Oink Oink.. I been reading few of the Pages the Book you gave Me.. Pulling out the Piece of Paper.. I am trying to write the Summary of what the Book is telling me.. of course if YOU are asking me do I enjoy reading this BOOK.. I would tell YOU.. the BOOK has just too many pages to read.. and I would flip through the pages because some of the things that is Telling me is truly boring to read.. it is Like.. why do I needs to know about this Information.. this Historical portion and I would be scratching my Head.. wants to yank my hairs Out because I would Yawn and tries to GO back to the Pages.. If I don't understand It.. I would re read it over and over so that I can tell YOU what I think of this Book.. when I take a Pause.. it is YOUR picture.. I would put your Picture next to the Book and I would take a LOOK at YOU.. I would smile and ask.. why is My Heart be burning.. It keeps ON burning whenever I look at YOU.. I feel like this Burning deep inside seems like it never stops ON ME.. DO you think that this is what I call Love.. what do you think about this Heart of Mine when It keeps On burning inside of me.. it is when My eyes takes off the Pages of this BIG BOOK and I turn to LOOK at your Picture.. I rather LOOK at this Picture for Hours and even with the Hours goes By.. I don't think I would ever get tired of LOOKING at YOU just like when I write to YOU.. I never get tired of telling YOU.. Letting YOU know How much I still Love YOU.. I can tell YOU millions of times and I would say.. Let me see your ears please.. can I step a little closer to YOU.. if My Voice can be Loud.. I can lower my voice and even whisper.. Just to tell YOU.. that I miss YOU.. Have been missing YOU for a Long time.. but.. Just wanted to tell YOU.. I love YOU.. I can stand Out.. go Out side and even Yell looking at the MOON who is looking.. showing the Face.. My Face and turn to the MOON.. with YOUR NAME.. I can say it Out loud.. I love YOU.. I don't want the MOON think that I am telling It.. that is WHY.. or Not the angels be confused or the neighbors around.. But with YOUR NAME say it and say to YOU I LOVE YOU.. but WOULD you let me be Close.. would you let me come closer to YOU.. would YOU open your Heart and Open your ears to listen.. would you receive the Words I want to tell YOU.. can I tell it to YOUR HEART that I love YOU.. as I am sitting on the chair by the desk.. with the BIG BOOK in front of me.. the BOOK is opened Now with the pages on right and left.. with Letters written as I would try to read the page.. going from chapter to the Next.. looking at the Numbers as I am flipping through the pages of this BOOK.. I would read and Pause.. my eyes would turn to LOOK next to this BOOK is your Picture.. I can't hide your Picture away.. I need your Picture with Me so that It reminds me who I love.. that I be loving YOU for reals.. can I take a Look at your Picture Please.. and it is YOU who left this One picture inside.. I remember before I started to read the Pages of this BOOK.. I called your Number.. and I even told YOU that I have found a Picture of YOU.. of course I would hear a Long Pause on the other side before you would say something about It.. I know that YOU did Not put the Picture here for me.. but when I saw the Picture.. It just helps me with the Pains I am suffering right Now.. I know that We are suppose to meet about a Week for Now.. but It seems like it is taking for ever.. time is ticking so Slow even though I am so Busy trying to Finish this Whole book.. and NO.. I am Not a good reader either.. that is why I had to ask for a delay for two weeks.. as I would try to go back to the Pages.. to read the pages.. it is not that easy for me.. too many difficult words would come around.. I have to pull out the dictionary to find and to understand the meaning of this Word.. and trying to read the sentence to go back to understand what it is telling Me.. I been going through Hardship of looking at the second Book.. which is the dictionary.. I remember you told me.. after I am finished reading the Whole book.. YOU be asking me to write to YOU a Summary of the book.. I have been sitting here.. with this One Piece of Paper in front.. trying to write something.. I am tempted to write about something else instead.. I am trying to think about this Story of this BOOK.. but My mind.. my eyes would LOOK at the Picture instead.. I would look on the ground.. there are few papers that has been rolled into balls.. because I started to write to YOU a Letter from my Heart.. and instead of trying to share about this BOOK.. My Mind and Heart takes me somewhere what My Heart wants to tell YOU.. if you are asking me.. what did I write that I had to roll into balls instead.. Maybe I should write TWO instead.. One that is from me to YOU and the other from the story of this BOOK.. the Summary you wanted to see.. when I would look at the Balls rolled UP from the Pieces of paper.. I would write.. I been missing YOU.. I wish that I can go to the Library.. if I go to that Library.. will I see you there.. would you be at the table the last time I saw YOU at.. but I don't want to show UP like I am spying on YOU because I am Not.. I am showing UP because My Heart misses YOU and I want to see YOU more.. of course.. I decided Not to GO.. but Last Night.. I do remember.. My Heart.. I started to miss YOU.. looking at your Picture.. It would stop me from reading more Pages of this BOOK.. I had to put the BOOK down because I would be missing YOU.. and I was struggling.. and I knew last night.. that was the day I saw you like two weeks Back.. and I would grab the keys.. and I knew.. should I go to the Library.. I know that If I do go.. maybe there is a better chance I will see YOU there.. so I took the keys.. and I went into the car.. and I started the Car to drive But.. I knew.. I should Not.. I am going to be making the mistake of showing UP just too early.. I don't even have the paper of the summary for this BOOK and NO.. I did Not finish the BOOK yet.. so I had to pause and think before.. so I did Not drive the Car.. I came Out of the car and stood Out side.. and I would LOOK UP at the sky.. LOOKING Above me is the MOON.. as I am looking at the MOON.. I would Open my Heart and Open my Mouth LOOKING at the Moon.. I would say.. what am I doing.. I know that I made a Promise to YOU.. and YOU gave me two weeks.. even though YOU wanted to Meet sooner.. I know that if I showed UP.. and I am Not ready to show you the presentation.. and If you were to ask me about the BOOK.. and If you say.. did I finish the BOOK.. and I am sure you would say.. why ask for two weeks if I am able to share Now and makes me a Liar.. I don't want YOU to see me as that Kind of a Person when ALL I wanted to say is that I missed YOU.. I been missing YOU for a while Now.. and why can't I just show UP just to tell YOU that I miss YOU.. but.. would Your Heart be opened to receive.. will your Ears be opened to hear the Words I need to say.. But I know that My Heart truly needs to tell YOU.. that I really Love YOU.. YOU may Not believe me.. or the Words Yet.. YOU may think that I am Not being serious about the situation or about My Heart to YOU.. but.. YOU do not have to believe anything Yet.. because I know that In time everything can change that.. there will be a TIME when YOU WILL Finally understand and able to receive when the TIME is right.. that is why I am Not asking it for today.. I am Not asking it for Now.. but I believe.. there will be a TIME you will know the truth.. that the TRUTH will do Its work and will set it Free.. Set me free because I am Not lying.. just sharing just the way it is and has been in my Heart.. that I love YOU.. what More words can I say to YOU that I been loving YOU.. and I would Be looking UP at the MOON.. just pouring from My Heart and speaking.. of course YOU are Not there to listen is the Problem.. that YOU are not there to hear these words of Mine.. that YOU just don't know yet how much I love YOU.. and as I would be sitting on this Chair by the desk in my room.. I am just looking back.. thinking back of what has taken its place.. and I am looking at the Picture.. Your Picture that is Next to this Big Book.. I wish that YOU could see me like this.. only if YOU are able to see me Now.. how can I get YOU to know that I been thinking of YOU.. that I am doing my Part.. that I am reading through these pages.. which It was not my choice.. if I go back where I saw YOU at the Library.. I would of chosen a Different Book.. and something much more Smaller with Pages.. and I would show YOU.. can I read this One instead.. and I can write YOU the Summary on piece of paper and tell you about the story I read of this book.. but.. it was Out of Nowhere.. sitting on the table.. across from YOU.. with a Smile.. YOU would push this BIG BOOK.. I wanted to be your Friend.. a reading club.. and it took me by a surprise when this BIG BOOK came to my direction and Of course I smiled.. but In my Heart.. I would say.. such a Big Book.. has too many pages.. and me to finish reading all of these pages.. But I know that sometimes.. to get close to YOU.. there needs to be a time where I needs to adjust and do what Makes YOU happy the Most.. so I knew that this be a daring statement on my Part.. I just wanted to be Close.. be a part in your Life.. and to get closer to YOU.. sometimes I needs to do things I may Not like but what Makes YOU the Happiest.. Of course when YOU LOOK at me now.. I have finished half of the Pages.. about 400 pages I read so far.. it was not with a SMILE though.. and trying to write the Summary on this Piece of paper would be another challenge for Me.. But.. I know I must do It.. for YOU.. for the friendship comes with a high cost.. and just to get close to YOU.. when Your Picture is next to the Book.. it is the Picture first
MAH MAH.. I am looking at the rain falling down the Sky.. looking across.. I see the Door where I sleep.. it is opened.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is inside that ROOM.. I needs to go and get it.. My Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. Your Picture.. the Art Sketch Paper.. when I was Young.. the paper that YOU gave to Me.. I had to get the permission from the Artist Boy who drew that Picture of YOU.. I remember he told Me.. if He gets Caught drawing the Picture.. If a Guard catches or Any Officials who works for Your Father the King.. PEH HA.. he can be Put to death.. but He went and drew that Picture for me.. I saw Him get caught.. He was dragged into the Prison.. I could Not believe what has happened to that BOY.. who died for drawing the Picture of YOU.. I remember the Night I went to visit Him. My Father was able to get Me into the Palace.. being the Head servant who was serving YOU.. I went with my Father.. I saw Him siting alone.. and it just broke my Heart.. He told me.. it is because it is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. it is because YOU are MAH MAH.. the HAWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. any ways He was poor.. living as a Homeless street.. as I hold his hands to thank HIM.. he looked at me and told me.. I have A Dream.. as Long as I have that Dream to conqueror.. to be by YOUR SIDE.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. who I loved and to serve.. and to Protect.. and told me.. GO ALL IN.. even if it gets me Here like this Young Boy.. it be worth Dying for as long as I can try my Best to get there.. and I cried Loud as He told Me.. Chase my Dreams and Let it come true.. Believe In It.. and something BIG.. GRAND can happen in the end.. I saw the Guards with the Keys.. Unlocks.. AND It was His time to GO.. I screamed Let HIM LIVE.. He did Not do any wrong.. what is Wrong to and the Guard struck me.. I fell and saw that Boy being carried away.. I get UP.. and I ran.. ran after the Guards WHO was taking HIM away.. my Father ran after ME.. grabbed me and told Me.. I will see him again.. and I stood there crying.. as the Boy disappeared into the Night.. and It was raining.. I saw the RAIN falling and I would Cry Out in Loud Voice wailing.. Crown Princess.. WHY is Life Not so fair for the POOR people.. small people like Us.. it is no Fair and I am wiping my tears with my Arms.. and as I am sitting down.. I am crying Looking at the open Door to the Small room.. that Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU is a gift.. the Price has been paid.. some one had to die just to draw that Picture of YOU for Me and It died.. and the Older Man.. the Master.. he has the stick.. holding it UP.. and there is the stick on the ground next to me.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Cost of Losing a One's Life.. and it is YOU.. My Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH and I grab the stick with my Hand and PULL myself UP.. and my eyes looking at the Older MAN.. and he yells Out Loud and swings the Stick at me and I would go back.. the waters makes me slide back and I would yell in rage and I jump UP with the stick In my hand and I swing the stick and it hits the Old Man's stick. and I jump Up again and swing right left left right and I land on the ground and did a back Kick and Hit the Master on the middle.. and I jump Up again swinging the stick in my hand with full of Rage.. I want that Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and swinging the stick in my hand left right right left and It knocks the Stick Off his Hand.. and I do a round house kick to knock him on the Ground.. the Older Man.. He is laying on the ground.. as the rain Keeps on falling down.. and I stand holding the stick in my hand.. I am crying.. Just Missing YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. but Look at me.. I am here stuck Out here.. ALL I want to do is just to see you for ONCE.. But the situation is Not helping me to go anywhere at this Point.. WHAT DO I do Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. the Older man.. the Master gets UP slowly.. and he stands looking at me.. and I see he leaving out of sight.. as I would LOOK at the Open Door to the ROOM.. the Small room where I rest.. and I go inside.. and I am looking.. the Art Sketch Paper.. and drawing Picture of YOU.. this Means everything to me.. I remember putting this Art Sketch Paper.. drawing Picture of YOU.. Putting in back of Me.. walking In the Snow.. all alone.. Not knowing where I was going to go but I even had to leave the Garden.. I told myself.. that I am going to go where YOU are.. Crown Princes.. as I would grab hold onto the Paper.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I told YOU through Looking at this Picture.. Someday I will get Close.. even though I may be far right Now.. I know that One day I will see YOU.. I will be close so that YOU know how much I love YOU.. and the Sword.. by the time I see YOU.. I am going to be holding a Sword in my hand.. and the Sword I hold.. it is going to Protect YOU.. my Sword that I have with me will always protect and also defend for YOU.. I will be a man of my words who will do whatever it takes just to be close.. even though I may not able to say the Words I love YOU.. I know that the day will come where YOU will give me the Permission to say it.. as the Next Day Arrives.. the Older man.. the Master.. He put a DUMMY made of WOOD.. Carved it and gave me the WOODEN SWORD STICK to practice.. every Night.. I would walk Out side.. He would should Me the PIN POINTERS where to Hit the Hot Spot to destroy my enemies.. I would stand Alone.. and Most nights the MOON came UP from the Sky.. the Older man.. the Master would behind.. leaving a distance.. as I would hit the DUMMY WOOD with the WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I would be looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would hold to close to my Chest.. and I would kiss the forehead of the WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH.. MY CROWN PRINCESS.. and I would walk outside into the Night.. LOOKING at the MOON.. I would say.. I will see YOU SOON.. it may seems like a long time Now.. the Older MAN.. the Master tells me.. it be a lot sooner because I am thinking of YOU.. that I have a Dream to Love YOU.. but to Protect.. and to defend YOU for a cause for this Nation you are building.. that I know I needs to be there to see YOU as My True QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. I want to see YOU as you take your place of Your Father's Spot.. to RULE this NATION as the CONQUEROR.. I want to be there to see with my own eyes before I die.. I can't not delay.. because I want to see YOU soon.. and I would be thinking of YOU.. thinking of protecting YOU and also defending Your Nation I would hit and hit.. the Wooden Sword Stick would break.. because I would hit it very Hard.. the Older man.. the Master would carve another WOODEN SWORD STICK for me.. He is just sitting there being busy Carving all day Long.. I do remember like My Father.. who was watching me.. I would be holding the Bow.. strings I would Pull back.. many times I would pull the strings back and forth.. I would use the Arrow.. the back of the end of the arrows.. I would aim and I would release the strings of the Bow.. it would break.. He would be very busy pulling the Strings into the Bow.. watching me Shoot the Arrows.. many flies to different sides.. I kept On practice shooting.. even my hands be hurting.. Just like Holding this WOODEN STICK SWORD.. I hit many times on the Wooden DUMMY.. But I never gave UP on the Dreams of Loving YOU.. I just can't call it the Quits.. I have come so Far and I am getting closer to YOU.. as the OLDER MAN.. the Master looks at me.. He tells me.. it is time for me to GO to see the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I would stand there as he gives me the Letter.. stamping with the seal for His NAME that I am His student.. I would stand IN the ROOM.. as I am looking at the Letter with the STAMP SEALED.. I would sit.. LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I sat alone.. crying.. It means that I get to finally see YOU.. I have made the promise.. DO you remember.. and I am LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. WHEN we were Young.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU came to the Garden.. and I was at the Top of the Hill.. By the tree.. visiting My Mother's grave.. I was with my Father and he wanted too tell me a story.. and I heard the Messenger as he was going Up on the Hill.. and it stopped my Father and we turned to look back.. the Messenger says the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABIN MAH MAH is coming UP.. and Me and My Father.. Both on the Knees Looking on the ground.. YOU came to us.. and it broke my Heart when YOU told me.. it is going to be hard for you to come to this Garden.. and before YOU are going to come the One last Time.. a Prince is going to show UP for the Last time.. and I knew what that meant.. I remember that Day Came.. YOU showed UP with the Prince who wanted to Marry YOU.. My Heart was breaking into Pieces when He came with YOU.. but I made a Promise to YOU.. and that promise is that I will still love YOU.. and that I will go to serve.. and to protect and defend YOU.. even if it means that I can't Love YOU.. but I asked YOU.. can I still Love YOU.. WOULD YOU let me still Love YOU.. but I do remember YOU looked the other way.. WHEN I saw you with the Prince at the Hill top by the Tree.. I did Not want any one there which it was my Mother's Grave.. I just could Not believe it had to happen.. when I think of it Now.. I have never given UP on that Promise.. as I was in the Small ROOM.. holding the Letter with the Stamp sealed of the Older Man.. the Master.. and On the Other Hand
