I open the back Door of the Work shop.. and the Garden is here.. I wish that YOU were here so that I can show you something.. something that I been wanting to show YOU.. started to rebuild this Garden just to tell YOU.. just to show YOU my Heart.. Do you remember how much YOU loved Flowers.. YOU are the One who gave me the Dream to work in this Flower Shop.. telling me that when we were Once Young.. back in the Orphan Home.. I came to YOU.. and it was after a time being.. and YOU showed me this Art Piece of paper.. and I remember.. your Both Parents as the Missionaries.. children would RUN.. they would hear from the Lady who owned the House.. with many Little Children who came from Broken Homes.. having NO parents.. having NO ONE who can Love them.. but It was both Your parents who came and spend the Time with these Children.. I would ask for YOU when YOU did Not come.. I heard from your Father says.. YOU have a Big Dreams.. and that YOU are so Busy with daily Life trying to Accomplish the many Big Dreams YOU had.. and One was painting.. How you love to draw and add colors to the Picture YOU drew.. and after a Long time of NOT showing UP.. I guess YOU finally showed UP.. many Months went By.. I do remember sitting by myself.. Out side.. and did Not want to talk to Any One.. I just did Not want to fit in with any one.. I heard the Foot steps walking towards Me.. and stops.. When I lifted UP my Head.. I see YOU.. but WHY did it take YOU so Long to come visit Me.. I would ask.. Your Father.. I would ask.. Your Mother.. why don't you ever Come.. is it because YOU did Not want to see Me.. your Parents be saying the same thing.. YOU are always Busy.. and Now YOU show UP.. when I am down and feel so alone.. WHY did you come to Hurt me.. I would LOOK at YOU with a Smile.. and YOU sat down next to me.. and YOU told me.. YOU been painting.. going into the Art Classes.. learning the Oil Painting.. and I am over here.. feel so Sad.. it must feel so Good to have great Parents who can Help you with Your Future.. but Look at me.. I have NO future.. a broken Heart.. NO family.. no parents who loves Me.. and YOU turn and tells me to Hush UP.. and YOU showed me something.. and told me to take a Look of your Piece of Art.. I am wondering.. and It is so beautiful.. Just Like YOU.. this Flower.. so Beautiful.. and YOU gave me this Piece of Art and you gave me a Smile.. NOW.. I am wondering.. WHY did you give me this Form of Art.. what is it that I do with this.. Just to look at this Piece of Paper with a Flower on it.. and YOU smiled.. and told me to be More Creative with it.. and to Open my Mind and Heart.. something will come Alive.. and as I watch YOU smile and YOU waved your hands at me.. both parents next to YOU as they wanted to go Home.. I stood UP.. and I waved back at YOU.. WHEN will I see YOU again.. is it going to be another year.. maybe even much Later HUH.. and I would look at YOU as YOU go in the back of the Car.. and I see Your parents goes into the car and the Car starts to drive away.. and I start to run.. chasing after the Car and I see you turn to LOOK back of the window and My tears were falling out of my Eyes.. what If I keep on missing YOU.. what if this Piece of Art does Not heal my Heart and I would see the Car NO more.. and I stop.. crying.. wiping my tears.. and I turn the Other way.. and I am Looking at this Piece of Art.. the Flower YOU painted.. and what is the name of this Flower.. and where can I find this Kind of Flower.. is it possible for me to get this Kind of Flower.. I mean.. what if I start to sell this Kind of Flower.. will you come.. will you show UP and see and I would lift UP the Piece of Art.. the Flower Painting.. and I would stand and think about what YOU said.. to Open my Mind.. and to Open my Heart.. to think and dreams.. and do WHAT.. I stood still.. do What.. and I would walk slowly to the Orphan Home.. just thinking about what I should do.. be Creative.. and I would walk into the House asking myself.. do what.. as I am on the Back of the Work Shop.. in my hand is the Piece of Art.. the Flower painting YOU gave me when I was YOUNG.. and I am looking at this Small bed.. and I see Flowers growing on this Bed of ground.. and I would lower my self.. LOOKING at the Piece of Art.. and the Flower Painting and I would look at these Live Flowers in the Bed of the Ground.. It has been a long ways of Coming.. and I am waiting for the Flowers to grow and mature to the Full Bloom.. adult Flowers.. and I would stare at these flowers.. and I see the Forms and I am seeing the Shape.. it is becoming More Like the Piece of Art.. the Flower Paintings I am holding in my hands.. YOU told Me.. When I was sitting Down Alone.. and I felt like NO ONE else cared about Me.. I heard the Foot steps walking.. and stopped in front of Me.. when I lifted UP my Head.. my eyes.. I was truly Amazed of HOW Beautiful.. so Lovely in form.. my eyes met Your eyes and I wanted to tell YOU.. which left me speechless to share at that Moment.. I wanted to tell YOU and say to YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. so Amazingly Beautiful.. My words.. my Lips.. my mouth just could Not speak the Language to tell YOU what My Heart was feeling at that Moment but I was truly Blown away.. like this Piece of Art.. so Beautiful.. like this Flower Painting.. YOU are so Beautiful.. what More Words can I say to YOU that Night when my eyes met YOURS.. it seemed like YOU were never going to show UP.. but when YOU did Come from Nowhere.. I couldn't be angry any more.. I couldn't tell YOU I been waiting for YOU all this time because it was like this Painting of the Flower.. AMUSE and AMAZING to me.. I never thought that YOU would share.. I only thought you were just going to tell me YOU were going to leave again.. But it was that Night.. when YOU stood and YOU sat next to me.. and YOU opened my eyes.. and Opened my heart telling me to be More creative with myself.. I never knew what that meant.. what does it means to be More creative.. but when YOU start to Love in your Heart.. when I started to Love YOU more.. just Out of nowhere things came into my Mind and into my Heart.. just Like that NIGHT.. YOU showed me.. the value what it means to be More Creative with YOURSELF.. YOU showed me a Piece of Art.. and the Flower Painting.. I sat down confused.. did Not know what I am suppose to do with this Piece of Art.. am I suppose to eat this Piece of Art.. it is a Piece of Paper but when YOUR MIND and HEART.. and YOU open it with being with creative and YOU showed me that It starts with the true Meaning of Love.. teaching Me how to love YOU.. AM I getting good.. am I getting better with It because I really Love YOU.. I remember when YOU told me that YOU had Big Dreams and it made me Sad because I started to feel sorry for myself.. because I could Not dream.. I was at the MOST lowest Place.. started to think about the Situation but YOU have made me believe again and it started with Loving YOU.. maybe YOU felt that Night.. that I been asking for YOU.. when Your Both parents came.. and I would Open the Door.. I see the Car outside.. and I am so excited they came because I knew if they Came.. you could also come TOO.. but I would watch through the Window.. there was NO sign of YOU there with them.. I would be at the Door.. and Opened for your Father to walk in.. I felt so Little and so Small because Your Father is such a Great MAN of God.. who loves Us the Children and came to serve and to teach.. and I would be always asking for YOU.. and I knew that I could Not dream when I saw your Father.. the way he looked at me.. but I would still ask.. where are YOU.. where is the Daughter.. but.. always saying YOU are so busy.. it broke my Heart.. I guess your parents notice that we were getting just too close.. when the Days you came with your parents.. YOU would always show me the Different Pictures YOU drew and painted.. all these Flowers YOU would come.. and told me How long it has taken YOU to drew on the sketch paper.. and had to paint with the Oils.. mixing the Colors and the Mind and Heart of creating something.. Your Eyes would Lid UP when I would look and say.. it is so Beautiful.. this Flower Painting.. can I have this One too.. it is because I believe One day I can sell it.. and I am sure a Buyer will Love it to hang on the Walls to show Off who is the Great Oil Painter.. and I would watch you smile as I would share that.. we would both smile a lot when YOU came.. a BOX.. when YOU open.. all the brushes uses for the Oil Painting.. mirrors and the Note Book.. art sketch paper you would bring to show Me.. and I would sit and stare.. My Heart.. and I guess Your Parents started to notice that we were just too close.. but that very Night.. when YOU came with the Final Piece of Art and YOU Showed Me.. it was your heart that was giving me something.. I know that YOU may think that it may not be Much.. but what matter to me the Most are these little things I cherish in the Memories.. YOUR presences means everything.. your Smile and the Gestures YOU give.. and even when YOU show UP with the Piece of Art.. the Flower Paintings and YOU would show it to me.. telling me to Open my Mind.. to Open my Heart.. to be More creative.. I did Not know what YOU were talking about.. but it is the Giving of Your Heart which finally got to Me.. I was blinded of receiving just too much that I just did NOT care about the behind of what is happening in those curtain moments but when YOU told me.. the last day.. I knew that It meant something More.. when I saw the real YOU of the giving of your Heart.. it got me by Nowhere because it was the Day.. I saw you in the back of the car and Your Father

It was YOU who I was loving all this TIME.. asking For YOU.. when YOU father stood tall.. looking at me.. I would be asking for YOU first.. I never knew then but when I think of it Now.. it is because I been loving YOU.. just did Not want to show it and say it was true.. but it was on that very night.. when YOU sat next to me.. showing me the Final Piece of Art.. the Flower painting.. even though I thought you would come back soon.. when YOU spoke of the words.. to be more Creative.. to Open my eyes.. My MIND and My Heart.. I would sit that very night in the room.. the children were sleeping in the Beds.. but I could Not sleep that very Night.. I would be sitting on the top of the bed.. just LOOKING at the Final Piece of Art work.. the Flower Painting YOU gave me.. just trying to think about be Open for What.. what Happens when YOU open Your Heart.. and your Mind.. Open your eyes.. what happens next.. what does It means to be more creative.. and that is when I knew.. when YOU start to Love.. it is when YOU can truly show HOW you can express something in your Heart.. In your Mind and Open your eyes and be more creative with It.. as I saw this as I was looking at the Final Piece of Art Work of Yours.. I could Not help it but cried looking at it.. because I knew it my Heart.. this means good BYE right.. it means YOU are Never going to come back to this Orphan Home.. and I would cry in the silent of the NIGHT on the bed.. looking at this Piece of Art work of Yours.. my Heart was touched.. it drove me crazy because NOW I know what it means to Love YOU.. then How can YOU stop.. because YOU can Only Love the One who can truly show YOU how to Love.. or who Knows How to love.. and I wanted to Love YOU more.. if YOU are able to show me something that YOU love the Most.. that Means YOU know How to Love.. I want to love YOU because I know that a person who gives can receives too.. so I want to be the One to give it all now to YOU.. so that YOU can feel how much I love YOU.. that It may Not be too Much.. It may be so Small and simple but I do Love YOU.. How can I let YOU know how much I love YOU since Now YOU showed me that YOU can Love.. let me Love YOU.. as I am Looking at the Garden.. my eyes are filled with Tears.. I ache inside because I want to show YOU.. Not just show YOU but tell YOU.. How can I tell you something if I can't even show it to YOU.. that Is why I have come back to this Work shop.. I am here in the back of the Garden.. there is the back DOOR.. and a bed of Ground.. I am here looking at the Flowers which are growing because YOU have given me something to Love and to dream.. TO BE more Creative.. to Open my Mind.. to Open my Heart.. it is YOU who showed me and taught me HOW to Love and I just want to give it ALL back to YOU by saying I love YOU..I am looking at the door.. as I open the Door.. walking into the Work shop.. the Smell of the Place.. I have missed this place so Much.. but there is One thing that is Missing.. It is YOU.. only if YOU were here with me.. the painting on the wall.. and How all the things have set in and Now ready to Open the shop once again.. but.. when YOU were here with Me.. and how you came.. YOU were going to school.. I remember YOU came to the Work Shop as a Part time.. and wanted to help me.. I remember YOU wanted to be a Doctor.. always had a Big Dream to help people and save many lives and go out on the Mission trips to help the Poor and needy people.. and telling me these things.. I was filled in awe of YOU.. and YOU asked me if I remembered You.. of course it was long ago when I saw YOU as a Young girl.. but it seemed like YOU have never forgotten me.. I remember I would ask of YOU to come and help me at this Work Shop and I was selling Flowers in this Work Shop.. never imagined that I would meet you.. you were grown and more matured going into the University.. to become a Doctor.. as I would hire YOU to work with Me.. YOU asked me.. do I remember this One Picture.. as I would stand on the Other side of the counter.. It was a drawing picture.. and YOU showed me.. and when I got hold.. my both hands grabbed the Art sketch paper and it was a drawing of a Flower.. It made me jump when I saw the drawing picture of the Sun Flower.. and I turn to look back.. and On the wall.. I would look at the same sketch paper and It was drawn by YOU.. and I remember YOU turn to look at the wall.. and I remember YOU would walk closer to the wall and YOU would look at the art sketch paper.. the same Flower.. the Sun Flower YOU drew for me.. and I see your hand touch over the paper and YOUR Head turns to look at me and I would tell you.. Yes.. I do remember this Paper.. the Art sketch paper.. YOU gave it to me when YOU were a lot younger.. do YOU NOT remember the time.. and as I would stand alone in this Work Shop.. I am standing and staring at the wall.. the Art Sketch Paper is on the wall still.. the Same Flower.. the Sun Flower YOU drew for me.. as I stood in the silent.. the two lines of tears would roll down my eyes.. my hand touch my chest.. It hurts right here.. I wish that YOU knew this Heart of Mine.. that it hurts when I stand here alone.. without YOU here.. it feels like even I can take a look at that Art sketch paper.. watching it here alone.. it Hurts me More because all I needed is YOU.. all I need is YOU to be here but I know that I stand alone right Now.. but I need you here with me right Now.. as I look at the Art sketch paper.. and I would walk closer to the wall.. my hand touch over the Art sketch paper.. I miss YOU.. without YOU I feel like My Heart hurts.. why couldn't YOU cut my chest Open.. why couldn't YOU get rid of My Heart.. Now I feel like I am sick again.. DO I needs to go as a Patient to visit YOU.. but this TIME.. I am Not going to leave alone.. I want to leave with My Heart with YOU.. so that I don't need to feel this Way.. it Hurts.. It hurts me so bad because I am missing YOU right Now.. why did YOU have to come at the Most hardest times of my Life.. why did YOU have to come and Now.. take my smiles away.. as I close both of my eyes.. I would go back as a Young Boy.. I am crying.. sitting on the ground.. receiving a Letter from a relative of Mine.. the Letter speaks about how my family Died in the burning of the fire House.. My family was very poor and they could not take care of me.. as a Relative holding my hand takes me away.. I am crying and crying walking away from the farm House.. My Heart keeps on breaking.. why.. why does My Life has to be so Sad.. why have to be so broken.. now.. I just received a Letter from the same relative who was holding my hand.. taking me away and telling me I am Now an Orphan Boy.. as I read the Letter.. I learned how to read from the Lady who owns this House.. as I was sitting.. I hear foot steps walking.. and it stops.. as I lifted UP to take a LOOK.. YOU are so Beautiful.. in a red dress.. in a red shoes.. I see YOU stand there.. and YOU would sit right next to Me.. why did YOU have to come at this Point.. I was reading a Letter.. which It broken me down into tears.. having NO more family.. being abandoned and Broke.. having NO future.. I see YOU coming Out of No where.. but Like an Angel YOU sat next to Me.. and I remember YOU would be asking why I be crying.. and I would give YOU the Letter.. if you could read.. I give you the permission for YOU to read what the relative wrote to me.. and I would be crying in silent.. as the MOON came Out.. and I can hear YOU breathe hard.. I know.. that is how I felt when I first read the Letter.. My Heart keeps on hurting Me.. It hurts me more because Now I have told YOU a secret that I just never told any one.. I am angry for being taken away.. and how I am abandoned by the family.. I am dirty and poor.. I have NO body to talk too.. and I would hear YOU trying to cheer me UP.. and I wanted to run away.. DID NOT be a part of this Orphan Boy.. but then where would I go if I leave here.. and I do remember at the Moment.. YOU pulled Out something and YOU showed me the Art Sketch Paper.. and YOU be sharing How you are taking an Art class.. and to see your drawing.. as I turn.. My hands grab hold unto and I would look at the Picture of the Art sketch paper.. I would look at the Sun Flower.. finger points WHY this Kind of flower you drew.. I remember you be sharing that is your Most Favorite Flower in the world.. that when YOU feel so sad.. YOU would go to the garden.. and YOU would go see this Flower.. and Hoping that I too can smile once again.. as I would look at this Picture.. I started to cry some More.. it hurts Me.. I have NO more family now.. NO ONE I can call Mother or Father any More.. this Picture.. How can it help me at this Point of my Life when I have lost every thing.. but YOU told me.. that NOW.. I may not see it or understand it.. but later On.. I will get it.. when time heals my Heart.. I will start to love this Flower and will Love once again.. and Yes.. YOU were right.. It did Not take me too long to get back on my feet once again.. I would be looking at this Picture.. wondering.. where can I find this Flower.. where can I go to see this Flower.. for a long time I been thinking about this Flower because I grew to Love it.. why.. because It came from YOU.. YOU remind me of SUN FLOWER so much.. the More YOU think about it.. the More you see it.. YOU grow more into it.. and I would find a Way.. to make a Mission to search about this Flower.. and I would start.. as I am standing alone.. this Work SHOP.. I would only think about YOU.. I wanted to share how much I love YOU.. and that is why I opened this Work Shop.. dedicating the Flower.. when YOU feel like YOU are dead inside.. the Hope to smile Once more.. Your Courage and How YOU helped me to bounce back.. I wanted

Time.. but when the Door opened and YOU came in.. the early years.. I saw YOU.. but of course I did Not recognize YOU at first.. I remember it is when YOU showed me the Drawing.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing of the Sun Flower.. I knew that It was YOU.. I did Not want YOU to come close to me at first.. because I knew what was in my Heart.. I did Not want you to work with me at first because what if I love YOU more.. I will get hurt because I knew what was in my Heart.. loving YOU is the Most beautiful thing but also it hurts me at the same time.. I have a Broken Heart already.. of losing my family on the Burning of the Farm House.. when YOU stopped visiting me.. I would think.. maybe YOU did Not want to get close to Me.. was it because I gave you the Letter.. was it because I shared you a Letter about the passing of the family.. wasn't it YOU who be asking to see what the Letter was written about.. I only wanted you to know a glimpse so that YOU can at least understand me where I am coming from.. I just did Not get it at first because I wanted you to be close.. that is why I opened UP to you and to show you the side where I would crumble at the Most.. but.. I think I made the mistake of revealing too much of the Downer side what I felt at that Point.. but.. I do remember.. watching YOU looking at the wall.. I would be holding the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of the Sun Flower.. I would freeze from the Inside as my eyes saw the Same drawing.. of course I dedicated all my Heart and energy because I loved YOU.. I loved YOU because YOU came at the most hardest and difficult times of my Life.. trying to cheer Me up.. it was so Beautiful.. and so moving at my Heart.. NO ONE has ever down.. to show the care and the tender side which NO ONE wanted to give.. crying alone.. I would be sitting on the bed.. looking at the Drawing.. the Art sketch paper.. the SUN FLOWER.. NO ONE has ever done this for me.. why was it YOU.. why did YOU even care.. and I wanted to give Back to share back.. to let someone who feels like me to smile Once more.. what you gave it something that NO MONEY can buy.. as ALL the Boys were sleeping in One room.. I sat alone.. leaning on the wall.. could NOT sleep that Night.. but kept on looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing of the SUN FLOWER.. I wanted to know.. what does IT means to love.. I want to love and choose to love instead.. I don't want to be hurt or be hurting Others any more.. and I wanted to have answers of the One Question that was in my Heart.. and It was with this ONE SIMPLE picture but it came from YOUR Heart that answered everything.. as I would look at the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing of the Sun Flower.. I knew that I had to do something.. that One day YOU will know that I love YOU.. maybe not at the Point but some day YOU will know how much I love YOU by sharing what YOU have given Me and what you have done to Me.. as I would look.. the Work Shop.. Looking at the Paper.. the Art sketch.. the drawing of the Sun Flower.. back is the Garden.. and Now.. there are More than Thousand Sun Flowers in the Back.. in the Garden.. ready to be given and ready to be sold.. when YOU came into the Work Shop.. I was blown into pieces because YOU looked a lot like someone who I loved.. but did NOT wanted to ask you if YOU were.. because YOU could of been someone else but NOT YOU.. when YOU shared the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing of the Sun Flower and I turn to face the Wall.. the same drawing YOU given me when I was a young Boy.. who was hurting.. who just read a Letter of the Lost and dead family.. YOU were like an Angel who gave me Life to live again.. I do remember when YOU asked me if YOU could work here.. I told YOU NO at first.. I did Not want you to come close because I know that something could happen.. I wanted you close deep in my Heart.. but.. I did not want you too close.. I am already Hurt.. I do not want to be hurt again but I did miss YOU so much that My Heart was crying inside.. I did Not want to tell YOU this at all.. because I did Not want to see you go.. I remember YOU told me that YOU will be back.. and I had to let YOU go that day you came.. YOU just do not know how heavy I felt inside.. It broke me down into tears again.. asking myself.. why did I let YOU go like this.. what if YOU will never show UP.. what if I will not see YOU again.. what if I end up dying like this instead.. and I just could not help myself and blamed myself for letting you walk away like this.. what if YOU never come back to me.. and I be dumb like this of letting YOU go when I know deep inside I love YOU.. I was just too afraid to let YOU IN because I loved YOU just too much.. I am looking at you.. I just could not believe that YOU are now a doctor.. a Heart surgeon.. of course I came here to get my Heart to be removed.. I wanted another Heart Surgeon because.. Can you handle doing the surgery.. planting into a different Heart.. a Heart from someone else.. What would you do if I don't recognize YOU any more.. what will you do if I start to love another whose Heart has been loving.. But.. I don't want to lose YOU.. How can I live without YOU.. How can I breathe if I can't love YOU any more.. but all this Time.. I have been only loving YOU.. YOU are the Only One who I been missing.. I been crying over looking at the empty wall.. walking into the Work Shop.. I been missing YOU.. missing your Presence.. just missing your smile.. can YOU handle me.. putting me into the deep sleep.. as YOU cut my chest wide open.. I know that YOU are more experience in this kind of work.. If you are the Doctor.. because I asked for a well experienced.. well established with multiple years of experience.. I don't want my Heart to be broken.. I don't want my Heart to be dropped on the floor.. It has been with me all of my life.. ever since I was born.. ever since I was a young Boy.. when I first saw YOU.. I cried.. I started to cry after YOU left.. YOU promised me that YOU will be back.. and I felt my Heart.. I did not know what it was at the first touch.. I just could not stop.. but I would kept on crying through the Night.. that is when I could Not sleep.. I kept on thinking of YOU.. over and over.. turning and tossing.. all of the children at the Orphan House.. they were all sleeping good.. I sat on top of the bed.. wondering.. why couldn't I sleep like the Other children.. I do remember you gave me your picture.. I saw both of your parents with YOU.. and I do remember.. being so Poor.. without any parents.. living with bunch of poor children.. who had No homes.. only could gather with each other.. I looked at YOU.. I would smile.. I could never smile living with bunch of these children.. they were all dirty like Me.. pushing and shoving.. kicking and screaming.. and there was No peace.. When I heard the Old Woman.. the Care taker says to the Children.. a Missionary family is coming.. to help Us.. to help educate and give Us books to read.. and toys to play with.. of course.. it was YOU and your Parents who came.. I knew that I should of stopped myself right when I met YOU.. I don't know why I asked for your picture that day.. before YOU were leaving.. and as I was crying.. I wanted to be a Part.. so I asked for YOUR picture.. when YOU told me that YOU are going to give me One.. and That smile.. you pulled out and told me that this is the Only One.. the best Picture you have taken.. I saw your Smile.. and YOU told me.. behind the Picture is your Address.. and If I wanted a friend to share my Heart.. to write YOU a Letter.. I do remember watching YOU leave.. Your Father and Mother holding your Hands as YOU leave.. I would be waving with tears in my eyes.. I felt so Alone.. I felt so cold.. I felt so Poor.. and I would fall both on my knees.. and Weeping as I take a Look at your Picture.. why do you have to leave so Soon.. Are you going to come to visit me and the children.. and both hands holding the side of the Picture.. YOU are so Beautiful.. and I be looking with tears.. wiping my tears with my hand.. I feel so Alone.. I feel so sad because My Heart.. is it going to break like this.. My Heart keeps on breaking because YOU know how much I love you right.. and I do remember that Night.. I just could not sleep.. and sitting on the top of the Bed.. I pulled out Your Picture.. and I would look.. and I do remember what YOU said.. to write YOU when I needed a friend.. and I would get Out of the Bed and I walked to the desk.. and I sat down to write.. as I am laying.. I am looking at YOU.. as a Doctor.. as the Heart Surgeon.. I should of Not come to this Hospital.. What are you going to do with My Heart.. I don't want you to take my Heart away.. if I can't love you any more.. I rather ask for another Doctor.. I guess the main reason is to forget YOU.. and Let my Heart be taken away and Let someone else have My Heart.. But when I saw YOU.. if YOU were another Doctor.. another Heart Surgeon.. then I think it would been so much easier to go with the proceed to do the surgery but.. I feel like My Heart Now just can't go.. it has been such a Long time since I saw YOU.. and for the longest Time.. I have been missing YOU.. but Now.. I just can't give My Heart away with YOU becoming the Doctor.. the Heart Surgeon.. I been to the Work Shop lately.. and started a Project.. to rebuild that Work Shop.. it has been broken and abandoned for a Long time.. I just could Not work there any more.. for some reason I would see YOU.. even though YOU were never there.. there would be a Lot of pictures I would put on the walls.. that is before YOU left.. taking many pictures of YOU.. a lots of laugh.. lots of crying but more smiles On my face when YOU were there with Me.. I wanted to go back.. I started to miss you ever since I left because I kept on thinking of YOU.. I would go

Few more times.. and I started to think about YOU at the Work Shop.. what If you would be back.. even though I knew that YOU would never come around.. but I kept on thinking.. YOU could just visit.. but if YOU walked into the Work Shop all Broken and Abandoned.. then I know that YOU will Not come around ever again.. because NO ONE knows what will happen next.. so I started to make a Plan.. to remodel.. and to re build that Building.. just in case One day.. some day soon you can come.. and YOU will know that it has never been broken down.. as I gathered some workers.. spend days.. spend weeks and into the months.. new paintings.. putting UP the fences.. and even started to go back into the garden.. planting new seeds to bring into the life.. after it was all completed.. and the work shop was back on business.. I went in to work again.. of course there was something missing as I started to work in that shop.. it was YOU.. it felt like I cannot never get YOU back.. since you left long ago.. How can I bring YOU back if YOU have already left.. I would look at the wall.. the Wall with Your Pictures.. many of the Pictures I would post to share.. as I would start to look at Your Pictures.. Just memories of YOU came flashing through my Mind.. I knew that if I wanted to continue to run this Business.. I needed to get Rid of My Heart.. I knew that only if My Heart goes.. I can work in this Work Shop without missing YOU so Much.. that is the Only way I knew that I can continue.. that is when I decided to go into the surgery.. that I wanted to let My Heart to go.. I asked for the Best Doctor.. the Heart Surgeon with the Best experience.. of course never thought that It would be YOU walking into this Room.. even though I want YOU to do the Surgery.. I just can't Lose YOU.. after I see YOU now.. and How well YOU are in Life.. I think I just can't let My Heart go.. and I am looking at YOU.. I do need My Heart to be replaced.. but what would happen if I don't love you any More.. I am sure Now you are doing good with another Man.. can YOU still do the Heart surgery.. Now the Person who is going to exchange with my Heart comes into the Room and sits on another Bed.. and I turn to look at the Person.. I just can't believe it.. the Man turns to look at me.. I am not sure if I know this Man but the Man looks at me.. He is the friend who has taken YOU away.. I am wondering.. why is this Man in the same bed.. He wants his Heart to be removed just Like me.. and I am wondering.. I don't want His Heart.. I rather keep My Heart.. He has a Broken Heart too.. and I look at YOU.. I am wondering.. what is going On and Now YOU are telling me.. the relationship has ended on Both.. and that YOU are single.. and I am thinking.. Am I suppose to be happy or suppose to be Sad.. are YOU sad.. is that WHY you have become a Heart Surgeon.. WHO has Not been loving YOU well.. YOU know that If YOU are removing all Kinds of Hearts.. is it because someone has broken YOUR HEART or are you breaking Hearts and switching Hearts to different People.. because I don't want Another Broken Heart.. can I have YOUR HEART instead.. How about YOU can do the surgery on Me and I want to Have YOUR HEART in me so that I can say to YOUR HEART.. I can Love you more than any.. I know that YOU have already Broken Me Heart Once.. I don't need another Broken Heart in Me.. that is why I want Your Heart.. I know that YOUR HEART does Not break because YOU fix Hearts.. that is why I loved YOU for a Long time.. as I would pull out the Picture.. and I am Looking at the Picture when YOU were YOUNG.. next to the Picture is the First Letter you wrote me.. and I would open the Letter and I would turn to YOU and I would read it Out loud.. this is what YOU wrote Me.. when I could Not sleep.. when I met YOU the first time.. and I asked for YOUR Picture.. YOU gave me this Picture.. with Your Address in the back asking me.. If I needed a Friend that I can write YOU any time.. so I wrote.. and This is what YOU wrote me and I cried.. as I am looking at YOU.. my tears are flowing down my eyes and I started to read to you with tears rolling down my eyes.. and I would say to YOU.. this was why I started to Love YOU.. you wrote when I was at the Most Lowest of the time of my Life and has fixed this Broken Heart by telling me all of this.. I been waiting for YOU.. but YOU never came.. the door was never locked because it is YOU who I been waiting for.. I would be working in the Flower Shop.. waiting if YOU would ever show UP.. but you would never come.. It broke my Heart because what If YOU would stop by.. even just for Once.. I was Not asking for a long time.. even just for few seconds.. it would been enough for Me.. but YOU never came.. working in the Flower Shop without YOU was the most difficult thing for Me because I would be waiting.. even though I knew deep in my Heart that YOU would never show UP.. just hoping that it would be you who would knock on the door.. asking for me to open that door in the Work Shop.. in that flower Work Shop.. I would cry many nights of thinking of YOU.. just remembering all of the memories we shared together in that Shop.. I would watch YOU with the camera.. lights flashes as YOU would take pictures of the Flowers.. asking me about how it grew.. the place where I would planted in the soil.. I would even take you to the spots.. back in the garden.. where YOU would see the flowers in full bloom.. matured and sprung UP for YOU to take a look.. YOU would smile.. I would watch YOU holding that camera in front.. as I would watch YOU looking through the camera Lens and taking pictures of the flowers back in the Garden.. I wanted to Hold YOU.. I wanted to Pull you closer to me.. around my arms I wanted to feel YOU inside.. but I would stop myself of getting closer to YOU.. I wanted to get close.. I wanted to walk and stand beside YOU.. just to feel for seconds.. How you would feel in my arms.. How would you breathe.. How about the sound of the beating of Your Heart.. can I hear it.. will my Heart also make the same sound of Your Heart.. I wanted to get close.. just to see how it would feel.. YOU in my arms.. I wanted you near.. I wanted you close.. I was so close because I would walk but I would stop to step back.. It hurts me because I wanted to feel YOU in my arms.. But I just could not get closer.. Because I knew that YOU would push me to say Back Off.. Just Now How it feels.. Just thinking about YOU.. brings so Much Joy and happiness.. I would smile a lot.. My Heart be moving in a way I just can't control.. my emotions just wants to pour Out to YOU.. I want to stop.. I can't control myself because It has been Hard lately.. Missing YOU is so Hard.. at the same Time.. it brings me a lot of tears.. that I can't stop myself crying.. I don't want to show YOU any more tears.. but It hurts to know that YOU don't want to come close.. so Far.. so Near.. so Close.. the distance between Us.. leaving me to Be hurt.. missing YOU all the time.. but I want to get close.. NO Matter How I feel.. as long as it is YOU.. I will always Love YOU.. don't ask me why do I keep on hurting myself but still loves YOU.. as I am sitting on the Chair.. I am looking at Your Picture.. it is YOU when YOU were with me at the Flower Shop.. holding a flower in Your Hand.. with such a Beautiful Smile.. I remember that it was the day I wanted to show YOU the New Flowers that has been reached the Full Bloom stage.. it was back in the Garden.. the Same camera you were using to take many pictures of the flowers.. I would ask YOU.. take one of the Flowers from the Bed in the back of this Garden.. I watched you lower yourself.. grabbed and pulled the Flower Out.. and telling me that it is this One.. that it is the Most Beautiful One.. Your Favorite and I do remember leading YOU back into the Flower Work Shop.. YOU were standing by the wall.. and Holding the flower in your Hand.. I would have the Camera in my hands.. My eye would look through the lens of the Camera.. I would see YOU.. my finger stopped at the Button.. because what if this be the last picture I could take from this Camera.. this Fear came all over me.. shaking and trembling from the Inside.. I stopped my finger to press.. YOU were wondering why I could not click the Button.. My Heart would skip.. trying to find if there is a Beat.. I would take a deep breathe and my finger presses the Button and the light switches and it takes the Picture of YOU.. when I put the Camera Down.. I am looking at the Wall.. in the Flower Work Shop.. I only see the wall.. I don't see YOU there.. and with me is the Same Picture.. it was the last time I took the picture of YOU because the Next day.. YOU told me that YOU are not going to work with me at the Flower Shop.. that YOU have find someone that YOU love.. and that YOU are going with Him.. and I felt my world turn upside down.. I felt that everything be crumbling.. I saw YOU leave as the Door closes behind me.. I would sit on the Floor.. I would cry Loud and wail More.. I just couldn't control these emotions when it is torn apart.. I would Beat with my hand on my Chest.. I would Hit it so Hard.. I just couldn't stop hitting my Chest.. wanting to Pull my Heart out.. It hurts me because all I see is YOU.. YOU leaving me behind and I am left alone at the Flower Work Shop.. everything began to fall apart.. I started to drink a lot.. heavy into drinking.. crash and burn.. falling apart and falling down.. I just don't wanted to get UP any more.. I just couldn't handle this Kind of Pain.. it was killing me from the Inside.. How can I erase this Pain that is eating me from the Inside.. How can I get rid of this Kind of Hellish Pain.. I just wanted to Die.. for years I felt this way.. I felt like I wanted to give UP.. but.. for some reason.. if I truly love YOU.. I know that I needs to get back UP and try to live.. try to live the best I can.. so that One day I am able to see YOU again and the Day I see YOU.. I will never

