Hello, my name is Dr. Natalia P. Zhikhareva known as Dr. Z in the transgender community, and I am a clinical psychologist specializing in working with transgender and nonbinary adults with over 15 years of experience. This channel gives you top-notch information to help you break free of gender dysphoria and to get access to the information you may not otherwise have due to the lack of gender specialists.
NOTE: I work solely with adults, and all video content is marked for adults only. The information shared is based on experience working with adults only.
I hold a doctorate degree in clinical psychology, and I am a licensed clinical psychologist in the state of California PSY28888, the state of New York 024701, the state of Texas #39338, and an out-of-state Telehealth provider state of Florida #197. My pronouns are she/her, for more info, at www.drzphd.com.
Visit my website, www.drzphd.com, for more info and content!
A jackass who regretted his transition tried to bully me to crossdress against my will That’s what made me feel pushed into the trans ideology I want the truth You haven’t met every man who has ever crossdressed Therefore you can’t say with certainty that all crossdressers want to be trans So please stop implying it
Dr Z -- Clinicians may refuse estrogen at the start of transitioning, and may ask you to live as a woman for 1-2 years before hormone treatment. So, for many, early estrogen is not a possibility.
Yes, more trans people need to be reminded the only trans person they should be comparing themselves to is themself from a week or two(or longer) prior. One size fits all solutions should never be applied to people. It has been proven time and time again they don't work when it comes to humans. When you try to make up a solution to fit all people, you end up with something that doesn't work for anyone, or only very small subsets of them. It's quite unfortunate that sometimes the patient needs to be the doctor's teacher. Even more so that some people don't really get a choice in the matter depending on where you are.
Balanced, accurate information from trans people and specialists is being drowned out by the tsunami of right wing drivel, ignorance, bigotry and hatred. The lying bigots and bullies appear to have a free hand to abuse trans people and create an atmosphere where we are considered fair game. Hard enough to come out anyway without all this -It pushes me back into the closet
Thank you for all your information. I truly believe that I would have committed suicide not knowing the knowledge you've passed on so freely. Thank you for your care, extensive knowledge and the positive energy you send out to me and others. I've been following you since 2020 and I don't believe I've missed a video... truly life saving!! Dr Z!! There are just no words to thank you enough!!
I know I have internalized transphobia. Whats worse is that my being trans is intimately mixed with CPTSD. I know I hold too high a standard for when I look in a mirror. Recently I signed up for two trans forums to hopefully make friends on line with people going through what I am going through. But after the introduction posts I found that not only did I not feel trust for them, I saw them as fake (not so much as fake women, but fake in playing tea parties with trannness) and I wrote several posts that I deleted rather than post because my experience seems too intense, too real for these forums. Not that they are not real. They share real issues. But my issues arent just insecurity, fear, self transphobia, ... its immense rage. All my life people have destroyed me over and over again. I didnt ask to be trans. I didnt ask to be brutalized as a young child. I did t ask for a childhood of abuse and neglect. I didnt ask for the CPTSD that has made my life so hard. Yes, I am being transphobic to myself and others despite my empathic nature to show compassion for all things. But mixed up in that is rage. Rage against life, the universe and everything. Ive spent the last several years tearing myself apart to try to minimize my CPTSD. It is an extremely painful process. Now that I know I am trans I understand myself so much better. But nothing alleviates the rage. From days old I have been brutalized. Why? Why do I have to spend my life trying to make up for the crimes of those around me? For being born female with a male body? It angers me greatly that I now have to suffer so much to try to be the person I am when I should have been born the person I am. I should have been loved instead of raped, tortured and mutilated. When I was traumatized I should have been cared for not traumatized further to meet the sick needs of society. I am not just at odds with myself, insane convention, etc...I am at odds with existence. Those existential crisises I had as an infant never left. Being internally and externally transphobic are just a few pieces of the puzzle. Thanks Dr Z for another great video. Its nothing I didnt already know but it helps me clarify the issue. I wil get rid of these old 'tapes' as I did with other detrimental internalizations but the rage at the injustice is another story. I shouldnt have to suffer to be the person I am. I had nothing to do with being made this way.