MAH MAH.. Into the training camp.. ALL goes on the two Knees.. Arms moves forward.. and Lowers the Heads together and I see YOU stop.. MY Heart starts to beat Faster.. as my Heart keeps On running.. ALL these men.. New and Older.. the Military and Generals.. Commanders and Chief Generals.. ALL down on two Knees.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. the Young Boy who drew this Picture of YOU.. as I am looking at it.. My eyes.. watery and fills with Tears and I can feel my tears running Down as I am looking at this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. as YOU pull out the Sword and YOU point at Me.. and I lift UP my Head looking UP at YOU.. My Heart breaks because I do remember this One Young Fellow.. He told me that as Long as I keep dreaming.. and Dreaming of Just Loving YOU.. and to follow my Dreams and my Heart towards YOU.. that One day.. something Big.. something Grand will Happen.. I did Not know what that Meant.. But Now I know what it is Like because I am here today still Loving YOU.. I had no idea why was that young boy saying this to me.. that is before he died.. I saw the Boy's body on the back of a wagon being carried.. on the streets.. a HAY was covered over.. I ran to look at the wagon being pulled by the Horse.. when I stopped.. uncover the STRAY HAY covering.. it was the Same young Boy who gave me this Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I would with both hands show YOU.. HWANGTAEJABIN MAH MAH.. and I see you walking closer and YOU stopped.. and YOU looked at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is this Picture I kept all of this Time and Just could Not let It go.. But Know I believe I can because my Dreams of Loving YOU and coming this Close.. It has been kept alive.. I want YOU to do the Honor to Burn this For Me.. because Now.. I realize I don't need this One Picture because I see YOU Now.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I am close to YOU NOW.. I love YOU MORE NOW.. so I don't need to go back because I am Now living in the Present.. going forward with YOU to future HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. ALL I want to say to YOU.. I still Love YOU.. I never have given UP that Hope and dreams of Loving YOU.. I hope that NOW you can see my true Heart.. the real Heart of Mine who never stopped Loving you this Far.. all I wanted to say to YOU CROWN PRINCESS.. I love YOU..I am looking Across.. Standing by the Gates.. with the three Friends.. as the Back of the Palace Guards.. I am looking at YOU.. and so many people has gathered.. ALL of the TOP Generals.. the Commanders.. the Head servant.. maids.. even the Highest Kitchen Lady.. and ALL of the Special Body Guards.. the servants and I can hear a Great Celebration.. on the Outer Court.. I am watching YOU.. looking through the gate Bars.. I am wondering.. what is going to Happen after this.. WILL I able to still love YOU.. Look at the place I am standing.. and my three friends who are standing next to me sees Me.. I am sad.. My Heart is broken because NOW.. it is so Hard to Love YOU.. of Course I should be the One who should be the Most happiest to support YOU.. I know that it was ME who told YOU to leave.. to GO.. to go back to the Palace because It is the King.. PEH HA is calling.. He wanted to show YOU and give YOU something.. I was so Happy to hear this News.. that something Great was going to Happen.. and I am now Sad.. NOT sad in a Bad way.. I am just so sad because of this Distance.. I want to come Close.. I want to be near YOU.. able to hold Your Hands.. able to be close and to tell YOU at least I miss YOU.. or say I love YOU.. YOU don't have to accept the Words but.. If I were able to get closer to YOU.. at least YOU are able to feel the energy.. able to see me Smile.. but.. NOW.. I feel like only looking at the MOON can be more closer than for me to LOOK at YOU.. I am looking through the Bar Gate.. as I am watching the People.. the Most important People.. even the Prime Minister has come.. also the Queen.. the People all lowers and falls to the Floor.. QUEEN.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. people all shouts on the floor.. lowering as she walks.. YOUR Mother has come and Me with the three friends all hit the Floor.. even though she can't see us.. knowing that the QUEEN has COME.. there is a Throne Seat.. in the Middle.. but a stage which YOU are on.. and Now the Messenger Shouts Out.. PEH HA!! the King is Coming.. the KING has come.. PEH HA! and all the people shouts Loud.. PEH HA! and me with the three friends shouts together PEH HA! and the King says for the attendants.. all rise UP and every one stands UP on the two feet.. so me and the three Friends all get UP.. the King is on the Outer Court.. and there is stairs.. He looks at YOU.. HE is with tears in his Eyes looking at YOU.. and there is a Big Crown.. and as the King steps UP He tells YOU to sit on the Throne.. and I look.. It can't be.. and He places a Crown ON the TOP of Your Head.. and He looks at YOU.. kisses Your Hand and says.. Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. SOON to Lead.. SOON to take over the Place.. and everyone Falls ON to the Floor.. lowers all.. and Says CROWN PRINCESS.. I am On the Floor.. with the three Friends.. HWANGTAEJABI.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. and every one shouts.. YOU sit there very shock.. but We all knew that IN time YOU will become the TOP RULER for the Nation.. People cheers and shouts Out.. WANGSEJABI.. CROWN PRINCESS.. we honor YOU.. the Commanders comes and they take a Bow to YOU.. kneeling and lower the Heads.. to the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. the Crown Princess.. and Each Man comes to kiss your hand.. few Commanders.. the TOP 1st Chief Generals line UP.. to the 2nd In command of Chief Generals.. to the 3rd in command of Chief Generals.. and the Lower top generals and I am watching.. this is the Most biggest celebration.. very close of becoming the Ruler.. and I am falling looking on the floor.. What am I suppose to DO.. One side of my Heart.. I am truly joyful.. and I am so Happy for YOU.. I knew in time YOU would become the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I would feel so happy that Now you are going to be taking over.. even though there is NO crown Prince.. but YOUR FATHER.. PEH HA made that calling.. Knowing that YOU are ready.. I am looking at the King and the Queen.. both lower themselves before YOU.. I am in shock.. It is PEH HA and HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and they made this Happen.. Now.. On the Other side.. I am watching all of these Most important people who works for the King.. they are all going over kissing Your hand.. I see a long Line and I would be on this Position till the Sun Goes Down.. and I see YOU still sitting on that Throne with the Crown TOP of your Head.. as I am hearing foot steps.. and it stops by the gate door bar.. I know someone is coming.. Is it my turn to kiss Your Hand.. If I kiss your hand.. I know that I can't love YOU any more.. what about me.. What about my Heart.. WILL you still let me Love YOU even after I kiss YOUR HAND.. I want to know.. will you let me still come close.. because I told YOU that I did not want to Come.. I knew that THIS would happen.. I told you before.. when We were back at the garden.. up on the Hill side by the tree.. I told YOU to let me stay Alone.. that I did Not want to go with YOU.. that I told my friends to take YOU instead.. because I knew that this is going to happen to Me.. WHY are you making my Heart to Bleed.. WHY don't you just give me a sharp blade knife and cut UP my stomach instead.. it be better if I just die like this.. I told YOU that YOU SHOULD go alone.. and I know that YOU wanted me to see YOU and to join in the celebration.. Yes.. it is the Best day I see.. it is the greatest day I am feeling at One side.. that Now.. YOU are the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH.. but the next thing I want to know.. what am I suppose to do with my Heart.. I have been loving you for so Long.. I mean it has been such a very long time.. and I began to think.. if it is all about MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI.. the Crown Princess.. YOU becoming the Next Ruler.. I told you that I did not want to come because the Distance is going to push me far away from YOU.. that is why leaving me behind would been a great idea because my eyes seeing YOU Close is good but bad when I can't ever come close to YOU.. DO YOU KNOW how much I love YOU.. DO you know that I love you so much that I did decide to join.. decided to see this Celebration.. NOW My heart is breaking inside because I know there will be Distance between US.. but able to see YOU close.. but loving YOU far hurts me far more than FOR me being at the Garden.. on the TOP of the HILL side by the tree been better because at least I don't have to see YOU.. it is the same feeling because of the distance.. it kills me more that I can't love YOU.. it kills me even more that I want to love YOU.. but How.. HOW can I love YOU when YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. Please tell me How.. I hear the Bar Gates Opening.. and the Messenger is standing there.. telling me to get UP.. and the four of Us all get up.. the Crown Princess is calling is what the Messenger is telling.. the three of the friends started to walk forward.. But I stop.. I am not going to walk over.. I can't kiss YOUR HAND if I can't love YOU.. I rather NOT go and just turn the Other way.. the Messenger stops and turns to look at me.. the Crown Princess is waiting.. HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH is waiting for YOU.. but I would not make any move.. I can't go.. I don't want to walk over and kiss Your hand
MAH MAH.. Me.. How about my Love.. How about me Loving YOU.. If I can't love YOU now.. I can't love you later.. because it will turn Out to be Never.. that is why I choose to be still here.. How about Me.. tell Me.. give me the answer first.. I rather turn the Other way.. I will go back to the Garden where I belong in the first place.. where I should stayed in the first place.. If this was going to happen.. I do not know why I came all the way down here to cause trouble.. I don't mean to cause any kind of trouble.. because MY true intention is also celebrate.. but IF it ends this Way.. and YOU are forcing me to Kiss Your Hand so that I can't love you any more.. I am telling YOU now I will not.. I will Not kiss YOUR HAND.. so Please.. Let me GO back to the place where I belong.. Maybe I don't belong here any more because NOW.. I have reached a Point.. I can die.. If I can't love YOU.. Please let me go to see my Family.. I can meet them on the Other side.. since I know now I can't love YOU.. and My tears begins to roll down.. YOU know that I am badly hurt right Now.. YOU know that It hurts if I can't love YOU.. it hurts even missing YOU but to stand here for the rest of My life.. just to look at YOU but can't never love YOU.. I can't.. WHY did you even bring me to this Place if YOU knew it was going to end UP like this.. If you would of told me if YOU Knew this was to happen.. I would of chosen to Be at the Garden.. be close to the Buried family members.. I am not trying to start anything.. Not a war.. Not trying to bring any kind of Trouble.. but just telling YOU.. letting YOU know that I should of never come.. YES.. I do love that YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI.. MAH MAH.. I am truly happy for YOU.. that YOU are going to be ruling soon.. I already told YOU it was going to happen., of course never thought this SOON though.. BUT it has happened.. If I walk over.. and YOU give me YOUR HAND.. and I kiss that Hand.. that means I can't ever love YOU.. I will not kiss YOUR hand if I just can't.. I rather turn My Head and look up to the Sky and LOOK at the MOON and just talk to that Moon thinking about YOU.. I have been asking the MOON like he be a friend and sharing.. How much I love YOU and how much I been praying to meet YOU and always wishing that I can meet YOU SOON.. that part it has come true.. but I started to fall for YOU.. maybe because It Hurts so Much I started to love YOU.. maybe it was because missing YOU TOO MUCH I started to Love YOU.. but just thinking about YOU.. it made My Heart to Fall in Love with YOU.. because YOU are the CROWN PRINCESS.. knowing that this was going to happen.. because of THIS.. because YOU are HWANGTAEJABI.. MAH MAH.. knowing YOU are the Best.. the greatest is why I loved YOU.. ever since I was a young Boy.. I knew that YOU were going to be someone very special.. and NOW I see.. my eyes are seeing.. that because YOU are.. that is why I rather just love YOU and Not kiss YOUR HAND..I walk out the room.. Pulling out the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I just can't stop.. I been thinking of YOU a lot lately.. and I needs to go see YOU.. but How.. and as I am standing out.. I would turn to the Left.. I see the Horse.. and it belongs to the Older Man who teaches me.. maybe this time.. and I would look at the Art sketch paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. YOU know that YOU may Not see me.. but I will be at the Palace.. I will only be like a Shadow.. like the wind.. YOU can't see Me.. but YOU know that I am there.. knowing because I love YOU.. and I would Fold the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU in my Back.. and I would walk.. I stop by the Horse.. and I would get back on this Black Horse.. I would hit the Horse likely and the Horse starts to RUN.. as I am riding on the Back of the Horse.. feeling the Wind in my face as the Horse keeps On running down the Road.. all I can think of is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even though I may not be close.. even though you may Not see Me.. I know that as long as I can see YOU.. just seeing YOU from a Far is all I can ask for.. even though I may Not be able to say or tell YOU what My Heart truly feels or expresses to YOU.. as Long as my eyes sees that YOU are doing good.. that is ALL I am asking for.. the Horse keeps On running down the road.. all through the Day.. I see this Horse.. this Black Horse keeps on going.. it feels Like me.. Just cannot stop but keeps On going.. as I would watch the SUN Setting down.. when I look on the side.. I see the waters.. and the Horse would run slowly as it stops.. I give this Horse.. the Black Horse some rest.. I get Off the Horse.. Now.. as I would walk close to the waters.. there are group of guys by the waters.. and I would turn to look at One of the guys.. and I would stand still.. as I would pull the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. and it is killing me inside that I can't be close to YOU.. Now.. one of the guys.. he comes closer and takes a LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and Looks at me.. and I tell Him.. Yes.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU are asking me.. I am a Low Born servant.. and I know I can't even Look at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. who am I to love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am Not suppose to ever put my eyes on YOU.. and the penalty for getting caught is Death.. even though I know that If I break this Law.. But.. if YOU take a LOOK at me.. I am already Dead.. so I have No more fear.. I have already broken this Law and just ready to Die any time SOON.. but what can I do.. if I love YOU.. is this My fault.. How is it my fault if My Heart is the One who is causing this Kind of trouble.. this Kind of problem in my life.. I am just going what My Heart truly Needs.. and the Guy looks at me.. He works at the Palace.. and He is the Palace Guard at the Door.. and I just could Not believe.. he came just for a break with Other friends who works at the Palace.. they are all guards at the door.. and I just could Not believe.. He is going to help me to take to where YOU are.. tells me Not to tell any one because.. My Heart.. WHICH only Loves YOU.. as I would watch the waters on this Night.. I just could Not sleep.. but.. for the Longest time.. it has been so long since I saw YOU.. it is a Picture of YOU when YOU are YOUNG.. Now.. the Guy who came with his friends.. one of them had an Art Sketch Picture.. but it is the recent Picture some one drew.. and the guy's friend showed me.. as I took into my hands.. YOU just blew my Mind.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have become so Beautiful.. when did YOU grew UP looking so Beautiful Like this.. and as I am looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the recent drawing of YOU.. My eyes could Not Help.. but my tears.. it just could NOT let it sit and I felt.. my tears just ran down as I am looking at the recent Picture.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. and I am wondering.. the Guy looks at me.. even his friend Loves YOU too.. I am thinking.. I know there must be More but.. it does Not matter with me.. as the Sun starts to rise.. the Guy.. he came with three friends and Got into the Horse.. and gave me this New.. the recent Picture of YOU.. and I would walk down away from the waters.. and I get ON the Back of the Black Horse.. the four of the guys starts to ride the Horses.. as I get on the Black Horse.. I would ride this Horse following the Four Horses.. and Now.. I never knew that I am able to get this Close.. I just can't believe it.. My dreams are coming true.. How could this Be.. as the Horses would run down and the towns.. the villages are passing By.. and the two Guards by the Fortress Gates.. the Four Guards show the badges and they are able to get me Inside.. the Gates Open wide.. and the Four guards riding on the Horses.. and I am behind the Four Palace Guards following in the Black Horse.. as the Horses keeps On going and running down this road.. the path.. and it leads to the palace gates.. two Guards.. Opens the front gates.. as the FOUR PALACE GUARDS shows and lets me in with them.. and Into the back gates they go.. as the Horses all slow down.. the Guy who I first talked too.. He gets out of the Horse and He points at the Chamber on TOP.. that is where YOU are.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Other Guard tells me that YOU are not there.. that the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. is at the training ground.. and HE is the One who leads.. as I get off the Black Horse.. walking across on the Other side.. and there is the Fence.. as I walk with the Other Guard.. I would stop.. from the back.. I pull out the Recent.. Art sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. as grown.. I just can't believe you have grown this Much.. so much Prettier and never imagined YOU be this Beautiful in my life.. Now the Other Guard stops and looks back.. I just can't believe.. I am going to see the Crown Princess.. do YOU not see this.. LOOK.. I am at the palace.. and going to get to see closer LOOK at the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is Like a Dream come true.. I was truly worried about.. How am I going to see YOU.. I know that I have No business at the Palace. NO guards are going to let me In but.. it is a true Miracle that I am here.. and get to meet.. the Other Guard looks and smiles.. and He turns to lead the way.. as I am following HIM.. in my hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the RECENT drawing picture of YOU.. and I see the other Guard.. He stands by the fence.. and He stops.. and I am walking.. my Heart.. It is beating so Fast.. why do I feel so excited.. why is My Heart beating.. is it beating or dancing from the Inside.. and I stop
MAH MAH.. Coming.. walking over to the Fence.. and I just can't look at YOU.. why can't I breathe.. why is it so Hard for me to breath and YOU stop by the fence.. and the Other Guard would answer YOU.. and YOU turn to LOOK at me asking me.. and I would lift UP my Head.. and I would LOOK at Your eyes.. DO YOU not remember Me.. right Now I am at the Older man's House.. he is my master my teacher at this Point.. but.. YOU don't remember Me.. and I see YOU looking and with Question.. it is me.. at the Garden.. when YOU came Long ago.. when we were younger.. and my Father who was the Head over the servants.. who served the King but was servant to the CROWN PRINCESS.. which is YOU.. and my Hand went back to Pull out the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I lifted it UP before Your eyes and I see your hands grab hold unto.. DO YOU not remember this Picture.. this Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. when we were little.. before YOU left.. I asked a Boy.. and HE had to get your Permission.. and YOU allowed that BOY to draw YOU and the Boy would give me this Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. the boy say.. I am good to have this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. this drawing picture of YOU.. by the tree.. before YOU told me that YOU could never come back to the Garden.. that WHEN I grew to be older.. for YOU to know.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU told me to bring this to YOU so that YOU will remember who I am.. and it was YOU who allowed me to have this.. to keep this.. that one day when I come to this palace.. when I bring this to show YOU who I am.. YOU will know that it was ME.. the lowly born servant at the garden who never stopped Loving YOU.. I came all the way just to tell YOU that I have grown.. and YES.. that I am going to enter the king's service and to Be a Palace Guard.. so that I can come close to YOU.. to protect YOU and to defend this nation.. I told you this when I was little.. when I was young.. I told YOU.. before YOU left for good.. I told YOU I promise I will come.. and as I am LOOKING UP at YOU from kneeling on two Knees.. YOU looked at me.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. and I see your smile.. so YOU do Remember everything right.. it is that Boy at the garden.. who wanted to give YOU a flower.. Now.. it is Not just a flower.. but I will show YOU a SWORD to protect YOU and this Nation.. and will FIGHT on your Behalf.. the Other guard looks at me.. and As I am looking at the New Recruits.. I would look back.. and I see the Seven Friends who are behind me.. there are two who has been there for me all this time.. the Other Guard who lead me to YOU.. and the First Guard who talk to me at the waters.. Who has been helping me to get closer to YOU.. and as I would LOOK by the Fence.. I see YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. as I am holding the stick in the Hand.. telling me that I should train these new Men.. the YOUNG MEN who are the recruits.. and as I would pull back.. I would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is when YOU were Little.. the Boy WHO gave it to ME.. who told me that I have the Permission from YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. LOOKING at the Tree.. by the Garden.. I am always thinking about the Garden because it was the first TIME.. when I saw YOU coming.. riding on the Horse.. YOU wanted to see How the Garden feels.. it was when I saw YOU there.. when I started to LOVE you at the Garden.. as I am looking at one of the new Recruit.. He looks at me and swings the WOODEN SWORD at me.. and He misses as I go back.. with the WOODEN SWORD stick I am holding.. I would swing Forward and It hits the new recruit and He falls to the Floor.. to the ground..I am looking at YOU.. as YOU are coming closer.. I see you walking and YOU stop.. as I tell YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. Please do not come closer to Me.. I don't want to kiss YOUR hand.. I just can't.. because YOU know my Heart.. Please.. tell me rather to Leave the Palace.. stripe away my title.. and My Position.. I rather Live as a Slave Instead.. I don't deserve to Kiss Your Hand because I know My Heart.. I know How much I love YOU.. that is why I won't.. Please stop there and DO not come closer.. I rather walk away from the Outer Court.. and I would Hear.. the Queen is coming.. HWANG WOO MAH MAH.. and I see you turn the Other way.. the Queen in tears.. coming to Kiss Your Hand.. and I see her lips kiss.. putting YOU in charge of everything.. I would walk the ten Council of Noble Men walking and they all stop behind the Prime Minister of the Nation.. and I see the King.. who is on the Floor.. He is crying.