Shop.. as I walked inside the Work Shop.. I would stand there alone.. LOOKING at the Wall where YOU would stand.. I would look at the empty Wall.. looking at the picture of YOU holding.. the same spot.. you were standing with a smile holding the flower.. the Last time I saw YOU is when I took this Picture.. it hurts Me more.. I would.. the Flower Work Shop was dark and I would be standing alone.. crying looking at the Picture of YOU.. which it was the last time YOU stood by this Wall.. and I just can't let YOU go.. WHY is it me who has to let it Go.. why is it YOU who has to hurt Me.. why can't I ever hurt you and I would look at the Wall.. where YOU would stand the last time and I would scream because my Heart.. It wanted to shatter into pieces.. WHY did YOU have to leave me for someone else.. WHY can't YOU ever know how much I love YOU.. why don't you see me.. WHY can't you see me as the Person who loves you the Most.. and I would again cry.. looking at the wall.. after looking at the Picture of YOU where YOU once stood by this wall.. I would fall to the ground.. and I just can't.. why can't I just let YOU GO.. it is killing me so Bad.. why can't I let YOU GO.. what is it about YOU holding unto me.. like a stronghold.. and I would cry loud.. wailing.. hitting my hand against my chest.. It hurts me just too much because I want to be loved by YOU.. why can't YOU see me for once.. HOW ABOUT ME.. you know that I can love YOU better.. YOU know that I can love YOU more.. I can even love you stronger.. just please give me a chance.. just one chance.. as I am waiting in the Room in the clinic Office.. I know that I may not live for Long.. because My Heart is broken.. It has been shattered into many little pieces.. YOU have broken my Heart.. If I can't fix my Heart.. what am I going to do with this Shattered of pieces broken Heart that is in me.. If I can't fix it.. Maybe the Doctor can help me to fix IT.. what if the Doctor can't fix my Heart.. I am going to ask the Doctor to go me a Surgery.. because what am I going to do with this Broken Shattered Heart.. I can at least donate it to someone else.. give me a New Heart.. someone else can take my Place.. can Have this Heart.. that someone else can Love YOU instead because I know that I can't.. I don't even know where YOU at so how can I love YOU when YOU are NO where to be found.. and I am lost somewhere.. and I would be sitting on this Chair.. LOOKING at the Picture of YOU.. I sit in silence just thinking of the Flower Work Shop.. I want to go back with YOU.. can YOU please go back with me to this Flower work Shop.. I want to live again.. I want to feel that I am alive again.. I want to breathe again because without YOU.. just look at me at this Point in my Life without YOU.. and as I am looking at the picture.. waiting for the doctor to come into this room.. I am looking at your Picture and speaking to the Picture.. the door Opens but it stops.. I am thinking.. maybe it is another patient who just came into the wrong room and I would open my Mouth.. as I am looking at the picture of YOU.. can we please go back to the Flower Work Shop.. do YOU know that I am still there.. I just could Not move on because I would think about.. what If.. Just in case YOU show UP one day.. what If you come.. what if YOU change your Mind.. what if I come across Your Mind one night.. One Day.. what If you miss Me.. how about if YOU love me.. Not sure why I would think of it that Way but what if you show UP.. I had many chances to leave that Flower work shop.. My friends came.. trying to convince me.. telling me to leave it behind me.. let it be my History.. and I would try to leave that Flower Work Shop.. but always in the back of my Head.. I would be thinking of YOU.. if I do leave.. what if YOU show UP when I do really leave.. then I know that I can't never see YOU again.. I don't want that to ever happen because I miss YOU and I love YOU.. that is why I just can't let it go now.. because I love YOU just too much.. I have been there.. just waiting for the Door to be opened.. for YOU to knock on the door and when I open the door to that Flower Work shop and WHEN I open to see who it is.. I wanted to smile to see YOU there.. standing there.. just giving me even few seconds of your presences.. just to say I love YOU.. just to say I missed YOU.. or to say welcome back.. because I just can't let YOU GO.. Because I never stopped loving YOU.. even now I love you still.. I been waiting so that I can tell YOU how much I love YOU.. as I look up.. I hear the door closed.. and I am thinking.. this whole time the door was opened.. I wonder who it is who hear me speaking to Your Picture.. I wonder who it is.. and the door Opens.. my hand opens and the picture falls to the ground because it is YOU who is standing by the door.. That YOU are the Doctor.. My Doctor there.. I am waiting at the Doctor's office.. I am getting sick.. something has happened to my Heart.. I am wondering if My Heart is broken.. as I am sitting down.. waiting for the Doctor.. I am holding your Picture in my Hand.. I have been looking at this Picture for a Long time.. since I have lost you.. and it is the Picture of YOU.. you are standing by the Wall.. with a beautiful Smile.. I gave YOU a flowers and YOU are holding in your hand.. showing me in the picture of you.. I was so happy when I gave you those flowers in the work shop.. I surprised you that night.. it was before I wanted to ask YOU out.. I wanted to ask if we can be lovers.. and before the questions came about.. and I gave YOU the flowers.. I would watch you holding in your hand.. and I saw you smelling the flowers.. it touched my Heart.. Your nose so close and I saw both of your eyes closing when YOU brought the Flowers closer to your nose.. and right after.. you opened your eyes.. I be holding the camera.. zooming in to get a closer Picture.. I asked if YOU could just smile for me.. YOU are the Most Beautiful when I see you smile.. so I asked.. looking through the lens of the Camera.. I saw you holding the flowers closer and my finger presses and it clicked to take that Picture.. I would put the camera down and I came closer to YOU and I wanted to say but.. YOU told me Not to say it.. Because YOU knew what I was going to say and told me that YOU already have some one who you love.. and that I knew the person well.. I would just stand there.. No words to tell YOU because.. I have been holding this for a long time.. I wanted to tell YOU for a long time.. but I guess holding too long.. and I just could not hold it back.. I want to know.. DO you love Him.. do you think that man can love you more than Me.. if He can love you more than me.. I can back off and just pretend I never told you this.. I want to know what if I can love you More.. I know that I can love you where YOUR Heart can be truly touched.. I know that I can love you because I am already loving YOU.. but pushing me away is not going to solve anything.. but if you know that He can love you more and can make you more happier.. than I have nothing more to say.. But How about my Heart.. how about the Love I have for YOU.. will you please consider this before you can.. and it is the Picture before I wanted to ask.. but I do remember you be telling me that YOU love some one else.. I wanted to walk out of that work shop.. I wanted to leave at that moment because My Heart couldn't handle this kind of pain.. and to heal it takes a long time for me to get over it.. but.. I felt like I should stay.. that may be you would change your mind.. so I just stood and waited.. but I saw YOU looking at me.. giving me back the flowers and I saw YOU walking out of that work shop.. I heard the door behind me shutting down.. holding the flowers in my hands.. why am I holding these flowers for.. I am the one who gave you these flowers.. these are not for me and when I turned my head to look back.. I stood there.. the door was closed and YOU left.. I wanted to cry.. but I wanted to hold my own emotions in and I kept it inside for a while before I wanted to lead it out.. I stood there in the silence.. holding the flowers in my hands.. just did not know what to do any more.. as I am sitting on the chair.. just waiting for the doctor to call my name.. I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. holding the flowers and just smiling.. Now I am thinking.. and wondering.. what if I did Not say anything.. did Not mention and just stood there and smiled back.. I know that YOU would not left the work shop that night.. you could of still be there with me.. but would I ever be happy just watching you on the side line.. just loving YOU alone.. while YOU have someone who loves YOU and you be loving him back.. What am I suppose to do if I am just another shadow of passing through.. It would be breaking my heart into pieces.. I remember I open my hands and the Flowers all fell to the floor.. hitting the ground.. I dropped to my knees.. beating against my chest and started to cry loud.. wailing louder because of the pains of hitting me so Hard that night.. I did not even leave that work shop.. I would be crying for hours.. just feeling the pain deep within me.. sitting by the wall.. I would be leaning.. and I would sit until the Sun would rise Up.. I just could not work any more.. and wanted to take some time off.. but I could not get up.. sitting there.. looking at the flowers all over the floor of the ground.. I can't believe that this Hurts.. it hurts me much more.. why did I even mentioned if it going to end UP like this.. hurting me like this.. this ache.. this pain of just loving you.. why can't you love me back.. I would yell.. out loud.. why can't you love me back.. what must I do for YOU to notice HOW much I love YOU.. and I would sit still.. could not get up.. just did not want to move.. I did not want to eat anything.. even though I was hungry.. but I sat there.. leaning against the wall.. just thinking

MAH MAH.. I am looking at the rain falling down the Sky.. looking across.. I see the Door where I sleep.. it is opened.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is inside that ROOM.. I needs to go and get it.. My Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. Your Picture.. the Art Sketch Paper.. when I was Young.. the paper that YOU gave to Me.. I had to get the permission from the Artist Boy who drew that Picture of YOU.. I remember he told Me.. if He gets Caught drawing the Picture.. If a Guard catches or Any Officials who works for Your Father the King.. PEH HA.. he can be Put to death.. but He went and drew that Picture for me.. I saw Him get caught.. He was dragged into the Prison.. I could Not believe what has happened to that BOY.. who died for drawing the Picture of YOU.. I remember the Night I went to visit Him. My Father was able to get Me into the Palace.. being the Head servant who was serving YOU.. I went with my Father.. I saw Him siting alone.. and it just broke my Heart.. He told me.. it is because it is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. it is because YOU are MAH MAH.. the HAWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. any ways He was poor.. living as a Homeless street.. as I hold his hands to thank HIM.. he looked at me and told me.. I have A Dream.. as Long as I have that Dream to conqueror.. to be by YOUR SIDE.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. who I loved and to serve.. and to Protect.. and told me.. GO ALL IN.. even if it gets me Here like this Young Boy.. it be worth Dying for as long as I can try my Best to get there.. and I cried Loud as He told Me.. Chase my Dreams and Let it come true.. Believe In It.. and something BIG.. GRAND can happen in the end.. I saw the Guards with the Keys.. Unlocks.. AND It was His time to GO.. I screamed Let HIM LIVE.. He did Not do any wrong.. what is Wrong to and the Guard struck me.. I fell and saw that Boy being carried away.. I get UP.. and I ran.. ran after the Guards WHO was taking HIM away.. my Father ran after ME.. grabbed me and told Me.. I will see him again.. and I stood there crying.. as the Boy disappeared into the Night.. and It was raining.. I saw the RAIN falling and I would Cry Out in Loud Voice wailing.. Crown Princess.. WHY is Life Not so fair for the POOR people.. small people like Us.. it is no Fair and I am wiping my tears with my Arms.. and as I am sitting down.. I am crying Looking at the open Door to the Small room.. that Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is a gift.. the Price has been paid.. some one had to die just to draw that Picture of YOU for Me and It died.. and the Older Man.. the Master.. he has the stick.. holding it UP.. and there is the stick on the ground next to me.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Cost of Losing a One's Life.. and it is YOU.. My Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH and I grab the stick with my Hand and PULL myself UP.. and my eyes looking at the Older MAN.. and he yells Out Loud and swings the Stick at me and I would go back.. the waters makes me slide back and I would yell in rage and I jump UP with the stick In my hand and I swing the stick and it hits the Old Man's stick. and I jump Up again and swing right left left right and I land on the ground and did a back Kick and Hit the Master on the middle.. and I jump Up again swinging the stick in my hand with full of Rage.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and swinging the stick in my hand left right right left and It knocks the Stick Off his Hand.. and I do a round house kick to knock him on the Ground.. the Older Man.. He is laying on the ground.. as the rain Keeps on falling down.. and I stand holding the stick in my hand.. I am crying.. Just Missing YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. but Look at me.. I am here stuck Out here.. ALL I want to do is just to see you for ONCE.. But the situation is Not helping me to go anywhere at this Point.. WHAT DO I do Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Older man.. the Master gets UP slowly.. and he stands looking at me.. and I see he leaving out of sight.. as I would LOOK at the Open Door to the ROOM.. the Small room where I rest.. and I go inside.. and I am looking.. the Art Sketch Paper.. and drawing Picture of YOU.. this Means everything to me.. I remember putting this Art Sketch Paper.. drawing Picture of YOU.. Putting in back of Me.. walking In the Snow.. all alone.. Not knowing where I was going to go but I even had to leave the Garden.. I told myself.. that I am going to go where YOU are.. Crown Princes.. as I would grab hold onto the Paper.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I told YOU through Looking at this Picture.. Someday I will get Close.. even though I may be far right Now.. I know that One day I will see YOU.. I will be close so that YOU know how much I love YOU.. and the Sword.. by the time I see YOU.. I am going to be holding a Sword in my hand.. and the Sword I hold.. it is going to Protect YOU.. my Sword that I have with me will always protect and also defend for YOU.. I will be a man of my words who will do whatever it takes just to be close.. even though I may not able to say the Words I love YOU.. I know that the day will come where YOU will give me the Permission to say it.. as the Next Day Arrives.. the Older man.. the Master.. He put a DUMMY made of WOOD.. Carved it and gave me the WOODEN SWORD STICK to practice.. every Night.. I would walk Out side.. He would should Me the PIN POINTERS where to Hit the Hot Spot to destroy my enemies.. I would stand Alone.. and Most nights the MOON came UP from the Sky.. the Older man.. the Master would behind.. leaving a distance.. as I would hit the DUMMY WOOD with the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I would be looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would hold to close to my Chest.. and I would kiss the forehead of the WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. and I would walk outside into the Night.. LOOKING at the MOON.. I would say.. I will see YOU SOON.. it may seems like a long time Now.. the Older MAN.. the Master tells me.. it be a lot sooner because I am thinking of YOU.. that I have a Dream to Love YOU.. but to Protect.. and to defend YOU for a cause for this Nation you are building.. that I know I needs to be there to see YOU as My True QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU as you take your place of Your Father's Spot.. to RULE this NATION as the CONQUEROR.. I want to be there to see with my own eyes before I die.. I can't not delay.. because I want to see YOU soon.. and I would be thinking of YOU.. thinking of protecting YOU and also defending Your Nation I would hit and hit.. the Wooden Sword Stick would break.. because I would hit it very Hard.. the Older man.. the Master would carve another WOODEN SWORD STICK for me.. He is just sitting there being busy Carving all day Long.. I do remember like My Father.. who was watching me.. I would be holding the Bow.. strings I would Pull back.. many times I would pull the strings back and forth.. I would use the Arrow.. the back of the end of the arrows.. I would aim and I would release the strings of the Bow.. it would break.. He would be very busy pulling the Strings into the Bow.. watching me Shoot the Arrows.. many flies to different sides.. I kept On practice shooting.. even my hands be hurting.. Just like Holding this WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I hit many times on the Wooden DUMMY.. But I never gave UP on the Dreams of Loving YOU.. I just can't call it the Quits.. I have come so Far and I am getting closer to YOU.. as the OLDER MAN.. the Master looks at me.. He tells me.. it is time for me to GO to see the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would stand there as he gives me the Letter.. stamping with the seal for His NAME that I am His student.. I would stand IN the ROOM.. as I am looking at the Letter with the STAMP SEALED.. I would sit.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I sat alone.. crying.. It means that I get to finally see YOU.. I have made the promise.. DO you remember.. and I am LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. WHEN we were Young.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU came to the Garden.. and I was at the Top of the Hill.. By the tree.. visiting My Mother's grave.. I was with my Father and he wanted too tell me a story.. and I heard the Messenger as he was going Up on the Hill.. and it stopped my Father and we turned to look back.. the Messenger says the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH is coming UP.. and Me and My Father.. Both on the Knees Looking on the ground.. YOU came to us.. and it broke my Heart when YOU told me.. it is going to be hard for you to come to this Garden.. and before YOU are going to come the One last Time.. a Prince is going to show UP for the Last time.. and I knew what that meant.. I remember that Day Came.. YOU showed UP with the Prince who wanted to Marry YOU.. My Heart was breaking into Pieces when He came with YOU.. but I made a Promise to YOU.. and that promise is that I will still love YOU.. and that I will go to serve.. and to protect and defend YOU.. even if it means that I can't Love YOU.. but I asked YOU.. can I still Love YOU.. WOULD YOU let me still Love YOU.. but I do remember YOU looked the other way.. WHEN I saw you with the Prince at the Hill top by the Tree.. I did Not want any one there which it was my Mother's Grave.. I just could Not believe it had to happen.. when I think of it Now.. I have never given UP on that Promise.. as I was in the Small ROOM.. holding the Letter with the Stamp sealed of the Older Man.. the Master.. and On the Other Hand

MAH MAH.. Into the training camp.. ALL goes on the two Knees.. Arms moves forward.. and Lowers the Heads together and I see YOU stop.. MY Heart starts to beat Faster.. as my Heart keeps On running.. ALL these men.. New and Older.. the Military and Generals.. Commanders and Chief Generals.. ALL down on two Knees.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Young Boy who drew this Picture of YOU.. as I am looking at it.. My eyes.. watery and fills with Tears and I can feel my tears running Down as I am looking at this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. as YOU pull out the Sword and YOU point at Me.. and I lift UP my Head looking UP at YOU.. My Heart breaks because I do remember this One Young Fellow.. He told me that as Long as I keep dreaming.. and Dreaming of Just Loving YOU.. and to follow my Dreams and my Heart towards YOU.. that One day.. something Big.. something Grand will Happen.. I did Not know what that Meant.. But Now I know what it is Like because I am here today still Loving YOU.. I had no idea why was that young boy saying this to me.. that is before he died.. I saw the Boy's body on the back of a wagon being carried.. on the streets.. a HAY was covered over.. I ran to look at the wagon being pulled by the Horse.. when I stopped.. uncover the STRAY HAY covering.. it was the Same young Boy who gave me this Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I would with both hands show YOU.. HWANGTAEJABIN MAH MAH.. and I see you walking closer and YOU stopped.. and YOU looked at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is this Picture I kept all of this Time and Just could Not let It go.. But Know I believe I can because my Dreams of Loving YOU and coming this Close.. It has been kept alive.. I want YOU to do the Honor to Burn this For Me.. because Now.. I realize I don't need this One Picture because I see YOU Now.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I am close to YOU NOW.. I love YOU MORE NOW.. so I don't need to go back because I am Now living in the Present.. going forward with YOU to future HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. ALL I want to say to YOU.. I still Love YOU.. I never have given UP that Hope and dreams of Loving YOU.. I hope that NOW you can see my true Heart.. the real Heart of Mine who never stopped Loving you this Far.. all I wanted to say to YOU CROWN PRINCESS.. I love YOU..I am looking Across.. Standing by the Gates.. with the three Friends.. as the Back of the Palace Guards.. I am looking at YOU.. and so many people has gathered.. ALL of the TOP Generals.. the Commanders.. the Head servant.. maids.. even the Highest Kitchen Lady.. and ALL of the Special Body Guards.. the servants and I can hear a Great Celebration.. on the Outer Court.. I am watching YOU.. looking through the gate Bars.. I am wondering.. what is going to Happen after this.. WILL I able to still love YOU.. Look at the place I am standing.. and my three friends who are standing next to me sees Me.. I am sad.. My Heart is broken because NOW.. it is so Hard to Love YOU.. of Course I should be the One who should be the Most happiest to support YOU.. I know that it was ME who told YOU to leave.. to GO.. to go back to the Palace because It is the King.. PEH HA is calling.. He wanted to show YOU and give YOU something.. I was so Happy to hear this News.. that something Great was going to Happen.. and I am now Sad.. NOT sad in a Bad way.. I am just so sad because of this Distance.. I want to come Close.. I want to be near YOU.. able to hold Your Hands.. able to be close and to tell YOU at least I miss YOU.. or say I love YOU.. YOU don't have to accept the Words but.. If I were able to get closer to YOU.. at least YOU are able to feel the energy.. able to see me Smile.. but.. NOW.. I feel like only looking at the MOON can be more closer than for me to LOOK at YOU.. I am looking through the Bar Gate.. as I am watching the People.. the Most important People.. even the Prime Minister has come.. also the Queen.. the People all lowers and falls to the Floor.. QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. people all shouts on the floor.. lowering as she walks.. YOUR Mother has come and Me with the three friends all hit the Floor.. even though she can't see us.. knowing that the QUEEN has COME.. there is a Throne Seat.. in the Middle.. but a stage which YOU are on.. and Now the Messenger Shouts Out.. PEH HA!! the King is Coming.. the KING has come.. PEH HA! and all the people shouts Loud.. PEH HA! and me with the three friends shouts together PEH HA! and the King says for the attendants.. all rise UP and every one stands UP on the two feet.. so me and the three Friends all get UP.. the King is on the Outer Court.. and there is stairs.. He looks at YOU.. HE is with tears in his Eyes looking at YOU.. and there is a Big Crown.. and as the King steps UP He tells YOU to sit on the Throne.. and I look.. It can't be.. and He places a Crown ON the TOP of Your Head.. and He looks at YOU.. kisses Your Hand and says.. Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. SOON to Lead.. SOON to take over the Place.. and everyone Falls ON to the Floor.. lowers all.. and Says CROWN PRINCESS.. I am On the Floor.. with the three Friends.. HWANGTAEJABI.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. and every one shouts.. YOU sit there very shock.. but We all knew that IN time YOU will become the TOP RULER for the Nation.. People cheers and shouts Out.. WANGSEJABI.. CROWN PRINCESS.. we honor YOU.. the Commanders comes and they take a Bow to YOU.. kneeling and lower the Heads.. to the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. the Crown Princess.. and Each Man comes to kiss your hand.. few Commanders.. the TOP 1st Chief Generals line UP.. to the 2nd In command of Chief Generals.. to the 3rd in command of Chief Generals.. and the Lower top generals and I am watching.. this is the Most biggest celebration.. very close of becoming the Ruler.. and I am falling looking on the floor.. What am I suppose to DO.. One side of my Heart.. I am truly joyful.. and I am so Happy for YOU.. I knew in time YOU would become the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I would feel so happy that Now you are going to be taking over.. even though there is NO crown Prince.. but YOUR FATHER.. PEH HA made that calling.. Knowing that YOU are ready.. I am looking at the King and the Queen.. both lower themselves before YOU.. I am in shock.. It is PEH HA and HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and they made this Happen.. Now.. On the Other side.. I am watching all of these Most important people who works for the King.. they are all going over kissing Your hand.. I see a long Line and I would be on this Position till the Sun Goes Down.. and I see YOU still sitting on that Throne with the Crown TOP of your Head.. as I am hearing foot steps.. and it stops by the gate door bar.. I know someone is coming.. Is it my turn to kiss Your Hand.. If I kiss your hand.. I know that I can't love YOU any more.. what about me.. What about my Heart.. WILL you still let me Love YOU even after I kiss YOUR HAND.. I want to know.. will you let me still come close.. because I told YOU that I did not want to Come.. I knew that THIS would happen.. I told you before.. when We were back at the garden.. up on the Hill side by the tree.. I told YOU to let me stay Alone.. that I did Not want to go with YOU.. that I told my friends to take YOU instead.. because I knew that this is going to happen to Me.. WHY are you making my Heart to Bleed.. WHY don't you just give me a sharp blade knife and cut UP my stomach instead.. it be better if I just die like this.. I told YOU that YOU SHOULD go alone.. and I know that YOU wanted me to see YOU and to join in the celebration.. Yes.. it is the Best day I see.. it is the greatest day I am feeling at One side.. that Now.. YOU are the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH.. but the next thing I want to know.. what am I suppose to do with my Heart.. I have been loving you for so Long.. I mean it has been such a very long time.. and I began to think.. if it is all about MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI.. the Crown Princess.. YOU becoming the Next Ruler.. I told you that I did not want to come because the Distance is going to push me far away from YOU.. that is why leaving me behind would been a great idea because my eyes seeing YOU Close is good but bad when I can't ever come close to YOU.. DO YOU KNOW how much I love YOU.. DO you know that I love you so much that I did decide to join.. decided to see this Celebration.. NOW My heart is breaking inside because I know there will be Distance between US.. but able to see YOU close.. but loving YOU far hurts me far more than FOR me being at the Garden.. on the TOP of the HILL side by the tree been better because at least I don't have to see YOU.. it is the same feeling because of the distance.. it kills me more that I can't love YOU.. it kills me even more that I want to love YOU.. but How.. HOW can I love YOU when YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. Please tell me How.. I hear the Bar Gates Opening.. and the Messenger is standing there.. telling me to get UP.. and the four of Us all get up.. the Crown Princess is calling is what the Messenger is telling.. the three of the friends started to walk forward.. But I stop.. I am not going to walk over.. I can't kiss YOUR HAND if I can't love YOU.. I rather NOT go and just turn the Other way.. the Messenger stops and turns to look at me.. the Crown Princess is waiting.. HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH is waiting for YOU.. but I would not make any move.. I can't go.. I don't want to walk over and kiss Your hand

MAH MAH.. Me.. How about my Love.. How about me Loving YOU.. If I can't love YOU now.. I can't love you later.. because it will turn Out to be Never.. that is why I choose to be still here.. How about Me.. tell Me.. give me the answer first.. I rather turn the Other way.. I will go back to the Garden where I belong in the first place.. where I should stayed in the first place.. If this was going to happen.. I do not know why I came all the way down here to cause trouble.. I don't mean to cause any kind of trouble.. because MY true intention is also celebrate.. but IF it ends this Way.. and YOU are forcing me to Kiss Your Hand so that I can't love you any more.. I am telling YOU now I will not.. I will Not kiss YOUR HAND.. so Please.. Let me GO back to the place where I belong.. Maybe I don't belong here any more because NOW.. I have reached a Point.. I can die.. If I can't love YOU.. Please let me go to see my Family.. I can meet them on the Other side.. since I know now I can't love YOU.. and My tears begins to roll down.. YOU know that I am badly hurt right Now.. YOU know that It hurts if I can't love YOU.. it hurts even missing YOU but to stand here for the rest of My life.. just to look at YOU but can't never love YOU.. I can't.. WHY did you even bring me to this Place if YOU knew it was going to end UP like this.. If you would of told me if YOU Knew this was to happen.. I would of chosen to Be at the Garden.. be close to the Buried family members.. I am not trying to start anything.. Not a war.. Not trying to bring any kind of Trouble.. but just telling YOU.. letting YOU know that I should of never come.. YES.. I do love that YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. I am truly happy for YOU.. that YOU are going to be ruling soon.. I already told YOU it was going to happen., of course never thought this SOON though.. BUT it has happened.. If I walk over.. and YOU give me YOUR HAND.. and I kiss that Hand.. that means I can't ever love YOU.. I will not kiss YOUR hand if I just can't.. I rather turn My Head and look up to the Sky and LOOK at the MOON and just talk to that Moon thinking about YOU.. I have been asking the MOON like he be a friend and sharing.. How much I love YOU and how much I been praying to meet YOU and always wishing that I can meet YOU SOON.. that part it has come true.. but I started to fall for YOU.. maybe because It Hurts so Much I started to love YOU.. maybe it was because missing YOU TOO MUCH I started to Love YOU.. but just thinking about YOU.. it made My Heart to Fall in Love with YOU.. because YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. knowing that this was going to happen.. because of THIS.. because YOU are HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH.. knowing YOU are the Best.. the greatest is why I loved YOU.. ever since I was a young Boy.. I knew that YOU were going to be someone very special.. and NOW I see.. my eyes are seeing.. that because YOU are.. that is why I rather just love YOU and Not kiss YOUR HAND..I walk out the room.. Pulling out the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I just can't stop.. I been thinking of YOU a lot lately.. and I needs to go see YOU.. but How.. and as I am standing out.. I would turn to the Left.. I see the Horse.. and it belongs to the Older Man who teaches me.. maybe this time.. and I would look at the Art sketch paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. YOU know that YOU may Not see me.. but I will be at the Palace.. I will only be like a Shadow.. like the wind.. YOU can't see Me.. but YOU know that I am there.. knowing because I love YOU.. and I would Fold the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU in my Back.. and I would walk.. I stop by the Horse.. and I would get back on this Black Horse.. I would hit the Horse likely and the Horse starts to RUN.. as I am riding on the Back of the Horse.. feeling the Wind in my face as the Horse keeps On running down the Road.. all I can think of is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even though I may not be close.. even though you may Not see Me.. I know that as long as I can see YOU.. just seeing YOU from a Far is all I can ask for.. even though I may Not be able to say or tell YOU what My Heart truly feels or expresses to YOU.. as Long as my eyes sees that YOU are doing good.. that is ALL I am asking for.. the Horse keeps On running down the road.. all through the Day.. I see this Horse.. this Black Horse keeps on going.. it feels Like me.. Just cannot stop but keeps On going.. as I would watch the SUN Setting down.. when I look on the side.. I see the waters.. and the Horse would run slowly as it stops.. I give this Horse.. the Black Horse some rest.. I get Off the Horse.. Now.. as I would walk close to the waters.. there are group of guys by the waters.. and I would turn to look at One of the guys.. and I would stand still.. as I would pull the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. and it is killing me inside that I can't be close to YOU.. Now.. one of the guys.. he comes closer and takes a LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and Looks at me.. and I tell Him.. Yes.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU are asking me.. I am a Low Born servant.. and I know I can't even Look at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. who am I to love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am Not suppose to ever put my eyes on YOU.. and the penalty for getting caught is Death.. even though I know that If I break this Law.. But.. if YOU take a LOOK at me.. I am already Dead.. so I have No more fear.. I have already broken this Law and just ready to Die any time SOON.. but what can I do.. if I love YOU.. is this My fault.. How is it my fault if My Heart is the One who is causing this Kind of trouble.. this Kind of problem in my life.. I am just going what My Heart truly Needs.. and the Guy looks at me.. He works at the Palace.. and He is the Palace Guard at the Door.. and I just could Not believe.. he came just for a break with Other friends who works at the Palace.. they are all guards at the door.. and I just could Not believe.. He is going to help me to take to where YOU are.. tells me Not to tell any one because.. My Heart.. WHICH only Loves YOU.. as I would watch the waters on this Night.. I just could Not sleep.. but.. for the Longest time.. it has been so long since I saw YOU.. it is a Picture of YOU when YOU are YOUNG.. Now.. the Guy who came with his friends.. one of them had an Art Sketch Picture.. but it is the recent Picture some one drew.. and the guy's friend showed me.. as I took into my hands.. YOU just blew my Mind.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have become so Beautiful.. when did YOU grew UP looking so Beautiful Like this.. and as I am looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the recent drawing of YOU.. My eyes could Not Help.. but my tears.. it just could NOT let it sit and I felt.. my tears just ran down as I am looking at the recent Picture.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. and I am wondering.. the Guy looks at me.. even his friend Loves YOU too.. I am thinking.. I know there must be More but.. it does Not matter with me.. as the Sun starts to rise.. the Guy.. he came with three friends and Got into the Horse.. and gave me this New.. the recent Picture of YOU.. and I would walk down away from the waters.. and I get ON the Back of the Black Horse.. the four of the guys starts to ride the Horses.. as I get on the Black Horse.. I would ride this Horse following the Four Horses.. and Now.. I never knew that I am able to get this Close.. I just can't believe it.. My dreams are coming true.. How could this Be.. as the Horses would run down and the towns.. the villages are passing By.. and the two Guards by the Fortress Gates.. the Four Guards show the badges and they are able to get me Inside.. the Gates Open wide.. and the Four guards riding on the Horses.. and I am behind the Four Palace Guards following in the Black Horse.. as the Horses keeps On going and running down this road.. the path.. and it leads to the palace gates.. two Guards.. Opens the front gates.. as the FOUR PALACE GUARDS shows and lets me in with them.. and Into the back gates they go.. as the Horses all slow down.. the Guy who I first talked too.. He gets out of the Horse and He points at the Chamber on TOP.. that is where YOU are.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Other Guard tells me that YOU are not there.. that the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. is at the training ground.. and HE is the One who leads.. as I get off the Black Horse.. walking across on the Other side.. and there is the Fence.. as I walk with the Other Guard.. I would stop.. from the back.. I pull out the Recent.. Art sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. as grown.. I just can't believe you have grown this Much.. so much Prettier and never imagined YOU be this Beautiful in my life.. Now the Other Guard stops and looks back.. I just can't believe.. I am going to see the Crown Princess.. do YOU not see this.. LOOK.. I am at the palace.. and going to get to see closer LOOK at the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is Like a Dream come true.. I was truly worried about.. How am I going to see YOU.. I know that I have No business at the Palace. NO guards are going to let me In but.. it is a true Miracle that I am here.. and get to meet.. the Other Guard looks and smiles.. and He turns to lead the way.. as I am following HIM.. in my hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the RECENT drawing picture of YOU.. and I see the other Guard.. He stands by the fence.. and He stops.. and I am walking.. my Heart.. It is beating so Fast.. why do I feel so excited.. why is My Heart beating.. is it beating or dancing from the Inside.. and I stop

MAH MAH.. Coming.. walking over to the Fence.. and I just can't look at YOU.. why can't I breathe.. why is it so Hard for me to breath and YOU stop by the fence.. and the Other Guard would answer YOU.. and YOU turn to LOOK at me asking me.. and I would lift UP my Head.. and I would LOOK at Your eyes.. DO YOU not remember Me.. right Now I am at the Older man's House.. he is my master my teacher at this Point.. but.. YOU don't remember Me.. and I see YOU looking and with Question.. it is me.. at the Garden.. when YOU came Long ago.. when we were younger.. and my Father who was the Head over the servants.. who served the King but was servant to the CROWN PRINCESS.. which is YOU.. and my Hand went back to Pull out the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I lifted it UP before Your eyes and I see your hands grab hold unto.. DO YOU not remember this Picture.. this Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. when we were little.. before YOU left.. I asked a Boy.. and HE had to get your Permission.. and YOU allowed that BOY to draw YOU and the Boy would give me this Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. the boy say.. I am good to have this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. this drawing picture of YOU.. by the tree.. before YOU told me that YOU could never come back to the Garden.. that WHEN I grew to be older.. for YOU to know.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU told me to bring this to YOU so that YOU will remember who I am.. and it was YOU who allowed me to have this.. to keep this.. that one day when I come to this palace.. when I bring this to show YOU who I am.. YOU will know that it was ME.. the lowly born servant at the garden who never stopped Loving YOU.. I came all the way just to tell YOU that I have grown.. and YES.. that I am going to enter the king's service and to Be a Palace Guard.. so that I can come close to YOU.. to protect YOU and to defend this nation.. I told you this when I was little.. when I was young.. I told YOU.. before YOU left for good.. I told YOU I promise I will come.. and as I am LOOKING UP at YOU from kneeling on two Knees.. YOU looked at me.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see your smile.. so YOU do Remember everything right.. it is that Boy at the garden.. who wanted to give YOU a flower.. Now.. it is Not just a flower.. but I will show YOU a SWORD to protect YOU and this Nation.. and will FIGHT on your Behalf.. the Other guard looks at me.. and As I am looking at the New Recruits.. I would look back.. and I see the Seven Friends who are behind me.. there are two who has been there for me all this time.. the Other Guard who lead me to YOU.. and the First Guard who talk to me at the waters.. Who has been helping me to get closer to YOU.. and as I would LOOK by the Fence.. I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. as I am holding the stick in the Hand.. telling me that I should train these new Men.. the YOUNG MEN who are the recruits.. and as I would pull back.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is when YOU were Little.. the Boy WHO gave it to ME.. who told me that I have the Permission from YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. LOOKING at the Tree.. by the Garden.. I am always thinking about the Garden because it was the first TIME.. when I saw YOU coming.. riding on the Horse.. YOU wanted to see How the Garden feels.. it was when I saw YOU there.. when I started to LOVE you at the Garden.. as I am looking at one of the new Recruit.. He looks at me and swings the WOODEN SWORD at me.. and He misses as I go back.. with the WOODEN SWORD stick I am holding.. I would swing Forward and It hits the new recruit and He falls to the Floor.. to the ground..I am looking at YOU.. as YOU are coming closer.. I see you walking and YOU stop.. as I tell YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. Please do not come closer to Me.. I don't want to kiss YOUR hand.. I just can't.. because YOU know my Heart.. Please.. tell me rather to Leave the Palace.. stripe away my title.. and My Position.. I rather Live as a Slave Instead.. I don't deserve to Kiss Your Hand because I know My Heart.. I know How much I love YOU.. that is why I won't.. Please stop there and DO not come closer.. I rather walk away from the Outer Court.. and I would Hear.. the Queen is coming.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and I see you turn the Other way.. the Queen in tears.. coming to Kiss Your Hand.. and I see her lips kiss.. putting YOU in charge of everything.. I would walk the ten Council of Noble Men walking and they all stop behind the Prime Minister of the Nation.. and I see the King.. who is on the Floor.. He is crying.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS of this Nation.. HWANG WOO.. QUEEN.. come to me.. and I see the Queen turn around and she walks to her Husband as She also falls on the Floor.. with tears.. and I am standing there.. each Council of Noble MAN.. walking forward.. each Man comes to Kiss Your Hand.. and I am standing there.. My Heart is truly Touched.. truly Moved.. and I am standing thinking.. WHY can't I kiss Your Hand.. is it because it is My Pride.. WHO am I to tell YOU this.. WHO am I as the Lowly servant.. I am only the Palace Guard.. How can I reject Your Hand.. but It is because I love YOU.. I know that I must kiss but I know if I do.. I become Your Subject.. as I would watch each person kissing Your Hand and they Bow and lower to the Knees.. and LOOKING at the Big Crown on top of Your Head.. now the three of my friends goes over.. and Each of them decides to Kiss Your hand.. I am now standing alone.. if I don't kiss YOUR hand.. I know that I must leave this Palace.. this Outer Courts.. so I would turn to face the Gates.. I know that I must leave.. I just can't stand here any longer.. I just can't kiss Your hand and just become NO ONE to YOU.. and as I behind to walk down by myself.. the Special Body Guard runs.. and He stops me.. putting the Sword in front.. and I turn around and I still see YOU.. YOU just standing there.. with the White Dress.. SO beautiful.. WHY are you stopping Me.. I told you already that YOU are going to be a Great Ruler for the Nation.. Everyone gets on their Knees before YOU.. the Prime Minister.. the Commanders.. Chief Generals.. Generals.. the foot soldiers.. the Ten Council of Noble men.. all the Maid and servant.. EUNCH.. the Highest Kitchen Lady.. the Doctors of the Palace.. all falls before YOU.. shouting Out.. Crown Princess.. MANSAE.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY and Tears are all falling.. saying the Next RULER coming UP and I would look at YOU.. my tears are flowing DOWN.. I am so Sad because HOW can I love YOU now.. LOOK at me.. I can't even do anything.. How can I love YOU now.. YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the CROWN PRINCESS of this Nation.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would fall on both knees and start too weep in Pain.. I am aching because LOOK at me.. WHO AM I to love a CROWN PRINCESS like YOU.. and I am looking at the Ground.. wailing and Weeping loud.. I know that I am wrong.. I know that I should of never started but NOW to turn back.. it is just too late to turn.. I have come long ways of loving YOU.. and I am looking UP at the MOON.. WHY.. WHY did I even come.. if I could of stayed behind.. then It would not hurt me this Much because the Loving YOU always hurt but Now.. it hurts more.. I don't want to lose YOU.. because I know that I love YOU.. as I am would stand UP.. and I look toward the Gate.. and I started to walk.. passing the Gates.. I know that I can't come back.. I will remain as a Slave.. and I started to walk.. but.. this Special Body Guard keeps on following Me.. and Puts his sword to STOP me to go.. and I would turn.. I see YOU walking.. and coming closer as I am stopped by the Gates.. I am wondering.. YOU have everything here.. WHY are you doing this to me.. the more you do this.. the More I will be hurting in inside.. YOU know that I am little.. with such no Power.. I have no strength but YOU have all the strong People around YOU.. who also decided to choose YOU to be the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have all the troops.. even the people all.. I would see the People.. common people.. they all fallen on the Floor.. and People.. the common people.. when they see YOU.. they would shout OUT with the loud VOICE.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and People are on the Floor.. on the knees looking at the ground.. and I am standing here.. SO touched.. winning the Hearts of many people.. in the Palace and Out with the Common people.. YOU have won as the Next and I know that YOU WILL DO great.. that is why Now.. YOU have no need for me to be here.. because YOU have taken the seat to RULE.. and I told YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I will not kiss Your hand.. if YOU are asking me to come.. and be your subject.. and wants me to kiss YOUR HAND.. that is why I rather leave.. I would live in the deep of the forest and into the mountains.. I will not be known to YOU anymore.. and I see YOU coming very closer.. and your hand touch my shoulder Blade.. and I hear the word Stay.. and I turn around to face YOU.. HOW can I stay with YOU if YOU want me to kiss that Hand.. I told you I just can't.. if YOU want me to be Your Subject.. I want to live a different life.. I can't spend the rest of my Life just standing here.. Unable to say.. unable to tell YOU How much I love YOU.. I am Not going to live the rest of my life.. just wishing because I just can't.. why