My daughter wants to transition to a boy. I think it's a mistake. When she's with me I can tell she acts girly. When she's not with us and shes with her trans friends she wants to be called a boy. She has a boyfriend also. And she likes to dress girly sometimes. Her mannerisms are feminine and I know she's not acting. I don't know how to talk to her about this. 😮💨
[1:58] I think I'm the viewer you're referring to, so thanks for clarifying. I agree with everything you've said here, 100%. This was my timeline: I'd been learning about trans, NB and gender non-conforming perspectives online for some time for other reasons before I started to sense that I might be trans myself. But once I did, I took a step back and looked inward for the answers, pretty much as you recommend. A gender therapist would have been great, but I ended up not needing one. I guess I'm fortunate that I'd already had a lot of experience with self-discovery and some really good noise filters. I was used to being an outlier in other ways, so I knew better than to confuse myself with others' opinions or endless information hoarding while I was in a vulnerable place. And I've mostly stayed away from social media because of all the egos and endless noise. I started my online information deep dive only after I found the clarity to know that I was indeed trans. Not long after--it was within a few days--but by then I was in the right place to draw from sources such as the Gender Dysphoria Bible and your channel, which were extremely helpful for filling in some of the blanks. At that point, I was no longer wrestling with my subconscious, so it was easy to see what applied to me and what didn't. Instead of confusion, I had a series of revelations about things in my life that I'd always struggled to understand, which ultimately led to greater self-compassion and resolve. So, yeah--be very careful not to get lost in other people's noise. A life lesson for everyone. But when you find what's right for you, it can be a wonderful thing!
Sadly, the Internet has become a cesspit of misinformation. I’ve seen many professional and highly educated content creators angered and disheartened from toxic information found on many social platforms. Whenever I’m researching something, I have to cross-reference and doublecheck the information I find is accurate and not another rabbit hole! Even ChatGPT cannot be relied on! It is a sorry state and only hope the Internet will one-day pull itself out of the Wild-West condition. Whenever I do research, I tend to use Google Scholar as it attempts to filter out the junk.
Came out in 1988 at 11 years old. Went full time in 2019 at age 42 as Avita began my medical and surgical journey in 2023 HRT start 1/2023 orchie 7/2023 then GRS 7/9/24 and FFS 10/9/24 in the last quarter of 2024 then VFS in first quarter 2025 then I will no longer be in transition and will not identify as transgender only a girl who was born a boy and transition to a girl. I Will get to no longer being clocked once FFS has healed. Being I am almost 50 and going from borderline to passing is huge. Also, I don't use fake video or picture filters on my channel content. I look in real life the same as I do online unlike most who who's these fake filters to fake pass online or a MTF timeline of passing online but don't in real life. The biggest issues is the money $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ to do the surgeries!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I really didn’t expect getting triggered by this! I’m late 40s and lived my whole life in denial through fear. The primary factor of my denial was influenced by my parents. As a child, I displayed telltale signs of a feminine personality that my dad didn’t approve of. So, he would ‘encourage’ me to do more boyish things, which I hated. As a young adult he would begin pester me with phrases like, “haven’t you got a girlfriend yet?”, “what’s wrong with you?” to the point I used to respond with a lie just to ‘shut him up’. I’ve never felt I was in the right body, but have continued living to other’s expectations - which is both damaging and emotionally draining. And now married with kids, I’m at a stage of regret and guilt for not acknowledging and working on my dysphoria. But society was so much different between the 80s and early 00s from how it is today. And I am now working on accepting my true-self. It’s freaking the life out of me!
you are amazing, you always come in to the right moment. it's so incredible how you help people without (i assume) being transgender or nb, it means you are so empathetic with people around you 💜 i wish i could have therapy with you but you only attend USA clients :(
So glad the content is helpful and yes your assumption is right and I am often transparent about my identity as a cis woman. I truly don’t see other gender identities as different, all I see is people. It’s like talking to ppl and knowing they all have different professions.