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS of this Nation.. HWANG WOO.. QUEEN.. come to me.. and I see the Queen turn around and she walks to her Husband as She also falls on the Floor.. with tears.. and I am standing there.. each Council of Noble MAN.. walking forward.. each Man comes to Kiss Your Hand.. and I am standing there.. My Heart is truly Touched.. truly Moved.. and I am standing thinking.. WHY can't I kiss Your Hand.. is it because it is My Pride.. WHO am I to tell YOU this.. WHO am I as the Lowly servant.. I am only the Palace Guard.. How can I reject Your Hand.. but It is because I love YOU.. I know that I must kiss but I know if I do.. I become Your Subject.. as I would watch each person kissing Your Hand and they Bow and lower to the Knees.. and LOOKING at the Big Crown on top of Your Head.. now the three of my friends goes over.. and Each of them decides to Kiss Your hand.. I am now standing alone.. if I don't kiss YOUR hand.. I know that I must leave this Palace.. this Outer Courts.. so I would turn to face the Gates.. I know that I must leave.. I just can't stand here any longer.. I just can't kiss Your hand and just become NO ONE to YOU.. and as I behind to walk down by myself.. the Special Body Guard runs.. and He stops me.. putting the Sword in front.. and I turn around and I still see YOU.. YOU just standing there.. with the White Dress.. SO beautiful.. WHY are you stopping Me.. I told you already that YOU are going to be a Great Ruler for the Nation.. Everyone gets on their Knees before YOU.. the Prime Minister.. the Commanders.. Chief Generals.. Generals.. the foot soldiers.. the Ten Council of Noble men.. all the Maid and servant.. EUNCH.. the Highest Kitchen Lady.. the Doctors of the Palace.. all falls before YOU.. shouting Out.. Crown Princess.. MANSAE.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY and Tears are all falling.. saying the Next RULER coming UP and I would look at YOU.. my tears are flowing DOWN.. I am so Sad because HOW can I love YOU now.. LOOK at me.. I can't even do anything.. How can I love YOU now.. YOU are Now the CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the CROWN PRINCESS of this Nation.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and I would fall on both knees and start too weep in Pain.. I am aching because LOOK at me.. WHO AM I to love a CROWN PRINCESS like YOU.. and I am looking at the Ground.. wailing and Weeping loud.. I know that I am wrong.. I know that I should of never started but NOW to turn back.. it is just too late to turn.. I have come long ways of loving YOU.. and I am looking UP at the MOON.. WHY.. WHY did I even come.. if I could of stayed behind.. then It would not hurt me this Much because the Loving YOU always hurt but Now.. it hurts more.. I don't want to lose YOU.. because I know that I love YOU.. as I am would stand UP.. and I look toward the Gate.. and I started to walk.. passing the Gates.. I know that I can't come back.. I will remain as a Slave.. and I started to walk.. but.. this Special Body Guard keeps on following Me.. and Puts his sword to STOP me to go.. and I would turn.. I see YOU walking.. and coming closer as I am stopped by the Gates.. I am wondering.. YOU have everything here.. WHY are you doing this to me.. the more you do this.. the More I will be hurting in inside.. YOU know that I am little.. with such no Power.. I have no strength but YOU have all the strong People around YOU.. who also decided to choose YOU to be the CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have all the troops.. even the people all.. I would see the People.. common people.. they all fallen on the Floor.. and People.. the common people.. when they see YOU.. they would shout OUT with the loud VOICE.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. MANSAE.. HOORAY.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and People are on the Floor.. on the knees looking at the ground.. and I am standing here.. SO touched.. winning the Hearts of many people.. in the Palace and Out with the Common people.. YOU have won as the Next and I know that YOU WILL DO great.. that is why Now.. YOU have no need for me to be here.. because YOU have taken the seat to RULE.. and I told YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I will not kiss Your hand.. if YOU are asking me to come.. and be your subject.. and wants me to kiss YOUR HAND.. that is why I rather leave.. I would live in the deep of the forest and into the mountains.. I will not be known to YOU anymore.. and I see YOU coming very closer.. and your hand touch my shoulder Blade.. and I hear the word Stay.. and I turn around to face YOU.. HOW can I stay with YOU if YOU want me to kiss that Hand.. I told you I just can't.. if YOU want me to be Your Subject.. I want to live a different life.. I can't spend the rest of my Life just standing here.. Unable to say.. unable to tell YOU How much I love YOU.. I am Not going to live the rest of my life.. just wishing because I just can't.. why
I am looking for something.. I look at the Glass Jar.. I have set in on the floor.. I been asking YOU that I need your Heart.. as I would wait.. there is no answer on the other side.. so I know that I must keep waiting.. as I am holding the Glass jar.. which it changes to a new place.. I was in the room.. but I decided to walk Out.. and I been looking back.. thinking back when I was at my Room.. sitting on the floor.. looking through the Glass jar.. which was empty.. Now I must walk off.. I am now sitting Out side.. sitting by the shore.. I just love the waters.. I would drive alone.. and come to this One spot.. where I am able to get Out of the Car.. and I am able to sit.. this One Lake.. and I would watch the waters.. so Peaceful and Nice out.. I would always bring a Bottle.. and with me is the Shot Glass next to the Bottle.. and I would sit still.. I would be looking at your Picture.. makes me think more of you when I am by the Lake.. of course I know that I am not going to find you near.. but.. knowing you are so Far.. I still feel like YOU are near.. as Long as I have your picture in my hand.. and I am able to tell YOU some how.. How I feel this very night.. I would be asking for Your Heart.. I even brought the Empty Glass jar.. I know that your Heart can't fit in this Empty Glass Jar.. I know YOU have a Big Heart.. But I still want Your Heart.. I would be sitting down.. looking at your Picture.. my Chest burns when my eyes looks at YOU.. holding your Picture in my Heart.. Can I please imagine that YOU are here.. Can YOU please tell me that I can close both of my eyes and say that YOU are here.. that YOU are near.. but when both of my eyes are opened.. I know that YOU are gone.. leaving this space between us.. this distance which makes me even miss YOU more.. when Can I see YOU.. when will you ever be close to me.. Do you know the times when we can see each Other.. but every time I close my eyes and I imagine.. I know that I feel you so close.. so Near to me.. that I want my arms to hold YOU.. Hold you close and tight.. and I want to tell your ears.. How much I missed YOU.. ever since the day One.. I have been missing you ever since.. Please.. tell me that YOU are near.. I would grab your Picture.. and I would keep on looking at YOU.. this Picture.. it burns my Chest.. Burns like I put my hand on the stove.. and I can feel the fire burning.. it hurts when My chest burns.. like I get too many chest pains.. I get a lot of chest pains when I look at your picture.. I wonder why.. I want to stop these pains I get.. my chest hurts.. and I can feel my Heart screaming from inside.. I can Hear my Heart hurting.. with Chest pains of asking me.. WHY does my Heart keep on hurting.. only if my eyes can stop looking at your picture.. I know it can stop all these attacks in my Heart causing my Chest to Burn.. I just want to drop my Heart.. maybe Toss my Heart into the lake where the Waters are near to cool my Heart down.. But.. I don't want to lose my Heart.. I need my Heart so that I can love YOU and tell YOU How much I love YOU when I have my Heart close to Me.. as I would be looking at the Bottle.. I open the top of the lid.. I know that I should stop drinking.. the more I drink by taking shots.. the More I miss YOU and wish that you are here.. I would be wondering.. when I can I see you.. when will it be the day where I don't have to miss YOU.. and stop these pains.. these aching of longing for your presence.. to Hold YOU.. Hold you in my arms and to look at Your Heart.. I am going to be looking for your Heart to tell YOUR Heart.. look what you have done to my Heart.. Keep on missing YOU.. I would place the shot Glass close.. and pour the bottle into the Shot Glass.. placing the Bottle on the ground.. as my hand grabs the Shot Glass.. I would open my mouth.. and take a Shot.. I wonder if this is going to cool my Chest down.. but It burns as it goes in.. I can feel the burning and this ache just won't go away.. my hand grabs your Picture and I would look at your Picture.. why do YOU have to be so far from me.. I know that I be missing YOU like crazy.. when I look at your Picture.. sitting by the lake.. looking at the waters.. Looking at the stars.. asking the Moon.. I want wings.. I need wings.. Please give me two wings.. so that I don't have to be suffering like this.. and taking shots.. and keep on missing YOU.. How do I get me two wings.. I know that be the fastest way for me to get to YOU.. so that I don't have to miss you.. whenever I miss YOU.. I know that the two wings can help me.. lift me Out of this Misery.. so even from the distance.. looking at you from distance and able to see YOU.. I think the missing YOU will go away.. but when YOU are sitting here out by yourself.. and knowing there is a space and distance and my eyes can't see YOU.. On this very Night.. I would start to think of YOU more and more.. I want to tell YOU.. I want to hold YOU.. I want to hear Your voice.. your laughter.. I want to see your expression when I am near YOU.. what would you do If I was near YOU.. and knowing how much I love YOU.. what would you do if I am able to get me two wings.. I am able to fly over and just to see YOU.. because of missing YOU.. would you let me stay by your side.. would you push me away.. or would you greet me with a smile.. because I don't want to show UP if you think that I am a creep.. if I would scare you when my intentions.. my motives is all about loving YOU and telling YOU how much I love YOU.. I only want to show up to tell YOU that.. Not asking for anything More.. would you open your Heart to receive.. accept how much I love YOU.. or are you going to tell me to get Lost and push me out of the way.. I want to be near so that I can tell YOU I can be gentle.. and be more tender.. and too tell Your Heart.. showing YOU the Picture.. the picture of YOU.. and holding the empty Glass Jar.. that I been waiting for Your Heart.. that I want Your Heart.. and this is the proof.. that there is nothing more in this world I want.. but I need your Heart.. all I need is your Heart and to show YOU the Empty Glass jar.. and the reason why I have brought it empty.. to show YOU,, I want what is inside of YOU.. that is Your Heart.. Nothing more.. and I would wait.. wait for Your answer.. and I will show YOU the two Wings.. this is the wings I have received when I was sitting by the shore.. I was at the Lake.. looking at the waters.. and I would show YOU the picture.. I know that this picture belongs to YOU.. but I had to keep it for myself.. ever since I have seen your Picture.. I just got lost by Your Beauty.. by your presences.. and I knew.. YOU are the only One for Me.. so Please.. take my word as being so true.. so real.. because it is My Heart.. coming from my Heart.. Now.. ever since I got this Picture.. I just could not keep away.. I wanted you close.. I wanted you near to myself.. I am so sorry if I have your Picture.. I am so sorry for looking at your picture and falling in love with Your Beauty.. YOU know that YOU are so Beautiful.. there is NO Other words I can say to YOU but to say.. YOU are the Most Beautiful.. when I look at YOU.. and I see you smile.. whenever I see your Smile.. I feel like a foot kicks my Heart.. very hard it kicks that I feel my Chest Burns.. and keeps on burning.. But I just can't keep it to myself.. I just can't help it but to share.. to tell YOU.. I need Your Heart.. so that I know for sure I can really Love YOU.. as I would pull out a Note.. with me is a Pen.. and I would start to write on this note.. LOOKING at Your Picture.. grabbing the BOTTLE and pouring into the Shot Glass.. placing the Bottle on the ground.. I pick UP the Shot Glass and I would take a SHOT at it.. placing the Shot Glass on the ground next to the Bottle.. I can feel it.. I can feel my Heart.. It tells me that My Heart is burning.. it is burning me from the inside.. I needs to take a breathe.. because YOU are taking my Breathe away.. as I am looking at the Note.. writing with the Pen.. telling YOU that I miss YOU.. when can I see YOU.. It burns me.. giving me Chest pains because I am missing YOU.. over and over again.. I keep on missing YOU.. will this Note goes to YOU.. if I put this Note in this Bottle.. I wonder how far the current of this water can push the Bottle through.. will it goes to YOU.. will you receive this Message that I wrote on the Note in this Bottle.. if the Current of the waters are strong enough to let this Bottle goes across.. I want this Message in the bottle to go to YOU.. I don't want another hand grabbing this Bottle because it is all written to tell YOU How Much I love YOU.. and How much I miss YOU.. I don't think it can go far.. I don't want the wrong person.. wrong hand
oh my god this song and even more this video deserve to have billions of views, i mean all that impeccable choreography, her movements, her fluidity, not for nothing she is one of the top 3 best dancers in kpop and the top 5 of the most complete idols. chung ha is a queen.
Oink Oink.. I am laying on the Bed in the room.. I am hearing songs playing in my Head.. even though I can't sing.. I can't even dance.. I can't even write Music or even compose.. I can't even write any lyrics.. But.. tell me why is a SONG playing in my Head.. and the room is dark because the Light has turned off in the room.. I am moving side to side.. and I am thinking of YOU.. I want to play a SONG for you.. only if I was a musician.. I would sit.. writing lyrics.. and writing the song notes.. composing a Music.. and I be thinking of what to say.. to express this Heart.. and to tell YOU through Music.. playing instrument to say that I love YOU.. but How.. How can I tell YOU that I love YOU more.. if only I have listened.. and what good is it now of regretting.. the Times when someone came to try to teach me how to play a song.. as I am sitting on top of the Bed.. I feel like the Times has gone by so Fast.. that I realize I am missing something to share.. to tell YOU more.. Is only Letters that I can tell YOU.. But My Heart wants to tell YOU so much More.. How can I tell YOU when YOU can't hear me on the Other side.. and I want to say something to YOU.. to YOUR HEART.. as I am looking at the corner of the ROOM.. I see the Little Piano.. it has been sitting there for a Long time.. and I would touch the key bars.. I would just press the key bars to bring Out the Sounds.. but I know that I can't play anything on that Little Piano.. but I wish I could.. I wish I have so that I can tell YOU.. only if I have two things.. YOUR HEART.. when are YOU going to give me Your Heart.. so that I can place YOUR Heart close to this Little Piano.. at least YOU can hear noises and sounds coming Out from that Little Piano.. and I would place your Heart.. Putting inside the Glass Jar.. and I would sit.. bringing a chair so that I can sit next to the Little Piano.. I would place the Glass Jar.. with Your Heart.. on Top of the Little Piano.. and I be crying looking at Your Heart as My Heart be burning inside of me because I love YOU.. I would say.. do YOU Hear me.. can YOU Heart this Heart.. it is burning and beating fast at the same time.. WHY can't YOU see me.. why can't you hear Me.. as I would pull the Letter.. with the pencil in my hand.. and I would LOOK at the Glass Jar.. LOOKING at Your Heart.. OH HOW MUCH I wanted to say something to this Heart of Yours.. and it has been such a Long time I been asking for this Heart.. why did it take so Long for Your Heart to come.. Now I am much older and grey.. do YOU think that I can walk properly and just waiting for the grave.. can I still tell YOU when I am laying on my own grave.. it has taken this Long.. I am an Older Man now.. and YOU are wondering.. will I still be able to love YOU as where I am Now.. I believe the age is nothing when it comes to Loving YOU.. fully embracing my self.. my Heart to love YOU and to tell YOU HOW much I love YOU.. and as I would be writing YOU a Letter.. with the Pencil.. I be crying looking at the Glass Jar.. crying because I am able to express fully.. to tell YOU by looking at Your Heart.. I am dying inside because I love YOU so Much.. I am dying because I love YOU.. I can feel my own blood rushing down because I can't stop but just loving YOU.. if YOU are to ask me why I died.. what will be written is because I just loved YOU to death.. I couldn't stop loving YOU so I died just waiting for YOU.. I would be writing a SONG.. playing on this Little Piano of what happened to me the Night before I died.. it is because I loved YOU SO MUCH.. just waiting for YOU but YOU never showed UP.. as my hairs turn grey.. and Just waiting.. it is because I love YOU.. after I write on this Letter of How much I love YOU.. I would look at the Glass jar.. looking at Your Heart and I would look at the Key Bars of this Little Piano.. I am Not sure what to push.. which key bars to press down.. the sounds are Not going to come Out right.. but would YOU still listen to the Sounds that each Key bars makes when my fingers presses down.. It is because I want to say something to YOU.. if YOU are asking me what am I going to say through the Sounds of playing on this LITTLE PIANO pushing the Key bars.. I don't want YOU to listen to the Music sound because it will Not make any sense of tunes it brings.. but What counts is that I want YOUR HEART to listen.. please listen to the voice I want to speak as YOU can hear the back ground sounds playing something.. I want to show YOU that it is Not the Noise or the sounds of the Little Piano speaking to YOU but it is My Heart.. I have a heart just like the Heart I am looking in the glass Jar.. I just want to say that I love YOU.. as my fingers starts to press on the key bars of this Little Piano.. my eyes are On the Glass Jar with Your Heart inside.. I want to touch Your Heart.. I want to feel Your Heart.. can YOU hear me now.. Can YOU hear my voice speaking.. I am talking to Your Heart.. that I love YOU.. HOW MUCH MORE WORDS I must say.. I must tell or share for YOU to understand My Heart.. as I am crying looking at Your Heart.. I just want to spend the rest of my Life of just loving YOU.. but YOU are so far away.. this Miles and separations.. the long distances that is killing me from the Inside.. sometimes I wonder what do I do if I keep on missing YOU and I am asking for Your Presence.. I would ask.. take me away because I am suffering.. Take me away first.. Please let me Die.. then I don't have to bear all this pain.. I am suffering because I love YOU.. I feel so painful inside because I love YOU.. I want to see YOU and be close to YOU.. what am I suppose to do when YOU are so far.. miles away that it feels I can never reach YOU.. as I am looking at the fingers.. I do hear sounds coming out from this Little Piano but I have NO idea what I am playing.. it sounds very bad because there is NO song.. this is NOT a music at all.. and YOU are asking me why am I playing on this Little Piano if I can't play a song.. and It sounds so bad.. I want Your Heart to know that it is Not the Sound or the Music.. but Please hear my voice.. YOU can hear my voice clearly if the song is not playing right.. so that I can speak to this Heart.. to Your Heart.. I want to tell YOU that I am missing YOU.. so what do YOU do when YOU be missing.. how will YOU react when YOU start to miss a lot.. and It drives YOU crazy.. It drives YOU like a wild person.. what will YOU DO if YOU were to be in my place.. that is why I am asking you right Now.. this is what I am dealing with.. this is what I am going through.. that I am going nuts.. I am going crazy because I am missing YOU.. as I would pick up the Letter I wrote YOU.. and sitting on this chair by the Little Piano.. my fingers stop pressing the Key bars of this Little Piano.. there is a great silence in the room.. as I am looking at the writings on this Letters.. It is written to tell YOU what My Heart is going through.. and I look at the Glass Jar.. Looking at Your Heart.. I want to speak and share what I wrote on this Letter.. I want to LOOK at the Glass Jar.. and speak.. tell your Heart what I am feeling right Now.. but I just can't.. My words will Not come Out.. I want to say it to Your Heart.. but My Lips is moving.. Words are not coming out.. it is because I am sitting on the TOP of the Bed.. the ROOM is dark.. and the Little Piano is on the corner.. and I am trying to go to sleep.. but I just can't.. and Keeps me awake.. My Heart is crying.. My eyes are crying.. My Head is crying because I am crying.. crying for YOU.. wanting YOU close in my arms.. and to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. but I can't.. I get Out of the bed.. since I can't sleep.. I walk to the window and I look Out.. I see the rain falling from the sky and it is still raining slightly.. I feel like this Rain.. my Heart wants to rain because my eyes kept on raining.. will these tears ever stop from my Eyes.. how about my Heart.. I can hear my Heart weeping Loud inside.. asking for YOU.. calling Out your Name.. asking for YOU over and over again.. when can I see YOU again.. when will that day be.. YOU know that I feel like the rain I am seeing outside this room.. and it just don't stop.. lately it has been raining so much.. that It reminds of myself when I look YOU at.. when I look at your Picture.. and I sit.. I be asking for YOU.. that My Heart keeps on raining and when will this rain STOPS.. as I turn away from the Window.. in the Dark.. I see the Little Piano Looking at Me.. asking me to Play a SONG for YOU.. and I would stop and just look at it on the corner.. asking the Little Piano.. what song can I play for YOU.. I can't even play any instrument.. I wished that I learned when I had the chance.. but I did Not wanted to when I was young.. But Now I do regret so much for Not learning because If I learned at that time.. and I would of mastered playing the Little Piano.. I could of have composed a Music and wrote a song for YOU.. and even wrote a Lyrics that goes with the SONG.. I would of have brought the tape recorder in front of me and of course I would of played the Little Piano.. bringing sounds but it be a song just for YOU.. as I would of sang YOU the song while sharing the Lyrics.. after I would of finished playing the Little Piano and sang YOU the SONG.. I would also of read the Letter that I wrote so that YOU know that How much I put into the work.. of telling YOU that I love YOU.. I would of said to YOU.. In front me is the Glass Jar.. Please just imagine with Me.. that I have a Glass Jar.. Inside that Glass jar is Your Heart sitting there.. I would look at YOUR Heart and with Loving YOU I be inspired to share and to write YOU something.. telling YOU.. I saw YOUR Heart.. I saw Your Heart which I waited for a Long time.. I just could Not let Your Heart get away.. when I saw YOUR Heart.. I decided to Put your Heart inside this empty Glass jar