I am looking for something.. I look at the Glass Jar.. I have set in on the floor.. I been asking YOU that I need your Heart.. as I would wait.. there is no answer on the other side.. so I know that I must keep waiting.. as I am holding the Glass jar.. which it changes to a new place.. I was in the room.. but I decided to walk Out.. and I been looking back.. thinking back when I was at my Room.. sitting on the floor.. looking through the Glass jar.. which was empty.. Now I must walk off.. I am now sitting Out side.. sitting by the shore.. I just love the waters.. I would drive alone.. and come to this One spot.. where I am able to get Out of the Car.. and I am able to sit.. this One Lake.. and I would watch the waters.. so Peaceful and Nice out.. I would always bring a Bottle.. and with me is the Shot Glass next to the Bottle.. and I would sit still.. I would be looking at your Picture.. makes me think more of you when I am by the Lake.. of course I know that I am not going to find you near.. but.. knowing you are so Far.. I still feel like YOU are near.. as Long as I have your picture in my hand.. and I am able to tell YOU some how.. How I feel this very night.. I would be asking for Your Heart.. I even brought the Empty Glass jar.. I know that your Heart can't fit in this Empty Glass Jar.. I know YOU have a Big Heart.. But I still want Your Heart.. I would be sitting down.. looking at your Picture.. my Chest burns when my eyes looks at YOU.. holding your Picture in my Heart.. Can I please imagine that YOU are here.. Can YOU please tell me that I can close both of my eyes and say that YOU are here.. that YOU are near.. but when both of my eyes are opened.. I know that YOU are gone.. leaving this space between us.. this distance which makes me even miss YOU more.. when Can I see YOU.. when will you ever be close to me.. Do you know the times when we can see each Other.. but every time I close my eyes and I imagine.. I know that I feel you so close.. so Near to me.. that I want my arms to hold YOU.. Hold you close and tight.. and I want to tell your ears.. How much I missed YOU.. ever since the day One.. I have been missing you ever since.. Please.. tell me that YOU are near.. I would grab your Picture.. and I would keep on looking at YOU.. this Picture.. it burns my Chest.. Burns like I put my hand on the stove.. and I can feel the fire burning.. it hurts when My chest burns.. like I get too many chest pains.. I get a lot of chest pains when I look at your picture.. I wonder why.. I want to stop these pains I get.. my chest hurts.. and I can feel my Heart screaming from inside.. I can Hear my Heart hurting.. with Chest pains of asking me.. WHY does my Heart keep on hurting.. only if my eyes can stop looking at your picture.. I know it can stop all these attacks in my Heart causing my Chest to Burn.. I just want to drop my Heart.. maybe Toss my Heart into the lake where the Waters are near to cool my Heart down.. But.. I don't want to lose my Heart.. I need my Heart so that I can love YOU and tell YOU How much I love YOU when I have my Heart close to Me.. as I would be looking at the Bottle.. I open the top of the lid.. I know that I should stop drinking.. the more I drink by taking shots.. the More I miss YOU and wish that you are here.. I would be wondering.. when I can I see you.. when will it be the day where I don't have to miss YOU.. and stop these pains.. these aching of longing for your presence.. to Hold YOU.. Hold you in my arms and to look at Your Heart.. I am going to be looking for your Heart to tell YOUR Heart.. look what you have done to my Heart.. Keep on missing YOU.. I would place the shot Glass close.. and pour the bottle into the Shot Glass.. placing the Bottle on the ground.. as my hand grabs the Shot Glass.. I would open my mouth.. and take a Shot.. I wonder if this is going to cool my Chest down.. but It burns as it goes in.. I can feel the burning and this ache just won't go away.. my hand grabs your Picture and I would look at your Picture.. why do YOU have to be so far from me.. I know that I be missing YOU like crazy.. when I look at your Picture.. sitting by the lake.. looking at the waters.. Looking at the stars.. asking the Moon.. I want wings.. I need wings.. Please give me two wings.. so that I don't have to be suffering like this.. and taking shots.. and keep on missing YOU.. How do I get me two wings.. I know that be the fastest way for me to get to YOU.. so that I don't have to miss you.. whenever I miss YOU.. I know that the two wings can help me.. lift me Out of this Misery.. so even from the distance.. looking at you from distance and able to see YOU.. I think the missing YOU will go away.. but when YOU are sitting here out by yourself.. and knowing there is a space and distance and my eyes can't see YOU.. On this very Night.. I would start to think of YOU more and more.. I want to tell YOU.. I want to hold YOU.. I want to hear Your voice.. your laughter.. I want to see your expression when I am near YOU.. what would you do If I was near YOU.. and knowing how much I love YOU.. what would you do if I am able to get me two wings.. I am able to fly over and just to see YOU.. because of missing YOU.. would you let me stay by your side.. would you push me away.. or would you greet me with a smile.. because I don't want to show UP if you think that I am a creep.. if I would scare you when my intentions.. my motives is all about loving YOU and telling YOU how much I love YOU.. I only want to show up to tell YOU that.. Not asking for anything More.. would you open your Heart to receive.. accept how much I love YOU.. or are you going to tell me to get Lost and push me out of the way.. I want to be near so that I can tell YOU I can be gentle.. and be more tender.. and too tell Your Heart.. showing YOU the Picture.. the picture of YOU.. and holding the empty Glass Jar.. that I been waiting for Your Heart.. that I want Your Heart.. and this is the proof.. that there is nothing more in this world I want.. but I need your Heart.. all I need is your Heart and to show YOU the Empty Glass jar.. and the reason why I have brought it empty.. to show YOU,, I want what is inside of YOU.. that is Your Heart.. Nothing more.. and I would wait.. wait for Your answer.. and I will show YOU the two Wings.. this is the wings I have received when I was sitting by the shore.. I was at the Lake.. looking at the waters.. and I would show YOU the picture.. I know that this picture belongs to YOU.. but I had to keep it for myself.. ever since I have seen your Picture.. I just got lost by Your Beauty.. by your presences.. and I knew.. YOU are the only One for Me.. so Please.. take my word as being so true.. so real.. because it is My Heart.. coming from my Heart.. Now.. ever since I got this Picture.. I just could not keep away.. I wanted you close.. I wanted you near to myself.. I am so sorry if I have your Picture.. I am so sorry for looking at your picture and falling in love with Your Beauty.. YOU know that YOU are so Beautiful.. there is NO Other words I can say to YOU but to say.. YOU are the Most Beautiful.. when I look at YOU.. and I see you smile.. whenever I see your Smile.. I feel like a foot kicks my Heart.. very hard it kicks that I feel my Chest Burns.. and keeps on burning.. But I just can't keep it to myself.. I just can't help it but to share.. to tell YOU.. I need Your Heart.. so that I know for sure I can really Love YOU.. as I would pull out a Note.. with me is a Pen.. and I would start to write on this note.. LOOKING at Your Picture.. grabbing the BOTTLE and pouring into the Shot Glass.. placing the Bottle on the ground.. I pick UP the Shot Glass and I would take a SHOT at it.. placing the Shot Glass on the ground next to the Bottle.. I can feel it.. I can feel my Heart.. It tells me that My Heart is burning.. it is burning me from the inside.. I needs to take a breathe.. because YOU are taking my Breathe away.. as I am looking at the Note.. writing with the Pen.. telling YOU that I miss YOU.. when can I see YOU.. It burns me.. giving me Chest pains because I am missing YOU.. over and over again.. I keep on missing YOU.. will this Note goes to YOU.. if I put this Note in this Bottle.. I wonder how far the current of this water can push the Bottle through.. will it goes to YOU.. will you receive this Message that I wrote on the Note in this Bottle.. if the Current of the waters are strong enough to let this Bottle goes across.. I want this Message in the bottle to go to YOU.. I don't want another hand grabbing this Bottle because it is all written to tell YOU How Much I love YOU.. and How much I miss YOU.. I don't think it can go far.. I don't want the wrong person.. wrong hand

I am looking at the Two baby Teddy Bears.. the Twins and I would be smiling.. SO Beautiful and So Cute.. as they are both sitting next to each other.. I want to Hold the Little Son and the Little Daughter.. Both holding Your Pictures and Looking at YOU.. I would hear the Word MOMMA.. Where is my MOMMA and I would see the Eyes looking at me.. I am trying to get the two to go into the Bed.. but.. It seems like they do NOT want to go to sleep yet.. and I am not sure.. but around this Time.. I would put them into the ROOM and Into their Cribs.. But this very Night.. I see the Two.. the Little SON.. with the Baby Blue shirt.. the Little Daughter with Pink Shirt.. a BOW on top of the Head.. I am looking at the two Bowls.. as I would LOOK at the Phone and to Face TIME you so that the Two Can say something to their MOMMA.. as I am calling YOU on the Phone.. I cannot believe that the Little Daughter.. She does NOT cry any more when I try to Pick her UP.. my Smile grows and I can't believe it.. as I see YOU on the Face TIME.. I wanted to share this news.. and I see YOU.. and YOU be smiling.. but I am also so Happy right Now.. and I hear Your Voice.. the Two baby Teddy Bears.. I see the eyes grows Big and the ears be moving.. Knowing that It is a Voice so Familiar to Them.. and I hear.. the Little SON.. with BABY BLUE shirt.. both Arms raises and hands opens.. MOMMA.. and I be smiling.. Yes.. It is MOMMA.. Your MOMMA on the Phone.. and I see the LITTLE DAUGHTER.. raising UP the Bowl.. saying the FOOD is finished.. and SMILES looking at Me.. with this JOY in my Heart.. I can't stop crying because It was so hard to get this LITTLE ONE.. the LITTLE DAUGHTER to eat.. I did Not want to force anything.. and I would hear crying and never thought that this day would could.. as I would turn the Phone where the Face TIME shows Your Face.. the Two BABY TEDDY BEARS.. the Little SON.. the Lips.. SMILES so BIG with his Sister.. the Little Daughter.. and I see the hands be waving looking at YOU.. I just got this Bow.. the Pink Bow for the Little Daughter.. I just could Not believe that the Little Daughter.. I would sit next to her.. holding the Bowl with a Spoon.. I was Not sure if she would eat or Not.. But.. I started to cry as I put Rice and Beef Meat.. she opens her mouth and starts to chew and eat.. I wanted to call you with the Face Time to show YOU the Little Daughter.. there would been a lot of fits and pushes.. head turning on the Side and I could Not put anything Into her mouth.. and I would sit.. just worried to death.. but Now.. as I am looking at YOU on the Face TIME.. I would hear YOU telling your Children that YOU be coming Home very soon.. and that How much MOMMA misses her babies.. and How you wanted to come sooner.. and watching the Two.. the Little BABY TEDDY BEARS.. holding hands would not go to sleep.. knowing you be coming Home tomorrow must of gave some kind of excitement in the Hearts of Your Children.. and this Morning.. I know that the Little SON.. I would put the Bowl next to HIM.. he would eat alone without any Help.. but Putting the bowl Next to the Little Daughter.. She would Not eat.. I would try to tell the Little Daughter.. if YOU don't eat.. you can get sick.. and I will be sick too and even Your MOMMA be sick with me too.. so Please.. eat so that I can share HOW good daughter YOU BEEN with me.. and I would come closer.. as I sit Next to the Little Daughter.. I grabbed a PINK BOW and Put on top.. showing the Mirror to say.. YOU are the Most Prettiest Little Daughter I ever seen.. and I saw the smile.. grabbing the SPOON.. putting a RICE and the beef.. the Mouth opens wide and I put the spoon into her mouth.. as I see her chew and eat.. I just could NOT hold my tears in.. I just could Not believe that finally I am able to feed this Little Daughter.. in the hand.. there is a Picture.. I would open her Hand and to look at what Picture and it is a Picture of YOU.. and I would look at YOU through this Picture.. my hand touches My Chest and I would say.. WHY do you Burn my Heart.. WHY do you do this TO ME and even bringing the Twins.. the Little SON and the Little Daughter.. my Heart beat faster as I spend the time with Them.. they are so Adorable and so Cute.. never imagined in my Life that I could even fall more harder for YOU because I feel like I am a part of something Bigger now.. I remember when YOU first called me on the Phone.. and asking ME that YOU had to go somewhere.. and YOU had a problem.. that YOU could Not take your Children with YOU.. and needed them to be place by somewhere safe and secure and wanted to ask me a Favor.. if I could baby sit your children while YOU are away on this Business journey.. I remember I paused for a few minutes.. trying to think straight because I was Not sure if it was the right THING to bring your Two Children.. and YOU told me that they are two.. One is a Boy and the Other is a girl.. and they are Twins.. Little SON and the Little Daughter.. and it is a hard decision for YOU to leave them behind but this trip was very important for YOU.. of course I did Not want to say NO.. I had NO experience of How to deal with kids.. I never had any children on my own so I am Not sure what I am suppose to DO.. but.. of course I know that THIS IS a very Important business meeting.. this trip YOU must take and YOU MUST go so I told YOU.. Yes.. it is because I love YOU.. it is because It is YOU and as long as it is YOU WHO I LOVE the Most.. it does Not matter.. because I will try to be a GOOD baby sitter.. I remember when the DOOR knocked on the Front Door.. did Not expected much.. opening the DOOR.. I saw the Two crying.. I was Not sure.. How am I suppose to handle both be crying.. holding unto MOMMA.. and when YOU try to bring the LITTLE SON closer.. and He was in your Arm and the Little Daughter.. You were holding her hands.. and I saw your steps closer asking me to hold and Carry the Little SON.. he started to Cry Louder as He came into my Arms.. and the Little Daughter started to cry louder and sat on the Floor.. did Not want to come into the House.. and as I would look at this.. My Heart started to feel cracking inside.. started to feel this breaking deep within me.. WHY.. they do not understand why YOU have to leave them with Me.. and when I went inside the House holding the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little SON.. He is looking at YOU from the back.. arms stretching to YOU.. and Made me stop.. My Heart just could Not handle this pain of hearing this ONE cry and asking for YOU.. asking for His MOMMA and WHY you had to leave HIM with me.. and I would stand still thinking.. what am I suppose to do if they keep on crying.. asking for YOU.. and what do I do when they keep crying over and over.. and I turn around to ask YOU this Question.. I see you walk into this House.. YOU were holding the Other Little BABY Teddy Bear.. the Little Daughter.. and YOU went over to the Couch and Put the Little Daughter to sit still and I would come over to Place and sit the Little SON next to her.. both crying.. and hands be rubbing the eyes looking at YOU and Looking at me.. and I would say.. and YOU would give a Phone to the Little Daughter.. and Placing the Hand of the Little SON.. telling the Two YOU be coming Home soon.. and that I am a BABY Sitter for few days so Don't cry.. and I see the two Stop crying when YOU tell them that.. and I see YOU with Your Other Phone and YOU dial the Number.. and the Phone would ring.. the Little Daughter looks at the Phone.. the Little SON looks at the Phone and presses.. and It is the Face Time.. and the two looks at the Face Time.. I see YOU walking back.. and YOU are talking to the two Little BABY TEDDY BEARS and I would watch them smile.. hands be waving looking at YOU through the Phone and giving them two Pictures.. One for the Little SON and the Other for the Little Daughter.. so that YOU are near and YOU gave me One too.. and as I would look at YOU.. I would watch YOU say good bye and Left the Front Door.. I remember the first Night.. I just could Not sleep at all.. and the two Would Not sleep either.. both sitting on the Couch and would be crying.. asking for YOU.. for MOMMA.. of course every one Hour I would hear the Phone ringing and the Two siting next to each Other.. they would fight for the Phone.. pushing the Button for the Face TIME.. I see them showing Teeth and growling that One of them has to talk and the Other.. as I would watch still on the corner.. I did Not want to bother any of them because of how the two.. the Little BABY TEDDY bears kept on crying crying after YOU would hang UP the Phone.. pushing and shoving who is going to answer next.. after a long period of time crying.. I would hear silence.. and when I look at the Couch.. the two be sleeping next to each other.. and I would walk into the ROOM.. and the Picture YOU gave me.. I would go over to the desk and sit alone.. looking at your Picture.. I would be thinking.. they been crying all through the day after you left.. and the two do Not want to eat either.. they do NOT want to drink any waters.. sits on that couch.. LOOKS at your Pictures crying and looks at the Phone to see it rings.. and I am looking at your Picture.. but YOU are so Beautiful.. why did YOU have to bring those two into my House and I know that I have NO experience with children.. what if they keep on crying asking for YOU.. I hear where is MOMMA.. why isn't MOMMA calling the Phone.. and Keeps on crying for YOU.. and Now there is Peace and silence as I am sitting in this ROOM alone.. of course if the Two Little Ones are crying Out for YOU.. asking and missing YOU.. I know that my Heart truly feels the same.. that I do want to see YOU SOON too and that I know what the two Little TEDDY BEARS are feeling

Again.. this Cry.. it cries and cries.. My Heart cries OUT loud the way the two Baby Teddy Bears be crying Out.. wiping the Tears.. grabbing unto the Phone.. pushing each Other for the Next to LOOK at YOU.. saying It is Mine turn to see.. and cries after the Hanging UP on the Phone and looking at YOU.. LOOKING at your Picture crying of these sorrows in the Hearts.. I would watch the Two Little BABY Teddy bears.. sitting on that Couch.. I know that Heart.. I can feel that Pain in the Heart because that is HOW I feel to when YOU are Gone.. when YOU are far away which leaves me to be more lonely than ever.. just to be with YOU.. just to tell YOU.. but my Words can't say it.. I see the two., saying I MISS YOU.. and I love YOU.. LOOKING at you when the Two looks at YOU through the Face Time.. but I stand still.. it kills me the Most.. it eats me at it inside because I wish that I can be like the two TEDDY BEARS.. your Children who is able to say it and tell It the way it just feels inside but I just cannot.. and I would watch them cry.. I cry with the Two watching on the SIDELINE because.. I want to go over to the Phone.. looking at you on the Face TIME and when I look at you through the PHONE on FACE TIME.. just to tell YOU with my tears in my eyes to say it with Means.. I miss YOU and I love YOU.. why can't you be here so that I don't needs to cry any more and watch the Children to cry along with me.. it burns My Heart into pieces.. it burns because it hurts so much.. this PAIN of loving YOU.. I may become sick.. sick inside because I am Loving you just too much just for too long.. that IS how much I love YOU.. I am looking at your Picture.. just thinking about YOU.. if I am sitting here.. and just missing YOU.. I wonder about the two Little Ones.. the Baby Teddy Bears be feeling.. I am looking at the Son.. and I am looking at the Daughter.. Both so adorable and so Cute.. and I want to see YOU.. of course both are in the cribs and they are sleeping.. I just came Out of the room.. and two rooms in this House.. as I am thinking about the Long Day.. I would be hearing crying.. Just crying for Momma.. and I would be showing the two Little Teddy Bears Your Picture.. and I would see the Son.. I would say.. this is Your MOMMA.. do you see her.. which I am speaking about You.. and the Little Son.. He would grab your Picture with both hands.. and Looks at the Picture.. sitting on the Couch.. and I am looking at him.. standing UP.. I would see the two tears.. lines of tears running down the cheeks.. and I am thinking.. what am I suppose to do.. This Little Son is crying for YOU.. and I see the kiss.. kissing the Picture of YOU and saying.. MOMMA.. MOMMA I miss YOU and I am just standing.. am I suppose to call YOU on the Phone.. of course the Little Son is more quiet.. but the Daughter.. has a pink Bow on top of the Head.. wearing Pink shirt.. I know that this Daughter is Hungry.. I remember you calling me on the Phone.. and I would hear the ringing.. so I pick UP the Phone.. and I hear YOU on the Other side of the Line.. and I am looking at the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. I would sit Her on the Diner Table.. and she Sits on the chair you brought from your Home.. I would be trying to tell YOU.. why doesn't the Daughter Eat.. I know that she must be hungry.. but I am looking at her.. the Daughter.. sitting on her chair.. and I see the head turns to look at me.. and crying.. I can hear the weeping loud.. asking where is MOMMA.. I miss MOMMA and I would just stand there.. what am I suppose to do.. and I would be walking to the Diner room.. and I would stand by the chair the Daughter is sitting down.. and I would lower myself to look at the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. and I would ask.. Can I face Time YOU.. so that this Daughter can take a Look at you.. she has been crying.. and I would ask if she wanted to eat.. the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter would tell me No.. I just fed the Little Son.. did Not cry at all when I gave him some bowl of rice.. as I would face time YOU.. and I am looking at you through the Screen.. I really miss YOU.. of course I am not just going to stand here and cry like these two little Ones are.. but I want to see YOU.. if I am missing you a lot.. then I wonder how these two be feeling.. and I would show the Little baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter the Face time.. and I see that She loves to see YOU.. and wiping the tears for her eyes and looking at you.. I hear the voice.. words.. I miss My MOMMA.. Where are YOU.. when are YOU coming Home.. and I can feel my Heart be shaking hear those words.. and I see you on the face time.. YOU are smiling looking at the Daughter.. I hear the words from YOU telling the Daughter.. I love YOU.. and I miss You too.. and My Heart.. my hand touch my chest.. did YOU hear that.. it is my Heart just woke UP to those words.. I am looking at you on Face time.. I wish that those words be said to Me.. I wonder if YOU would ever tell me those words.. I know that YOU love the two Baby Little Teddy Bears.. your Little Son and the Daughter.. both staying at my House.. but.. I want you to come soon.. I never thought it be this hard to be missing YOU.. but when I am looking at the two Little Teddy Bears and they are missing YOU.. and watching them both crying.. and Looking for YOU and waiting for YOU.. it breaks my Heart.. especially every Night.. I would watch the Little Baby Teddy Bear the Son.. He would sit on the floor and Looks at the front door.. and Just looks at the door knob.. and just stares for a while.. waiting for YOU.. and finger points at the Door Knob and turns the Head to look at me.. asking me.. MOMMA.. take to My MOMMA.. is MOMMA coming home tonight.. and turns the head to look UP at the Door.. as I would stand behind with few steps behind.. I do not want to go pick him up.. the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Son.. when I go and share the bad news that YOU are Not coming Home.. I hate to see because when my hands reach and arms hold the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little son.. right when I pick him Up.. He starts to cry.. and Loud and Loud cries I hear.. I hate it because He would Not stop crying.. I don't want to say to HIM.. MOMMA is Not coming home tonight.. and When I do.. the Cry grows louder and louder and screams for MOMMA.. my Heart.. I can feel my Heart be shaking because I want to scream and cry too.. because It breaks my Heart.. after few minutes of crying.. I see that He goes to sleep.. in my arms wrapped around.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear sit still.. and I go into the room.. where the two cribs are.. put into the Crib where he sleeps.. I know that YOU told me about a week YOU are going to stay away.. going on a vacation but I am wondering.. why did YOU not take these two with YOU.. and had to leave them with Me.. Now as I am looking at YOU.. on the Face time on the screen.. I would look at the Daughter smiling.. waving the hand at YOU.. and giggles and wiggles.. and I hear you saying to be a Nice baby girl.. and telling the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter that She needs to eat.. if she is hungry.. to eat.. that I am Not a bad person.. but there to be here for the two.. so I am smiling as the baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter sits on the chair.. and saying Yes to your words.. I have already prepared for the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I have her Bowl with rice and Meat.. I have set it on the table where she is sitting.. and I would take the Phone away from Her.. and I am looking at YOU.. I hear the crying starting after I took the Phone away.. as I am looking at YOU on the screen of this Face Time.. I would hear YOU say to me.. I am suppose to feed Her.. that she loves it when I sit next to her.. and I feed her with the Spoon.. the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son is more like On his Own but She is different.. like a baby.. and I hear more crying from Her.. and so I would pull the chair.. the chair I sit to eat and I would sit next to her.. and I give the Phone to the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I would pick Her up and let her sit on my Lap.. as the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Daughter sits.. I would look at the Bowl of rice.. scooping with the Spoon.. putting a Cow meat on top.. I am looking at the Little Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. she opens her mouth Wide.. and she is looking at YOU on the Phone screen on Face time.. and I see YOU looking at the BABY TEDDY BEAR.. the Daughter.. and I hear you smile.. and saying.. GOOD JOB.. and I can hear her chewing and eating.. I was truly scared that this One may go starve.. I tried to give her the same Bowl of Rice and the beef meat.. had to cut the meat into smaller pieces.. but would Not eat when I tried.. But now.. I see the main reason why the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear would not take it from a strange person.. I see How delicate this One truly is.. I would see the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. showing YOU her teeth and showing how she is chewing.. as I would scoop another bowl of rice.. putting a smaller pieces of beef meat on the top.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter opening the Mouth wide.. the spoon enters gently into and I see how she is able to take it all in as she starts to chew.. and I pull away the Spoon out of the mouth.. I am looking at the Baby Teddy bear.. the Daughter How much she enjoys looking at YOU through this Phone Screen on the Face time.. and smiles looking at YOU.. after the chewing is done.. I am able to look at you through the Phone of the screen.. I hear YOU telling the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. How much YOU love.. and How much you miss.. and asking about her brother.. so I am able to raise her UP and Put her on the Chair where she sits.. as I take the Phone away.. I start to hear Crying.. I mean is this One going to keep on crying every time I take the Phone away.. But I knew that the Little Son also wanted to see YOU

Is sitting on the floor.. and close to the Door.. looking at the door Knob.. I would put the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter on the Couch and she sits there.. so I would walk where the door is at.. I would put my arms around HIM.. lift him Up.. the Little Son.. his both arms reaches.. hands open for the door and I hear him crying.. waiting for MOMMA.. as I am walking away.. WHY do I have to feel this Crumbling crash from the Inside of my Heart.. I do not want to keep on hearing all these cries.. I would take him to the couch.. and let HIM sit on the couch next to his sister.. as I would stand and I would pull away from the couch.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son.. he turns to look at the Phone and looks at the Screen.. He looks closer and sees someone.. I hear MOMMA.. Me MOMMA.. and smiles.. both looks at each other and looks at the Screen of the Phone.. at the Face Time.. I would hear.. MOMMA.. I am waiting by the door.. are YOU going to come and take Us.. I miss YOU MOMMA.. I love YOU MOMMA.. as I am looking at the two Baby Little Teddy Bears.. both smiles very big looking at YOU on the Phone of the screen on face time.. MOMMA.. I love YOU.. MOMMA.. I want to see YOU.. and I would stand there.. I would watch until the Phone gets hung UP.. and Both starts to feel tired and they would sleep next to each Other.. I am looking at the Room.. the Door where the two Baby Teddy Bears are sleeping.. and I know that They were so glad and happy to see YOU.. as I am sitting in the Diner Room.. I am looking at Your Picture.. It has been a long day but time flies so Fast because busy with the Two baby Little Teddy Bears.. I am just looking at Your Picture.. Just missing YOU.. just hoping YOU would come home sooner.. Not because of the two Baby Teddy Bears.. but Just missing YOU around.. I know that I haven't said this Lately.. But I do Love YOU.. I love YOU just too much.. and I just missing YOU right Now.. please tell me this.. when are YOU coming Home.. so that I can see YOU.. so that I can tell YOU how much I missed YOU and still be missing YOU.. just to tell YOU how much I love YOU too.. that YOU are who I love the Most.. and has never stopped loving YOU.. I am sitting on the Couch.. on my Lap is the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. Next to me sitting is the Other baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I am smiling.. looking at the Picture.. and on my Lap.. the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear is looking at YOU.. and I am missing YOU.. asking when YOU are coming.. I want to show you the Two Little Ones.. the children are getting better as the days go by.. I haven't heard them be crying.. and as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. I see you holding the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear.. and YOU are sitting on the couch and next to YOU is the Daughter.. who is smiling sitting next to YOU.. it is the same situation.. My finger touch over your face.. and I hear the Little Son.. asking for Mama.. and I would show the Little Son.. and Show the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear.. the Picture of YOU and as the Little Son looks at you through the Picture.. and I would say.. yes.. I miss too.. I want to see YOU.. but It seems like it is going to take a little Longer.. I remember few days ago.. a Phone would ring and I answered the Call.. Hearing your Voice on the Other Line.. telling me that YOU are going to stay a little More Longer and will delay the flight.. I could not tell the two.. the Two Little Baby Teddy bears.. I know that if I tell them.. they are going to cry for YOU.. and I do not like it when both children sits and cries for YOU.. do YOU know How much that Hurts me because they are hurting over YOU.. the way I feel about YOU.. so I asked YOU.. if I can keep it a secret and not to tell the Daughter and the Little Son because I know.. you do not know how it breaks my Heart.. when I have to stand still or sit.. watching them cry.. when the One starts to cry.. the Other joins in to cry along side.. and they both be looking at Your Picture.. and turns to LOOK at me.. asking where YOU are.. asking where is MOMMA.. and what am I suppose to say.. I had to watch both looking at the door.. both sits next to each other.. and they are looking at the front door.. and LOOKS at me.. keeps looking at me and I know what they both are saying.. where are YOU.. I have to say.. YOU are going on a long meeting.. I think for a business trip.. MOMMA needs to go to make Money so that YOU can buy good things and I would try to explain what the good things are.. but of course they do not get what I am saying at all.. They are too young to understand or knows these things.. as I would sit on the couch.. putting the Little Son and sits on my Lap.. I would give the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear the Picture.. of course If I give the Little SON a picture of YOU.. I would look at the Daughter who looks at Me.. and wants to have a picture of YOU.. she keeps on looking UP at me which she is sitting next to Me.. I have to have a picture of YOU.. so I asked for three pictures to be sent.. they be fighting over Your Picture which the two would always cry over.. taking my picture away.. I remember calling you on the Phone.. I asked YOU if YOU can bring and sent three pictures.. so NO ONE fights over or cries.. or fusses.. Now.. there has been a great peace and Joy in this House.. as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. I miss YOU.. when I have the two baby teddy bears.. which they are Your Children.. it seems like I miss YOU more and More.. because they came from YOU.. and so Beautiful children.. and I would hear giggles from the Daughter.. she points and shows me YOU.. and I hear the word MOMMA.. and asks me.. where is MOMMA.. and I would look down at the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. and I would tell her.. working.. and the Little SON turns and looks.. and asks me the same question.. and I hear I MISS YOU MOMMA.. and it hurts.. I have to hear these words out of these two children.. why is it that I am hurting more.. I am hurting much more when the Two.. the Daughter and the Little Son.. they would look at your Picture and tells me.. MOMMA.. I miss YOU.. and Keeps on showing the Picture of YOU to me.. and tells me I love YOU.. and I miss MOMMA.. I am sitting on the couch.. they are expressing what I am feeling all of the Time.. I know that I can truly relate but the problem is there is Nothing I can do.. what am I suppose to say when YOU Miss.. and has NO answers to what I am feeling because I know How it is hurting me More.. I feel like for myself.. but when YOU can the children involve.. I feel like I am taking more loads on my Heart.. why can't you come Home.. why cant you come sooner.. the two are always missing YOU.. asking me where are YOU.. and they sit on the floor.. LOOKING at the front Door.. and I know if I try to pick the two UP.. One will cry because.. and I have to hear the other One cry too.. and it can get to YOU sometimes.. I wish I can find a way that NO ONE gets hurt and I just don't have to be hearing more cries.. as I walk out of the room.. I would watch the two Baby Teddy Bears falls asleep.. I had to give the two a Bath.. putting the Bubbles into the bath tub.. the two enjoyed taking a Bath in the bubble.. I had to put them into the Crib because It was the bed Time.. I grab a Book and started to read them and I saw the two baby Teddy Bears.. the Little SON and the Daughter.. they both started to sleep while I was reading a children's book.. as I watch the two sleeping.. I would smile looking at the two children.. they are so Beautiful.. of course they are Your Babies so it makes it more beautiful for me to see.. as I would walk out of the room.. I go into my room and sit on the chair.. with the desk.. I am looking at Your Picture.. and it is the Picture of YOU and the two Baby Teddy Bears.. the Little SON sitting on your Lap.. and the Daughter.. she is sitting on the couch next to YOU.. with a Yellow Bow on top of the Head.. My Heart moves.. LOOKING at this picture.. My Heart screams from the Inside.. and I have bought an Art.. the GIANT SKETCH BOOK.. and I would sit.. wanting to draw the Picture of YOU.. with the two Children.. am I loving YOU more.. I can't stop looking at Your Picture.. with the two children.. the Little SON and the Daughter.. why did you have to come and introduce me to the two.. when ever I look at the two.. I am only seeing YOU more but my Heart just loves YOU more.. when the two sits next with me.. and I watch them smile.. it kills me inside because they make me smile.. my heart lights UP on fire when I see the two.. I am holding the hands of the Little SON.. I try to get him to walk.. but He sits and cries instead.. trying to teach the BABY TEDDY BEAR.. the Little SON to walk.. I remember I called YOU on the Phone.. and I wanted to face time.. and I saw YOU on the Phone.. with my two hands.. I held the two hands of the Little SON.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. trying to get two legs to get UP.. and through the Face time YOU saw your SON.. and he falls and starts to cry.. and the Daughter starts to cry with her Brother.. and I had to let you go on the Face time.. and I am sitting on the chair.. looking at the Picture and thinking of these little flashbacks.. and I grab the Pencil.. which it is use to draw.. but I just could not draw.. I know that YOU be coming soon.. when YOU come.. I know the two Little Ones.. the Two Baby Teddy Bears are going to go with you.. that Means.. it is going to break my Heart.. not just going to be missing YOU but also the two Little ones you brought.. I know that I needs to do this.. so I would look at the Picture of YOU.. Looking at the Little SON sitting on top of Your lap and LOOKING at the Daughter who is sitting next to YOU.. OH MY HEART.. these precious Little Ones.. MY Heart.. what are you doing to this Heart of Mine.. why did YOU have to bring them to Me

