Is this channel about history and movies? About my hyperfixations? Both?
Who can tell, to be honest.
Listen, I don't know, sometimes I geek out on something so much that my friends get tired of hearing about it so I make a video essay instead in a labor of love. For that reason, I'm super grateful to anyone who watches these videos, and incredibly honored about the comments I get asking for more. Really, thank you so much! However, I'm sorry to them and to the algorithm but I work three jobs so it takes me an eternity to make a new video, but as long as I have niche hyperfixations I'll probably have one in the works!
I'm pushing 60 and I just love the 'in a perfect world' stories of Heartstopper, Love Victor, etc. in the same way that I love Disneyland and watching loving, happy gay vloggers travel (mostly to Disneyland) or live idyllic lives in some remote country. Although my favorite queer film will always be the original The Boys In The Band, well, the first 3/4 of it. (I don't need to see myself in Michael's breakdown every time.) Even though I work in a faux-liberal city with liberal people, mostly college-age, so much is a facade and I will never fit in. It's just more comforting to dream and live in these visions of a utopian society than the nightmare of reality. I'm not sure how much of this has to do with the video but it's the thoughts and feelings that it brought up in me.
Idk if you read theses comment Jose. I've been seeing this vid in my recommended for weeks and only avoided it because I get tired of other queers talking about how tragic our lives are. I am admittedly very drunk tonight but also sobbing through every second. Giving voice to our tragedy is the only way to connect, and connection is the only way to heal. Thank you for posting this <3 I know I'm not the only sad faggot in the building tonight but I hope we all get what we deserve and that is peace.
Gay men with AIDS were often abandoned by the gay world. This happened particularly as gay men became exhausted by the epidemic. Let's not romanticise what happened. I was there, I had AIDS and when my health status became obvious, I was abandoned by one and many. The people who tended to stand by me were straight friends who were not exhausted and a few lesbian friends from a support group I had been a member of prior to my own health crisis. This was my story but was clearly the story of many. Don't be seduced by images of thousands on the streets of Melbourne, my home town, holding candles on !st December, or by what might occur in films like "Holding The Man". Homophobia does not stop with straight people, gay men and women are human too.
I do believe gay and queer experience is extremely different and the gap between them widens. It is because gay men for instance just like to have have sex with other men, whereas queer people question all the fundaments of human biology. This conditions the whole perception of the world, which has lots to do with feeling of misery. Gay men are mostly driven by best sexual fulfilment in partner, whereas queer people are not very sexual. Queer people focus on abstract concepts and ideas more, reaching the depths of abstraction gay people normally do not venture into. Because gayness is biological and queerness is cultural. I am gay and I am by no means queer, I would not have problem with being queer if I was, I am a man and I am very aware and connected to my body.
gotta be honest, i'm just going to start asking white americans "oh, like John Kaczynski?" just to piss them off. what are they gonna do? try to steal the regions natural resources? AGAIN?????????
Saw a movie called Between love and goodbye when I was a closeted teen, barely had access to any gay friendly content back in the 00' in fact ; well, talking about misery, this movie was excrutiating
As I hovered above him, he spoke eloquently about sadness and boredom and humanity, and it was compelling, but the one thing that bothered was how his hair looked.
Huh? Did you watch the video? It covers more then just media centered around cis gay men? The thumbnail is meant to grab people's attention of course the author would use popular movie posters to help market the video? This is such a weird thing to nit pick.
So happy to have just discovered your channel. Thank you so much for this video, loved both the concept and content, so soothing and captivating. Beautiful work. 😊✨
In defense of The Temple of Doom The BEST Indiana Jones movie: The 'gross" food that the indigenous are eating are presented in two extremes. The extremely poor in the Indian village and the extremely wealthy in the palace where the Temple of Doom is hidden. The food is only "gross' from a matter of an outsiders perspective such as that of Willie Scott but the more seasoned adventurer Indiana Jones tolerates because as he points out the village is poor and even then they share what little they have. On the other hand the feast at the palace is with the Indian royalty and British eating rather extravagant and weird foods. While the poor are eating "gross" food in order to even survive the rich are eating "gross" food for the sheer spectacle of it. There is a bit of irony there. The movie shows the two extremes as a means of compare and contrast. I am not here to say the movie is above criticism because it's not nor can I speak to what offends other people but it's a favorite movie of mine because it is fun but also because it explores themes of friendship, courage, and compassion as well the doom in which greed inevitably leads to. I also suspect that the British in the movie were secretly involved with the Thugee cult and the child slave labor.
Excellent question! First, I’m not actually on my full bed, I moved my mattress onto my coffee table because I live in a duplex and I could put the camera upstairs (no rig, so I can’t do it on my bed). Second, I had to hide a pillow under the one you do see so that I would be slightly raised and the angle on my face wouldn’t be weird. So it wasn’t actually comfortable at all.