I am looking at the Two baby Teddy Bears.. the Twins and I would be smiling.. SO Beautiful and So Cute.. as they are both sitting next to each other.. I want to Hold the Little Son and the Little Daughter.. Both holding Your Pictures and Looking at YOU.. I would hear the Word MOMMA.. Where is my MOMMA and I would see the Eyes looking at me.. I am trying to get the two to go into the Bed.. but.. It seems like they do NOT want to go to sleep yet.. and I am not sure.. but around this Time.. I would put them into the ROOM and Into their Cribs.. But this very Night.. I see the Two.. the Little SON.. with the Baby Blue shirt.. the Little Daughter with Pink Shirt.. a BOW on top of the Head.. I am looking at the two Bowls.. as I would LOOK at the Phone and to Face TIME you so that the Two Can say something to their MOMMA.. as I am calling YOU on the Phone.. I cannot believe that the Little Daughter.. She does NOT cry any more when I try to Pick her UP.. my Smile grows and I can't believe it.. as I see YOU on the Face TIME.. I wanted to share this news.. and I see YOU.. and YOU be smiling.. but I am also so Happy right Now.. and I hear Your Voice.. the Two baby Teddy Bears.. I see the eyes grows Big and the ears be moving.. Knowing that It is a Voice so Familiar to Them.. and I hear.. the Little SON.. with BABY BLUE shirt.. both Arms raises and hands opens.. MOMMA.. and I be smiling.. Yes.. It is MOMMA.. Your MOMMA on the Phone.. and I see the LITTLE DAUGHTER.. raising UP the Bowl.. saying the FOOD is finished.. and SMILES looking at Me.. with this JOY in my Heart.. I can't stop crying because It was so hard to get this LITTLE ONE.. the LITTLE DAUGHTER to eat.. I did Not want to force anything.. and I would hear crying and never thought that this day would could.. as I would turn the Phone where the Face TIME shows Your Face.. the Two BABY TEDDY BEARS.. the Little SON.. the Lips.. SMILES so BIG with his Sister.. the Little Daughter.. and I see the hands be waving looking at YOU.. I just got this Bow.. the Pink Bow for the Little Daughter.. I just could Not believe that the Little Daughter.. I would sit next to her.. holding the Bowl with a Spoon.. I was Not sure if she would eat or Not.. But.. I started to cry as I put Rice and Beef Meat.. she opens her mouth and starts to chew and eat.. I wanted to call you with the Face Time to show YOU the Little Daughter.. there would been a lot of fits and pushes.. head turning on the Side and I could Not put anything Into her mouth.. and I would sit.. just worried to death.. but Now.. as I am looking at YOU on the Face TIME.. I would hear YOU telling your Children that YOU be coming Home very soon.. and that How much MOMMA misses her babies.. and How you wanted to come sooner.. and watching the Two.. the Little BABY TEDDY BEARS.. holding hands would not go to sleep.. knowing you be coming Home tomorrow must of gave some kind of excitement in the Hearts of Your Children.. and this Morning.. I know that the Little SON.. I would put the Bowl next to HIM.. he would eat alone without any Help.. but Putting the bowl Next to the Little Daughter.. She would Not eat.. I would try to tell the Little Daughter.. if YOU don't eat.. you can get sick.. and I will be sick too and even Your MOMMA be sick with me too.. so Please.. eat so that I can share HOW good daughter YOU BEEN with me.. and I would come closer.. as I sit Next to the Little Daughter.. I grabbed a PINK BOW and Put on top.. showing the Mirror to say.. YOU are the Most Prettiest Little Daughter I ever seen.. and I saw the smile.. grabbing the SPOON.. putting a RICE and the beef.. the Mouth opens wide and I put the spoon into her mouth.. as I see her chew and eat.. I just could NOT hold my tears in.. I just could Not believe that finally I am able to feed this Little Daughter.. in the hand.. there is a Picture.. I would open her Hand and to look at what Picture and it is a Picture of YOU.. and I would look at YOU through this Picture.. my hand touches My Chest and I would say.. WHY do you Burn my Heart.. WHY do you do this TO ME and even bringing the Twins.. the Little SON and the Little Daughter.. my Heart beat faster as I spend the time with Them.. they are so Adorable and so Cute.. never imagined in my Life that I could even fall more harder for YOU because I feel like I am a part of something Bigger now.. I remember when YOU first called me on the Phone.. and asking ME that YOU had to go somewhere.. and YOU had a problem.. that YOU could Not take your Children with YOU.. and needed them to be place by somewhere safe and secure and wanted to ask me a Favor.. if I could baby sit your children while YOU are away on this Business journey.. I remember I paused for a few minutes.. trying to think straight because I was Not sure if it was the right THING to bring your Two Children.. and YOU told me that they are two.. One is a Boy and the Other is a girl.. and they are Twins.. Little SON and the Little Daughter.. and it is a hard decision for YOU to leave them behind but this trip was very important for YOU.. of course I did Not want to say NO.. I had NO experience of How to deal with kids.. I never had any children on my own so I am Not sure what I am suppose to DO.. but.. of course I know that THIS IS a very Important business meeting.. this trip YOU must take and YOU MUST go so I told YOU.. Yes.. it is because I love YOU.. it is because It is YOU and as long as it is YOU WHO I LOVE the Most.. it does Not matter.. because I will try to be a GOOD baby sitter.. I remember when the DOOR knocked on the Front Door.. did Not expected much.. opening the DOOR.. I saw the Two crying.. I was Not sure.. How am I suppose to handle both be crying.. holding unto MOMMA.. and when YOU try to bring the LITTLE SON closer.. and He was in your Arm and the Little Daughter.. You were holding her hands.. and I saw your steps closer asking me to hold and Carry the Little SON.. he started to Cry Louder as He came into my Arms.. and the Little Daughter started to cry louder and sat on the Floor.. did Not want to come into the House.. and as I would look at this.. My Heart started to feel cracking inside.. started to feel this breaking deep within me.. WHY.. they do not understand why YOU have to leave them with Me.. and when I went inside the House holding the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little SON.. He is looking at YOU from the back.. arms stretching to YOU.. and Made me stop.. My Heart just could Not handle this pain of hearing this ONE cry and asking for YOU.. asking for His MOMMA and WHY you had to leave HIM with me.. and I would stand still thinking.. what am I suppose to do if they keep on crying.. asking for YOU.. and what do I do when they keep crying over and over.. and I turn around to ask YOU this Question.. I see you walk into this House.. YOU were holding the Other Little BABY Teddy Bear.. the Little Daughter.. and YOU went over to the Couch and Put the Little Daughter to sit still and I would come over to Place and sit the Little SON next to her.. both crying.. and hands be rubbing the eyes looking at YOU and Looking at me.. and I would say.. and YOU would give a Phone to the Little Daughter.. and Placing the Hand of the Little SON.. telling the Two YOU be coming Home soon.. and that I am a BABY Sitter for few days so Don't cry.. and I see the two Stop crying when YOU tell them that.. and I see YOU with Your Other Phone and YOU dial the Number.. and the Phone would ring.. the Little Daughter looks at the Phone.. the Little SON looks at the Phone and presses.. and It is the Face Time.. and the two looks at the Face Time.. I see YOU walking back.. and YOU are talking to the two Little BABY TEDDY BEARS and I would watch them smile.. hands be waving looking at YOU through the Phone and giving them two Pictures.. One for the Little SON and the Other for the Little Daughter.. so that YOU are near and YOU gave me One too.. and as I would look at YOU.. I would watch YOU say good bye and Left the Front Door.. I remember the first Night.. I just could Not sleep at all.. and the two Would Not sleep either.. both sitting on the Couch and would be crying.. asking for YOU.. for MOMMA.. of course every one Hour I would hear the Phone ringing and the Two siting next to each Other.. they would fight for the Phone.. pushing the Button for the Face TIME.. I see them showing Teeth and growling that One of them has to talk and the Other.. as I would watch still on the corner.. I did Not want to bother any of them because of how the two.. the Little BABY TEDDY bears kept on crying crying after YOU would hang UP the Phone.. pushing and shoving who is going to answer next.. after a long period of time crying.. I would hear silence.. and when I look at the Couch.. the two be sleeping next to each other.. and I would walk into the ROOM.. and the Picture YOU gave me.. I would go over to the desk and sit alone.. looking at your Picture.. I would be thinking.. they been crying all through the day after you left.. and the two do Not want to eat either.. they do NOT want to drink any waters.. sits on that couch.. LOOKS at your Pictures crying and looks at the Phone to see it rings.. and I am looking at your Picture.. but YOU are so Beautiful.. why did YOU have to bring those two into my House and I know that I have NO experience with children.. what if they keep on crying asking for YOU.. I hear where is MOMMA.. why isn't MOMMA calling the Phone.. and Keeps on crying for YOU.. and Now there is Peace and silence as I am sitting in this ROOM alone.. of course if the Two Little Ones are crying Out for YOU.. asking and missing YOU.. I know that my Heart truly feels the same.. that I do want to see YOU SOON too and that I know what the two Little TEDDY BEARS are feeling
Again.. this Cry.. it cries and cries.. My Heart cries OUT loud the way the two Baby Teddy Bears be crying Out.. wiping the Tears.. grabbing unto the Phone.. pushing each Other for the Next to LOOK at YOU.. saying It is Mine turn to see.. and cries after the Hanging UP on the Phone and looking at YOU.. LOOKING at your Picture crying of these sorrows in the Hearts.. I would watch the Two Little BABY Teddy bears.. sitting on that Couch.. I know that Heart.. I can feel that Pain in the Heart because that is HOW I feel to when YOU are Gone.. when YOU are far away which leaves me to be more lonely than ever.. just to be with YOU.. just to tell YOU.. but my Words can't say it.. I see the two., saying I MISS YOU.. and I love YOU.. LOOKING at you when the Two looks at YOU through the Face Time.. but I stand still.. it kills me the Most.. it eats me at it inside because I wish that I can be like the two TEDDY BEARS.. your Children who is able to say it and tell It the way it just feels inside but I just cannot.. and I would watch them cry.. I cry with the Two watching on the SIDELINE because.. I want to go over to the Phone.. looking at you on the Face TIME and when I look at you through the PHONE on FACE TIME.. just to tell YOU with my tears in my eyes to say it with Means.. I miss YOU and I love YOU.. why can't you be here so that I don't needs to cry any more and watch the Children to cry along with me.. it burns My Heart into pieces.. it burns because it hurts so much.. this PAIN of loving YOU.. I may become sick.. sick inside because I am Loving you just too much just for too long.. that IS how much I love YOU.. I am looking at your Picture.. just thinking about YOU.. if I am sitting here.. and just missing YOU.. I wonder about the two Little Ones.. the Baby Teddy Bears be feeling.. I am looking at the Son.. and I am looking at the Daughter.. Both so adorable and so Cute.. and I want to see YOU.. of course both are in the cribs and they are sleeping.. I just came Out of the room.. and two rooms in this House.. as I am thinking about the Long Day.. I would be hearing crying.. Just crying for Momma.. and I would be showing the two Little Teddy Bears Your Picture.. and I would see the Son.. I would say.. this is Your MOMMA.. do you see her.. which I am speaking about You.. and the Little Son.. He would grab your Picture with both hands.. and Looks at the Picture.. sitting on the Couch.. and I am looking at him.. standing UP.. I would see the two tears.. lines of tears running down the cheeks.. and I am thinking.. what am I suppose to do.. This Little Son is crying for YOU.. and I see the kiss.. kissing the Picture of YOU and saying.. MOMMA.. MOMMA I miss YOU and I am just standing.. am I suppose to call YOU on the Phone.. of course the Little Son is more quiet.. but the Daughter.. has a pink Bow on top of the Head.. wearing Pink shirt.. I know that this Daughter is Hungry.. I remember you calling me on the Phone.. and I would hear the ringing.. so I pick UP the Phone.. and I hear YOU on the Other side of the Line.. and I am looking at the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. I would sit Her on the Diner Table.. and she Sits on the chair you brought from your Home.. I would be trying to tell YOU.. why doesn't the Daughter Eat.. I know that she must be hungry.. but I am looking at her.. the Daughter.. sitting on her chair.. and I see the head turns to look at me.. and crying.. I can hear the weeping loud.. asking where is MOMMA.. I miss MOMMA and I would just stand there.. what am I suppose to do.. and I would be walking to the Diner room.. and I would stand by the chair the Daughter is sitting down.. and I would lower myself to look at the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. and I would ask.. Can I face Time YOU.. so that this Daughter can take a Look at you.. she has been crying.. and I would ask if she wanted to eat.. the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter would tell me No.. I just fed the Little Son.. did Not cry at all when I gave him some bowl of rice.. as I would face time YOU.. and I am looking at you through the Screen.. I really miss YOU.. of course I am not just going to stand here and cry like these two little Ones are.. but I want to see YOU.. if I am missing you a lot.. then I wonder how these two be feeling.. and I would show the Little baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter the Face time.. and I see that She loves to see YOU.. and wiping the tears for her eyes and looking at you.. I hear the voice.. words.. I miss My MOMMA.. Where are YOU.. when are YOU coming Home.. and I can feel my Heart be shaking hear those words.. and I see you on the face time.. YOU are smiling looking at the Daughter.. I hear the words from YOU telling the Daughter.. I love YOU.. and I miss You too.. and My Heart.. my hand touch my chest.. did YOU hear that.. it is my Heart just woke UP to those words.. I am looking at you on Face time.. I wish that those words be said to Me.. I wonder if YOU would ever tell me those words.. I know that YOU love the two Baby Little Teddy Bears.. your Little Son and the Daughter.. both staying at my House.. but.. I want you to come soon.. I never thought it be this hard to be missing YOU.. but when I am looking at the two Little Teddy Bears and they are missing YOU.. and watching them both crying.. and Looking for YOU and waiting for YOU.. it breaks my Heart.. especially every Night.. I would watch the Little Baby Teddy Bear the Son.. He would sit on the floor and Looks at the front door.. and Just looks at the door knob.. and just stares for a while.. waiting for YOU.. and finger points at the Door Knob and turns the Head to look at me.. asking me.. MOMMA.. take to My MOMMA.. is MOMMA coming home tonight.. and turns the head to look UP at the Door.. as I would stand behind with few steps behind.. I do not want to go pick him up.. the Little Baby Teddy Bear.. the Son.. when I go and share the bad news that YOU are Not coming Home.. I hate to see because when my hands reach and arms hold the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little son.. right when I pick him Up.. He starts to cry.. and Loud and Loud cries I hear.. I hate it because He would Not stop crying.. I don't want to say to HIM.. MOMMA is Not coming home tonight.. and When I do.. the Cry grows louder and louder and screams for MOMMA.. my Heart.. I can feel my Heart be shaking because I want to scream and cry too.. because It breaks my Heart.. after few minutes of crying.. I see that He goes to sleep.. in my arms wrapped around.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear sit still.. and I go into the room.. where the two cribs are.. put into the Crib where he sleeps.. I know that YOU told me about a week YOU are going to stay away.. going on a vacation but I am wondering.. why did YOU not take these two with YOU.. and had to leave them with Me.. Now as I am looking at YOU.. on the Face time on the screen.. I would look at the Daughter smiling.. waving the hand at YOU.. and giggles and wiggles.. and I hear you saying to be a Nice baby girl.. and telling the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter that She needs to eat.. if she is hungry.. to eat.. that I am Not a bad person.. but there to be here for the two.. so I am smiling as the baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter sits on the chair.. and saying Yes to your words.. I have already prepared for the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I have her Bowl with rice and Meat.. I have set it on the table where she is sitting.. and I would take the Phone away from Her.. and I am looking at YOU.. I hear the crying starting after I took the Phone away.. as I am looking at YOU on the screen of this Face Time.. I would hear YOU say to me.. I am suppose to feed Her.. that she loves it when I sit next to her.. and I feed her with the Spoon.. the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son is more like On his Own but She is different.. like a baby.. and I hear more crying from Her.. and so I would pull the chair.. the chair I sit to eat and I would sit next to her.. and I give the Phone to the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I would pick Her up and let her sit on my Lap.. as the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Daughter sits.. I would look at the Bowl of rice.. scooping with the Spoon.. putting a Cow meat on top.. I am looking at the Little Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. she opens her mouth Wide.. and she is looking at YOU on the Phone screen on Face time.. and I see YOU looking at the BABY TEDDY BEAR.. the Daughter.. and I hear you smile.. and saying.. GOOD JOB.. and I can hear her chewing and eating.. I was truly scared that this One may go starve.. I tried to give her the same Bowl of Rice and the beef meat.. had to cut the meat into smaller pieces.. but would Not eat when I tried.. But now.. I see the main reason why the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear would not take it from a strange person.. I see How delicate this One truly is.. I would see the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. showing YOU her teeth and showing how she is chewing.. as I would scoop another bowl of rice.. putting a smaller pieces of beef meat on the top.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter opening the Mouth wide.. the spoon enters gently into and I see how she is able to take it all in as she starts to chew.. and I pull away the Spoon out of the mouth.. I am looking at the Baby Teddy bear.. the Daughter How much she enjoys looking at YOU through this Phone Screen on the Face time.. and smiles looking at YOU.. after the chewing is done.. I am able to look at you through the Phone of the screen.. I hear YOU telling the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. How much YOU love.. and How much you miss.. and asking about her brother.. so I am able to raise her UP and Put her on the Chair where she sits.. as I take the Phone away.. I start to hear Crying.. I mean is this One going to keep on crying every time I take the Phone away.. But I knew that the Little Son also wanted to see YOU
