you accept the Letters I write to YOU.. Please tell me so.. Please tell me that YOU do read it which I give you from the Heart.. I am laying on the Bed.. trying to go back to the bed.. I am turning on the side.. but I know that I can't sleep.. YOU are always on my Mind.. YOU are always in my Heart.. I think of YOU over and over.. NO matter How much I try to do something else.. I keep on think of YOU.. I see YOU everywhere.. what does this Means to YOU.. it means because I love YOU.. I need YOU and I miss YOU.. but I love YOU the Most.. I am in the Room.. Looking out the window.. I see the rain showering down.. I would like to walk in the rain.. but it be nice If I take this Piano with Me.. I have written YOU another Letter.. I wonder if YOU can Hear Me Now.. I know that just standing Out alone.. and Turning to LOOK up.. LOOKING at the Moon and just speaking to the MOON.. that Moon does Not Hear Me.. so I am trying something New.. something different so that Maybe the MOON can catch the glimpse of Me.. and Can turn to LOOK at Me.. and Hear me.. I am trying to grab and get the attention of that MOON.. so maybe I can bring Out this Little Piano that I bought.. and PUT it outside.. and I can Hit the Keys.. making the Sounds.. and with the Recorder in my hand.. and Push the Recording Button as I can open this Letter.. which I have written just for YOU and share it.. If YOU can Hear Me.. Can the Moon hear me Now.. if I can get the MOON to get closer to Me.. I can ask the MOON.. and show the MOON the Picture of YOU.. and ask the MOON.. if YOU see this Person.. in the Picture.. can YOU do something for Me.. will you send me an Angel.. call an Angel for Me.. and I will show the Angel the Picture of YOU.. and I would open the Recorder.. and give the Angel the Tape I have recorded and If the Angel can do me a favor.. that I have One Wish.. to give this Tape to YOU.. and YOU can hear my Voice.. YOU can hear me say and tell YOU what is deep in my Heart.. as I would speak to the recorder to tell YOU.. HOW much I miss YOU.. How Much I want to be close to YOU.. I know that if I just appear out of the Blue.. I don't want to scare YOU.. I don't want YOU to think that I am stalking YOU because I am Not.. so Maybe the MOON.. which hears me Press the Key notes and making the Sounds of pressing the Key bars can turn to Hear and Notice me that I am here down Below.. and If the MOON comes closer.. I will ask.. DO you know any angels who can do me favor.. because I have One wish.. Not asking Much but just for ONE wish.. so I will tell the MOON.. Please get me an Angel to come at my aid.. and If I see the Angel.. I will give HIM the picture of YOU and the tape which I have recorded over and also if YOU need the Letter.. I will give this Angel the Letter too.. just in case YOU want to read this Letter of Mine.. as I am looking out the window.. looking at the rain pouring down.. I have the Piano.. the Little Piano with Me.. I want to take it Out.. I want to go out side and play the Piano.. of course I don't know how to Play.. so If you hear the back ground and It does Not sound right.. YOU know that it is Me.. it is Me who is pressing the Key bars.. just pressing because I want YOU to hear me.. Please hear Me.. Please hear me what I needs to say and to tell YOU.. that I love YOU.. why do I love you this way.. I love you in a way YOU can say.. I am creative with what I do.. I am looking at the Little Piano.. Looking at Your Picture.. and I would say to my self.. I miss YOU.. I really really Miss YOU.. just watching the rain fall and the shower of the rain coming down from the sky.. It makes me more miss YOU.. I wish that I did not have to Miss YOU.. but for some reason.. this very Night I really miss YOU.. the way my Heart truly feels is this.. grabbing an Empty Glass Jar.. I want to pull out My Heart from my chest.. grab a Knife and stab my Heart right in the Middle and put the wounded Heart.. the One with the scars.. Put it inside the Glass jar.. watching my Heart be bleeding.. I feel like I am slowly dying instead.. as I look at the Blood gushing Out of my Heart and I see my own blood filling UP the Glass Jar with my Heart still inside it.. I be looking at it.. and I would take the Little Piano Out side.. does Not matter How wet I get.. But I feel like I am dying inside for YOU.. because I miss YOU.. as I am out side.. standing in the rain.. getting wet by the Rain.. I would also bring the Glass Jar.. with My Heart and the Blood filled.. and let YOU see It.. I would ask the Moon.. do YOU not feel sorry for Me.. Do you not see How much I am in pain and that I am suffering so much right Now.. and I would push the recording Button of the recorder.. pressing with my fingers of the key Bars.. telling YOU what I wrote.. I would memorize the Letter I wrote to YOU.. in the Rain.. I am calling Out for YOU.. crying Out for YOU.. can YOU see my Heart.. DO you want to see My Heart.. if YOU can't see it.. I have brought the Glass Jar.. with my Heart inside.. I am missing YOU so much right Now.. I just don't know what to do.. what am I suppose to do when I miss You like this.. Please tell Me.. I have the tape with me.. with My Voice and words speaking into the recorder.. I am reading the Letter which I wrote.. I am reading as I am looking at the Heart.. LOOKING at my Heart inside the Glass Jar covered in Blood.. Please Help me to recover from this Wound and from the scars I feel in my Heart when I be missing YOU.. I just can't take this pain any more.. Please help me to Love again.. If I don't see YOU.. this is how My Heart feels right Now.. as I would look UP.. looking at the MOON.. I be pressing the key Bars of the Little Piano.. and I am crying.. crying because I want More than just this.. I want More of YOU.. I want to say it to your ears.. and tell YOU as I hold you near.. hold you near in my arms.. telling YOU.. why can't I tell YOU.. why can't I say it to YOU in person.. give me the chance to speak to YOU so that YOU can hear me clearly what is IN my Heart.. help me to love YOU more.. only way to can help me.. only way I can get to YOU.. Please Open Your Heart to me.. show me that YOU care.. show me that YOU are truly listening.. because many nights I am Not sure if YOU are or Not.. as My fingers are hitting.. banging on the Key Bars making sounds on this Little Piano.. I want to hear from YOU.. I needs to hear from YOU.. that YOU are listening on the Other side.. I only see the MOON.. but I can't see YOU.. I want to see YOU.. I want to see YOU near.. and as I would press the stop button of the tape recorder.. I stand still.. getting more wet by the rain.. showers of water of rain on me.. My arm stretches Out.. my hand opens out.. towards the MOON.. How can I get to YOU.. How can I get Your attention.. How do I get YOU to notice Me.. I know that I am very small as a person.. but the way I love YOU.. the size of How much I love YOU.. If YOU can come Outside at Night.. My Heart of loving YOU can be as big as the MOON I am looking at.. if YOU look at the MOON.. the same Moon I am looking at.. that is HOW MUCH I love YOU.. that is How much I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. even though my Heart breaks.. I can feel my Heart be breaking on the Night like this because I love YOU.. and because I miss YOU.. why don't you ever see Me.. why don't you ever notice Me.. YOU know that I been hear all this Long.. I been here all this Time telling YOU that it is real.. it is true that I be loving YOU.. YOU needs to see that and believe it too. Please give me a chance to Love YOU.. Please give me One Chance.. One shot is all I am asking for.. Not even a day but even few minutes of the time is all I am asking for.. But I am asking YOU.. that Only YOU can make me smile.. as I see the Rain stopped.. and I am standing alone out side.. I am soaked wet because of the shower of rains would pour down on me.. I would pull out the Letter.. of course the Letter is soaked wet too.. but I can still see the writings.. and I would look at the wet recorder and press the Button of the recording.. and the little Piano has a stand.. so I would place the Glass jar on top of the Little Piano.. and after Opening the Letter.. I would lift UP my head towards and I would look at the MOON.. DO you hear Me.. can YOU Please hear me.. ON this very Night.. I am want to speak to YOU.. would you let me speak because this is the Only thing I can do for right Now.. I want to show YOU this Glass Jar.. I want to take this
Time I been waiting and just kept on missing YOU.. every time I write YOU a Letter.. and I think of YOU and every time I take a Look at your Picture.. I can feel something inside of me wants to cry.. I want to cry More as I keep on missing YOU.. holding YOU in my arms is my first Wish.. and the second is to tell YOU how much I love YOU and how much I missed you.. that I know one day it needs to stop.. that I do not have to miss YOU any more.. I am standing Out here.. LOOKING UP at the MOON.. when would that TIME BE.. when I can stop be missing YOU.. I would be wiping these tears.. most of the nights are very harsh for Me.. because my arms.. my arms wants to hold YOU.. hold you close and hold you still.. just to feel you close and that I get to call YOU mine forever.. will you Let that Happen to me.. Please tell me that I do have a hope still.. that I still have a chance.. a hope to tell you that I need YOU.. I miss YOU and that I love YOU.. Please give me the hope so that I can dream being US together for ever.. I am just waiting for that day to come.. but some nights I would say when.. what if It never happens.. what if you don't want to see Me.. what if YOU are happy being there.. but what I want to say is that I need YOU.. I need you more and more.. so Please tell me that YOU do on the Other side think of me too.. and still there is HOPE for me.. as time goes by.. I start to lose more HOPE.. but when I just think of YOU.. when I say your Name.. call out your Name.. I can feel my Heart once again coming alive.. it is because I know ON my part.. I still do Love YOU and never given up that HOPE on you.. that Hope just to say I love YOU.. the Hope to write YOU a Letter and tell you what is in my Heart.. I just Love YOU.. that I can't live with out you.. that I know that I needs YOU.. and as I am looking at the Little Piano in front of Me and on the Top of the Little Piano is the Glass jar.. looking at my Heart just sitting inside.. my Blood covers and has filled UP.. as I want to show YOU.. I want to show YOU this Heart of Mine.. to tell YOU.. it happens when I think of YOU and when I be missing YOU the Most.. I just can't get YOU off my Mind.. I just can't get YOU off my Head.. off my Heart.. and it feels this way.. LOOKING Up at the MOON.. I feel so sad in the days when I can't see YOU.. only thing my eyes can see is Your Picture.. I guess just the picture just don't cut it when YOU love.. when YOU start to love.. I want More.. More of YOU as I am missing YOU at the same time.. IT did not help at all when the Rain poured down as it showered from the SKY.. it did Not help me at all because I started to miss YOU more and more.. My Heart hurts.. and it aches when I don't see YOU.. that is why I be missing YOU all along.. when can I see YOU.. I am looking at the Piano.. as I would walk into the room.. I look at your Picture.. wishing that YOU can see what I just got.. even though YOU may be far from Me.. at least send me Your Heart.. if I can have your Heart.. I will keep Your Heart safe here with Me.. looking at the Empty Glass jar.. I would Place the Empty Glass Jar on the TOP of the Piano.. and I wish that I can Place your Heart inside this Empty Glass Jar.. even though YOU are far.. Knowing and Looking at your Heart.. I know that YOUR HEART is close with me.. I pull up the Piano Chair closer to the Piano.. and I would sit on the chair.. only if I can get You here.. will YOU ever come closer to Me.. How do I get you closer to Me.. and I would look at the key bars of the Piano.. But.. I can't play the tune.. I can't even sing with my voice.. just sitting here.. it seems like it be better if I was Not here at the first Place.. But.. I can write YOU a Letter.. I know that I can tell YOU how much I miss YOU.. I can tell YOU with the Words.. with the Lips.. with my voice.. What I truly feel deep inside my Heart.. I put all my time when I grab the Pencil.. when I grab the paper.. and I grab the piece of paper.. I know that for sure I can write and tell you.. How I feel.. How it feels to be me here on the Other side.. as long as the Letter is able to get to YOU.. will you please receive the Letters.. will you please unfold the piece of Paper which be folded when I give it to YOU.. will you please open your Heart.. hear the words of Mine that comes from my Heart.. how much I love YOU.. How much I adore YOU and admire YOU and How much I miss YOU too.. you are wondering.. what is it about the Piano.. why am I bringing UP the word Piano to YOU if I can't sing.. or can't play tunes of the keys of the piano to bring Music alive.. why am I telling YOU or sharing you about the Piano.. because I want YOU to know.. I want to Place Your Heart.. I want to place your Heart on this Empty Glass Jar.. which is on top of the Piano.. so that when I look at Your Heart.. I can learn How to play the Piano.. it make take some time for me to Know How to Play.. but when I look at your Heart.. when I look at your Heart inside the empty glass jar.. I would look at your Heart.. it may inspire me to say I love you in a way YOU never felt before.. I would think of many different ways to tell YOU.. that I love YOU and that I want to say to Your Heart first.. I would like to tell Your Heart first so that YOU can truly trust me with Your Precious Heart.. without any trust.. there is NO way I can love YOU where YOU are able to love me back One day.. that is why I need Your Heart first with Me.. I remember when I was Young.. my Mother wanted me to Learn something new.. and bought a Piano for Me.. I wanted to learn something New.. wanted to tell a story through but when my Mother bought the Piano.. it was just too complicated for me to learn.. I would watch the Teacher come.. and she would play on the Piano.. I wish that I learned at that time because Now.. when I look at you.. I would LOOK at your Picture.. and I would say WOW.. I would say YOU are so Beautiful.. I would stand by the Piano and say.. YOU are as beautiful like the Piano because Now.. I want to play and make a Music for YOU.. I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I want to tell YOU MORE.. I want to step Out of the comfort zone and tell YOU what YOU means to me.. when ever I look at you.. through the Picture.. I would regret when I look at the Piano sitting in the Room.. because.. Now I want to play and make music so that I can tell YOU.. even though I may Not be able to sing YOU a SONG.. I would bring a recorder.. and would record my voice.. as my fingers would press on the key bars of the Piano.. I can at least speak to the recorder.. but before I would play on the Piano making Music to come alive.. I would be sitting in my bed room.. taking Out the Piece of paper.. I would write YOU a Letter first.. telling YOU my Heart.. speaking from my Heart.. and writing that comes from My Heart to let YOU know.. the Letter is Not the Only way I can tell YOU my Heart.. I would sit on the Piano Chair.. regretting because I did Not learn at that time.. I had the chance to learn when I was young.. but I only watched the teacher play.. looking at her back as she played and making Music.. pressing the Key bars.. to the sound of my ears it tingled because she Played so well.. if I only learned from that teacher.. only if I took the time to be more serious about learning the keys.. composing and writing the music Notes.. the keys.. I wonder what could of happened Now.. if I learned at that time.. which My Mother would say.. It be wise to learn this kind of instrument because when it is gone.. YOU will regret it when TIME passes by.. I would stand by the Piano.. I would sit on the Piano Chair.. looking at the key bars.. pressing the key bars.. only sounds but weird sounds will hit.. and I feel so terrible Not because I wish that I learned.. so that I can play for YOU.. so that I can tell YOU.. there is Much more ways to Tell YOU how much I love YOU.. I would even take the Piano out side.. even looking at the MOON in the Night.. when I miss YOU.. when I know that YOU are so Far away and I keep on missing YOU.. at least.. with tears in my eyes of Not able to hold YOU.. unable to be close to YOU and It hurts some nights.. I can play the Piano in the Night.. telling YOU.. looking UP at the MOON.. as my fingers hits the Key bars bringing music.. I would be pulling Out the Letter that is written for YOU and tell YOU a story of How much I love YOU.. if the neighbors would come out telling me about the Noises.. I would turn to that person and say.. DID YOU ever miss someone.. when it hurts.. it just hurts so much when YOU start missing.. I needs to say.. I needs to tell YOU this Heart of Mine.. there are times that it feels so painful.. it hurts.. I see tear drops out of my eyes.. so to take this anger out of My Heart for Missing YOU.. I needs to play YOU a SONG.. this Piano is my friend.. helps me to express what I feel when I am dealing with so Much sorrow in me.. that I love YOU but I miss YOU more.. why.. why do you keep on making me feel this way.. when YOU are so far off.. what am I suppose to do when I miss YOU.. and only thing that I can do is taking out the Picture.. the only thing I can do is pull the Picture out of my pocket.. and LOOK at YOU.. do YOU know How it feels when YOU just can't do nothing.. but only thing I can do is look at you in this Picture.. but I needs to tell YOU that I needs to be with YOU.. I needs to get this Off my Chest.. Off my Heart that I needs to be with YOU.. and it hurts me so much because I am dying right Now without YOU in my life.. and to keep my Anger and this pain.. this suffering away.. if I look at the Piano.. and I am able to pull the Piano chair closer.. and able to play the tunes of the Piano pressing on the key bars.. I know that I can tell YOU what I have written.. pressing the recorder.. as I am in the ROOM.. I would open up my Heart and say.. I miss YOU.. I am not sure why I am missing YOU so much right Now.. and I be
Smaller where I can take it out side so that YOU can hear the key bars.. when you hear the sound of the Music coming out of the Piano.. YOU know that It is me.. which I am telling YOU.. I am hurting right Now.. I miss YOU right Now.. where are YOU so that I can tell YOU my Heart.. Please come Out.. come Out and hear this Piano playing.. making the Music to come alive.. only if YOU knew this Heart of Mine.. every time I am sad.. every time I feel this Pain.. every time I want to cry.. when I be missing YOU.. I will be playing the Piano out side.. where if YOU are able to see the MOON on the Other side.. YOU can hear me.. that I am crying right Now.. I am missing YOU right Now.. so you know that it is me on the Other side looking for YOU.. I am missing YOU.. I am missing YOU because YOU are so far away.. where are YOU.. Please tell me so that I know that How you be doing.. tell me so that I can go to YOU like the wind.. as I am standing.. I am looking at the Piano in the room.. I have the letter in my hand and On the Other hand I have your Picture.. thinking of YOU.. and just loving YOU even though I am not sure if I would ever meet YOU.. will I ever see YOU.. can YOU Please tell me that I can see YOU soon.. or do YOU want me to pull the Piano.. the smaller Piano and walk out side.. do YOU want to hear me playing.. when I play on this Piano.. just please remember I am wailing and I am crying on the Other side because I need YOU.. I need YOU and I love YOU.. but for most I am missing YOU.. between us.. it hurts of the Longing and waiting for YOU.. and many nights I be thinking.. what If YOU never show UP.. what if YOU never come to Me.. what if this is nothing but.. and I would ask this kind of question.. but at the same time.. It is good for my Heart to tell YOU even if it is written how much I love YOU.. to able to explore and express and share.. to tell YOU that I really love YOU.. that I won't give UP until I have YOU in my arms and when that day Comes.. in my arms I will tell YOU looking at Your Ears.. how much I love YOU and How much I missed YOU.. longing day and night just to see YOU very close to me.. and I turn to look at the mail Box.. and I would walk toward the mail box and open.. and put the envelop inside and close the mail box door.. I am looking at the truck.. I am not sure why this Truck is in front of the Mail Box.. I would look out the window but I don't see anyone inside the Truck.. I don't see any movement inside the Truck.. I am putting the Letter into the envelope.. folding the piece of paper into half.. this time I wrote two Letters and putting into One Envelope.. just letting YOU know how much I can't stop telling YOU the way I feel.. My Heart wants to burst.. like my Head wants to Burst.. my eyes wants to burst into tears.. as I would fold the two Letters putting into One envelope.. Looking out the window.. I don't see any One.. I don't see the mail man either.. it has been sitting by the Mail box for few hours Now.. I just did not want to go Out but.. then.. what do I do with the two letters I wrote you this Letters.. if there is No Mail man to drive this Truck.. is that Means I can be the Mail Man tonight.. is this Truck for Me.. is it for me to drive.. so is it time for me to see YOU finally.. maybe I can put the Uniform and can act like I be Your Mail man.. of course I am going to tell YOU that the Letters.. which I wrote is me.. If you are to ask Me.. where is the Other Mail man.. I would tell YOU.. I think he is sick so I have come to drive this Truck.. the Time has come for me to finally see YOU.. to tell YOU that it is Me.. all this Time.. I been sitting in my room.. with the Piece of paper.. and the eraser.. with the pencil.. I would write YOU a Letter.. Looking at YOUR picture.. I would stare.. feeling my chest.. and when It starts to burn from the Inside.. I would wait till I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I would wait and wait.. and then picking UP the Pencil.. looking down at the Piece of Paper.. I would start to write YOU something that comes from the Inside.. speaking from my Mind.. speaking from my Heart.. I would open my Mouth and speak to the paper.. as I am watching my fingers hold unto the pencil.. and hand writing on the paper.. I see the piece of Paper with letters to sentences into paragraphs becoming long as I would keep on thinking of YOU to tell YOU this Heart of Mine.. But last night.. I was out side walking.. I saw the Moon above Me and I wanted to see YOU.. I asked the MOON.. when will be the GOOD TIME for me to see YOU.. and looking UP at the Moon.. do YOU think the TIME is right.. asking the Moon Above Me.. I wish that the Moon can speak Back because all I can do is LOOK UP at the MOON and just wait.. waiting can be Hard sometimes.. because what if I wait but the TIME will never come to Me.. what if I keep on waiting but there is NO answer on the Other side.. am I just waiting for Nothing.. I would look UP asking that MOON.. what if the TIME be never.. which I do not like to put myself in that situation.. what if Never comes.. what if I stand still like this and everything just stops or pauses before my eyes and Only thing I do is wait but only waiting continues.. I would stand still.. LOOKING UP.. my eyes.. and I would feel so sad.. and tears fills my eyes.. and I would say.. DO you know that I want to be Loved.. I want to hear what YOU have to say.. I want to hear the words I love YOU and I miss YOU from your Lips.. what if nothing ever happens.. and I would stand in the Night.. LOOKING UP at the sky.. LOOKING at the MOON and only thing I can do is wait.. just wait until YOU are truly ready.. what if YOU never wants to be ready.. or YOU end up loving someone else.. as I would think about this.. the tears would run down.. my eyes.. I close my eyes and I open the two eyes.. two lines of tears streams down.. thinking about what If I just stand here and everything just stops.. or just pauses where I can never meet YOU.. as I would look.. I started to see rain.. rain started to fall from the sky.. and it was very light rain falling.. I am thinking.. it might be the MOON crying for Me.. Does that Moon hears me.. does the Moon understand the words coming Out of my Mouth.. Does the MOON knows how much I love YOU.. and How much I want to see YOU.. and I just would watch the Light rain falling down as I would get wet over the rain fall.. I would turn to look at the Window of My room.. and I would walk into the front door of my house.. grabbing a Bottle of whiskey and the shot Glass.. I would have your Picture in my Hand.. sitting on the chair by the desk in my room.. with the Piece of paper laying on top of the desk.. with the Big eraser and with the pencil next.. I would look at your Picture.. just wishing.. just hoping I can see YOU.. to meet you soon.. and I am just wondering.. would YOU let me see YOU.. would you open the door so that I can see YOU.. will you let me in.. and to hold Your hand.. as I would hold the Paper in my hand.. the Letter and give it to Your hand.. as I would open the TOP lid of the whiskey Bottle.. Holding and pouring into the Shot Glass.. and I am just sitting.. turning to look out the Window watching the light rain fall.. I would grab the Shot Glass after putting the Whiskey Bottle down.. and Open my Mouth and slam into my Mouth.. I can feel the harsh of the Liquor going in.. and I would sit just waiting for the Big Kick.. I would pour another on the Shot Glass and placing the Whiskey Bottle Down.. picking UP the Shot Glass.. Open my Mouth.. and Slam into my Mouth.. I am just waiting to feel that Buzz.. and just looking at YOU in the picture.. WHY can't I see YOU.. why don't you let me see YOU.. DID I ever done anything wrong to YOU.. would YOU let me visit YOU.. just please give me few minutes of your Time.. I am not asking for Hours but just even minutes is all I am asking for.. why can't YOU tell me that I am allowed.. please give me the permission to get close to YOU.. allow me for few minutes is all I need.. just to look at your eyes.. just too look at your hands.. Just to look at your smile.. just to ask if I can say Your Name.. can I say your name and tell YOU that I really Love YOU.. will you allow me to say that I love YOU.. Oh please tell me.. as I feel the kick from the Whiskey I drank.. I would look at the Whiskey Bottle.. half is empty.. did Not know that I drank this much.. but.. I just started to feel like I be missing YOU.. and it was aching me in my Heart.. I just could not stop putting the Whiskey Bottle Down.. I would watch the Shot Glass get filled.. hand grabs.. my Mouth opens wide and Slam the whiskey.. just could Not stop.. I would be looking at your Picture.. asking why can't I be with YOU.. asking why do I have to sit here and just can't see YOU.. hearing the rain falling as I turn to look out the window.. I would put the Whiskey Bottle down.. and the Shot Glass is emptied.. I would pick up the Pencil.. It is my Heart whose been loving YOU.. it is my Heart whose been waiting for YOU.. It is My Heart whose been asking for YOU.. It is my Heart whose been crying from the Inside.. screaming of this pain.. screaming of this Ache of wanting to be with YOU.. I need YOU more and More.. why can't YOU feel the same way as I do.. why is it me whose been loving YOU.. Please tell me.. Please allow me and give me the permission so that I can go to YOU.. so that I can run to YOU.. so that I can be with YOU and to tell you that I love YOU.. as I would look at the Piece of paper in front of me.. sitting on top of the desk.. I would take a look.. final look at your Picture.. and put your picture down on the top of the desk.. closing both eyes.. and I would picture YOU in my head.. and both eyes would open.. I am crying.. I am dying inside and Now I am crying.. as I would start to write on the piece of paper.. I am telling YOU.. My Heart is dying of Love.. my Heart is crying inside.. why