For better or worse, I decided to watch a lot of detransitioner videos in addition to my other research to make sure that I wasn't getting trapped in an information bubble with confirmation bias. Fortunately, I'd already been journaling about my gender for months and had a good sense of myself, so the mix of pro and anti trans information and people over-generalizing about their experiences didn't really throw me off. In the end, I couldn't find any "why transitioning was a mistake" stories that had any bearing on my thoughts and feelings, and I became more attuned to the triggers and nature of my own gender dysphoria, and was just too darn curious about how hormones might affect my brain...
Really are a true role model of my brain. You say in words exactly what I want to say and the points in this video are so helpful. Thank you dr z for explaining my brain to me every time.
There is no shame in being harmless. People have the natural human right to live life however they choose to as long as they are harming no one. Just relax and enjoy being who you are! One thing I like to express is; WHERE OR WHO IS THE DAMAGED PARTY!!!!!!!!
Thank you so much for this video! I've been for months going back and forth researching more and more things on the internet, trying to understand myself, and I just always end up creating an infinite loop of being extremely confident with my identity and then being extremely insecure. I really do think I need to take a step back and focus on myself and what I'm feeling rather than hearing what other people say. Again, thank you for the amazing advice Doctor!
This is very, very real. I was in denial for years then had a pretty sudden realisation that I might be trans, and I panicked into searching for information from all sources, good and not so good. It only made me more confused and worsened my mental health, until I took time away from info cramming and things just made started to make sense on their own - the simplest answer was the right one, that yes I had known all along but hidden it away, and my desire to transition is genuine. Also, compulsive reading of transphobic/gender critical media to "hear the other point of view" is *not* a good idea. Anti-trans propaganda isn't a valid "other side of the argument," it's a bunch of lies designed to scare people out of transitioning, don't screw yourself over by reading it.
There will ALWAYS be the other point of view and must not be confused with professional guidance! For example, many believe that vaccine is bad, however medical guidance says otherwise.
As far as I know I think she is working with her clients over distance online, I am from Czech republic too, although H.Fifkova in Prague helped me a lot, she never went as deep as DRZ.
Hi. I can only work hard n a capacity of psychologist in the 4 US states I hold a license. Sometimes I do offer services to people abroad or other states BUT they are coaching services not therapy! Meaning, I can to diagnose dysphoria and can only work with clients who already clear on their identity and need more transition coaching to help them.
Another wonderful video. To those searching I suggest Dara Hoffman-Fox's book You and Your Gender Identity. It is a workbook on getting you to understand your gender identity better. So far it hasnt covered anything I didnt already know and understand but its about getting you to understand yourself better. Some parts I could breeze through, others left me shaking. Not that ita scary or fear inducing. It helpa you get closer to yourself and that can rattle nerves. Of the 8 billion people on this planet there are 8 billion different people on this planet. You can make trends. You can make categories and demographics. But all of that is just allowing the human conscious mind to wrap around the complexity. Speak with any evolutionary biologists and they will tell you all the scientific terms and defintions we create is extremely limiting. Using them helps us organize our learning and understanding but it doesnt come close to the reality. The truth is we are all different and no one is right and no one is wrong. We are all individual expressions of life and existence. Putting everything into two categories isnt just extremely stupid, it is abominally cruel. Nothing is black and white. Until we lose such simplistic and moronic thinking we will never evolve into a civil society.
