RelationShots is a place to get practical relationship advice that Actually Works in your relationship. Every Tuesday at 12pm CST check out a new video discussing keys areas for building a relationship that goes the distance.
There is no such thing as a platonic friendship. Call it what you will, but the transactional nature of the friendship is one of validation for the woman and sexual opportunity for the man.
My only fear about sex is being r****. I’m still a virgin, only by the grace and mercy of the Lord, and am in a relationship that hopefully will lead to marriage. It is definitely difficult to not have sex, especially when I have been cheated on in the past because I chose to honor the Lord and not have premarital sex, but the Holy Ghost is continuously helping me to not give in to societal pressure in this area of my life, and I am grateful.
The issue is the dualistic mating strategy common with most women. They have two types of men they’re “attracted” to. The masculine bad boy archetype that they are sexually attracted to. And then the reliable nice guy they can trust for long term security and who they see as “husband” material when they’re ready to settle down. The important term there is security. That’s what women crave when they start to get older, late 20’s through to late 30’s. Now the issue with this is ALL men want regular sex from a partner who they think desires them. Women seem to think or hope that only the men they sexualise will want this. So we end up with sexless miserable marriages for the men and she may have got everything she wants and she’s happy to carry on. With more women now looking after their own security financially they are now looking more at the men they’re sexually attracted to for long term relationships. They don’t need the security and reliability from the beta nice guy. This change is good.
what if one spouse wants to completely remove sex from the marriage and tells the other “you don’t really need it so it isn’t a big deal” while having an affair. I don’t think she owes me but I expressed it as a desire for closeness and was shot down. I don’t want to sound like she owes me but I am unable to stay in a marriage where my spouse not only refuses to have sex with me but chooses to have sex with others.
Im so sorry to hear that😢 i never would tell anybody to divorce or to retaliate. But in your case i think you should try to talk to her about how your feeling. And if that doesnt work, than you have a really tough decision to make😒 which you the best and ill be praying for God to give you wisdom and to guide you in the path that is his will🙏🕊
@@lidiamurillo9467 Thank you, that’s the most important thing. I feel Ive gotten lost in my desire to save my marriage and while I know God hates divorce, I still need to try to discern his will and his path for me, with or without my wife. Thank you for the prayers.
@@johnsonjj117 Well, obviously her affair is unacceptable, period! As is telling our spouse that a natural and healthy aspect of marriage isn’t necessary and deciding to withhold. I’m guessing there is a lot more going on in the relationship than just this area
@@RelationShots I honestly don’t know. She said she has never been in love with me despite the fact we dated for 8 years before getting married. She’s not sure she wants to put in the effort required to keep romance alive in a 15+ year relationship but still wants to plan out our life because she “loves the life we have built” and “want my cake and to eat it too”. Her words. I just don’t know what to do with someone who says she wants to be here and chooses the marriage every time I tell her to make a decision but then can’t commit to the work required to fix a marriage.
@@johnsonjj117 That’s certainly difficult to be with someone who likes the benefits of the marriage and life you’ve built but isn’t willing to work hard to get back the connection and intimacy with you.
Summary: #1. Use the correct words and tone to describe how you are personally feeling. #2. Know what questions to ask and how to ask them. #3. Know what questions to follow up with to learn more. #4. Show the other person that you understand what they're feeling. If I made any mistakes please correct me.
If men and women would be the same, act the same, think the same, feel the same... there would be no balance in society. Its like there would be only one weather season, the winter the whole year. the nature wouldnt grow. Men would feel like they fall in love with a man, the exact "picture" of himself. But men and women may have lot in common, for example sense of humor, humility, compassion, love for sports and hobbies. Man and women create a balance for each other, she brings him down in loving way, down to earth, to his natural state, makes him smile, and he as stronger human, lifts her up, gently, as nice flower, he is making her more confident by lifting her up, or inspiring her. Because testosterone makes men more calm and problemsolving and focused. while estrogen may make women stressful and anxious, which is healthy in some situations. estrogen makes women to notice some stuff, whether the baby is healthy. He is embracing her vulnerability, the things that she isnt as strong or experienced. She should embrace his vulnerabilities and together transform them in healthy way. There are two types of vulnerabilty, healthy and unhealthy. Its seems woman represents mother nature, she is supposed to support him in some way, gently, and he is representing some rock, or creative individual, and together they craete a couple. Both are creative in different way. Men are technical, mathematical, women are intuitive. Buth both are intuitive in different way. Men also can be sensitive. Because for example men musicians, or guitair players use to have very easy peronality, and sensitive personality too, because music is emotional thing...So it seems like men musicians are as sensitive as women, but at the same time masculine. Maybe therefore some women fall in love with musicians, becuse they are able to be sensitive and react properly in the right way, but at the same time to be masculine. Some men musicians havea lso very good relationship with theoir mother.... and with parents. So teh women react to his very natural state of personality and sensitivity. while men who work in other jobs, dont want to be very sensitive,, or they were not growing up to be sensitive.