Oink Oink.. Feels like the Spring time.. as I am holding the Empty Glass Jar.. around my arms.. I am thinking of Your Heart.. I know that I am missing your Heart.. I want to see your Heart.. WILL you let me see that Heart of Yours.. and I am walking and I stop by this Tall Tree.. and I am wondering if it is this Tree.. I been waiting for this very day.. the weather Out side has been very cold.. looking at the Snow falling.. even it has been raining a lot around this time.. I could Not come to this Tree.. I do missing this Tree.. which I received a Note.. YOU be telling me to come to this Tree.. and I just could not come around for a while.. But.. I am here today.. wondering.. DID YOU leave your Heart here.. I had a dream.. dreaming of the day.. my arms can wrap around.. looking at YOU.. but.. asking if I can see your Heart.. if I am allowed to speak to your Heart.. will you let Me.. will you allow me to talk to Your Heart because that is all I want.. that is ALL I need.. I want to first tell Your Heart.. how much I love you.. but I needs to say It.. I needs to tell It to your Heart.. without Your Heart.. My Love will Not last.. it cannot go very far.. that is why I am asking first for Your Heart.. so Please.. tell me that YOU have left your Heart behind.. as I would sit on the ground.. I would pull out the Paper which was inside this Glass Jar.. I started to Miss you Last Night.. for some reason.. I started to Miss you all over again.. I would be sitting at the desk.. and ON the corner of the Desk.. I would put your Picture.. and as I turn to LOOK at the corner of the Desk.. I would grab Your Picture and I would take a closer LOOK at YOU.. looking through the Picture.. I would say to YOU.. even though YOU may Not hear me.. YOU may never hear my voice.. I would look at Your Picture.. looking at YOU.. I would smile and say to YOU LOOKING at the Picture.. I miss YOU.. and I do Love YOU.. but first.. why do I keep on missing YOU even though I have your Picture with me.. why do I keep telling myself but Looking at YOU through this Picture.. I know that YOU can't hear me now.. But I know.. I believe that One Day YOU will hear me Loud and clear.. Holding YOU close in my arms.. I will say to YOU.. LOOKING at and asking.. is this YOUR HEART.. can I tell YOUR HEART that I love YOU.. will you please let me say it.. that I love YOU.. as I would be looking at the Picture of YOU.. I be very sad.. because when I start to think about missing YOU.. I really really do Miss YOU.. and I would pull out a clean piece of paper.. there is nothing written but just a Blank sheet.. I would grab me the Pencil.. and of course I have Never seen Your Heart.. but start to draw a Picture of Your Heart.. thinking maybe this is How YOUR Heart Looks Like.. the shape and the size of It.. I wish that I can have a picture of Your Heart.. How Big is it.. the shape of It.. can I take A picture of It.. only If I can see YOU.. and YOU holding a Heart in the hands.. I want to click to take a Picture with the camera.. but.. only thing I can do at this Point.. just draw a Picture.. Picture of Your Heart.. and I would put.. Can I write My Name in Your Heart.. would you say something about It if I do.. Please tell me if YOU don't want me too.. because I want to write my Name in your Heart and speak to this Piece of paper of drawing of Your Heart.. I love YOU.. I want to say It.. and tell YOU what My Heart truly feels.. I received few months back.. a Note from You because I have been asking for Your Heart.. that I want to see your Heart.. I been calling YOU On the Phone.. only hearing your Voice.. that is all I can receive from YOU.. but.. I want More than just hearing your Voice.. that is why I started to ask.. If I can see Your Heart.. will you allow me to see Your Heart.. can I get close to Your Heart and Know what is really in your Heart.. I want to hear Your Heart.. even though it can be very far.. even it can be from a long distance.. but I am just asking for this One thing.. Can YOU Please tell me where is Your Heart.. and I be putting YOU on the Loud speaker.. wanting to hear your Voice.. and YOU telling me you be sending me a Note.. when the Note arrives.. YOU are going to tell me where to GO.. and There.. YOUR HEART is going to be there too.. after I heard this from your voice.. I waited for the Note.. day would go by but it be very long as I would wait for the Note.. the Note comes and it arrives.. as I received the Note from YOU.. I open the front door and some one put the Note on the ground.. I do remember when I opened the front door.. I only found the Note on the ground.. I would go to the Note to pick It UP.. as I hold on and looked at your writing on the Note.. I would read it.. It is at the Park.. there is a Tree.. on a top of the Branch.. the Heart is there waiting.. I should of gone when I received it.. I should of walked right when I received It.. but it was raining Hard and I would hear the wind blowing Hard.. and I wanted to go but why on this day.. and I would just close the Door behind.. I do regret not going at that time.. I should of Gone because It is YOU.. I even told YOU that I be waiting for YOU.. for the Note which it came to me.. I do remember grabbing the Note.. walking into the House.. the Next day.. the Snow comes.. and It be very cold.. for weeks it would be cold with the Snow falling from the sky.. I should of Gone is what I should of done.. the weeks turned into Months now.. I would be waiting for the Snow weather to die down.. But why did I not come at the time YOU send the Note to Me.. as I am sitting on the Ground.. I am just looking UP at this Tree.. hoping maybe your Heart is still here.. am I just too Late.. did I come at the wrong time.. It is because I did Not come right.. I am looking at this Note.. with the Date YOU have written it to tell me when.. But.. LOOK at the time now.. I have decided to wait a little more longer.. and I should of come at the time.. at the Moment YOU wanted me to come and to show the Heart.. as I am sitting.. I would pull the Paper.. the Drawing of Your Heart.. I am still wondering.. will YOUR Heart be here.. I know that deep inside YOUR Heart is not going to be here.. because it is ME to be blamed for Not making it ON time.. I am the One to be blamed.. I was asking YOU.. I was begging for a Chance to see Your Heart.. I wanted too.. I also even brought the Camera with Me.. it has the straps around my Neck so that I can take a picture of Your Heart.. Just in case Your Heart falls from the Branches.. I can catch YOUR Heart with the Glass Jar.. as I would sit on the ground.. I feel so Sad.. I feel so Hurt all of a suddenly.. because I missed Out.. was I afraid to come because of the rain.. if it did Not rained at all.. I know that I would of showed UP 100 percent.. and I would push back saying.. maybe tomorrow.. but even when the tomorrow became today.. the weather did Not help me at all.. I should of still gone.. I should of come even though it could of delayed just for one day.. I choose not to come because of the weather.. but if I should of known that I would Not see your Heart here today.. then I could of made up my mind to show UP.. because do you not see that Now I am here.. I have come to see your Heart.. prepared and brought everything I told you that what I am going to do.. I told you that I wanted to take a picture of Your Heart.. to get the closer look.. I even told YOU that I drew a Picture of Your Heart.. Not sure the shape or the size but I wanted to know if it is going to be the same imagine of the drawing and Your Real Heart.. I want to see It.. I want to see Your Heart.. I want to hear Your Heart.. even it can be at the Way top of the branch.. as long as it is You.. it is Your Heart.. as I am looking at the Piece of paper.. looking at the drawing of Your Heart.. I wish that I came sooner.. I wish that I came early.. I wish that I would of walked and ran in the rain.. Just to see Your Heart.. just to see the Shape and the Size of Your Heart.. no Matter How wet I be.. or can be sick from the rain.. I could of catch the flu from the cold rain.. but at least I could see Your Heart.. taking the Picture of it.. your Heart.. and when I get the Photo picture of your Heart.. I would of pulled Out the Blank sheet of paper.. and LOOKING at the Photo picture of Your Real Heart.. I would try to draw the One that is in the Photo picture of Your Heart.. and let you see that this is the Heart I see on the Top of the branch and I would of called YOU and ask YOU.. sending the Picture of it.. and I know that at least YOU will know that I came and saw It.. I would be standing in the cold rain.. as I would lift UP the Camera.. as the rain waters would hit me.. I would be standing still.. cold and wet.. but.. as Long as I am Looking at Your Heart.. even for few seconds.. just for blink of an eye.. and I am able to lift UP too take the Picture .. ZOOMING in closer and I would hit the click of the Button of the camera.. I be standing still.. crying in the rain.. and I be saying to myself.. I have been waiting for this very day.. just to look at your Heart.. even from the far.. the distance that leaves me cold and wet.. but I have showed UP.. I have come because I wanted to look at Your Heart.. to see your Heart and to say loud from the afar.. I love YOU.. I came to tell Your Heart.. it is standing on top of the Branch.. so Beautiful.. I want It.. I want that Heart and I would scream from my Heart.. I want It.. I want Your Heart.. Please.. Please give me YOUR Heart because I love YOU.. why can't YOU give me Your Heart so that I can tell YOUR Heart and say to your Heart How much I truly.. really really love YOU.. but the feeling would be at the Best as I would be able to turn the other way.. after I get to see Your Heart.. after I get to LOOK at the Drawing Picture of what I think your Heart looks Like and looking UP at the TOP Branch of this tree and looking actually at Your Heart
MAH MAH.. I am Looking Up at the Moon.. the Seven Men are behind Me on Watch Guard.. the New Recruits are in the tents and they are all sleeping.. I would unroll the Paper.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. my hand runs over.. Looking at How Beautiful YOU are.. I have Never seen such a Great Beauty.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am getting the New Recruits.. the New Young Men.. So many people are waiting.. the Fences are blocking More New Recruits.. and I am Not sure where all these YOUNG MEN came from.. but.. Many wants to Join this Military Arts.. wants to join the Circle.. But it is YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. these are YOUR YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits who are.. and as I am Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I only saw you this Morning.. watching More YOUNG MEN.. the New RECRUITS.. By the Fences.. trying to get in.. but the Fences would Not let them Pass through.. as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. the training will start when the early Morning.. when the Sun comes UP.. I am going to prepare these YOUNG NEW RECRUITS.. they are going to come to this training Ground.. the Ones who passed the examinations and now.. ready to pick UP the WOODEN SWORD STICKS.. and I would be turning Back.. Looking at the Seven Men.. the friends of Mine.. and they all look at me with a SMILE.. and I turn to LOOK UP.. looking at the MOON.. Just thinking of YOU.. HOW far I came.. and How it is because I love YOU.. I never stopped Loving YOU and that is the Driving force behind of Never giving UP Hope.. it is because I love YOU.. I wish that WANGSEJABI MAH MAH knows this Heart of Mine.. that I would see.. A Messenger comes.. I hear the Horse running.. and the Horse stops.. the Messenger gets Down from the Horse and LOOKS at me and the Seven Men.. He shows me a Scroll.. and the Enemies are going to Come Back again.. and they want to fight again for this War.. it is Not Finished Yet.. and the Messenger tells me.. get the YOUNG MEN RECRUITS also ready for the war.. I watch the Messenger gets ON the Horse and He leaves out of sight.. as I am thinking about Another War.. I am Not sure if I will make this One alive.. But.. For YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. we Must Win for YOU.. so that YOU WILL BE our QUEEN.. and to make this Nation stronger and the People.. the New Recruits stronger to protect YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. DO YOU remember.. When I first came.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture.. as I am speaking looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture.. drawing picture of YOU.. and I would say to your Drawing Picture.. DO YOU NOT remember when I first came to the Training Ground.. I wanted to come.. I wanted to be the part of the Military Arts.. but My Heart.. I always believed that I will meet YOU one day SOON.. that I get to show YOU my Face.. I get to draw Near.. to get closer to YOU.. I remember it was in a Night like this.. and as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. I would go back to the Good Ole Days.. I am sitting in the ROOM.. with the Closet Friend.. I am looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. and I would smile.. I will see YOU soon.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please be Patient and wait.. I know that I be meeting you so SOON.. I lost my Father.. but there was a Older MAN who became Like a Father.. taught me the Arts of Swordsmanship.. and has told me.. it is TIME for me to enter the training Camp.. the Training Ground.. and Gave me a Letter.. with the Stamp.. I would be looking at the Letter.. and His Mark of stamp.. on the Other Hand is the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I can't believe this Teacher gave me this Stamp Letter.. which Allows me to go direct into the Training Ground.. and I know.. the Next day.. Many are going to enter the training Ground.. or the Camp which YOU MUST pass in the Camp to go into the Ground.. but This Letter.. with the Stamp.. for Many Years.. I have been waiting for this day to Come.. for Many Years.. I would be coming Out side.. and I would LOOK UP to the MOON.. and I would ask.. I will be there very SOON.. I know that the distance between YOU and I seems a LONG WAY.. but I believe.. I know.. why.. because I know my Heart.. My Heart which Loves YOU.. I have Never stopped thinking of YOU.. I have never stopped Loving YOU.. YOU may Not know It.. when YOU LOOK at the distance between YOU and the MOON.. it is very Far to touch that MOON.. but I know.. Because I love YOU.. it does Not seems so Far any more.. as Long as I believe and I know.. I will be seeing YOU SOON.. I will be meeting YOU so SOON.. and I would look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. the Closest friend would look at me.. but I never get tired of LOOKING at YOU.. even though the Drawing was when YOU were much more Younger Years.. I do remember that with out YOU.. I know that I can't dream of coming this Close.. dreaming of getting close to YOU but I never stopped dreaming of Us.. of We.. that One Day.. I will see you and meet YOU.. I be close to YOU that I am able to speak and tell YOU.. I love YOU.. as the Next Day Comes.. me and the Closest Friend are standing in the Line.. the Line is so Long.. too many Young Men.. waiting in the Line to either go into the Camp or to the Ground.. and My Heart is beating.. It is beating so fast because I know that I am getting Close to YOU.. I see about one Hundred Young men standing.. waiting for their Time to enter.. I am so excited.. but also.. My Heart keeps on beating just too Fast.. I would be holding the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I would be looking at YOU.. YOU do Not understand How Long I waited.. I had to count for many Days.. Many Weeks and Many Years.. and was Not sure at First.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. I am here on the Line.. I am right Close.. and I just can't believe that I had to wait this Long just to stand Even in this Line.. but also.. this Letter is the way I can see YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. few days Ago.. even just the few days ago.. I felt like I was very far.. that I wanted to say.. Maybe I am thinking just too Hard.. or Just the dream is Non Sense.. WHO is going to believe me that I can get close to YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would be staying with the Older Man.. who was my teacher.. I was living with Him for awhile.. in the WOODS.. where there was nothing to DO.. NO dreams to think about.. Just be chopping down woods.. and getting the water in a bucket.. doing a lot of chores for this Older MAN.. who was a teacher.. Like a Father Figure to Me.. I would be walking Out side.. In the Night.. I would stand Out side.. LOOKING UP.. looking at the MOON and I would ask.. after looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. am I NOT allowed to dream.. Can a fellow Like me dreams TOO.. because maybe I am Not suppose to dream anything.. living as a Slave Boy.. But I do Have a Dreams.. and I would look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU and I would say to YOU in the Picture.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. why can't some one like me dream.. will YOU laugh and Mock at me if I tell YOU these dreams I have.. and It is ALL About getting closer and to tell YOU that I love YOU.. why can't I even share this Dream to YOU.. WILL you allow me to share it what I have IN my Heart.. will YOU open your ears to listen to My Dreams.. will YOU hear it and give me permission to Speak and to share this Dream of Mine to YOU.. is it truly wrong to Love YOU.. Please tell me that I am right.. I told YOU HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. ever since I was A Boy.. walking with my Father.. another BOY who drew a Picture of YOU.. He fell before me while He was running.. He tripped and the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU came.. and When I bent over to pick up the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. My Heart.. I could Not tell my Heart to stop Beating.. I don't know why my Heart kept on beating fast.. I would be asking my Question.. Maybe My Heart is broken to act this way when I looked at the Drawing picture of YOU.. I can hear it.. my Heart.. which It kept beating over and over again.. My Father who was alive at that time came close.. and LOOKED at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU and told me WHO YOU were.. the Crown Princess of the Nation.. I just could Not believe It.. How was it that I was able to look at this Picture drawing of YOU.. if a Peasant.. or a SON of a SLAVE looks.. He can be arrested and be put to death.. I was told.. but I just did Not care at all.. I mean my Heart.. it must be broken to act this way.. I just knew when I saw the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I am a Dean person any ways.. and I only live Once.. but Loving YOU.. and just missing YOU.. How is it my fault.. WHY would you blame someone who Loves YOU just because I just do.. the other Boy let me have this Picture.. the drawing of YOU.. and ever since I had it in my hands.. I would never let this drawing picture go.. because I just Love YOU.. I would be waiting in the Line.. with the Closest friend.. but the Line would Not Move.. Just too many Young Men has all shown UP for this Once a Year event.. and I know If I don't make it this Year.. I know I have to wait Next year.. but this Letter is only for this Year usage.. so I would wait and wait.. even though the Line would Not Move.. few days ago living with the Old Teacher.. I would be cleaning.. and the Old Teacher asked me to come Closer.. and I just could Not believe what He wanted to show Me.. and Showed Me.. the Letter.. when the Old Teacher gave me His Letter to me.. I would sit in the ROOM and I would cry.. alone I kept ON crying because
MAH MAH.. Or just missing YOU.. I would pull and unroll the Paper.. and I would look at the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and I would say.. I want to see YOU SOON.. I want to be close to YOU SOON.. but I would say this and believe it.. but it seems like It is never going to happen to me.. but I want to get close.. My Heart wants to tell YOU that I love YOU.. when can I tell YOU these words of Mine to YOU.. but it seems like it is so Far.. Just like when I come Out side.. and LOOKING up to the MOON.. it is so far for my hands to touch that MOON.. the long distance.. which it is IMPOSSIBLE for me.. when will that day be when I can see YOU and be close to YOU.. when my arms can hold YOU near and I am able to say.. how much I love YOU.. but.. when the Letter came.. and the Old Teacher tells me.. when He stamps on the End.. That I am going direct to the Ground.. Not the camp site.. and I saw the Stamp He put.. I would cry in the ROOM.. just could Not believe It.. that HE is letting me get close to YOU.. without this Stamp and this Letter.. I would be still waiting.. and Only LOOKING at the MOON wishing every night.. but feeling that distance that IT is Never going to happen.. but when the Stamp was set.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would run Out side.. and I turn to LOOK at the Moon.. holding the Stamp Letter in my Hand and I would be waving the Letter.. telling that MOON.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Just Wait.. I am coming.. I am going to get close to YOU.. I am going to be there very SOON.. I know that One day soon.. I will tell YOU how much I love YOU because I know that I do.. I never stopped believing that I will love YOU and I can say it to YOU SOON.. as I am standing in the Line.. with the Closest friend.. I begin to see the Men moving forward.. and yes.. Finally I get to enter the Ground.. I will see you soon Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I will see you soon.. because I love YOU..I am with the Seven Friends of Mine.. in the training Camp.. as I am looking at these New Recruits.. More young men are flocking.. filling up the training Camp.. as I watch more then One Hundred new young Men and More Men are waiting by the fences.. wanting to Join in the Military Arts.. I just can't Believe what is going On.. these are Your New men HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. these are new Recruits who wants to Fight For YOU.. and On your Behalf ready to Die for this Nation.. and They are Not afraid of the War.. I am holding the Wooden Sword Stick.. with the Seven Men behind Me.. and they are ready to Train these Young Men.. and I am looking at more than One Hundred Young Men of recruits.. and I can feel the tears in my eyes.. I remember I was One of those Men.. I am Looking over and around.. and My Hand touches the Chest.. I remember I was standing in the way Back.. I saw YOU at the training Camp.. with the Chief Generals and the Commanders.. with the Trainers of the Art of Swordsmanship.. I saw YOU sitting on the Chair.. and YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. who was looking saw me at the end.. and YOU stood UP and noticed Me.. I was way in the Back with the Number On the Back of the armor.. I just could not believe that YOU would let me come to the front.. and to see my Face.. I would walk up from being way behind.. More than One Hundred men because I was the 100th men.. the Number was written.. as I walked to the Front.. I saw YOU after a Long Time.. I wanted to say something to YOU WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. but CROWN PRINCESS.. what words would I say to YOU at that time.. I had to prove myself which I can be a Part of the Member to Fight.. as I saw YOU stand there.. YOU also holding a Wooden Sword stick.. and told me.. and I had to come before YOU.. and With the WOODEN SWORD.. YOU wanted to challenge Me.. But I just could Not fight YOU.. instead.. I let YOU Hurt Me.. I placed the WOODEN SWORD DOWN.. and Yes.. I just could Not hit.. as YOU would strike me with the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. and I fell to the ground after getting Hit several times.. I saw YOU stand there with NO WORDS.. and I saw YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. walk away.. and told.. One of the men.. the Chief General YOU knew to Challenge Me.. I would stand UP.. and YOU stood with the Other Chief Generals and the Commanders.. with the TOP GENRALS on the Side.. I held and grab the WOODEN STICK.. and the Chief General.. He grabbed and we were facing each Other.. I knew that If I could Not beat HIM.. I would Not be able to get It as the Palace Guard.. as I stood here with the Seven Men.. who is behind Me.. I am standing here in tears.. I just could Not believe that I am here today.. For your Kingdom.. and For your Nation.. and YOU gave me the Command to Teach and to train the New Young Men.. the New Recruits.. How is it that I can do this.. I just could Not.. as I watch the Faces of these New Young Men.. and they are all in the single line.. standing side to side.. and as I turn to look.. I see YOU sitting ON the Horse.. with the White Dress and the Big Crown on top of the Head.. as the Seven men with men.. we would all turn to Give YOU the attention.. and I would be on the two knees.. arm forward and head looking at the Ground.. the Seven men also gets down on two knees.. arms forward and heads looking on the ground.. and the New Recruits all turns too look.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. It is the WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and all the new Recruits all gets down on two knees.. arms out forward Heads all look on the Ground.. and I shouted to YOU.. CHOONG CHOONG CHOONG and the Voices of more than one hundred men all shouts to YOU the Crown Princess.. CHOONG CHOONG CHOONG.. as the WOODEN STICK HITS the ground.. and I would close Both eyes.. and going to the Meeting of the council.. the Meeting Board.. YOU.. the crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. sitting on the King's Chair.. on the Right Side.. from the eldest to the youngest.. Six Princes were standing.. the Prime Minister.. and the 12 council of noble Men.. from the eldest down.. and on the Left side is the Chief Commander.. to Commanders.. Chief Generals to TOP General.. 2nd General to the 3rd General.. as I am on the two Knees.. my arms out forward.. my Head looking on the Ground.. with the Seven Men who are my Friends in the same Position.. as the Messenger of the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. He is reading from the Scroll of what YOU have written.. and Now.. YOU are telling me that I am Not the palace Guard any More.. that Now.. I am a Special Guard for the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and also shared that I am now the trainer for the New Recruits with the Seven Men who are with me.. as I lifted UP my Head.. what is this MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. why are you promoting Me.. I rather be the Palace Guard but Now.. YOU are telling me that I can be the special Guard.. who is to protect YOU.. I always wanted to protect YOU but even as the palace guard I can.. YOU do not have to promote me for anything.. as Long as I can protect you with the Sword.. the Only One sword I can.. and Now.. YOU are also giving me a chance to teach.. to share.. even though I may not be that GOOD.. why are you being so good to Me.. I know I can't do much.. but also.. for this CHANCE of a Life time.. I just wanted to thank YOU from my Heart.. and I can hear.. the men behind me starts to cry.. they just could Not believe what they are hearing with me.. why is it that it be so Hard for me to accept this.. I know that I am not that GOOD at Art of Swordsmanship.. why are you giving me this chance.. and I would LOOK at the ground.. watching the tears hit the Floor.. WHAT is it that I have done.. I only wanted to let YOU know that It is my Heart.. My Heart who has been loving YOU for so Long.. I guess if YOU Love.. does Not matter what comes before your eyes.. YOU just don't get scared if YOU know How to Love.. but it is YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is YOU who has taught Me How to Love.. I just can't Love YOU unless YOU give me the Chance to Love YOU.. How is it that I can without Your Permission.. without Your consent.. I need Your approval for this can Happen. as My hand would be wiping the tears from my eyes.. why are YOU being so Nice.. so Kind to Me.. why are YOU being so gentle with me.. when I first Met YOU.. when I first saw YOU.. when YOU came across and I saw YOU.. I only felt something in my Heart.. I only wanted you to KNOW.. can I show you something that I felt in my soul.. that I felt in my Heart.. How am I suppose to show YOU something that is Unseen.. YOU can't see love.. YOU can't even know what Love is unless YOU learn.. and start learning HOW TO LOVE.. I began with the Art Sketch Paper.. I started when I saw a Boy.. He was running.. and He fell on the Floor.. and out of his hand the Art sketch paper came off and I was walking with my Father.. he was telling me He had to go to the Meeting Board.. the COUNCIL OF BOARD MEETING.. I stopped and I looked on the Ground.. an art Sketch Paper was near at my feet.. I went on the ground and I saw a Face.. it was a drawing and my two hands grabbed unto and I looked at the Picture of YOU.. Crown Princess.. and My Father who was standing next to Me saw the same Picture.. he tells me it is the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I looked at it.. How did it come to my hands.. How did this Picture.. this ART SKETCH PAPER.. the Drawing of YOU.. and I looked at it.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. and the Boy gets UP and looks at me.. telling me He drew it.. and that I can have it just like that.. ever since I saw this Picture.. my eyes were glued to this Picture.. YOU took my Breathe
MAH MAH.. From the Fence.. I would Raise UP my Voice and would SHOUT.. MANSAE to the CROWN PRINCESS.. I hear the voices of all of the Men in the training Camp.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would be loud and clear.. raising UP the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. MANSAE to CROWN PRINCESS.. all of the MEN in one Voice Shouts.. MANSAE TO WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. as I am looking at the Horse walking off while YOU are sitting on the Horse.. I go back to the War.. watching YOU on the Horse.. I see you pull the Sword Out of the Sheath.. and Your Arm moves Down.. blade striking down one enemy at a Time.. the battle is so fierce.. and I see More of the enemies.. LOOKING and Pointing the Swords at YOU.. Crown Princess.. and I turn to LOOK back.. as I am swinging the Sword.. and I look at the Seven men who is with me.. telling Them.. the ENEMIES are charging.. they are going after the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGJABI MAH MAH.. GO and protect.. and I see the Seven Men.. running towards YOU on the Horse.. as YOU are sitting on the Horse striking down One enemy.. but the ENEMIES starts to gather.. More and they rush at YOU.. and I turn to LOOK back.. and I start to RUN TOWARDS you.. and Me and the Seven Men makes a Circle around YOU.. and with are Backs we would lean on the Horse to PUSH it back.. More of YOUR MEN comes out of the fortress to JOIN and they gather around YOU MAKING MORE bigger circles and Pushes with the backs on the Horse so that It can go into the FORTRESS.. and I see and I jump forward.. with the Sword I strike and I swing.. going forward as More ENEMIES are approaching.. Blades are hitting Other.. and YOU go in safely.. as I am on two Knees and arms out forward and Head looking on the ground.. I see YOU and the Horse disappear.. HWAANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have done so well.. I just wanted to say Thank YOU.. the DAY I first entered the Training camp.. the DAY YOU saw me in the way of the back of the Line.. I was waiting for the number and the Name to be called.. I watched for days sitting on the way Back on the Line.. I would wait.. as the detour happens.. I had to leave without my Number and my Name being called.. wondering will I even enter this Camp.. for the few days I was sitting back of the Line.. I did Not see YOU sitting with the CHIEF GENERALS and the COMMANDERS.. it was like the 5th day.. when YOU came to sit on the Chair to Judge the new Recruits.. I was just waiting.. until YOU saw me.. and YOU recognized me at the way in the Back.. It was YOU HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it was YOU who gave me this One Shot.. this One Chance.. I could of waited and just gone back HOME without ever entering.. but the day I saw YOU.. I saw Your eyes looking at ME and YOU recognized Me.. I just could Not believe that YOU would recognize me even though it has been so Long ago I met YOU.. when I was very YOUNG.. but Many years went down the Line.. and of course people changes.. But YOU recognized Me when YOU first took that glance looking at me sitting alone in the back.. but able to give me this One Shot.. I wanted to say thank YOU.. if YOU did Not recognized me.. I would of never made it to the camp.. and I would be shouting.. CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. HOORAY TO the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. and I would be crying as I am LOOKING at the MOON staring down at Me into the Night.. I am standing Out of the Gates of the Fortress.. the Seven Men.. the Friends are all behind Me.. and I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. sitting On the Horse.. All the Chief Generals and the Commanders.. More Foot soldiers are walking Out of the Fortress gates.. the Six Princes are inside.. Soldiers pushing the Big Canons.. and Men sitting on the Horses.. with Bows and Arrows.. I turn to Look at YOU.. and I am on the foot.. I see YOU raise UP the Bow.. and Other side are the Enemies lined UP.. generals On the Horses.. I see YOU grabbing the Two Arrows.. Putting on the End of the strings of the BOW And pulling it back.. I turn.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please wait.. Please CONSIDER.. and I see you turn YOUR head and looks at me.. and YOU look forward.. and the aiming the Arrows and hand let goes and It shoots Out and fires.. I can't believe it.. I just can't and I see the two Arrows and It hits two enemy soldiers and they both Die.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. the Chief general ON top of the tower raises UP his Right hand with the Sword and Blows the Horn.. Arrows shoots fires and I can see it UP in the air.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please.. consider.. and I pull out the Sword.. looking at the Blade.. and the Seven Men behind Me all pulls Out their swords.. For HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Let us Fight and Protect.. and I see the enemies soldiers running.. and I would start to run with the Seven Men.. and the Two sides clashes.. I am swinging the Sword.. just thinking about YOU.. I can't let YOU down.. Let us fight and Protect the CROWN PRINCESS.. it is for YOU.. and I am swinging the sword.. the blades hits each Other.. and I see one enemy soldier.. He looks at me.. and I jump UP and swing the Sword and goes across his Neck.. My seven Friends are surrounding and they are all close to Me.. as I hear them shout OUT.. and I turn to look back.. I see Arrows flying Out.. More arrows flying across.. I see two Large Canon Balls with Fire falling from the Sky.. killing Many Enemies who are running across.. I see YOU on the Horse.. MAH MAH.. It is HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I look at three of the closest friends.. My sword points Back.. Protect the Crown Princess.. Please go and be close to you.. and the three friends looks at me.. and they turn to go back to YOU.. and I just can't.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I can't focus when YOU are Out here.. I can't even fight right.. I asked YOU to consider.. It is so dangerous OUT here.. LOOK at this raging war.. and I turn to LOOK back.. I see One enemy running at me.. with the Sword I would jump and move back.. I swing the Sword and it hits the blades.. and I move forward and Bash into him.. and I jump swing the Sword and it strikes him down.. I turn to the Left.. to the right.. so many Men fighting.. I see many enemies are falling by the sword.. I just can't go ahead.. I turn to look back.. I see YOU still on the Horse.. with the Armor and Sword.. and YOU are swinging as riding on the Horse.. I see More men running towards you.. I grab the Sword and I run after.. I can't let Them go attack.. I need YOU to RULE.. I need YOU to be the Next On the Line.. I would RUN and RUN.. I can see the backs.. I would start to swing the sword.. and Hitting One Back to the Next.. to the three and four Men falls by the Sword.. and I would say.. Protect the Crown Princess.. I am yelling Out Loud.. and Screaming Out Loud.. Protect the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and More of the Men turns.. and LOOKS at YOU on the Horse.. as YOU are swinging your sword looking down.. as all of the Seven of my friends.. and I would surround making a circle.. as One Enemy approaches I would jump forward and swing the sword and He swings back.. blades hitting each Other.. the Chief Generals are raising the swords.. telling the Men to Protect YOU.. More men would surround YOU.. as we would push back.. and I am on the front Line.. swords hit and blades making sound.. and I would say.. Protect the Crown Princess.. Protect.. and as more Men comes.. they are able to lead YOU back into the Gates.. inside the Fortress.. and I turn to LOOK back.. and Men starts to run Out.. I can't see YOU out here.. I just can't breathe the same air when we are at War.. How can I fight with this Sword if YOU are fighting this Battle.. if I love YOU.. I can't see YOU hurt.. I can't see YOU wounded.. and the seven Men runs Out.. with the Swords and together.. we would run out on the Front Line.. Swords are hitting.. I see More enemies running towards.. the Arrows are flying High and Canon balls flying.. the More Canon balls flying and falling from the sky.. I see more enemies men falling and dying on the Field.. as I would look.. they start to look and start to run Off.. I hear the Horn Blowing.. I just can't believe me eyes.. is this real.. and I raise UP my Right hand.. with the Sword in my Hand.. and we have WON the battle Again.. and I can feel the tears.. I am in so much joy.. the soldiers.. we have WON.. and I raise UP the Sword.. MAN SAE to Crown Princess.. the Seven Men behind Me.. wiping the tears with me.. they raise the swords with right HANDS.. MANSAE to Crown Princess.. and I raise it up the sword and SHOUT.. MANSAE to HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and the Seven MEN raises the sword with right Hands.. MANSAE to WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MAH MAH.. we have WON.. and I turn around.. and the seven Men turns to look at the Gates of the Fortress.. I see YOU coming out of the Gates.. Your RIGHT HAND.. holding the Sword.. and I just can't believe my eyes.. as YOU are on the Horse.. I see More Horses.. the six Princes has joined the Battle to help YOU to WIN this War.. the Chief generals and Commanders.. they all line UP.. as YOU raise UP the Sword.. the MEN all shout.. MANSAE to CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE TO CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE TO WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would run UP.. and two Knee on the ground.. with the arm up and Head looking down.. the Seven men runs UP.. two knees down.. heads looking on the ground.. arms UP and all of the MEN.. COMMANDERS.. CHIEF GENERALS.. GENERALS.. Soldiers