The internet and social media can be a wonderful place to find information and advice but in that process you will find a lot of negative opinions that can realy upset you. You know the ones they always say the same thing and refuse to accept that anyone can change their gender and lifestyle. You have to develop a thick skin and learn not to engage with these blinkered people. Just be thankful that we have Dr Z and a few others that do know what to say and encourage us to complete our journey. As the saying goes, dont let the ba5tards grind you down !"
I'm neither a scientist nor a psychological specialist. But I can't believe the amount of mis and dis information out there. Completely out of proportion with the actual number of transgender people there are. I don't know how you manage to not explode with the influx of stupidity. Thank you, Dr. Z, for supporting us.
This was spot on. I grew up in the 60's. No one even talked about being transgender. I knew I was different, but couldn't quite put my finger on it? Thought maybe I was just weird? Lol I didn't dare tell anyone! I had closeted gender dysphoria very strong as a child & going through puberty. What I struggled with is "Why do I feel female psychologically, but am attracted to women?" I didn't understand my gender identity & sexual orientation were two different things. As a young adult, I tried repressing being transgender with no success. In relationships I would always see myself as female during intimacy. I was in denial for years. Any past watching of porn was exclusively lesbian, and I fantasized being the opposite sex. Thanks for helping me see it was an extension of myself. I wish I saw this video 20 years ago! I would have saved myself years of self judgement. It's never too late to transition. Thankfully, I was able to find a good gender therapist, I'm embracing who I've always been, and have started HRT.
I definitely had the mindset of sacrificing myself for years. My logic was that it was better for me so suffer rather than inconvenience those I cared about. When I finally told my now ex-wife about my being trans she immediately ended our 12 year marriage and asked me to moved out regardless of whether or not I actually transitioned. I was doing little things to "take the edge off" that had gone unnoticed (she told me as such). When the rest of family found out, I was accused of being selfish, hurting my children, destroying the family, ruining my life, and taking the "easy way out." Fast forward almost 3 years later and my children are supportive and I'm doing better in life (professionally, financially, spiritually, physically, & mentally) than I ever was before I transitioned. I do miss my family, but it was there decision to walk out of my life. Thankfully, I met some awesome folks over then years that are supportive. I still have a long way to go, but I smile when I see my reflection and that is a gift.
At first, I was in group 2. The signs were all there in my face, but I was in denial. I felt icky just saying the word "trans". Now, pretty sure I'm in group 1. The floodgates have opened...
Dr. Z, so glad to be back. I have been in mental health treatment for 9 months with not a lot of access to RU-vid. I was in my first primary care doctor visit and she mentioned you! I was so surprised and excited your reach is reaching more people!
I'm sorry but cross dressers and trans are COMPLETELY different. reading these comments feel weird i mean just because you get off to wearing womens clothes doesnt mean youre transgender. im all for doing whatever you want to do in private but in my opinion that just isnt normal to me and as someone who has been affected by oversexualization of ordinary trans experiences by the adults in the gay community i think theres a fine line between cross dressing fetishism and actual trans people. wearing womens clothing is NOT inheritly sexual and if you view it as such you probably AREN'T trans
I really needed to hear this. Coming out to my wife and transitioning was one of the most difficult things to experience for me. I felt I was left with two choices, one where I would maintain all of my existing relationships and life while 'sacrificing' my own health. Or, be open and embrace myself and lose those existing relationships, and recreate my life. I chose the latter, and it's been the best choice I ever made. But, given i have a young daughter it feels like my choosing my own health came with a significant cost. It feels like a sacrifice regardless.
This is where I seem to be struggling. I'm in a household where no one knows I'm dealing with gender issues, I can't really talk about it or say what's going on with me without the fear of retaliation and while my friends love and support me, they're all cis and don't really understand the experiences I'm going through. My mindset is usually pretty poor, very anxiety or depression driven and while I'm trying to find outlets (I started journaling my thoughts a few months ago) I'm still alone in all this and unsure of where to and how to reach out for help or support. It's rough, I am always amazed at how much stronger other trans ppl are and how much I wish I could be too lol