Not only an incredible essay, but a few of the the films and shows you recommended/mentioned are ones I’ve missed up until now an am excited to check out. My thoughts on the essay haven’t finished settling yet, but figured I’d comment for the algorithm even if I don’t have much to add to the conversation 😂
26:18 ayyyy my brother was in my hometown’s adaption of Fun Home when he was 11. I’m glad he had that representation at that age. He’s still only 14 now, so we don’t know yet if he needed it, but I’m glad he had it.
Even though there is more acceptance in some countries we, people from not so accepting countries, still live in misery not being able to see our struggles in the media. Yes, joy is beautiful and needed but I generally fail to see a part in me in that while I struggle to express myself or even just be for myself, the joy that I feel is only for others. Queer misery is part of the queer heritage, coming from the past that will never be forgotten, or an experience of the past that some of us still go through. Queerness is beautiful with its misery, confusion, anger, and joy that creates queer history, art, and community. Eventually, I think that's how we are who we are.
This is such a fantastic video. I'm obsessed with books that tell tragic gay stories. I don't know why. Maybe I should see a therapist. But some of my favorite books in this vein are: Giovanni's Room by James Baldwin, Call Me By Your Name by Andre Aciman, Dancer From The Dance by Andrew Holleran, What Belongs to You by Garth Greenwell, On Earth We're Briefly Gorgeous by Ocean Vuong, Dream Boy by Jim Grimsley, The Words That Remain by Stenio Gardel, A Little Life by Hanya Yanagihara.
Oh, I just got to the end of the video where you mention your Science Fiction concept. In addition to tragic gay stories, I'm also obsessed with sci-fi, specifically Mars colonization stories. 😆(seriously!). I would highly recommend, if you haven't read it already, Kim Stanley Robinson's Mars Trilogy (Red Mars, Green Mars, and Blue Mars). It's often considered his magnum opus and one of the best Mars colonization sci-fi stories. I'd also recommend Luna by Ian McDonald (though I admit, I haven't read it just yet). It explores political dynamics of the ruling family dynasties on our colonized Moon, mainly focusing on the Corta family which hails from Brazil. Granted, neither of these stories are written by Latin American authors, they're both white guys, but still they might trigger some stylistic or plot inspiration. :)
The way I see it at least, the main problem is that the vast majority of media about queer joy is just boring, plain and simple. There seems to be a misconception that queer joy has to be wholesome, fluffy and ultimately sanitised. Maybe it's just the fact that I never got to have the neat and tidy little cis gay experiences that are portrayed in stuff like heartstopper, but I personally will always find way more queer joy in something like the Rocky Horror Show, because even though only two out of its 5-ish explicitly queer characters survive, at least they get to be interesting and have conflict beyond "Oh no, what if people are mean to us for being gay?"
I watched the whole thing. I definitely agree with your take and love to see diverse storylines about the good, the bad, and the ugly when it comes to LGBTQ+ film. I saved this video.
As a teenage gay I had a period when I watched a lot of gay movies and series, which made me depressed. Since then I have not watched any of that shit, because being gay is so much more than tragedy and life's hard enough already without these movies/series exaggerating that. I'd like to see more realistic portrays of life as a gay, with the ups and downs, without being super fit or a socialite
Babbyyyy you seem so lovely and very handsome. The intro to this video made me sad. I wish there was a way to show off our personalities more on these shitty dating apps, not just torso photos and cringe travel photos. That's why I prefer to socialise with gays in bars/clubs, because then you see the "complete" person.
Red White and Royal Blue was absolutely awful. I must admit i dont watch gay media, and this movie reminded me why. Nowhere near an accurate representation of gay men in relationships. Its corny, and unrealistic in the same way heart stopper is You could swap out the main characteds as women, and you wouldnt even notice. I dont mind women writing gay media. I can just always tell when they do.
I feel like people just forgot about how queer artists were the Masters of transgressive cinema, Literature, and art. Genres like dark Fiction were some of the few places where you'd see actual queer representation. So there's a rich history in this field, and I understand those who have been trying to lighten things up, but I don't think abandoning that rich history helps.
in defence of "Boy Erased" it's a movie based on a real experience a gay man and honestly as a queer person living in a country where homosexuality is crminelized I prefer Boy Erased
your point about loving being confronted with your self and the ramifications of being closeted when watching “love, simon” is sooo relatable for what “i saw the tv glow” has done for the trans community. being confronted with and endlessly trying to harness queer misery is the only way we have a chance at survival, endurance, and joy
i think a big issue is that people pretend we should only have queer misery _or_ queer joy stories, instead of having both. but i think both are needed because they serve different purposes, and at the end of the day, if they touch someone in whatever way that means, i think they did what they needed. queer joy allows me to step into a world without the pain of our own, and queer misery allows me to think about our own worlds problems and my own lifes problems without having to deal with those things for real. ive found myself in both, personally. great essay! plus it doubles as a good recommendation list lol