MAH MAH.. Of YOU.. I would hold both hands and My lips touch Your Lip of the paper picture.. and I would Place the Art sketch Paper on the Ground.. and I would say MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. If this Arrow does NOT hit the red Dot.. right IN the Middle of the spot of this target.. I may end UP not going to become this warrior.. but to fold my dreams for Good.. I would grab the Bow.. pulling the strings of the Bow.. I may have to bury my dreams forever.. Always wanted to be by Your Side.. to Protect YOU.. to serve YOU and to be a part of Your Life.. but If I can't even hit the target right.. what good is it for trying.. I would hold the BOW in front of me.. grabbing the Arrow on the Ground.. LOOKING straight down at the target.. I would put the end of the ARROW and PULL it back with the strings of the BOW.. and I am aiming.. I feel the tears falling from my eyes.. I always wanted to be by your side.. even though YOU may Not love Me.. I am Not asking YOU to love Me.. because it does NOT matter for Me.. as Long as I KNOW that I love YOU.. just to stay and be close to YOU.. your presence means everything to me.. that is what Love does when YOU love.. and I would let my hand go.. the Arrow shoots and Flies across and it hits something.. I grab another Arrow.. putting at the end of the Strings of the BOW and pulls the strings back and I am aiming the arrow.. I can't let my Dreams go.. because I need YOU close.. I need YOU here with me.. YOU know that I love YOU that is why I can't ever give UP and My hand lets go and when my hand lets go of the strings of the Bow.. the arrow shoots Out the second time.. and I hear it hit something.. I am Not sure if it hit the target Or not.. I would drop the Bow on the Ground.. and I look on the ground.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the picture drawing of YOU.. and I would hold with both hands and I am walking looking at YOU through this Picture.. DO I have to let my Dreams Go.. dreams of letting YOU go.. and as I walk and stop by the Target.. I lifted UP my Head to look at the Target.. I just couldn't believe It.. I see two Arrows Hit right ON the red Dot.. and as I am looking at both arrows.. My tears.. I feel my tears running down both cheeks and I would cry Loud.. I can't believe it.. after trying so many Months.. Many nights.. broken nights.. thousands of arrows would fly.. Never heard it hit anything.. passing by this target many times.. But Now.. finally.. as I lift UP both hands.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the picture drawing of YOU.. I would say.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. I wish that YOU were here with Me.. what YOU could see.. I can't believe It.. ON this very night.. I was ready to fold My Dreams.. I was ready to give UP my Dreams on trying to be the swordsmanship for YOU.. so that I can go TO you.. to Protect YOU.. to fight the battles for YOU.. so that YOU do NOT have to enter any Battlefields.. to protect with this Sword.. with this Bow and Arrow.. to show you how much I love YOU and will Fight for YOUR NATION.. even if I die in the Battlefield.. YOU will know that I will Never stop Loving YOU.. as I am looking at the two arrows.. I did Not expect it to Hit the target.. I had a feeling that I would fail again and this time it is for good.. that maybe it is NOT right for me to ever see YOU.. live a life like a MONK instead.. But I gave this One Last try.. Knowing I will fail.. but I had to try one more time before I bury it in my heart and to never look back.. LOOKING at this Picture of YOU.. this Art Sketch Paper.. I knew.. this is it.. the last chance I can go.. the last chance I can try.. even told my father.. If He can make two last arrows for me.. if I can't hit the target that I am giving UP my Dreams of Swordsmanship.. He was behind me as I would shoot the last two arrows.. He started to cry.. when he walked to see me.. my both hand grabbing HOLD onto the end of the Arrows and it hit the target on the red DOT.. I have never seen such a MAN cry but He cried with me.. telling me.. MY DREAMS will come True.. that ONE DAY I will see the Crown Princess.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. that as LONG as I KEEP ON trying.. I can see YOU one day.. and HE cried Loud with me.. we both wept bitterly because I love YOU so Much and HE KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.. as I am looking on the ground.. I am here.. Just can't believe this second war.. and once again WE have won.. and YOU are here.. CROWN PRINCESS IS here this TIME.. YOU have see US fight and WON this war together.. I have dreamed for this DAY TO HAPPEN..I see you Point the sword at ME.. telling me to speak.. SO I lift UP my head and I look UP.. and the Other hand goes Back and I pull out the Ark Sketch Paper.. and If may I.. and I see you point the sword again.. Both hands grabs the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and I would say.. I kept this For a Long Time.. I was ready to give UP my dreams of the Art of swordsmanship.. I remember the Night that was the last.. I saw the Art sketch paper it was on the ground.. I would lower to Pick it UP and I saw this Picture.. it is YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I wanted to be Close to YOU.. even though I was far Off.. that I was living so far and I knew that I just could not go IN like this.. to prove that I can be a soldier who can Protect.. to be a warrior who fights.. I knew I had to do something.. I was about to give UP on that dreams.. I saw this Art Sketch paper.. I took hold of it with Both Hands.. and I would KISS the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. before I let it go.. before I give UP my dreams.. to become a MONK instead.. I saw it.. I saw YOU.. and I would say.. the last two Arrows is all I need.. is all it is going to tell Me.. but when I saw the Art sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. in my Heart.. I wanted to be close to YOU.. I did not want to let It ever go.. and I cried that night because if I failed.. I will let it go and bury it forever in my heart.. and never look back.. the two Arrows is all I needed to see and I saw It hit something.. on the red DOT.. my father cried with Me.. and He told me this.. that I will see YOU.. that I will be close to YOU and will fight on the Battles for Your Behalf.. for the Nation and for Your People.. I am here right Now.. and we have WON together.. but all it took is looking at this Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I came here because I knew.. But I am here because I love YOU..I am looking back.. thinking about the Time.. both eyes would close.. I am standing by the Horse.. and in my both hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I just wants to be with YOU.. Missing YOU.. I just wants to go back.. looking at the Picture of YOU.. the art sketch paper.. and my Father walks and stops next to me.. and He has the Bow in his hand.. and Pulling the strings of the Bow back.. my father looks at me.. and I turn to LOOK up at him.. what if I never see YOU again.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am so Little.. I am so weak right Now.. there is Nothing that I can give YOU.. what am I suppose to do because I know that I am powerless and useless right Now.. all I can do is just pull out this Art Sketch Paper.. my eyes would look at this Picture of YOU.. but there is NOTHING THAT I can do.. that is Hurts my Heart so bad.. but Just loving YOU.. can it really work.. can anything truly work Out like this.. Look at me.. I am so Poor.. I am uneducated.. I am so weak and so Little.. have NO power or NO strength.. what can I do.. and I be looking.. tears would fill my eyes and it starts to roll down my two cheeks.. what do I do.. I just can't give UP right Now.. do I suppose to give UP now.. and my Father looks at Me.. He grabs an Arrow.. put the end of the Arrow.. pulling the back of the string of the Bow.. and He aims.. the target in center of the Tree.. and He lets go of the string and the Arrow Flies and It hits the Middle.. BULLS eye of the target.. I am wondering.. what do I do Now.. I can't think of anything else.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH has become so Big.. become so Great.. My Father.. which he takes out another arrow and Put the end of the arrow of the Strings of the Bow.. and He pulls back and aims.. and I lift UP to look.. He releases and the Arrow flies and Hits the Middle of the Target again.. I am looking UP at my Father.. He smiles.. and I am wondering.. when can I ever be good like my Father.. I want to learn to shoot the arrow Like this.. I see my Father turns away and He walks Off.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I know that my Father wants to show me and teach me something.. and I look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU again.. I really want to protect YOU.. I really want to be there for YOU.. I wish that It is ME who can truly Love YOU and that YOUR HEART can open UP to accept.. but I know that even though I want to give YOU all my Heart.. all my Love to YOU.. I look at myself.. I am a Low Born.. I know that I can't afford to be with YOU.. WHO am I to Love YOU.. I have Nothing.. what can I give or bring which YOU have already just too Much and plentiful.. My Father stands behind.. and I would turn to LOOK back.. I see his Figure but could Not see HIM.. but I hear his voice.. telling me.. If I love YOU.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I am not afraid to Die for Love.. It should NOT matter at ALL because Love comes from the Heart.. if I truly Love YOU.. I will do anything to be close to YOU.. if I truly choose Love and Death.. and if it does not scare me.. I can just truly Love YOU forever.. does Not matter about what will happen to me.. if I can only Protect YOU.. and that is the Mighty Weapon I carry just to be with YOU.. Just to be close with YOU.. Just to get to know YOU little.. that is all it matters.. because Love is the greatest gift that A HEART
MAH MAH.. Can know it Now.. I wish that I can show YOU.. Open your Heart.. Open your eyes and see How much I have never stopped loving YOU.. will you ever Know.. I want it to be known.. will you know It.. I would fold the Art Sketch Paper into Half and Put it on the Ground.. and I would say.. I love YOU WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. I would grab the Bow in my Hands.. if the Only thing I can do is protect.. If the Only thing I can do is Shoot these arrows off the Bow with Arrows.. if the Only thing is holding a sword and use to fight Off the Enemies which comes across the Lines.. if this is the Only Way.. the Only will I can help and to Protect YOU.. I know as long as It comes from my Heart.. maybe you will see my Heart.. My Love of being next to YOU and close to YOU.. Just be standing in a distance and to love YOU.. I will offer as it is.. my tears would fall from both eyes.. But I love YOU.. Do you not know.. can't you feel this Heart of Mine which I have never stopped Loving YOU.. as tear drops hit the ground.. I grab the Arrow.. putting the end of the Arrow of the String and pulling it back.. I wish that I can give More.. or I can do More for YOU.. but I am limited right Now.. that is why My Heart breaks so easily.. I want to give YOU so much More.. give YOU more and more of my Love.. but.. there is NOT much I can do to show YOU what I can do.. I am aiming the Arrows.. hand pulling back the String and hand lets go the string and the arrow shoots.. but it goes far off.. Missing the target.. It Breaks.. It hits and I hit my own Chest.. I missed the Target.. I can't even shoot the arrow correctly and I would stand there.. MOON comes UP into the Night.. and I am crying.. balling with tears and weeping.. I can't even shoot the arrow correctly.. and I would say.. I want to protect YOU.. I want to protect HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. my arms are so weak to pull back the strings of this Bow.. and It just can't go far.. and I would lift UP my Head.. looking UP at the MOON.. How am I suppose to protect YOU.. I want to protect to show YOU that this is all I can do because I love YOU.. but I can't even shoot and aim the arrows.. I have tried five arrows.. but ALL of them I missed.. my arms are in pain right Now.. just killing me deep within Me.. I have to get this One Right.. and I would pull out another Arrow.. now My arms.. I can feel of too much pulling far.. It aches Now.. but I have promised and Made a promised to YOU.. that right Now.. I may be very weak.. can't give YOU anything.. can't do anything right.. can't even pick UP the wooden stick.. can't even grab the arrow and shoot.. PULLING the strings of the Bow.. can't even pull far.. but I have made a Promise.. that promise is to accomplish this so that I can go to YOU and that I get to meet YOU soon.. as a Warrior.. I want to show YOU that I be Your Man.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I am always coming out to this WOOD.. full of trees.. and I would stand at the same Spot.. grabbing the Bow.. pulling the strings.. and grabbing More arrows to shoot and trying to Hit the Target.. My Father is always there.. and He sees Me as he stands Behind.. giving a space and distance watching Me.. before I would start to Use the Bow.. I would always unfold the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. the Picture of YOU.. I would stare at your Picture.. Into the Night I would LOOK at your Beautiful Face.. I would first thing about the TIME.. I would smile and say.. I want to be there soon.. I would like to join YOU soon.. I am Not sure when that TIME would be but I know that TIME will come SOON.. I wish that It can be Now.. I wish I can go to YOU NOW.. but.. I know that right NOW there is Nothing I can do.. Nothing I can give to YOU.. I feel useless and I feel so Little and so Weak.. I don't want to show UP when YOU see me at my Lowest.. but when I become a real MAN for YOU who can say.. I can Love you Now.. I can use and be helpful to YOU.. to support Your Kingdom.. your Nation and to be part of Your Team so that YOU can launch Out to go further.. I want to see YOU at the Highest Level.. at the Best stage of Your Life.. at your Strongest.. and I would look at your Picture.. the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. as I would take a Look.. my hand touch my Chest.. HWANGJABI MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. do YOU know that I am touching my Chest.. where I can feel my Heart beating inside when I think of YOU.. when I call your Name.. CROWN PRINCESS.. and I will ask the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. the drawing of YOU.. can YOU hear my voice.. Can YOU hear me Now.. I am looking at the Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU and I am asking YOU.. DO you hear my voice.. can YOU hear my Words because right NOW I am speaking.. but I know that I can't hear YOU.. NO Matter How many times I say and call Out your Name.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. can YOU.. or DO YOU HEAR me Now.. I wish that YOU can tell me that YOU do and YOU can hear me.. but ALL I hear on this side is silent.. But I want to hear YOU.. I want to see YOU.. I want to hear YOU say something back to Me.. when there are NO words of exchange or I don't hear anything.. I feel so Sad.. like YOU are ignoring me for some reason even though YOU are Not.. and I would be looking at the Picture drawing of YOU.. I would hear the foot steps and My Father stops next to Me.. He has his Bow.. and He would always stop by to show Me How to shoot.. PULLING back the strings of the Bow.. grabbing the Arrow.. the End of the arrow and PULLS back the strings of the Bow.. ARROW aims.. and HE lets go of the strings of the Bow.. I stand next to HIM.. the Arrow hits the Target and hits on the spot.. BULLS EYE and shows me the Mistakes I am making.. and I grab the Bow.. my arms are so weak.. and it is hurting because of too much pulling back of the strings of the Bow.. But I must over come and endure this suffering and this Pain.. to let my Arms be strong.. and I would be thinking of Your Picture.. I would be looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing of YOU.. the Picture of YOU.. My Heart.. I know that I must.. so that I can go to YOU.. I must win.. I must conqueror the Pain.. I must because this is WHY I am here to Love YOU over and Over again.. it is because I love YOU.. as I am Kneeling.. on two knees.. behind me are the Seven Friends and they are all on the two knees.. arms forward and head looking on the ground.. YOU are on the Horse.. and the Horse raises up two legs.. but I would say.. CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Please.. Hear my Words.. Please.. hear the Plea that is coming Out of my voice.. I just can't see YOU out on the Battlefield.. YOU know that I would rather choose to DIE if I see you Out there.. Please consider and reconsider.. I can't let YOU go out there.. I just can not see the One who I love.. going on the battle and putting death first.. I am asking YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please consider and think about the future of Your Kingdom.. I do not want any one to see YOU fighting.. I am Not going Out to that Battle if YOU go Out there.. YOU are telling me that to put a SWORD INTO MY CHEST first before I use the sword to fight against Your enemies.. who is going to let their Ruler.. their leader to go OUT when YOU have many men behind Your Back.. You have plenty of soldiers and warriors.. chief Generals and Commanders who are willing to fight ON your behalf.. WHY do you break My Heart and Our Hearts.. Please consider and reconsider.. and ALL the Voices of Men would raise and say.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Please reconsider and do Your Nation the favor.. and ALL the MEN ON two knees.. Heads looks ground.. arms forward.. Please Consider.. Please reconsider for YOUR MIGHTY MEN OF WAR..I am taking you to the Garden.. I want to show YOU something.. and I am walking.. my hand on the Strings of the Horse.. and YOU are sitting on the Top of the Horse.. with Your White Dress.. as I am walking.. hand grabbing unto the strings and the Horse is walking next to me.. I see the Garden.. and Closer and closer we are getting.. I would turn my Head looking UP toward YOU.. CONG JU NIM.. MAH MAH.. YOU know that YOU did not have to do this.. YOU are in the Royal Blood Line.. and I am a son of a servant.. but why do you want to go with me here.. you know that I am a low Born.. from the lowest clan.. but tell me Why.. all you need to say is one word and I can just die in the streets.. and No one would know my Name.. would ever recognize me.. but why do you want me to take YOU back to this Garden.. and I would turn my Head looking straight and I went into the Garden.. hand grabbing unto the strings of the Horse.. I don't hear any words from YOU.. as YOU are sitting.. with a Crown on top of Your Head.. with the most beautiful white Dress.. My eyes.. which I just can't keep it still.. My eyes just kept on looking at YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. MAH MAH.. My Princess.. CONG JU MAH MAH.. why are you asking me to take YOU back to this Garden.. I told you that my Heart left this Garden long ago.. the day I left was when I saw YOU with another MAN.. the royal Prince.. it hurts me when I come back to this Garden.. it hurts me of the bad memories I had when My Heart would torn into pieces.. knowing that I am so little.. I am so lost.. I was so confused.. even though I knew that I could never be with YOU.. but still.. my Heart was torn when I saw YOU standing with the Royal Prince.. How small and little I felt when I saw YOU holding his Hand.. I would stop.. the Horse stops.. and I am looking at the Bed of flowers.. and I am not sure why you wanted to come to this Flower.. as I would stand next
Oink Oink.. I am listening to the Song I am playing on this Piano.. of course I am Not a composer.. I can't write any music.. but I have the Letter I have written just for YOU.. Only YOU can hear the Words that is coming Out of My Mouth.. which it was written last Night before I went to Bed.. I just could Not sleep.. I would be tossing and turning on the side.. I would be laying.. Looking at the wall of the ROOM.. my Heart was Beating Hard from the Inside.. which kept me waking UP.. I would try to close the two eyes.. shut I would close.. but I would see YOU in my Head.. in my Mind I see YOU and I would think of YOU.. opening both eyes does Not work because My Heart is beating Hard.. I would sit on top of the bed.. trying to lay back Down and again I would sit.. I would look across is the Desk.. maybe it is telling me to write YOU another Letter.. why do I have to keep On picking UP the Pen.. putting the White Piece of paper before my eyes.. I would pull the chair closer and I would sit.. but the Night.. it is like deep into the Night.. where I am suppose to be sleeping the Most.. But I would have your picture on the Top of the Desk.. I turn on the side looking at the Door.. I see the Little Piano.. it is waiting for Me.. by the Door which it leads me to the Living ROOM.. the Little Piano looks.. and I look at the Little Piano.. it is telling me to Play so that I can tell YOU.. what is IN MY HEART which it says IN my Heart I love YOU.. I love you so Much that I am Not sure how much to Love any More.. do I have to love you so More.. but How BIG and Wide must this Love must carry through.. How can YOU tell.. but I would look at the Little Piano on the side by the door.. and I know.. I may Not be able to play a SONG.. it may Not come Out right.. YOU will not hear it right.. then.. How about the Letter.. maybe the Letter can over come and the Music YOU listen with YOUR ears of the TUNE of this Piano.. it may Not affect Your Hearing Loss.. but when YOU hear the Words.. the Letter.. I will let YOU hear the Letter that I am writing this Very Night.. as I turn the Other way is the Window.. pulling the Curtains UP.. I can see the Window.. and I can see the MOON from where I am sitting in this Room.. and I look at the Moon as I am sitting.. turning to the Moon.. thinking of YOU.. grabbing the Picture and looking at YOU through this Picture.. What am I suppose to do.. when can I see YOU.. when can YOU hear my Heart.. the Out cry that Comes from within me.. I want to tell YOU I love YOU.. I want to say to YOU that I love YOU so Much.. will you let me tell you these words of Mine to YOU.. will you let me ever come close to YOU and tell YOU how much I love YOU.. How about the times having when I really Really Missed YOU.. I want to pour a Wine on the Glass.. and I want to drink.. take a sip of the Wine of the Glass cup.. taking a Sip and when I face you.. when I see YOU.. I will be first approaching YOU.. holding Your Hands.. It has been so Long I have been waiting.. it took more than thousand days.. even ten thousand days had to pass me by.. how many weeks does it needs to pass by for YOU to ever miss Me.. How many Months does it needs to take for YOU to Miss me.. How many years must it pass by for YOU to miss me and see My Heart.. when will YOU KNOW that I be loving YOU for so Long.. do YOU know that every Night I miss YOU.. I can turn.. looking at the MOON.. if YOU ever have some time.. and when the Day turns into Night.. Please step Out side.. just once in a blue MOON will do.. as I be walking Out side.. Holding the Letter In my Hands.. I would be walking and I stop.. I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. and I would hold UP the Paper.. the Letter in my Hands.. and I would say.. if YOU hear me.. and the Little Piano is there with Me.. as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. my hands.. my fingers would be pressing the Key Bars.. I am Not sure what kind of sounds YOU can be hearing.. it is good that YOU are ON the Other Side.. if YOU can't hear the Key.. the sounds and the Tunes of this Piano.. I think it can be good for those ears.. instead of hearing the Words that I speak coming from the Heart which I would memorize the Written Words I have written in the Letter for YOU.. YOU may Not hear my words right.. I would be hitting the Key bars.. it is making a lot of sounds and a lot of noises on this Piano.. as I am pressing the Key Bars which it is bring Sounds Out.. I am Looking UP.. turning to the MOON.. and I know.. I can see Your Face inside the Moon.. as I would close my two eyes.. I would say.. DO you Hear Me.. do I must speak Louder to YOU for the waves to go across.. do I needs to Lose my Voice for YOU to hear me Now.. I been waiting for YOU.. but YOU have Not showed UP yet.. I have been waiting for Your Answer.. WHY can't YOU tell me that YOU Miss me.. why can't YOU be truly Honest with me for Once.. Please tell me that YOU love me Too.. Please tell me that YOU also can miss Me.. I been holding IN for a Long time.. I wanted to say it.. to tell YOU that I am missing you so Much right Now.. I am Not even looking at the Key Bars of this Little Piano.. so I have NO idea what I am playing.. If YOU were here.. I know you would tell me to Stop playing on that Little Piano because YOUR ears will Hurt.. and that is why I just can't stop.. if YOU can be hear and hear the sounds of this Little Piano which I am bringing Out some kind of Noise.. YOU will tell me to Stop because It is hurting Your Ears.. that is HOW MY Heart feels at this Point.. that I can't stop that It hurts if I choose to stop.. If I cannot tell YOU that I don't love you.. it hurts me more than the Tune.. the Playing.. the SOUND and the Noise.. It will kill me if YOU tell me to Stop telling YOU that I love YOU.. I can't breath.. I love that I love YOU.. I love the thoughts that I can tell YOU that I love YOU.. to able to tell you this is My Dreams come true.. dreaming of the Day.. I can hold Your hands and truly.. PULL you closer to Me.. and I will speak softly into Your ears.. and I will tell YOU one Hundred times.. How much I love YOU.. and I will tell YOU One thousand times.. how much I will love YOU.. I will cry if I can't say it to YOU any more.. I will sit and ball hard like a Child.. like a baby I can cry if I can't tell YOU that I love YOU.. I have been loving YOU for so Long.. WHY can't YOU see that In me.. I have been here all along.. why can't you accept it.. because it is NOT enough for YOU.. I am trying Hard to tell YOU.. I been here telling YOU that I love YOU.. the Joy that brings into my Heart.. when I am allowed to say it.. to tell it the way it is meant to be said.. I want to tell you that I love YOU.. as I am looking UP at the Moon.. I can feel the tears.. My Heart is burning.. My Heart is beating Hard.. my fingers pressing into the Little Piano.. I am Looking UP at the MOON at Night.. making all kinds of Sounds and Noises YOU just don't want to Hear.. that is why I am here on the Other side which You can't Hear it.. but the Words I am telling.. the Words I been writing to YOU all this time.. Letting YOU know that It is my Heart.. It is the Pencil which I pick UP.. it is the Piece of paper.. and writing to YOU which makes me Happy.. gives me Hopes and to dream Bigger for YOU and to love YOU more and more.. as my fingers stops pressing on the Key bars of this Little Piano.. I would still Look UP at the Moon.. and I would say in the Loud voice.. DO YOU hear Me.. can YOU Please Hear me standing here on the Other side.. I am waiting for YOU.. that is why when YOU take the TIME to come Out.. Please come out at Night.. when YOU can stand out alone.. and YOU can see the MOON above YOU.. what YOU will see is not Me playing on the Little Piano.. YOU are not going to see a Letter with two wings flying down to YOU.. But the MOON is going to show you the Tears that came Out of my eyes.. comes Out from the Heart.. comes Out from my Mind and my thoughts of thinking of YOU.. YOU will see the Moon so differently because the MOON will shows YOU tears.. My Tears because I love YOU.. My Tears because I miss YOU.. My Tears because YOU do Not understand my Heart.. But that is Okay If YOU don't get it now.. YOU may Not understand it ever.. but when A MAN like me Loves YOU.. maybe it can take thousand of Years later.. It can be when I am grey and an Old Man.. dying in the Bed.. it is Okay if YOU do not get it then either.. it can be when YOU come to visit my Own grave.. when I am Gone.. but Know that I loved YOU more than I ever loved myself.. I know that One day.. some day YOU will know who Loved YOU more.. as I am Looking at the MOON above me.. I am looking at the Letter I have written for YOU.. what am I suppose to do with this Letter.. I know that standing here.. LOOKING UP at the Moon.. YOU can't even hear my voice.. YOU can't even hear the Little Piano be playing.. did YOU hear the sounds and noises of this Little Piano.. I wish you can listen to My Heart Beat.. because I been pressing the key bars as I can hear my Own Heart beating for YOU.. thinking of YOU.. wishing to be with YOU.. Looking at your Picture.. wishing that I can be with YOU.. Can YOU hear me on the other side.. that is why I would stand here alone.. LOOKING at the MOON.. I would cry before the Moon.. because I want YOU to Hear Me.. I want you to able to receive what I can give.. I wish that YOU can Hear me.. but All I see is the MOON before me.. It does not Move.. Does not make any kinds of expression.. It does not speak back to Me.. but I still see the MOON standing still.. How do I get this Letter to YOU.. How am I suppose to deliver this Letter to YOU.. can you please show me the way to Your Heart.. please show me How can this Letter get into your hands.. as I grab the Little Piano into my Hands.. and I am walking back to the House.. and slowly I am walking away from the Moon.... the Door opens and I go into the House.