Sounds like this person doesn’t have self-control that they’re gonna be a cheater, on down the line in their marriage. There is always somebody that’s cuter, sexier, more good looking, etc., they need to have self-control, self-discipline, self-assurance, etc.
I am so glad you made this video 😆 I have heard this verse used for the wrong reasons too... and it did not sit well with me, the key word for me was "self-control" and all the risks involved when people just go for it!! The way you put it has made me giggle, but you are right in all you said. A text out of context, becomes a pretext. We are called to be alert, wise and use discernment! Thank you once again 🤗
@@GaryoXGaming 😼😂 I would look for shared core values (being equally yoked is not just faith but other core values as well), how willing you each are and able to manage your areas of key differences. Patterns of communication and conflict resolution as well…to name a few
Yeah thats why i wish the honeymoon stage didnt even exist. It gives you a false view of things. You get so use to the high of a new relationship. Sex is in abudance. Your partner is on their best behavior. Then they get "comfortable" and things start going in the opposite direction. My ex use to voluntarily fart during sex. Telling me it 100% natural. But smelling a stinky fart during sex is just a libido killer in my opinion. I would always ask her why she never farted during sex for the first year we were together then. She would never answer it.
Sadly, I married an impotent man who didn't tell me before we married. Im the typical trophy wife to make him look somewhat normal. At 68, im bitter and feel betrayed. Basically trapped. Im finding out this is more common than I thought.
Not my everything… my priority! My only source of receiving female sexual and romantic ATTENTION! Getting sexual attention from another woman, WITH OR WITHOUT my wife present is the beginning of cheating!
Love it! Marriage myth….marriage is hard. As if being single is easy or is the cure for a failing marriage. I believe marriage does require great sacrifice but so does being single. Lastly, you don’t have to tell us only 2% of us are really only amazing. Lol 😂 we need real expectations but we can have ups and downs and still be amazing! See you in the master class. Appreciate all you do!
How do couples find resolution here if both feel misunderstood? Seems that both will continue to have a hard time receiving advice from eachother. One is going to have to be the bigger person to make the other feel understood...but thus could be difficult for either one of them Your thoughts?
The goal would obviously be for both desire to understand the other person. If that can’t be done by yourselves then seeking some outside help to help you both arrive there would be a good idea
This advice would have been helpful several generations ago when the issues being described actually were the root cause of the problem. Today it is way off base for most situations. I truly feel sad for those wives whose husbands won't treat them right. But for the vast majority of men not enjoying intimacy at some reasonable level, the wife has bought into decades of societal BS to where she feels no obligation to provide for her husband's needs. Meanwhile she still expects him to provide for her other needs. You can't fix that kind of hypocritical self-centered attitude by better communication.
@@chrisstaplehurst9674 there are lots of different options of you just search on Amazon. I know a number of couples who have used these: www.amazon.com/OUR-MOMENTS-Couples-Bundle-Relationships/dp/B07VKD2X74/ref=asc_df_B07VKD2X74/?tag=hyprod-20&linkCode=df0&hvadid=693374915020&hvpos=&hvnetw=g&hvrand=13997609629288625230&hvpone=&hvptwo=&hvqmt=&hvdev=m&hvdvcmdl=&hvlocint=&hvlocphy=1026339&hvtargid=pla-805990700863&psc=1&mcid=eb0f7a7e5fc53712a257c4c05f19c036&gad_source=1
You can't fix this problem. It's like having a vehicle that is always breaking down. There's no value in trying to repair it. Something else is always going to go wrong. Meanwhile, your being blamed for the problems. Best thing to do is trade her in on a new model.
How can you truly understand behavior that they themselves don’t even understand. My wife said I’m her best friend, she loves me, loves spending time with me, finds me attractive and enjoys having sex with me but isn’t “in love”. The guy she thought she was in love with, well turns out she doesn’t feel that way anymore. She said she isn’t “throwing in the towelon us” but feels like she has “closed the chapter on us”. How does one come from a place of understanding with such seemingly incomprehensible and contradictory statements