Is sitting on the floor.. and close to the Door.. looking at the door Knob.. I would put the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter on the Couch and she sits there.. so I would walk where the door is at.. I would put my arms around HIM.. lift him Up.. the Little Son.. his both arms reaches.. hands open for the door and I hear him crying.. waiting for MOMMA.. as I am walking away.. WHY do I have to feel this Crumbling crash from the Inside of my Heart.. I do not want to keep on hearing all these cries.. I would take him to the couch.. and let HIM sit on the couch next to his sister.. as I would stand and I would pull away from the couch.. I see the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son.. he turns to look at the Phone and looks at the Screen.. He looks closer and sees someone.. I hear MOMMA.. Me MOMMA.. and smiles.. both looks at each other and looks at the Screen of the Phone.. at the Face Time.. I would hear.. MOMMA.. I am waiting by the door.. are YOU going to come and take Us.. I miss YOU MOMMA.. I love YOU MOMMA.. as I am looking at the two Baby Little Teddy Bears.. both smiles very big looking at YOU on the Phone of the screen on face time.. MOMMA.. I love YOU.. MOMMA.. I want to see YOU.. and I would stand there.. I would watch until the Phone gets hung UP.. and Both starts to feel tired and they would sleep next to each Other.. I am looking at the Room.. the Door where the two Baby Teddy Bears are sleeping.. and I know that They were so glad and happy to see YOU.. as I am sitting in the Diner Room.. I am looking at Your Picture.. It has been a long day but time flies so Fast because busy with the Two baby Little Teddy Bears.. I am just looking at Your Picture.. Just missing YOU.. just hoping YOU would come home sooner.. Not because of the two Baby Teddy Bears.. but Just missing YOU around.. I know that I haven't said this Lately.. But I do Love YOU.. I love YOU just too much.. and I just missing YOU right Now.. please tell me this.. when are YOU coming Home.. so that I can see YOU.. so that I can tell YOU how much I missed YOU and still be missing YOU.. just to tell YOU how much I love YOU too.. that YOU are who I love the Most.. and has never stopped loving YOU.. I am sitting on the Couch.. on my Lap is the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. Next to me sitting is the Other baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. I am smiling.. looking at the Picture.. and on my Lap.. the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear is looking at YOU.. and I am missing YOU.. asking when YOU are coming.. I want to show you the Two Little Ones.. the children are getting better as the days go by.. I haven't heard them be crying.. and as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. I see you holding the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear.. and YOU are sitting on the couch and next to YOU is the Daughter.. who is smiling sitting next to YOU.. it is the same situation.. My finger touch over your face.. and I hear the Little Son.. asking for Mama.. and I would show the Little Son.. and Show the Little Son.. the baby Teddy Bear.. the Picture of YOU and as the Little Son looks at you through the Picture.. and I would say.. yes.. I miss too.. I want to see YOU.. but It seems like it is going to take a little Longer.. I remember few days ago.. a Phone would ring and I answered the Call.. Hearing your Voice on the Other Line.. telling me that YOU are going to stay a little More Longer and will delay the flight.. I could not tell the two.. the Two Little Baby Teddy bears.. I know that if I tell them.. they are going to cry for YOU.. and I do not like it when both children sits and cries for YOU.. do YOU know How much that Hurts me because they are hurting over YOU.. the way I feel about YOU.. so I asked YOU.. if I can keep it a secret and not to tell the Daughter and the Little Son because I know.. you do not know how it breaks my Heart.. when I have to stand still or sit.. watching them cry.. when the One starts to cry.. the Other joins in to cry along side.. and they both be looking at Your Picture.. and turns to LOOK at me.. asking where YOU are.. asking where is MOMMA.. and what am I suppose to say.. I had to watch both looking at the door.. both sits next to each other.. and they are looking at the front door.. and LOOKS at me.. keeps looking at me and I know what they both are saying.. where are YOU.. I have to say.. YOU are going on a long meeting.. I think for a business trip.. MOMMA needs to go to make Money so that YOU can buy good things and I would try to explain what the good things are.. but of course they do not get what I am saying at all.. They are too young to understand or knows these things.. as I would sit on the couch.. putting the Little Son and sits on my Lap.. I would give the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear the Picture.. of course If I give the Little SON a picture of YOU.. I would look at the Daughter who looks at Me.. and wants to have a picture of YOU.. she keeps on looking UP at me which she is sitting next to Me.. I have to have a picture of YOU.. so I asked for three pictures to be sent.. they be fighting over Your Picture which the two would always cry over.. taking my picture away.. I remember calling you on the Phone.. I asked YOU if YOU can bring and sent three pictures.. so NO ONE fights over or cries.. or fusses.. Now.. there has been a great peace and Joy in this House.. as I am looking at the Picture of YOU.. I miss YOU.. when I have the two baby teddy bears.. which they are Your Children.. it seems like I miss YOU more and More.. because they came from YOU.. and so Beautiful children.. and I would hear giggles from the Daughter.. she points and shows me YOU.. and I hear the word MOMMA.. and asks me.. where is MOMMA.. and I would look down at the Daughter.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. and I would tell her.. working.. and the Little SON turns and looks.. and asks me the same question.. and I hear I MISS YOU MOMMA.. and it hurts.. I have to hear these words out of these two children.. why is it that I am hurting more.. I am hurting much more when the Two.. the Daughter and the Little Son.. they would look at your Picture and tells me.. MOMMA.. I miss YOU.. and Keeps on showing the Picture of YOU to me.. and tells me I love YOU.. and I miss MOMMA.. I am sitting on the couch.. they are expressing what I am feeling all of the Time.. I know that I can truly relate but the problem is there is Nothing I can do.. what am I suppose to say when YOU Miss.. and has NO answers to what I am feeling because I know How it is hurting me More.. I feel like for myself.. but when YOU can the children involve.. I feel like I am taking more loads on my Heart.. why can't you come Home.. why cant you come sooner.. the two are always missing YOU.. asking me where are YOU.. and they sit on the floor.. LOOKING at the front Door.. and I know if I try to pick the two UP.. One will cry because.. and I have to hear the other One cry too.. and it can get to YOU sometimes.. I wish I can find a way that NO ONE gets hurt and I just don't have to be hearing more cries.. as I walk out of the room.. I would watch the two Baby Teddy Bears falls asleep.. I had to give the two a Bath.. putting the Bubbles into the bath tub.. the two enjoyed taking a Bath in the bubble.. I had to put them into the Crib because It was the bed Time.. I grab a Book and started to read them and I saw the two baby Teddy Bears.. the Little SON and the Daughter.. they both started to sleep while I was reading a children's book.. as I watch the two sleeping.. I would smile looking at the two children.. they are so Beautiful.. of course they are Your Babies so it makes it more beautiful for me to see.. as I would walk out of the room.. I go into my room and sit on the chair.. with the desk.. I am looking at Your Picture.. and it is the Picture of YOU and the two Baby Teddy Bears.. the Little SON sitting on your Lap.. and the Daughter.. she is sitting on the couch next to YOU.. with a Yellow Bow on top of the Head.. My Heart moves.. LOOKING at this picture.. My Heart screams from the Inside.. and I have bought an Art.. the GIANT SKETCH BOOK.. and I would sit.. wanting to draw the Picture of YOU.. with the two Children.. am I loving YOU more.. I can't stop looking at Your Picture.. with the two children.. the Little SON and the Daughter.. why did you have to come and introduce me to the two.. when ever I look at the two.. I am only seeing YOU more but my Heart just loves YOU more.. when the two sits next with me.. and I watch them smile.. it kills me inside because they make me smile.. my heart lights UP on fire when I see the two.. I am holding the hands of the Little SON.. I try to get him to walk.. but He sits and cries instead.. trying to teach the BABY TEDDY BEAR.. the Little SON to walk.. I remember I called YOU on the Phone.. and I wanted to face time.. and I saw YOU on the Phone.. with my two hands.. I held the two hands of the Little SON.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. trying to get two legs to get UP.. and through the Face time YOU saw your SON.. and he falls and starts to cry.. and the Daughter starts to cry with her Brother.. and I had to let you go on the Face time.. and I am sitting on the chair.. looking at the Picture and thinking of these little flashbacks.. and I grab the Pencil.. which it is use to draw.. but I just could not draw.. I know that YOU be coming soon.. when YOU come.. I know the two Little Ones.. the Two Baby Teddy Bears are going to go with you.. that Means.. it is going to break my Heart.. not just going to be missing YOU but also the two Little ones you brought.. I know that I needs to do this.. so I would look at the Picture of YOU.. Looking at the Little SON sitting on top of Your lap and LOOKING at the Daughter who is sitting next to YOU.. OH MY HEART.. these precious Little Ones.. MY Heart.. what are you doing to this Heart of Mine.. why did YOU have to bring them to Me
A children's book and starts to read or they will Not go to sleep.. so I would look at the Phone.. and I would see YOU.. and the two baby Teddy Bears.. they know it is MOMMA on the Other side.. and I would give the Daughter the Phone.. and I see her looking at YOU and with a Big SMILE.. waving hand at YOU.. and I would open the Book.. and I would start to read the sentences.. paragraphs it becomes.. and I can hear YOU on the Phone telling the Two LITTLE ONES.. and the Daughter would hand to the LITTLE SON.. and Looks at YOU.. Looking at MOMMA.. and I can hear YOU on the Other side asking the two Children.. what is the story about and to explain to YOU.. as I would read and Pause.. I hear answers coming out trying to answer the questions.. and I sit still.. the two Baby Teddy Bears.. both looking at YOU through the Face TIME of the Phone.. trying to tell YOU the answers.. Fussing and bumping into each other.. of course.. after a time.. I would watch the two Letting YOU go on the Other side.. and I would look at the two Little Ones looking at me.. and I would continue to read the Children's Book.. open my mouth loud and clear.. and I would watch the two.. the eyes would get heavy and both sleeps on the Floor.. One at a time.. I would pick UP.. with the Daughter first.. putting Her into her crib and then I would go and pick UP the Little SON.. which I would stand still.. Holding Him in my arms like he is my SON.. and I would slowly put him into his crib.. and turning Off the Light.. I would leave the room.. I am sitting in my room.. just thinking about the day.. I would love to draw the sketch.. but I know that I am not that good in drawing at all.. I am truly terrible at it.. I am not sure why I grab me the Art Pencil when I know that I just can't finish it.. but deep in my heart.. I do want to draw YOU.. and looking at the Picture.. the two Baby Teddy Bears.. Not just YOU but with the two children on the Picture.. but My Heart just won't let me do it.. because I know it will shatter inside because I love YOU.. My Heart will shatter into pieces because I know that the two will be leaving soon.. of course I wish that the two Little Children can stay more longer.. but the More longer they are with me.. More I feel like it is Hurting me instead.. what if I would say to YOU.. don't let the children leave me.. I would be crazy before Your Eyes and I know that they belong.. they came with YOU and that is why I know they must go with YOU.. My Heart just can't accept that the two Baby Teddy Bears be leaving me soon.. and it is hurting me right Now because I know this.. of course they must go with YOU.. as I sit still in the silent.. I receive a Message from YOU.. and YOU have sent me something.. it is a New Picture of YOU.. and YOU are showing me.. telling me where YOU are.. and as I would look on the Phone to take a look at the New Picture of YOU.. and I know that the Children.. the two Baby Teddy Bears will love this Picture of YOU.. of their MOMMA.. which YOU are smiling in this One.. that YOU are doing so GOOD.. this is what I wanted to see.. what I wanted to hear.. and I hear the phone ringing.. and I picked UP the Phone to hear Your Voice.. and I would tell YOU.. after the face time.. I know that the children.. the two Baby TEDDY BEARS would be arguing and they would fuss at each other because they wanted to give YOU the answers.. and Yes.. I had to let YOU go to get this issue solved.. did I finish reading the children's BOOK.. while I was reading the stories to them.. I saw the eyes.. the Daughter first.. the eyes grew tired and I saw the two eyes would close and She lay on the floor sleeping.. I would keep on reading the Children's book and I would look at the eyes of the Little SON.. which he grew tired too.. both eyes started to close and He lays on the floor sleeping next to his sister.. I would keep on reading for at least 30 more minutes.. as I close the Children's Book.. I would pick UP the Daughter first and Put her in the Crib.. and I would go over to the Little SON and Pick Him up next.. Putting HIM into his crib.. and I stood watching the two sleeping.. holding the Daughter.. the BABY TEDDY BEAR in my arms.. I hear I miss MOMMA.. as I would walk out of the room where the two are sleeping.. I would be thinking of YOU and I go into my room.. sitting on the chair next to the desk.. I would LOOK at the Picture of YOU with the two Little ONES.. BABY TEDDY BEARS.. the Daughter and the Little Son.. the Little SON sitting on your Lap and the Daughter sitting next to YOU with the Little Yellow Bow on top of her Head.. I wanted to draw picture of YOU with the two children.. and I kept on looking at Your Picture.. trying to draw I just could Not.. then YOU called Me.. all I wanted to say is this.. that I miss YOU and that I love YOU too.. missing YOU so much hurts me right Now.. so Please come Home soon.. I am trying to draw Picture of YOU.. grabbing the Pencil and Looking at the sketch paper.. the Picture is in front of me as I am sitting by the desk.. as I am smiling looking at the Picture of YOU.. I just can't believe I have your Picture.. YOU are the Most Beautiful.. Just too beautiful to be true.. and the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on my Lap.. The most Beautiful Baby Boy.. I am trying to concentrate drawing.. the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on my Lap.. I see the hands trying to grab the Pencil.. losing me to Put the Pencil Down.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. this little Son.. starts to cry.. wanting to hold the Pencil.. I tell this baby Teddy Bear.. I am trying to draw a picture.. why can't You just sit on my lap and just watch me Draw.. I am looking at your Picture.. and I just want to see YOU.. the baby Teddy Bear looks at my eyes and turns to look at the direction I am looking at.. This Little Son looks at your Picture.. and hands wants to grab your Picture.. and tries to get closer to the Picture.. But.. I would pull the Baby Teddy Bear away.. and He looks at me starts to cry.. saying that is MOMMA.. and I just can't believe.. this Baby Teddy Bear knows the Picture is YOU.. knows who his Momma is.. and as I would pull away.. I want to draw.. I tell the Baby Teddy Bear.. Please.. let me draw on the sketch paper.. I hear another Crying on the back.. it is His Sister.. and they are twins.. two Baby Teddy Bears.. One.. the sister is sleeping on the Bed.. the Daughter.. and I can hear a crying and I would turn to look back.. and I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. she has woken UP from sleep.. and Looking for MOMMA.. and I turn around.. as I get up.. the Little Son.. He starts to cry as I am holding.. I turn away from the desk.. holding the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. Now I hear both crying.. Both crying for their Momma.. and as I put the Little Son.. the Baby Teddy Bear on the Bed.. next to His sister.. both are crying as I am looking at the two Baby Teddy Bears.. I just don't know what to do.. when Both are crying together.. looking for Momma.. and it breaks my Heart because I do also Miss YOU as well.. I want to see YOU.. then I wonder how these two Baby Teddy Bears be feeling.. when they belong to YOU and being that part of family.. I am watching both crying and crying.. hands are asking to be Hold.. and I am just standing here.. ALL I wanted to do is to draw picture of YOU.. sitting by the desk.. looking at the picture of YOU.. and just to draw the picture.. to know how much I love YOU.. and I wanted to show YOU and to give it as a gift to YOU.. but it seems like it is Not working at this point.. What am I suppose to Do.. the two baby Teddy bears are crying.. they are looking for MOMMA.. am I suppose to call YOU.. because they will not stop Crying.. I can't even draw picture of YOU any More because.. they are crying.. I can't concentrate with Two babies crying.. as I would look.. I would pick up the Phone.. but when I picked UP the Phone.. it was YOU who was calling.. and I would hear your voice on the Other side.. I smile because I was about to call YOU.. and YOU have read my mind.. asking about How the two baby Teddy Bears be doing.. and YOU can hear the two crying.. the twins.. Baby Girl and baby Boy.. both crying for MOMMA.. and I would look at the two.. and I would tell the two.. It is MOMMA on the Phone.. and I see both stops crying and I would give the Phone to the Daughter first.. and I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. hands grab and pulling away from His sister.. wanting to hear the voice of their MOMMA.. and I am just.. my Heart.. My Chest.. My Heart.. How much these two are missing their MOMMA.. wanting to see.. I see both ears.. trying to listen to the Voice of their MOMMA.. and I would look at the two.. they are so Beautiful.. both.. the twins.. the Baby Teddy Bears.. both so Cute but so Beautiful.. I would turn around.. and I do remember.. I was sitting down on the chair.. by the desk.. Looking at your Picture.. I would look and say to Your Picture.. when can I see YOU.. will you let me hold YOU.. will you let me love YOU.. I know I can love you the way YOU want to be held and want to be loved.. I know that I can love you in a way you would never felt before.. I can tell YOU.. tell YOU how much I miss YOU.. How Much I love YOU.. but.. YOU have to give me the permission.. allow me to tell YOU that I love YOU.. and I would be looking at your Picture.. when will you come around so that I can see YOU.. My hand grabbing unto the Pencil.. looking at a sketch of paper.. My hand starts to trace.. using the pencil to draw.. and I am looking at your picture.. to draw you on this sketch paper.. and right when I was about to go deeper.. I hear a knock on the door.. DOK DOK DOK.. and I am wondering.. who be knocking at the front door at this time of hour.. it is getting late.. and I am thinking.. maybe I am just too tired that I am hearing things.. so I would begin to use my hand to draw.. I hear another Knocking