A children's book and starts to read or they will Not go to sleep.. so I would look at the Phone.. and I would see YOU.. and the two baby Teddy Bears.. they know it is MOMMA on the Other side.. and I would give the Daughter the Phone.. and I see her looking at YOU and with a Big SMILE.. waving hand at YOU.. and I would open the Book.. and I would start to read the sentences.. paragraphs it becomes.. and I can hear YOU on the Phone telling the Two LITTLE ONES.. and the Daughter would hand to the LITTLE SON.. and Looks at YOU.. Looking at MOMMA.. and I can hear YOU on the Other side asking the two Children.. what is the story about and to explain to YOU.. as I would read and Pause.. I hear answers coming out trying to answer the questions.. and I sit still.. the two Baby Teddy Bears.. both looking at YOU through the Face TIME of the Phone.. trying to tell YOU the answers.. Fussing and bumping into each other.. of course.. after a time.. I would watch the two Letting YOU go on the Other side.. and I would look at the two Little Ones looking at me.. and I would continue to read the Children's Book.. open my mouth loud and clear.. and I would watch the two.. the eyes would get heavy and both sleeps on the Floor.. One at a time.. I would pick UP.. with the Daughter first.. putting Her into her crib and then I would go and pick UP the Little SON.. which I would stand still.. Holding Him in my arms like he is my SON.. and I would slowly put him into his crib.. and turning Off the Light.. I would leave the room.. I am sitting in my room.. just thinking about the day.. I would love to draw the sketch.. but I know that I am not that good in drawing at all.. I am truly terrible at it.. I am not sure why I grab me the Art Pencil when I know that I just can't finish it.. but deep in my heart.. I do want to draw YOU.. and looking at the Picture.. the two Baby Teddy Bears.. Not just YOU but with the two children on the Picture.. but My Heart just won't let me do it.. because I know it will shatter inside because I love YOU.. My Heart will shatter into pieces because I know that the two will be leaving soon.. of course I wish that the two Little Children can stay more longer.. but the More longer they are with me.. More I feel like it is Hurting me instead.. what if I would say to YOU.. don't let the children leave me.. I would be crazy before Your Eyes and I know that they belong.. they came with YOU and that is why I know they must go with YOU.. My Heart just can't accept that the two Baby Teddy Bears be leaving me soon.. and it is hurting me right Now because I know this.. of course they must go with YOU.. as I sit still in the silent.. I receive a Message from YOU.. and YOU have sent me something.. it is a New Picture of YOU.. and YOU are showing me.. telling me where YOU are.. and as I would look on the Phone to take a look at the New Picture of YOU.. and I know that the Children.. the two Baby Teddy Bears will love this Picture of YOU.. of their MOMMA.. which YOU are smiling in this One.. that YOU are doing so GOOD.. this is what I wanted to see.. what I wanted to hear.. and I hear the phone ringing.. and I picked UP the Phone to hear Your Voice.. and I would tell YOU.. after the face time.. I know that the children.. the two Baby TEDDY BEARS would be arguing and they would fuss at each other because they wanted to give YOU the answers.. and Yes.. I had to let YOU go to get this issue solved.. did I finish reading the children's BOOK.. while I was reading the stories to them.. I saw the eyes.. the Daughter first.. the eyes grew tired and I saw the two eyes would close and She lay on the floor sleeping.. I would keep on reading the Children's book and I would look at the eyes of the Little SON.. which he grew tired too.. both eyes started to close and He lays on the floor sleeping next to his sister.. I would keep on reading for at least 30 more minutes.. as I close the Children's Book.. I would pick UP the Daughter first and Put her in the Crib.. and I would go over to the Little SON and Pick Him up next.. Putting HIM into his crib.. and I stood watching the two sleeping.. holding the Daughter.. the BABY TEDDY BEAR in my arms.. I hear I miss MOMMA.. as I would walk out of the room where the two are sleeping.. I would be thinking of YOU and I go into my room.. sitting on the chair next to the desk.. I would LOOK at the Picture of YOU with the two Little ONES.. BABY TEDDY BEARS.. the Daughter and the Little Son.. the Little SON sitting on your Lap and the Daughter sitting next to YOU with the Little Yellow Bow on top of her Head.. I wanted to draw picture of YOU with the two children.. and I kept on looking at Your Picture.. trying to draw I just could Not.. then YOU called Me.. all I wanted to say is this.. that I miss YOU and that I love YOU too.. missing YOU so much hurts me right Now.. so Please come Home soon.. I am trying to draw Picture of YOU.. grabbing the Pencil and Looking at the sketch paper.. the Picture is in front of me as I am sitting by the desk.. as I am smiling looking at the Picture of YOU.. I just can't believe I have your Picture.. YOU are the Most Beautiful.. Just too beautiful to be true.. and the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on my Lap.. The most Beautiful Baby Boy.. I am trying to concentrate drawing.. the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on my Lap.. I see the hands trying to grab the Pencil.. losing me to Put the Pencil Down.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. this little Son.. starts to cry.. wanting to hold the Pencil.. I tell this baby Teddy Bear.. I am trying to draw a picture.. why can't You just sit on my lap and just watch me Draw.. I am looking at your Picture.. and I just want to see YOU.. the baby Teddy Bear looks at my eyes and turns to look at the direction I am looking at.. This Little Son looks at your Picture.. and hands wants to grab your Picture.. and tries to get closer to the Picture.. But.. I would pull the Baby Teddy Bear away.. and He looks at me starts to cry.. saying that is MOMMA.. and I just can't believe.. this Baby Teddy Bear knows the Picture is YOU.. knows who his Momma is.. and as I would pull away.. I want to draw.. I tell the Baby Teddy Bear.. Please.. let me draw on the sketch paper.. I hear another Crying on the back.. it is His Sister.. and they are twins.. two Baby Teddy Bears.. One.. the sister is sleeping on the Bed.. the Daughter.. and I can hear a crying and I would turn to look back.. and I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. she has woken UP from sleep.. and Looking for MOMMA.. and I turn around.. as I get up.. the Little Son.. He starts to cry as I am holding.. I turn away from the desk.. holding the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. Now I hear both crying.. Both crying for their Momma.. and as I put the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear on the Bed.. next to His sister.. both are crying as I am looking at the two Baby Teddy Bears.. I just don't know what to do.. when Both are crying together.. looking for Momma.. and it breaks my Heart because I do also Miss YOU as well.. I want to see YOU.. then I wonder how these two Baby Teddy Bears be feeling.. when they belong to YOU and being that part of family.. I am watching both crying and crying.. hands are asking to be Hold.. and I am just standing here.. ALL I wanted to do is to draw picture of YOU.. sitting by the desk.. looking at the picture of YOU.. and just to draw the picture.. to know how much I love YOU.. and I wanted to show YOU and to give it as a gift to YOU.. but it seems like it is Not working at this point.. What am I suppose to Do.. the two baby Teddy bears are crying.. they are looking for MOMMA.. am I suppose to call YOU.. because they will not stop Crying.. I can't even draw picture of YOU any More because.. they are crying.. I can't concentrate with Two babies crying.. as I would look.. I would pick up the Phone.. but when I picked UP the Phone.. it was YOU who was calling.. and I would hear your voice on the Other side.. I smile because I was about to call YOU.. and YOU have read my mind.. asking about How the two baby Teddy Bears be doing.. and YOU can hear the two crying.. the twins.. Baby Girl and baby Boy.. both crying for MOMMA.. and I would look at the two.. and I would tell the two.. It is MOMMA on the Phone.. and I see both stops crying and I would give the Phone to the Daughter first.. and I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. hands grab and pulling away from His sister.. wanting to hear the voice of their MOMMA.. and I am just.. my Heart.. My Chest.. My Heart.. How much these two are missing their MOMMA.. wanting to see.. I see both ears.. trying to listen to the Voice of their MOMMA.. and I would look at the two.. they are so Beautiful.. both.. the twins.. the Baby Teddy Bears.. both so Cute but so Beautiful.. I would turn around.. and I do remember.. I was sitting down on the chair.. by the desk.. Looking at your Picture.. I would look and say to Your Picture.. when can I see YOU.. will you let me hold YOU.. will you let me love YOU.. I know I can love you the way YOU want to be held and want to be loved.. I know that I can love you in a way you would never felt before.. I can tell YOU.. tell YOU how much I miss YOU.. How Much I love YOU.. but.. YOU have to give me the permission.. allow me to tell YOU that I love YOU.. and I would be looking at your Picture.. when will you come around so that I can see YOU.. My hand grabbing unto the Pencil.. looking at a sketch of paper.. My hand starts to trace.. using the pencil to draw.. and I am looking at your picture.. to draw you on this sketch paper.. and right when I was about to go deeper.. I hear a knock on the door.. DOK DOK DOK.. and I am wondering.. who be knocking at the front door at this time of hour.. it is getting late.. and I am thinking.. maybe I am just too tired that I am hearing things.. so I would begin to use my hand to draw.. I hear another Knocking

Their MOMMA.. what am I suppose to do then.. because I have No experiences at all.. and I see you get closer.. trying to hand me over the Little SON.. and as I would hold on with my arms.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son starts to cry.. and I see the Little SON.. arms stretching out to YOU.. because He does not want to come to me.. the Cry gets louder and louder.. and arms stretching out to YOU.. wanting to Go to YOU instead of Me.. and His cry so Loud.. hurting my ears.. and I am not sure.. It is so hard for me to control.. and I would ask YOU to come inside.. I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter starts to cry too.. both being very loud cries.. I just don't know what to do.. why are you leaving them with Me.. they are both crying loud for YOU.. asking to take them with YOU.. My Heart hurts.. it hurts because I know How it feels to be in a pain when YOU leave.. as YOU would try to give me the Other Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. She is even more worst.. YOU had to hold Her close.. and She would sleep in your arms.. Would not even come to me.. kicking and screaming when YOU try to get her close to me.. and what happens when the Other Baby Teddy Bear wakes UP and knows YOU are not in the House.. but has left her with Me.. the Other Baby Teddy Bear will find Out that YOU are gone.. but for now.. she may sleep.. if the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter did not come to me when YOU were here.. I know she is Not going to come to me when I am alone with Her.. I feel so Bad.. My Heart breaks as I would watch the Little SON.. He sees you walking.. the BABY TEDDY Bear starts to crawl after you.. I am watching.. my eyes.. I feel my tears going to pour out.. as I see you walking fast.. going to the front DOOR and the Little SON.. the Baby Teddy Bear crawls crying after you.. as I watch YOU leave the front door.. and the door closes behind.. the Little Son.. baby Teddy Bear sits and cries.. and sits by the door waiting for YOU as He keeps on crying for his MOMMA.. I am standing behind.. just wiping my tears.. It hurts.. this Pain.. it feels like a sharp pain has entered in me.. It hurts watching the Little Son.. hurting.. crying for his Momma.. and turn to look at me crying.. tears hitting the floor.. and turns to look at the door.. what do I do.. tell me.. what am I suppose to do when It hurts me just watching One breaking Heart.. what do I do.. I wanted to go.. Open that front Door and run after YOU.. grab Your Arm and pull and to let YOU see.. LOOK at the Little SON.. look at HIM crying.. why do I have to be the one to watch His tears run down like this.. WHY do you have to break my Heart when I have done nothing to YOU.. why come over and look at the Heart pieces falling apart.. WHY do I have to be the one with the Broken Heart.. it hurts me more than It hurts YOU.. as I would walk.. closer to the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son.. keeps on crying.. pointing to the Door.. wanting to go with YOU.. but.. I know that I can't take this Little ONE to YOU.. and I am just standing here.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do at this Point.. because I can't help this Little Son.. even though I want too.. but.. YOU be telling me you wanted to be time alone.. you just wanted so time off.. to refresh Your Head and that is why YOU are leaving and has made me to be the Baby sitter for the Two Baby Teddy Bears.. I know you have brought all that is needed for them.. so that part I am ready to do what I was told me to do.. but.. I just can't take the pains of the two baby Teddy Bears be crying.. Now.. I am looking at the two Baby Teddy Bears.. both sitting on the top of the Bed.. with the Phone in their Ears listening to Your Voice.. Both looks at each other and smiles knowing that They are hearing their MOMMA on the Other side.. so I am getting closer.. and I am wondering.. few days.. but when is that the few days end.. so that I can focus on drawing picture of you on the New Sketch Paper Book I just bought from an Art Shop.. I want to draw a picture of YOU and to show YOU when it is all completed.. I be drawing YOU.. for a long time I wanted to draw a picture of YOU.. I know that I am Not good in drawing.. but I do want to try so that I can tell YOU.. I can show YOU this is My Heart.. Not Just My Heart.. but it is My Love.. this is a way I want to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. but I need a time alone.. I need my own time.. if the two Baby Teddy Bears are here.. I know that I can't draw anything.. so I would get close to the Two baby Teddy Bears.. I am asking if I can have the phone Back.. so that I can talk to YOU.. but it seems like the two Baby Teddy Bears does Not want to give me the Phone.. they want to hear their Momma speak on the Other side.. I see the smiles and giggles together.. it look so beautiful.. how the two are so Beautiful when they smile.. just like their MOMMA.. YOU are the most Beautiful when YOU smile.. as I would watch the Phone being hung UP.. and the two sitting on the Bed.. looking at me.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do now.. they just looks at me.. and both starts to cry.. crying loud wanting to see their MOMMA..I am sitting by the desk.. I am looking at the shot glass.. and grabbed the Bottle of whiskey and poured into the Shot glass.. placing the whiskey down.. picked up the shot glass.. opened my mouth and take a shot.. I am trying to forget YOU.. but I just can't.. I have placed your picture on the top of the desk.. I keep on looking at this picture.. I tell myself I needs to stop.. but I feel like I needs to keep on looking.. I would look at your picture and say.. why are you doing this to me.. why do I have to keep on looking at you.. of course I have a pencil and a clean white sheet of paper.. I want to draw.. looking at your picture.. I want to draw the picture of you.. but I know that I am not that good in drawing at all.. but I can feel.. this whiskey starts to kick my head.. I feel light headed and buzzing.. I know I drank so that I can forget you.. but why is it that I am missing you more now.. I just can't take my eyes off of you.. as I am looking at your picture.. why can't your picture talk back to me.. I want to hear something from you.. but no matter how many times I am going to tell you looking at your picture.. I will not hear anything from the Other side.. but I want to hear from you.. Please.. tell me something so that I don't feel the light headed I am feeling at this point right now.. YOU know that I love you.. I can tell you many times that I love YOU.. can you tell me something.. can you hear me say the words to YOU.. I love you.. and I grab the pencil.. starts to trace and starts to draw.. of course I am looking at your picture.. as I stopped.. putting the pencil down.. I have drawn a picture of a Heart.. I know that I am missing your Heart.. and I am looking at this pieces of paper.. looking at the Heart.. this is suppose to be your Heart.. so that I can touch it.. as my hand touches the paper.. my hand touch the Heart.. can you feel my hand.. I am touching your Heart.. can you please tell me that you can feel my Hand touching your Hand.. as my eyes would look at the picture.. it is YOUR Heart I drew.. maybe you would tell me that Heart does not look like yours at all.. I told you that I am not an artist who can paint or draw pictures.. but I know that I can try to draw a Heart.. it is only Your Heart I want to draw.. I want to touch your Heart too.. How about me write my Name on this Heart.. and can I take this piece of paper and give it to YOU.. telling you that I have wrote my name so that YOU know that it is me who loves YOU and asking you to remember my Name.. so that you know that I love you.. I belong to YOU only.. so please.. tell me that I can.. as I grab the bottle of whiskey and pour into the shot Glass.. and place the bottle of whiskey on the top of the desk.. I grab the shot glass and open my mouth and take a shot.. I can feel it burning.. it feels like it wants to burn my Heart instead.. why.. I don't know.. you tell me why.. because I want to hear from you saying that I am allowed too.. as I am sitting down.. looking at the piece of paper.. looking at the Heart I drew.. I turn to look at your picture.. and I would hear a Crying.. I am wondering.. who is crying at this time of night.. is it my Heart.. is My Heart crying from the inside.. is it because of the whiskey.. the shot glass.. the shot of this whiskey.. I don't think my Heart would cry because of it.. and I would sit still.. maybe it is this Heart.. the Heart I drew.. which it is suppose to be Your Heart.. so is Your Heart crying.. and I would sit still trying to figure out why I am hearing crying.. and the Cry I am comes behind me.. and I would turn to look back.. and when I turn to look back.. I see a Teddy Bear.. the arms are stretching out.. and keeps on crying.. and I am wondering.. when did this Teddy Bear got here.. it is smaller and wearing a blue shirt.. must be.. and I would stand up from the chair.. and I hear from the Teddy Bear crying.. MOMMA.. and I stop.. I just can't.. I see tears in the eyes of this Baby Teddy Bear.. and He is crying for Momma.. and I am thinking.. why are you asking me for MOMMA.. I am trying to get over and I grab the Picture and I walk to the bed.. the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on the top of the bed.. and I would sit next to the Baby Teddy Bear and I show the picture.. and I would point.. is this Your MOMMA and the Baby Teddy Bear head goes UP and down telling me that YOU are.. I am wondering.. I am trying to get.. How come now.. and the Baby Teddy Bear wraps the arms around your Picture.. I think you must be a Son.. I am very confused.. so YOU are looking for Momma and the Baby Teddy Bear cries and cries and cries looking for YOU.. and I am sitting down.. what am I suppose to do.. and I start to feel my tears running down.. if you keep on crying.. how about me.. you are going to make me cry with you and I would grab the Picture

MAH MAH.. I walk out the room.. Pulling out the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I just can't stop.. I been thinking of YOU a lot lately.. and I needs to go see YOU.. but How.. and as I am standing out.. I would turn to the Left.. I see the Horse.. and it belongs to the Older Man who teaches me.. maybe this time.. and I would look at the Art sketch paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. YOU know that YOU may Not see me.. but I will be at the Palace.. I will only be like a Shadow.. like the wind.. YOU can't see Me.. but YOU know that I am there.. knowing because I love YOU.. and I would Fold the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU in my Back.. and I would walk.. I stop by the Horse.. and I would get back on this Black Horse.. I would hit the Horse likely and the Horse starts to RUN.. as I am riding on the Back of the Horse.. feeling the Wind in my face as the Horse keeps On running down the Road.. all I can think of is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even though I may not be close.. even though you may Not see Me.. I know that as long as I can see YOU.. just seeing YOU from a Far is all I can ask for.. even though I may Not be able to say or tell YOU what My Heart truly feels or expresses to YOU.. as Long as my eyes sees that YOU are doing good.. that is ALL I am asking for.. the Horse keeps On running down the road.. all through the Day.. I see this Horse.. this Black Horse keeps on going.. it feels Like me.. Just cannot stop but keeps On going.. as I would watch the SUN Setting down.. when I look on the side.. I see the waters.. and the Horse would run slowly as it stops.. I give this Horse.. the Black Horse some rest.. I get Off the Horse.. Now.. as I would walk close to the waters.. there are group of guys by the waters.. and I would turn to look at One of the guys.. and I would stand still.. as I would pull the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. and it is killing me inside that I can't be close to YOU.. Now.. one of the guys.. he comes closer and takes a LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and Looks at me.. and I tell Him.. Yes.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU are asking me.. I am a Low Born servant.. and I know I can't even Look at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. who am I to love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am Not suppose to ever put my eyes on YOU.. and the penalty for getting caught is Death.. even though I know that If I break this Law.. But.. if YOU take a LOOK at me.. I am already Dead.. so I have No more fear.. I have already broken this Law and just ready to Die any time SOON.. but what can I do.. if I love YOU.. is this My fault.. How is it my fault if My Heart is the One who is causing this Kind of trouble.. this Kind of problem in my life.. I am just going what My Heart truly Needs.. and the Guy looks at me.. He works at the Palace.. and He is the Palace Guard at the Door.. and I just could Not believe.. he came just for a break with Other friends who works at the Palace.. they are all guards at the door.. and I just could Not believe.. He is going to help me to take to where YOU are.. tells me Not to tell any one because.. My Heart.. WHICH only Loves YOU.. as I would watch the waters on this Night.. I just could Not sleep.. but.. for the Longest time.. it has been so long since I saw YOU.. it is a Picture of YOU when YOU are YOUNG.. Now.. the Guy who came with his friends.. one of them had an Art Sketch Picture.. but it is the recent Picture some one drew.. and the guy's friend showed me.. as I took into my hands.. YOU just blew my Mind.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have become so Beautiful.. when did YOU grew UP looking so Beautiful Like this.. and as I am looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the recent drawing of YOU.. My eyes could Not Help.. but my tears.. it just could NOT let it sit and I felt.. my tears just ran down as I am looking at the recent Picture.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. and I am wondering.. the Guy looks at me.. even his friend Loves YOU too.. I am thinking.. I know there must be More but.. it does Not matter with me.. as the Sun starts to rise.. the Guy.. he came with three friends and Got into the Horse.. and gave me this New.. the recent Picture of YOU.. and I would walk down away from the waters.. and I get ON the Back of the Black Horse.. the four of the guys starts to ride the Horses.. as I get on the Black Horse.. I would ride this Horse following the Four Horses.. and Now.. I never knew that I am able to get this Close.. I just can't believe it.. My dreams are coming true.. How could this Be.. as the Horses would run down and the towns.. the villages are passing By.. and the two Guards by the Fortress Gates.. the Four Guards show the badges and they are able to get me Inside.. the Gates Open wide.. and the Four guards riding on the Horses.. and I am behind the Four Palace Guards following in the Black Horse.. as the Horses keeps On going and running down this road.. the path.. and it leads to the palace gates.. two Guards.. Opens the front gates.. as the FOUR PALACE GUARDS shows and lets me in with them.. and Into the back gates they go.. as the Horses all slow down.. the Guy who I first talked too.. He gets out of the Horse and He points at the Chamber on TOP.. that is where YOU are.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Other Guard tells me that YOU are not there.. that the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. is at the training ground.. and HE is the One who leads.. as I get off the Black Horse.. walking across on the Other side.. and there is the Fence.. as I walk with the Other Guard.. I would stop.. from the back.. I pull out the Recent.. Art sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. as grown.. I just can't believe you have grown this Much.. so much Prettier and never imagined YOU be this Beautiful in my life.. Now the Other Guard stops and looks back.. I just can't believe.. I am going to see the Crown Princess.. do YOU not see this.. LOOK.. I am at the palace.. and going to get to see closer LOOK at the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is Like a Dream come true.. I was truly worried about.. How am I going to see YOU.. I know that I have No business at the Palace. NO guards are going to let me In but.. it is a true Miracle that I am here.. and get to meet.. the Other Guard looks and smiles.. and He turns to lead the way.. as I am following HIM.. in my hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the RECENT drawing picture of YOU.. and I see the other Guard.. He stands by the fence.. and He stops.. and I am walking.. my Heart.. It is beating so Fast.. why do I feel so excited.. why is My Heart beating.. is it beating or dancing from the Inside.. and I stop by the Fence.. and as I let down the Art Sketch Paper.. the Recent drawing picture of YOU.. I see YOU stand there.. the Other Guard points.. that is the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. who is in control in that training ground.. and I see YOU from the distance.. and there are many MEN.. the new recruits as YOU are the One over seeing and teaching them with the Stick.. and My Heart.. Are you really holding the Sword.. the way of the swordsmanship.. as YOU turn toward the Fence.. YOU see two men.. and YOU stop.. showing the form of the Arts of swordsmanship and LOOKS.. as I see YOU looking at me and the Other guard.. It just can't be.. is it really YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and of course YOU don't know who I am because it has been such a Long time I saw YOU.. and I would kneel.. two knees.. and the Other Guard kneels with me on two knees.. Head Looks on the ground.. arms forward.. and I see YOU are coming.. walking over to the Fence.. and I just can't look at YOU.. why can't I breathe.. why is it so Hard for me to breath and YOU stop by the fence.. and the Other Guard would answer YOU.. and YOU turn to LOOK at me asking me.. and I would lift UP my Head.. and I would LOOK at Your eyes.. DO YOU not remember Me.. right Now I am at the Older man's House.. he is my master my teacher at this Point.. but.. YOU don't remember Me.. and I see YOU looking and with Question.. it is me.. at the Garden.. when YOU came Long ago.. when we were younger.. and my Father who was the Head over the servants.. who served the King but was servant to the CROWN PRINCESS.. which is YOU.. and my Hand went back to Pull out the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I lifted it UP before Your eyes and I see your hands grab hold unto.. DO YOU not remember this Picture.. this Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. when we were little.. before YOU left.. I asked a Boy.. and HE had to get your Permission.. and YOU allowed that BOY to draw YOU and the Boy would give me this Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. the boy say.. I am good to have this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. this drawing picture of YOU.. by the tree.. before YOU told me that YOU could never come back to the Garden.. that WHEN I grew to be older.. for YOU to know.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU told me to bring this to YOU so that YOU will remember who I am.. and it was YOU who allowed me to have this.. to keep this.. that one day when I come to this palace.. when I bring this to show YOU who I am.. YOU will know that it was ME.. the lowly born servant at the garden who never stopped Loving YOU.. I came all the way just to tell YOU that I have grown.. and YES.. that I am going to enter the king's service and to Be a Palace Guard.. so that I can come close to YOU.. to protect YOU and to defend this nation.. I told you this when I was little.. when I was young.. I told YOU.. before YOU left for good.. I told YOU I promise I will come

MAH MAH.. Would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is when YOU were Little.. the Boy WHO gave it to ME.. who told me that I have the Permission from YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. LOOKING at the Tree.. by the Garden.. I am always thinking about the Garden because it was the first TIME.. when I saw YOU coming.. riding on the Horse.. YOU wanted to see How the Garden feels.. it was when I saw YOU there.. when I started to LOVE you at the Garden.. as I am looking at one of the new Recruit.. He looks at me and swings the WOODEN SWORD at me.. and He misses as I go back.. with the WOODEN SWORD stick I am holding.. I would swing Forward and It hits the new recruit and He falls to the Floor.. to the ground.. I am standing.. holding a stick in my hand.. Looking at the Sun rising before my eyes.. I know that I must get ready.. the Other hand pulls Out the Art Sketch paper.. it is the drawing of YOU.. I can hear my Heart beating so Fast when I look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. I am getting ready and preparing these Men.. the MEN who came to YOU.. the New recruits.. I had NO idea that YOU would put me on the front Line.. to prepare these Men.. these YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits.. WHY would you give me this Mission.. why would you give me the Permission to teach and to train these YOUNG MEN.. YOU know that I am Not that GOOD.. but Like HOW you gave me the Order and has commanded me to do so.. There are A lot of Other Generals.. the Superior before Me.. the Aged and well fought.. who are better Instructors and even YOU have the Chief Generals.. even the Great Commanders.. who has lead many victories over many wars they fought.. and I just don't understand why YOU put me in charge and gave me this KIND OF Order to do So.. I am Not even well trained.. did NOT fight many wars or has lead many soldiers to WIN many victories of Wars.. but WHY did YOU put me in Charge.. and I am looking at the Picture.. the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. as I am standing.. YOU also gave me few Men.. there are Seven of My Friends who are standing with me and with me they are standing Behind me.. I only came here.. just to be a Palace Guard.. just to guard the back door of the Palace.. Never imagined that I would come this very far.. so Close to YOU.. Only thing I ever wanted to ask of and say to YOU is how much I love YOU.. I only wanted to express deeply my Love for YOU.. never thought that I be here today.. as I am watching the Sun Rise.. before me are the tents.. and very SOON the New Recruits are going to come Out of the tents they are sleeping in and I have to begin the training for the New Big War.. as the Seven Men are behind Me.. I am looking forward.. I see the Men.. the New recruits walking Out their tents.. My tears.. two lines are falling down both eyes.. I just can't believe I have to do this.. But I am not even experienced veteran at war.. I am Not even the general.. Not even the TOP general or the Chief general.. Not even the Commander or the Great Commander.. those MEN has years of many experiences of striking and WINNING in wars.. but why did MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH choose me to do this.. there are great war veterans.. WHAT AM I suppose to teach.. what Words MUST I say.. how can I lead victories for the Next war.. and I would watch all the YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits walking Out and they all stood in the Line just waiting.. I don't know what to DO.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and I would say.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. WHY did You give me this Kind of Order.. why did YOU commanded me to train and to teach.. to instruct these YOUNG RECRUT MEN.. what if I fail trying too.. and I would put the arm down holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. the Closest Friend takes the Art Sketch paper in my hand.. and I turn my Head aside.. and I would look.. by the Fence.. I see YOU there.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. sitting on the Horse.. I see YOU with the BIG CROWN on your Head.. standing around are the COMMANDERS.. the Chief Generals.. the Great Commanders of War.. I see the TOP Generals behind YOU and YOU are looking at me.. and I see YOU pulling Out the Sword.. telling me that the training has Begun.. But.. something stops Me.. something stops me to go further.. I don't know what it is because these are YOUR new recruits.. these are Men that came here for YOU.. to Fight for the Next war.. to Fight for the Next Battle Field.. these are the MEN who are going to Die if they are NOT trained right.. who came to protect and to defend YOU.. for the Nation and for YOU to be their QUEEN.. even though YOU are the Crown Princess right Now.. what am I doing right Now.. I would fall down on both Knees.. and I put my arm up forward and I would Lower my Head before YOU.. and I see you pointing the Sword to me.. telling me to speak.. and I lift UP my Head and I look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. these are YOUNG NEW MEN.. New recruits.. they are Unexperienced and has Not trained for years.. do NOT know what it is Like to fight in the Battle fields of War.. How can YOU let me be the trainer or the Instructor.. I know that I might sound so weak.. but it is the Lives that YOU are putting Under.. they have Lives and the Lives are very special and precious.. because of my Wrong.. I don't want to see the YOUNG MEN.. the New recruits to fall by the swords because of the wrong teaching or instructing.. that is why I am begging YOU to let someone else.. like the experienced and the veterans of war.. who lead men to victories to take my Place.. and I would see YOU looking at me.. but The sword.. I see the sword YOU are holding.. YOU lifted it UP higher telling me to GO.. and my Heart.. My Heart starting to beat so fast when I see YOU believe and Your Faith.. the trust YOU have.. telling me to go On.. My Heart.. starting to beat faster when I truly understood that Because I love YOU.. One thing that makes me so different is that I love YOU.. the Love that I have for YOU will never let others to fall because I love YOU.. I love YOU more and more and never stopped Loving YOU.. and I would look at YOU.. the Seven Men behind me.. they all fall on their two knees.. Arms UP forward and Heads all Lower before YOU.. and I see YOU still holding the Sword UP High.. and I know.. it means that Is it.. so I turn my Head.. LOOKING at the YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits.. and I know that these are YOUR MEN.. these are the defenders.. who are going to Protect YOU with Me.. and Yes.. NO ONE is going to stop us from trying Our Best.. I know that if I love YOU.. I will do whatever it takes to make YOUR MEN stronger.. make them more wiser and BE ready to walk into the War.. I Hear more voices and I turn the Other way.. where YOU are at.. I see More New Young Men.. More new recruits wants to join in the Military force.. and I have never seen such a Large Number of gathered.. the Guard at the gate by the Fence Opens and More YOUNG NEW RECRUITS.. who has passed the exam all runs Into the join the Camp.. the training ground.. and they stand in the back of the Line.. and I stand there looking at these Unprepared men.. I must.. wiping my tears from my eyes.. I must help them.. and I turn to LOOK at YOU.. ARM UP and Head lowers.. Your Sword Points to Me again and I would lift up my head and I would say to YOU.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I just wanted to say Thank YOU.. If you are asking why.. I remember I was by the Fence.. DO you not remember.. I was by the Fence waiting for the Chance.. there was a Guard telling me that I could Not come inside.. I had the Letter.. and the Older MAN who was the Instructor.. who was the One to teach me.. after I lost my Father.. I have fallen into great depression.. crying IN the Night.. and Just wanted to Give UP on life.. I remember the Only HOPE was go to YOU.. I walked for many days with out FOOD or Water.. did Not see the Winter and the great blizzard came and swept me away.. at that Moment I thought I was going to die.. I only thought of YOU.. and Kept on walking through the SNOW until I just could not walk any more and fell in the snow.. I wanted to cry.. as I was laying on the snow.. all I could think is YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. just to go and to see YOU.. before I die.. at least to tell YOU how much I love YOU and I closed two eyes.. I woke UP and I only called Out to YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. wanting to get close to YOU.. I was meant to die and said.. I am going to die any ways.. better to just die in the SNOW but.. I did Not die.. after waking UP in a Home.. the Older MAN started to teach me.. gave me an instruction and started to teach me the Art of Swordsmanship.. and He final gave me a Letter.. and Placed a Stamp saying I can go to the Camp.. the Guard by the Table told me I can go inside.. Large LINE to wait.. and It took me many days waiting in the Line and when It came to Me.. I was standing by the Fence.. the Guard who was by the gates told me I can't come in.. That day was the last day and I remember I saw YOU.. YOU came.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU stood with the Generals.. the TOP.. the CHIEF and the COMMANDERS.. Looking at the New Recruits who were the YOUNG MEN at that TIME.. I remember YOU turn your Head.. and as I was turning away leaving.. I heard you which it stopped me.. MAH MAH.. YOU did Not recognize me who was at the Garden.. but.. YOU stopped me as YOU wanted to see the Letter.. My Heart.. it started to beat again.. this was the Only way.. this was the Only road and I turn around to face YOU

MAH MAH.. Me down because LOOK.. I am still alive and well.. as I saw YOU and walking along side and I stopped and it made you stop and I would say to YOU.. I love YOU MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I love you and I would walk way back in the line with Many New Young Men who were recruits.. as I am LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. I remember still.. even this very day My Heart never changed.. because I still Love YOU.. both hands holding the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. this One has never been torn.. because I kept it safe.. close to My Heart.. and I would lift UP my Head.. I am LOOKING at YOU.. as YOU are sitting on the Horse.. with the White Dress.. your Sword still pointing direct at Me.. and I would say.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I have never stopped Loving YOU because I know that STILL at this Moment.. I still Love YOU and Yes.. I will take orders.. your Commands seriously and help rebuild Your Forces.. make them into warriors who will Fight for YOU.. who will protect YOU and defend this Nation because.. the Day I was rejected was the Day I saw YOU and that DAY was when YOU let me In.. I just wanted to tell YOU.. Crown Princess.. thank YOU for giving me the Chance to be a soldier who can protect and defend YOU and this Nation.. as I grab the stick.. putting the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU on the ground.. I get UP.. and the Seven Men who are behind me.. they are all get UP.. Arms stretch forward and the Heads all lower to YOU.. I would grab the stick.. the Seven MEN stays behind.. and I would walk down by myself.. and I would stand.. as One YOUNG MEN recruit walks Out.. He has the Stick in his Hand.. and I would shout.. to see How well does this YOUNG MAN can fight.. and I would turn to LOOK at HIM.. I would remember.. when I was at the Older Man's House.. In the ROOM.. I would be sitting Alone.. Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. I would be looking at YOU through that.. I would be asking.. I would be saying.. MAH MAH.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. I am trying to leave this Place.. I am trying so hard to leave.. so that I can be with YOU.. be close to YOU.. but I feel like I can't.. looking at this Picture.. this drawing picture of YOU.. I keep on missing YOU.. I needs to be with YOU.. and I can hear the DOOR.. it opens behind me.. and the Loud thunder and it is raining Hard out side.. the Older Man.. the teacher.. grabs my Back shirt.. my both hands opens to release the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and I let it go.. I feel the Pull from the back and He yanks Me out of the room and I fall Out side.. I just can't believe I am out side sitting as I am getting hit by the rain.. it is pouring down On me because it is raining so Hard.. I stood and sitting.. crying because I am missing YOU.. I want to go where YOU are.. It is aching and Pain in me.. I want to be where YOU at.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. when can I see YOU and be close to YOU.. I needs to go to YOU.. and a stick falls to the ground next to Me.. I felt so Lonely at One Point.. at the Lowest of My Life and It was Only YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. It was Only YOU.. I cried when I saw YOU gone.. I remember watching YOU leave.. Sitting on the Horse.. I kept on calling Out to YOU.. But it was one of the Servants who took Me.. and Told me that I just could Not go.. I was reaching Out both arms.. shouting Out.. as the Horse was leaving.. in the Garden I felt so Alone.. crying in the dark.. I just could Not believe that YOU were gone.. I stood alone.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. I just could Not stop.. But kept calling Out to YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I would watch the Moon come UP before Me.. and I would shout with the Loud Voice.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am going to YOU.. very soon I will go to YOU.. when I heard the News.. and MY father died.. and came to the Garden.. I saw His body and with the servants.. We would bury my father.. I just could Not take this kind of Pain any More.. as I sat that night.. My Father was gone.. my Mother died when I was very young.. and even whom I love.. which Is you.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even YOU.. I had to watch YOU leave me.. and Now.. there was NO reason for me to be at the Garden any more.. everything was Gone.. and whoever came to the Garden.. they were all taken away from me.. when I felt the Most lonely in my life.. the Only thing that remained close to my Heart.. It was the Art sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I would unfold and I would take a Look at YOU.. talking to the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I would say.. Is it okay if I go to YOU.. what If YOU do Not want me to be near.. But there is nothing else.. there is NO ONE else I can Love.. but Only YOU I truly Love.. Please.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. would you let me get close to YOU.. I needs to tell YOU something.. packing One bag I would carry in my back.. I would look at the Garden One last time.. and I cried looking at my Father's grave and I would leave.. telling that I am Not going to ever come back.. too many people who I loved are gone before me.. My Heart is broken already.. I don't need my Hear to break again.. so I left the Garden.. wanting to start a new Life.. and I was thinking of the Palace.. Your Kingdom.. wondering if I could enter.. since I knew who YOU were.. maybe I be your servant.. I be your slave then.. so I have set my eyes on Your Kingdom.. I wanted to get close to YOU.. walking through the Day.. I would Not eat.. not much Out in the desert.. so I had to stay hungry for few days.. I would stop for rest at Night.. LOOKING at the stars in the sky.. Looking at the Moon.. and I would unfold the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would Kiss the paper and say.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I will see you soon.. since I have No other place to Go.. I have made UP my Mind.. that I will come to YOU instead.. so I would take some rest.. thinking of YOU.. missing YOU.. sitting on rocks.. watching the Night passes by.. LOOKING at the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. early in the morning.. before the Sun sets.. I would start the Walk.. I have NO other place to go.. but I only wanted to see YOU.. to tell YOU that I would do anything to be close to YOU.. I be a servant.. Your Slave if YOU want me too.. so I started this journey to go to YOU.. did Not think that the winter storm was coming.. and It got so Cold.. I saw the snow flakes falling from the sky and dropping to freezing cold.. I begin to think about Death.. Maybe I won't make it after.. I am suppose to die here instead.. But I want to tell YOU something before I die.. I have to tell YOU one more time.. and I kept on walking through the freezing cold.. I would shiver and I would cry.. is it suppose to end like this.. that I always wanted to go to the Palace.. always dreamed of being close to YOU and to Love YOU.. even though YOU do not have to tell me anything.. I am Not asking YOU to tell me.. until you know in your Heart that YOU do.. if YOU truly love Me.. I believe Dreams will come true.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. If I die right here.. will YOU know that I never stopped believed in love.. I have never stopped believe that One day.. something Can happen.. and the lack of Food and the energy and the coldness of the air.. I just could Not continue to walk further so I fell on the ground.. and ALL I can hear is.. and ALL I wanted to tell YOU is that I love YOU.. that I never gave UP on love.. I truly feel it in my heart.. don't YOU know that I loved YOU and still do.. and I saw my tears ran down as I would close both eyes.. I would hear some noises.. and my two eyes opens.. and I am laying on the ground.. I turn my head too look.. an Older man was sitting.. reading pages of something and looks at Me.. I could Not believe that I did Not die.. But.. I heard.. it is the WILL to Live.. because I know that IN my Heart.. I am truly determined to Love YOU.. My WILL to Live so that I can Love YOU is what I got.. as I would hear.. I would be calling Out to YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. PRINCESS.. CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and even when I was on His back.. I would be calling Out to YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. that I needs to go to you.. and too see YOU.. and as I would be healing from the cold.. and the Low of energy cause of the lack of food.. the Older man became my teacher.. telling me that I can't go Now.. that I needed to wait and give some time.. and He was going to teach me the Art of War.. the Art of swordsmanship.. and Saw my Heart.. my Dreams of Loving YOU.. and to be protecting the Nation YOU were going to create.. and I would sit.. and I wanted to tell Him.. why.. and next to me is the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I wanted to tell this Older man.. I should just go.. and just go to YOU before it is just too Late.. but One thing that the Master told me is this.. if I truly love YOU.. I will be a Man.. a warrior who can Protect YOU.. Like a real MAN who fights.. and Just like my Dead father.. he was like the second father I really needed.. I would turn.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. But My Heart misses YOU.. what if I can't take this missing away.. I know that I miss YOU so much right Now.. what do I do when my Heart feels like it has been cut with a knife.. and My Heart right Now feels like bleeding to death.. and I wanted to say.. I should of been left to die instead because I knew I was going to die anyways.. but I looked at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and I would take a Look and would say.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. YOU do not know