I love YOU.. do you know that these three words Hit me.. when I did Not hear from you the past few days.. the Word I love you came into my Heart when I would remember what the Doctor Told me.. he told me something that YOU have not mentioned about and I just wanted to tell YOU this from my Heart.. that I love YOU.. and all I think of YOU.. YOU be in my Mind.. YOU kept on being on my Heart and ON my Mind.. Why can't I just erase you Off my Mind.. I can't.. Please tell me How.. as I am looking at this Cabin Log home.. I want to remember what happened to Us.. You have left a Message on the Phone.. and hearing your Voice.. I would listen to Your Voice.. stop and play over and over.. trying to remember YOU.. it hurts me More than it hurts YOU because I have found another Picture.. it is YOU holding a Giant Teddy Bear.. and YOU are showing me this Peace Sign.. and it is that Smile that Get to me when I take a Look into that Picture.. where was this taken At.. How can I forget.. and YOU are Not helping me in any of this.. why can't you tell me where was it At.. I dialed YOUR number and I called YOU on the Phone.. but YOU would not pick up this Time.. I started to Beat on my Chest.. and I sat on the Floor.. Looking at this picture of YOU holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. I have the first Picture on the first Room.. and there is an Empty vase in the second Room.. and I found this Picture on the second Room.. when I lifted UP the Empty Vase.. this picture was underneath it.. I remember buying this Home.. but I do not know who it was that was selling me this Home.. Just love the Wood areas and far from the city side of Life.. just wanted to live this quiet life until I heard your Voice.. and it was YOU who were thanking me purchasing this Home.. I wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to meet YOU.. but YOU told me that it is Not the right TIME.. I remember walking into this Log Cabin Home.. the House was empty.. but there was this scent.. this smell of a perfume when I went into this Empty house.. this Empty home.. did Not know where the smell came from.. I would walk Out of the House.. looking around.. I saw no one.. but this Smell.. where does this soft smell of scent came from.. Is it that my memories are coming back slowly because I think I smelled this scent before.. I am trying to remember this smell but I know that I knew this smell.. Was it YOU who came to this Empty Home before I came.. I am wanting to Know.. so much questions going through my Mind.. I want answers.. when I first Unlocked the Door to enter.. the Smell Hit me like the thin air of cold Icy air.. it hit me in such a massive wave.. I know that someone had to be here.. because I heard that It was a New Home.. or was It Not.. does this Home belong to YOU.. or was it Mine in the past.. Please tell me something because I would like to know.. I remember after leaving the empty Home.. I would take a Long walk a long walk alone.. I was thinking about YOU.. because I heard Your Voice.. How excited Your Voice were because I bought this Home.. as I heard YOUR voice after leaving on the Message.. I would be walking.. holding the Phone in my Hand.. Placing the Speaker close to my ear.. I loved hearing your Voice.. wondering How do you Look on the Other side.. wishing can I meet YOU too.. as the Cold Breeze Hits into the Dark night.. I would see the MOON appear before Me.. snow on the Floor.. and I kept on walking.. playing to Listen to your Voice.. Is there a way I can speak back to YOU.. is there a way I can call the Number and tell YOU what My Heart truly thinks of Your Voice.. of course I did Not see your picture around this TIME.. it was the first day after I came Out of the Hospital.. waking UP to a Coma.. but the Doctor telling me that I am good to go.. that I can walk well.. leaving the Hospital I went straight to the New Home.. which I was surprised of getting a Home in the first place.. a message and a Picture came on the Phone.. with the direction to the Location.. and I took the taxi and the man drove me there.. with the key in my hands.. I think the Doctor knew something but He did Not tell me anything.. just gave me the keys to the new Home.. I don't remember when I bought this House.. that is why I feel so strange walking into this New Home.. I am looking at the walls of the Room.. the second room I am standing.. my hand touch the wall.. I don't know what to do.. what am I suppose to say about this situation.. I feel so Lost and so confused because I am standing in a new Home.. but I don't remember any one of this.. I would look at the Phone.. and I am looking at your Picture YOU send me.. and asking me DO I remember YOU.. It hurts Me.. But YOU are so Beautiful.. YOU are so Lovely.. why are YOU sticking around towards a man who has lost everything.. I don't even remember right Now.. as the Doctor gave me the Keys to the new House.. He tells me something before HE let me go.. that there was someone who was here with me.. when I was laying on the Bed.. In the Coma.. for many days.. there was this One woman who came.. and YOU sat next to me while I was sleeping for a long time.. the Doctor said that I may Not wake UP.. but Only Time will tell but YOU came next to me.. and Would Hold my Hand.. and would come to spend next with me during the long nights.. and that when He.. the doctor comes to check.. YOU would be sleeping next to me holding my hands.. the Doctor looks over.. and sees tears rolling down my eyes.. and I think it is because of YOU I just could not GO.. I wanted to go.. go somewhere far.. but it was Your hands the doctor saw and How YOU kept on coming by my side.. until the Good news came that I was waking UP slowly from this Long sleep of COMA.. that is when the Doctor told me YOU came.. every night.. holding my hands and slept next to me.. and My tears.. I kept on crying because I wanted to GO.. I wanted YOU to let me go BUT your Hands would Not let me go.. Your TOUCH.. your hands which Hold my Hand tight and say YOU can't let me go.. I remember the day my eyes opened.. I was Not sure where I was.. of course it was that Accident.. and I would asked the Doctor.. what had happened to Me.. and How did I get here in this Bed.. the Doctor says.. it was a hit and run.. but I survived that crash which could of ended my life.. someone was drunk and hit the Car.. and He ran with his car.. and the Doctor showed me the Picture of my car which was crushed into pieces.. and I know that I have an Angel who was On my side.. that Night.. YOU came after the Police saw Your Picture on the Phone.. YOU were on the front of the screen.. and the doctor tells YOU the News.. that a big damage to my Head caused me to Loss some memories.. Maybe never I will remember YOU.. after I heard this from the Doctor showing me the picture of my Brain damage.. I cried.. I won't remember the Angel who was standing next to Me.. Holding my Hands when I was laying asleep.. I can this Happen to Me.. How can this One accident causes so much Pain in my Heart.. I want to remember YOU.. and I remember looking at the Phone.. which the Doctor gave to Me.. the front cover of the screen.. Your Picture was there and I would take a Look.. and I would say.. I don't remember YOU.. who is this person.. and It broke my Heart.. But has to be someone very special for to be in the cover of the screen.. the Doctor looks at me and tells me.. the One who was holding Your hands when I was asleep in the COMA.. it was YOU my Angel who came.. when I wanted to Go.. It was just too hard to stay alive.. I wanted to rest.. I wanted to go.. But Your Hands.. it was Your Touch.. your Faith that brought me back to where I can breathe Now.. and When I heard this from the Doctor.. I would cry looking at the Picture of YOU.. my Angel.. why can't I remember the Angel who stood by my side.. YOU could of ran too.. Just like I got Hit.. and some one ran.. even when YOU heard that I have this brain damage.. when didn't YOU ran with that.. as I sat there.. listening to the doctor.. which It was HIM who saw all these things.. and wanted to tell me that I have an angel WHO loved Me so much.. that I should Never let YOU go.. and Yes.. when I told the doctor that YOU could of ran.. he said to me.. I am right.. but YOU did Not run off like that.. came every Night.. when things were so dark.. and just stood there in silence.. there was NO need for words of exchange.. but Just your presence.. YOUR hands which held my Hands.. it was YOU who got to my Hands.. and I felt your love.. I felt it at the Most Hardest times.. at the desperate moment of trying to Let GO.. trying to go somewhere very far.. But YOU are the Angel who came.. it was Your Love which brought tears to my eyes.. I felt it in my Heart.. I felt it deep into my Heart.. just YOU being there.. DID NOT need to hear anything.. but YOU just being next to Me.. and HOLDING my Hands telling me that YOU WILL NOT LET ME GO and that kept my Heart to beat again.. it kept my blood to turn warm to HOT.. Only YOU who was there to help me at the most desperate life threatening situation.. it was YOU who was there.. and I wanted to say.. I love YOU.. even though I may Not remember YOU yet.. I still love YOU because I heard what you have did when I was left alone for the fight of my life in COMA.. as I am in the Second ROOM.. in this New Home.. I am looking at the new Picture I found.. YOU are holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. with a Big SMILE showing me the Peace Sign.. as I would look at the Phone.. I would press the Play to Hear your Voice.. it has been few days since you called me and left me the Voice Message.. I am wondering.. where are YOU at.. YOU told me that YOU are going to be calling me SOON.. if few days has passed by.. can I call YOU.. so I can hear YOUR voice.. I wanted to tell YOU that I love YOU
You left few days ago.. but when Can I hear Your New voice Now.. I want to hear a new message coming from You.. I miss your Voice.. so will you pick up the Phone if I call YOU.. as I would send YOU a text message and I would send it to Your Number.. and I would sit and wait for Your response on the Other side.. and I get a Message.. a written text message back from YOU.. just did Not think you would answer back so quickly.. and I would call.. dial UP your number and let it ring.. few times the ring I would hear.. and I hear Your Voice.. and I would say to YOU.. I been thinking about the Day I woke UP.. waking UP from the Hospital.. and I would hear what the Doctor says to me.. that I wanted to say you are my Angel.. I wish that I can be an angel Like YOU.. so that I can be the One to make YOU smile More.. would you let me be an Angel for just One Day.. of course If you are wondering.. DO I remember YOU.. to be honest.. I am still lost.. Unable to remember YOU.. but I wanted to ask YOU something.. can YOU Please help me to Know YOU.. to find the Memory back of YOU.. will you please show me How to remember so that I can just love YOU the way YOU should be loved.. and I would pause.. and I don't hear any word from YOU.. but I do hear YOU saying.. Yes.. YOU were there at the Hospital and it was YOU who was next to Me.. but of course.. I needed to remember YOU first so that YOU can tell me More.. and it keeps on hurting Me.. it keeps on hurting me because I do want to remember.. I want to know what has happened.. about everything.. But.. if YOU are not going to help me.. How am I suppose to Know.. Please tell me.. please Help me so that I can feel what real Love.. what true Love is all about.. my Heart is beating fast whenever I would listen and hear your Voice.. but I want to love YOU and say it Like I mean it because I know that I do love YOU.. that is why I am asking YOU to help me to find the way.. so that I can be in your Heart.. and YOU in my Heart as I remember everything about us.. I am looking at your Picture.. looking at you smiling.. I just wish I can remember this Place.. I am wondering.. who is the One who has taken this Picture.. I know that someone had to stand on the Other side.. and had to look through the lens of the camera.. and just focusing on YOU.. and had to click to take that picture.. as I am in the second room.. looking at the Vase.. the empty Vase.. and looking at your picture.. I wish that It was me.. was it me who was standing on the Other side.. was it really me?? YOU told me that I was with YOU.. and that YOU asking me if I remember any of all these things.. why is it so Hard.. it is so difficult on my part because I want to go back and remember all of these things that has happened.. but the More I am trying to think about YOU.. the more it seems harder to remember these times.. and the Voice.. Your voice I hear when I am talking to you on the Phone.. when YOU call me.. and I would answer.. I am wondering How did I get into this House.. because I just don't remember.. I even saw few people walking in.. the Movers with their truck.. putting all kinds of things into this House.. how did these people got here.. I have so much questions.. but I know that it is you who are putting all these things through.. I am standing in the second room.. looking at your picture.. the only One thing that I can look through.. but I just want to remember YOU.. How did we meet.. How did I fall in love with YOU.. what happened.. I know that YOU told me I got into the car wreck.. could of died in the accident but I guess just the Life that is still in me.. I should be truly thankful to be even alive.. as I am looking at your picture.. I can hear the Phone ringing.. and I see your Picture I have put on the Phone.. and it shows me who is calling me.. as I would pick up the Phone.. putting against my ear to listen to Your Voice.. I wonder.. are you ever going to show UP.. are you going to stop by to visit me.. can you please Help me to remember more about YOU.. because YOU are still a mystery to Me.. I needs to know more.. I needs to ask More.. I want to find out more about YOU.. but.. I know that YOU don't say too much.. why are you being like this to me.. YOU are the one who calls me.. but never say too much.. WHY.. Please tell me what is holding you back to say.. I know that YOU want to say something.. please tell me.. Please tell me because I too have an ear to hear your words.. only if YOU can share and express what is deep in your Heart.. I really wants to know.. and I am looking at another Picture.. this Picture is a Heart.. a red Heart.. why did YOU place this Picture next to Your Picture.. what does this Heart Picture means.. what are you trying to tell me.. Are you telling me that YOU love a Heart.. or trying to tell me that YOU have a Heart.. or are you asking me DO I have a Heart or do I love a Heart.. I must know why.. why put it next to your Picture on the second room.. as I am looking at the two picture on top of the desk.. my hand holding the Phone.. I can hear the breathing.. can I ask YOU something.. WHY is there a picture of A Heart.. who has taken this Picture and why did it be placed in this Desk and I would hear you say.. that I would Love the Heart.. and I am standing here.. with a Question Mark.. that I love a Heart.. does that Means it was me who has taken this Picture.. I know that the first room.. it has a Bed and on the top of the Bed.. I saw a Heart.. it was a pillow Heart.. and It was Me who has taken that picture.. but why can't I remember.. I don't remember taken any picture.. and I would think back.. a little flash back.. I see you sitting on the Top of the Bed.. your arms holding around the Red Heart Pillow.. and I would hear you even tell me the same thing on the Phone.. that one night.. I came into the first room.. and YOU were sitting down on the top of the Bed.. and I would stand and I would watch YOU.. your Arms around the Red Heart.. telling me that YOU love red Heart.. and would smile as you would squeeze it.. and YOU put on the bed next to YOU.. and I would walk closer.. hands holding the camera.. and I would put my eye close to the Lens of the Camera and ZOOM closer.. and snap Shot taking a picture.. and as I put the camera down.. I would turn to look at YOU and I would say.. I want this Heart.. But I want your Heart like this.. can I please have your Heart.. would you please give me YOUR HEART because I truly need it.. I want to have It.. Have your Heart.. and I would see you smile as I would turn to walk away from the first room.. as I am standing still in the Second ROOM.. I am able to get or catch a glimpse.. I think little by little.. things are coming that I am beginning to see something.. Still I can't remember but the little pieces of puzzle like.. I feel like YOU are truly helping me to find YOU back to my Heart.. I know that I loved YOU once that is before the Car accident.. I still can feel inside that I still love YOU.. when YOU are telling me these things on the Phone.. YOU are helping me because without YOU.. How can I know.. it is what YOU know that is bringing things back.. but slowly it is taking a long time.. YOU know that I love YOU.. I have never stopped loving YOU.. only YOU can bring my Heart to be alive.. Only YOU can help me to love YOU once again because I never stopped loving YOU.. as I would turn away.. my Hand holding the Picture of the Heart.. the red Heart.. I would walk out of the second room.. I wonder if I can see Your Heart.. I want to know the color of Your Heart.. would you let me see the color of the Heart.. does it look like this Heart.. the red Heart in the picture.. would you let me see the Color of Your Heart.. because I love this red Heart.. as I would walk out the front door.. it is very cold outside.. and I am standing.. with the Jacket on.. I walk to the front.. LOOKING at the flurry of snows falling from the sky.. and my Hand.. holding the picture of the Red Heart.. I would lift up my arm.. and I can see the Picture.. I lift to see the Red Heart in the Photo.. I want to see your Heart.. I want to touch Your Heart.. I want to know and want to see the color.. can I take a Picture of Your Heart.. I means your Real Heart.. so that I can put this away and look at your Real Heart.. the shape and the color.. and get close so that I can tell your Heart something.. that Maybe if I can see the real Heart of Yours.. I can bring the memories I have lost and can remember everything about YOU.. I really want to know.. I want to be the One who can tell your Heart.. as I have the Phone on the Other hand.. I know that YOU are still there.. because I did not hang UP.. I wanted you to hear my voice.. I wanted you to hear my words as I am speaking looking at the Picture of the Red Heart.. I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. even though I don't remember much.. I know that IN my Heart.. I still be loving YOU.. because looking at the Red Heart.. it is making me share and express How my thoughts.. that I want to see YOU.. I want to see you visit me.. even though I may not be able to go to you.. I wish that YOU can come to me because I am waiting for YOU.. when are you going to come.. I don't want to take the picture of the Red Heart because it is only a Pillow that is laying on top of the Bed.. what I truly want now is to look at your real Heart.. to see the color of Your Heart.. to take a picture of Your Heart.. and I want to ask YOU about the Vase.. the empty Vase that is in the second room.. I have all these Questions that Only YOU know.. only the answers you can give.. but I do not want to hear Your Voice.. even though I love hearing your Voice.. I want to see you in Person and to hear from YOU.. so that I can be near YOU.. only if YOU can come.. come visit me.. help me to know what this is all about.. because Only you have the answers I am looking for.. Only if YOU were here.. if you were close by.. and if YOU
That YOU are moving On.. what if YOU tell me that YOU are tired of waiting for me.. what if YOU tell me Not to love you any more.. that is why I just can't lose YOU.. as I am walking into the first room.. and I stop to turn to look at the Bed.. the Phone on One hand.. and the Picture.. the Red Heart in the Other hand.. I am looking at the Bed.. I see the Red Heart.. it is laying on top of the Bed.. I put the Phone close to my ear.. I want to tell YOU.. I want to see you here.. It be nice to see you sitting on the top of the bed.. I want to see you Holding.. your arms wrapped around the Red Heart.. would you please come and let me take a picture of YOU holding the Red Heart.. I have the picture of YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful with a lovely smile.. I have the picture of the red Heart.. but what I am missing is the picture of YOU holding this Red Heart.. to fill in the missing link.. if YOU can come.. come and visit just for one day.. so that I can take this one Picture of YOU.. I want to take that picture.. your arms around.. holding and squeezing this Red Heart.. and What I will say.. DO I love YOU.. the More you can hold your arms around the Heart.. the red Heart.. I will say that I do Love YOU.. please squeeze my Heart.. Please Hold My Heart.. if you don't.. then I am going to be the one to hold and squeeze your Heart and I will tell your Heart.. please love Me.. Please can I tell YOU that I love YOU.. Please just love me.. love my Heart so that I can tell your Heart.. that I love YOU.. Now I am missing YOU.. missing this One picture.. YOU are holding the Red Heart.. only YOU can hold it while I take the picture of YOU holding it.. I am looking at the window.. as I am in the room.. I just keep on thinking of YOU.. I know that I am missing YOU.. will I ever see YOU.. and I would walk closer to the window.. and I would kneel and looking Out the window.. I am wondering.. do you think as much as I am thinking of YOU.. I can see that the Moon is come Up.. I am wondering what YOU are doing.. who are you thinking of.. is it snowing over there.. is it raining.. How cold is it there.. and I would look UP and I see the Moon.. it is staring at Me.. and I put my hands together.. I wonder if some one can hear me.. Hear the Heart inside crying.. because I miss YOU.. I want to be with YOU.. but why can't I be with YOU.. when will the time be when I can hold Your Hand.. and Pull you closer to tell your ear.. how much I been missing YOU.. how much I been loving YOU.. even though I want to say it this time.. why is it so hard.. why is it so difficult to tell you.. this distance.. it feels like from in the room.. I am looking Out the window.. Looking UP toward the Moon.. that kind of distance that leaves me puzzled.. and will you tell me Yes.. will you let me love YOU.. I feel like YOU don't want me to love YOU because LOOK how much I needed to wait for YOUR yes to come to me.. or is it No in your Heart.. I am over here tonight.. Looking for an Angel.. WILL the Angel hear me this very night.. can the Angel hear my voice.. or the Angel is Not there.. and I am looking UP.. looking around.. I can't see the Angel.. I don't see any Angel over here.. But I wish that the Angel can hear me.. I wanted to ask.. can I borrow two Wings.. can I have two wings.. I know that staying here in my room.. looking through the window.. and just looking UP to the Moon.. this distance is not going to take me any where.. I be missing YOU.. I want to tell YOU something.. I need to say something.. Let my words say something.. kneeling here and just looking UP at the Moon.. it is going to take me No where.. I want to be with YOU.. I want to Hold YOU.. if it is cold there.. If it is snowing.. or raining.. I want to Hold YOU.. let my hands touch your hands.. let me pull you closer.. so that I can hear your Heart Beating against Mine.. will you let me stay by your side please.. I am looking for the Angel.. I been praying and wishing for an Angel.. I would enter the room.. and I would look at the window.. and I would walk closer to the window in the room and kneel.. looking through the window.. asking.. Are you there.. I am speaking to the Angel.. I know that YOU can hear Me.. because every Night.. I come to the same spot.. asking for the Angel.. I know that YOU be tired of hearing me asking for the same thing.. so why Not just show UP and tell me that YOU are there.. can I have your two wings.. I need two wings.. If you can't give me two wings.. at least let me borrow two wings from YOU.. can YOU Please say something.. I need two wings.. and if the angel would finally show UP and tell me.. I am going to look UP.. Angel.. I want to have your two wings.. and can I borrow it just for one Night.. I want to spend my time Just being by YOUR side.. if the Angel Allows me to borrow two Wings.. I would place the wings on the right and left of the shoulder blade.. and I know that just for that One Night.. I want to be Your Angel.. and I be asking You.. can I fly over the Moon.. and if YOU believe in an Angel.. at least YOU know that I love YOU.. this Angel will Not let YOU GO.. this Angel will stay by your side.. just to tell YOU that I love YOU.. YOU know how much I missed YOU.. How much I been loving YOU and still been loving YOU.. I want be sitting on the top of the tree branch.. just watching you from the distance.. and having YOUR picture in my Hand.. to show YOU NOT to be afraid of me.. Look.. I will tell you.. LOOK at the Picture.. I am not a stranger.. and I would be with a Letter.. LOOK.. I am the One who has been typing YOU.. sharing to YOU how much I love YOU.. so that YOU would not step back or scream.. the Prove that On the Other side.. for a Long Long time.. I been asking for Your Heart.. for YOU TO Love me too.. even though I am not asking you right Now.. but I am asking you.. will you please love me some day.. I do not know How long it is going to take but until YOU can tell me that YOU love me.. but I would show UP as your angel.. and I would flap the two wings and I would lower to look at YOU.. and I would say.. I did not come here to hurt YOU.. I did not come here to scare you either.. I came here to say.. I have been missing YOU for such a Long time.. I had to ask.. I had to beg.. I had to pray.. I had to wish.. and Many Many Many Nights.. I would enter the room.. and go to the window in the room.. and kneel.. I would LOOK UP to see the Moon.. and I open the window and I would be asking for an Angel.. if the Angel is real or true.. and I would be asking for the Angel to answer me.. I would keep on going to the same spot.. until One night the Angel came down to the Window I was kneeling.. I just could not believe my eyes.. I started to cry when I saw the Angel and the Angel asked me why I kept on calling for Him and I asked the Angel.. two wings to Borrow.. just for one Night.. and I would show the Angel the Picture of YOU.. and I been telling the angel My Heart.. How much I been missing YOU.. How many nights I had to come out.. asking for you.. I would start just standing Out side by the House.. and Looking at the Moon.. I would pour out my Heart to the Moon about YOU.. and I knew that NO matter How much I would tell that Moon.. the Moon is Not going to tell me any thing.. it hurts because I wanted YOU to know.. so I went to the room and I believed in the Angel.. Maybe the Angel can Help me instead.. so that is when I started to call for the Angel.. which the angel came.. I asked to borrow the two wings.. which the Angel gave to me for just one Night.. I showed the angel the Letter I been writing to YOU and also the Picture of YOU and I had to be the one to go to see YOU.. I been missing YOU so much lately.. I just had to come.. Now.. I been sitting on the tree branch.. I saw YOU in a distance in a shop.. so I waited.. Of course I did not mean to scare YOU.. but the Angel gave me the permission to be an Angel for this one Night.. Now I am looking at YOU.. I don't want to leave.. I want to stay by your side.. and be there with YOU.. I want tell you how much I love YOU and if I do go.. I know that I am going to be missing YOU.. I hate missing YOU when I love YOU.. why can't YOU come with Me.. or why can't I stay with you.. I brought the Letter to show YOU.. it is Me who been telling YOU and sharing you my Heart.. so that YOU would not think I am crazy.. Do you see this letter.. Do you see the Picture.. it is YOU.. I been having this picture for a Long time.. and Only this Picture.. when I feel down.. I would take a LOOK at your picture.. I can't stop crying.. Because YOU Look so much prettier.. Because YOU look so much Beautiful.. Why do you have to be this Pretty.. WHY do you have to be this Beautiful.. When YOU Love some one.. YOU look much more Beautiful in my eyes then ever.. I don't know what it is.. maybe it is because My Heart sees so much More.. I see Love that Only I can bring and tell and give to YOU.. I just want to hold YOU.. to tell YOU that I have never stopped loving YOU.. I came all down way.. flying over the Moon.. Just to see YOU for this One Night.. Now.. I don't want to leave.. I can't go because I know that I be missing YOU again.. I want to see YOU again.. I want to tell YOU how beautiful YOU are.. How much I want to be with YOU.. that when YOU leave.. when I go.. I know that I am going to ask the Angel again for the two wings.. if I can have the two wings so that I can every Night.. flying over the Moon.. waiting for YOU.. sitting on that Same Tree on that branch.. Just to tell YOU how much I miss YOU and how much I love YOU.. but Now.. since I saw YOU.. and I gave you the letter.. I know that I have to go.. YOU are the Only One who I love.. that is why I just can't go.. I just wanted to say.. I been on the Other side.. just waiting for YOU.. I even stoop by the House.. when the Moon came UP at Night.. I would stare at the MOON as it stare at me.. and I would hold Your Picture.. asking if the Moon can speak