Their MOMMA.. what am I suppose to do then.. because I have No experiences at all.. and I see you get closer.. trying to hand me over the Little SON.. and as I would hold on with my arms.. the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son starts to cry.. and I see the Little SON.. arms stretching out to YOU.. because He does not want to come to me.. the Cry gets louder and louder.. and arms stretching out to YOU.. wanting to Go to YOU instead of Me.. and His cry so Loud.. hurting my ears.. and I am not sure.. It is so hard for me to control.. and I would ask YOU to come inside.. I see the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter starts to cry too.. both being very loud cries.. I just don't know what to do.. why are you leaving them with Me.. they are both crying loud for YOU.. asking to take them with YOU.. My Heart hurts.. it hurts because I know How it feels to be in a pain when YOU leave.. as YOU would try to give me the Other Teddy Bear.. the Daughter.. She is even more worst.. YOU had to hold Her close.. and She would sleep in your arms.. Would not even come to me.. kicking and screaming when YOU try to get her close to me.. and what happens when the Other Baby Teddy Bear wakes UP and knows YOU are not in the House.. but has left her with Me.. the Other Baby Teddy Bear will find Out that YOU are gone.. but for now.. she may sleep.. if the Other Baby Teddy Bear.. the Daughter did not come to me when YOU were here.. I know she is Not going to come to me when I am alone with Her.. I feel so Bad.. My Heart breaks as I would watch the Little SON.. He sees you walking.. the BABY TEDDY Bear starts to crawl after you.. I am watching.. my eyes.. I feel my tears going to pour out.. as I see you walking fast.. going to the front DOOR and the Little SON.. the Baby Teddy Bear crawls crying after you.. as I watch YOU leave the front door.. and the door closes behind.. the Little Son.. baby Teddy Bear sits and cries.. and sits by the door waiting for YOU as He keeps on crying for his MOMMA.. I am standing behind.. just wiping my tears.. It hurts.. this Pain.. it feels like a sharp pain has entered in me.. It hurts watching the Little Son.. hurting.. crying for his Momma.. and turn to look at me crying.. tears hitting the floor.. and turns to look at the door.. what do I do.. tell me.. what am I suppose to do when It hurts me just watching One breaking Heart.. what do I do.. I wanted to go.. Open that front Door and run after YOU.. grab Your Arm and pull and to let YOU see.. LOOK at the Little SON.. look at HIM crying.. why do I have to be the one to watch His tears run down like this.. WHY do you have to break my Heart when I have done nothing to YOU.. why come over and look at the Heart pieces falling apart.. WHY do I have to be the one with the Broken Heart.. it hurts me more than It hurts YOU.. as I would walk.. closer to the Baby Teddy Bear.. the Little Son.. keeps on crying.. pointing to the Door.. wanting to go with YOU.. but.. I know that I can't take this Little ONE to YOU.. and I am just standing here.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do at this Point.. because I can't help this Little Son.. even though I want too.. but.. YOU be telling me you wanted to be time alone.. you just wanted so time off.. to refresh Your Head and that is why YOU are leaving and has made me to be the Baby sitter for the Two Baby Teddy Bears.. I know you have brought all that is needed for them.. so that part I am ready to do what I was told me to do.. but.. I just can't take the pains of the two baby Teddy Bears be crying.. Now.. I am looking at the two Baby Teddy Bears.. both sitting on the top of the Bed.. with the Phone in their Ears listening to Your Voice.. Both looks at each other and smiles knowing that They are hearing their MOMMA on the Other side.. so I am getting closer.. and I am wondering.. few days.. but when is that the few days end.. so that I can focus on drawing picture of you on the New Sketch Paper Book I just bought from an Art Shop.. I want to draw a picture of YOU and to show YOU when it is all completed.. I be drawing YOU.. for a long time I wanted to draw a picture of YOU.. I know that I am Not good in drawing.. but I do want to try so that I can tell YOU.. I can show YOU this is My Heart.. Not Just My Heart.. but it is My Love.. this is a way I want to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. but I need a time alone.. I need my own time.. if the two Baby Teddy Bears are here.. I know that I can't draw anything.. so I would get close to the Two baby Teddy Bears.. I am asking if I can have the phone Back.. so that I can talk to YOU.. but it seems like the two Baby Teddy Bears does Not want to give me the Phone.. they want to hear their Momma speak on the Other side.. I see the smiles and giggles together.. it look so beautiful.. how the two are so Beautiful when they smile.. just like their MOMMA.. YOU are the most Beautiful when YOU smile.. as I would watch the Phone being hung UP.. and the two sitting on the Bed.. looking at me.. I am not sure what am I suppose to do now.. they just looks at me.. and both starts to cry.. crying loud wanting to see their MOMMA..I am sitting by the desk.. I am looking at the shot glass.. and grabbed the Bottle of whiskey and poured into the Shot glass.. placing the whiskey down.. picked up the shot glass.. opened my mouth and take a shot.. I am trying to forget YOU.. but I just can't.. I have placed your picture on the top of the desk.. I keep on looking at this picture.. I tell myself I needs to stop.. but I feel like I needs to keep on looking.. I would look at your picture and say.. why are you doing this to me.. why do I have to keep on looking at you.. of course I have a pencil and a clean white sheet of paper.. I want to draw.. looking at your picture.. I want to draw the picture of you.. but I know that I am not that good in drawing at all.. but I can feel.. this whiskey starts to kick my head.. I feel light headed and buzzing.. I know I drank so that I can forget you.. but why is it that I am missing you more now.. I just can't take my eyes off of you.. as I am looking at your picture.. why can't your picture talk back to me.. I want to hear something from you.. but no matter how many times I am going to tell you looking at your picture.. I will not hear anything from the Other side.. but I want to hear from you.. Please.. tell me something so that I don't feel the light headed I am feeling at this point right now.. YOU know that I love you.. I can tell you many times that I love YOU.. can you tell me something.. can you hear me say the words to YOU.. I love you.. and I grab the pencil.. starts to trace and starts to draw.. of course I am looking at your picture.. as I stopped.. putting the pencil down.. I have drawn a picture of a Heart.. I know that I am missing your Heart.. and I am looking at this pieces of paper.. looking at the Heart.. this is suppose to be your Heart.. so that I can touch it.. as my hand touches the paper.. my hand touch the Heart.. can you feel my hand.. I am touching your Heart.. can you please tell me that you can feel my Hand touching your Hand.. as my eyes would look at the picture.. it is YOUR Heart I drew.. maybe you would tell me that Heart does not look like yours at all.. I told you that I am not an artist who can paint or draw pictures.. but I know that I can try to draw a Heart.. it is only Your Heart I want to draw.. I want to touch your Heart too.. How about me write my Name on this Heart.. and can I take this piece of paper and give it to YOU.. telling you that I have wrote my name so that YOU know that it is me who loves YOU and asking you to remember my Name.. so that you know that I love you.. I belong to YOU only.. so please.. tell me that I can.. as I grab the bottle of whiskey and pour into the shot Glass.. and place the bottle of whiskey on the top of the desk.. I grab the shot glass and open my mouth and take a shot.. I can feel it burning.. it feels like it wants to burn my Heart instead.. why.. I don't know.. you tell me why.. because I want to hear from you saying that I am allowed too.. as I am sitting down.. looking at the piece of paper.. looking at the Heart I drew.. I turn to look at your picture.. and I would hear a Crying.. I am wondering.. who is crying at this time of night.. is it my Heart.. is My Heart crying from the inside.. is it because of the whiskey.. the shot glass.. the shot of this whiskey.. I don't think my Heart would cry because of it.. and I would sit still.. maybe it is this Heart.. the Heart I drew.. which it is suppose to be Your Heart.. so is Your Heart crying.. and I would sit still trying to figure out why I am hearing crying.. and the Cry I am comes behind me.. and I would turn to look back.. and when I turn to look back.. I see a Teddy Bear.. the arms are stretching out.. and keeps on crying.. and I am wondering.. when did this Teddy Bear got here.. it is smaller and wearing a blue shirt.. must be.. and I would stand up from the chair.. and I hear from the Teddy Bear crying.. MOMMA.. and I stop.. I just can't.. I see tears in the eyes of this Baby Teddy Bear.. and He is crying for Momma.. and I am thinking.. why are you asking me for MOMMA.. I am trying to get over and I grab the Picture and I walk to the bed.. the Baby Teddy Bear sitting on the top of the bed.. and I would sit next to the Baby Teddy Bear and I show the picture.. and I would point.. is this Your MOMMA and the Baby Teddy Bear head goes UP and down telling me that YOU are.. I am wondering.. I am trying to get.. How come now.. and the Baby Teddy Bear wraps the arms around your Picture.. I think you must be a Son.. I am very confused.. so YOU are looking for Momma and the Baby Teddy Bear cries and cries and cries looking for YOU.. and I am sitting down.. what am I suppose to do.. and I start to feel my tears running down.. if you keep on crying.. how about me.. you are going to make me cry with you and I would grab the Picture
Oink Oink.. I am looking at the paper in front of me.. looking on the floor.. on the ground.. on the carpet floor.. few papers been rolled into balls.. I would try to write you a letter.. with the Pen.. and would make some mistakes and with the Pen.. there is NO eraser to erase.. so I would grab the Piece of paper.. when it has been made mistake while writing YOU a Letter.. I would roll into the Ball and it would Hit the carpet floor.. been struggling.. my Heart been struggling so Much.. I would look at the Cup.. pouring the Can of Beer.. and I would grab the Glass cup.. drinking the beer.. I can feel bubbly inside.. trying to erase YOU off my Mind.. but when I place a Piece of Paper in front of the desk.. I want to tell YOU something.. I want to write you something.. something that I needs to say that comes from My Heart.. that sinks in my Head.. and I can't just hold it in.. but Needs to tell YOU as I would write you this Letter.. when YOU been practicing for such a Long time writing.. and for a long time it becomes a part of YOU.. Like a lifestyle and changes into.. that is where I am at this Point when I would pull out a clean sheet of piece of Paper.. I know that the Truck is coming.. the Mail man.. with his truck.. He is coming to this Home.. to the Mail Box.. and I know that I am running out of time.. and I needs to put something.. Needs to tell YOU something on this Piece of Paper.. I received something from YOU.. an envelop.. a new Picture YOU put inside and I have Never seen this Picture before.. YOU are smiling.. Holding a Bear.. I am Not sure what kind of Bear is this.. do I call it the teddy Bear.. and My eyes.. I keep on looking at this new Picture.. YOU look so beautiful.. YOU look so Cute holding.. holding this small bear.. and it seems like YOU are trying to tell me something.. are YOU telling me that I am small like this Bear.. because I do not like that Small bear.. of course I am Not saying I am tall because I am Not.. but when I look at the new Picture of YOU.. holding that small bear.. it means that I wish that it be Me.. I want to hold the small bear.. and I want to hold YOU close in my arms too.. putting down that Small bear.. and to tell you that YOU are so Beautiful.. the Most Beautiful that I ever saw in my life.. that YOU are just too pretty.. just too beautiful.. even without holding that Small Bear.. just YOU in the Picture alone is enough to say.. YOU are so Beautiful.. there is NO reason to be holding that small bear.. and is this what I should Put.. should write.. to tell YOU on this Letter.. or should I say to YOU.. I been missing YOU so bad lately.. but this very Night.. I had to go into the kitchen and grab me a cold can of Beer.. and grabbed a glass cup.. Open the Cold Can of Beer and poured into the Glass cup and I would sit.. sit by the desk looking at the new Picture of YOU holding this Small Bear.. I would just imagine that be Me.. only if it be ME in your Arms.. I wonder how would that be.. or feel.. I wonder How would my Heart react when YOUR arms wraps around me and I turn to YOU and I am able to say and to tell YOU how much I love YOU.. would you please accept these words of Mine telling YOU as I look at your eyes and I would look at your ear to tell you this is what My Heart feels and How it is reacting because of your arms around Me.. How about me expressing.. can I too open my arms and wrap around YOU so that I can hear you to say what YOU feel.. how your Heart be acting when I am this close to YOU.. Please tell me.. and I would say.. because I know that I am distance from YOU.. I feel like this Longing keeps growing as I keep on missing YOU.. so I had to drink.. grabbing the Glass CUP.. pouring the Cold Can of Beer and I would drink it down.. as I would sit by the desk.. LOOKING at the new Picture of YOU holding this small bear.. with a big smile.. I wonder How the person.. the One who is holding that camera.. if it was a MAN behind the camera.. of course If I was the One who was behind the Camera who had to take this Picture.. My Body would freeze as I would stand still.. LOOKING through the lens of this Camera.. My Heart be frozen looking at YOU because.. In my Mind.. I will say and tell YOU.. YOU will hear me say to YOU.. YOU are so Beautiful.. as My Heart would be crying inside telling me.. WHY are you so Beautiful.. YOU are the most Beautiful My eyes would ever see.. and trying to focus.. taking the picture would be so hard on my part because what HAPPENS after.. what happens when YOU leave.. YOU would leave a Print in my Heart.. in my Head.. just like when I am looking at this New Picture of YOU holding this Small Bear.. it blows my mind into pieces.. I would try to breathe hard.. because YOU are so Beautiful.. leaving me puzzled.. and confused of.. my eyes would say.. Like an Angel YOU are.. like an Angel who went missing and NOW I found you here on earth.. NOW I am looking at you through this Picture.. I am still trying to write YOU something.. as my mind goes off.. and when I needs to put it on the Paper.. and I am thinking more than what I should put.. to Write to tell YOU.. and I would stay Put.. sitting.. holding this Pen.. and Looking at this Clean sheet of Piece of paper.. I would turn to LOOK at the Wall.. the Clock and I see that the Time is running Out.. the Mail Man with his Truck is going to be here soon.. But all I could find is rolls of balls of papers on the floor.. with One Piece of paper on top of the desk.. I am going Off here and there as I am thinking of YOU.. what to say.. what to put.. what to write with this Pen on this Paper.. I look at the Glass CUP.. the COLD CAN OF BEER.. half full.. so I would pour the can of beer.. the rest into the Glass CUP.. I would grab the Glass CUP and I would drink it UP.. I can feel this fuzzy feeling.. feeling a Little warm in my face.. But.. I look at the Paper that is in front of me.. I have Not written any thing yet.. what if YOU are waiting for this Letter ON the Other side.. what if I can't finish this Letter tonight and it can't reach YOU.. would you be there wondering if this Letter gets to YOU.. or you just don't care at all.. as I put my Head to look at the Piece of Clean paper.. holding this Pen I would write to tell YOU this.. I just drank this Cold can of Beer.. I bought it at this One store that is close to my House.. of course I was tempted because MY Heart.. My Head.. I would think of YOU.. few days ago the Truck.. with the MAIL MAN who drove this truck came.. and He told me he had something for Me and gave me this envelop.. and the MAIL MAN smiled as HE took off.. I opened the envelop to find a Picture.. when I saw this picture.. a new Picture of YOU.. the smile gave it all.. and I would see your Arms around this Small Bear.. I looked at it.. and I felt something in my Heart telling me.. YOU are trying to tell me something.. but I was Not sure what YOU are trying to say.. it is YOU who gave me this Picture.. so I know that YOU had to put thoughts into before YOU would send it to this House.. I went HOME.. this Picture.. YOU were sending me a Message that It really never got to me before.. and I just knew.. I have Not written YOU Letters for awhile.. I was dealing with what if YOU did Not want to receive the Letters any more.. so I would stop writing you a Letter.. I would walk alone.. LOOKING out side.. staring at the MOON as I would stop.. and I kept on missing YOU.. I wanted to say something.. wanted to tell YOU.. to write to YOU but what If you did Not want any more letters.. as I would start to think this way.. I would LOOK UP at the MOON.. started to cry.. saying.. what If YOU did not want me to write YOU Letters any more.. then what About my Heart.. what about Me.. what would happen to my Heart which it gives me this drive to tell YOU HOW much I love YOU.. and when I started to let go and stopped writing you letters.. I would walk Out to LOOK at the MOON.. I would look UP and I would start to cry looking at the MOON.. I would see the Truck passing By.. few days goes by.. before the Mail MAN with his truck comes to stop by the Mail Box.. I would be in the room.. and I would be sitting.. I would look through the window of the room.. seeing the Truck stops and It would pass by putting something in the Mail Box.. as few days would go by and I stopped writing you Letters.. it was the Night stood.. the Truck stopped.. the MAIL MAN looks at me.. asking about the Letters to give to YOU.. I told the MAIL MAN that I have stopped writing.. and that is when HE gave me this One envelope.. when I saw the New Picture.. YOU were holding a Small Bear with a Smile.. I knew in my Heart.. I needs to tell YOU something.. I needs to speak what is IN my thoughts.. what is IN my Head my Heart.. Now I am telling YOU.. that I know that I go missing.. I ache in pains when I can't tell YOU through writing YOU Letters because this is the Only way for YOU to know and understand what is going ON IN MY Heart.. the Night I saw the Mail man with his Truck.. I was Looking UP at the MOON.. asking what should I do.. am I suppose to end this way without ever knowing what is in your Heart.. and I asked the MOON to help me.. that is when I saw the Truck and the Mail Man inside giving me the envelop with Your New Picture.. as I am looking at the Glass cup.. I have NO more Cold Can of beer because I bought and started to drink.. there was a lot of cold cans of Beers inside the fringe.. this is the last one and Now.. there is NONE because I was dealing with so Much pain of missing YOU.. but as I saw this New Picture of YOU.. holding this small Bear.. I remember I send this Small bear to YOU giving it as the gift and that is when I knew your Heart.. Now I have the courage to tell you through this Letter How much I love YOU and How much I miss YOU.. but also knowing that I can continue to write and tell YOU through many more letters.. I never stopped loving YOU.. even this very Night
MAH MAH.. I walk out the room.. Pulling out the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I just can't stop.. I been thinking of YOU a lot lately.. and I needs to go see YOU.. but How.. and as I am standing out.. I would turn to the Left.. I see the Horse.. and it belongs to the Older Man who teaches me.. maybe this time.. and I would look at the Art sketch paper.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. YOU know that YOU may Not see me.. but I will be at the Palace.. I will only be like a Shadow.. like the wind.. YOU can't see Me.. but YOU know that I am there.. knowing because I love YOU.. and I would Fold the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU in my Back.. and I would walk.. I stop by the Horse.. and I would get back on this Black Horse.. I would hit the Horse likely and the Horse starts to RUN.. as I am riding on the Back of the Horse.. feeling the Wind in my face as the Horse keeps On running down the Road.. all I can think of is YOU.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even though I may not be close.. even though you may Not see Me.. I know that as long as I can see YOU.. just seeing YOU from a Far is all I can ask for.. even though I may Not be able to say or tell YOU what My Heart truly feels or expresses to YOU.. as Long as my eyes sees that YOU are doing good.. that is ALL I am asking for.. the Horse keeps On running down the road.. all through the Day.. I see this Horse.. this Black Horse keeps on going.. it feels Like me.. Just cannot stop but keeps On going.. as I would watch the SUN Setting down.. when I look on the side.. I see the waters.. and the Horse would run slowly as it stops.. I give this Horse.. the Black Horse some rest.. I get Off the Horse.. Now.. as I would walk close to the waters.. there are group of guys by the waters.. and I would turn to look at One of the guys.. and I would stand still.. as I would pull the Art sketch paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. I just can't stop thinking of YOU.. and it is killing me inside that I can't be close to YOU.. Now.. one of the guys.. he comes closer and takes a LOOK at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and Looks at me.. and I tell Him.. Yes.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. if YOU are asking me.. I am a Low Born servant.. and I know I can't even Look at YOU.. the Crown Princess.. who am I to love the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am Not suppose to ever put my eyes on YOU.. and the penalty for getting caught is Death.. even though I know that If I break this Law.. But.. if YOU take a LOOK at me.. I am already Dead.. so I have No more fear.. I have already broken this Law and just ready to Die any time SOON.. but what can I do.. if I love YOU.. is this My fault.. How is it my fault if My Heart is the One who is causing this Kind of trouble.. this Kind of problem in my life.. I am just going what My Heart truly Needs.. and the Guy looks at me.. He works at the Palace.. and He is the Palace Guard at the Door.. and I just could Not believe.. he came just for a break with Other friends who works at the Palace.. they are all guards at the door.. and I just could Not believe.. He is going to help me to take to where YOU are.. tells me Not to tell any one because.. My Heart.. WHICH only Loves YOU.. as I would watch the waters on this Night.. I just could Not sleep.. but.. for the Longest time.. it has been so long since I saw YOU.. it is a Picture of YOU when YOU are YOUNG.. Now.. the Guy who came with his friends.. one of them had an Art Sketch Picture.. but it is the recent Picture some one drew.. and the guy's friend showed me.. as I took into my hands.. YOU just blew my Mind.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU have become so Beautiful.. when did YOU grew UP looking so Beautiful Like this.. and as I am looking at the Art sketch Paper.. the recent drawing of YOU.. My eyes could Not Help.. but my tears.. it just could NOT let it sit and I felt.. my tears just ran down as I am looking at the recent Picture.. the Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. and I am wondering.. the Guy looks at me.. even his friend Loves YOU too.. I am thinking.. I know there must be More but.. it does Not matter with me.. as the Sun starts to rise.. the Guy.. he came with three friends and Got into the Horse.. and gave me this New.. the recent Picture of YOU.. and I would walk down away from the waters.. and I get ON the Back of the Black Horse.. the four of the guys starts to ride the Horses.. as I get on the Black Horse.. I would ride this Horse following the Four Horses.. and Now.. I never knew that I am able to get this Close.. I just can't believe it.. My dreams are coming true.. How could this Be.. as the Horses would run down and the towns.. the villages are passing By.. and the two Guards by the Fortress Gates.. the Four Guards show the badges and they are able to get me Inside.. the Gates Open wide.. and the Four guards riding on the Horses.. and I am behind the Four Palace Guards following in the Black Horse.. as the Horses keeps On going and running down this road.. the path.. and it leads to the palace gates.. two Guards.. Opens the front gates.. as the FOUR PALACE GUARDS shows and lets me in with them.. and Into the back gates they go.. as the Horses all slow down.. the Guy who I first talked too.. He gets out of the Horse and He points at the Chamber on TOP.. that is where YOU are.. the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. the Other Guard tells me that YOU are not there.. that the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. is at the training ground.. and HE is the One who leads.. as I get off the Black Horse.. walking across on the Other side.. and there is the Fence.. as I walk with the Other Guard.. I would stop.. from the back.. I pull out the Recent.. Art sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. as grown.. I just can't believe you have grown this Much.. so much Prettier and never imagined YOU be this Beautiful in my life.. Now the Other Guard stops and looks back.. I just can't believe.. I am going to see the Crown Princess.. do YOU not see this.. LOOK.. I am at the palace.. and going to get to see closer LOOK at the HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. it is Like a Dream come true.. I was truly worried about.. How am I going to see YOU.. I know that I have No business at the Palace. NO guards are going to let me In but.. it is a true Miracle that I am here.. and get to meet.. the Other Guard looks and smiles.. and He turns to lead the way.. as I am following HIM.. in my hands.. I am holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the RECENT drawing picture of YOU.. and I see the other Guard.. He stands by the fence.. and He stops.. and I am walking.. my Heart.. It is beating so Fast.. why do I feel so excited.. why is My Heart beating.. is it beating or dancing from the Inside.. and I stop by the Fence.. and as I let down the Art Sketch Paper.. the Recent drawing picture of YOU.. I see YOU stand there.. the Other Guard points.. that is the Crown Princess.