I am looking at the Piano.. as I would walk into the room.. I look at your Picture.. wishing that YOU can see what I just got.. even though YOU may be far from Me.. at least send me Your Heart.. if I can have your Heart.. I will keep Your Heart safe here with Me.. looking at the Empty Glass jar.. I would Place the Empty Glass Jar on the TOP of the Piano.. and I wish that I can Place your Heart inside this Empty Glass Jar.. even though YOU are far.. Knowing and Looking at your Heart.. I know that YOUR HEART is close with me.. I pull up the Piano Chair closer to the Piano.. and I would sit on the chair.. only if I can get You here.. will YOU ever come closer to Me.. How do I get you closer to Me.. and I would look at the key bars of the Piano.. But.. I can't play the tune.. I can't even sing with my voice.. just sitting here.. it seems like it be better if I was Not here at the first Place.. But.. I can write YOU a Letter.. I know that I can tell YOU how much I miss YOU.. I can tell YOU with the Words.. with the Lips.. with my voice.. What I truly feel deep inside my Heart.. I put all my time when I grab the Pencil.. when I grab the paper.. and I grab the piece of paper.. I know that for sure I can write and tell you.. How I feel.. How it feels to be me here on the Other side.. as long as the Letter is able to get to YOU.. will you please receive the Letters.. will you please unfold the piece of Paper which be folded when I give it to YOU.. will you please open your Heart.. hear the words of Mine that comes from my Heart.. how much I love YOU.. How much I adore YOU and admire YOU and How much I miss YOU too.. you are wondering.. what is it about the Piano.. why am I bringing UP the word Piano to YOU if I can't sing.. or can't play tunes of the keys of the piano to bring Music alive.. why am I telling YOU or sharing you about the Piano.. because I want YOU to know.. I want to Place Your Heart.. I want to place your Heart on this Empty Glass Jar.. which is on top of the Piano.. so that when I look at Your Heart.. I can learn How to play the Piano.. it make take some time for me to Know How to Play.. but when I look at your Heart.. when I look at your Heart inside the empty glass jar.. I would look at your Heart.. it may inspire me to say I love you in a way YOU never felt before.. I would think of many different ways to tell YOU.. that I love YOU and that I want to say to Your Heart first.. I would like to tell Your Heart first so that YOU can truly trust me with Your Precious Heart.. without any trust.. there is NO way I can love YOU where YOU are able to love me back One day.. that is why I need Your Heart first with Me.. I remember when I was Young.. my Mother wanted me to Learn something new.. and bought a Piano for Me.. I wanted to learn something New.. wanted to tell a story through but when my Mother bought the Piano.. it was just too complicated for me to learn.. I would watch the Teacher come.. and she would play on the Piano.. I wish that I learned at that time because Now.. when I look at you.. I would LOOK at your Picture.. and I would say WOW.. I would say YOU are so Beautiful.. I would stand by the Piano and say.. YOU are as beautiful like the Piano because Now.. I want to play and make a Music for YOU.. I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I want to tell YOU MORE.. I want to step Out of the comfort zone and tell YOU what YOU means to me.. when ever I look at you.. through the Picture.. I would regret when I look at the Piano sitting in the Room.. because.. Now I want to play and make music so that I can tell YOU.. even though I may Not be able to sing YOU a SONG.. I would bring a recorder.. and would record my voice.. as my fingers would press on the key bars of the Piano.. I can at least speak to the recorder.. but before I would play on the Piano making Music to come alive.. I would be sitting in my bed room.. taking Out the Piece of paper.. I would write YOU a Letter first.. telling YOU my Heart.. speaking from my Heart.. and writing that comes from My Heart to let YOU know.. the Letter is Not the Only way I can tell YOU my Heart.. I would sit on the Piano Chair.. regretting because I did Not learn at that time.. I had the chance to learn when I was young.. but I only watched the teacher play.. looking at her back as she played and making Music.. pressing the Key bars.. to the sound of my ears it tingled because she Played so well.. if I only learned from that teacher.. only if I took the time to be more serious about learning the keys.. composing and writing the music Notes.. the keys.. I wonder what could of happened Now.. if I learned at that time.. which My Mother would say.. It be wise to learn this kind of instrument because when it is gone.. YOU will regret it when TIME passes by.. I would stand by the Piano.. I would sit on the Piano Chair.. looking at the key bars.. pressing the key bars.. only sounds but weird sounds will hit.. and I feel so terrible Not because I wish that I learned.. so that I can play for YOU.. so that I can tell YOU.. there is Much more ways to Tell YOU how much I love YOU.. I would even take the Piano out side.. even looking at the MOON in the Night.. when I miss YOU.. when I know that YOU are so Far away and I keep on missing YOU.. at least.. with tears in my eyes of Not able to hold YOU.. unable to be close to YOU and It hurts some nights.. I can play the Piano in the Night.. telling YOU.. looking UP at the MOON.. as my fingers hits the Key bars bringing music.. I would be pulling Out the Letter that is written for YOU and tell YOU a story of How much I love YOU.. if the neighbors would come out telling me about the Noises.. I would turn to that person and say.. DID YOU ever miss someone.. when it hurts.. it just hurts so much when YOU start missing.. I needs to say.. I needs to tell YOU this Heart of Mine.. there are times that it feels so painful.. it hurts.. I see tear drops out of my eyes.. so to take this anger out of My Heart for Missing YOU.. I needs to play YOU a SONG.. this Piano is my friend.. helps me to express what I feel when I am dealing with so Much sorrow in me.. that I love YOU but I miss YOU more.. why.. why do you keep on making me feel this way.. when YOU are so far off.. what am I suppose to do when I miss YOU.. and only thing that I can do is taking out the Picture.. the only thing I can do is pull the Picture out of my pocket.. and LOOK at YOU.. do YOU know How it feels when YOU just can't do nothing.. but only thing I can do is look at you in this Picture.. but I needs to tell YOU that I needs to be with YOU.. I needs to get this Off my Chest.. Off my Heart that I needs to be with YOU.. and it hurts me so much because I am dying right Now without YOU in my life.. and to keep my Anger and this pain.. this suffering away.. if I look at the Piano.. and I am able to pull the Piano chair closer.. and able to play the tunes of the Piano pressing on the key bars.. I know that I can tell YOU what I have written.. pressing the recorder.. as I am in the ROOM.. I would open up my Heart and say.. I miss YOU.. I am not sure why I am missing YOU so much right Now.. and I be asking.. do YOU ever feel the same as I do.. I don't want to hear the answer that is going to KILL me up inside but to ask YOU.. DO YOU miss me the way I do.. I have brought the Piano Out side.. the neighbors are telling me to be quiet and they needs to sleep.. but when I am sitting Out side.. with the Piano and the Chair.. I am able to look UP at the MOON and let the Moon hear my Voice.. asking the MOON.. do YOU hear me tonight.. even though I have the Recorder recording my Voice what I AM saying as the Letter is in front so that I can read it out Loud.. with tears of sorrow.. with My Heart be hurting.. I am missing YOU.. I am missing YOU so much right Now that I need YOU here.. can YOU Hear me.. I am out side.. can YOU hear the Piano Playing.. it is Me who is playing this Piano so that YOU can hear Me.. so that YOU know what I am doing right Now.. I want YOU to hear me.. that is why I have decided to buy another Piano.. a smaller where I can take it out side so that YOU can hear the key bars.. when you hear the sound of the Music coming out of the Piano.. YOU know that It is me.. which I am telling YOU.. I am hurting right Now.. I miss YOU right Now.. where are YOU so that I can tell YOU my Heart.. Please come Out.. come Out and hear this Piano playing.. making the Music to come alive.. only if YOU knew this Heart of Mine.. every time I am sad.. every time I feel this Pain.. every time I want to cry.. when I be missing YOU.. I will be playing the Piano out side.. where if YOU are able to see the MOON on the Other side.. YOU can hear me.. that I am crying right Now.. I am missing YOU right Now.. so you know that it is me on the Other side looking for YOU.. I am missing YOU.. I am missing YOU because YOU are so far away.. where are YOU.. Please tell me so that I know that How you be doing.. tell me so that I can go to YOU like the wind.. as I am standing.. I am looking at the Piano in the room.. I have the letter in my hand and On the Other hand I have your Picture.. thinking of YOU.. and just loving YOU even though I am not sure if I would ever meet YOU.. will I ever see YOU.. can YOU Please tell me that I can see YOU soon.. or do YOU want me to pull the Piano.. the smaller Piano and walk out side.. do YOU want to hear me playing.. when I play on this Piano.. just please remember I am wailing and I am crying on the Other side.. I am in the Room.. Looking out the window.. I see the rain showering down.. I would like to walk in the rain.. but it be nice If I take this Piano with Me.. I have written YOU another Letter.. I wonder if YOU can Hear Me Now.. I know that just standing Out alone.. and Turning to LOOK up.. LOOKING at the Moon and just speaking to the MOON.. that Moon does Not Hear Me

MAH MAH.. Will let YOU know about this journey How I came to be.. YOU know that I love YOU right.. and I would start to write YOU a Letter.. Like a Diary on paper.. and started to share.. putting into a BOX that the Older MAN gave me.. Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of You.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and every night.. I would go Out.. LOOKING at the MOON.. and I would pull out and unfold the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU and I would look at YOU.. I would walk into this One room that was given to me to sleep.. and I would write YOU.. each Night I would write as I would put this Letter into the Box.. knowing that One day.. some day SOON I will see YOU and I am going to give you the Box.. with the FULL of letters.. telling YOU what I been through those days when I felt alone.. when I felt very lonely and just kept on Missing YOU.. I would cry some nights.. that I told myself.. the main reason WHY I left the garden in the first Place is so that I can go to YOU.. and show YOU that I have come long ways just to be close to YOU.. but Now.. I feel like I am stuck here.. what am I suppose to do when I want to go see YOU.. and I would bump heads with the older man who told me to be patient.. to wait.. to wait until.. but I just wanted to go to see YOU.. How Long must I wait.. what if.. I would go out side into the Night.. and Unfold the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU and say.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. How long must I stay here.. I don't want to stay here for long because I want to go see YOU.. but I can't let go of my Dreams.. I have made a promise that I wanted to be a real MAN for YOU.. a WARRIOR and a Man who holds the sword so that I can fight to Protect Your Nation.. I want to also be Your Fighter who will never backs UP any fights that presses On.. but I am still having this Heart of Mine.. I want to see YOU.. see YOU how much YOU have grown.. I want to tell YOU.. for a Long time.. How I been loving YOU since.. and still I just can't let go of Loving YOU.. what do I do WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. can YOU please tell me what I must do.. because even for loving YOU seems like a fight for my Life.. tell me which way I must turn.. so that I can go.. help me to know.. and I would stand alone.. looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I would hear foot steps and goes back into.. when I turn back to Look.. I know that It was the older man.. the Teacher.. the Master who was there.. knowing How much I love YOU.. He told me that I have just too of a BIG dream.. and I told him.. I only live Once and I can only love Once too.. so I am going to love as Much as I can if it means One shot.. it is to Love my crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. as I would take a look.. and I would think about the Box.. and Putting One letter after another into the Box and it would be full of letters I would write to YOU.. telling YOU my Heart.. how each day counted and meant for something because I wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to be with YOU.. close to YOU to tell YOU.. I have this One Box.. can I show you this One Box and If you open this One Box.. it be many letters.. I was aching.. in pains I would tell YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. How much I missed YOU.. and what it felt like because I could not go to YOU Yet.. how delaying and spending more time with this teacher.. How I just did Not want to stay long because it seemed like He wanted me to stay there for a Long time instead.. But finally.. the day comes WHEN HE gives me a paper.. and HE puts HIs name and says that if I can take this Letter.. I am able to go into the opening of the Palace.. I waited for a Long time.. I waited for more than eight years.. that much time has passed by since.. and Now.. the paper is in my hands and I am allowed to go and be a part.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I always wanted to be a part of Your Dreams.. to be a Part of Your Nation which YOU are building.. and to go see YOU.. and a Friend.. close friend of Mine also is coming with Me.. to tell you that I love YOU and that I have never forgotten to tell YOU still I love YOU..I am Looking Up at the Moon.. the Seven Men are behind Me on Watch Guard.. the New Recruits are in the tents and they are all sleeping.. I would unroll the Paper.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. my hand runs over.. Looking at How Beautiful YOU are.. I have Never seen such a Great Beauty.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am getting the New Recruits.. the New Young Men.. So many people are waiting.. the Fences are blocking More New Recruits.. and I am Not sure where all these YOUNG MEN came from.. but.. Many wants to Join this Military Arts.. wants to join the Circle.. But it is YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. these are YOUR YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits who are.. and as I am Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I only saw you this Morning.. watching More YOUNG MEN.. the New RECRUITS.. By the Fences.. trying to get in.. but the Fences would Not let them Pass through.. as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. the training will start when the early Morning.. when the Sun comes UP.. I am going to prepare these YOUNG NEW RECRUITS.. they are going to come to this training Ground.. the Ones who passed the examinations and now.. ready to pick UP the WOODEN SWORD STICKS.. and I would be turning Back.. Looking at the Seven Men.. the friends of Mine.. and they all look at me with a SMILE.. and I turn to LOOK UP.. looking at the MOON.. Just thinking of YOU.. HOW far I came.. and How it is because I love YOU.. I never stopped Loving YOU and that is the Driving force behind of Never giving UP Hope.. it is because I love YOU.. I wish that WANGSEJABI MAH MAH knows this Heart of Mine.. that I would see.. A Messenger comes.. I hear the Horse running.. and the Horse stops.. the Messenger gets Down from the Horse and LOOKS at me and the Seven Men.. He shows me a Scroll.. and the Enemies are going to Come Back again.. and they want to fight again for this War.. it is Not Finished Yet.. and the Messenger tells me.. get the YOUNG MEN RECRUITS also ready for the war.. I watch the Messenger gets ON the Horse and He leaves out of sight.. as I am thinking about Another War.. I am Not sure if I will make this One alive.. But.. For YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. we Must Win for YOU.. so that YOU WILL BE our QUEEN.. and to make this Nation stronger and the People.. the New Recruits stronger to protect YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. DO YOU remember.. When I first came.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture.. as I am speaking looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture.. drawing picture of YOU.. and I would say to your Drawing Picture.. DO YOU NOT remember when I first came to the Training Ground.. I wanted to come.. I wanted to be the part of the Military Arts.. but My Heart.. I always believed that I will meet YOU one day SOON.. that I get to show YOU my Face.. I get to draw Near.. to get closer to YOU.. I remember it was in a Night like this.. and as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. I would go back to the Good Ole Days.. I am sitting in the ROOM.. with the Closet Friend.. I am looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. and I would smile.. I will see YOU soon.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please be Patient and wait.. I know that I be meeting you so SOON.. I lost my Father.. but there was a Older MAN who became Like a Father.. taught me the Arts of Swordsmanship.. and has told me.. it is TIME for me to enter the training Camp.. the Training Ground.. and Gave me a Letter.. with the Stamp.. I would be looking at the Letter.. and His Mark of stamp.. on the Other Hand is the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I can't believe this Teacher gave me this Stamp Letter.. which Allows me to go direct into the Training Ground.. and I know.. the Next day.. Many are going to enter the training Ground.. or the Camp which YOU MUST pass in the Camp to go into the Ground.. but This Letter.. with the Stamp.. for Many Years.. I have been waiting for this day to Come.. for Many Years.. I would be coming Out side.. and I would LOOK UP to the MOON.. and I would ask.. I will be there very SOON.. I know that the distance between YOU and I seems a LONG WAY.. but I believe.. I know.. why.. because I know my Heart.. My Heart which Loves YOU.. I have Never stopped thinking of YOU.. I have never stopped Loving YOU.. YOU may Not know It.. when YOU LOOK at the distance between YOU and the MOON.. it is very Far to touch that MOON.. but I know.. Because I love YOU.. it does Not seems so Far any more.. as Long as I believe and I know.. I will be seeing YOU SOON.. I will be meeting YOU so SOON.. and I would look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. the Closest friend would look at me.. but I never get tired of LOOKING at YOU.. even though the Drawing was when YOU were much more Younger Years.. I do remember that with out YOU.. I know that I can't dream of coming this Close.. dreaming of getting close to YOU but I never stopped dreaming of Us.. of We.. that One Day.. I will see you and meet YOU.. I be close to YOU that I am able to speak and tell YOU.. I love YOU.. as the Next Day Comes.. me and the Closest Friend are standing in the Line.. the Line is so Long.. too many Young Men.. waiting in the Line to either go into the Camp or to the Ground.. and My Heart is beating.. It is beating so fast because I know that I am getting Close to YOU.. I see about one Hundred Young men standing.. waiting for their Time to enter.. I am so excited.. but also.. My Heart keeps on beating just too Fast

Hi, do you know if this was Taeyeon's old channel? Like, an actual one, not fanmade? I'm kinda new here. I think she has a new channel, Taeyeon Official. She also uploads vlogs there.

@@Dark_Lantern_ yeah, This channel made by herself

@@AlwaysKimTaeyeon ah, I see. Thank you ☺️

@@Dark_Lantern_ I think Taeyeonnim forgot the old channel password 😄. Maybe that's why She has Taeyeon Official

@@AlwaysKimTaeyeon lmao 🤣

I am missing you so much right Now.. I went to the table.. I saw the Empty Chair.. still wondering if YOU are coming Home.. but as YOU can see I don't know why YOU are Not still here.. Looking at the Plate.. the Food I made for YOU.. which you did Not come home yet.. and staring at the Chair.. the Chair you would sit.. I would watch YOU across the table when we eat.. many times I would watch YOU smile and then YOU would laugh.. I do really miss those days.. even when YOU came home.. Long day of work.. sometimes when It rain Out side.. and I would hear the DOOR open.. I would walk Out of the kitchen.. preparing and making the Food.. putting the Plate on the table.. just waiting for YOU to come Home.. the smile.. and I would watch YOU sit.. sit on that chair.. as I would just watch YOU eat while I am sitting on my side of the chair.. How come this had to happen.. why are you NOT coming home yet.. I received a message.. also YOU send me a Picture.. a recent picture of YOU.. I would see you sitting On a chair.. Holding a Giant Teddy Bear.. and with a Bow on the top of your Head.. I am Not sure where the location or the Place you were at.. but YOU send me a Message with a Picture telling me How you are doing.. and of course.. I would smile looking at this recent picture of YOU and I would ask YOU.. where are YOU.. Please tell me.. if YOU are close by in the area.. can I go to YOU.. and I would be waiting for the Message but a Long pause.. YOU would text message me saying.. YOU are Not in the area and that YOU are far off.. at Least YOU are starting to share and telling me how YOU are doing.. but.. I am still waiting for YOU.. all I can think of is YOU coming Home.. when I would pass by the diner room.. I would look at the table.. and I would LOOK at your chair.. the empty chair that has been sitting there waiting for YOU for a long time Now.. and It is asking Me.. when Are you coming HOME.. when are YOU going to sit on this EMPTY CHAIR.. I would tell the chair.. I am Not sure when because YOU never tell me when YOU are coming Home.. all I can think of is YOU.. just missing YOU every Night.. every Night feels like I am going to die here alone.. without YOU.. I feel like this Chair.. Like this Empty chair.. just sitting here and just waiting for YOU.. and ALL I do is look at the New recent picture YOU gave me.. I would look on the Phone.. and in the front of the phone your Picture.. the recent picture.. the ONE you are sitting on the Chair.. with the Big bow on top of your Head.. arms wrap around the Giant Teddy Bear.. and I want to cry.. because NOW.. I wish that I could be that Giant Teddy Bear.. WHY does that GIANT TEDDY BEAR seems so Happy.. of course it is because YOUR Arms.. How about my arms.. how about ME.. I want to be held by YOU.. feel the JOY and LOVE that Only can comes from YOU.. Only YOU can bring that Big smile ON my face.. NO One else can make me more happier than YOU can.. as I am standing.. I am in the kitchen.. just thinking about.. as I am looking at the Plate.. I made this Food last night for YOU.. I would take a Picture of the Plate with the FOOD that was made and I would send it to YOU.. telling YOU.. it is waiting for YOU.. and I would look at your Chair.. who is also waiting for YOU TO sit on.. and I would sent the Picture of Your Chair and the Plate.. NOW.. I am in the kitchen.. I know that YOU did not come home because I see the FOOD still on the Plate.. as I am putting the FOOD on the trash.. and I would start to wash the dishes with water.. knife and fork.. cups.. and Now my tears.. I can't stop the tears falling from my eyes because it can get this hard on me some times.. I am asking YOU.. but YOU never response.. YOU never tell me that why YOU are not coming Home.. after washing the Plates and the cups.. the knives and forks.. I would use the towel to wipe it dry and Put on the Counter where I would put all these things there.. of course.. I feel so sad.. and many times broken hearted when I would walk Out of the room.. and I stand to see.. going to the diner room.. hoping that YOU came.. hoping that I would see you sit on your Chair.. hoping to see YOU eating and finishing the Food on the plate.. to see YOU turn Your Head to look at me and smile and telling me HOW finally YOU came HOME to me.. when I would walk out of the room and I stand still.. as I look toward the Diner room and I see it be empty.. looking at your Chair.. the empty chair.. and LOOKING at the Plate.. I would see the FOOD still here.. I turn to look towards the door.. I find NO shoes of yours.. my Heart.. it feels like YOU have thrown a hard ball.. a rock and Hit me on the stomach.. I can feel something sharp because my expectation of YOU.. if YOU came HOME.. it hurts to watch.. it hurts to stand here looking at the table.. LOOKING at your Chair.. and I would just want to fall down.. but I just look.. knowing that YOU did not come.. and I would wonder.. I send you the picture.. I took the picture of the plate.. and the FOOD in the plate for YOU to see what I have cooked and made you for this very night.. I can't believe that YOU still do Not want to show UP at all.. How much do I must miss YOU.. what am I suppose to do for YOU to know how much I love YOU and how I am still sorry of what I have done.. I know that I have made just too many bad mistakes.. and yes.. it is all my fault.. but just give me this One more chance.. I think that My Heart is burning.. and it is going to be burned because My Heart just can't stop loving YOU.. every Night.. after I would prepare.. looking through what I should cook or make for YOU.. it takes time for me to Know.. looking through many chef videos.. trying to do something different so that YOU would come Home.. I think I watched over 100 videos of cooking chef.. trying to cook something for YOU.. but.. I feel like how much more can I do.. I look at your chair.. I look at this empty Chair.. should I put your chair in my room instead.. because it drives me crazy when It sits here all alone.. this Empty chair is missing YOU because I know that IN my Heart.. I am the One who misses YOU.. I know that I can think like this empty chair because when I would watch YOU sit.. I was the Most happiest person in the world.. because I was able to express and show YOU something that I loved the Most.. to share and to tell YOU.. to make and create and to cater something that comes beneath my Heart.. I wanted to show YOU that I love YOU.. so I do remember going into the Kitchen classes.. I wanted to be the Best Chef.. just for YOU.. that is what counts.. that is what should counts.. NO ONE should care because as long as I be able to give you something that CAN Only comes from the depth of my Heart.. I wanted to impress you by showing YOU.. I am the Most happiest when I can give you this FOOD.. would you please take a taste.. would you please come and sit at this table and let the Plate I give YOU.. to fill your stomach because each time YOU eat.. it makes me full.. it makes me smile inside because I put all my energy and efforts into so that when it gets to YOU.. MY words would not be enough but the action of giving you this Plate.. this food on the Plate.. I put everything on the table so that when YOU COME to eat.. I can turn the other way and cry with a joy.. NOT sadness anymore.. I started to take classes.. getting new ideas to put food on the Plate and I would start to make it at Home.. I would look at your Empty Chair.. my Heart keeps breaking when I would pass by.. Looking at your chair.. which is an empty chair.. I would stand there.. WHY can't you be here.. why must YOU had to go.. why leave me here with this Chair.. why couldn't you take this chair with YOU.. or at least you could of helped me by removing two eyes.. if I be blinded.. I know with my eyes be missing.. I won't see this Chair.. this empty chair.. I would walk by.. I can feel something sharp in my chest.. just longing for YOU.. but being very busy taking lessons with the top chef.. what I learned and what I cooked in the class.. I would tell the TOP CHEF about YOU.. how much I missed YOU and wanted to create and make.. cook something for YOU every night and He started to show ME these Menus of and I started to learn how to cook as the TOP CHEF helped me to cook.. giving me the Notes and directions with the ingredients to make for that Night.. I would thank because.. I know that One day.. I believe One Night.. Some day YOU are going to be hungry to eat.. and I wanted to prepare for YOU just in case you wanted to stop by.. just for One bite is all it takes and I got so busy at home.. in the kitchen spending hours cooking and making the Dish for YOU.. as I would put One Plate for that One Night with the FOOD I learned from the TOP CHEF.. I put on Your Side of the Table with Your EMPTY chair.. I would go to my side sitting on the chair.. I would eat first.. I would look at across.. LOOKING at your Side.. I am wiping my tears of sorrow.. I wanted to share this with YOU tonight but YOU did Not show Up yet.. I wish that YOU come Home this very night.. It is going to be waiting for YOU all through the Night.. after I am finished eating.. I would get UP.. I would walk to your side of the table.. Looking at your chair.. the Empty chair.. I would lower to take the picture with the Phone.. the Plate with the Food I made for YOU and I would turn to LOOK at your Chair.. the Empty Chair and send it to YOU.. and I would write.. YOUR Chair misses YOU tonight.. I miss YOU tonight.. here is what I made while learning from the TOP CHEF at the kitchen class and I would stand UP.. Looking at your Chair.. LOOKING at the empty chair and I would turn to LOOK at my room and I would walk in closing the DOOR behind me.. As I am in the Kitchen.. just thinking about the many weeks gone by

Making all these dishes I made on the Plate for YOU.. ONLY is YOU.. for YOU to come Home.. and for YOU to sit on this Empty Chair.. this Chair misses you so Much.. I feel like this Chair.. when I pass by Your Chair.. and I stop too look at Your Chair.. I can feel and relate the Pain of missing YOU.. this Pain of ache and longing that It just don't go away because of missing YOU.. and WHEN My hand touches your Chair.. I feel something.. a sharp pain because I feel like this chair.. LIKE an Empty chair.. without YOU.. I feel like I can't go on.. I need you here.. I need to see YOU.. I want to see YOU.. just to tell YOU.. Please sit on this Chair so that IT does not feel so empty like HOW MY HEART feels without YOU.. I need you because I love YOU.. will you please come Home.. Please come back to Me.. I am missing YOU like crazy.. I am just missing you.. and as I turn to LOOK toward the window.. I am starting to see the rain falling.. it just keeps on getting worse as days go by.. without YOU it feels like I can't go ON.. that is why I need YOU.. that is why I needs to tell you that I love YOU.. Please Come HOME and help me to Love YOU again.. I need YOU.. I need to love YOU again and only way is if YOU come home.. where this Chair.. empty chair is waiting.. just like ME.. waiting for YOU To come home.. I am looking at the Chair.. the Empty Chair.. and I just can't take my eyes off.. just wondering when are YOU coming Home.. I been calling you on the Phone.. Do you not here the Phone ringing.. I know that the number is correct because I can hear YOUR voice.. I can here you saying to leave the voice on the message.. I been wondering.. why aren't you picking up the Phone.. you know that this is killing me when YOU do this.. I been thinking a lot lately.. and I even left you a voice message.. telling YOU that I am so sorry.. how many times Must I tell YOU that what I did was wrong.. and I told you that I am so sorry.. will you please give me another chance.. I know that I can do better this time.. of course YOU heard me telling YOU this before.. so what do you want me to do.. So do you want me to stop calling YOU.. I know that I am the one who did fault.. and I even plead and even begged YOU.. I left you a Message on the Phone.. I am still calling you.. because we needs to talk.. YOU needs to tell me something so that I know what Not to do.. so please Pick up the Phone.. as I am dialing Your number.. I am putting my Phone on the ear.. I hear the ringing going through.. as I am standing on the living room.. I walk to the diner room.. standing there.. I see Your Empty chair.. I just can't believe YOU are doing this to Me.. why are YOU hurting me.. I know that it is me who shouted at YOU.. and I was angry.. but.. does it means YOU have to hate me like this.. DO you really Hate Me.. YOU told me that you will Never hate me.. then why are YOU not answering the Phone.. it is getting late.. few days.. Now weeks went by.. I am still here waiting for YOU.. just wondering How you are doing.. Please.. Baby.. Please answer the Phone.. tell me something so that I know.. I can let go.. I can let go of this frustration that is in me.. I know.. I told you already.. I am so sorry.. as I am looking at the empty Chair.. I have set another Plate.. it is by Your Chair.. I would place a cup of water.. with utensils.. with napkin on the side.. I made YOU a steak.. green beans and mash potatoes.. next to the cup of water is another cup of wine.. I have set it.. maybe YOU will come tonight.. Maybe you will stop by later tonight.. but.. just in case you are hungry.. I have placed Your Plate.. Your food on the table by the Chair.. Your Empty Chair.. as I would walk to the front door and I open.. looking outside.. I would walk out with a jacket.. it is pretty cold and I can see the Moon.. as I am walking.. and I stop.. I see the light rain falling from the sky.. I am wondering are you close by.. Can you see the rain.. I know that I am getting hit by the rain.. it does not matter now because I am sick.. My Heart is sick because I am missing YOU.. its been weeks.. and each night.. I would be waiting by the empty Chair.. I would be in the kitchen cooking a meal.. each time I would eat dinner.. I am always looking for YOU.. I would be thinking of YOU.. as I would be sitting down on my side.. I would get back UP.. going back into the kitchen.. I know that I have to bring out another Plate.. I know that you may not come tonight.. maybe Not.. but still.. I am thinking what if YOU would show UP.. what if YOU come.. I would always make a meal for two.. Just in case YOU may show UP later deep in the night.. when I am asleep.. who knows when and I would put Your Plate.. Your dinner on the top of the table.. if I sleep and I don't see you for that day.. at least YOU can come into the night.. late if you want too.. the Meal is ready for YOU.. come and eat if You are hungry.. it has been all prepared and done.. what you love the most.. your favorites I would ask.. and I would watch YOU taking the picture of each plates YOU love and would remind me this is what you like and dislike.. and I would put the picture of the plates YOU love.. in my room.. and from time to time I would take a look at it.. and I would make those meals just for you.. as I am outside in the cold.. with my jacket on.. I am getting wet.. light rain hitting me.. and I would stop.. My Heart hurts Now.. I would go into my room.. and day to day.. I would pull out the picture of the Plate.. each Night I would be in the kitchen.. cooking each of the Meals YOU love.. every night comes.. One Plate.. the Next Night Another Plate YOU love.. your favorite dishes.. and I would sit on my Chair.. waiting for YOU to come Home.. as I would wait.. it becomes late.. and yes.. I would feel so sleepy.. getting UP out of the Chair.. I am looking at the Plate.. and Looking at the Empty Chair.. I can feel my Heart crying inside.. as I would wait for YOU and YOU do not show UP.. I would turn the Other way and walk into the room.. closing the Door behind.. and I lay on the bed.. and I start to cry.. crying a lot because I would miss YOU.. calling YOU on the Phone.. I would sit still just to hear Your Voice.. I would hear the Phone be ringing.. asking myself.. why is it this Hard to love YOU.. why are you making it so Hard for me to get closer.. am I that evil person.. why Hurt me.. I feel only tears in my eyes.. I told YOU that I am so sorry.. I told YOU that I missed YOU and that I love YOU.. but why don't you pick up the Phone.. why don't you even show UP to the House.. YOU don't miss me at all.. YOU know that I miss YOU.. I call you every day.. I only want to listen to Your Voice.. I want to hear YOU.. but only at the end to leave the Message YOU tell me too.. it breaks my Heart when YOU do this to Me.. it breaks my heart when YOU stop caring about me.. it breaks my Heart when YOU don't answer.. I even would leave in the Night.. I have prepared YOU a Meal.. a Dinner I made to eat.. I have already eaten.. If you don't want to see me.. I am Not going to force YOU to come to see me.. But Please.. if YOU get hungry and YOU are near by.. Please stop by.. I am ready to sleep for the night.. so Please come tonight.. by the time you get this message.. when YOU come.. I am sure I am already at bed by then.. if YOU ever feel you want to eat Your Favorite FOOD.. and I would take a picture of the Plate I made for YOU and I would send the picture to YOU so that YOU can see what I have made and prepared for that night.. and I be sitting on my side of the chair.. and I would get UP and I would leave.. going into the room so that If you want to show UP.. YOU can without seeing Me being there.. as I am standing Out side.. feeling the Light rain falling down on me.. I begin to feel My Heart be hurting.. I can feel my Heart be breaking.. I just can't take it any more.. why can't I see YOU any more.. YOU telling me YOU love me.. was all those words nothing but a Lie.. My Words.. when I tell YOU that I love YOU.. it is NO lies.. I am telling YOU because I am saying it from my Heart.. why do you tell me YOU love me.. and when I call YOU on the Phone.. YOU never pick UP to answer.. YOU tell me that YOU love me so much.. LOOK at what YOU are doing to me.. it is because I love YOU.. I been loving YOU for so Long.. I am standing Out here.. it is cold Out here.. I see the rain falling down on me.. and I am waiting for YOU.. but I know that In my heart.. even tonight YOU will Not show UP.. I know that YOU will not show UP but just in case YOU do.. I have faith in love.. I have faith in us because I know that I love YOU.. YOU know how much I love YOU.. I wrote YOU songs.. I would sing YOU songs even though I may not have the voice to sing.. but.. In my heart I can still sing telling YOU that I love YOU.. and How much I love YOU.. showing YOU and sharing to YOU how much I do.. as I am walking back.. I been walking for a while.. just thinking about YOU late in the Night.. as I am can feel the rain hitting me.. and I know that I am going to get sick.. I guess I did it on Purpose so if I do get sick.. and I am laying in the Hospital Bed.. will you come and visit me.. or am I going to be sick alone.. I been walking.. stopping and Looking UP to the Moon.. shouting out to the Moon.. Looking at the stars.. as I am getting Hit by the light rain.. it is so dark and cold Out here.. I want to get sick.. because my Heart is already dying and I am falling apart.. I can feel my Heart just be breaking.. pieces by pieces.. missing YOU.. and pains crashing in and I am hitting the Floor.. How much pain can I endure of this Love.. I am Not sure any more.. but I feel like I am dying inside.. How much I love YOU.. But I know I am crashing and burning because I love YOU.. as I am walking back to the House.. there was NO lights in the House.. and I stop.. there is a Light in the Diner Room.. am I suppose to be shocked