Just can't leave.. But I know that I must because I made the Promise to return.. to give back the two wings that I borrowed.. But I came here to see YOU.. I kept on missing YOU.. just looking at your Picture was not Enough.. just telling YOU through writings was Not enough for Me.. I started More.. I started to feel in my Heart I want More of YOU.. I want Your Love.. I want to see YOU.. your Presence.. your Smile.. Your Beautiful.. Your Scent.. I wanted More because My Heart started to Love YOU more.. I want More of YOU because I love you a lot More now.. why can't I be with YOU.. WHY can't I hold YOU.. my arms is killing me because it is YOU I want to hold so tight.. I want to hold you close to tell YOU.. why can't YOUR Heart be opened to me.. please tell your Heart to be open to me so that YOU will know who is the ONE been loving YOU.. It is Me who loves YOU.. I don't think there is Another WHO can Love you More and More as I can because I am able to tell YOU Heart to Heart.. if a Person is like a wall.. what good is that Person.. do NOT tell you how Much but YOU know that I can tell YOU.. PULL you into my arms.. and LOOK at your ear and I will speak.. telling YOU.. I am the One who Loves YOU.. Open your Heart.. Please.. Tell your Heart to Open to me so I can tell you more and more.. I love YOU.. as I am holding Your hand.. My hand just can't let Go.. and It is killing me because I know that it is time for me to go.. I am looking at your Picture.. sitting by the window.. Looking UP at the Moon.. and just being able to fly across the Moon.. asking the Angel if I can borrow two Wings.. I have written another Letter.. I want to give you this Letter that is in my Hands.. when I came Home.. I saw the Angel waiting for Me.. My Heart broken into pieces and started to Miss YOU all over again.. When can I see YOU again.. when can I see YOU.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. and I am looking at the Angel.. Can I borrow the two wings again.. I made a Promise to YOU that I am going to give YOU another Letter.. just to tell YOU how I truly feel.. just to share to YOU about what is deep in my Mind.. deep in my thoughts.. just to tell you that I love YOU.. Only if YOU can accept the Letter I give.. will you take the Letter again.. When I saw the Angel.. who was waiting for me.. I would ask this Angel.. How can I be an Angel.. because I just want to be close to YOU.. even though I do not ask for your Love.. I am not asking YOU.. can YOU love me.. it is what is in my Heart.. who is the One loving YOU.. I am truly feeling like I am filled and Full just by loving YOU.. and the Angel would look at me.. if I become the An angel.. I can't ever be with YOU.. but can be Near YOU.. be close to YOU and Just love YOU from the Far.. from the distance just to be there and just to love YOU and Only thing I can do is miss YOU.. and I would ask the Angel.. am I able to share.. tell and write letters to YOU.. the Angel tells me.. I still can.. I can always love YOU.. and able to tell you.. express the Joy of loving YOU.. I do remember begging this Angel.. that I needed to borrow the two wings.. or if I can be an Angel instead.. as long as I can love YOU.. as long as I can write you Letters to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. so I made the Deal with Angel.. he is going to bring me two wings and gives to me as a Gift and I will become Your Angel.. the One who loves YOU from a far and from distance.. I do remember sitting by the desk.. pulling Out the White Sheet of Clean Paper.. grabbing a Pen and started to write YOU a Letter.. to tell YOU this.. I would say.. I am Your Angel.. Please do not be afraid of Me.. but to know how much I love YOU.. when I get close to the window and the Sun goes down and the Moon with the Stars comes UP the sky.. I would open the Window and stare into the Night.. just thinking of YOU.. just missing YOU always.. I do not want to miss you any more.. there is this Ache in my Heart.. there is this Pain in my soul.. looking into the Night.. Looking at the Moon.. I am watching the Moon looking at me.. and when I look at the Moon.. I think of YOU.. YOU keep on crossing my Mind.. I can feel this pain.. a sharp Pain because I want to be close to YOU.. When can I see YOU.. When can I come close to YOU and reveal to YOU that It is Me who be loving you the Most.. would you please let me come close.. so that I don't have to keep on missing YOU.. I feel like I needs to make this Move first.. that I needs to get close.. even though I may not be able to be with YOU.. I know that if I am your Angel.. at least I get to see YOU.. see you closer and able to love you More because I don't miss YOU.. this wall.. this distance that is not able to let me get to YOU.. I know that I must break down the wall.. break down the distance.. this missing YOU.. so that I can be at least to tell YOU that I love YOU.. it is driving me Insane.. it is driving me crazy Now because I know my Heart.. I know what is IN my Heart and WHO I be loving for such a Long time.. that is why Now.. I just want to be close.. would you please accept these Letters that I write.. I just want to tell you what crosses my Mind.. and that without YOU.. I know that I can't Live.. without YOU I can't breathe so Please Help me to Love YOU more.. as I am writing on the Clean Sheet of Paper.. and I hear the Knock on the window.. and I turn to Look.. it is the Angel who has brought me the gift.. the two Wings.. NO more asking to borrow but Now I have two wings.. Once I put the two Wings on the Back.. I will become Your Angel.. who can be near YOU.. Not missing YOU no More.. I see the Angel leaves the two Wings by the Window and He leaves.. I am looking at your Picture.. I am so sorry that I have to be an Angel.. only thing I can do is to be Close.. just to be there and just loving you from the Distance.. But I do get to tell you how much I love YOU.. at least I have the Voice to share from these letters.. to tell you I love YOU.. for so long.. I have never stopped loving YOU.. will you please let me Love YOU still.. as I open the Window and grabbing the two wings.. I am looking at them.. both hands holding the two wings.. I am looking at your Picture sitting on the top of the desk.. I can't breathe.. because it is so Hard for me to breathe right Now.. I want to go.. I want to be with YOU Now.. if I can't do this.. I know I be going crazy.. so please understand why I am doing this for YOU.. I put the two Wings on my Back.. and I fall on the Floor.. and crying.. as I am holding your Picture.. IN my hand is your Picture.. I want to be with YOU.. I want to be with YOU forever.. If I stay here.. I know that I will miss you more.. and Missing YOU drives me Crazy and in such great pain.. I feel aches all over my body.. I am wiping my tears as I am looking at your Picture.. why do I have to be so far from YOU.. why do YOU have to live so far that I must do this.. WHY.. as I feel this Change.. I become Your Angel.. but as long as I can still love YOU and tell YOU How much I love YOU.. I don't care what happens to Me.. as long as YOU know.. YOU know that My Love for you is surreal.. that I love you for real.. and as long as YOU get this Message.. I am looking at the Bottle.. I been taking few shots.. before I would write you a Letter.. I would have the shot Glass.. and with the Bottle of Rice Wine.. I would pour on the Shot Glass.. My Heart could not take this Pain.. this Ache.. so I started to drink.. so that I don't feel this Pain in my Heart.. help Me to love YOU.. Help me by accepting the Letters so that I know that I have a chance to Love YOU... as I would stand UP.. on two feet.. I would roll the Paper and I would grab the Empty Bottle of the rice wine.. put the Rolled paper into the Bottle.. and I am standing.. walking to the window.. and I am looking at the Moon.. I would walk away from the room and go out side.. as I am standing outside.. One hand holding your Picture.. Looking at your Picture.. and On the Other hand I holding the Letter inside the Bottle.. I know that I must get to YOU.. I must fly over the Moon and go where YOU at.. Please be where I met YOU.. Please know that I am coming and I am going to YOU.. I have just written a Letter.. I have told YOU in the letter.. I have asked the Angel.. if I can be Your Angel.. so that I can be near YOU and love you from the distance.. if I stay here.. How can I show YOU that I love YOU.. How can I tell YOU that I love YOU.. so Now.. just standing here.. going out side and just looking at the Moon is Not going to do anything for Me.. I hope that when YOU receive the Message.. the Letter inside this Bottle.. will you open the Letter.. will you please accept and read it.. because I put so much time and thoughts.. my Heart into each Letter.. letting YOU know How much I miss YOU.. I miss you that It drives me Insane.. I miss you that it drives me crazy.. if YOU can't come to me.. then I will go to YOU.. but Now as your Angel.. please accept my Heart.. Please accept the Letters I give YOU.. and I am looking UP the MOON as I am speaking from My Heart.. I am looking UP at the Moon and telling these Words to the Moon.. I know that YOU can't hear me.. because of the distance.. for being so far away.. but I will let you know soon as I fly over the Moon to the Place you are.. Please Open YOUR Heart.. Please let me In.. Open your Heart for Me.. and please don't reject how much I love YOU.. how much I miss YOU.. Please open your Heart and receive and accept.. I am crying Out as I am saying these things.. LOOKING UP at the Moon.. Looking at your Picture.. Holding hard on the Bottle.. I want to give.. I want to give as much as I can.. I want to give YOU how much I love YOU.. I just want to give you my ALL.. my everything to YOU.. and the two wings starts to flap.. as I feel myself being lifted from the Ground.. WHY must I change to Love YOU.. why can't I love you for Me.. WHY do I must
The Small Two bed room Home.. I am wondering.. why did I even buy a House with two rooms.. I have no one coming over.. but I know that If I prepare the place.. Maybe.. some one will show Up.. I have never met the person who use to Live in this Small Log Cabin house.. as I walk into One of the rooms.. There is a Desk.. I wonder why someone has left this Desk Behind.. something stops me before I turn to walk away.. I see something on the TOP of the Desk.. what is It.. I am wondering.. what is It.. SO I would walk closer to the Desk.. there is a Written Note.. and Next to the Note is a Picture.. of course I can only see the back of the Picture.. I am wondering.. maybe it must be the Picture of the Person who use to live in this Small Log Cabin House.. But why would some one leave a precious Gift behind.. if I lived in this House.. I know for sure I will Not leave anything special.. or Precious to me behind.. But.. should I turn the Picture over to see who this Person is.. I am standing there.. thinking of.. but I know that this is Not my picture.. WHY would I turn it over to look if it is Not for Me.. I am sure.. maybe the Person was in a rush.. and has forgotten to take this Picture.. but.. WHY would YOU write a Note for me.. I know that the written Note.. it is telling me.. giving me an instruction.. but why would you tell me something.. I can just live whatever I want.. I see the Note Next to the Picture.. Both are facing where I cannot see.. as I would stop.. maybe I should take a Look.. must be very important if YOU have written for the New Home Owner.. which I have purchased this Small Log Cabin Home from YOU.. I have never met YOU.. but Of course I do remember before the Contract.. YOU called me on the Phone.. and Got a chance to listen to Your Beautiful Voice.. Now.. I am very curious.. YOUR voice.. truly felt like I was listening to an Angel.. I know that If you sang a SONG.. I bet it would melt my Heart like the Snow Flakes.. I would stand Out side.. before I came to the DOOR.. to Unlock.. I would LOOK Up to the sky.. My hand opens.. I would watch the Falling snow flakes.. when It touched my hand.. it just melted and maybe Your Voice.. if YOU sang to Me.. My Heart can melt the way the Snow Flakes can melt into my hands.. I was smiling because I been living in apartment for a Long time.. just paying rent to rent monthly.. But.. Now.. able to purchase a new Home.. Out here in the Country side.. walking and climbing on the mountains.. just enjoying the fresh cold air as I would be walking through the Snow.. never felt so Alive in my life.. But Now.. I am here.. inside this Small Log Cabin Home.. and I just walked into a ROOM.. YOU did not take the desk.. there is a Picture laying on the TOP of the desk face down.. with a written Note facing down.. I am just wondering.. I remember when I picked UP the Phone.. and hearing your voice on the Other side.. on the Other line.. Your Voice.. it truly touched my Heart.. I begin to wonder more about YOU because of this Sensational touch.. Your Voice moved my Heart.. I felt it kick inside of Me.. and never felt that way before.. so I would start wondering.. I wonder How YOU would look.. as YOU were so happy to sell the House and even telling me Congratulation on the purchase of the New Home.. as I would share with YOU how I lived in rents all my Life.. but able to get a house means everything to me.. giving me a great deal in the purchase.. of course I wanted to ask YOU.. if YOU can sing.. because I wanted to know if YOU can sing.. can YOU sing a song so that I can listen to Your voice with my Heart opened.. but of course I never asked.. YOU probably think I am a crazy person.. as I am standing by the desk.. My hand grabs the Picture.. I wanted to turn it over.. I wanted to see the person who I just spoke with ON the Phone.. YOUR voice.. I just want to hear again.. can I listen to Your Voice.. would you let me call you on the Phone so that I can listen.. My Heart wants to listen to Your Voice again.. before I want to ask YOU.. I want to know how you look.. why are you so Nice.. why are you so kind to me.. I want to know who YOU are.. WHY would you leave this Picture behind if YOU have never met me.. if YOU have never seen me in person.. why leave me Your Precious gift.. Your Special gift.. I am nothing but a stranger to YOU.. what if I am a weird person.. some crazy person.. would YOU not be afraid of Me.. As I grab the Picture and turn to LOOK at it.. I see YOU sitting.. and My Heart jumps.. My Heart skips missing that Beat.. Just like Your Voice.. soft and beautiful.. I see your picture.. I see YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful too.. YOU are so Lovely.. feels like YOU can take my breathe way.. then what happens to my Breathe if you take it from Me.. what are you doing to me Now.. WHY leave this Picture behind and when I see this Picture.. I can feel my Breathe.. it wants to be released from Me.. I can't breathe.. my eyes wants to say I can't breathe because YOU are so Beautiful.. as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. YOU are sitting down.. and I am wondering what is it that YOU are holding.. Why are you holding a Vase.. is it a vase for flowers.. I am not sure why YOU are leaving this Picture with Me.. what does it means.. why are you showing me this Picture for.. I have no clue.. I have no idea.. but why are you letting me see this picture.. and making my Heart to say I want to cry.. I have never met you before.. But How is this possible for Me.. why do I feel like I want to love YOU.. please tell me how can this be true because I have never met you before.. as I am looking at your arms holding this vase.. why is it empty.. are YOU not suppose to put something into that Vase.. it is an empty Vase Your hands are holding.. Please.. OH Please tell me what is the meaning of this because I want to know.. I have no clue.. I have no idea why you are showing me this.. I don't see any empty Vase.. but only this Picture.. with a Note.. so I would go over.. my hand grabs the Note and flips to look.. and YOU have written to me about the Picture.. and telling me about the Vase.. an Empty Vase.. and YOU have left it on the Other Room.. and I am not sure why YOU would tell me this.. what am I suppose to do with the Empty Vase.. I don't have any flowers.. and all it tells me to take good care of the Empty Vase.. and Now.. YOU are letting me to keep it.. so I am standing in this room wondering.. YOU are giving me this Empty Vase.. but I have no flowers to put in it.. so what am I suppose to do with this.. SO I would turn around walking out of this room.. the Other room is next on the right.. as I enter the second room.. There is another Desk.. and ON top of the Desk is the Vase.. an empty Vase sitting on the top of the Desk.. am I suppose to tell you something about this vase.. am I suppose to share with YOU what I want to do because it is Not making any sense with me a this Point.. I feel like I am Not the Owner of this House anymore.. since YOU are leaving things behind for me to take care of It.. I am not a male servant.. and NO.. I am not here to clean this House either.. I just purchased this House from YOU.. but WHY do I feel like there is a person who Owns it and maybe I am just renting this Place.. that is how I am feeling because.. I have to watch over things that does Not belongs to me.. I have brought my own bags and luggage so that NOW I can live in this house.. and I stand on the second room.. Looking at the Vase.. has water inside this Vase so it is Not completely empty.. but still looks empty to Me.. so I walk over to the second Desk.. I see a Picture with the Face Down.. so is it a Prank.. is this a joke because I am not feeling it at this Point.. my hand grabs and I turn to look at the front.. I see a Picture of a Heart.. as I am looking at the picture closer.. YOU have taken a picture of a Heart shape.. it is a Pillow I can see.. but why are you showing me this Picture.. I know that I love Heart.. but what does it means.. why are you doing this to Me.. are you playing games with me.. saying there is a Picture in the second room.. maybe YOU love pillows with Heart shape.. are you trying to tell me something through the two pictures YOU have put face down.. and there is a Number written on the corner of this Picture.. and I know that It is Your Number.. Looking at my phone.. I would check if this NUMBER is the same Number you called me on the phone.. and It matches correctly.. I am very confused.. I am so Confused because why would you show me these things if YOU don't know me.. and there is a Note also.. it was next to the Picture.. My hand goes over to grab the Note and I turn it over to take a LOOK.. and I would read it.. it says.. Do you remember Me.. when we were YOUNG.. because NOW I remember YOU is what the Note been written ON.. and I am thinking.. Have we ever met before.. DID I see you when we were YOUNG.. I don't really remember meeting any one when we were Young.. but it seems like YOU know me.. why would you tell me this.. Maybe YOU are writing to another person.. but then knowing that it is I who just purchased this House.. It has to be for Me.. who else lives in this House.. I am the only one who bought this House from YOU.. so I know that we met before.. and telling me when were young.. HOW long was this.. How old was I when I met YOU.. Please tell me.. and I am thinking about calling YOU on the Phone.. But.. I am Not just going to call YOU and say I don't remember YOU.. so How am I suppose to answer this question because I don't remember.. I am trying to go back.. way way way back to see if I do remember you.. I am closing both eyes.. Both.. Nothing I can see back then.. why.. when did we ever meet before.. I am looking at Your Picture.. the Picture of YOU holding.. arms around the Empty Vase.. and I would look at the Picture.. WHEN was it that we meet.. I have No clue
Oink Oink.. I am sitting by the desk.. Looking at the Book.. I opened the Book.. trying to focus to read this Page.. for some reason.. YOU keep on showing UP in my Mind.. I can feel My Heart Beating faster when I think of YOU.. trying to tell My Heart to stop beating so Fast.. I needs to erase YOU off my Mind.. I have your Picture laying on the TOP of this desk.. I know that I should put it away.. because I know that when I turn my Head and I look towards your Picture.. I know that I would think of YOU first.. but I have this ONE BOOK.. and I went to the Library to borrow it.. I am still stuck with the first Page.. the first chapter and whenever My eyes tries to read the first line sentence of this first page.. I would turn my Head towards your Picture and I get stuck right there looking at YOU.. I can feel my Heart beating fast from the Inside.. and My hand.. into the fist wants to Beat down on the chest.. so that I can stop hearing.. or feeling the Beating so Fast of this Heart.. I would turn to look at your Picture and tries to put the face Down.. turning the Picture over so that I don't look at your Beautiful face of this Picture.. my hand just can't.. I am shivering and shaking.. my hand whenever I touch the picture.. My Heart wants to cry every time I turn the Picture over so that I don't look at YOU.. why am I so addicted to YOU.. it is like a Cup of Coffee.. I just can't stop.. I tell myself I needs to stop because but I just don't.. Please tell me How to stop.. because My Heart keeps on beating so Fast.. when My Head turns to look at YOUR picture.. my eyes looks at YOU.. I can feel my Heart.. the beating grows faster and Louder I hear My Heart keep on crying and calling Out Your Name.. I am spinning around and around because It feels so crazy all of the sudden Attack that has been happening to me recently.. but I have borrowed this One Book.. and I do remember YOU are telling me that YOU loved this Book.. and Have read many times.. and the Next time we meet at the Library.. YOU are asking me if I can share and tell you the story about what I felt about this Book that came from YOU.. so I am trying Hard at this Point.. to get it right.. to go on this Pace.. I saw YOU smiling and YOU asked me.. can we be Library Partners.. and I am thinking what is that.. I do remember asking YOU.. what is the meaning of being the Library Partners.. YOU smile so Big and told me that we can share the Books we read together.. I can share my Heart and my thoughts to YOU about the BOOK and that YOU also able to give your Point of view.. I remember our hands touched and we shake our hands being the Library Friends.. of course that is How I left the Library.. but for some reason.. I asked you another before I left the Library.. I asked.. can I have your Picture.. and I am speaking to my own Head.. why would I ask you this if we are Just Friends.. YOU SMILED and gladly given me a Picture of YOU.. I was shocked that YOU did because I wanted to see if YOU would really give me Your Picture.. of course at the Library.. YOU were holding a Book and told me.. YOU have just finished reading this One BOOK that was in your hands.. and it can be a start and gave me the Book.. of course I would look at the title and I would look at the Cover of this Book.. it seems so Boring.. it is a History BOOK.. I did so horrible when I have taken the History class because It was so Boring and it felt Like I was going back to school.. I guess.. of course YOU are so Beautiful.. I did not decline it because I wanted to show YOU that I can be Your Library Partner.. my Heart came alive after we shaken our hands.. it was my first day going to the Library and Never expected to Meet YOU.. SO Beautiful.. I felt something in my Heart.. I do not know what it was but I felt My Heart.. it Bumped into something.. LIKE the Beating was very fast I felt.. I am trying to read this History Book.. about someone's Life.. I do not like the Cover of this Book.. it seems so Boring to Me but I know that I Must.. I would read the Back.. it seems interesting but.. at the same time It seems like a BORING story to Me.. I am trying to read the first line of the sentence.. I am yawning Out loud.. My Head turns too keep on looking at your picture.. YOUR Picture is more exciting to Me.. because I just can't pass the first Line of the sentence of this BOOK.. What have YOU done to Me.. I am also asking myself a question.. am I making the right decision.. Usually when I make a decision.. I try to keep it all the way.. but this.. It be hard.. I am flipping through the pages.. and It also got pictures.. black and white pictures of the Old Times.. and I know.. it is Not going to be easy for me to finish this Book.. but.. I have made a promise to YOU.. that we are going to be meeting next week.. the same Hour at the Same Library and I needs to be ready to share what I think about this Book.. to continue this Partnership.. I must be ready to share it to YOU.. I am trying to drink cold glass Ice water.. my eyes are being Heavy.. I want to sleep instead.. My Head turns to LOOK at your Picture.. my hand touches the Picture.. holds the Picture and I would look at Your Closer from this Picture YOU gave me.. I would be thinking of YOU.. that I am so excited to see YOU again.. and I would turn too look at the page of this Book.. I would flip it back to the first Chapter one.. and I am asking YOU.. Looking at your Picture.. from all of the Books.. there is a lot of Books you can read in the Library.. but why this one.. and why did I say yes.. because I know that when I took the first glance.. I felt like it is Not going to be interesting at all.. that I know that I am not going to like this BOOK.. was it just because I wanted to make you feel good.. because that I know YOU are so Smart.. I know that YOU are because when I saw the cover and I saw the title of the name of this Historical figure.. I knew YOU love to Learn.. to grow but.. when I took it into my hands.. just by looking at it.. it seems so Hard to read.. large and long vocabulary.. and I would have to stop and pause trying to figure Out what this word means.. I would sit.. maybe YOU are just too smart for Me.. because it is such a Hard Long Book.. very Big and thick.. and YOU are only giving me one week to finish this more than 800 pages of Biography Book.. as I sat by the desk.. I would turn my Head.. just looking at your Picture.. wanting to show YOU that I can share and do More for YOU.. but it seems like a Pressure is On.. trying to make an Impression.. even though I have Nothing to prove myself to YOU.. but.. I do want to keep my Promise to YOU.. I have already decided to read this BOOK.. as I would sit.. LOOKING at Your Picture.. I would close the Book.. and I would think about the experience of meeting YOU.. holding Your Picture in my Hand.. I do remember I be walking into the Library.. did Not expect much to happen that day but just to borrow a Book.. as I would walk and I see YOU.. why did I stop.. there is a lot of People in the Library.. but I saw YOU walking.. with a Friend YOU were talking.. and I wanted to get Your Attention but.. HOW.. as YOU and Your Friend passes me by.. I would act like I did Not see YOU and I bumped into YOU.. as the Books You were holding in your hands falls to the Floor.. I would help you by picking UP the Books that is laying on the ground.. as YOU stood UP with your Friend.. I grabbed the last Book.. and I would rise UP and I give it into your hands.. Your Friend had many books in her hands holding the BOOKS you were carrying.. I looked at YOU.. and I said sorrow.. as I watch YOU pass me By with your Friend.. at a table YOU sat with her.. I knew this is the Only Chance.. I may Never see YOU again.. who knows when YOU will come to this Library.. and as I walked UP to the table.. of course.. I saw YOU Looking UP with your Friend.. and the two of YOU were sharing.. I asked if I can join this table.. and Just wanted to ask you One question.. How to join this Group.. and your friend looks at Me and she smiles and YOU look at me with a Big Smile.. YOU be telling me that to join this club.. a BOOK CLUB.. I needed to read the books YOU and your friend was reading and to part take.. to share.. as I pulled the chair Over and I sat across YOU.. and I would ask YOU.. share what.. and I see YOU laying the BIG BOOKS on the top of the table.. It is so much to read.. a lot of pages to read I am thinking.. and every Week.. YOU and your Friend would meet at this table and would share.. and I am thinking.. YOU are so Beautiful.. Not just beautiful but also so Smart.. if YOU are reading all of these Books.. there is so much YOU can share with Others I believe and the Friend looks at me.. and she smiles.. as I look down.. there is a Line of People.. and they are standing behind YOU.. where is all of these People coming from.. and I see YOU turn to LOOK back.. they are Your Partners.. I am thinking.. there is a lot of People who wants to be Your Friend and be Your Partner.. it is because YOU are so Smart.. Not just beautiful.. But so Smart too.. as I am thinking about the day.. I know that I wanted to see YOU.. and I want to tell YOU what My Heart feels.. I want to tell YOU what my Heart Thinks and what it feels right Now.. can I share with YOU what I think when I look at your Picture.. when I see YOU again.. can I tell YOU my story of HOW MUCH I love YOU.. I can tell YOU a lot.. share you a lot More when I look at YOU.. when I look at you in the Picture.. I want to close the BOOK.. and open my Heart to YOU.. my Heart can be a Book.. has pages of letters to tell YOU that I LOVE YOU.. will you let me share my Heart to YOU.. Please tell me that I am able to open my Heart.. that YOU will have ears to Listen so that I can tell YOU.. I love YOU.. and for the whole week.. I been missing YOU.. it drives me crazy when I miss YOU.. when I look at your Picture.. and I think of YOU.. My Heart wants to tell YOU that I love YOU
MAH MAH.. I am with the Seven Friends of Mine.. in the training Camp.. as I am looking at these New Recruits.. More young men are flocking.. filling up the training Camp.. as I watch more then One Hundred new young Men and More Men are waiting by the fences.. wanting to Join in the Military Arts.. I just can't Believe what is going On.. these are Your New men HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. these are new Recruits who wants to Fight For YOU.. and On your Behalf ready to Die for this Nation.. and They are Not afraid of the War.. I am holding the Wooden Sword Stick.. with the Seven Men behind Me.. and they are ready to Train these Young Men.. and I am looking at more than One Hundred Young Men of recruits.. and I can feel the tears in my eyes.. I remember I was One of those Men.. I am Looking over and around.. and My Hand touches the Chest.. I remember I was standing in the way Back.. I saw YOU at the training Camp.. with the Chief Generals and the Commanders.. with the Trainers of the Art of Swordsmanship.. I saw YOU sitting on the Chair.. and YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. who was looking saw me at the end.. and YOU stood UP and noticed Me.. I was way in the Back with the Number On the Back of the armor.. I just could not believe that YOU would let me come to the front.. and to see my Face.. I would walk up from being way behind.. More than One Hundred men because I was the 100th men.. the Number was written.. as I walked to the Front.. I saw YOU after a Long Time.. I wanted to say something to YOU WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. but CROWN PRINCESS.. what words would I say to YOU at that time.. I had to prove myself which I can be a Part of the Member to Fight.. as I saw YOU stand there.. YOU also holding a Wooden Sword stick.. and told me.. and I had to come before YOU.. and With the WOODEN SWORD.. YOU wanted to challenge Me.. But I just could Not fight YOU.. instead.. I let YOU Hurt Me.. I placed the WOODEN SWORD DOWN.. and Yes.. I just could Not hit.. as YOU would strike me with the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. and I fell to the ground after getting Hit several times.. I saw YOU stand there with NO WORDS.. and I saw YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. walk away.. and told.. One of the men.. the Chief General YOU knew to Challenge Me.. I would stand UP.. and YOU stood with the Other Chief Generals and the Commanders.. with the TOP GENRALS on the Side.. I held and grab the WOODEN STICK.. and the Chief General.. He grabbed and we were facing each Other.. I knew that If I could Not beat HIM.. I would Not be able to get It as the Palace Guard.. as I stood here with the Seven Men.. who is behind Me.. I am standing here in tears.. I just could Not believe that I am here today.. For your Kingdom.. and For your Nation.. and YOU gave me the Command to Teach and to train the New Young Men.. the New Recruits.. How is it that I can do this.. I just could Not.. as I watch the Faces of these New Young Men.. and they are all in the single line.. standing side to side.. and as I turn to look.. I see YOU sitting ON the Horse.. with the White Dress and the Big Crown on top of the Head.. as the Seven men with men.. we would all turn to Give YOU the attention.. and I would be on the two knees.. arm forward and head looking at the Ground.. the Seven men also gets down on two knees.. arms forward and heads looking on the ground.. and the New Recruits all turns too look.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. It is the WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and all the new Recruits all gets down on two knees.. arms out forward Heads all look on the Ground.. and I shouted to YOU.. CHOONG CHOONG CHOONG and the Voices of more than one hundred men all shouts to YOU the Crown Princess.. CHOONG CHOONG CHOONG.. as the WOODEN STICK HITS the ground.. and I would close Both eyes.. and going to the Meeting of the council.. the Meeting Board.. YOU.. the crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. sitting on the King's Chair.. on the Right Side.. from the eldest to the youngest.. Six Princes were standing.. the Prime Minister.. and the 12 council of noble Men.. from the eldest down.. and on the Left side is the Chief Commander.. to Commanders.. Chief Generals to TOP General.. 2nd General to the 3rd General.. as I am on the two Knees.. my arms out forward.. my Head looking on the Ground.. with the Seven Men who are my Friends in the same Position.. as the Messenger of the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. He is reading from the Scroll of what YOU have written.. and Now.. YOU are telling me that I am Not the palace Guard any More.. that Now.. I am a Special Guard for the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and also shared that I am now the trainer for the New Recruits with the Seven Men who are with me.. as I lifted UP my Head.. what is this MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. why are you promoting Me.. I rather be the Palace Guard but Now.. YOU are telling me that I can be the special Guard.. who is to protect YOU.. I always wanted to protect YOU but even as the palace guard I can.. YOU do not have to promote me for anything.. as Long as I can protect you with the Sword.. the Only One sword I can.. and Now.. YOU are also giving me a chance to teach.. to share.. even though I may not be that GOOD.. why are you being so good to Me.. I know I can't do much.. but also.. for this CHANCE of a Life time.. I just wanted to thank YOU from my Heart.. and I can hear.. the men behind me starts to cry.. they just could Not believe what they are hearing with me.. why is it that it be so Hard for me to accept this.. I know that I am not that GOOD at Art of Swordsmanship.. why are you giving me this chance.. and I would LOOK at the ground.. watching the tears hit the Floor.. WHAT is it that I have done.. I only wanted to let YOU know that It is my Heart.. My Heart who has been loving YOU for so Long.. I guess if YOU Love.. does Not matter what comes before your eyes.. YOU just don't get scared if YOU know How to Love.. but it is YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is YOU who has taught Me How to Love.. I just can't Love YOU unless YOU give me the Chance to Love YOU.. How is it that I can without Your Permission.. without Your consent.. I need Your approval for this can Happen. as My hand would be wiping the tears from my eyes.. why are YOU being so Nice.. so Kind to Me.. why are YOU being so gentle with me.. when I first Met YOU.. when I first saw YOU.. when YOU came across and I saw YOU.. I only felt something in my Heart.. I only wanted you to KNOW.. can I show you something that I felt in my soul.. that I felt in my Heart.. How am I suppose to show YOU something that is Unseen.. YOU can't see love.. YOU can't even know what Love is unless YOU learn.. and start learning HOW TO LOVE.. I began with the Art Sketch Paper.. I started when I saw a Boy.. He was running.. and He fell on the Floor.. and out of his hand the Art sketch paper came off and I was walking with my Father.. he was telling me He had to go to the Meeting Board.. the COUNCIL OF BOARD MEETING.. I stopped and I looked on the Ground.. an art Sketch Paper was near at my feet.. I went on the ground and I saw a Face.. it was a drawing and my two hands grabbed unto and I looked at the Picture of YOU.. Crown Princess.. and My Father who was standing next to Me saw the same Picture.. he tells me it is the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I looked at it.. How did it come to my hands.. How did this Picture.. this ART SKETCH PAPER.. the Drawing of YOU.. and I looked at it.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. and the Boy gets UP and looks at me.. telling me He drew it.. and that I can have it just like that.. ever since I saw this Picture.. my eyes were glued to this Picture.. YOU took my Breathe away what I first saw this Picture.. I just could Not breathe.. I could Not inhale or exhale.. HOW COULD I.. and Now.. I am here.. I am here looking at YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I told myself.. I am going to Meet YOU.. I am going to Fight for YOU and WILL PROTECT YOU.. and I will be by your side and Just wanted to say that I love YOU.. as I am looking at YOU who is sitting on the Horse.. and YOU are looking at the center of the training camp.. and I see you looking at me and the Seven Men behind Me.. and I do remember at the Meeting Board.. YOU gave the Command to make these My Soldiers.. to Make them into fighting warriors who will fight and to protect the Nation.. and gave me the COMMAND that I am also the Special GUARD for the CROWN PRINCESS.. and as I am watching the SUN SETTING.. and I see YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. turning the Horse away from the Fence.. I would Raise UP my Voice and would SHOUT.. MANSAE to the CROWN PRINCESS.. I hear the voices of all of the Men in the training Camp.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would be loud and clear.. raising UP the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. MANSAE to CROWN PRINCESS.. all of the MEN in one Voice Shouts.. MANSAE TO WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. as I am looking at the Horse walking off while YOU are sitting on the Horse.. I go back to the War.. watching YOU on the Horse.. I see you pull the Sword Out of the Sheath.. and Your Arm moves Down.. blade striking down one enemy at a Time.. the battle is so fierce.. and I see More of the enemies.. LOOKING and Pointing the Swords at YOU.. Crown Princess.. and I turn to LOOK back.. as I am swinging the Sword.. and I look at the Seven men who is with me.. telling Them.. the ENEMIES are charging.. they are going after the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGJABI MAH MAH.. GO and protect.. and I see the Seven Men.. running towards YOU on the Horse