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. who is in control in that training ground.. and I see YOU from the distance.. and there are many MEN.. the new recruits as YOU are the One over seeing and teaching them with the Stick.. and My Heart.. Are you really holding the Sword.. the way of the swordsmanship.. as YOU turn toward the Fence.. YOU see two men.. and YOU stop.. showing the form of the Arts of swordsmanship and LOOKS.. as I see YOU looking at me and the Other guard.. It just can't be.. is it really YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and of course YOU don't know who I am because it has been such a Long time I saw YOU.. and I would kneel.. two knees.. and the Other Guard kneels with me on two knees.. Head Looks on the ground.. arms forward.. and I see YOU are coming.. walking over to the Fence.. and I just can't look at YOU.. why can't I breathe.. why is it so Hard for me to breath and YOU stop by the fence.. and the Other Guard would answer YOU.. and YOU turn to LOOK at me asking me.. and I would lift UP my Head.. and I would LOOK at Your eyes.. DO YOU not remember Me.. right Now I am at the Older man's House.. he is my master my teacher at this Point.. but.. YOU don't remember Me.. and I see YOU looking and with Question.. it is me.. at the Garden.. when YOU came Long ago.. when we were younger.. and my Father who was the Head over the servants.. who served the King but was servant to the CROWN PRINCESS.. which is YOU.. and my Hand went back to Pull out the Art sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. and I lifted it UP before Your eyes and I see your hands grab hold unto.. DO YOU not remember this Picture.. this Art sketch paper.. the drawing of YOU.. when we were little.. before YOU left.. I asked a Boy.. and HE had to get your Permission.. and YOU allowed that BOY to draw YOU and the Boy would give me this Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. the boy say.. I am good to have this Picture.. the Art Sketch paper.. this drawing picture of YOU.. by the tree.. before YOU told me that YOU could never come back to the Garden.. that WHEN I grew to be older.. for YOU to know.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU told me to bring this to YOU so that YOU will remember who I am.. and it was YOU who allowed me to have this.. to keep this.. that one day when I come to this palace.. when I bring this to show YOU who I am.. YOU will know that it was ME.. the lowly born servant at the garden who never stopped Loving YOU.. I came all the way just to tell YOU that I have grown.. and YES.. that I am going to enter the king's service and to Be a Palace Guard.. so that I can come close to YOU.. to protect YOU and to defend this nation.. I told you this when I was little.. when I was young.. I told YOU.. before YOU left for good.. I told YOU I promise I will come
MAH MAH.. Would pull the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. it is when YOU were Little.. the Boy WHO gave it to ME.. who told me that I have the Permission from YOU.. the Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. LOOKING at the Tree.. by the Garden.. I am always thinking about the Garden because it was the first TIME.. when I saw YOU coming.. riding on the Horse.. YOU wanted to see How the Garden feels.. it was when I saw YOU there.. when I started to LOVE you at the Garden.. as I am looking at one of the new Recruit.. He looks at me and swings the WOODEN SWORD at me.. and He misses as I go back.. with the WOODEN SWORD stick I am holding.. I would swing Forward and It hits the new recruit and He falls to the Floor.. to the ground.. I am standing.. holding a stick in my hand.. Looking at the Sun rising before my eyes.. I know that I must get ready.. the Other hand pulls Out the Art Sketch paper.. it is the drawing of YOU.. I can hear my Heart beating so Fast when I look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. I am getting ready and preparing these Men.. the MEN who came to YOU.. the New recruits.. I had NO idea that YOU would put me on the front Line.. to prepare these Men.. these YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits.. WHY would you give me this Mission.. why would you give me the Permission to teach and to train these YOUNG MEN.. YOU know that I am Not that GOOD.. but Like HOW you gave me the Order and has commanded me to do so.. There are A lot of Other Generals.. the Superior before Me.. the Aged and well fought.. who are better Instructors and even YOU have the Chief Generals.. even the Great Commanders.. who has lead many victories over many wars they fought.. and I just don't understand why YOU put me in charge and gave me this KIND OF Order to do So.. I am Not even well trained.. did NOT fight many wars or has lead many soldiers to WIN many victories of Wars.. but WHY did YOU put me in Charge.. and I am looking at the Picture.. the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. as I am standing.. YOU also gave me few Men.. there are Seven of My Friends who are standing with me and with me they are standing Behind me.. I only came here.. just to be a Palace Guard.. just to guard the back door of the Palace.. Never imagined that I would come this very far.. so Close to YOU.. Only thing I ever wanted to ask of and say to YOU is how much I love YOU.. I only wanted to express deeply my Love for YOU.. never thought that I be here today.. as I am watching the Sun Rise.. before me are the tents.. and very SOON the New Recruits are going to come Out of the tents they are sleeping in and I have to begin the training for the New Big War.. as the Seven Men are behind Me.. I am looking forward.. I see the Men.. the New recruits walking Out their tents.. My tears.. two lines are falling down both eyes.. I just can't believe I have to do this.. But I am not even experienced veteran at war.. I am Not even the general.. Not even the TOP general or the Chief general.. Not even the Commander or the Great Commander.. those MEN has years of many experiences of striking and WINNING in wars.. but why did MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH choose me to do this.. there are great war veterans.. WHAT AM I suppose to teach.. what Words MUST I say.. how can I lead victories for the Next war.. and I would watch all the YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits walking Out and they all stood in the Line just waiting.. I don't know what to DO.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and I would say.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. WHY did You give me this Kind of Order.. why did YOU commanded me to train and to teach.. to instruct these YOUNG RECRUT MEN.. what if I fail trying too.. and I would put the arm down holding the Art Sketch Paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. the Closest Friend takes the Art Sketch paper in my hand.. and I turn my Head aside.. and I would look.. by the Fence.. I see YOU there.. the CROWN PRINCESS.. sitting on the Horse.. I see YOU with the BIG CROWN on your Head.. standing around are the COMMANDERS.. the Chief Generals.. the Great Commanders of War.. I see the TOP Generals behind YOU and YOU are looking at me.. and I see YOU pulling Out the Sword.. telling me that the training has Begun.. But.. something stops Me.. something stops me to go further.. I don't know what it is because these are YOUR new recruits.. these are Men that came here for YOU.. to Fight for the Next war.. to Fight for the Next Battle Field.. these are the MEN who are going to Die if they are NOT trained right.. who came to protect and to defend YOU.. for the Nation and for YOU to be their QUEEN.. even though YOU are the Crown Princess right Now.. what am I doing right Now.. I would fall down on both Knees.. and I put my arm up forward and I would Lower my Head before YOU.. and I see you pointing the Sword to me.. telling me to speak.. and I lift UP my Head and I look at YOU.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. these are YOUNG NEW MEN.. New recruits.. they are Unexperienced and has Not trained for years.. do NOT know what it is Like to fight in the Battle fields of War.. How can YOU let me be the trainer or the Instructor.. I know that I might sound so weak.. but it is the Lives that YOU are putting Under.. they have Lives and the Lives are very special and precious.. because of my Wrong.. I don't want to see the YOUNG MEN.. the New recruits to fall by the swords because of the wrong teaching or instructing.. that is why I am begging YOU to let someone else.. like the experienced and the veterans of war.. who lead men to victories to take my Place.. and I would see YOU looking at me.. but The sword.. I see the sword YOU are holding.. YOU lifted it UP higher telling me to GO.. and my Heart.. My Heart starting to beat so fast when I see YOU believe and Your Faith.. the trust YOU have.. telling me to go On.. My Heart.. starting to beat faster when I truly understood that Because I love YOU.. One thing that makes me so different is that I love YOU.. the Love that I have for YOU will never let others to fall because I love YOU.. I love YOU more and more and never stopped Loving YOU.. and I would look at YOU.. the Seven Men behind me.. they all fall on their two knees.. Arms UP forward and Heads all Lower before YOU.. and I see YOU still holding the Sword UP High.. and I know.. it means that Is it.. so I turn my Head.. LOOKING at the YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits.. and I know that these are YOUR MEN.. these are the defenders.. who are going to Protect YOU with Me.. and Yes.. NO ONE is going to stop us from trying Our Best.. I know that if I love YOU.. I will do whatever it takes to make YOUR MEN stronger.. make them more wiser and BE ready to walk into the War.. I Hear more voices and I turn the Other way.. where YOU are at.. I see More New Young Men.. More new recruits wants to join in the Military force.. and I have never seen such a Large Number of gathered.. the Guard at the gate by the Fence Opens and More YOUNG NEW RECRUITS.. who has passed the exam all runs Into the join the Camp.. the training ground.. and they stand in the back of the Line.. and I stand there looking at these Unprepared men.. I must.. wiping my tears from my eyes.. I must help them.. and I turn to LOOK at YOU.. ARM UP and Head lowers.. Your Sword Points to Me again and I would lift up my head and I would say to YOU.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I just wanted to say Thank YOU.. If you are asking why.. I remember I was by the Fence.. DO you not remember.. I was by the Fence waiting for the Chance.. there was a Guard telling me that I could Not come inside.. I had the Letter.. and the Older MAN who was the Instructor.. who was the One to teach me.. after I lost my Father.. I have fallen into great depression.. crying IN the Night.. and Just wanted to Give UP on life.. I remember the Only HOPE was go to YOU.. I walked for many days with out FOOD or Water.. did Not see the Winter and the great blizzard came and swept me away.. at that Moment I thought I was going to die.. I only thought of YOU.. and Kept on walking through the SNOW until I just could not walk any more and fell in the snow.. I wanted to cry.. as I was laying on the snow.. all I could think is YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. just to go and to see YOU.. before I die.. at least to tell YOU how much I love YOU and I closed two eyes.. I woke UP and I only called Out to YOU.. wanting to be with YOU.. wanting to get close to YOU.. I was meant to die and said.. I am going to die any ways.. better to just die in the SNOW but.. I did Not die.. after waking UP in a Home.. the Older MAN started to teach me.. gave me an instruction and started to teach me the Art of Swordsmanship.. and He final gave me a Letter.. and Placed a Stamp saying I can go to the Camp.. the Guard by the Table told me I can go inside.. Large LINE to wait.. and It took me many days waiting in the Line and when It came to Me.. I was standing by the Fence.. the Guard who was by the gates told me I can't come in.. That day was the last day and I remember I saw YOU.. YOU came.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. YOU stood with the Generals.. the TOP.. the CHIEF and the COMMANDERS.. Looking at the New Recruits who were the YOUNG MEN at that TIME.. I remember YOU turn your Head.. and as I was turning away leaving.. I heard you which it stopped me.. MAH MAH.. YOU did Not recognize me who was at the Garden.. but.. YOU stopped me as YOU wanted to see the Letter.. My Heart.. it started to beat again.. this was the Only way.. this was the Only road and I turn around to face YOU
MAH MAH.. Me down because LOOK.. I am still alive and well.. as I saw YOU and walking along side and I stopped and it made you stop and I would say to YOU.. I love YOU MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I love you and I would walk way back in the line with Many New Young Men who were recruits.. as I am LOOKING at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. I remember still.. even this very day My Heart never changed.. because I still Love YOU.. both hands holding the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. this One has never been torn.. because I kept it safe.. close to My Heart.. and I would lift UP my Head.. I am LOOKING at YOU.. as YOU are sitting on the Horse.. with the White Dress.. your Sword still pointing direct at Me.. and I would say.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I have never stopped Loving YOU because I know that STILL at this Moment.. I still Love YOU and Yes.. I will take orders.. your Commands seriously and help rebuild Your Forces.. make them into warriors who will Fight for YOU.. who will protect YOU and defend this Nation because.. the Day I was rejected was the Day I saw YOU and that DAY was when YOU let me In.. I just wanted to tell YOU.. Crown Princess.. thank YOU for giving me the Chance to be a soldier who can protect and defend YOU and this Nation.. as I grab the stick.. putting the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU on the ground.. I get UP.. and the Seven Men who are behind me.. they are all get UP.. Arms stretch forward and the Heads all lower to YOU.. I would grab the stick.. the Seven MEN stays behind.. and I would walk down by myself.. and I would stand.. as One YOUNG MEN recruit walks Out.. He has the Stick in his Hand.. and I would shout.. to see How well does this YOUNG MAN can fight.. and I would turn to LOOK at HIM.. I would remember.. when I was at the Older Man's House.. In the ROOM.. I would be sitting Alone.. Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. I would be looking at YOU through that.. I would be asking.. I would be saying.. MAH MAH.. WHY do I keep on missing YOU.. I am trying to leave this Place.. I am trying so hard to leave.. so that I can be with YOU.. be close to YOU.. but I feel like I can't.. looking at this Picture.. this drawing picture of YOU.. I keep on missing YOU.. I needs to be with YOU.. and I can hear the DOOR.. it opens behind me.. and the Loud thunder and it is raining Hard out side.. the Older Man.. the teacher.. grabs my Back shirt.. my both hands opens to release the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU and I let it go.. I feel the Pull from the back and He yanks Me out of the room and I fall Out side.. I just can't believe I am out side sitting as I am getting hit by the rain.. it is pouring down On me because it is raining so Hard.. I stood and sitting.. crying because I am missing YOU.. I want to go where YOU are.. It is aching and Pain in me.. I want to be where YOU at.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. when can I see YOU and be close to YOU.. I needs to go to YOU.. and a stick falls to the ground next to Me.. I felt so Lonely at One Point.. at the Lowest of My Life and It was Only YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. It was Only YOU.. I cried when I saw YOU gone.. I remember watching YOU leave.. Sitting on the Horse.. I kept on calling Out to YOU.. But it was one of the Servants who took Me.. and Told me that I just could Not go.. I was reaching Out both arms.. shouting Out.. as the Horse was leaving.. in the Garden I felt so Alone.. crying in the dark.. I just could Not believe that YOU were gone.. I stood alone.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. I just could Not stop.. But kept calling Out to YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. I would watch the Moon come UP before Me.. and I would shout with the Loud Voice.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I am going to YOU.. very soon I will go to YOU.. when I heard the News.. and MY father died.. and came to the Garden.. I saw His body and with the servants.. We would bury my father.. I just could Not take this kind of Pain any More.. as I sat that night.. My Father was gone.. my Mother died when I was very young.. and even whom I love.. which Is you.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. even YOU.. I had to watch YOU leave me.. and Now.. there was NO reason for me to be at the Garden any more.. everything was Gone.. and whoever came to the Garden.. they were all taken away from me.. when I felt the Most lonely in my life.. the Only thing that remained close to my Heart.. It was the Art sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I would unfold and I would take a Look at YOU.. talking to the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing of YOU.. I would say.. Is it okay if I go to YOU.. what If YOU do Not want me to be near.. But there is nothing else.. there is NO ONE else I can Love.. but Only YOU I truly Love.. Please.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. would you let me get close to YOU.. I needs to tell YOU something.. packing One bag I would carry in my back.. I would look at the Garden One last time.. and I cried looking at my Father's grave and I would leave.. telling that I am Not going to ever come back.. too many people who I loved are gone before me.. My Heart is broken already.. I don't need my Hear to break again.. so I left the Garden.. wanting to start a new Life.. and I was thinking of the Palace.. Your Kingdom.. wondering if I could enter.. since I knew who YOU were.. maybe I be your servant.. I be your slave then.. so I have set my eyes on Your Kingdom.. I wanted to get close to YOU.. walking through the Day.. I would Not eat.. not much Out in the desert.. so I had to stay hungry for few days.. I would stop for rest at Night.. LOOKING at the stars in the sky.. Looking at the Moon.. and I would unfold the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I would Kiss the paper and say.. MAH MAH.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I will see you soon.. since I have No other place to Go.. I have made UP my Mind.. that I will come to YOU instead.. so I would take some rest.. thinking of YOU.. missing YOU.. sitting on rocks.. watching the Night passes by.. LOOKING at the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. early in the morning.. before the Sun sets.. I would start the Walk.. I have NO other place to go.. but I only wanted to see YOU.. to tell YOU that I would do anything to be close to YOU.. I be a servant.. Your Slave if YOU want me too.. so I started this journey to go to YOU.. did Not think that the winter storm was coming.. and It got so Cold.. I saw the snow flakes falling from the sky and dropping to freezing cold.. I begin to think about Death.. Maybe I won't make it after.. I am suppose to die here instead.. But I want to tell YOU something before I die.. I have to tell YOU one more time.. and I kept on walking through the freezing cold.. I would shiver and I would cry.. is it suppose to end like this.. that I always wanted to go to the Palace.. always dreamed of being close to YOU and to Love YOU.. even though YOU do not have to tell me anything.. I am Not asking YOU to tell me.. until you know in your Heart that YOU do.. if YOU truly love Me.. I believe Dreams will come true.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. If I die right here.. will YOU know that I never stopped believed in love.. I have never stopped believe that One day.. something Can happen.. and the lack of Food and the energy and the coldness of the air.. I just could Not continue to walk further so I fell on the ground.. and ALL I can hear is.. and ALL I wanted to tell YOU is that I love YOU.. that I never gave UP on love.. I truly feel it in my heart.. don't YOU know that I loved YOU and still do.. and I saw my tears ran down as I would close both eyes.. I would hear some noises.. and my two eyes opens.. and I am laying on the ground.. I turn my head too look.. an Older man was sitting.. reading pages of something and looks at Me.. I could Not believe that I did Not die.. But.. I heard.. it is the WILL to Live.. because I know that IN my Heart.. I am truly determined to Love YOU.. My WILL to Live so that I can Love YOU is what I got.. as I would hear.. I would be calling Out to YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. PRINCESS.. CROWN PRINCESS.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and even when I was on His back.. I would be calling Out to YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. that I needs to go to you.. and too see YOU.. and as I would be healing from the cold.. and the Low of energy cause of the lack of food.. the Older man became my teacher.. telling me that I can't go Now.. that I needed to wait and give some time.. and He was going to teach me the Art of War.. the Art of swordsmanship.. and Saw my Heart.. my Dreams of Loving YOU.. and to be protecting the Nation YOU were going to create.. and I would sit.. and I wanted to tell Him.. why.. and next to me is the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing picture of YOU.. I wanted to tell this Older man.. I should just go.. and just go to YOU before it is just too Late.. but One thing that the Master told me is this.. if I truly love YOU.. I will be a Man.. a warrior who can Protect YOU.. Like a real MAN who fights.. and Just like my Dead father.. he was like the second father I really needed.. I would turn.. Looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. But My Heart misses YOU.. what if I can't take this missing away.. I know that I miss YOU so much right Now.. what do I do when my Heart feels like it has been cut with a knife.. and My Heart right Now feels like bleeding to death.. and I wanted to say.. I should of been left to die instead because I knew I was going to die anyways.. but I looked at the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. and I would take a Look and would say.. MAH MAH.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. CROWN PRINCESS.. YOU do not know