Leaving YOU a message.. taking a picture of the plate with your Favorite meal and I would send it too YOU.. standing and looking at Your side.. I would still see.. YOU did not come.. You did Not show UP even after I would tell YOU I be sleeping.. it breaks my Heart that YOU just don't care.. I would realize.. If I did not shouted at YOU.. then all this would not come.. if I was more patient with YOU and more understanding,, caring and kind to YOU.. I would been seeing YOU sitting ON that Empty Chair.. I would watch YOU holding the Giant Teddy bear.. and YOU be smiling at me.. and YOU be asking me.. what am I cooking tonight.. what Meal.. and I would pull out a picture of the Plate YOU love and show you how about this Meal.. this Plate.. would you like this One for tonight.. and YOU be smiling Big.. and I be smiling back with tears in my eyes.. the joy of being able to give back.. giving you how much I love YOU.. the little things I would miss about YOU.. even just Your smile.. I would tell YOU.. YOU have the most beautiful smile in the world.. the Most prettiest.. Most beautiful smile.. and I would Hold a camera.. looking through the lens.. LOOKING at you and the smile and press the Click the picture of YOU.. why are you so beautiful.. why are YOU so Beautiful to me.. Please tell me why and I would cry looking at YOU because YOU are.. I would be standing by the front door.. thinking about YOU.. your smile.. and as the door opens I walk into the House.. I Just can't believe it.. I am looking at the Empty Chair.. I am looking at the Picture of YOU sitting on the Chair.. I want YOU home.. I want you here next to Me.. sitting on this chair which right Now I don't see you here.. as I am looking at the table.. I want to sit but I can't.. because I know that I am going to miss YOU if I don't see you across the table.. with YOUR beautiful smile.. I just keeps on missing YOU.. Please come Home.. Please come Home to me because I am missing YOU so bad.. will you please come back.. and I walk over.. I am standing by the Chair.. Your Chair.. the empty chair.. I am asking myself.. when will I see you again.. My hand.. holding your picture.. I lift up my hand.. holding Your picture in my hand.. YOU are holding the Giant Teddy Bear.. YOU are sitting on this chair.. the empty chair which right Now I am standing by.. on your lap is the Giant Teddy Bear sitting.. I can't believe YOU are not here.. I still can't believe YOU are Not here.. I been waiting for YOU more than a Month.. where are YOU now.. I been asking for YOU.. even begging YOU to come home.. I am taking pictures on the Phone.. sending you Plates.. your most favorite dishes I would make for dinner.. and Yes.. YOU are receiving the pictures.. because it goes direct to Your Number and yes.. I see that YOU are able to see the Pictures I would take.. looking at the Plates.. the dishes every Night so that I want YOU to come Home.. there are Nights I be waiting.. sitting on my side of the chair.. I am eating alone.. looking across is the empty Chair.. I feel so hurt.. I feel so Bad.. I feel like I have messed UP so bad this time.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do next.. But I need YOU here because I have called you several times.. I would tell YOU with the Voice Message How much I have messed UP and that I am so sorry.. so tell me this.. are you with some one new.. are you with another guy because I truly want to know.. if YOU are leaving me Now for another guy.. please tell me so that I can let YOU go.. I would even write text messages asking you about this many times.. But YOU would Not answer me.. it breaks my Heart because I would call.. Phone number dials.. my ear listening to the ringing on the Phone.. and I am asking Please.. pick UP the phone.. Pretty Please answer so that I can at least hear YOU say that YOU are alright.. But I would call. I would not hear any answers.. and I am speaking to YOU through the Phone asking YOU Please come back to me because it does not matter if YOU are with another guy.. as long as I am still in your Heart.. just please come home.. as I am standing by next to Your Chair.. which is an Empty Chair.. I just want YOU HOME.. I want YOU close to me and I am missing YOU.. why can't you tell me that YOU miss me too.. tell me what is in your Heart so that I know how you are doing.. I am looking at the Chair.. the Empty Chair.. I just want to cry.. I want to just pour out my eyes out.. just pour out my tears because I want to see YOU.. it is so hard not seeing YOU for Month.. I need to see YOU.. at least say that YOU do know my Heart.. as I am looking at the Phone.. I have made another Dinner dish.. a steam fish with veggies and I would look at the camera and I would be looking as I would click and I am looking at the picture of Dish I made for YOU this very night and I would look for YOUR Number and I would send it to YOU.. I would be look at my chair.. I would walk and sit on the chair.. and I would start to eat late into the night.. I would be looking across.. looking at Your chair.. the Empty Chair.. I can feel the Heavy in my Heart.. I would look across looking at the Empty Chair.. the Chair YOU sat when we would eat dinner together.. I would open my mouth and say.. I really miss YOU.. why do you have to be the one to Break my Heart.. shattering my Brains and my thought into pieces.. YOU know how much I love YOU.. you know that by NOW.. I am truly sorry and yes I can feel the suffering and pain in my Heart.. I am in so much ache because I need YOU here.. I am missing YOU so much.. why do you have to do this to me when YOU know that I love YOU.. Please come home.. I am looking at your Picture.. YOU are sitting on the Chair.. smiling with the Giant Teddy Bear sitting on your Lap with the Plate.. as I have the Bottle on the top of the Table.. I also placed the Shot Glass.. I just hate feeling this Pain.. Out side I can hear the wind blowing.. and it is lightly raining out side.. I just came from the Out side waiting for YOU.. wondering if I would stand out there.. I would see YOU coming Home.. still having that ray of Hope that YOU would come Home.. knowing at least YOU are receiving all of the Pictures of the dishes I made each night I send.. asking YOU I made this and that.. if YOU come home.. I would be in my room sleeping.. but YOUR Plate.. dinner is set by the Chair.. on top of the table waiting for YOU.. I would wake up each morning.. Hoping that YOU came late last night and had that dinner.. each Night and every morning I walk out of the room.. I would look at the top of the table.. LOOK at the plate and looking at Your Chair.. the empty Chair.. I be heart broken because Nothing has been touched.. the food still be on that Plate.. never been touched.. and I would grab the Plate.. the Food goes into the trash and my Heart be broken because I am hoping that YOU came because I made it just for YOU.. but each night.. I would make it.. and after I am done eating.. I go into the room to sleep.. expecting you to finish the Plate when I wake UP the new next day.. its been a month now.. and I am still wondering.. are you going to come.. because I am waiting for YOU.. but I know that I have to still make the Favorite dinner dish.. the Plate just in case YOU come home and I don't want to see YOU hungry.. I want to see YOU.. I been missing YOU and My Heart is crying inside me.. I just came from Out side.. that is How my Heart feels inside this Home.. like it wants to rain down.. I am looking across.. sitting on my chair.. but my eyes keeps on looking across.. asking for YOU.. I want YOU close.. I want you in my arms so that I can love YOU.. but all my eyes can see right now is Your Chair.. the Chair is empty.. and I feel empty inside like that chair which is empty because YOU are not here.. But I need you here so that I can say it to you how much I am so sorry.. I want to say it to you so that YOU know my real Heart.. that I am missing YOU.. I want you here.. but Now.. I see that I can't see YOU.. as I open the top of the Bottle.. and I would pour into the shot glass.. and I put the bottle Down.. I raise UP the shot glass.. with liquor inside.. I open my mouth and take a Shot.. I hear something ringing.. and I am not sure if it is the Liquor getting to me.. and I would turn too look at my phone.. I see that someone is calling me.. I raise up the Phone to look. I just can't believe it.. and I am wondering.. it must be the Shot glass playing tricks on me.. it must be my eyes seeing things.. and I would pick UP the Phone.. and I hear YOUR voice.. it has been about a Month.. and I have not heard anything from YOU.. and I hear you saying something and only thing I can say is that I am so sorry and that I miss YOU.. YOU know how much I miss YOU and how much I love YOU because Now I know what YOU really means to me.. YOU means everything to me.. You always been everything but I just couldn't express it how.. but now I am able to tell YOU.. How much I missed YOU because I am looking across.. I have seen that the Chair has been empty.. its been missing.. missing YOU.. and I would hear YOU.. that YOU wanted to come Home.. and I am telling YOU to come home.. because in this house I am waiting for YOU Only.. I am looking at the Phone.. able to look at the screen.. I see your Beautiful Face.. I just can't believe YOU have finally answered.. but why did it take this long for YOU to tell me How you are doing.. why can't you tell me sooner.. I have brought the Giant Teddy Bear.. I wanted to show YOU something.. and Placed the Giant Teddy Bear on your Chair.. able to switch it where YOU are able to see it as I am showing you How much this Giant Teddy Bear been missing YOU.. I am sure more than Me.. usually YOU would sleep with this Giant Teddy Bear and I know without Your Presence.. it does Not feel the same

Looking at the Empty Chair.. I am always looking at the past memories.. YOU be laughing.. telling me too salty.. or too dry.. some times a meat ball flies and hits my face and YOU smile.. just these little things.. I would be laughing too because I am at the most happiest when YOU are smiling.. able to smile back.. grab a meat ball and throw back at YOU.. of course I would of missed YOU.. I just can't help it any more.. I was really thinking maybe it should be the last Dinner plate I should make because may be YOU are Not going to ever come Home and just forget me for good.. as I am looking at YOU through my Phone Screen.. I have missed YOU so much.. I would grab the Shot Glass.. filled with the whiskey and Open my mouth to take another Shot.. I know that My Head is about to fall off.. I can see everything circling around Me.. I know that I can't stand UP straight.. and I know that when I wake UP the next morning.. My Head is going to kill me.. rather this is a dream or Not.. I am smiling looking at YOU through the screen of my Phone.. My Heart been aching for a Long time.. just missing YOU.. why I keep on missing YOU.. I now know how much I love YOU.. because of looking across is the Empty Chair.. the Chair YOU sat.. I am looking across.. the Giant Teddy Bear is sitting there who is waiting for YOU to come back to Her.. all I can say is that I am so Sorry.. and that I love YOU.. as the Phone shuts off.. I would put my head on top of the table and I would sleep.. My Heart hurts.. Now that MOON has become My friend and times like this.. this pain and aching in my Heart.. when I feel like I want to die from the Inside.. and How much I missed YOU.. I just had to tell that MOON like a friend.. How much I missed YOU.. Yes.. I made Dinner for few days straight.. and for those past few days.. YOU have not shown UP.. I only saw the Chair.. Your Chair which has been empty.. I would sat the Plate with the Food on the side Of Your table.. but ALL I can see is Your Chair is empty.. I would just look across.. I wanted to reach Out my hand.. I wanted to touch YOU.. but How can I when I see the Chair.. I don't see YOU but only the Empty Chair.. I wanted to call Out your name.. But what can that do.. YOU would not hear me anyways because the Chair YOU sat when we ate together.. It was empty.. I would to say Your name.. call Out and reach to touch YOU.. my arms wanted to hold YOU still.. wrap around YOU but all I see is the Empty Chair.. I see the Food and Your Plate but I don't see YOU.. do you know how it feels to be sitting on the other side of the Chair.. I have my Plate and food.. and try to sit there alone.. eating by myself and all I could do is look across.. I see the Empty Chair.. I would have your Picture.. Put it on the TOP of the table and I would LOOK at it.. I would LOOK at YOU through this Picture.. it is not the same as I am looking at YOU right Now Face to face.. it does not feel right.. I would be asking Your Picture.. DO you even Love me.. if YOU love me why Hurt me like this.. if YOU Know how much I love YOU.. why keep on hurting me like this.. YOU know that I love YOU.. if YOU know that I love you a lot.. it is Not fair to hurt me in a way I should feel like this.. WHY hurt me knowing I love YOU.. that is why I am asking YOU right Now.. do YOU love Me.. if YOU love me.. Please don't hurt me because I am not here to be hurt BY you.. I also need to be loved as much as YOU do.. as I am looking at YOU.. YOU know that my Heart felt like burning.. and it would shattered into pieces.. because I love YOU.. as I look at YOU.. YOU still looks so beautiful.. is.. I even took a picture of YOU sitting with that Huge Bear.. I am over here just missing YOU.. WHY did you have to do this to me when YOU don't love me.. I told you that I love YOU.. I told you my heart and my soul.. that I wanted you to be the one who join in forever with me.. As I sat there on the Chair.. looking at the Watch.. Looking at the clock on the wall.. as it was getting late into the Night.. I get Up from the Chair.. my tears just flowing down.. I would walk out of the front door.. as I stand late into the Night.. I am looking at the Moon.. I am wondering.. WHAT DO I must do to earn YOUR LOVE.. Help me to understand.. If I love YOU.. and I am asking you to stay with Me.. why is it so hard for YOU to know that My Heart and what I say is true.. I am Not lying to YOU at all.. I am only expressing of How Much I love YOU.. why don't you trust My Heart.. WHY don't you know that It is me who Loves YOU the most.. I know that I can love you more.. I can love you where you know I can.. as I am looking at that Moon.. I want YOU to be close.. I want to tell YOU that it is Me who YOU need.. it is me who loves YOU the best.. all you got is to trust me in this.. YOU do not know how long of a flight I had to fly.. the years of coming.. Now.. I am here.. please.. just give me Your Hand.. and I will show YOU HOW MUCH I love YOU.. as long as YOU can trust me and understand.. when YOU give me Your Hand.. once I hold the grip of your Hand.. I will never let Your Hand to go because I love YOU.. and as I turn to walk into the House and I come over to sit on the Chair.. I looked UP.. wiping my Tears.. I see YOU.. I see you sitting there on the Chair.. Holding the Huge Bear.. with red ribbon.. smiling.. WHY are you doing this to Me.. One minute YOU are gone.. Next minute I see YOU.. then YOU are gone.. I cry and Now.. I see you again.. as I sat there.. Putting down the Camera.. I see YOU.. I smile.. even though YOU are NOT THERE.. YOU Live in My Heart.. even though YOU may be so Far.. I see the Chair empty.. but also.. I can close my both eyes.. when I open and LOOK.. I see you sitting on that Chair.. it is because I love YOU.. NO matter How far YOU are.. IN MY HEART.. I know YOU live in.. all I do is say.. I see YOU.. I love YOU.. I am looking at the Empty Chair.. it is Your Chair.. the chair YOU sat down when we would eat together.. I did not know why YOU left.. I am so sorry for letting YOU down.. but I saw YOU angry at Me.. I know that I am Not perfect.. I make a lot of Mistakes.. of course I do because I am also imperfect Human Being.. But there are times I know I just can't say the right Words to YOU.. making YOU angry and frustrated with situations I am not use to with.. When YOU get mad.. or Angry.. I see the Great storms coming.. it hits my Heart like a Hurricane.. and it blows me to the Floor.. But.. I want the best for Us.. I want us to win in this Life.. YOU know How hard and tough Life can be.. it is Not easy for Me.. But YOU know that NO matter the wrong words I would say to YOU.. I know I should Not say.. which It makes YOU to storm Off the room.. it is because I know that I am Not perfect.. But.. YOU know that I love YOU.. I have Never stopped Loving YOU.. it only grows with Time because I know YOU are the One for Me.. and YOU are wondering.. WHY do I choose the wrong Words to say and tell YOU.. because also I go through a lot myself.. I deal with such Hardship.. sometimes It is Not easy to say when I feel unappreciated.. I get hurt Too.. I feel Hurt inside as much as YOU do.. and Yes.. I do regret when YOU walk off the room.. Leaving me just standing here.. I can't explain it sometimes but.. I know that deep inside my Heart.. I do truly love YOU.. I am so sorry for Hurting YOU.. I am so sorry that YOU got Up and left because I could Not say the right words but has chosen to say the wrong words to Hurt YOU.. Now.. I am here all alone.. I been looking at the Clock.. only thing I see is the Clock ticking.. and I am just waiting for YOU to come back Home.. Now I feel so Lost.. I feel so Hurt.. I feel like I know I have wronged YOU but it is because I wanted to say I love YOU.. YOU are wondering.. If I love YOU.. why choose words to say what Hurts YOU the most right.. WHY choose those makes YOU angry and bring frustrations right.. It is because I know I can't make it right.. because I know it is my fault.. I am the One who made the mistake.. so sometimes I would try to say something so that YOU would not respond in a defense.. I know that when YOU fire back.. it hurts Me.. It makes me want to cry but In front of YOU.. I don't want to show YOU any more tears.. I have already shown YOU enough tears but wants to show YOU smile.. bring a smile to your face.. that is why.. I am waiting for YOU.. I even left a message.. I am not sure if YOU got the Message because I am thinking.. right Now is Not the time.. YOU are truly angry at me.. but.. why did YOU leave without saying a Word to me.. when are YOU coming back.. How far are YOU going.. Are you going to be leaving Me behind.. Am I suppose to wait for YOU.. did YOU go out for some fresh of air.. I am over here.. only wondering where YOU are.. wondering if YOU went Out for a walk.. so Am I suppose to wait for YOU.. I am sitting on the chair on the Other side.. the Chair I been sitting when we would eat together.. But.. it seems like it has been awhile.. I would turn a side to look at the Clock.. the Time has been dragging.. sitting here and just waiting.. the Time seems like it is going by so Slow.. and looking across.. I see the Chair.. Your Chair which YOU sat down

Across.. only thing I see is the Chair.. the Chair is empty.. I don't see YOU across this table.. I am thinking.. is this a Dream.. or is this really happening to me.. WHY is it has to end this way.. why tell me that YOU love me and Now.. YOU are Gone with the Wind.. I can't help myself but my eyes are looking at this Chair.. Your chair YOU sat.. I would watch YOU smile as you would eat.. we would talk about the day.. the day YOU would spend time at work.. about Your co workers.. But Now.. I only see the Empty Chair.. and it feels so different because of YOU are Not sitting in it.. I cannot go to that kitchen.. because ALL I see is You.. How you love to make food.. brings such a true joy and blessings in my stomach.. every food YOU make.. it tastes so good and really touches my soul.. and I just cannot forget when YOU tell me.. How do I like it or Not.. I would say.. I love it because.. I know that I am eating from Your hands.. your hands which would be busy making.. Your Heart which YOU put in so much.. of how tasty you wanted to make.. my hand would touch my chest knowing that YOU have touched my Heart.. and I would be smiling as I watch YOU sit on that Chair.. I would look at Your eyes and would say.. YOU are so Beautiful.. delicate flower.. The Most beautiful delicate flower I ever saw.. So beautiful.. Not because of the food.. because It is only being YOU.. Now.. all I see is YOU.. but I don't see YOU anywhere Now.. I have been sitting on this Chair.. on this same spot for few hours.. but I here nothing from YOU.. I would send a Message.. There is No word Back.. I would also call YOU on the Phone.. YOU would not pick Up on the Other side.. just leaving me wondering.. is it that Bad what I have said to YOU.. is it because YOU never loved me from the first Place.. I know you left few times.. But.. YOU would tell me YOU are going out for a walk and needed some fresh of air.. YOU needed your Own time and space and wanted to spend alone.. of course I would agree with YOU and let you have Your Time and space.. to think about what I have done.. but this Time.. it feels so different.. YOU would send Word and would reply back.. and also you would answer the call and Let me speak and YOU would speak back.. I would say I am so Sorry.. I would lead out my apology.. Now.. I feel like this has to be something I really done something bad.. because NO words.. No replies.. I am looking at Your Picture.. Not sure why I keep on looking at It.. of course.. Now Matter how much I would take a Look at your Picture.. I just wish that I am able to speak to YOU.. if the Picture can speak back and tell me what is in your Heart.. what is IN your thoughts.. for a long time.. I wanted to hear what YOU have to say.. as I would look at your Picture.. But what good is it when YOU just had to hold back but only showing tears in the eyes.. it is hard when you just can't say a word and just hold back.. Kills you from the inside.. SO I had to close my eyes.. counting the stars for the chance to come.. asking the Moon.. How long does it take.. How long must I had back the years showing tears to YOU.. so.. if you look at my shoes.. it is not easy of waiting and waiting for the TIME to come.. it is hard but.. I am looking at Your Heart.. I just could not believe.. I see Your Picture too.. looking at YOU and looking at Your Big Heart is like a Dreams come true.. but in reality.. I know that I am not dreaming any more.. Now.. I know that I want to say some much to This Heart of Yours.. what is holding YOUR HEART back of receiving.. I want to give.. I just want to pour out and give YOU all of my Heart and my Love to YOU.. and to tell Your Heart.. I have been waiting for this very day.. that is why I am Not going to hold anything back.. I want to tell Your Heart.. How much I love YOU.. I never stopped loving YOU.. then I loved YOU.. Now.. I love YOU.. still I love YOU.. and More I love you every day.. it is Not going to stop me to keep on loving YOU more every day.. because I have been waiting for YOU.. for Your Big Heart.. for this Heart.. I miss YOU and I love YOU still.. because YOU are my everything.. my forever and ever love in my Heart.. I waited.. Now.. I know I can love you more because I love you.. I am standing Outside.. I just could Not stay Inside because I started to Miss YOU.. sitting on the Chair.. I am looking across and I still see the Empty Chair.. I am waiting for YOU.. looking at the two Plates.. after making Dinner for us.. I just could not stay inside any longer.. I want you Close.. I want YOU near.. I walked Out the Door.. and I am staring out.. Looking at the Moon.. I am asking myself.. Where are YOU.. WHY don't you want to Come home.. is it because what I said to YOU.. but YOU know that sometimes I would say things I should not say.. but also YOU would tell me things that WOULD hurt me as well.. I am waiting for YOU.. Please Come HOME.. I think the Food on the Plate is getting cold.. I have waited and waited.. Looking at the watch.. Looking at the clock.. I see that YOU are Not here yet.. It is pretty cold Outside.. pretty Chilly this very day and I am still waiting for YOU.. WHY don't you want to come Home.. YOU know How much I love YOU.. Please Come Home.. as I am standing there.. I have your picture in my hand.. and I take a LOOK at your Picture.. What have I done.. WHAT did I say those words to YOU.. I am so sorry.. Please forgive me.. because I am Now sorry for the Words I say to YOU.. DID NOT mean to say it in a way to cause YOU to cry.. I know that the damage is already Done but.. I am hurt too.. YOU know that I am not feeling right.. so Please.. Pretty Please come Home to me.. and tell me.. tell me that YOU are coming Home.. as I stand here IN the Night.. it is getting colder outside.. can feel the blowing of the Wind.. as I stand there.. I look UP to the Moon.. and I just can't take this Pain any more.. I can't take this ache in my Heart.. because I am missing YOU.. YOU know that I have not seen you all day.. did not even see YOU last Night or before that Night.. it has been few days that it went By.. and Yes.. I called YOU on the Phone.. but I see that YOU just don't want to talk to me.. I can hear the ringing on the other side.. but.. I only can leave a Voice message.. I am wondering now.. DID YOU get my Message.. I told YOU on the Phone.. left YOU a Message that I am so Sorry.. that I am not going to do that again.. and Now.. days passes by.. still No answer.. YOU have Not left me any messages.. I am wondering about YOU.. I am missing YOU.. and it drives me crazy because I am not sure what is going through Your Mind and heart.. Please tell me.. so that I don't have to worry about YOU.. I am Looking UP at the Moon.. Can you Hear me.. even though I called Your Phone.. even today this Morning I left a message on Your Phone.. did YOU get the message.. did YOU hear my Voice on the other side.. and yes.. every Night.. for the past few days.. I would clean UP the food ON your Plate and make a New Dinner.. Just in case YOU show up this Very day.. Do you know what Hurts me the Most.. that I would have to get UP from the Chair.. and I have to look across and I see Your Chair.. that chair has been empty for few days Now.. I would sit by myself.. I ache in my Heart as I am eating alone.. just for one meal.. I wanted to take my time to share with YOU.. and I would be looking across.. as Your Picture is laying next to the Plate.. I would take a Look at the Picture of YOU and I would touch my Chest.. telling Your Picture.. while looking.. I would stop eating and say TO your Picture.. How sorry I am and that I love YOU.. you would Not answer me and it hurts because I am missing YOU not wondering what YOU are doing.. I be eating.. Looking across.. Looking at Your Chair.. the empty Chair.. how YOU sat down and we would look at each other.. smile and eat.. just for that One night.. for that Dinner.. I would cook so that YOU know this is what I can give YOU to tell YOU.. I may not be able to give YOU much.. but.. I want to give YOU something from my Heart.. it is a meal for two of us.. But Now.. I sit there alone.. and I hear nothing.. so quiet.. and just silence in that ROOM.. I would get UP after I finish eating alone.. my Plate would be done.. as I walk across.. I would grab Your Plate.. still has Food on the table.. and I would go into the kitchen.. and it goes into the trash.. I would stand and I would wash the Plates and put back into the cabinet.. as I turn around.. I would look at Your Chair.. the empty Chair where YOU sat once.. and Now I am just missing Your presence.. and I would ask looking at Your Empty Chair.. where are YOU.. DO you know that I am missing YOU.. I just can't believe YOU are gone and has not come home yet.. what If YOU never come Home.. what is going to happen to this Chair.. I don't want this Chair to sit here because of Knowing the memories of YOU.. I just can't take it any more.. I just can't see this Chair.. I can't because I am hurting too.. aching and wishing that YOU can come back.. WHY do you have to leave and Not tell me where YOU are going to go

MAH MAH.. I am standing.. holding a stick in my hand.. Looking at the Sun rising before my eyes.. I know that I must get ready.. the Other hand pulls Out the Art Sketch paper.. it is the drawing of YOU.. I can hear my Heart beating so Fast when I look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. I am getting ready and preparing these Men.. the MEN who came to YOU.. the New recruits.. I had NO idea that YOU would put me on the front Line.. to prepare these Men.. these YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits.. WHY would you give me this Mission.. why would you give me the Permission to teach and to train these YOUNG MEN.. YOU know that I am Not that GOOD.. but Like HOW you gave me the Order and has commanded me to do so.. There are A lot of Other Generals.. the Superior before Me.. the Aged and well fought.. who are better Instructors and even YOU have the Chief Generals.. even the Great Commanders.. who has lead many victories over many wars they fought.. and I just don't understand why YOU put me in charge and gave me this KIND OF Order to do So.. I am Not even well trained.. did NOT fight many wars or has lead many soldiers to WIN many victories of Wars.. but WHY did YOU put me in Charge.. and I am looking at the Picture.. the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. as I am standing.. YOU also gave me few Men.. there are Seven of My Friends who are standing with me and with me they are standing Behind me.. I only came here.. just to be a Palace Guard.. just to guard the back door of the Palace.. Never imagined that I would come this very far.. so Close to YOU.. Only thing I ever wanted to ask of and say to YOU is how much I love YOU.. I only wanted to express deeply my Love for YOU.. never thought that I be here today.. as I am watching the Sun Rise.. before me are the tents.. and very SOON the New Recruits are going to come Out of the tents they are sleeping in and I have to begin the training for the New Big War.. as the Seven Men are behind Me.. I am looking forward.. I see the Men.. the New recruits walking Out their tents.. My tears.. two lines are falling down both eyes.. I just can't believe I have to do this.. But I am not even experienced veteran at war.. I am Not even the general.. Not even the TOP general or the Chief general.. Not even the Commander or the Great Commander.. those MEN has years of many experiences of striking and WINNING in wars.. but why did MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH choose me to do this.. there are great war veterans.. WHAT AM I suppose to teach.. what Words MUST I say.. how can I lead victories for the Next war.. and I would watch all the YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits walking Out and they all stood in the Line just waiting.. I don't know what to DO.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and I would say.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. WHY did You give me this Kind of Order.. why did YOU commanded me to train and to teach.. to instruct these YOUNG RECRUT MEN.. what if I fail trying too.. and I would put the arm down holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. the Closest Friend takes the Art Sketch paper in my hand.. and I turn my Head aside.. and I would look.. by the Fence.. I see YOU there.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. sitting on the Horse.. I see YOU with the BIG CROWN on your Head.. standing around are the COMMANDERS.. the Chief Generals.. the Great Commanders of War.. I see the TOP Generals behind YOU and YOU are looking at me.. and I see YOU pulling Out the Sword.. telling me that the training has Begun.. But.. something stops Me.. something stops me to go further.. I don't know what it is because these are YOUR new recruits.. these are Men that came here for YOU.. to Fight for the Next war.. to Fight for the Next Battle Field.. these are the MEN who are going to Die if they are NOT trained right.. who came to protect and to defend YOU.. for the Nation and for YOU to be their QUEEN.. even though YOU are the Crown Princess right Now.. what am I doing right Now.. I would fall down on both Knees.. and I put my arm up forward and I would Lower my Head before YOU.. and I see you pointing the Sword to me.. telling me to speak.. and I lift UP my Head and I look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. these are YOUNG NEW MEN.. New recruits.. they are Unexperienced and has Not trained for years.. do NOT know what it is Like to fight in the Battle fields of War.. How can YOU let me be the trainer or the Instructor.. I know that I might sound so weak.. but it is the Lives that YOU are putting Under.. they have Lives and the Lives are very special and precious.. because of my Wrong.. I don't want to see the YOUNG MEN.. the New recruits to fall by the swords because of the wrong teaching or instructing.. that is why I am begging YOU to let someone else.. like the experienced and the veterans of war.. who lead men to victories to take my Place.. and I would see YOU looking at me.. but The sword.. I see the sword YOU are holding.. YOU lifted it UP higher telling me to GO.. and my Heart.. My Heart starting to beat so fast when I see YOU believe and Your Faith.. the trust YOU have.. telling me to go On.. My Heart.. starting to beat faster when I truly understood that Because I love YOU.. One thing that makes me so different is that I love YOU.. the Love that I have for YOU will never let others to fall because I love YOU.. I love YOU more and more and never stopped Loving YOU.. and I would look at YOU.. the Seven Men behind me.. they all fall on their two knees.. Arms UP forward and Heads all Lower before YOU.. and I see YOU still holding the Sword UP High.. and I know.. it means that Is it.. so I turn my Head.. LOOKING at the YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits.. and I know that these are YOUR MEN.. these are the defenders.. who are going to Protect YOU with Me.. and Yes.. NO ONE is going to stop us from trying Our Best.. I know that if I love YOU.. I will do whatever it takes to make YOUR MEN stronger.. make them more wiser and BE ready to walk into the War.. I Hear more voices and I turn the Other way.. where YOU are at.. I see More New Young Men.. More new recruits wants to join in the Military force.. and I have never seen such a Large Number of gathered.. the Guard at the gate by the Fence Opens and More YOUNG NEW RECRUITS.. who has passed the exam all runs Into the join the Camp.. the training ground.. and they stand in the back of the Line.. and I stand there looking at these Unprepared men.. I must.. wiping my tears from my eyes.. I must help them.. and I turn to LOOK at YOU.. ARM UP and Head lowers.. Your Sword Points to Me again and I would lift up my head and I would say to YOU.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I just wanted to say Thank YOU.. If you are asking why.. I remember I was by the Fence.. DO you not remember.. I was by the Fence waiting for the Chance.. there was a Guard telling me that I could Not come inside.. I had the Letter.. and the Older MAN who was the Instructor.. who was the One to teach me.. after I lost my Father.. I have fallen into great depression.. crying IN the Night.. and Just wanted to Give UP on life.. I remember the Only HOPE was go to YOU.. I walked for many days with out FOOD or Water.. did Not see the Winter and the great blizzard came and swept me away.. at that Moment I thought I was going to die.. I only thought of YOU.. and Kept on walking through the SNOW until I just could not walk any more and fell in the snow.. I wanted to cry.. as I was laying on the snow.. all I could think is YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. just to go and to see YOU.. before I die.. at least to tell YOU how much I love YOU and I closed two eyes.. I woke UP and I only called Out to YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. wanting to get close to YOU.. I was meant to die and said.. I am going to die any ways.. better to just die in the SNOW but.. I did Not die.. after waking UP in a Home.. the Older MAN started to teach me.. gave me an instruction and started to teach me the Art of Swordsmanship.. and He final gave me a Letter.. and Placed a Stamp saying I can go to the Camp.. the Guard by the Table told me I can go inside.. Large LINE to wait.. and It took me many days waiting in the Line and when It came to Me.. I was standing by the Fence.. the Guard who was by the gates told me I can't come in.. That day was the last day and I remember I saw YOU.. YOU came.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU stood with the Generals.. the TOP.. the CHIEF and the COMMANDERS.. Looking at the New Recruits who were the YOUNG MEN at that TIME.. I remember YOU turn your Head.. and as I was turning away leaving.. I heard you which it stopped me.. MAH MAH.. YOU did Not recognize me who was at the Garden.. but.. YOU stopped me as YOU wanted to see the Letter.. My Heart.. it started to beat again.. this was the Only way.. this was the Only road and I turn around to face YOU.. and YOU stood there.. in the White Dress.. and I would give you the Letter which was written by the Older MAN who told me that I was ready.. and LOOKED at me.. and I pulled Out the Art Sketch paper which was behind Me.. and Unfolded.. Of course it is very different then because YOU were very young.. NOW.. such a beautiful Lady you have become.. and I showed YOU the Art sketch Paper.. the picture drawing of YOU and I asked you.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. DO you remember this and YOU looked at me.. and YOU knew who I was.. the Boy at the Garden.. who wanted to give you a Flower.. just to say.. YOU are so Beautiful.. that MAH MAH.. YOU are so lovely as this Flower.. and YOU told the guard to let me into the training Ground.. as the Gate opens and I would walk into