MAH MAH.. say Thank YOU.. the DAY I first entered the Training camp.. the DAY YOU saw me in the way of the back of the Line.. I was waiting for the number and the Name to be called.. I watched for days sitting on the way Back on the Line.. I would wait.. as the detour happens.. I had to leave without my Number and my Name being called.. wondering will I even enter this Camp.. for the few days I was sitting back of the Line.. I did Not see YOU sitting with the CHIEF GENERALS and the COMMANDERS.. it was like the 5th day.. when YOU came to sit on the Chair to Judge the new Recruits.. I was just waiting.. until YOU saw me.. and YOU recognized me at the way in the Back.. It was YOU HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it was YOU who gave me this One Shot.. this One Chance.. I could of waited and just gone back HOME without ever entering.. but the day I saw YOU.. I saw Your eyes looking at ME and YOU recognized Me.. I just could Not believe that YOU would recognize me even though it has been so Long ago I met YOU.. when I was very YOUNG.. but Many years went down the Line.. and of course people changes.. But YOU recognized Me when YOU first took that glance looking at me sitting alone in the back.. but able to give me this One Shot.. I wanted to say thank YOU.. if YOU did Not recognized me.. I would of never made it to the camp.. and I would be shouting.. CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. HOORAY TO the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. and I would be crying as I am LOOKING at the MOON staring down at Me into the Night.. I am looking at the Bow.. I am pulling the strings of the Bow.. wondering if I can shoot this arrow correctly.. How can I protect YOU.. How can I defend YOU and fight the Battles.. the UP coming Battles if I cannot shoot these arrows correctly.. as I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I would put the Bow down after pulling the strings.. My hands grabs the Art sketch paper.. and I would LOOK at You.. LOOK at your Beautiful Face.. MAH MAH.. and I would Lower.. both on knees.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. and I would LOOK across.. the Board.. the Target that is ON the Middle of the Tree.. I have been trying.. trying to shoot these arrows.. I would pull on the strings of this Bow.. that is LAYING on the Ground.. I been in this forest.. inside the forest are these trees.. which I would come at Night.. and I would look at the Target.. I would pull on the strings of this One Bow.. and my Father made this Bow for Me.. He has made the arrows.. and would give it to me.. and I would grab these Arrows and walk for few Miles.. It becomes Dark when I arrive to this Forest.. Having your Picture.. the Art sketch paper with me always.. On my Side.. On my Chest.. I think of YOU.. and I would say.. One Day I will see YOU soon.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. I will see you One Day.. I will meet YOU some Day.. just wait and see.. and I would always Unfold this Art Sketch Paper.. and I would look at YOU.. the Drawing of YOU and I would say.. WHY does my Heart hurt so Bad.. is it because I am missing YOU right Now.. and I would put the arrows on the ground.. and My Father would tell me.. first I needs to warm It UP.. PULLING on the strings of this BOW.. and I would PULL the strings till my hands.. my arms would hurt.. I would keep on pulling and Pulling it many times before I would shoot the arrows.. I remember I pulled it too many times that the Bow.. the strings would break the Bow into halves.. and I would sit.. standing in silence wondering what do I do Next.. I would always think of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. I want to protect YOU.. I want to Love YOU.. to defend Your nation.. But LOOK at How small and weak I am at this Point.. I can't even shoot these arrows right and say to YOU.. I want to Love YOU.. I want to protect YOU.. the Horses are going to look at me and laugh at me for saying this to YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. DO you not know how much My Heart be hurting because I can't do anything right.. so Only thing I know that I must do is shoot these arrows.. as far and right into the Middle of the Target.. after I would pull.. my Father would walk by.. watching me cry as I am looking at the Broken Bow laying on the ground.. He shows me there is Another One.. smiles and looks at me and hands me another New Bow.. I would look at the new Bow.. Pulling on the strings.. as I would think of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would be thinking of YOU late into the Night.. I lift UP to see the MOON appear before my eyes.. grabbing the arrow on the ground.. I would say.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. this is for YOU.. so that when the Enemies comes at your gate and I am ready.. I will be on the front Line ready to shoot the arrows for YOU.. even though I may die in the land I love.. it is for YOU.. and I would put the end of the arrow and PULLS the strings back.. I would aim.. and my hand lets go of the strings of the Bow.. I see the Arrow flies Out and It hits.. I just can't believe It.. I would look at the arrow.. and I would cry because It hit the Middle.. it has taken me more than one hundred arrows of shooting.. many flies to the left or to the right.. some would not even shoot so far.. I would be yelling and screaming because I can't shoot right.. and I would fall on the ground of many hours I would put into trying shooting the arrows.. but this One Night.. even though I would say.. it is going to go to the Left.. or to the right.. But before I picked UP the Bow of strings and the arrow.. I do remember I would unfold the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU and I would look at YOU.. I would say to the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing of You.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. DO you know that I am doing this for YOU.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. It is only for YOU.. I have truly Nothing to Lose.. but just my Life if living means that it has any worth.. But YOU know that as Long as I have life to Live.. I want to fight and to protect YOU.. I want to Love YOU.. by protecting and defending the Nation you are ready to Build.. and I would look at the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. and My lips kisses the paper.. and I would say looking at the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I love YOU.. I have been loving you since the day my eyes first saw YOU.. and still can't let YOU go because I still love YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. Please help me.. and I would put the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU and I put on the ground picking up the Bow.. and I would be pulling the strings of the Bow.. and I would look for the arrow on the ground.. grabbing the One.. I would put the end of the arrow.. and Pulls back with the strings of the Bow.. and I would be aiming the arrow.. looking at the Target.. and I would pull back harder and Let my hand go of the strings of the Bow.. watching the arrow shoot out and flies.. it hit.. finally at the Middle of the Target.. I stood there.. my hands are bleeding.. my arms are hurting.. but looking at the Arrow finally hitting right into the Middle of the target hanging on the trees.. I fell on two knees.. started to cry.. wailing louder and louder.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Only if YOU were here.. Only if YOU be able to watch what My eyes are seeing at this Point.. I think you would of at least gave me a smile.. Crown Princess.. If YOU are truly on my side.. at least please give me Your Smile.. and I just can't believe what my eyes are seeing.. I would grab another arrow on the ground.. the end of the arrow.. pulling the strings of the Bow back.. aiming the arrow at the target on the middle.. PULL harder and My Hand lets go and the Arrow shoots out and flies and hits right in the middle again next to the first arrow.. I would hear a clap behind me.. and My Father was watching from the distance.. and I turn around to look at the shadows and His figure disappears into the Night.. I stood there.. and I knew that my father saw everything.. I would look at the ground.. with the seven friends Behind Me.. and Behind me is the Art Sketch Paper.. it is the drawing of YOU.. the same Art sketch Paper I had when I was at the forest.. when I was YOUNG.. when I was practicing shooting the arrows.. and I see YOU sitting on the Horse.. and I see you getting Out of the Horse.. the Servants who came with YOU.. came at your side to help YOU down.. and I would unfold the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. as YOU walk with the few servants behind YOU.. and YOU stop.. I am on two knees.. My hands unfold the Art Sketch Paper.. and I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. the drawing of YOU.. YOU stood before Me.. and my eyes are filled in tears.. without this.. I know that I could Not go on.. without this Art sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. How can I dream of anything.. YOU gave me a meaning.. a reason to dream Big.. without this Paper.. the Art sketch paper.. the Picture of YOU.. the drawing of CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. How can I come this Far.. YOU gave me a meaning a reason to live and to go On.. without this.. I would of Never though of coming to Your Presence.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I don't need this Art Sketch paper any more because Now I am beside YOU.. I am close to YOU.. I am right by your side.. what am I going to do with the paper.. when I see YOU as the Person.. as the Crown Princess for the Nation.. I don't need this and I was ready to ripe the Paper.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. the drawing of YOU.. YOU held your hand high and I stop.. and I see you wanted to take a LOOK at it.. as your hands grabs the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. YOU see the scars in my hands from the strings.. pulling the strings of the Bow.. as I show you both hands because YOU wanted to look at my hands
MAH MAH.. YOU.. I see YOU.. the WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Crown Princess.. But.. I see you held Your right Hand High.. letting me know.. THAT IS IT.. and I see you turn and walk away.. going back to the Horse.. Now.. I hear horses foot steps coming.. and I turn to LOOK the Other way.. where the ten Men are sitting on their Horses.. who was shooting their Arrows UP far.. I see Six Horses.. and I see the Six Princes and they have their Armor On too.. as I look toward the Gate.. I see the Gate being Opened.. and I knew.. It is TIME.. and I would Shout.. MANSAE TO WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and the Seven Men behind Me shouts Out Loud.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would shout LOUDER MORE.. MANSAE TO WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. and all of the Military Men shouts Out Loud.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would see you get ON your Horse and YOU raise UP your Right hand and I say NO.. CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. NO.. and the Gates would Open WIDE.. and I would get UP.. two legs.. NO CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. PLEASE.. consider.. reconsider.. I see YOU hit the Horse and it starts to take Off towards the Open Gate.. NO.. MAH MAH.. NO.. MAH MAH.. and I pull out the sword.. and I would look at the Open gates and I would run after YOU..CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Please consider.. I am looking back.. thinking about the Time.. both eyes would close.. I am standing by the Horse.. and in my both hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I just wants to be with YOU.. Missing YOU.. I just wants to go back.. looking at the Picture of YOU.. the art sketch paper.. and my Father walks and stops next to me.. and He has the Bow in his hand.. and Pulling the strings of the Bow back.. my father looks at me.. and I turn to LOOK up at him.. what if I never see YOU again.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am so Little.. I am so weak right Now.. there is Nothing that I can give YOU.. what am I suppose to do because I know that I am powerless and useless right Now.. all I can do is just pull out this Art Sketch Paper.. my eyes would look at this Picture of YOU.. but there is NOTHING THAT I can do.. that is Hurts my Heart so bad.. but Just loving YOU.. can it really work.. can anything truly work Out like this.. Look at me.. I am so Poor.. I am uneducated.. I am so weak and so Little.. have NO power or NO strength.. what can I do.. and I be looking.. tears would fill my eyes and it starts to roll down my two cheeks.. what do I do.. I just can't give UP right Now.. do I suppose to give UP now.. and my Father looks at Me.. He grabs an Arrow.. put the end of the Arrow.. pulling the back of the string of the Bow.. and He aims.. the target in center of the Tree.. and He lets go of the string and the Arrow Flies and It hits the Middle.. BULLS eye of the target.. I am wondering.. what do I do Now.. I can't think of anything else.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH has become so Big.. become so Great.. My Father.. which he takes out another arrow and Put the end of the arrow of the Strings of the Bow.. and He pulls back and aims.. and I lift UP to look.. He releases and the Arrow flies and Hits the Middle of the Target again.. I am looking UP at my Father.. He smiles.. and I am wondering.. when can I ever be good like my Father.. I want to learn to shoot the arrow Like this.. I see my Father turns away and He walks Off.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I know that my Father wants to show me and teach me something.. and I look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU again.. I really want to protect YOU.. I really want to be there for YOU.. I wish that It is ME who can truly Love YOU and that YOUR HEART can open UP to accept.. but I know that even though I want to give YOU all my Heart.. all my Love to YOU.. I look at myself.. I am a Low Born.. I know that I can't afford to be with YOU.. WHO am I to Love YOU.. I have Nothing.. what can I give or bring which YOU have already just too Much and plentiful.. My Father stands behind.. and I would turn to LOOK back.. I see his Figure but could Not see HIM.. but I hear his voice.. telling me.. If I love YOU.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I am not afraid to Die for Love.. It should NOT matter at ALL because Love comes from the Heart.. if I truly Love YOU.. I will do anything to be close to YOU.. if I truly choose Love and Death.. and if it does not scare me.. I can just truly Love YOU forever.. does Not matter about what will happen to me.. if I can only Protect YOU.. and that is the Mighty Weapon I carry just to be with YOU.. Just to be close with YOU.. Just to get to know YOU little.. that is all it matters.. because Love is the greatest gift that A HEART can give to a person you truly Love.. and I hear my Father.. telling me that the secret Weapon is the Bow and the Arrow.. and to DIE for YOU means to protect not just YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. but also Your Nation.. I would hear the Voice of my Father.. I see his figure turning the other way and I hear his foot steps walking away.. as I grab hold unto and I look at the Art Sketch Paper.. looking at the Picture of YOU.. I would say.. as long as YOU will know One day How much I love YOU.. YOU may not know it now.. because YOU just don't know.. but I believe that One day.. SOMEDAY soon you will know How much I do Love YOU.. How much I truly Love YOU.. and How much I truly missed YOU.. and it will transfer.. the Truth of my Heart and my Love will be known to YOU because I have never felt like this way before.. as long as it is Honest and sincere from my Heart to YOURS.. I just wish that YOU can know it Now.. I wish that I can show YOU.. Open your Heart.. Open your eyes and see How much I have never stopped loving YOU.. will you ever Know.. I want it to be known.. will you know It.. I would fold the Art Sketch Paper into Half and Put it on the Ground.. and I would say.. I love YOU WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. I would grab the Bow in my Hands.. if the Only thing I can do is protect.. If the Only thing I can do is Shoot these arrows off the Bow with Arrows.. if the Only thing is holding a sword and use to fight Off the Enemies which comes across the Lines.. if this is the Only Way.. the Only will I can help and to Protect YOU.. I know as long as It comes from my Heart.. maybe you will see my Heart.. My Love of being next to YOU and close to YOU.. Just be standing in a distance and to love YOU.. I will offer as it is.. my tears would fall from both eyes.. But I love YOU.. Do you not know.. can't you feel this Heart of Mine which I have never stopped Loving YOU.. as tear drops hit the ground.. I grab the Arrow.. putting the end of the Arrow of the String and pulling it back.. I wish that I can give More.. or I can do More for YOU.. but I am limited right Now.. that is why My Heart breaks so easily.. I want to give YOU so much More.. give YOU more and more of my Love.. but.. there is NOT much I can do to show YOU what I can do.. I am aiming the Arrows.. hand pulling back the String and hand lets go the string and the arrow shoots.. but it goes far off.. Missing the target.. It Breaks.. It hits and I hit my own Chest.. I missed the Target.. I can't even shoot the arrow correctly and I would stand there.. MOON comes UP into the Night.. and I am crying.. balling with tears and weeping.. I can't even shoot the arrow correctly.. and I would say.. I want to protect YOU.. I want to protect HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. my arms are so weak to pull back the strings of this Bow.. and It just can't go far.. and I would lift UP my Head.. looking UP at the MOON.. How am I suppose to protect YOU.. I want to protect to show YOU that this is all I can do because I love YOU.. but I can't even shoot and aim the arrows.. I have tried five arrows.. but ALL of them I missed.. my arms are in pain right Now.. just killing me deep within Me.. I have to get this One Right.. and I would pull out another Arrow.. now My arms.. I can feel of too much pulling far.. It aches Now.. but I have promised and Made a promised to YOU.. that right Now.. I may be very weak.. can't give YOU anything.. can't do anything right.. can't even pick UP the wooden stick.. can't even grab the arrow and shoot.. PULLING the strings of the Bow.. can't even pull far.. but I have made a Promise.. that promise is to accomplish this so that I can go to YOU and that I get to meet YOU soon.. as a Warrior.. I want to show YOU that I be Your Man.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I am always coming out to this WOOD.. full of trees.. and I would stand at the same Spot.. grabbing the Bow.. pulling the strings.. and grabbing More arrows to shoot and trying to Hit the Target.. My Father is always there.. and He sees Me as he stands Behind.. giving a space and distance watching Me.. before I would start to Use the Bow.. I would always unfold the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. the Picture of YOU.. I would stare at your Picture.. Into the Night I would LOOK at your Beautiful Face.. I would first thing about the TIME.. I would smile and say.. I want to be there soon.. I would like to join YOU soon.. I am Not sure when that TIME would be but I know that TIME will come SOON.. I wish that It can be Now.. I wish I can go to YOU NOW.. but.. I know that right NOW there is Nothing I can do.. Nothing I can give to YOU.. I feel useless and I feel so Little and so Weak.. I don't want to show UP when YOU see me at my Lowest.. but when I become a real MAN for YOU who can say.. I can Love you Now.. I can use and be helpful to YOU.. to support Your Kingdom.. your Nation and to be part of Your Team so that YOU can launch Out to go further.. I want to see YOU at the Highest Level.. at the Best stage of Your Life.. at your Strongest.. and I would look at your Picture.. the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU
MAH MAH.. side is silent.. But I want to hear YOU.. I want to see YOU.. I want to hear YOU say something back to Me.. when there are NO words of exchange or I don't hear anything.. I feel so Sad.. like YOU are ignoring me for some reason even though YOU are Not.. and I would be looking at the Picture drawing of YOU.. I would hear the foot steps and My Father stops next to Me.. He has his Bow.. and He would always stop by to show Me How to shoot.. PULLING back the strings of the Bow.. grabbing the Arrow.. the End of the arrow and PULLS back the strings of the Bow.. ARROW aims.. and HE lets go of the strings of the Bow.. I stand next to HIM.. the Arrow hits the Target and hits on the spot.. BULLS EYE and shows me the Mistakes I am making.. and I grab the Bow.. my arms are so weak.. and it is hurting because of too much pulling back of the strings of the Bow.. But I must over come and endure this suffering and this Pain.. to let my Arms be strong.. and I would be thinking of Your Picture.. I would be looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing of YOU.. the Picture of YOU.. My Heart.. I know that I must.. so that I can go to YOU.. I must win.. I must conqueror the Pain.. I must because this is WHY I am here to Love YOU over and Over again.. it is because I love YOU.. as I am Kneeling.. on two knees.. behind me are the Seven Friends and they are all on the two knees.. arms forward and head looking on the ground.. YOU are on the Horse.. and the Horse raises up two legs.. but I would say.. CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Please.. Hear my Words.. Please.. hear the Plea that is coming Out of my voice.. I just can't see YOU out on the Battlefield.. YOU know that I would rather choose to DIE if I see you Out there.. Please consider and reconsider.. I can't let YOU go out there.. I just can not see the One who I love.. going on the battle and putting death first.. I am asking YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please consider and think about the future of Your Kingdom.. I do not want any one to see YOU fighting.. I am Not going Out to that Battle if YOU go Out there.. YOU are telling me that to put a SWORD INTO MY CHEST first before I use the sword to fight against Your enemies.. who is going to let their Ruler.. their leader to go OUT when YOU have many men behind Your Back.. You have plenty of soldiers and warriors.. chief Generals and Commanders who are willing to fight ON your behalf.. WHY do you break My Heart and Our Hearts.. Please consider and reconsider.. and ALL the Voices of Men would raise and say.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Please reconsider and do Your Nation the favor.. and ALL the MEN ON two knees.. Heads looks ground.. arms forward.. Please Consider.. Please reconsider for YOUR MIGHTY MEN OF WAR..I am looking towards and I am watching the Arrows flying and many arrows flying over the Wall of the Tower.. I turn to look at the Left.. ten men sitting on their Horses.. bows in the hands.. Looking UP.. and Arrows shoot Fire and I am truly Touched.. these are the Men that belongs to YOU.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see the Chief General standing on the Tower.. and He arm raises holding the Sword UP.. and ALL the Men up on the Tower of the walls.. They are too holding the Bows.. and arrows are shooting out.. I grab the Bow.. and I turn back.. grabbing two Arrows.. I remember when YOU.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. when YOU were a girl.. I saw YOU on the Practice training ground.. I was sitting on the Horse and My Father next to Me.. I have never see a Princess.. Now a Crown Princess.. grabbing the two Arrows.. and the TOP GENERALS.. the CHIEF GENERALS who were standing behind YOU.. and they kneel.. two knees.. heads looking Down.. asking Only to shoot One Arrow.. and I would watch YOU.. the two ends of the arrows.. pulling back the strings of the Bow.. and pulling aiming and off you release.. the two arrows flies fast and Hits the Target on the red BULLS EYES.. the Chief General.. the teacher holds the flag and swings.. BULLS EYES.. and the five TOP generals.. three are Chief Generals.. they raise their heads too look.. hands would all clap.. and I would sit on the Horse.. my hands start to clap.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. MANSAE WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. my hands would clap.. as I am holding the Bow.. two arrows in my hand.. DO you know How much I love YOU.. I was touched in my Heart.. I was truly touched in my soul.. I was truly inspired when I saw what YOU did when YOU were young.. I even started to practice.. when My Father was with me.. I would ask HIM that I wanted to protect YOU.. How do I protect the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Please help me to be the Protector.. and I remember my Father looks at me.. and lowers.. Do what the Crown Princess has done.. I started to practice Shooting arrows.. as I am looking at the wall.. I look UP sitting on this Horse.. I raise up the Bow.. putting the two ends of the Arrows and I pull back the strings.. and I aim looking towards.. I release the string and the two arrows flies Off.. over the Wall and I would keep on looking back.. two arrows.. pulling back the strings and release.. the two arrows would keep on flying over the walls.. I hear the foot steps.. I hear the Horses coming.. and I see the seven friends and they all stop behind Me.. and pulling their Bows.. grabbing the arrows with me.. and aiming looking over the wall.. More arrows are shot fired out and the Eight of us kept on pulling Out the Arrows.. shooting over the wall.. and Chief General turns who is standing at the tower of the Wall and shouts.. they are retreating.. and He raises the Sword UP and Shouts in loud cry.. and I raise UP the Sword.. the Seven men behind Me.. they raise up their swords.. and the ten Men on the left side.. all shouts.. MANSAE to the Crown Princess.. MANSAE TO WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE TO CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I can feel the tears flowing down my Eyes.. CROWN PRINCESS.. the enemies are going to come back.. But right Now they have retreated.. SO we have WON this Battle.. and I turn around.. Protect the Crown Princess.. Protect HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and as I turn to look back.. I just can't believe it.. and the seven men also turns to look back with Me.. I see YOU.. Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and YOU are riding on the Horse.. even few Chief Generals and the Commanders are on the Horses and YOU are leading.. I see the Bow in your Hand and also the Sword on the Side.. and I just can't believe it.. YOU must not GO.. the Battle is going to be fierce.. we won but the More are coming this Way.. and I get Off the horse.. and I would walk fast and I kneel before YOU.. two knees.. Head looking down.. my arm up.. and I see you stop the Horse.. Now the seven friends of Mine also gets off the Horses.. and they are behind me.. kneeling.. two knees and heads looking down. arms are Up.. and I see you raise Up the Sword.. and I lift up my Head to look at YOU.. I just don't want YOU to go out there.. I have been waiting for this Battle.. for a Long time.. I been practicing for so long because I knew that one day this day was to come.. I promised YOU that I wanted to always protect YOU.. when I was young.. just before YOU came riding on the Horse.. I was sitting here.. I thought about when I was YOUNG boy.. I sat on the Horse and I saw YOU on the practice training ground.. Of course YOU did not see me.. but I came with my Father.. the Day when YOU grabbed the two Arrows.. YOU took my Breathe away Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I saw YOU.. Three Chief Generals.. and two Commanders stood behind YOU.. my Father told me the reason why took me on this day.. the Crown Princess was to pick two Arrows and going to start shooting to hit the Target Board.. I wanted me to see the Heart of the Crown Princess for the Nation.. and I remember Your Teacher.. the Chief General by the Target.. with the white Flag.. and I saw you grabbing the two Arrows.. grabbing the Bow.. and putting the two ends of the arrows on the strings of the Bow.. and aiming the arrows.. and your hand releases the string of the Bow.. the two arrows goes straight and Hit the Red Dot.. the flag was raised UP and the Chief General swings the Flag.. I was sitting on the Horse.. my hands would clap with the Chief generals and the commanders.. and they would shout.. MANSAE to Crown Princess.. MANSAE.. HOORAY and I was truly touched.. I asked my Father that very Night.. when I was at Home.. I wanted to Protect the Crown Princess.. How can I protect the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please Father tell me.. Please.. and He tells me.. DO what the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH has did and what I saw that morning.. every Night.. I looked at the Target that my Father made.. with the RED DOT Circle around it.. I started with One Arrow.. my hands would hurt.. my arms would ache.. and I knew YOU were so strong.. because pulling the strings of the arrow.. my Father would tell me to keep on pulling it over and over.. for months I had to do the basic training.. just to pull.. then He gave me the arrow to shoot.. It would not shoot at all.. as Months.. more months went by.. I started to shoot the arrows.. hitting on left far to the right far.. But I was thinking about YOU.. I was thinking about that if I don't this.. I can't protect the Crown Princess.. but I have made UP my Mind and made a Promise that I will protect YOU and always will love YOU.. from Months goes to years as I would start picking UP two Arrows.. starting to shoot over and over until It would Hit the Red circle big Dot.. every Night.. I would look UP to see the Moon.. into the woods.. and the Target stuck on a tree.. I would aim.. two arrows I would shoot from the distance