I am looking at the Piano.. as I would walk into the room.. I look at your Picture.. wishing that YOU can see what I just got.. even though YOU may be far from Me.. at least send me Your Heart.. if I can have your Heart.. I will keep Your Heart safe here with Me.. looking at the Empty Glass jar.. I would Place the Empty Glass Jar on the TOP of the Piano.. and I wish that I can Place your Heart inside this Empty Glass Jar.. even though YOU are far.. Knowing and Looking at your Heart.. I know that YOUR HEART is close with me.. I pull up the Piano Chair closer to the Piano.. and I would sit on the chair.. only if I can get You here.. will YOU ever come closer to Me.. How do I get you closer to Me.. and I would look at the key bars of the Piano.. But.. I can't play the tune.. I can't even sing with my voice.. just sitting here.. it seems like it be better if I was Not here at the first Place.. But.. I can write YOU a Letter.. I know that I can tell YOU how much I miss YOU.. I can tell YOU with the Words.. with the Lips.. with my voice.. What I truly feel deep inside my Heart.. I put all my time when I grab the Pencil.. when I grab the paper.. and I grab the piece of paper.. I know that for sure I can write and tell you.. How I feel.. How it feels to be me here on the Other side.. as long as the Letter is able to get to YOU.. will you please receive the Letters.. will you please unfold the piece of Paper which be folded when I give it to YOU.. will you please open your Heart.. hear the words of Mine that comes from my Heart.. how much I love YOU.. How much I adore YOU and admire YOU and How much I miss YOU too.. you are wondering.. what is it about the Piano.. why am I bringing UP the word Piano to YOU if I can't sing.. or can't play tunes of the keys of the piano to bring Music alive.. why am I telling YOU or sharing you about the Piano.. because I want YOU to know.. I want to Place Your Heart.. I want to place your Heart on this Empty Glass Jar.. which is on top of the Piano.. so that when I look at Your Heart.. I can learn How to play the Piano.. it make take some time for me to Know How to Play.. but when I look at your Heart.. when I look at your Heart inside the empty glass jar.. I would look at your Heart.. it may inspire me to say I love you in a way YOU never felt before.. I would think of many different ways to tell YOU.. that I love YOU and that I want to say to Your Heart first.. I would like to tell Your Heart first so that YOU can truly trust me with Your Precious Heart.. without any trust.. there is NO way I can love YOU where YOU are able to love me back One day.. that is why I need Your Heart first with Me.. I remember when I was Young.. my Mother wanted me to Learn something new.. and bought a Piano for Me.. I wanted to learn something New.. wanted to tell a story through but when my Mother bought the Piano.. it was just too complicated for me to learn.. I would watch the Teacher come.. and she would play on the Piano.. I wish that I learned at that time because Now.. when I look at you.. I would LOOK at your Picture.. and I would say WOW.. I would say YOU are so Beautiful.. I would stand by the Piano and say.. YOU are as beautiful like the Piano because Now.. I want to play and make a Music for YOU.. I want to tell YOU that I love YOU.. I want to tell YOU MORE.. I want to step Out of the comfort zone and tell YOU what YOU means to me.. when ever I look at you.. through the Picture.. I would regret when I look at the Piano sitting in the Room.. because.. Now I want to play and make music so that I can tell YOU.. even though I may Not be able to sing YOU a SONG.. I would bring a recorder.. and would record my voice.. as my fingers would press on the key bars of the Piano.. I can at least speak to the recorder.. but before I would play on the Piano making Music to come alive.. I would be sitting in my bed room.. taking Out the Piece of paper.. I would write YOU a Letter first.. telling YOU my Heart.. speaking from my Heart.. and writing that comes from My Heart to let YOU know.. the Letter is Not the Only way I can tell YOU my Heart.. I would sit on the Piano Chair.. regretting because I did Not learn at that time.. I had the chance to learn when I was young.. but I only watched the teacher play.. looking at her back as she played and making Music.. pressing the Key bars.. to the sound of my ears it tingled because she Played so well.. if I only learned from that teacher.. only if I took the time to be more serious about learning the keys.. composing and writing the music Notes.. the keys.. I wonder what could of happened Now.. if I learned at that time.. which My Mother would say.. It be wise to learn this kind of instrument because when it is gone.. YOU will regret it when TIME passes by.. I would stand by the Piano.. I would sit on the Piano Chair.. looking at the key bars.. pressing the key bars.. only sounds but weird sounds will hit.. and I feel so terrible Not because I wish that I learned.. so that I can play for YOU.. so that I can tell YOU.. there is Much more ways to Tell YOU how much I love YOU.. I would even take the Piano out side.. even looking at the MOON in the Night.. when I miss YOU.. when I know that YOU are so Far away and I keep on missing YOU.. at least.. with tears in my eyes of Not able to hold YOU.. unable to be close to YOU and It hurts some nights.. I can play the Piano in the Night.. telling YOU.. looking UP at the MOON.. as my fingers hits the Key bars bringing music.. I would be pulling Out the Letter that is written for YOU and tell YOU a story of How much I love YOU.. if the neighbors would come out telling me about the Noises.. I would turn to that person and say.. DID YOU ever miss someone.. when it hurts.. it just hurts so much when YOU start missing.. I needs to say.. I needs to tell YOU this Heart of Mine.. there are times that it feels so painful.. it hurts.. I see tear drops out of my eyes.. so to take this anger out of My Heart for Missing YOU.. I needs to play YOU a SONG.. this Piano is my friend.. helps me to express what I feel when I am dealing with so Much sorrow in me.. that I love YOU but I miss YOU more.. why.. why do you keep on making me feel this way.. when YOU are so far off.. what am I suppose to do when I miss YOU.. and only thing that I can do is taking out the Picture.. the only thing I can do is pull the Picture out of my pocket.. and LOOK at YOU.. do YOU know How it feels when YOU just can't do nothing.. but only thing I can do is look at you in this Picture.. but I needs to tell YOU that I needs to be with YOU.. I needs to get this Off my Chest.. Off my Heart that I needs to be with YOU.. and it hurts me so much because I am dying right Now without YOU in my life.. and to keep my Anger and this pain.. this suffering away.. if I look at the Piano.. and I am able to pull the Piano chair closer.. and able to play the tunes of the Piano pressing on the key bars.. I know that I can tell YOU what I have written.. pressing the recorder.. as I am in the ROOM.. I would open up my Heart and say.. I miss YOU.. I am not sure why I am missing YOU so much right Now.. and I be asking.. do YOU ever feel the same as I do.. I don't want to hear the answer that is going to KILL me up inside but to ask YOU.. DO YOU miss me the way I do.. I have brought the Piano Out side.. the neighbors are telling me to be quiet and they needs to sleep.. but when I am sitting Out side.. with the Piano and the Chair.. I am able to look UP at the MOON and let the Moon hear my Voice.. asking the MOON.. do YOU hear me tonight.. even though I have the Recorder recording my Voice what I AM saying as the Letter is in front so that I can read it out Loud.. with tears of sorrow.. with My Heart be hurting.. I am missing YOU.. I am missing YOU so much right Now that I need YOU here.. can YOU Hear me.. I am out side.. can YOU hear the Piano Playing.. it is Me who is playing this Piano so that YOU can hear Me.. so that YOU know what I am doing right Now.. I want YOU to hear me.. that is why I have decided to buy another Piano.. a smaller where I can take it out side so that YOU can hear the key bars.. when you hear the sound of the Music coming out of the Piano.. YOU know that It is me.. which I am telling YOU.. I am hurting right Now.. I miss YOU right Now.. where are YOU so that I can tell YOU my Heart.. Please come Out.. come Out and hear this Piano playing.. making the Music to come alive.. only if YOU knew this Heart of Mine.. every time I am sad.. every time I feel this Pain.. every time I want to cry.. when I be missing YOU.. I will be playing the Piano out side.. where if YOU are able to see the MOON on the Other side.. YOU can hear me.. that I am crying right Now.. I am missing YOU right Now.. so you know that it is me on the Other side looking for YOU.. I am missing YOU.. I am missing YOU because YOU are so far away.. where are YOU.. Please tell me so that I know that How you be doing.. tell me so that I can go to YOU like the wind.. as I am standing.. I am looking at the Piano in the room.. I have the letter in my hand and On the Other hand I have your Picture.. thinking of YOU.. and just loving YOU even though I am not sure if I would ever meet YOU.. will I ever see YOU.. can YOU Please tell me that I can see YOU soon.. or do YOU want me to pull the Piano.. the smaller Piano and walk out side.. do YOU want to hear me playing.. when I play on this Piano.. just please remember I am wailing and I am crying on the Other side.. I am in the Room.. Looking out the window.. I see the rain showering down.. I would like to walk in the rain.. but it be nice If I take this Piano with Me.. I have written YOU another Letter.. I wonder if YOU can Hear Me Now.. I know that just standing Out alone.. and Turning to LOOK up.. LOOKING at the Moon and just speaking to the MOON.. that Moon does Not Hear Me
MAH MAH.. Will let YOU know about this journey How I came to be.. YOU know that I love YOU right.. and I would start to write YOU a Letter.. Like a Diary on paper.. and started to share.. putting into a BOX that the Older MAN gave me.. Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of You.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. and every night.. I would go Out.. LOOKING at the MOON.. and I would pull out and unfold the Art sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU and I would look at YOU.. I would walk into this One room that was given to me to sleep.. and I would write YOU.. each Night I would write as I would put this Letter into the Box.. knowing that One day.. some day SOON I will see YOU and I am going to give you the Box.. with the FULL of letters.. telling YOU what I been through those days when I felt alone.. when I felt very lonely and just kept on Missing YOU.. I would cry some nights.. that I told myself.. the main reason WHY I left the garden in the first Place is so that I can go to YOU.. and show YOU that I have come long ways just to be close to YOU.. but Now.. I feel like I am stuck here.. what am I suppose to do when I want to go see YOU.. and I would bump heads with the older man who told me to be patient.. to wait.. to wait until.. but I just wanted to go to see YOU.. How Long must I wait.. what if.. I would go out side into the Night.. and Unfold the Art sketch paper.. the drawing picture of YOU and say.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. How long must I stay here.. I don't want to stay here for long because I want to go see YOU.. but I can't let go of my Dreams.. I have made a promise that I wanted to be a real MAN for YOU.. a WARRIOR and a Man who holds the sword so that I can fight to Protect Your Nation.. I want to also be Your Fighter who will never backs UP any fights that presses On.. but I am still having this Heart of Mine.. I want to see YOU.. see YOU how much YOU have grown.. I want to tell YOU.. for a Long time.. How I been loving YOU since.. and still I just can't let go of Loving YOU.. what do I do WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. can YOU please tell me what I must do.. because even for loving YOU seems like a fight for my Life.. tell me which way I must turn.. so that I can go.. help me to know.. and I would stand alone.. looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing picture of YOU.. and I would hear foot steps and goes back into.. when I turn back to Look.. I know that It was the older man.. the Teacher.. the Master who was there.. knowing How much I love YOU.. He told me that I have just too of a BIG dream.. and I told him.. I only live Once and I can only love Once too.. so I am going to love as Much as I can if it means One shot.. it is to Love my crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. as I would take a look.. and I would think about the Box.. and Putting One letter after another into the Box and it would be full of letters I would write to YOU.. telling YOU my Heart.. how each day counted and meant for something because I wanted to see YOU.. I wanted to be with YOU.. close to YOU to tell YOU.. I have this One Box.. can I show you this One Box and If you open this One Box.. it be many letters.. I was aching.. in pains I would tell YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Crown Princess.. How much I missed YOU.. and what it felt like because I could not go to YOU Yet.. how delaying and spending more time with this teacher.. How I just did Not want to stay long because it seemed like He wanted me to stay there for a Long time instead.. But finally.. the day comes WHEN HE gives me a paper.. and HE puts HIs name and says that if I can take this Letter.. I am able to go into the opening of the Palace.. I waited for a Long time.. I waited for more than eight years.. that much time has passed by since.. and Now.. the paper is in my hands and I am allowed to go and be a part.. Crown Princess.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I always wanted to be a part of Your Dreams.. to be a Part of Your Nation which YOU are building.. and to go see YOU.. and a Friend.. close friend of Mine also is coming with Me.. to tell you that I love YOU and that I have never forgotten to tell YOU still I love YOU..I am Looking Up at the Moon.. the Seven Men are behind Me on Watch Guard.. the New Recruits are in the tents and they are all sleeping.. I would unroll the Paper.. the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. my hand runs over.. Looking at How Beautiful YOU are.. I have Never seen such a Great Beauty.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. I know that I am getting the New Recruits.. the New Young Men.. So many people are waiting.. the Fences are blocking More New Recruits.. and I am Not sure where all these YOUNG MEN came from.. but.. Many wants to Join this Military Arts.. wants to join the Circle.. But it is YOU.. CROWN PRINCESS.. these are YOUR YOUNG MEN.. the New Recruits who are.. and as I am Looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture of YOU.. I only saw you this Morning.. watching More YOUNG MEN.. the New RECRUITS.. By the Fences.. trying to get in.. but the Fences would Not let them Pass through.. as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. the training will start when the early Morning.. when the Sun comes UP.. I am going to prepare these YOUNG NEW RECRUITS.. they are going to come to this training Ground.. the Ones who passed the examinations and now.. ready to pick UP the WOODEN SWORD STICKS.. and I would be turning Back.. Looking at the Seven Men.. the friends of Mine.. and they all look at me with a SMILE.. and I turn to LOOK UP.. looking at the MOON.. Just thinking of YOU.. HOW far I came.. and How it is because I love YOU.. I never stopped Loving YOU and that is the Driving force behind of Never giving UP Hope.. it is because I love YOU.. I wish that WANGSEJABI MAH MAH knows this Heart of Mine.. that I would see.. A Messenger comes.. I hear the Horse running.. and the Horse stops.. the Messenger gets Down from the Horse and LOOKS at me and the Seven Men.. He shows me a Scroll.. and the Enemies are going to Come Back again.. and they want to fight again for this War.. it is Not Finished Yet.. and the Messenger tells me.. get the YOUNG MEN RECRUITS also ready for the war.. I watch the Messenger gets ON the Horse and He leaves out of sight.. as I am thinking about Another War.. I am Not sure if I will make this One alive.. But.. For YOU.. HWANGTAEJABI MAH MAH.. we Must Win for YOU.. so that YOU WILL BE our QUEEN.. and to make this Nation stronger and the People.. the New Recruits stronger to protect YOU.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. DO YOU remember.. When I first came.. and I am looking at the Art Sketch Paper.. the Picture.. as I am speaking looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture.. drawing picture of YOU.. and I would say to your Drawing Picture.. DO YOU NOT remember when I first came to the Training Ground.. I wanted to come.. I wanted to be the part of the Military Arts.. but My Heart.. I always believed that I will meet YOU one day SOON.. that I get to show YOU my Face.. I get to draw Near.. to get closer to YOU.. I remember it was in a Night like this.. and as I turn to LOOK UP at the MOON.. I would go back to the Good Ole Days.. I am sitting in the ROOM.. with the Closet Friend.. I am looking at the Art Sketch paper.. the Picture drawing of YOU.. and I would smile.. I will see YOU soon.. WANGSEJABI MAH MAH.. Please be Patient and wait.. I know that I be meeting you so SOON.. I lost my Father.. but there was a Older MAN who became Like a Father.. taught me the Arts of Swordsmanship.. and has told me.. it is TIME for me to enter the training Camp.. the Training Ground.. and Gave me a Letter.. with the Stamp.. I would be looking at the Letter.. and His Mark of stamp.. on the Other Hand is the Art Sketch paper.. the Drawing Picture of YOU.. I can't believe this Teacher gave me this Stamp Letter.. which Allows me to go direct into the Training Ground.. and I know.. the Next day.. Many are going to enter the training Ground.. or the Camp which YOU MUST pass in the Camp to go into the Ground.. but This Letter.. with the Stamp.. for Many Years.. I have been waiting for this day to Come.. for Many Years.. I would be coming Out side.. and I would LOOK UP to the MOON.. and I would ask.. I will be there very SOON.. I know that the distance between YOU and I seems a LONG WAY.. but I believe.. I know.. why.. because I know my Heart.. My Heart which Loves YOU.. I have Never stopped thinking of YOU.. I have never stopped Loving YOU.. YOU may Not know It.. when YOU LOOK at the distance between YOU and the MOON.. it is very Far to touch that MOON.. but I know.. Because I love YOU.. it does Not seems so Far any more.. as Long as I believe and I know.. I will be seeing YOU SOON.. I will be meeting YOU so SOON.. and I would look at the Art Sketch Paper.. the drawing Picture of YOU.. the Closest friend would look at me.. but I never get tired of LOOKING at YOU.. even though the Drawing was when YOU were much more Younger Years.. I do remember that with out YOU.. I know that I can't dream of coming this Close.. dreaming of getting close to YOU but I never stopped dreaming of Us.. of We.. that One Day.. I will see you and meet YOU.. I be close to YOU that I am able to speak and tell YOU.. I love YOU.. as the Next Day Comes.. me and the Closest Friend are standing in the Line.. the Line is so Long.. too many Young Men.. waiting in the Line to either go into the Camp or to the Ground.. and My Heart is beating.. It is beating so fast because I know that I am getting Close to YOU.. I see about one Hundred Young men standing.. waiting for their Time to enter.. I am so excited.. but also.. My Heart keeps on beating just too Fast
Came to watch this again after it's realse to remember my happy time related with this song. This song made me happy and still makes me happy and obviously makes me wanna dance everytime I listen or watch it... CHUNGHA❤
Chung Ha, also wanted to say that not many talented singers can dance better than their backups. You are one of the few exceptions! So graceful and full of a happy spirit! So good, like Britney Spears and Shakira, all around skills!