MAH MAH.. Never stopped Loving YOU because I know that STILL at this Moment.. I still Love YOU and Yes.. I will take orders.. your Commands seriously and help rebuild Your Forces.. make them into warriors who will Fight for YOU.. who will protect YOU and defend this Nation because.. the Day I was rejected was the Day I saw YOU and that DAY was when YOU let me In.. I just wanted to tell YOU.. Crown Princess.. thank YOU for giving me the Chance to be a soldier who can protect and defend YOU and this Nation.. as I grab the stick.. putting the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU on the ground.. I get UP.. and the Seven Men who are behind me.. they are all get UP.. Arms stretch forward and the Heads all lower to YOU.. I would grab the stick.. the Seven MEN stays behind.. and I would walk down by myself.. and I would stand.. as One YOUNG MEN recruit walks Out.. He has the Stick in his Hand.. and I would shout.. to see How well does this YOUNG MAN can fight.. and I would turn to LOOK at HIM.. I would remember.. when I was at the Older Man's House.. In the ROOM.. I would be sitting Alone.. Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. I would be looking at YOU through that.. I would be asking.. I would be saying.. MAH MAH.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. I am trying to leave this Place.. I am trying so hard to leave.. so that I can be with YOU.. be close to YOU.. but I feel like I can't.. looking at this Picture.. this drawing picture of YOU.. I keep on missing YOU.. I needs to be with YOU.. and I can hear the DOOR.. it opens behind me.. and the Loud thunder and it is raining Hard out side.. the Older Man.. the teacher.. grabs my Back shirt.. my both hands opens to release the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and I let it go.. I feel the Pull from the back and He yanks Me out of the room and I fall Out side.. I just can't believe I am out side sitting as I am getting hit by the rain.. it is pouring down On me because it is raining so Hard.. I stood and sitting.. crying because I am missing YOU.. I want to go where YOU are.. It is aching and Pain in me.. I want to be where YOU at.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. when can I see YOU and be close to YOU.. I needs to go to YOU.. and a stick falls to the ground next to Me.. I am Looking Up at the Moon.. the Seven Men are behind Me on Watch Guard.. the New Recruits are in the tents and they are all sleeping.. I would unroll the Paper.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. my hand runs over.. Looking at How Beautiful YOU are.. I have Never seen such a Great Beauty.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am getting the New Recruits.. the New Young Men.. So many people are waiting.. the Fences are blocking More New Recruits.. and I am Not sure where all these YOUNG MEN came from.. but.. Many wants to Join this Military Arts.. wants to join the Circle.. But it is YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. these are YOUR YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits who are.. and as I am Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I only saw you this Morning.. watching More YOUNG MEN.. the New RECRUITS.. By the Fences.. trying to get in.. but the Fences would Not let them Pass through.. as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. the training will start when the early Morning.. when the Sun comes UP.. I am going to prepare these YOUNG NEW RECRUITS.. they are going to come to this training Ground.. the Ones who passed the examinations and now.. ready to pick UP the WOODEN SWORD STICKS.. and I would be turning Back.. Looking at the Seven Men.. the friends of Mine.. and they all look at me with a SMILE.. and I turn to LOOK UP.. looking at the MOON.. Just thinking of YOU.. HOW far I came.. and How it is because I love YOU.. I never stopped Loving YOU and that is the Driving force behind of Never giving UP Hope.. it is because I love YOU.. I wish that WANGSEJABI MAH MAH knows this Heart of Mine.. that I would see.. A Messenger comes.. I hear the Horse running.. and the Horse stops.. the Messenger gets Down from the Horse and LOOKS at me and the Seven Men.. He shows me a Scroll.. and the Enemies are going to Come Back again.. and they want to fight again for this War.. it is Not Finished Yet.. and the Messenger tells me.. get the YOUNG MEN RECRUITS also ready for the war.. I watch the Messenger gets ON the Horse and He leaves out of sight.. as I am thinking about Another War.. I am Not sure if I will make this One alive.. But.. For YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. we Must Win for YOU.. so that YOU WILL BE our QUEEN.. and to make this Nation stronger and the People.. the New Recruits stronger to protect YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. DO YOU remember.. When I first came.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture.. as I am speaking looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture.. drawing picture of YOU.. and I would say to your Drawing Picture.. DO YOU NOT remember when I first came to the Training Ground.. I wanted to come.. I wanted to be the part of the Military Arts.. but My Heart.. I always believed that I will meet YOU one day SOON.. that I get to show YOU my Face.. I get to draw Near.. to get closer to YOU.. I remember it was in a Night like this.. and as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. I would go back to the Good Ole Days.. I am sitting in the ROOM.. with the Closet Friend.. I am looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. and I would smile.. I will see YOU soon.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please be Patient and wait.. I know that I be meeting you so SOON.. I lost my Father.. but there was a Older MAN who became Like a Father.. taught me the Arts of Swordsmanship.. and has told me.. it is TIME for me to enter the training Camp.. the Training Ground.. and Gave me a Letter.. with the Stamp.. I would be looking at the Letter.. and His Mark of stamp.. on the Other Hand is the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I can't believe this Teacher gave me this Stamp Letter.. which Allows me to go direct into the Training Ground.. and I know.. the Next day.. Many are going to enter the training Ground.. or the Camp which YOU MUST pass in the Camp to go into the Ground.. but This Letter.. with the Stamp.. for Many Years.. I have been waiting for this day to Come.. for Many Years.. I would be coming Out side.. and I would LOOK UP to the MOON.. and I would ask.. I will be there very SOON.. I know that the distance between YOU and I seems a LONG WAY.. but I believe.. I know.. why.. because I know my Heart.. My Heart which Loves YOU.. I have Never stopped thinking of YOU.. I have never stopped Loving YOU.. YOU may Not know It.. when YOU LOOK at the distance between YOU and the MOON.. it is very Far to touch that MOON.. but I know.. Because I love YOU.. it does Not seems so Far any more.. as Long as I believe and I know.. I will be seeing YOU SOON.. I will be meeting YOU so SOON.. and I would look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. the Closest friend would look at me.. but I never get tired of LOOKING at YOU.. even though the Drawing was when YOU were much more Younger Years.. I do remember that with out YOU.. I know that I can't dream of coming this Close.. dreaming of getting close to YOU but I never stopped dreaming of Us.. of We.. that One Day.. I will see you and meet YOU.. I be close to YOU that I am able to speak and tell YOU.. I love YOU.. as the Next Day Comes.. me and the Closest Friend are standing in the Line.. the Line is so Long.. too many Young Men.. waiting in the Line to either go into the Camp or to the Ground.. and My Heart is beating.. It is beating so fast because I know that I am getting Close to YOU.. I see about one Hundred Young men standing.. waiting for their Time to enter.. I am so excited.. but also.. My Heart keeps on beating just too Fast.. I would be holding the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I would be looking at YOU.. YOU do Not understand How Long I waited.. I had to count for many Days.. Many Weeks and Many Years.. and was Not sure at First.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. I am here on the Line.. I am right Close.. and I just can't believe that I had to wait this Long just to stand Even in this Line.. but also.. this Letter is the way I can see YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. few days Ago.. even just the few days ago.. I felt like I was very far.. that I wanted to say.. Maybe I am thinking just too Hard.. or Just the dream is Non Sense.. WHO is going to believe me that I can get close to YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would be staying with the Older Man.. who was my teacher.. I was living with Him for awhile.. in the WOODS.. where there was nothing to DO.. NO dreams to think about.. Just be chopping down woods.. and getting the water in a bucket.. doing a lot of chores for this Older MAN.. who was a teacher.. Like a Father Figure to Me.. I would be walking Out side.. In the Night.. I would stand Out side.. LOOKING UP.. looking at the MOON and I would ask.. after looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. am I NOT allowed to dream.. Can a fellow Like me dreams TOO.. because maybe I am Not suppose to dream anything.. living as a Slave Boy.. But I do Have a Dreams.. and I would look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU and I would say to YOU in the Picture.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. why can't some one like me dream.. will YOU laugh and Mock at me if I tell YOU these dreams I have.. and It is ALL About getting closer and to tell YOU that I love YOU.. why can't I even share this Dream to YOU.. WILL you allow me to share it what I have IN my Heart

MAH MAH.. Nation.. I just could Not believe It.. How was it that I was able to look at this Picture drawing of YOU.. if a Peasant.. or a SON of a SLAVE looks.. He can be arrested and be put to death.. I was told.. but I just did Not care at all.. I mean my Heart.. it must be broken to act this way.. I just knew when I saw the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I am a Dean person any ways.. and I only live Once.. but Loving YOU.. and just missing YOU.. How is it my fault.. WHY would you blame someone who Loves YOU just because I just do.. the other Boy let me have this Picture.. the drawing of YOU.. and ever since I had it in my hands.. I would never let this drawing picture go.. because I just Love YOU.. I would be waiting in the Line.. with the Closest friend.. but the Line would Not Move.. Just too many Young Men has all shown UP for this Once a Year event.. and I know If I don't make it this Year.. I know I have to wait Next year.. but this Letter is only for this Year usage.. so I would wait and wait.. even though the Line would Not Move.. few days ago living with the Old Teacher.. I would be cleaning.. and the Old Teacher asked me to come Closer.. and I just could Not believe what He wanted to show Me.. and Showed Me.. the Letter.. when the Old Teacher gave me His Letter to me.. I would sit in the ROOM and I would cry.. alone I kept ON crying because.. I always dreamed of Getting close to YOU.. it felt like I would never see YOU again.. ever since in the Garden.. so many Years has passed since the last time.. the Old memories of YOU.. but I would revisit the Old Memories because I missed YOU.. when the Old Teacher called me to come into His room.. and gave me the Letter.. I would be looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU and I would tell Your Picture.. what if the Old teacher never gave me the Letter.. I wonder what would happen.. I would be still living with HIM and be His Slave instead.. I would take a LOOK at the Art sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU and say.. I never stopped dreaming.. the Old teacher also knows that I have the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. I am always taking it with me.. wherever I go.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU comes with me.. when there are Hard days.. when I be struggling.. Or just missing YOU.. I would pull and unroll the Paper.. and I would look at the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and I would say.. I want to see YOU SOON.. I want to be close to YOU SOON.. but I would say this and believe it.. but it seems like It is never going to happen to me.. but I want to get close.. My Heart wants to tell YOU that I love YOU.. when can I tell YOU these words of Mine to YOU.. but it seems like it is so Far.. Just like when I come Out side.. and LOOKING up to the MOON.. it is so far for my hands to touch that MOON.. the long distance.. which it is IMPOSSIBLE for me.. when will that day be when I can see YOU and be close to YOU.. when my arms can hold YOU near and I am able to say.. how much I love YOU.. but.. when the Letter came.. and the Old Teacher tells me.. when He stamps on the End.. That I am going direct to the Ground.. Not the camp site.. and I saw the Stamp He put.. I would cry in the ROOM.. just could Not believe It.. that HE is letting me get close to YOU.. without this Stamp and this Letter.. I would be still waiting.. and Only LOOKING at the MOON wishing every night.. but feeling that distance that IT is Never going to happen.. but when the Stamp was set.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would run Out side.. and I turn to LOOK at the Moon.. holding the Stamp Letter in my Hand and I would be waving the Letter.. telling that MOON.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Just Wait.. I am coming.. I am going to get close to YOU.. I am going to be there very SOON.. I know that One day soon.. I will tell YOU how much I love YOU because I know that I do.. I never stopped believing that I will love YOU and I can say it to YOU SOON.. as I am standing in the Line.. with the Closest friend.. I begin to see the Men moving forward.. and yes.. Finally I get to enter the Ground.. I will see you soon Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I will see you soon.. because I love YOU..I am with the Seven Friends of Mine.. in the training Camp.. as I am looking at these New Recruits.. More young men are flocking.. filling up the training Camp.. as I watch more then One Hundred new young Men and More Men are waiting by the fences.. wanting to Join in the Military Arts.. I just can't Believe what is going On.. these are Your New men HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. these are new Recruits who wants to Fight For YOU.. and On your Behalf ready to Die for this Nation.. and They are Not afraid of the War.. I am holding the Wooden Sword Stick.. with the Seven Men behind Me.. and they are ready to Train these Young Men.. and I am looking at more than One Hundred Young Men of recruits.. and I can feel the tears in my eyes.. I remember I was One of those Men.. I am Looking over and around.. and My Hand touches the Chest.. I remember I was standing in the way Back.. I saw YOU at the training Camp.. with the Chief Generals and the Commanders.. with the Trainers of the Art of Swordsmanship.. I saw YOU sitting on the Chair.. and YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. who was looking saw me at the end.. and YOU stood UP and noticed Me.. I was way in the Back with the Number On the Back of the armor.. I just could not believe that YOU would let me come to the front.. and to see my Face.. I would walk up from being way behind.. More than One Hundred men because I was the 100th men.. the Number was written.. as I walked to the Front.. I saw YOU after a Long Time.. I wanted to say something to YOU WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. but CROWN PRINCESS.. what words would I say to YOU at that time.. I had to prove myself which I can be a Part of the Member to Fight.. as I saw YOU stand there.. YOU also holding a Wooden Sword stick.. and told me.. and I had to come before YOU.. and With the WOODEN SWORD.. YOU wanted to challenge Me.. But I just could Not fight YOU.. instead.. I let YOU Hurt Me.. I placed the WOODEN SWORD DOWN.. and Yes.. I just could Not hit.. as YOU would strike me with the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. and I fell to the ground after getting Hit several times.. I saw YOU stand there with NO WORDS.. and I saw YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. walk away.. and told.. One of the men.. the Chief General YOU knew to Challenge Me.. I would stand UP.. and YOU stood with the Other Chief Generals and the Commanders.. with the TOP GENRALS on the Side.. I held and grab the WOODEN STICK.. and the Chief General.. He grabbed and we were facing each Other.. I knew that If I could Not beat HIM.. I would Not be able to get It as the Palace Guard.. as I stood here with the Seven Men.. who is behind Me.. I am standing here in tears.. I just could Not believe that I am here today.. For your Kingdom.. and For your Nation.. and YOU gave me the Command to Teach and to train the New Young Men.. the New Recruits.. How is it that I can do this.. I just could Not.. as I watch the Faces of these New Young Men.. and they are all in the single line.. standing side to side.. and as I turn to look.. I see YOU sitting ON the Horse.. with the White Dress and the Big Crown on top of the Head.. as the Seven men with men.. we would all turn to Give YOU the attention.. and I would be on the two knees.. arm forward and head looking at the Ground.. the Seven men also gets down on two knees.. arms forward and heads looking on the ground.. and the New Recruits all turns too look.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. It is the WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and all the new Recruits all gets down on two knees.. arms out forward Heads all look on the Ground.. and I shouted to YOU.. CHOONG CHOONG CHOONG and the Voices of more than one hundred men all shouts to YOU the Crown Princess.. CHOONG CHOONG CHOONG.. as the WOODEN STICK HITS the ground.. and I would close Both eyes.. and going to the Meeting of the council.. the Meeting Board.. YOU.. the crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. sitting on the King's Chair.. on the Right Side.. from the eldest to the youngest.. Six Princes were standing.. the Prime Minister.. and the 12 council of noble Men.. from the eldest down.. and on the Left side is the Chief Commander.. to Commanders.. Chief Generals to TOP General.. 2nd General to the 3rd General.. as I am on the two Knees.. my arms out forward.. my Head looking on the Ground.. with the Seven Men who are my Friends in the same Position.. as the Messenger of the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. He is reading from the Scroll of what YOU have written.. and Now.. YOU are telling me that I am Not the palace Guard any More.. that Now.. I am a Special Guard for the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and also shared that I am now the trainer for the New Recruits with the Seven Men who are with me.. as I lifted UP my Head.. what is this MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. why are you promoting Me.. I rather be the Palace Guard but Now.. YOU are telling me that I can be the special Guard.. who is to protect YOU.. I always wanted to protect YOU but even as the palace guard I can.. YOU do not have to promote me for anything.. as Long as I can protect you with the Sword.. the Only One sword I can.. and Now.. YOU are also giving me a chance to teach.. to share.. even though I may not be that GOOD.. why are you being so good to Me.. I know I can't do much.. but also.. for this CHANCE of a Life time.. I just wanted to thank YOU from my Heart.. and I can hear.. the men behind me starts to cry

MAH MAH.. Came across and I saw YOU.. I only felt something in my Heart.. I only wanted you to KNOW.. can I show you something that I felt in my soul.. that I felt in my Heart.. How am I suppose to show YOU something that is Unseen.. YOU can't see love.. YOU can't even know what Love is unless YOU learn.. and start learning HOW TO LOVE.. I began with the Art Sketch Paper.. I started when I saw a Boy.. He was running.. and He fell on the Floor.. and out of his hand the Art sketch paper came off and I was walking with my Father.. he was telling me He had to go to the Meeting Board.. the COUNCIL OF BOARD MEETING.. I stopped and I looked on the Ground.. an art Sketch Paper was near at my feet.. I went on the ground and I saw a Face.. it was a drawing and my two hands grabbed unto and I looked at the Picture of YOU.. Crown Princess.. and My Father who was standing next to Me saw the same Picture.. he tells me it is the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I looked at it.. How did it come to my hands.. How did this Picture.. this ART SKETCH PAPER.. the Drawing of YOU.. and I looked at it.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. and the Boy gets UP and looks at me.. telling me He drew it.. and that I can have it just like that.. ever since I saw this Picture.. my eyes were glued to this Picture.. YOU took my Breathe away what I first saw this Picture.. I just could Not breathe.. I could Not inhale or exhale.. HOW COULD I.. and Now.. I am here.. I am here looking at YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I told myself.. I am going to Meet YOU.. I am going to Fight for YOU and WILL PROTECT YOU.. and I will be by your side and Just wanted to say that I love YOU.. as I am looking at YOU who is sitting on the Horse.. and YOU are looking at the center of the training camp.. and I see you looking at me and the Seven Men behind Me.. and I do remember at the Meeting Board.. YOU gave the Command to make these My Soldiers.. to Make them into fighting warriors who will fight and to protect the Nation.. and gave me the COMMAND that I am also the Special GUARD for the CROWN PRINCESS.. and as I am watching the SUN SETTING.. and I see YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. turning the Horse away from the Fence.. I would Raise UP my Voice and would SHOUT.. MANSAE to the CROWN PRINCESS.. I hear the voices of all of the Men in the training Camp.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would be loud and clear.. raising UP the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. MANSAE to CROWN PRINCESS.. all of the MEN in one Voice Shouts.. MANSAE TO WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. as I am looking at the Horse walking off while YOU are sitting on the Horse.. I go back to the War.. watching YOU on the Horse.. I see you pull the Sword Out of the Sheath.. and Your Arm moves Down.. blade striking down one enemy at a Time.. the battle is so fierce.. and I see More of the enemies.. LOOKING and Pointing the Swords at YOU.. Crown Princess.. and I turn to LOOK back.. as I am swinging the Sword.. and I look at the Seven men who is with me.. telling Them.. the ENEMIES are charging.. they are going after the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGJABI MAH MAH.. GO and protect.. and I see the Seven Men.. running towards YOU on the Horse.. as YOU are sitting on the Horse striking down One enemy.. but the ENEMIES starts to gather.. More and they rush at YOU.. and I turn to LOOK back.. and I start to RUN TOWARDS you.. and Me and the Seven Men makes a Circle around YOU.. and with are Backs we would lean on the Horse to PUSH it back.. More of YOUR MEN comes out of the fortress to JOIN and they gather around YOU MAKING MORE bigger circles and Pushes with the backs on the Horse so that It can go into the FORTRESS.. and I see and I jump forward.. with the Sword I strike and I swing.. going forward as More ENEMIES are approaching.. Blades are hitting Other.. and YOU go in safely.. as I am on two Knees and arms out forward and Head looking on the ground.. I see YOU and the Horse disappear.. HWAANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have done so well.. I just wanted to say Thank YOU.. the DAY I first entered the Training camp.. the DAY YOU saw me in the way of the back of the Line.. I was waiting for the number and the Name to be called.. I watched for days sitting on the way Back on the Line.. I would wait.. as the detour happens.. I had to leave without my Number and my Name being called.. wondering will I even enter this Camp.. for the few days I was sitting back of the Line.. I did Not see YOU sitting with the CHIEF GENERALS and the COMMANDERS.. it was like the 5th day.. when YOU came to sit on the Chair to Judge the new Recruits.. I was just waiting.. until YOU saw me.. and YOU recognized me at the way in the Back.. It was YOU HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it was YOU who gave me this One Shot.. this One Chance.. I could of waited and just gone back HOME without ever entering.. but the day I saw YOU.. I saw Your eyes looking at ME and YOU recognized Me.. I just could Not believe that YOU would recognize me even though it has been so Long ago I met YOU.. when I was very YOUNG.. but Many years went down the Line.. and of course people changes.. But YOU recognized Me when YOU first took that glance looking at me sitting alone in the back.. but able to give me this One Shot.. I wanted to say thank YOU.. if YOU did Not recognized me.. I would of never made it to the camp.. and I would be shouting.. CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. HOORAY TO the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. and I would be crying as I am LOOKING at the MOON staring down at Me into the Night.. I am standing Out of the Gates of the Fortress.. the Seven Men.. the Friends are all behind Me.. and I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. sitting On the Horse.. All the Chief Generals and the Commanders.. More Foot soldiers are walking Out of the Fortress gates.. the Six Princes are inside.. Soldiers pushing the Big Canons.. and Men sitting on the Horses.. with Bows and Arrows.. I turn to Look at YOU.. and I am on the foot.. I see YOU raise UP the Bow.. and Other side are the Enemies lined UP.. generals On the Horses.. I see YOU grabbing the Two Arrows.. Putting on the End of the strings of the BOW And pulling it back.. I turn.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please wait.. Please CONSIDER.. and I see you turn YOUR head and looks at me.. and YOU look forward.. and the aiming the Arrows and hand let goes and It shoots Out and fires.. I can't believe it.. I just can't and I see the two Arrows and It hits two enemy soldiers and they both Die.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. the Chief general ON top of the tower raises UP his Right hand with the Sword and Blows the Horn.. Arrows shoots fires and I can see it UP in the air.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please.. consider.. and I pull out the Sword.. looking at the Blade.. and the Seven Men behind Me all pulls Out their swords.. For HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Let us Fight and Protect.. and I see the enemies soldiers running.. and I would start to run with the Seven Men.. and the Two sides clashes.. I am swinging the Sword.. just thinking about YOU.. I can't let YOU down.. Let us fight and Protect the CROWN PRINCESS.. it is for YOU.. and I am swinging the sword.. the blades hits each Other.. and I see one enemy soldier.. He looks at me.. and I jump UP and swing the Sword and goes across his Neck.. My seven Friends are surrounding and they are all close to Me.. as I hear them shout OUT.. and I turn to look back.. I see Arrows flying Out.. More arrows flying across.. I see two Large Canon Balls with Fire falling from the Sky.. killing Many Enemies who are running across.. I see YOU on the Horse.. MAH MAH.. It is HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I look at three of the closest friends.. My sword points Back.. Protect the Crown Princess.. Please go and be close to you.. and the three friends looks at me.. and they turn to go back to YOU.. and I just can't.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I can't focus when YOU are Out here.. I can't even fight right.. I asked YOU to consider.. It is so dangerous OUT here.. LOOK at this raging war.. and I turn to LOOK back.. I see One enemy running at me.. with the Sword I would jump and move back.. I swing the Sword and it hits the blades.. and I move forward and Bash into him.. and I jump swing the Sword and it strikes him down.. I turn to the Left.. to the right.. so many Men fighting.. I see many enemies are falling by the sword.. I just can't go ahead.. I turn to look back.. I see YOU still on the Horse.. with the Armor and Sword.. and YOU are swinging as riding on the Horse.. I see More men running towards you.. I grab the Sword and I run after.. I can't let Them go attack.. I need YOU to RULE.. I need YOU to be the Next On the Line.. I would RUN and RUN.. I can see the backs.. I would start to swing the sword.. and Hitting One Back to the Next.. to the three and four Men falls by the Sword.. and I would say.. Protect the Crown Princess.. I am yelling Out Loud.. and Screaming Out Loud.. Protect the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and More of the Men turns.. and LOOKS at YOU on the Horse.. as YOU are swinging your sword looking down.. as all of the Seven of my friends.. and I would surround making a circle.. as One Enemy approaches I would jump forward and swing the sword and He swings back.. blades hitting each Other.. the Chief Generals are raising the swords.. telling the Men to Protect YOU.. More men would surround YOU

MAH MAH.. With the Sword in my Hand.. and we have WON the battle Again.. and I can feel the tears.. I am in so much joy.. the soldiers.. we have WON.. and I raise UP the Sword.. MAN SAE to Crown Princess.. the Seven Men behind Me.. wiping the tears with me.. they raise the swords with right HANDS.. MANSAE to Crown Princess.. and I raise it up the sword and SHOUT.. MANSAE to HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and the Seven MEN raises the sword with right Hands.. MANSAE to WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MAH MAH.. we have WON.. and I turn around.. and the seven Men turns to look at the Gates of the Fortress.. I see YOU coming out of the Gates.. Your RIGHT HAND.. holding the Sword.. and I just can't believe my eyes.. as YOU are on the Horse.. I see More Horses.. the six Princes has joined the Battle to help YOU to WIN this War.. the Chief generals and Commanders.. they all line UP.. as YOU raise UP the Sword.. the MEN all shout.. MANSAE to CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE TO CROWN PRINCESS.. MANSAE TO WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE TO HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would run UP.. and two Knee on the ground.. with the arm up and Head looking down.. the Seven men runs UP.. two knees down.. heads looking on the ground.. arms UP and all of the MEN.. COMMANDERS.. CHIEF GENERALS.. GENERALS.. Soldiers.. all fall on two Knees.. Heads all looking down and arms UP.. saluting the Crown Princess.. and I just can't believe.. we have won this Battle.. but we have WON for the Crown Princess.. these are ALL of YOUR MEN who has joined hands and Joined the forces.. uniting to Fight for this Nation so that YOU can stand Strong.. as I am looking on the ground.. I would close both eyes.. going back when I was young.. I would be crying.. I turn to LOOK at the Target.. I would walk to the Target.. looking at the Red DOT.. I am looking at the arrows.. It hit right on the DOT.. SO many tries and I have failed.. I even wanted to give UP.. because I kept on trying to shoot for the red DOT.. but the Arrows would fly in so many Odd directions.. I was going to shoot for the last time and maybe give UP.. the swordsmanship may not be for Me.. and I would stand alone.. LOOKING at the Art sketch Paper.. LOOKING at the Picture of YOU.. I would hold both hands and My lips touch Your Lip of the paper picture.. and I would Place the Art sketch Paper on the Ground.. and I would say MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. If this Arrow does NOT hit the red Dot.. right IN the Middle of the spot of this target.. I may end UP not going to become this warrior.. but to fold my dreams for Good.. I would grab the Bow.. pulling the strings of the Bow.. I may have to bury my dreams forever.. Always wanted to be by Your Side.. to Protect YOU.. to serve YOU and to be a part of Your Life.. but If I can't even hit the target right.. what good is it for trying.. I would hold the BOW in front of me.. grabbing the Arrow on the Ground.. LOOKING straight down at the target.. I would put the end of the ARROW and PULL it back with the strings of the BOW.. and I am aiming.. I feel the tears falling from my eyes.. I always wanted to be by your side.. even though YOU may Not love Me.. I am Not asking YOU to love Me.. because it does NOT matter for Me.. as Long as I KNOW that I love YOU.. just to stay and be close to YOU.. your presence means everything to me.. that is what Love does when YOU love.. and I would let my hand go.. the Arrow shoots and Flies across and it hits something.. I grab another Arrow.. putting at the end of the Strings of the BOW and pulls the strings back and I am aiming the arrow.. I can't let my Dreams go.. because I need YOU close.. I need YOU here with me.. YOU know that I love YOU that is why I can't ever give UP and My hand lets go and when my hand lets go of the strings of the Bow.. the arrow shoots Out the second time.. and I hear it hit something.. I am Not sure if it hit the target Or not.. I would drop the Bow on the Ground.. and I look on the ground.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the picture drawing of YOU.. and I would hold with both hands and I am walking looking at YOU through this Picture.. DO I have to let my Dreams Go.. dreams of letting YOU go.. and as I walk and stop by the Target.. I lifted UP my Head to look at the Target.. I just couldn't believe It.. I see two Arrows Hit right ON the red Dot.. and as I am looking at both arrows.. My tears.. I feel my tears running down both cheeks and I would cry Loud.. I can't believe it.. after trying so many Months.. Many nights.. broken nights.. thousands of arrows would fly.. Never heard it hit anything.. passing by this target many times.. But Now.. finally.. as I lift UP both hands.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the picture drawing of YOU.. I would say.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. I wish that YOU were here with Me.. what YOU could see.. I can't believe It.. ON this very night.. I was ready to fold My Dreams.. I was ready to give UP my Dreams on trying to be the swordsmanship for YOU.. so that I can go TO you.. to Protect YOU.. to fight the battles for YOU.. so that YOU do NOT have to enter any Battlefields.. to protect with this Sword.. with this Bow and Arrow.. to show you how much I love YOU and will Fight for YOUR NATION.. even if I die in the Battlefield.. YOU will know that I will Never stop Loving YOU.. as I am looking at the two arrows.. I did Not expect it to Hit the target.. I had a feeling that I would fail again and this time it is for good.. that maybe it is NOT right for me to ever see YOU.. live a life like a MONK instead.. But I gave this One Last try.. Knowing I will fail.. but I had to try one more time before I bury it in my heart and to never look back.. LOOKING at this Picture of YOU.. this Art Sketch Paper.. I knew.. this is it.. the last chance I can go.. the last chance I can try.. even told my father.. If He can make two last arrows for me.. if I can't hit the target that I am giving UP my Dreams of Swordsmanship.. He was behind me as I would shoot the last two arrows.. He started to cry.. when he walked to see me.. my both hand grabbing HOLD onto the end of the Arrows and it hit the target on the red DOT.. I have never seen such a MAN cry but He cried with me.. telling me.. MY DREAMS will come True.. that ONE DAY I will see the Crown Princess.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. that as LONG as I KEEP ON trying.. I can see YOU one day.. and HE cried Loud with me.. we both wept bitterly because I love YOU so Much and HE KNOWS HOW MUCH I LOVE YOU.. as I am looking on the ground.. I am here.. Just can't believe this second war.. and once again WE have won.. and YOU are here.. CROWN PRINCESS IS here this TIME.. YOU have see US fight and WON this war together.. I have dreamed for this DAY TO HAPPEN..I see you Point the sword at ME.. telling me to speak.. SO I lift UP my head and I look UP.. and the Other hand goes Back and I pull out the Ark Sketch Paper.. and If may I.. and I see you point the sword again.. Both hands grabs the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and I would say.. I kept this For a Long Time.. I was ready to give UP my dreams of the Art of swordsmanship.. I remember the Night that was the last.. I saw the Art sketch paper it was on the ground.. I would lower to Pick it UP and I saw this Picture.. it is YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I wanted to be Close to YOU.. even though I was far Off.. that I was living so far and I knew that I just could not go IN like this.. to prove that I can be a soldier who can Protect.. to be a warrior who fights.. I knew I had to do something.. I was about to give UP on that dreams.. I saw this Art Sketch paper.. I took hold of it with Both Hands.. and I would KISS the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. before I let it go.. before I give UP my dreams.. to become a MONK instead.. I saw it.. I saw YOU.. and I would say.. the last two Arrows is all I need.. is all it is going to tell Me.. but when I saw the Art sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. in my Heart.. I wanted to be close to YOU.. I did not want to let It ever go.. and I cried that night because if I failed.. I will let it go and bury it forever in my heart.. and never look back.. the two Arrows is all I needed to see and I saw It hit something.. on the red DOT.. my father cried with Me.. and He told me this.. that I will see YOU.. that I will be close to YOU and will fight on the Battles for Your Behalf.. for the Nation and for Your People.. I am here right Now.. and we have WON together.. but all it took is looking at this Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I came here because I knew.. But I am here because I love YOU..I felt so Lonely at One Point.. at the Lowest of My Life and It was Only YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. It was Only YOU.. I cried when I saw YOU gone.. I remember watching YOU leave.. Sitting on the Horse.. I kept on calling Out to YOU.. But it was one of the Servants who took Me.. and Told me that I just could Not go.. I was reaching Out both arms.. shouting Out.. as the Horse was leaving.. in the Garden I felt so Alone.. crying in the dark.. I just could Not believe that YOU were gone.. I stood alone.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. I just could Not stop.. But kept calling Out to YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I would watch the Moon come UP before Me.. and I would shout with the Loud Voice.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am going to YOU.. very soon I will go to YOU.. when I heard the News.. and MY father died.. and came to the Garden.. I saw His body and with the servants.. We would bury my father.. I just could Not take this kind of Pain any More.. as I sat that night

Park.. that It was located on the Third BIG TREE.. I would be walking with tears in my eyes.. because I knew that I should of Came before.. that I should of come on the appointed time that YOU TOLD ME to come.. I could of saw YOU.. if I saw YOU.. I would of grabbed unto Your Arms.. and pull YOU closer into my arms because I would say.. I love YOU.. I would say to YOU.. if I came that day.. the appointed time that YOU gave me the Note to come.. I would asked YOU.. it is very dangerous to climb up.. when the rain comes Hard.. things can happen where YOU would Not believe but.. that Courage and being so brave.. I just wanted to say.. I am so sorry that I did Not come that day.. But.. I now see why YOU have a Big Heart.. such a Big Heart that I want My Heart to be as big as YOURS.. so that I can tell YOU in many words.. how much I love YOU.. and to tell YOU how much I been missing YOU lately.. that I know deep inside.. I need YOU.. I need YOU to need me too.. I need to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I need to say to that Heart.. Your Big Heart.. that I love you.. and I am so sorry that I love YOU and I thank YOU.. thank you for being YOU and also having that Big Heart.. NOW I know how much My Heart needs to grow.. so when My Heart starts to grow as BIG as YOURS.. I can finally say.. holding YOUR BIG HEART.. I love YOU and kiss Your Big Heart and tell Your Heart over and over.. this is why.. I love YOU.. that is why I need YOU so that I can continue to say to YOU that I love YOU.. Feels like the Spring time.. as I am holding the Empty Glass Jar.. around my arms.. I am thinking of Your Heart.. I know that I am missing your Heart.. I want to see your Heart.. WILL you let me see that Heart of Yours.. and I am walking and I stop by this Tall Tree.. and I am wondering if it is this Tree.. I been waiting for this very day.. the weather Out side has been very cold.. looking at the Snow falling.. even it has been raining a lot around this time.. I could Not come to this Tree.. I do missing this Tree.. which I received a Note.. YOU be telling me to come to this Tree.. and I just could not come around for a while.. But.. I am here today.. wondering.. DID YOU leave your Heart here.. I had a dream.. dreaming of the day.. my arms can wrap around.. looking at YOU.. but.. asking if I can see your Heart.. if I am allowed to speak to your Heart.. will you let Me.. will you allow me to talk to Your Heart because that is all I want.. that is ALL I need.. I want to first tell Your Heart.. how much I love you.. but I needs to say It.. I needs to tell It to your Heart.. without Your Heart.. My Love will Not last.. it cannot go very far.. that is why I am asking first for Your Heart.. so Please.. tell me that YOU have left your Heart behind.. as I would sit on the ground.. I would pull out the Paper which was inside this Glass Jar.. I started to Miss you Last Night.. for some reason.. I started to Miss you all over again.. I would be sitting at the desk.. and ON the corner of the Desk.. I would put your Picture.. and as I turn to LOOK at the corner of the Desk.. I would grab Your Picture and I would take a closer LOOK at YOU.. looking through the Picture.. I would say to YOU.. even though YOU may Not hear me.. YOU may never hear my voice.. I would look at Your Picture.. looking at YOU.. I would smile and say to YOU LOOKING at the Picture.. I miss YOU.. and I do Love YOU.. but first.. why do I keep on missing YOU even though I have your Picture with me.. why do I keep telling myself but Looking at YOU through this Picture.. I know that YOU can't hear me now.. But I know.. I believe that One Day YOU will hear me Loud and clear.. Holding YOU close in my arms.. I will say to YOU.. LOOKING at and asking.. is this YOUR HEART.. can I tell YOUR HEART that I love YOU.. will you please let me say it.. that I love YOU.. as I would be looking at the Picture of YOU.. I be very sad.. because when I start to think about missing YOU.. I really really do Miss YOU.. and I would pull out a clean piece of paper.. there is nothing written but just a Blank sheet.. I would grab me the Pencil.. and of course I have Never seen Your Heart.. but start to draw a Picture of Your Heart.. thinking maybe this is How YOUR Heart Looks Like.. the shape and the size of It.. I wish that I can have a picture of Your Heart.. How Big is it.. the shape of It.. can I take A picture of It.. only If I can see YOU.. and YOU holding a Heart in the hands.. I want to click to take a Picture with the camera.. but.. only thing I can do at this Point.. just draw a Picture.. Picture of Your Heart.. and I would put.. Can I write My Name in Your Heart.. would you say something about It if I do.. Please tell me if YOU don't want me too.. because I want to write my Name in your Heart and speak to this Piece of paper of drawing of Your Heart.. I love YOU.. I want to say It.. and tell YOU what My Heart truly feels.. I received few months back.. a Note from You because I have been asking for Your Heart.. that I want to see your Heart.. I been calling YOU On the Phone.. only hearing your Voice.. that is all I can receive from YOU.. but.. I want More than just hearing your Voice.. that is why I started to ask.. If I can see Your Heart.. will you allow me to see Your Heart.. can I get close to Your Heart and Know what is really in your Heart.. I want to hear Your Heart.. even though it can be very far.. even it can be from a long distance.. but I am just asking for this One thing.. Can YOU Please tell me where is Your Heart.. and I be putting YOU on the Loud speaker.. wanting to hear your Voice.. and YOU telling me you be sending me a Note.. when the Note arrives.. YOU are going to tell me where to GO.. and There.. YOUR HEART is going to be there too.. after I heard this from your voice.. I waited for the Note.. day would go by but it be very long as I would wait for the Note.. the Note comes and it arrives.. as I received the Note from YOU.. I open the front door and some one put the Note on the ground.. I do remember when I opened the front door.. I only found the Note on the ground.. I would go to the Note to pick It UP.. as I hold on and looked at your writing on the Note.. I would read it.. It is at the Park.. there is a Tree.. on a top of the Branch.. the Heart is there waiting.. I should of gone when I received it.. I should of walked right when I received It.. but it was raining Hard and I would hear the wind blowing Hard.. and I wanted to go but why on this day.. and I would just close the Door behind.. I do regret not going at that time.. I should of Gone because It is YOU.. I even told YOU that I be waiting for YOU.. for the Note which it came to me.. I do remember grabbing the Note.. walking into the House.. the Next day.. the Snow comes.. and It be very cold.. for weeks it would be cold with the Snow falling from the sky.. I should of Gone is what I should of done.. the weeks turned into Months now.. I would be waiting for the Snow weather to die down.. But why did I not come at the time YOU send the Note to Me.. as I am sitting on the Ground.. I am just looking UP at this Tree.. hoping maybe your Heart is still here.. am I just too Late.. did I come at the wrong time.. It is because I did Not come right.. I am looking at this Note.. with the Date YOU have written it to tell me when.. But.. LOOK at the time now.. I have decided to wait a little more longer.. and I should of come at the time.. at the Moment YOU wanted me to come and to show the Heart.. as I am sitting.. I would pull the Paper.. the Drawing of Your Heart.. I am still wondering.. will YOUR Heart be here.. I know that deep inside YOUR Heart is not going to be here.. because it is ME to be blamed for Not making it ON time.. I am the One to be blamed.. I was asking YOU.. I was begging for a Chance to see Your Heart.. I wanted too.. I also even brought the Camera with Me.. it has the straps around my Neck so that I can take a picture of Your Heart.. Just in case Your Heart falls from the Branches.. I can catch YOUR Heart with the Glass Jar.. as I would sit on the ground.. I feel so Sad.. I feel so Hurt all of a suddenly.. because I missed Out.. was I afraid to come because of the rain.. if it did Not rained at all.. I know that I would of showed UP 100 percent.. and I would push back saying.. maybe tomorrow.. but even when the tomorrow became today.. the weather did Not help me at all.. I should of still gone.. I should of come even though it could of delayed just for one day.. I choose not to come because of the weather.. but if I should of known that I would Not see your Heart here today.. then I could of made up my mind to show UP.. because do you not see that Now I am here.. I have come to see your Heart.. prepared and brought everything I told you that what I am going to do.. I told you that I wanted to take a picture of Your Heart.. to get the closer look.. I even told YOU that I drew a Picture of Your Heart.. Not sure the shape or the size but I wanted to know if it is going to be the same imagine of the drawing and Your Real Heart.. I want to see It.. I want to see Your Heart.. I want to hear Your Heart.. even it can be at the Way top of the branch.. as long as it is You.. it is Your Heart.. as I am looking at the Piece of paper.. looking at the drawing of Your Heart.. I wish that I came sooner.. I wish that I came early.. I wish that I would of walked and ran in the rain.. Just to see Your Heart.. just to see the Shape and the Size of Your Heart.. no Matter How wet I be.. or can be sick from the rain.. I could of catch the flu from the cold rain.. but at least I could see Your Heart.. taking the Picture of it.. your Heart.. and when I get the Photo picture of your Heart.. I would of pulled Out the Blank sheet of paper.. and LOOKING at the Photo picture of Your Real Heart.. I would try to draw the One that is in the Photo picture of Your Heart.. and let you see that this is the Heart I see on the Top of the branch and