MAH MAH.. One to die for YOU.. at least I can say I have tried Hard.. and I did it for YOU.. just to protect YOU and coming this far to SHOW YOU that I can and that I love YOU.. Please don't refuse my request.. Please think about it before.. because I can't see YOU out there.. my Heart would not let me.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please consider this request.. and I hear the seven friends.. Please reconsider the Request.. and I see you looking down sitting on the Horse.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. there are plenty of Men here who are ready to go and fight for YOU and for this Nation.. I want YOU to be kept safe.. and I see you looking at me.. and I see you putting down the sword.. the Men raises up the Voice.. MANSAE to Crown Princess.. MANSAE to WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE TO Crown Princess.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see you giving me your Sword.. and I just can't believe it.. it is the King's Sword.. from PEH HA!.. How is it that YOU give me this Sword.. It is from the KING'S hand to YOU.. and I am looking at the Blade.. and I see the teacher.. the Chief General who is with YOU.. and he is the One to help you to get back to the Palace.. and I am so amazed.. so inspired by this Sword.. this is which the King has won many battles with.. who fought in many wars and in the battle fields.. as I keep on looking at YOU.. I can't take this Sword.. because it belongs to YOU CROWN PRINCESS.. I have a sword with me.. which My Grand father gave to my father to give it to Me.. I want you to take the Sword which belongs to Your Father the King.. Please.. and I would lay the King's sword on the Ground because I know I can't.. and my Head looks on the ground.. arm raises.. I see you walking.. and I see your hand grabs the King's sword.. are you considering to stay in the Palace.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I just can't see you on that Battle field.. Please consider.. Please be safe.. and I see YOU on the Horse and YOU hit the Horse on the side and It goes Off.. I just can't believe it.. WHY.. Crown Princess.. WHY are you breaking my Heart.. I asked you to Please Consider and I see you raising up the King's Sword.. and the Men.. the soldiers.. Commanders and the Generals.. Chief Generals.. they are all preparing to go Out to the field.. ready to fight Out.. as I turn to LOOK at YOU.. I hear other voices.. Please Consider.. Please stay in the palace.. Crown Princess.. I Look up at the sky.. Please help me Father.. help me because the Crown Princess does not hear my Voice.. the Battle is going to get fierce.. my eyes can't see the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH out fighting.. Do you want to see a bloody Heart.. How about a bloody Tears.. YOU are suppose to be the One to rule Next.. and I would stand UP.. Crown Princess.. Please Consider.. Please hear my words.. Hear my Heart.. Please reconsider my request.. and I hear the seven friends also asking the Crown Princess.. Not to go.. Not to go Out to fight.. we have plenty of men who will fight for YOU and will die for this Nation.. I came here so that I can Protect YOU.. I came and became the Swordsmanship for YOU.. so that I can protect YOU.. because when YOU love.. YOU just don't want to see hurt and I would start to show you my tears.. Crown Princess.. Please Consider.. Please reconsider my request.. the Chief General UP on the Tower.. he raises the Sword and the Horn Blows.. saying the Enemies are coming again.. the Horn Blows.. Get ready for Battle.. I am standing Out of the Gates of the Fortress.. the Seven Men.. the Friends are all behind Me.. and I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. sitting On the Horse.. All the Chief Generals and the Commanders.. More Foot soldiers are walking Out of the Fortress gates.. the Six Princes are inside.. Soldiers pushing the Big Canons.. and Men sitting on the Horses.. with Bows and Arrows.. I turn to Look at YOU.. and I am on the foot.. I see YOU raise UP the Bow.. and Other side are the Enemies lined UP.. generals On the Horses.. I see YOU grabbing the Two Arrows.. Putting on the End of the strings of the BOW And pulling it back.. I turn.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please wait.. Please CONSIDER.. and I see you turn YOUR head and looks at me.. and YOU look forward.. and the aiming the Arrows and hand let goes and It shoots Out and fires.. I can't believe it.. I just can't and I see the two Arrows and It hits two enemy soldiers and they both Die.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. the Chief general ON top of the tower raises UP his Right hand with the Sword and Blows the Horn.. Arrows shoots fires and I can see it UP in the air.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please.. consider.. and I pull out the Sword.. looking at the Blade.. and the Seven Men behind Me all pulls Out their swords.. For HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Let us Fight and Protect.. and I see the enemies soldiers running.. and I would start to run with the Seven Men.. and the Two sides clashes.. I am swinging the Sword.. just thinking about YOU.. I can't let YOU down.. Let us fight and Protect the CROWN PRINCESS.. it is for YOU.. and I am swinging the sword.. the blades hits each Other.. and I see one enemy soldier.. He looks at me.. and I jump UP and swing the Sword and goes across his Neck.. My seven Friends are surrounding and they are all close to Me.. as I hear them shout OUT.. and I turn to look back.. I see Arrows flying Out.. More arrows flying across.. I see two Large Canon Balls with Fire falling from the Sky.. killing Many Enemies who are running across.. I see YOU on the Horse.. MAH MAH.. It is HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I look at three of the closest friends.. My sword points Back.. Protect the Crown Princess.. Please go and be close to you.. and the three friends looks at me.. and they turn to go back to YOU.. and I just can't.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I can't focus when YOU are Out here.. I can't even fight right.. I asked YOU to consider.. It is so dangerous OUT here.. LOOK at this raging war.. and I turn to LOOK back.. I see One enemy running at me.. with the Sword I would jump and move back.. I swing the Sword and it hits the blades.. and I move forward and Bash into him.. and I jump swing the Sword and it strikes him down.. I turn to the Left.. to the right.. so many Men fighting.. I see many enemies are falling by the sword.. I just can't go ahead.. I turn to look back.. I see YOU still on the Horse.. with the Armor and Sword.. and YOU are swinging as riding on the Horse.. I see More men running towards you.. I grab the Sword and I run after.. I can't let Them go attack.. I need YOU to RULE.. I need YOU to be the Next On the Line.. I would RUN and RUN.. I can see the backs.. I would start to swing the sword.. and Hitting One Back to the Next.. to the three and four Men falls by the Sword.. and I would say.. Protect the Crown Princess.. I am yelling Out Loud.. and Screaming Out Loud.. Protect the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and More of the Men turns.. and LOOKS at YOU on the Horse.. as YOU are swinging your sword looking down.. as all of the Seven of my friends.. and I would surround making a circle.. as One Enemy approaches I would jump forward and swing the sword and He swings back.. blades hitting each Other.. the Chief Generals are raising the swords.. telling the Men to Protect YOU.. More men would surround YOU.. as we would push back.. and I am on the front Line.. swords hit and blades making sound.. and I would say.. Protect the Crown Princess.. Protect.. and as more Men comes.. they are able to lead YOU back into the Gates.. inside the Fortress.. and I turn to LOOK back.. and Men starts to run Out.. I can't see YOU out here.. I just can't breathe the same air when we are at War.. How can I fight with this Sword if YOU are fighting this Battle.. if I love YOU.. I can't see YOU hurt.. I can't see YOU wounded.. and the seven Men runs Out.. with the Swords and together.. we would run out on the Front Line.. Swords are hitting.. I see More enemies running towards.. the Arrows are flying High and Canon balls flying.. the More Canon balls flying and falling from the sky.. I see more enemies men falling and dying on the Field.. as I would look.. they start to look and start to run Off.. I hear the Horn Blowing.. I just can't believe me eyes.. is this real.. and I raise UP my Right hand.. with the Sword in my Hand.. and we have WON the battle Again.. and I can feel the tears.. I am in so much joy.. the soldiers.. we have WON.. and I raise UP the Sword.. MAN SAE to Crown Princess.. the Seven Men behind Me.. wiping the tears with me.. they raise the swords with right HANDS.. MANSAE to Crown Princess.. and I raise it up the sword and SHOUT.. MANSAE to HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and the Seven MEN raises the sword with right Hands.. MANSAE to WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MAH MAH.. we have WON.. and I turn around.. and the seven Men turns to look at the Gates of the Fortress.. I see YOU coming out of the Gates.. Your RIGHT HAND.. holding the Sword.. and I just can't believe my eyes.. as YOU are on the Horse.. I see More Horses.. the six Princes has joined the Battle to help YOU to WIN this War.. the Chief generals and Commanders.. they all line UP.. as YOU raise UP the Sword.. the MEN all shout.. MANSAE to CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE TO CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE TO WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would run UP.. and two Knee on the ground.. with the arm up and Head looking down.. the Seven men runs UP.. two knees down.. heads looking on the ground.. arms UP and all of the MEN.. COMMANDERS.. CHIEF GENERALS.. GENERALS.. Soldiers.. all fall on two Knees.. Heads all looking down and arms UP.. saluting the Crown Princess.. and I just can't believe.. we have won this Battle.. but we have WON for the Crown Princess
Oink Oink.. I am in the Room.. Looking out the window.. I see the rain showering down.. I would like to walk in the rain.. but it be nice If I take this Piano with Me.. I have written YOU another Letter.. I wonder if YOU can Hear Me Now.. I know that just standing Out alone.. and Turning to LOOK up.. LOOKING at the Moon and just speaking to the MOON.. that Moon does Not Hear Me.. so I am trying something New.. something different so that Maybe the MOON can catch the glimpse of Me.. and Can turn to LOOK at Me.. and Hear me.. I am trying to grab and get the attention of that MOON.. so maybe I can bring Out this Little Piano that I bought.. and PUT it outside.. and I can Hit the Keys.. making the Sounds.. and with the Recorder in my hand.. and Push the Recording Button as I can open this Letter.. which I have written just for YOU and share it.. If YOU can Hear Me.. Can the Moon hear me Now.. if I can get the MOON to get closer to Me.. I can ask the MOON.. and show the MOON the Picture of YOU.. and ask the MOON.. if YOU see this Person.. in the Picture.. can YOU do something for Me.. will you send me an Angel.. call an Angel for Me.. and I will show the Angel the Picture of YOU.. and I would open the Recorder.. and give the Angel the Tape I have recorded and If the Angel can do me a favor.. that I have One Wish.. to give this Tape to YOU.. and YOU can hear my Voice.. YOU can hear me say and tell YOU what is deep in my Heart.. as I would speak to the recorder to tell YOU.. HOW much I miss YOU.. How Much I want to be close to YOU.. I know that if I just appear out of the Blue.. I don't want to scare YOU.. I don't want YOU to think that I am stalking YOU because I am Not.. so Maybe the MOON.. which hears me Press the Key notes and making the Sounds of pressing the Key bars can turn to Hear and Notice me that I am here down Below.. and If the MOON comes closer.. I will ask.. DO you know any angels who can do me favor.. because I have One wish.. Not asking Much but just for ONE wish.. so I will tell the MOON.. Please get me an Angel to come at my aid.. and If I see the Angel.. I will give HIM the picture of YOU and the tape which I have recorded over and also if YOU need the Letter.. I will give this Angel the Letter too.. just in case YOU want to read this Letter of Mine.. as I am looking out the window.. looking at the rain pouring down.. I have the Piano.. the Little Piano with Me.. I want to take it Out.. I want to go out side and play the Piano.. of course I don't know how to Play.. so If you hear the back ground and It does Not sound right.. YOU know that it is Me.. it is Me who is pressing the Key bars.. just pressing because I want YOU to hear me.. Please hear Me.. Please hear me what I needs to say and to tell YOU.. that I love YOU.. why do I love you this way.. I love you in a way YOU can say.. I am creative with what I do.. I am looking at the Little Piano.. Looking at Your Picture.. and I would say to my self.. I miss YOU.. I really really Miss YOU.. just watching the rain fall and the shower of the rain coming down from the sky.. It makes me more miss YOU.. I wish that I did not have to Miss YOU.. but for some reason.. this very Night I really miss YOU.. the way my Heart truly feels is this.. grabbing an Empty Glass Jar.. I want to pull out My Heart from my chest.. grab a Knife and stab my Heart right in the Middle and put the wounded Heart.. the One with the scars.. Put it inside the Glass jar.. watching my Heart be bleeding.. I feel like I am slowly dying instead.. as I look at the Blood gushing Out of my Heart and I see my own blood filling UP the Glass Jar with my Heart still inside it.. I be looking at it.. and I would take the Little Piano Out side.. does Not matter How wet I get.. But I feel like I am dying inside for YOU.. because I miss YOU.. as I am out side.. standing in the rain.. getting wet by the Rain.. I would also bring the Glass Jar.. with My Heart and the Blood filled.. and let YOU see It.. I would ask the Moon.. do YOU not feel sorry for Me.. Do you not see How much I am in pain and that I am suffering so much right Now.. and I would push the recording Button of the recorder.. pressing with my fingers of the key Bars.. telling YOU what I wrote.. I would memorize the Letter I wrote to YOU.. in the Rain.. I am calling Out for YOU.. crying Out for YOU.. can YOU see my Heart.. DO you want to see My Heart.. if YOU can't see it.. I have brought the Glass Jar.. with my Heart inside.. I am missing YOU so much right Now.. I just don't know what to do.. what am I suppose to do when I miss You like this.. Please tell Me.. I have the tape with me.. with My Voice and words speaking into the recorder.. I am reading the Letter which I wrote.. I am reading as I am looking at the Heart.. LOOKING at my Heart inside the Glass Jar covered in Blood.. Please Help me to recover from this Wound and from the scars I feel in my Heart when I be missing YOU.. I just can't take this pain any more.. Please help me to Love again.. If I don't see YOU.. this is how My Heart feels right Now.. as I would look UP.. looking at the MOON.. I be pressing the key Bars of the Little Piano.. and I am crying.. crying because I want More than just this.. I want More of YOU.. I want to say it to your ears.. and tell YOU as I hold you near.. hold you near in my arms.. telling YOU.. why can't I tell YOU.. why can't I say it to YOU in person.. give me the chance to speak to YOU so that YOU can hear me clearly what is IN my Heart.. help me to love YOU more.. only way to can help me.. only way I can get to YOU.. Please Open Your Heart to me.. show me that YOU care.. show me that YOU are truly listening.. because many nights I am Not sure if YOU are or Not.. as My fingers are hitting.. banging on the Key Bars making sounds on this Little Piano.. I want to hear from YOU.. I needs to hear from YOU.. that YOU are listening on the Other side.. I only see the MOON.. but I can't see YOU.. I want to see YOU.. I want to see YOU near.. and as I would press the stop button of the tape recorder.. I stand still.. getting more wet by the rain.. showers of water of rain on me.. My arm stretches Out.. my hand opens out.. towards the MOON.. How can I get to YOU.. How can I get Your attention.. How do I get YOU to notice Me.. I know that I am very small as a person.. but the way I love YOU.. the size of How much I love YOU.. If YOU can come Outside at Night.. My Heart of loving YOU can be as big as the MOON I am looking at.. if YOU look at the MOON.. the same Moon I am looking at.. that is HOW MUCH I love YOU.. that is How much I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. even though my Heart breaks.. I can feel my Heart be breaking on the Night like this because I love YOU.. and because I miss YOU.. why don't you ever see Me.. why don't you ever notice Me.. YOU know that I been hear all this Long.. I been here all this Time telling YOU that it is real.. it is true that I be loving YOU.. YOU needs to see that and believe it too. Please give me a chance to Love YOU.. Please give me One Chance.. One shot is all I am asking for.. Not even a day but even few minutes of the time is all I am asking for.. But I am asking YOU.. that Only YOU can make me smile.. as I see the Rain stopped.. and I am standing alone out side.. I am soaked wet because of the shower of rains would pour down on me.. I would pull out the Letter.. of course the Letter is soaked wet too.. but I can still see the writings.. and I would look at the wet recorder and press the Button of the recording.. and the little Piano has a stand.. so I would place the Glass jar on top of the Little Piano.. and after Opening the Letter.. I would lift UP my head towards and I would look at the MOON.. DO you hear Me.. can YOU Please hear me.. ON this very Night.. I am want to speak to YOU.. would you let me speak because this is the Only thing I can do for right Now.. I want to show YOU this Glass Jar.. I want to take this Glass jar and give it to YOU.. and if you can listen.. I want to tell YOU that I been loving YOU for so Long.. I been loving YOU that I have lost the count.. I started to count in the beginning but I guess I just had to stop.. because the More I love YOU.. the less I counted.. as I am looking at this Glass Jar.. I have stabbed my Heart with the Knife.. it Hurts when the Blade plunged into the center of the Heart.. I felt the Pain.. and started to suffer because of If.. as I watch my Heart struggle for air.. I saw the Blood pouring Out.. and I would say.. It must be Love because I miss YOU.. I started to miss YOU over and over.. that I felt the tears just running down my two eyes.. I can't take it any more because I love YOU.. I can't take this Pain because I be missing YOU like crazy.. when can I see YOU.. is it going to be soon.. Please tell me when can I see YOU.. will you let me see YOU.. or is it going to be never on your end.. I been waiting for YOU.. for a long time I been waiting and just kept on missing YOU.. every time I write YOU a Letter.. and I think of YOU and every time I take a Look at your Picture.. I can feel something inside of me wants to cry.. I want to cry More as I keep on missing YOU.. holding YOU in my arms is my first Wish.. and the second is to tell YOU how much I love YOU and how much I missed you.. that I know one day it needs to stop.. that I do not have to miss YOU any more.. I am standing Out here.. LOOKING UP at the MOON.. when would that TIME BE.. when I can stop be missing YOU.. I would be wiping these tears.. most of the nights are very harsh for Me.. because my arms.. my arms wants to hold YOU.. hold you close and hold you still.. just to feel you close and that I get to call YOU mine forever.. will you Let that Happen to me.. Please tell me that I do have a hope still.. that I still have a chance.. a hope to tell you that I need YOU.. I miss YOU and that I love YOU.. Please give me the hope so that I can dream being US together for ever
I knew that I had to do something.. that One day YOU will know that I love YOU.. maybe not at the Point but some day YOU will know how much I love YOU by sharing what YOU have given Me and what you have done to Me.. as I would look.. the Work Shop.. Looking at the Paper.. the Art sketch.. the drawing of the Sun Flower.. back is the Garden.. and Now.. there are More than Thousand Sun Flowers in the Back.. in the Garden.. ready to be given and ready to be sold.. when YOU came into the Work Shop.. I was blown into pieces because YOU looked a lot like someone who I loved.. but did NOT wanted to ask you if YOU were.. because YOU could of been someone else but NOT YOU.. when YOU shared the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing of the Sun Flower and I turn to face the Wall.. the same drawing YOU given me when I was a young Boy.. who was hurting.. who just read a Letter of the Lost and dead family.. YOU were like an Angel who gave me Life to live again.. I do remember when YOU asked me if YOU could work here.. I told YOU NO at first.. I did Not want you to come close because I know that something could happen.. I wanted you close deep in my Heart.. but.. I did not want you too close.. I am already Hurt.. I do not want to be hurt again but I did miss YOU so much that My Heart was crying inside.. I did Not want to tell YOU this at all.. because I did Not want to see you go.. I remember YOU told me that YOU will be back.. and I had to let YOU go that day you came.. YOU just do not know how heavy I felt inside.. It broke me down into tears again.. asking myself.. why did I let YOU go like this.. what if YOU will never show UP.. what if I will not see YOU again.. what if I end up dying like this instead.. and I just could not help myself and blamed myself for letting you walk away like this.. what if YOU never come back to me.. and I be dumb like this of letting YOU go when I know deep inside I love YOU.. I was just too afraid to let YOU IN because I loved YOU just too much.. I am looking through the Window.. In the Work Shop.. I see YOU.. I remember I grabbed your wrist.. and I told YOU.. I love YOU.. for a Long time.. I just could Not take my Mind Off of YOU.. asking YOU.. can I be the One who can Love you for the rest of My Life.. will you let me.. I know that I made the situation worst when I grabbed your wrist.. I just wanted to express my Heart but did not mean to come out that strong to You.. I saw you turning your Head away from Me.. and Looking towards another direction.. I knew that I had to let Go.. YOU told me that YOU did not want to work here any more.. of course I knew the answer clearly.. as I open my hand and let go of your wrist.. you wanted to tell me something.. and told me that YOU were seeing someone else.. but I knew that person well.. and my Heart.. I just knew that My confession of telling you came too late.. But I was holding in for so long.. why did YOU not wait.. why did you tell me that YOU wanted to be loved by someone else.. But.. I know that I bee here all along.. YOU knew that I felt something towards YOU.. even though I did Not have to say the words.. by the smile and my actions should of told YOU already.. but Now.. is it really late for me to tell YOU that I love YOU.. can you please receive My Love.. can you please open your heart just a little for Me.. I need to know.. I need a chance you know.. if I am the One for YOU.. did YOU not ever think about that.. I can really be the One who can love you for so long.. but if you do not give me that Chance.. you will never know How far I can truly love YOU and tell YOU how much I love YOU.. are you really going to let this Chance go.. and I would turn.. trying to look at YOU.. but.. I see that YOU are moving and pushing me away.. but.. I know I can too love YOU.. WHY can't you just reconsider.. and please give a time for yourself.. Let me know that I can too love YOU.. is it that Hard for you to know.. I know that I can Love YOU too.. maybe I can be a Better Lover.. I can love you more because YOU brought this Inspiring of Love to Me.. will you please consider and think about what I have said to YOU.. I see you turning away and telling me you have already made it known and made it clear to me that YOU love another man.. and I would watch you walking away.. and I would turn away toward your Direction.. wait.. do you have to end it like this.. can you not give me a Chance too.. if you do not open your heart.. if you keep it close.. you will know that I have loved you More.. so Please.. open your heart.. I know I can Love you better.. I can Love you More.. only please.. stop and wait.. I watch the Door open.. and I see you walk out the Door and the door closes.. I am thinking about the day you left me.. I was building this work Shop just for YOU.. YOU told me that YOU loved Flowers.. I asked you what is your Interest.. what makes you smile.. what do you like to see.. what makes you cry.. what makes you happy and as a friend you told me many things.. I collected and gathered.. YOU told me that YOU wanted to see a lot of Flowers.. Out of the woods.. some of the trees had to be cut Down.. and the builders came and helped me to build this Work Shop out of the woods.. and I would ask what kinds of seed would bring Flowers to Life in the Garden.. and I asked few of the Plant specialists and they helped me to get these seeds and started to help me to plant.. Once these things were established I remember I asked you if you wanted to work.. and YOU told me where.. and I gave you the address.. it is a Flower Shop.. and I work there too.. and I do remember you did take the offer and started to work.. I would show you different flowers.. I would think about the flowers you loved.. when we were young.. when YOU came to the Orphan House.. I do remember you coming with your parents.. and they would always bring you Flowers.. and share to the children who had NO Parents.. I member I would see the kinds of flowers in your Hands.. each time you would bring a New Flower in your hand.. I would look at the flower.. going into my room.. I have me a Note Book.. and start to write down flowers you would bring.. it be so different.. and I have kept the Note Book for a Long time.. from Page to page.. I would smile.. as I would feel my tears roll down.. my hand touch the words of the Names of each Flower.. and I would ask the Specialist can any of these Flowers.. do you have the seeds of these flowers so that I can plant in the garden too.. I do remember some of the farmers who lived around the Area comes to help.. I would be asking if they can help me to Plant these seeds and help me to grow.. and the older People started to help as I would watch the Plants.. I saw Flowers blossom time after time.. and when the Flowers would grow.. I would think of YOU.. each has a special place in my Heart.. I would touch my Chest looking at each Unique Flowers and I wanted to show YOU.. I wanted to tell YOU something.. But I was afraid to ever tell YOU.. Just like what has happened.. YOU told me that YOU love someone else.. YOU telling me that I am Not the One.. that I am Not allowed to Love YOU.. how can YOU tell me this when I been thinking of you all this TIME.. you brought so much tears in my eyes.. My Heart was breaking.. I could not see you from the distance.. I could not believe you would say.. and just walked away.. Now I am here.. back at the Work Shop.. I have left the work Shop because of these memories causing me to Die inside.. but.. what am I suppose to do what YOU are the Love of my Life who brings me back here.. and I would stand here.. the room is dark.. I know that It is time to start over.. I am going to build this Shop again.. this Flower shop because I know that I love YOU.. does Not matter if you ever return back to me or Not.. But.. I know that I love this Place.. why because I always loved YOU.. your scent still is here.. I can still smell your scent.. and I just wanted to hold YOU near when I smell you.. so sweet and so beautiful.. as I am looking at the Window.. and I look through.. I see the tree I was standing.. and I am not sure.. but I see someone.. I am hoping it is YOU.. I want it to be YOU.. but Not YOU who breaks my Heart.. YOU who is coming back to Me.. YOU who knows how much I love YOU.. YOU who knows that I have build this work Shop.. this Flower Shop because I was inspired by Loving YOU.. to show you how much I love YOU.. and as I am getting closer toward the window and I look through.. I see YOU.. but.. is it YOU who loves another man.. because YOU should always know that I love you first.. I watch YOU turning around and I see you looking.. I am standing by the window.. YOU are standing by the tree and My tears.. it starts to flow down.. two lines.. I know I missed YOU.. YOU know how much I miss YOU.. and YOU should now that this whole place.. It is because of YOU.. How much I love YOU.. LOOK at the flower Shop.. Look at the farmers who and helping the flowers to grow.. look at the each Flowers which has been planted.. if YOU can go back.. Do you not remember when we were young.. YOU came to a house like this.. I was at the Orphan House.. YOU came with your parents.. but you brought flowers.. different times YOU came to visit.. I would stand there.. I see you smile so Big and YOU would tell me.. too look at the Flower.. and YOU would run straight direction toward me and with a BIG SMILE.. showing me the name of the Flower.. where YOU got it.. and you be moving the Flower around.. telling me that Some day YOU are going to have your Own garden.. and In that garden grow Your flowers.. and begin to show me the different kinds of flowers you wanted to plant to grow.. of course.. I would run to the room.. and would write that on the Note Book.. and I would tell myself.. One Day I want to give you a Garden with full of flowers YOU showed me.. and give you the gift of this Garden and that is WHY I am here
Lover.. who can Love you more.. are you giving me a Chance.. and I would close my eyes.. and when I open.. I look through the window across.. I don't see you any more.. I would look one more time.. and I see that YOU are gone.. as I look at your Picture.. I would smile.. I know that YOU are happy.. of course who don't want to love YOU.. I know that you have many young men who wants to love YOU.. but.. I know that I can love YOU more.. I can love you better.. because I know my Heart.. I understand my Heart knowing what Love truly is.. and to Let YOU know how much I love YOU.. I just wanted to share and tell YOU.. I never stopped loving YOU.. Only YOU who I love.. YOU are the Only One who I think of the Most.. always on my mind.. and always loving YOU first.. I just wanted to say I love you.. and always I will love YOU.. I am waiting at the Doctor's office.. I am getting sick.. something has happened to my Heart.. I am wondering if My Heart is broken.. as I am sitting down.. waiting for the Doctor.. I am holding your Picture in my Hand.. I have been looking at this Picture for a Long time.. since I have lost you.. and it is the Picture of YOU.. you are standing by the Wall.. with a beautiful Smile.. I gave YOU a flowers and YOU are holding in your hand.. showing me in the picture of you.. I was so happy when I gave you those flowers in the work shop.. I surprised you that night.. it was before I wanted to ask YOU out.. I wanted to ask if we can be lovers.. and before the questions came about.. and I gave YOU the flowers.. I would watch you holding in your hand.. and I saw you smelling the flowers.. it touched my Heart.. Your nose so close and I saw both of your eyes closing when YOU brought the Flowers closer to your nose.. and right after.. you opened your eyes.. I be holding the camera.. zooming in to get a closer Picture.. I asked if YOU could just smile for me.. YOU are the Most Beautiful when I see you smile.. so I asked.. looking through the lens of the Camera.. I saw you holding the flowers closer and my finger presses and it clicked to take that Picture.. I would put the camera down and I came closer to YOU and I wanted to say but.. YOU told me Not to say it.. Because YOU knew what I was going to say and told me that YOU already have some one who you love.. and that I knew the person well.. I would just stand there.. No words to tell YOU because.. I have been holding this for a long time.. I wanted to tell YOU for a long time.. but I guess holding too long.. and I just could not hold it back.. I want to know.. DO you love Him.. do you think that man can love you more than Me.. if He can love you more than me.. I can back off and just pretend I never told you this.. I want to know what if I can love you More.. I know that I can love you where YOUR Heart can be truly touched.. I know that I can love you because I am already loving YOU.. but pushing me away is not going to solve anything.. but if you know that He can love you more and can make you more happier.. than I have nothing more to say.. But How about my Heart.. how about the Love I have for YOU.. will you please consider this before you can.. and it is the Picture before I wanted to ask.. but I do remember you be telling me that YOU love some one else.. I wanted to walk out of that work shop.. I wanted to leave at that moment because My Heart couldn't handle this kind of pain.. and to heal it takes a long time for me to get over it.. but.. I felt like I should stay.. that may be you would change your mind.. so I just stood and waited.. but I saw YOU looking at me.. giving me back the flowers and I saw YOU walking out of that work shop.. I heard the door behind me shutting down.. holding the flowers in my hands.. why am I holding these flowers for.. I am the one who gave you these flowers.. these are not for me and when I turned my head to look back.. I stood there.. the door was closed and YOU left.. I wanted to cry.. but I wanted to hold my own emotions in and I kept it inside for a while before I wanted to lead it out.. I stood there in the silence.. holding the flowers in my hands.. just did not know what to do any more.. as I am sitting on the chair.. just waiting for the doctor to call my name.. I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. holding the flowers and just smiling.. Now I am thinking.. and wondering.. what if I did Not say anything.. did Not mention and just stood there and smiled back.. I know that YOU would not left the work shop that night.. you could of still be there with me.. but would I ever be happy just watching you on the side line.. just loving YOU alone.. while YOU have someone who loves YOU and you be loving him back.. What am I suppose to do if I am just another shadow of passing through.. It would be breaking my heart into pieces.. I remember I open my hands and the Flowers all fell to the floor.. hitting the ground.. I dropped to my knees.. beating against my chest and started to cry loud.. wailing louder because of the pains of hitting me so Hard that night.. I did not even leave that work shop.. I would be crying for hours.. just feeling the pain deep within me.. sitting by the wall.. I would be leaning.. and I would sit until the Sun would rise Up.. I just could not work any more.. and wanted to take some time off.. but I could not get up.. sitting there.. looking at the flowers all over the floor of the ground.. I can't believe that this Hurts.. it hurts me much more.. why did I even mentioned if it going to end UP like this.. hurting me like this.. this ache.. this pain of just loving you.. why can't you love me back.. I would yell.. out loud.. why can't you love me back.. what must I do for YOU to notice HOW much I love YOU.. and I would sit still.. could not get up.. just did not want to move.. I did not want to eat anything.. even though I was hungry.. but I sat there.. leaning against the wall.. just thinking of YOU.. am I going crazy.. am I losing my mind.. what is wrong.. matter with me is what I would be thinking.. and I would suddenly lay on the floor.. maybe sleeping will help me.. get me better.. and I lay on the floor.. both eyes closes.. and it hurts so bad that I just could not sleep.. as I am still waiting for the doctor.. the door opens and I am looking at your Picture.. I hear foot steps and someone sits next to me.. and I put the picture down.. I am wondering.. who is sitting next to me and as I turn to look.. I see you next to me.. I am thinking.. all this time.. did you know that I am here so you came.. or you just came because YOU are sick too.. and I looked at YOU.. why are you here.. Why are you sitting next to me.. YOU told me that YOU have someone who loves YOU.. you told me you love him.. but why are you here.. I am here because I love you too much.. I think I can't bear this pain.. take this pain any more.. I am going to get me a New Heart.. I don't like the Heart I have with me.. this Heart is always hurting me so I want a new Heart.. a Heart who does Not know you any more.. as I looked at YOU.. are you hurt just like me.. or is it for something else.. as I raised my arm.. my hand is holding your Picture.. and I would show YOU this picture and I turned to look at YOU and I would say.. do YOU remember this time.. Do you remember the day I gave you those flowers.. I am so sorry that I told you that I loved YOU.. I did not meant to say it in a way that YOU wanted to walk off.. but Do you want to see this Picture.. I think you never got the chance to look at it because the Picture came after YOU left.. Do you know how many times I cried looking at this Picture.. I would tell myself.. I regret letting YOU know.. I would tell myself many times.. I regretted because.. If I never mentioned it to YOU.. you would of stayed with me a little longer right.. and I would look at you.. and I see you smile.. as I am waiting for the doctor.. I would look at the picture again.. looking at YOU.. when I would turn my head to look.. I don't see you any more.. I am wondering.. was this just a dream.. why did I saw you here.. maybe I do miss you just too much.. I am aching in my Heart.. I feel like I am dying inside.. the door opens.. and I see the doctor.. I hear the Doctor calling my Name.. I get UP out of the chair and I would walk into the patient room.. and I would sit on patient chair.. I would show the picture to the Doctor.. and the Doctor looks at the picture.. and I am telling the doctor.. I need a new Heart.. if you can give me a New Heart.. I think I can live again.. I am suffering just too much with the Heart who is inside of me.. if YOU can please take my Heart.. put that heart away.. and replace with a New Heart.. I think I can live again.. I just can't live with this Heart.. it is killing me and driving me insane.. Please.. can you do a surgery so that I can breathe again.. to live again.. something is wrong with the Heart I am having.. giving me just too much pain.. and my eyes gets watery and I turn to look.. looking at the doctor in the eyes.. when I looked at the eyes.. it looks like your eyes.. and I would look.. and you are holding the picture in your hand.. and I can't believe I am asking YOU to get rid of my heart.. I am wondering.. and of course.. I remember you told me when we were young.. that YOU had dreams.. you wanted to be a Heart doctor and help healing wounds.. you told me once.. your dreams was to be a doctor who would save lives.. and I am sitting down.. as Your hand is holding that picture.. this is the picture YOU never saw.. but it was when YOU were working with me at the Work Shop.. and do you not remember.. the flowers I gave YOU.. and Yes.. you gave me the flowers back and I dropped the flowers on the floor.. as I looked at YOU.. I would smile at you.. I am glad that YOU have fulfilled your dreams of becoming a Doctor.. at least I came to the right person because if I were to die tonight.. at least YOU are the last person I got to see before I die
