A holistic approach for the modern dater, Caitlin Cooper is a dating expert and wellness coach who combines her years of work in matchmaking, meditation, and health coaching in these mini-coaching sessions to help people learn to love themselves and find love.
Your last example is really bad and defeats all of your prior examples. If being invigorated by the knowledge that you have a fully functioning body and good health is where you draw power, what happens when that no longer becomes a source of power due to age or accident? Seems like a practice of building a house on sand.
Men don’t like bitches even a little bit this book might be the worst thing that’s happened to dating in years. Every man I’ve ever talked to and is in a good marriage including me talks about marrying their wife because they are sweet, or kind not because they were confident and independent.
Watching this a second time really helps if you are still dealing with trust. The first time I watched this, I found it hard to take of the advise and not try to pick apart what she's saying. Grieving sucks. I Appreciate the vid.
3 ESSENTIAL TIPS FOR ONLINE DATING (NEW YEAR NEW DATING PROFILE): According to Match.com, online dating sites are at their busiest between Dec. 26 and Feb. 14. Match reports 50 million messages sent and 1 million dates occurring during this time, which is referred to as peak dating season. If you’re single and considering signing up for online dating, get ready because this year with a pandemic and more people at home than ever before this may be the busiest season yet. So what does this mean for singles? It’s time to revamp that dating profile, update your photos and rework the profile language to stand out from the rest. Number 1- PHOTOS Clear high-quality photos will go so far in a world of snapchat filters, bathroom selfies, and the gurus of cropping and angling. It also says that you aren’t willing to make the effort to put into your profile. Which they can extrapolate that you aren’t going to put that much effort into dating. I encourage everyone to get a few professional photos with a clear shot of your face and one full body as these are swiped on more than photos with sunglasses, groups or low res photos where people can’t see your face - these types of photos do not instill trust as subconsciously they appear as If you are hiding something. Also, when looking at what photos to choose or when you are taking new ones, proper posture goes a long way! Slouching, tilting your head too much to the side, or any kind of body language that doesn’t show confidence can be misconstrued and send the wrong message. The profile photo is your biggest punch - don’t assume they’re going to scroll! Working with professionals helps give a discerning eye as most of us can’t judge ourselves objectively. So when in doubt hire a photographer, gather friends for help, or hire a coach! Number 2- PERCEPTION MATTERS This should go without saying but your dating app should be an honest representation of yourself and position you in a way that reflects what you really look like, what you actually do on a regular basis, and what you’re looking for. You will attract what you put out there and it’s better to show than tell but If you don’t ski or paddle board regularly then don’t post photos of you doing those things just because you looked cute. If you don’t read regularly do not post your favorite book you read 20 years ago to look smart. If you don’t have kids be mindful of posting photos with kids as people will automatically assume they’re yours. If you want marriage and kids, say that. If you are looking for something casual say that. If you don’t own a helicopter don’t show a photo of you getting into one Often people project an image of what they think others want on dating apps as opposed to presenting who they are and connecting with people who like you for you. You may think your life is boring compared to the profiles you’ve seen with Machu Picchu mountain tops and camel rides in the Sahara but that life and person isn’t for everyone. After all, there is a lid for every pot so instead of trying to fit into someone else’s view. This is your marketing campaign for love and if you falsely advertise or misrepresent yourself it will all be revealed at some point, so be honest and clear with how you present yourself to get the best results. Number 3 - CONTENT MATTERS Here’s a fun drinking game to play with your friends. Open your favorite app and start scrolling and take a drink every time you see a profile that says ‘I don’t really know what to write on one of these things’ ‘I’m looking for my partner in crime’ ‘I like to have fun and enjoy life or my favorite ‘I love to travel’. Don’t get me wrong being clear with who you are and what you stand for is important but these types of platitudes leave you one in a sea of many and can make you sound boring, predictable, and that you put in very little effort. There is no content within those statements so get more specific so you don’t get passed by. A good rule of thumb is to focus on character over characteristics. Sharing your values will resonate with like-minded people. If you focus on characteristics “like looking for someone fit, or a certain height or certain level of education” you risk sounding superficial, rigid, or overly picky. None of which are attractive qualities. I like a punchy profile that shows sincerity and authenticity, gets specific about what you do on the regular, clearly says what you are looking for, and tells a story paired with a funny joke or two. Keep things playful and light and stay away from negative language like “no drama” or heavy sarcasm, cynicism, or pessimism. It is more effective to focus on attracting the right people than repelling the wrong ones. Think about your best stories, adjectives your friends use to describe you, and the stuff in life that lights you up as your focus of what to write about. I like it when people create conversation within their profile because it shows they understand this is a two-way street and it’s hard to talk to a stranger. I call this dating app peacocking where you write prompts that create engagement. For example: Ask me about my senior prank - hint a car was hidden on a roof. My favorite dish is chicken parm with sauce on the side - prove me wrong I can recite the opening scene from scarface - if you ask me nicely ;) Now of course you need to be honest about what you are saying here but this will give someone the opener to say hey! I did a senior prank too - tell me about yours and I’ll tell you about mine. Or they could open with why your dish in their opinion isn’t the best and now poof you are in an engaging conversation learning about this person and didn’t have to suffer through the laborious openers like “hey” “sup”. Now that you have the photos, positioning, and content managed here are a few more tips that I hear from men and women. What men say: -They’re more likely to swipe yes to a woman who is smiling in her main photo or has more smiling photos than not. Alternatively, it’s the opposite for women who tend to swipe more on men smiling with no teeth or no smile and looking directly into the camera. -Sunglasses, hats, or photos that cut off part of your face. Men instantly feel they can’t trust you and subconsciously think “what are you hiding?” as they assume somethings wrong or else you would show your face! The same goes with not showing a full-body photo. Many guys will tell me they won’t swipe on someone for not showing full body because again they feel they are hiding something. The same goes with extreme angling, filters, and group shots of you and your friends and never showing a pic of just you. -Be mindful of being pet obsessed in your photos. If you show every photo holding your dog or cat it can give off an impression of being obsessed with them and can subconsciously show you don’t have room for anyone else. Again, no reason you should lie about having a pet but a series of photos that you think were funny of you in matching outfits with your cat could be misconstrued for batty. What women say: -Women ask me all the time what’s with all the guys holding dead fish? Hey, there’s nothing wrong with having interests like hunting or fishing (depending on the person) but it’s not a turn-on to see a dead animal while scrolling for a date. If you want someone to accept that you do that then by all means show a photo of you in your gear or on a boat going out to fish but skip the trophy photos because the intention behind the photo can be misconstrued. - please stop posting bathroom selfies, shirtless selfies, or gym selfies. Have a friend take a real photo of you or hire a photographer because that will show effort and badly lighted selfies just look trashy and ego obsessed. - Be mindful of posting photos with other hot women or even your sisters as they can make you like a player and/or are attempting to show what level of hotness you are expecting. Either way just don’t do it. Even if you are looking for a certain level of attractiveness you don’t have to be so upfront about it. At the end of the day authenticity, clear photos, and light-hearted storytelling will go a long way on dating apps. So be you, get help from others, and swipe with intention and you’ll find your way. Credits: Editing by Anthony Nicholas instagram.com/archit__8__8/ Music courtesy of Bad Snacks: ru-vid.comfeatured