Please.. Please give me YOUR Heart because I love YOU.. why can't YOU give me Your Heart so that I can tell YOUR Heart and say to your Heart How much I truly.. really really love YOU.. but the feeling would be at the Best as I would be able to turn the other way.. after I get to see Your Heart.. after I get to LOOK at the Drawing Picture of what I think your Heart looks Like and looking UP at the TOP Branch of this tree and looking actually at Your Heart.. and taking that picture.. taking the picture of Your Real Heart.. and I am able to print out the Photo Picture.. and I do not have to think if it is right but when I am holding the Actual Photo Picture of what I have taken of the Real Heart.. I know that I do not have to imagine it.. but can trace it and copy drawing on a Clean Blanket of Piece of paper.. and I can tell YOU.. I have seen Your Heart.. and here is the proof.. here is what I saw.. and when I saw Your Heart.. I just had to take a closer LOOK.. looking from the ground UP with my eyes was very Hard to know.. but when I put the Camera up.. and I looked through the Lens of the Camera.. able to focus and ZOOM it to get a closer look of your Heart.. I was Moved.. my Heart was moved.. I was touched deep inside.. because It is Your Heart I am looking at.. it is Not another person's heart.. but it is Your Heart who I be loving.. and wanting to see even from afar.. I would say.. even though it be hard for Your Heart to hear me from the ground.. I will tell Your Heart.. I love YOU.. for the first time.. I am saying it loud to YOU.. will you please accept these words of Mine to YOU.. that I love YOU.. and I am just waiting for the day.. I can Hold Your Heart in my arms.. I want to hold Your Heart and tell YOUR Heart.. I am so sorry that I missed YOU.. but I am Not sorry for loving YOU.. missing YOU hurts me More than anything else in the world.. but as long as I can get close to Your Heart.. I only want to see this Heart.. to tell YOU that I love YOU.. allow me to love Your Heart please.. will you please let me love YOU more.. love your Heart too.. as I am sitting on the ground.. I would start to cry.. I know that I came just too late.. I am only looking at the Piece of Paper.. the One that I drew thinking this is the shape and the size of Your Heart.. but I needs to see Your Heart.. not what I think it should be.. I should of come.. I have waited just too long or delayed too long.. Now I am missing Your Heart.. tell me where is Your Heart so that I can go.. go where your Heart is so that I can tell YOU how much I love YOU.. I am so sorry that I came just too later.. Please forgive me and help me again so that I can see Your Heart.. I want to say to Your Heart.. I love YOU.. please tell me.. where do I go now.. where is Your Heart so that I know where to go.. please tell me.. please.. I am looking at the Moon.. I am waiting for YOU.. just thinking about YOU.. Looking at the Moon.. I feel like I am starting to Miss YOU.. when can I see YOU.. can I hear Your Heart.. Can I see your Heart.. Please let me touch Your Heart.. because I need YOU.. I truly need YOU to love me Back.. only wish.. Only hope.. only dreaming if YOU can show me your Heart.. as I am looking UP toward the Moon.. I can picture in that Moon.. the Shape of Your Heart.. I want to see Your Heart.. My arm stretches Out.. my hand opens Wide.. my Other arm reaches.. stretches Out.. My Other Hand opens Wide.. if YOU can hear Me.. If YOU are able to hear.. Please listen with Your Ears.. Hear my words because I am talking to that MOON.. can YOU Hear through that Moon.. I want to know.. If YOU are Unable to hear my words.. If YOU are Unable to Hear my Voice.. On the Other side.. Is it Night.. because at this Point.. the Sun has went down and Now.. it is the Moon's Turn to get UP.. and I am looking at this Moon.. Hoping that It is Night on that Other side.. if it is.. Can YOU please come Out.. If YOU are able to see that MOON.. Please come Out from the Place YOU are.. I want to tell YOU something.. I want to speak and tell YOU something.. my hands are both open wide.. asking.. Can YOU Please give me Your Heart.. I will be standing still.. Until you give me Your Heart.. I been asking YOU for a long time.. Did you not forget.. ever since I first laid my eyes On you.. all I ever wanted is Your Heart.. All I ever talked about and asking YOU is for that Heart.. Please give me Your Heart.. Please Open your Heart.. I do not want anything else but Just for YOU to show me Your Heart and Please.. let me have Your Heart.. My Heart has been breaking.. It has been shattered into Pieces.. I am trying to put the Pieces of my Heart together.. without YOU.. I know that the Pieces of my Heart cannot come together.. that is why I am asking for Your Heart.. Only if YOU can show Me.. so that I can see the Shape of Your Heart.. and I can open my chest.. and Put your Heart inside the Chamber.. which been waiting for your Heart.. I need Your Heart.. I want to have YOUR HEART and Put close to my chest.. to see How can I live without YOU.. I know that I can't unless I have Your Heart.. I told YOU already.. How is my Heart be broken and How was it torn into Pieces and Cannot put it back together.. I broke my Own Heart.. So that I can put Your Heart instead of Mine.. that is How close I want to feel Your Heart.. to Feel the Beating of Your Heart.. to hear the Beating.. to hear the sound of Your Heart.. I want YOU very close.. SO close that I can hear Your Heart inside of Me.. so that I can see YOU close.. I am truly missing YOU.. I don't know why.. because it is so Hard to explain at this Point.. if YOU are asking me.. WHY do I miss YOU so Much.. I just saw your Picture.. which I would have it close to Me.. I would take a Look at your Picture.. and only Wish.. Only Hope when can I see YOU close.. will you ever come close to Me.. because the More away YOU are.. the More I want to see YOU close.. the More I miss YOU.. the More My Heart breaks.. breaking and hearing the sound of my Heart.. just breaking into pieces.. and I want to know.. Does Love hurts.. does it hurt you.. because for Me.. it hurts to Love YOU.. it hurts me so much that I can feel the breaking of my Heart.. I want to cry.. I want to cry a lot because it Hurts me more when I don't see YOU.. when I miss YOU.. when I step out side.. and I stand still in silent.. and I look UP.. toward the Moon.. I want to shout at the Moon and Cry when looking at the Moon.. I would say.. Can YOU please come Out tonight.. I wonder if it is Day.. Or is it Night.. If I am able to see the Moon tonight.. can YOU Please step Out side.. On the Other side.. do YOU see the Moon appear before Your eyes.. Look UP at the dark skies.. do you see the stars.. do you see the Moon.. if YOU can see the Moon appear before YOU.. Can YOU Hear me.. Can YOU Hear my voice.. Listen to my words because there is something very Important that I would like to say.. to tell YOU.. and I know for sure you know this and maybe heard it more than thousand times by Now.. But I never get tired of telling you this.. I just hope that YOU never get tired too.. If you do please tell Me so that I can stop.. if YOU hear me.. Please LOOK at the Moon.. can YOU see that MOON.. the same Moon that we can see together.. as I am standing still alone.. I am here by myself.. Looking at that Moon.. I been coming here.. from time to time.. when I think of YOU a lot and my Mind.. it gets very busy because I am thinking of YOU.. before I came Out side.. I saw Your Picture.. I saw the Picture of YOU smiling.. when I saw Your Picture.. My Heart was touched.. I put my hand on the Chest.. and I can feel the Beating of My Heart.. and I would tell Your Picture looking at YOU.. I love YOU.. YOU do not know How much I love YOU.. I am still here.. I am still able to tell YOU.. I am able to write to YOU still.. that shows that I have never lost the touch.. that I think of YOU always.. when I saw Your Picture.. it felt Like I got drunk.. I wanted to fall.. and sit on the floor.. I felt dizzy and my knees got weak when I saw YOUR picture.. I told myself.. I should Not keep on looking at your Picture.. because once I start to look.. I would miss YOU.. Missing YOU leads me to walk Out side.. Missing YOU leads me to Look at the Moon.. and my eyes would wander looking UP at the sky.. Looking for the stars.. and Looking for the Moon.. I would close my eyes.. Both eyes shut closed as I would put YOU in my Head.. a Picture pops in my Mind as I would think of YOU.. and envision YOU.. wanting to see YOU.. I would open my eyes.. as I am staring at the Moon.. I would look at the Moon.. and I would open my mouth and say.. Do you know why I am here tonight.. Do you know why I am lead here.. I saw YOUR Picture.. I saw your Beautiful Picture.. saw Your Beautiful Face.. Now Look what YOU have made me do.. I am asking YOU if YOU can hear me.. Please say something back.. Please tell me something because My Heart is listening.. say something because My Heart is opened to listen.. Say something because my ears wants to hear Your Voice and Your Words.. Please say something because tonight is the Night I really want to hear YOU.. that this very Night.. for some reason I am missing YOU much more.. even though every night I miss YOU.. and I want to see YOU every day.. But on this very Night.. I really really want to hear from YOU.. I want you to Know that I love YOU.. I really really Love YOU.. Why can't I hear from YOU on the Other side.. is it because YOU can't hear me at all.. YOU know that every time I come Out.. every time I look UP at the sky and Look towards the Moon.. I am always expecting to hear from YOU.. but every night.. I would be the One who is speaking.. saying something as I am looking toward the Moon.. after I am done speaking as I am looking UP at the Moon.. I would be so sad.. My Heart be broken.. My Heart be breaking

Heard on the Other side.. What If YOU are Not there.. What if It is Night there.. and yes.. the Moon has come UP.. but YOU are Not Standing Out side where YOU can see that Moon.. I want my Voice to be heard for YOU.. I want my Words to be Heard to YOU.. because None of it is empty words.. it is Words that comes from My Heart and My Mind.. from Inside of Me.. that is why I been asking for YOUR HEART.. If I can have your Heart just for One Night.. if I am able to put Your Heart inside the Chamber in my Chest.. and I close the Chamber of the gates of my Chest.. I know that if YOUR Heart is inside of Me.. I can walk out alone.. stand by myself in the Night.. Looking UP at the MOON.. so that My Words can be Heard.. so that My Voice may be heard.. and if YOUR HEART is inside my Chest in the chamber.. I would look UP at the Moon.. and YOU are able to hear all of My words.. my Voice.. and even what comes within Me to tell YOU.. YOUR Heart being so Close to Me.. I know that My Words would not go empty.. and I can just express and tell YOU.. and YOU can Hear me.. that YOU can hear me finally and that I know that YOUR HEART is able to hear my words and My Mind.. and to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I would know for sure.. I can come Out side every night.. without questions rather YOU are listening or Not.. But I know for sure YOU can Hear Me.. that YOU know How much I love YOU.. YOU know How much I miss YOU and able to know my Heart.. that I am able to tell YOU.. and I can finally cry Out Loud knowing we are looking at the SAME MOON.. that YOU can hear me speak.. YOU can hear me talk and share.. that I know YOU are listening to My Heart.. that I can finally hear Your Heart.. listen to the Sound and the Beating of Your Heart.. when it comes so Close.. I can tell your Heart.. DO YOU HEAR ME.. Can YOU Hear me.. because NOW I know.. Now I feel.. Now I hear that my Dreams.. hopes and wishes can come true because I have Your Heart.. I really Need Your Heart.. because I love YOU.. I am sitting down by the shores.. Looking at the Waters coming In.. On a big rock.. I am sitting and just thinking about You.. I am looking at two Empty Bottles.. for some reason.. I started to drink.. the More I think of YOU.. the More I miss YOU.. on this Night.. why do I feel the aching in my Heart.. I wish that I did Not look at your Picture.. I received a Letter from YOU.. and YOU are telling me YOU are going some where so far.. and telling me that It is going to take YOU a while and after hearing these words after I read the Letter you wrote me.. I just could Not take it any more.. I could Not stay inside the House.. so Leaving the House.. and so I wrote YOU a Letter back.. But.. I am wondering at this Point.. what am I suppose to do with the Letter that is In my Hand.. if I am unable to reach YOU.. YOU have Not tell me where YOU are going.. and how long will it take for YOU to come back.. I would look at your Picture.. and looking at the Letter.. I am feeling so much hurt right Now.. it is because I am missing YOU so Much.. All I ever asked for is Your Heart.. I would ask if I can Have your Heart.. is it just too much of asking YOU for It.. because I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. without Your Heart.. there is Nothing that I can do.. then please tell Me.. How do I win YOU over.. How am I suppose to make YOU mine.. what is the secret so that I can take action.. and also tell YOU because I am Not sure what to do at this Point.. So I have decided to come to the Place.. this Rock has been here ever since I first came.. I would sit on the Top of this Rock.. when I want to see you the Most.. I brought with me a Shot Glass.. of course I did not bring YOU picture with me this time.. because I know if I do.. I would be taking a Look.. which it can make my eyes pop out whenever I see Your Picture.. I wish that YOU knew this Heart of Mine.. why can't you see through.. why can't you understand me.. or relate with me what I am going through right Now.. I have bought three bottles of Rice wine.. so far.. I have finished two Bottles.. I am taking a Look at the third.. the last One.. I don't feel drunk at All.. but I need to wash away what is in my Mind.. what is inside my Head.. I am trying to wash YOU away.. trying to forget.. or to erase YOU off but the More I try.. the More I just can't.. so Please Help me for once.. Help me How to win YOU over.. I am still trying over and over.. but I am asking YOU now.. if you know the answers.. if you know the secrets of How to Make YOU Mine.. I feel like I am dying inside right Now.. I feel like I am ready to die instead because I want to have Your Heart.. if only YOU can show me Your Heart and I be able to hold Your Heart in my arms.. and to able to speak to Your Heart.. will you let me tell YOU something.. will you let me speak to Your Heart.. because that is the Only One thing I want.. what I truly need.. to have your Heart and to tell Your Heart.. I have a Heart too.. and My Heart just loves YOU.. How can I transfer this Message to reach Out to YOU.. How can I tell you that I love YOU.. YOU are so far away.. there is this distance between Us.. and I would like to get close to YOU.. How can I get close to YOU.. to your Heart.. Please tell me and let me Know.. as I am looking at the last Bottle.. my hand grabs.. twist the TOP and open it.. holding the Glass shot in the Other hand.. the One with the Bottle.. my hand pours into the Shot Glass.. what if I get sick.. so sick that I rather die instead.. I feel so sick in my stomach because I need to see YOU.. I need to hold YOU Near in my hands.. in my arms and I would say to YOU.. will you please show me Your Heart.. How can I see your Heart.. Please.. let me see your Heart and Please hear these words of Mine.. that I been here.. always waiting for YOU.. just to Love YOU.. and to tell YOU that I love YOU.. will you let me tell YOU these words of Mine to YOU.. that is why I need your Heart.. I need to know so that I can tell YOU.. but when YOU tell me that YOU are going to take a Long time and YOU are leaving going somewhere very far.. How can I tell YOU.. that is why I been asking YOU.. at least Leave Your Heart with Me.. let your Heart be close to me so that I will not feel like I can't do nothing.. as I am looking at the Shot Glass in my Hand.. I would open my Mouth wide and slam the Shot Glass with rice wine into my mouth.. since I did Not bring your Picture with me.. Now I am dying to see YOU.. I am starting to miss YOU because all I see is the waters coming IN and going Out.. I just can't stop.. but why can't I stop.. I would tell myself to stop.. but How can I stop.. it is because I love YOU.. How can YOU stop someone who loves YOU so much.. that is why I need to hear words from YOU.. If you can tell me to stop Loving YOU.. I know that I can finally rest in Peace.. but.. I still be missing YOU.. still be looking at your Picture and just wondering.. what If something can happen.. How would it be Like if YOU were here with Me.. and I be able to hold YOU in my arms.. and tell YOU.. looking at Your Heart.. even though the Time flies and many weeks and months has passed By.. I still Love YOU.. and If you are asking me.. why do I love YOU so Much.. how is it possible to love YOU this Much.. and if you are asking me and wondering on the Other side.. I would look at the One I am holding the Bottle of rice wine.. Looking at the Other hand holding the Shot Glass.. I would be pouring the Bottle of the rice wine Into the Shot Glass.. placing the Bottle on the ground.. I would be looking at the waters.. I open my mouth wide and pour.. slam the rice wine into my Mouth with the Shot Glass.. and I would close both eyes.. Just thinking about YOU.. I be thinking of YOU.. as I am going back.. I am standing inside the House.. and I hear the Knock On the door.. and I know that YOU are coming over.. after receiving the Message.. the text Message from YOU.. I open the front door.. and I see YOU standing there.. I receive the Letter YOU gave me.. and I wanted to ask if YOU wanted to come inside.. but.. YOU tell me that YOU needs to go.. and I watch YOU turn the other way and YOU start to walk.. where I stop seeing YOU.. as I close the Door.. I would unfold the Letter.. and a Picture falls Out from the folded Paper.. as I go down.. and I pick Up the Picture.. I look at You.. and YOU are wearing a White Dress.. and I just can't believe it.. YOU are so Beautiful.. especially in that White Dress.. But this is Not just an ordinary Dress.. It seems like something is going to happen soon.. It looks like a Wedding Dress to me.. and On the Letter YOU are telling me that YOU are going to get married.. and YOU have invited me to come to see YOU at your Wedding.. I am wondering.. with who are you getting Married too.. because I don't want to receive this from YOU.. why are you telling me to come if I am Not the One who is going to stand next to YOU to make YOU my wife.. If I am invited for the wrong reason.. I do not want to come.. I don't want to watch YOU leave my Life and go with another.. It should be Me who should stand next to YOU.. the One who can put the ring on your Finger.. But why did YOU write me this kind of letter.. It really hurts Me if YOU are telling me to sit and watch the One you love to be taken away from Me.. and I just can't believe you are telling me this.. so I would rip the Letter into pieces.. I just can't take this from YOU.. I don't want to receive this from YOU because YOU are Only hurting me More.. what have I done to deserve this Kind of News.. why hurt me when YOU know my true intentions.. My true Motives.. I know that if I stand next to YOU through Thin and through Thick.. through the good times and the Bad times.. I know that after a certain time.. YOU can Love Me.. why can't YOU give me a chance to proof that I can love YOU more

The prove that I can share and show YOU that It is real.. My Heart is real.. just too real sometimes but is it not better to be more real than to be fake.. that is why I can tell YOU.. for weeks.. for months.. I can still tell YOU that I loved YOU then and I love YOU now.. as I am sitting on this rock.. I open both eyes.. and I look UP to the Moon.. wishing why does has to happen.. to hear this from YOU.. I wanted to hear.. can I marry YOU and will you be mine forever please.. Let me be the One.. Please.. let me be the One to stand next to you and exchange the Vows.. the One who can say I do to YOU.. and the One who can put the ring on your finger and tell YOU.. thank YOU for being the One for me.. the one who I can love forever and say that YOU are Mine.. YOU know that I love you too much.. because I just can't stop but just Love YOU.. because I do.. truly love YOU.. really really.. just love YOU.. the Angel.. Your Angel who loves YOU.. it is because I really really Love YOU.. and this is the Only thing I can do and I can show.. and tell YOU.. which It means truly.. I love YOU.. I received and I would be wondering.. why would someone write me a Note.. but there is No Name telling me from who.. I have this note and tells me to go to the Park.. and there is a Big Tree.. I have this Jar.. it is an Empty Glass Jar.. I am sure I am going to be meeting.. and I see a Picture.. of course it is YOU.. I am sure that the Note has to come from YOU.. because why would anyone write me a Note.. So.. I have a Flower.. a SUN FLOWER.. putting into the Empty Glass Jar.. and with the Note and the Picture.. I would walk outside.. and I love the Sun.. it makes me really really happy when I see the SUN outside.. when the MOON comes UP.. I do get very sad.. because I start to miss YOU.. and I just don't want to keep on missing YOU when I see the Night with MOON up on the sky.. but on this Day.. yes.. I am so Happy that I did receive a Note.. I never receive notes from anyone.. but when it comes from YOU.. it does Not matter How many Notes you send.. just receiving from YOU means everything to me.. So I walk outside and I am thinking of YOU.. Not missing YOU.. but just thinking of YOU.. of Us.. the Hope that Dreams can come True.. So I am holding the Jar.. the Empty glass jar but the SUN FLOWER has entered inside.. So as I am walking.. I see the Park.. I am getting closer to the Big Tree.. and I keep on walking.. I am wondering.. Am I suppose to be meeting YOU here.. I am wondering.. what am I doing here.. I only received a Note card.. telling me to come to this park by this Big tree.. am I suppose to be receiving or am I suppose to be giving.. I am Not sure because I only read it to come here.. so I am standing around.. Placing the Jar.. the Glass Jar down.. I am looking around.. there is another Note.. the NOTE is taped on this tree.. I have the note card.. I have Your Picture.. so I know who I am suppose to look for.. but.. this Note.. I would pull the Note Out from the Tree.. it is taped.. and I would turn around.. it is a Drawing of a Heart.. I am thinking.. is this a JOKE.. a Heart.. and someone drew it with a pencil.. Now.. it is a Heart.. Yes.. I know I want a Heart.. I don't want a Heart with someone draw on it.. I am asking for a Real Heart.. Not a Heart that someone sketched and says it is a Heart.. Honestly.. I want Your Heart.. the One that is inside your Chest.. Not my chest but Yours.. I been asking for a long time now.. it has been so long.. and Now.. are YOU telling me that I am able to have a Heart.. or are you asking me.. if I can give YOU my Heart.. but.. I don't want to give YOU my Heart.. what if My Heart cries because of YOU.. what if YOU Hurt my heart.. what if my Heart does not work or feel the same once YOU take my Heart.. I am Not going to give YOU my heart unless you give me Your Heart first.. I need your Heart.. do YOU see that I am able to speak and share through this.. I am telling YOU.. right Now.. I have not forgotten.. I want... I really really want.. and I will say it over again.. I want it.. I truly want Your Heart because I been asking.. even praying and begging for Your Heart.. why I need it.. TO be honest.. what are YOU going to do with Your Heart.. if I am the One who loves YOU first.. and I am able to tell YOU how I truly feel inside and as been expressing and telling YOU.. how much I need YOU so Please give me Your Heart.. But let me ask you this.. what are you going to do with your heart.. are you just going to let Your Heart just sit there.. YOU know that at least.. I can have your Heart.. if YOU are able to give me Your Heart.. I can speak.. I can pour my Heart and soul and say something to Your Heart.. YOU know that I will never hurt Your Heart.. I can love YOU heart and tell Your Heart How much I love YOU.. so help me to understand.. what are you going to do with Your Heart.. I know that I can take your Heart close.. I can whisper and say that I love YOU.. I can speak and whisper How much I missed YOU.. the sorrows and the tears I had to deal with.. how I would cry in the nights.. when I look at the Moon.. I would say.. I wish.. Only if I can hold your Heart close.. if my hands be able to hold and carry your Heart.. by the MOON.. I would turn to LOOK at the Moon and tell the MOON.. do you see this.. it is the Heart who I love the Most.. able to show this MOON.. How I would be out in the Night.. looking and speaking to the MOON how much I wanted you close.. or wanted you near.. and I can show the MOON.. on this very Night.. just Look.. I am holding in my hands.. palm of my hands is this Fragile Heart.. do you see what I am seeing and I would lift it UP to show the MOON.. YOU have seen me out here.. and Here comes this Person again.. asking for the Same.. Night after Night.. here I go out.. turning and LOOKING at the MOON.. I would be raising UP my voice.. saying How much I missed YOU and needed you close.. Only If I am able to have Your Heart.. closer to me.. and able to speak and share My Heart to your Heart.. how much I want YOU near.. and How I am dealing with the times of distance.. when YOU are so far away.. I am torn down into pieces because I want you close.. and I would say.. if I have Your Heart.. if my palm of hands able to get Hold of YOUR Heart.. I know that in due time.. YOU will come.. YOU are not going to leave your Heart with me.. soon or later I believe you will come to get Your Heart.. that is why I want this Heart.. I want Your Heart.. that is the only way I know that I will see you soon.. as I am standing by this Big Tree.. I know this can't be a joke.. why would you do this to me.. DO you think that I am dumb.. because I don't want this kind of Heart.. I want the real Heart.. the One I can touch.. I can hold and feel.. and able to speak and say to the Heart How much I love YOU.. what am I suppose to do with this Heart.. I know that someone drew this Heart.. thinking this is funny.. But to Me.. it is Not that funny.. because I am serious about Your Heart.. I want the One who lives inside YOU.. so Please.. tell me that it is a sample.. that this is not a real Heart.. and I take a Look at the Note again.. this time.. a written on.. the Heart is On top of the Tree.. of course I missed this Line right here.. which Now I do feel so Dumb for missing the Purpose of this Note.. as I smile.. I know that YOU are Not joking.. it means it is a real Heart.. of course.. While I was walking.. I saw the Big Tree from the distance and It is very Big Tree.. I get closer to the Tree.. and I am able to look UP.. it looks so much bigger.. as I would lift up my Head to look UP.. can I ask YOU a Big Favor.. if I am able to see the Heart and I am able to get Your Heart.. can I please write My Name on that Heart.. will you let me.. will you allow me.. will you give me the Permission to write my Name on your Heart so that YOU will know that I did find your Heart and that I love YOU.. How do you know who loves YOU.. YOU will not know unless someone writes HIS NAME and tells YOU to Your Heart.. I love YOU.. I never stopped loving YOU.. that is why I want to tell YOU and remind YOU many times.. the Name will cross your Mind.. when YOU LOOK at your Heart and YOU find a Name.. YOU are able to remember that this Name.. this person Loves YOU.. He loves YOU to death that He also writes.. the way I received the Note and it was written.. I want to write.. Not ON the Note.. and No.. I am not going to draw No Heart and paste ON you.. but I want to write on your Heart.. that I love YOU.. when YOU feel like it seems like NO ONE cares at least YOU will know that I do.. that I care and I do love YOU.. so please.. Give me Your Heart.. I need Your Heart.. why do you have to make it so Hard for me to get to Your Heart.. why.. YOU know that this tree is Big.. is is very Big with many branches going UP.. which I am sure it is going to be so hard for someone like me to climb.. if the branches breaks.. you know I will fall on the ground.. But.. how am I suppose to get to Your Heart.. as I am looking UP at this Big tree.. and I am much smaller.. I look way UP.. at the way top of the tree.. a Branch is there.. I do see the Heart.. I see Your Heart sitting on the top of the Branch.. it takes my breathe away that I finally see your Heart

The Heart.. That Heart is the Only way.. YOUR HEART.. as I look at your Picture.. I would speak to your Picture.. right Now I have NO idea.. but I got a Note from YOU and I have come here because of the Note YOU gave me.. I also have the Other Note which was taped on the Tree.. and I saw the Note.. it has a drawing of Your Heart.. and I even read the NOTE down below.. telling me to LOOK UP on this BIG TREE.. I looked UP and way UP on the first Branch.. the top branch.. I see a Big Heart.. and It must be Your Heart which is sitting on top of the first branch at the TOP of this Tree.. I am holding the Shot glass into my hand.. as My other Hand holds the Bottle.. Bottle of SOJU and I am pouring into the Shot Glass.. Only words I would say to YOU.. I miss YOU.. I don't know why but this very Night.. I am missing YOU.. wishing that YOU are here with me.. I just want to hold YOU in my arms.. Hold YOU close.. Hold you tight.. But No matter how many times I call for YOU.. calling YOUR name.. it seems like YOU Never answer.. Can you Hear Me.. Can you hear my voice calling out to YOU.. calling out your Name.. I put the SOJU bottle down on the Floor.. my other hand holding the Shot Glass.. both eyes closes.. I open my mouth.. I would slam the Shot Glass.. the SOJU hits me.. as I would sit.. I put the Shot Glass on the ground.. Next to the Bottle of SOJU.. as I would open both eyes.. I look down at the Bottle of SOJU.. it is Now Empty.. I just finished taking many shots.. I just needed to get.. My Heart Hurts.. because I am missing YOU.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. as Your Picture is laying on the ground.. my hand grabs the Picture.. I pick up your Picture.. looking at YOU.. LOOKING at this Picture of YOU.. WHY do you have to be so Far.. that because of the distance.. the distance that keeps us apart.. I wish that I wouldn't miss you like this.. but there are some nights that I would feel.. My Heart gets heavy.. and for no Other reason.. I just miss YOU out of Nowhere.. as I want to cry.. I just want to pour down my tears.. and I would get UP slowly.. standing Out side.. On this very peaceful Night.. I would Look UP.. Looking at the stars.. and I turn to LOOK at the MOON.. my arms stretches further.. towards the MOON.. the Other Hand with No picture.. I am looking at the MOON.. I wish that the MOON can come close.. so that the MOON can hear Me.. I know that since you are far off.. YOU can't hear me.. NO matter How loud my voice gets.. NO Matter How louder I want to speak UP.. these words.. Words I want to tell YOU.. these words to Tell your ear.. I need your ears tonight.. so that I want to speak.. speak to YOU.. to Your Heart.. to tell YOU.. I miss YOU.. I miss you so much.. sometimes I just don't know what to do.. what can I do.. what could I do.. missing YOU.. wanting to dry my tears.. Missing YOU.. my words wants to speak to YOU.. but.. YOU can't even hear me.. so what am I suppose to do if I want to speak and tell YOU.. I love YOU.. I love YOU that I am missing YOU.. missing you which is driving me crazy.. I feel so Crazy right Now.. look at me.. Look at what I am doing right Now.. as I am looking UP.. I am looking at the MOON.. as my hand.. my arm is reaching for the MOON.. I want this MOON to come close.. Please.. can YOU come closer.. I want to say something.. I need to speak.. it is my Heart.. I want to speak from My Heart.. so Please.. if you can lend me the ear so that when I finish speaking.. I know that YOU know where.. I want to show you the Picture.. the One who I love the Most.. my beloved.. the One who I miss the Most.. the One who I wants to tell YOU about.. If you can come closer.. and show me your ear so that I can tell YOU.. my Heart.. needs to say.. and I know that when YOU see the One who I love the most.. Please tell Her.. I miss Her.. and I love her.. can YOU do me a favor.. I am asking YOU from My Heart.. as I am looking UP at the MOON.. I don't see any reaction.. the MOON does not come near.. Does Not come close to Me.. as I lift up the Other arm.. the One my Hand is holding your Picture.. I would look at your picture.. looking at YOU closer.. I open my mouth LOOKING at your Picture.. it is so sad that I am talking to a thin air.. I feel like NO ONE knows and NO ONE cares.. Not even the MOON seems like He cares.. I asked the MOON to come closer.. if that MOON has an ear.. that My Heart.. I am burning inside to speak.. to say.. to share what is deep in my soul.. I asked the MOON if he has an ear.. I wanted to show that MOON the picture of YOU.. when the MOON looks at YOU.. this Picture I am holding in my hand and show the MOON.. so that He is able to know who YOU are.. That Moon is able to know because the MOON is lifted UP.. able to find YOU.. able to know who you are so that if that MOON has the ears to listen.. I wanted to sent a message to YOU through this MOON.. If the MOON is able to find YOU on the Other side.. and if YOU ever go Out side on this very peaceful Night.. if the MOON spots YOU.. He can call out to YOU.. AND say Your Name.. calling out to YOU by asking YOU.. calling out your Name so that YOU can turn and KNOW.. a message must be delivered.. but.. No matter How many times I tried to call.. I know that YOU are unable to receive.. even this MOON does not respond to my calling.. I am asking this MOON.. but the Moon seems like He don't know.. So I am here.. standing alone on this very night.. wanting to tell YOU that I miss YOU.. I wanted to tell YOU.. But.. How can I tell YOU if you are so Far away.. miles and miles.. distance apart.. what am I suppose to do if I can't tell YOU what is in my heart.. this afternoon.. I saw your picture.. when I saw your picture.. I would smile.. saying YOU are so Beautiful.. YOU are so Lovely and so wonderful.. I would smile looking at your Picture.. but at the same time.. my Heart.. grew sad on Me.. I went to a shop.. and got me a Bottle of SOJU.. I did not want to drink it at first.. I don't like getting drunk.. I hate waking up with hang over.. but for some reason.. I went to a shop.. and GOT me a Bottle of SOJU.. grabbing the Shot Glass out of the kitchen cabinet.. I placed it next to the Shot Glass.. as I would look at your Picture.. I started to miss YOU.. I would ask myself.. WHY all of a sudden this feeling over came me.. that I felt so Sad.. it is because I want to be with YOU right Now.. I want to tell YOU.. Hold you close.. hold you tight and pull you close.. wrap my arms around you and tell Your ears.. How much I love YOU.. I never stopped loving YOU.. and I will never stop.. I will keep on loving YOU.. looking at your picture.. sometimes I am overwhelm by your beauty.. I never get tired of looking at YOU.. my hand touch my chest.. and I can feel how much I love to look at YOU.. and only If this Picture had ears.. if your picture had ears.. I know that I do not have to be going outside.. looking at the MOON.. if your picture only had ears to listen.. How lovely would that BE.. I can just speak.. speak from my Heart to tell YOU.. whenever I feel I miss YOU.. or My Heart feels to say I love YOU.. I can just tell YOU.. how much I do.. but.. I look at your Picture.. I don't see any ears.. so I know that Your picture is unable to hear Me.. so what am I suppose to do if I can say these words to YOU.. it hurts me More than hurts YOU.. there are times when I miss you more.. days when I want to see YOU.. when I want you near and close.. so that I can feel your warmth.. see your smile.. and to even hear your voice from time to time.. I got the Shot Glass.. with the BOTTLE of SOJU.. and I would pour the BOTTLE OF SOJU into the Shot Glass.. and I would look at Your Picture.. I would say.. Do you know that I miss YOU right Now.. please say something.. Please tell me that YOU also miss me too.. I need to hear something from YOU.. but.. I know that If I tell you these words.. YOUR Picture has No ears to listen.. and I would say to myself.. why am I always hoping.. I am hoping that YOU can see me.. I am hoping that YOU can hear me.. but NO matter how many words I would speak looking at your Picture.. I don't hear any words back from YOU.. I grab the Shot Glass.. Open my Mouth wide and slam the SOJU into my mouth.. I am asking YOU.. I am asking you because I miss YOU so bad.. I miss you like there will be NO tomorrow.. I miss you because I love YOU.. and I know that even though the tomorrow may come.. will YOU able to hear me.. hear me say to YOU that I miss YOU and that I love YOU.. as I would turn.. I would look UP to the Moon.. I would open my Mouth looking at the MOON.. thinking of YOU.. thinking because I love YOU.. thinking because I miss YOU.. I would look UP.. at the MOON and say.. Only if this MOON can hear Me.. How nice would that be.. because there are so much to say.. if YOU can only come down.. and if you have ears.. I be asking YOU.. can you lend me your ears on this very Night.. can YOU do me favor and send a Message.. Do you see this Picture.. DO you see the One who I love the Most.. Please remember this Picture and the Face