Of tears would drop.. I just can't live without you.. or please let me have a chance to love YOU.. you can make a choice.. be the One to do the surgery to my Heart.. or let me please just keep on loving YOU.. because I just want to love you more and more.. tell me why can't I love you more.. as I am looking at you as the doctor.. I see you turning away.. with the picture in your hand.. I see you leave the patient room.. why can't you get rid of my Heart.. get rid of this Heart so that I don't love you any more.. make a choice for me.. Please.. tell me which way for me to go.. I am looking at you.. I just could not believe that YOU are now a doctor.. a Heart surgeon.. of course I came here to get my Heart to be removed.. I wanted another Heart Surgeon because.. Can you handle doing the surgery.. planting into a different Heart.. a Heart from someone else.. What would you do if I don't recognize YOU any more.. what will you do if I start to love another whose Heart has been loving.. But.. I don't want to lose YOU.. How can I live without YOU.. How can I breathe if I can't love YOU any more.. but all this Time.. I have been only loving YOU.. YOU are the Only One who I been missing.. I been crying over looking at the empty wall.. walking into the Work Shop.. I been missing YOU.. missing your Presence.. just missing your smile.. can YOU handle me.. putting me into the deep sleep.. as YOU cut my chest wide open.. I know that YOU are more experience in this kind of work.. If you are the Doctor.. because I asked for a well experienced.. well established with multiple years of experience.. I don't want my Heart to be broken.. I don't want my Heart to be dropped on the floor.. It has been with me all of my life.. ever since I was born.. ever since I was a young Boy.. when I first saw YOU.. I cried.. I started to cry after YOU left.. YOU promised me that YOU will be back.. and I felt my Heart.. I did not know what it was at the first touch.. I just could not stop.. but I would kept on crying through the Night.. that is when I could Not sleep.. I kept on thinking of YOU.. over and over.. turning and tossing.. all of the children at the Orphan House.. they were all sleeping good.. I sat on top of the bed.. wondering.. why couldn't I sleep like the Other children.. I do remember you gave me your picture.. I saw both of your parents with YOU.. and I do remember.. being so Poor.. without any parents.. living with bunch of poor children.. who had No homes.. only could gather with each other.. I looked at YOU.. I would smile.. I could never smile living with bunch of these children.. they were all dirty like Me.. pushing and shoving.. kicking and screaming.. and there was No peace.. When I heard the Old Woman.. the Care taker says to the Children.. a Missionary family is coming.. to help Us.. to help educate and give Us books to read.. and toys to play with.. of course.. it was YOU and your Parents who came.. I knew that I should of stopped myself right when I met YOU.. I don't know why I asked for your picture that day.. before YOU were leaving.. and as I was crying.. I wanted to be a Part.. so I asked for YOUR picture.. when YOU told me that YOU are going to give me One.. and That smile.. you pulled out and told me that this is the Only One.. the best Picture you have taken.. I saw your Smile.. and YOU told me.. behind the Picture is your Address.. and If I wanted a friend to share my Heart.. to write YOU a Letter.. I do remember watching YOU leave.. Your Father and Mother holding your Hands as YOU leave.. I would be waving with tears in my eyes.. I felt so Alone.. I felt so cold.. I felt so Poor.. and I would fall both on my knees.. and Weeping as I take a Look at your Picture.. why do you have to leave so Soon.. Are you going to come to visit me and the children.. and both hands holding the side of the Picture.. YOU are so Beautiful.. and I be looking with tears.. wiping my tears with my hand.. I feel so Alone.. I feel so sad because My Heart.. is it going to break like this.. My Heart keeps on breaking because YOU know how much I love you right.. and I do remember that Night.. I just could not sleep.. and sitting on the top of the Bed.. I pulled out Your Picture.. and I would look.. and I do remember what YOU said.. to write YOU when I needed a friend.. and I would get Out of the Bed and I walked to the desk.. and I sat down to write.. as I am laying.. I am looking at YOU.. as a Doctor.. as the Heart Surgeon.. I should of Not come to this Hospital.. What are you going to do with My Heart.. I don't want you to take my Heart away.. if I can't love you any more.. I rather ask for another Doctor.. I guess the main reason is to forget YOU.. and Let my Heart be taken away and Let someone else have My Heart.. But when I saw YOU.. if YOU were another Doctor.. another Heart Surgeon.. then I think it would been so much easier to go with the proceed to do the surgery but.. I feel like My Heart Now just can't go.. it has been such a Long time since I saw YOU.. and for the longest Time.. I have been missing YOU.. but Now.. I just can't give My Heart away with YOU becoming the Doctor.. the Heart Surgeon.. I been to the Work Shop lately.. and started a Project.. to rebuild that Work Shop.. it has been broken and abandoned for a Long time.. I just could Not work there any more.. for some reason I would see YOU.. even though YOU were never there.. there would be a Lot of pictures I would put on the walls.. that is before YOU left.. taking many pictures of YOU.. a lots of laugh.. lots of crying but more smiles On my face when YOU were there with Me.. I wanted to go back.. I started to miss you ever since I left because I kept on thinking of YOU.. I would go into the Home that I live.. in a small box.. I would put all of your letters you wrote Me.. When I was at the Orphan House.. when I felt the Most Hardest Place.. I felt cold and lonely when I was there.. One Night I when into the Closet and I saw the Small Box.. after a long day of work.. I pulled the small box Out and I would open the top of the Lid.. and I would sit on the Top of the Bed.. I would look at all of the Letters you wrote me when I was young.. and I started to read the Letters.. filled my eyes with Tears again.. I would go back when I was young at that age.. and I do remember when I received the Letter.. I would open it.. and it was from YOU.. and I just could Not believe that YOU would write back.. and It felt like the same way.. I started to feel my eyes.. I just couldn't breathe because it was YOU.. YOU are the One who put time to write.. it got to my Heart.. and I started to cry.. My Heart was broken.. and it kept on breaking but looking at the Letters.. I would read it few more times.. and I started to think about YOU at the Work Shop.. what If you would be back.. even though I knew that YOU would never come around.. but I kept on thinking.. YOU could just visit.. but if YOU walked into the Work Shop all Broken and Abandoned.. then I know that YOU will Not come around ever again.. because NO ONE knows what will happen next.. so I started to make a Plan.. to remodel.. and to re build that Building.. just in case One day.. some day soon you can come.. and YOU will know that it has never been broken down.. as I gathered some workers.. spend days.. spend weeks and into the months.. new paintings.. putting UP the fences.. and even started to go back into the garden.. planting new seeds to bring into the life.. after it was all completed.. and the work shop was back on business.. I went in to work again.. of course there was something missing as I started to work in that shop.. it was YOU.. it felt like I cannot never get YOU back.. since you left long ago.. How can I bring YOU back if YOU have already left.. I would look at the wall.. the Wall with Your Pictures.. many of the Pictures I would post to share.. as I would start to look at Your Pictures.. Just memories of YOU came flashing through my Mind.. I knew that if I wanted to continue to run this Business.. I needed to get Rid of My Heart.. I knew that only if My Heart goes.. I can work in this Work Shop without missing YOU so Much.. that is the Only way I knew that I can continue.. that is when I decided to go into the surgery.. that I wanted to let My Heart to go.. I asked for the Best Doctor.. the Heart Surgeon with the Best experience.. of course never thought that It would be YOU walking into this Room.. even though I want YOU to do the Surgery.. I just can't Lose YOU.. after I see YOU now.. and How well YOU are in Life.. I think I just can't let My Heart go.. and I am looking at YOU.. I do need My Heart to be replaced.. but what would happen if I don't love you any More.. I am sure Now you are doing good with another Man.. can YOU still do the Heart surgery.. Now the Person who is going to exchange with my Heart comes into the Room and sits on another Bed.. and I turn to look at the Person.. I just can't believe it.. the Man turns to look at me.. I am not sure if I know this Man but the Man looks at me.. He is the friend who has taken YOU away.. I am wondering.. why is this Man in the same bed.. He wants his Heart to be removed just Like me.. and I am wondering.. I don't want His Heart.. I rather keep My Heart.. He has a Broken Heart too.. and I look at YOU.. I am wondering.. what is going On and Now YOU are telling me.. the relationship has ended on Both.. and that YOU are single.. and I am thinking.. Am I suppose to be happy or suppose to be Sad.. are YOU sad.. is that WHY you have become a Heart Surgeon.. WHO has Not been loving YOU well.. YOU know that If YOU are removing all Kinds of Hearts.. is it because someone has broken YOUR HEART or are you breaking Hearts and switching Hearts to different People.. because I don't want Another Broken Heart.. can I have YOUR HEART instead.. How about YOU can do the surgery
Would say to YOU.. this was why I started to Love YOU.. you wrote when I was at the Most Lowest of the time of my Life and has fixed this Broken Heart by telling me all of this.. I been waiting for YOU.. but YOU never came.. the door was never locked because it is YOU who I been waiting for.. I would be working in the Flower Shop.. waiting if YOU would ever show UP.. but you would never come.. It broke my Heart because what If YOU would stop by.. even just for Once.. I was Not asking for a long time.. even just for few seconds.. it would been enough for Me.. but YOU never came.. working in the Flower Shop without YOU was the most difficult thing for Me because I would be waiting.. even though I knew deep in my Heart that YOU would never show UP.. just hoping that it would be you who would knock on the door.. asking for me to open that door in the Work Shop.. in that flower Work Shop.. I would cry many nights of thinking of YOU.. just remembering all of the memories we shared together in that Shop.. I would watch YOU with the camera.. lights flashes as YOU would take pictures of the Flowers.. asking me about how it grew.. the place where I would planted in the soil.. I would even take you to the spots.. back in the garden.. where YOU would see the flowers in full bloom.. matured and sprung UP for YOU to take a look.. YOU would smile.. I would watch YOU holding that camera in front.. as I would watch YOU looking through the camera Lens and taking pictures of the flowers back in the Garden.. I wanted to Hold YOU.. I wanted to Pull you closer to me.. around my arms I wanted to feel YOU inside.. but I would stop myself of getting closer to YOU.. I wanted to get close.. I wanted to walk and stand beside YOU.. just to feel for seconds.. How you would feel in my arms.. How would you breathe.. How about the sound of the beating of Your Heart.. can I hear it.. will my Heart also make the same sound of Your Heart.. I wanted to get close.. just to see how it would feel.. YOU in my arms.. I wanted you near.. I wanted you close.. I was so close because I would walk but I would stop to step back.. It hurts me because I wanted to feel YOU in my arms.. But I just could not get closer.. Because I knew that YOU would push me to say Back Off.. Just Now How it feels.. Just thinking about YOU.. brings so Much Joy and happiness.. I would smile a lot.. My Heart be moving in a way I just can't control.. my emotions just wants to pour Out to YOU.. I want to stop.. I can't control myself because It has been Hard lately.. Missing YOU is so Hard.. at the same Time.. it brings me a lot of tears.. that I can't stop myself crying.. I don't want to show YOU any more tears.. but It hurts to know that YOU don't want to come close.. so Far.. so Near.. so Close.. the distance between Us.. leaving me to Be hurt.. missing YOU all the time.. but I want to get close.. NO Matter How I feel.. as long as it is YOU.. I will always Love YOU.. don't ask me why do I keep on hurting myself but still loves YOU.. as I am sitting on the Chair.. I am looking at Your Picture.. it is YOU when YOU were with me at the Flower Shop.. holding a flower in Your Hand.. with such a Beautiful Smile.. I remember that it was the day I wanted to show YOU the New Flowers that has been reached the Full Bloom stage.. it was back in the Garden.. the Same camera you were using to take many pictures of the flowers.. I would ask YOU.. take one of the Flowers from the Bed in the back of this Garden.. I watched you lower yourself.. grabbed and pulled the Flower Out.. and telling me that it is this One.. that it is the Most Beautiful One.. Your Favorite and I do remember leading YOU back into the Flower Work Shop.. YOU were standing by the wall.. and Holding the flower in your Hand.. I would have the Camera in my hands.. My eye would look through the lens of the Camera.. I would see YOU.. my finger stopped at the Button.. because what if this be the last picture I could take from this Camera.. this Fear came all over me.. shaking and trembling from the Inside.. I stopped my finger to press.. YOU were wondering why I could not click the Button.. My Heart would skip.. trying to find if there is a Beat.. I would take a deep breathe and my finger presses the Button and the light switches and it takes the Picture of YOU.. when I put the Camera Down.. I am looking at the Wall.. in the Flower Work Shop.. I only see the wall.. I don't see YOU there.. and with me is the Same Picture.. it was the last time I took the picture of YOU because the Next day.. YOU told me that YOU are not going to work with me at the Flower Shop.. that YOU have find someone that YOU love.. and that YOU are going with Him.. and I felt my world turn upside down.. I felt that everything be crumbling.. I saw YOU leave as the Door closes behind me.. I would sit on the Floor.. I would cry Loud and wail More.. I just couldn't control these emotions when it is torn apart.. I would Beat with my hand on my Chest.. I would Hit it so Hard.. I just couldn't stop hitting my Chest.. wanting to Pull my Heart out.. It hurts me because all I see is YOU.. YOU leaving me behind and I am left alone at the Flower Work Shop.. everything began to fall apart.. I started to drink a lot.. heavy into drinking.. crash and burn.. falling apart and falling down.. I just don't wanted to get UP any more.. I just couldn't handle this Kind of Pain.. it was killing me from the Inside.. How can I erase this Pain that is eating me from the Inside.. How can I get rid of this Kind of Hellish Pain.. I just wanted to Die.. for years I felt this way.. I felt like I wanted to give UP.. but.. for some reason.. if I truly love YOU.. I know that I needs to get back UP and try to live.. try to live the best I can.. so that One day I am able to see YOU again and the Day I see YOU.. I will never let YOU GO.. I decided to go and get my Heart check.. if something is wrong with me.. is it My Heart who has the Problem.. or is it just Me.. I came to the Clinic.. just to check my Heart.. I feel so ill.. I feel so Sick.. because I been thinking about YOU too much lately.. I wanted to forget.. I wanted to erase YOU off my Mind so I called to make an Appointment.. so that I can get a Heart surgery.. and I been sitting down on this chair.. waiting for the Doctor to call my Name.. for the Doctor to see me.. I wanted the Doctor to Know that I want to get rid of this Heart.. I put my name on the List.. had many people waiting in the line sitting on the chairs.. the assistant calls My name to go into a room.. NOW.. I go into the Room.. waiting for the doctor.. and as I sit patiently waiting for the Doctor.. I am looking at your Picture.. Looking at YOU holding the flower in your hand.. standing by the wall.. Before I came to this Clinic Office.. I went over this Moring to the Flower Work Shop.. as I walked inside the Work Shop.. I would stand there alone.. LOOKING at the Wall where YOU would stand.. I would look at the empty Wall.. looking at the picture of YOU holding.. the same spot.. you were standing with a smile holding the flower.. the Last time I saw YOU is when I took this Picture.. it hurts Me more.. I would.. the Flower Work Shop was dark and I would be standing alone.. crying looking at the Picture of YOU.. which it was the last time YOU stood by this Wall.. and I just can't let YOU go.. WHY is it me who has to let it Go.. why is it YOU who has to hurt Me.. why can't I ever hurt you and I would look at the Wall.. where YOU would stand the last time and I would scream because my Heart.. It wanted to shatter into pieces.. WHY did YOU have to leave me for someone else.. WHY can't YOU ever know how much I love YOU.. why don't you see me.. WHY can't you see me as the Person who loves you the Most.. and I would again cry.. looking at the wall.. after looking at the Picture of YOU where YOU once stood by this wall.. I would fall to the ground.. and I just can't.. why can't I just let YOU GO.. it is killing me so Bad.. why can't I let YOU GO.. what is it about YOU holding unto me.. like a stronghold.. and I would cry loud.. wailing.. hitting my hand against my chest.. It hurts me just too much because I want to be loved by YOU.. why can't YOU see me for once.. HOW ABOUT ME.. you know that I can love YOU better.. YOU know that I can love YOU more.. I can even love you stronger.. just please give me a chance.. just one chance.. as I am waiting in the Room in the clinic Office.. I know that I may not live for Long.. because My Heart is broken.. It has been shattered into many little pieces.. YOU have broken my Heart.. If I can't fix my Heart.. what am I going to do with this Shattered of pieces broken Heart that is in me.. If I can't fix it.. Maybe the Doctor can help me to fix IT.. what if the Doctor can't fix my Heart.. I am going to ask the Doctor to go me a Surgery.. because what am I going to do with this Broken Shattered Heart.. I can at least donate it to someone else.. give me a New Heart.. someone else can take my Place.. can Have this Heart.. that someone else can Love YOU instead because I know that I can't.. I don't even know where YOU at so how can I love YOU when YOU are NO where to be found.. and I am lost somewhere.. and I would be sitting on this Chair.. LOOKING at the Picture of YOU.. I sit in silence just thinking of the Flower Work Shop.. I want to go back with YOU.. can YOU please go back with me to this Flower work Shop.. I want to live again.. I want to feel that I am alive again.. I want to breathe again because without YOU.. just look at me at this Point in my Life without YOU.. and as I am looking at the picture.. waiting for the doctor to come into this room.. I am looking at your Picture and speaking to the Picture.. the door Opens but it stops.. I am thinking.. maybe it is another patient who just came into the wrong room and I would open my Mouth.. as I am looking at the picture of YOU
The door and when I open the door to that Flower Work shop and WHEN I open to see who it is.. I wanted to smile to see YOU there.. standing there.. just giving me even few seconds of your presences.. just to say I love YOU.. just to say I missed YOU.. or to say welcome back.. because I just can't let YOU GO.. Because I never stopped loving YOU.. even now I love you still.. I been waiting so that I can tell YOU how much I love YOU.. as I look up.. I hear the door closed.. and I am thinking.. this whole time the door was opened.. I wonder who it is who hear me speaking to Your Picture.. I wonder who it is.. and the door Opens.. my hand opens and the picture falls to the ground because it is YOU who is standing by the door.. That YOU are the Doctor.. My Doctor there.. Feeling alone and lonely.. I just wanted to be happy.. be filled with Love and Joy.. YOU came out of nowhere.. and YOU came to surprise me.. But gone like the Wind that I wanted to look for YOU.. I was just too young to do anything back Then.. But when I hit 18 years old.. I did leave that Orphan Home and started to travel Out.. and I started to wonder about YOU.. where can I find YOU.. where would YOU be.. please tell me.. I remember a Flower Shop was hiring.. and the Owner of the Flower shop started to show Me.. How to raise the Seeds and into flowers it became.. teaching me about the soils and water.. how deep to be planted.. and time and hour to water it.. I wanted to be the Best Flower shop in town.. so I would work day and Night until I made my own mark.. I started to look for YOU after.. When I saw Your Picture.. and Knew that YOU are the One.. I wanted you to be the Only One in my life.. so that I can Love YOU.. I can love you More and More.. the way I love these flowers.. watching from the smallest seeds and it grows and produces and Blooms.. the Most Beautiful Flowers are when YOU Love the Flowers from the Heart.. YOU care of its beings to see the Next to produce.. I fell in love with the Flower Shop and these Flowers.. But.. My Heart.. still was missing.. and I knew that I was missing YOU.. I wanted to be with YOU.. My friend would come to check on me.. He saw me very sad.. and Knowing My Heart.. I would speak of YOU.. even though it was years ago.. many years ago.. But I never shared about the Orphan HOME that I met you.. because I just did not want HIM to get involved searching for YOU.. How could I be with YOU.. How can a Lowly Person.. who is so poor and has Nothing in his Life.. How can I ask for YOU.. but ALL I can share is about Love.. just loving YOU.. How much.. I don't know how much.. But as much as I can with ALL my Heart.. that I love YOU.. He told me about a Young lady.. that Young lady is looking for a Man too.. And He told me that YOU were too sad as well.. When I saw Your Picture.. it was something like Are we meant to Be.. I was blown into pieces.. WHEN he took out the picture.. of YOU being YOUNG and YOU recently Picture.. I sat there.. taking a Deep breathe.. MY tears.. It just could Not hold back.. I had to share this Tears of Joy.. How long I wondered.. when will I see YOU again.. It has taken me so Long.. so long to find YOU.. My breathe was taken after.. and I told him about YOU.. the Orphan Home.. When I saw YOU.. I was very YOUNG.. losing my family broke me into pieces.. When I saw YOU.. I knew YOU were the One who can Heal what was broken inside of Me.. I wanted to be a Part of Your Life.. and Just to Love YOU.. I am Not sure why.. or How this Can Happen but it did.. and I looked at my Friend and He was too jaw dropping after.. I told Him.. I wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to meet YOU again.. I can't help but fall in love with YOU again.. because I love YOU.. As I am looking at your Picture in the Work shop.. and just watching YOU go.. and I would ask.. WHY couldn't I stop you from Leaving.. If I know that I can love YOU more.. I should of told YOU Not to leave me.. But to ask YOU to stay.. I can't lose YOU twice.. I have lost YOU once when I was young.. But of course I just couldn't do anything back then.. But Now.. I know that I can't let YOU go.. because I love YOU.. I know that I love YOU more Now then Ever.. I just can't believe YOU walked Out when I had the chance to Stop YOU.. if I truly love YOU.. I know I can do something.. I know that I can tell YOU.. Please don't go.. stay with me inside.. I can make YOU more happier than ever.. I know you be asking.. How can I make YOU more happier.. If YOU love Me.. If Your Own Heart loves Me.. I know YOU have the answers because only Your Heart knows the truth.. if YOU really felt something for me.. and It is Not friendship or brotherly love.. or Not just like me.. Only YOU KNOW what is IN your Heart.. I wrote a Note in the back.. saying I love YOU.. ever since I saw YOU the first Time.. I was truly amazed and truly blown to pieces.. there is something about YOU.. I just can't forget.. because I loved you then.. I love YOU now.. and I will always Love you forever.. I guess YOU have say the Note I wrote on the back.. I walked to the center of the Floor.. I lowered.. putting all the Flowers laid on floor back into the Box.. I put the Lid on the TOP.. I know that someone will come to get the Boxes of Flowers.. as I am holding the Box in my hands.. YOU have always been the One.. I am not sure what made me felt something in my Heart.. I am not sure what it was.. but it was the First time.. I put my hand on my Chest.. I started to hear a Beat.. a Beat that was getting Louder and Louder inside.. telling me.. It must be YOU.. of course.. I know that YOU are so Beautiful.. the Most Beautiful Flower.. even more beautiful than any of these flowers in the Work Shop.. that it is Not only me who loves YOU.. that Another MAN do love you too.. YOU must be truly amazing.. Amazing to be loved.. who does Not want to love YOU anyways.. But.. I never stopped loving YOU.. I started to think about the Friend.. I know he never shares anything.. so this Must be someone so Special.. I know that YOU are truly special.. because I know that My Heart loves YOU.. it does not matter because I know I love YOU.. Please come back.. Please come to this Work Shop.. Come so that I can tell YOU.. how much I love YOU because I just do.. as I put my hand on my Chest.. I can feel my Heart beat.. it is beating fast.. I close both of my eyes.. and I can go back to the TIME when we first met.. YOU are my Angel.. YOU are my Sunshine.. YOU are my everything that a MAN can ask for because YOU are the real deal that NO MAN can ask FOR.. you are just everything.. my forever Love to me.. As I am standing on the Line.. waiting for a Cup of Coffee.. I turn my head to look back.. I see someone sitting on the chair by the Window.. There you were.. sitting down.. having a COFFEE.. and reading a BOOK.. I love YOU.. these are the Only words I can tell YOU.. But.. WHY is is so hard to Love YOU.. I wish that Loving You could be more easier.. but.. It seems like things are getting more harder.. Please tell me that I can Love YOU.. how am I suppose to Love YOU.. when YOU are so Far.. as I am standing in the Line.. I remember another Friend of Mine told me that YOU would be here.. and ALL I could do is Look for YOU.. as I am waiting to get a Cup of Coffee.. I pull Out Your Picture in the back Pocket.. as I am looking at Your Picture.. I am asking.. WHY are YOU so Beautiful.. I have been waiting for a Long time for a Woman Like you to be In my Life.. All my life.. I waited.. and waited until Another Friend of Mine telling me.. If I wanted to meet you.. and Showed me the Picture of YOU.. I was blown into Pieces as he gave me the Picture.. it was like a Month before the Meeting time.. and I would be wondering about YOU.. of course looking at Your picture is the Only thing I can do.. But.. Meeting YOU and being a Part.. it is something that I would never thought would ever happen to me.. I would be laying on the bed.. Just wondering How you would be like when I saw YOU and meeting you face to face.. as person to person.. Just could not get enough of patiently waiting for The Day.. it seems a lot longer when YOU are wondering.. and just pondering the day.. only I could do is look at your Picture.. and wishing for the Day to come sooner.. the clock would tick.. the time on the clock would go by so slow because I wanted to meet YOU much sooner.. the Other friend told me to be patient because No matter how Long I waited.. the Time would come anyways.. of course the Other Friend was right.. Time did come and Now.. I am waiting on this Line.. so many people enjoy drinking a Cup of Coffee.. as I would look around.. I am looking at the Picture of You.. if YOU came.. I would turn my head to look back.. There were YOU.. YOU were by the Window.. and I would LOOK at the Picture of YOU.. and I saw YOU.. reading a Book.. as I was getting closer.. and the person in front of me gets a coffee and the person leaves.. It was My Turn.. and I even got me a Cup of Coffee.. As I turn.. I saw YOU.. by the window.. and YOU were smiling reading a book
