Omg - talk about dishonesty towards your partner - did you give him full disclosure when you were standing at the altar that you’re really not physically attracted to him ? That’s beneath me to think that that could actually occur
Dear Janna: Reading the Comments below sure proves that your project serves a population. I hope it doesn't prove that ALL marriages are unhappy. Gerry
Most women have over 5 previous sex partners. They can no longer bond to their husbands. This is bullshit as an explanation. The reason you need safety is because your hoe phase screwed up the intimacy center of relationships. Your past matters. Men, find women who valued their bodies.
Males generally feel entitled to women's bodies and women feel this pressure put on them since girlhood. This culture has further egged it on. Once women get married, there's all that pressure put on her even more, as if smex is a chore that needs to be done. Women need to maintain personal sovereignty and autonomy and they need to set up boundaries. Males often do things to see what they can get away with. A lot of clowns in the comments section are offended because they don't like seeing an empowered woman enjoying intimacy wth her partner without the pressure.
If you’re watching this video, it’s not because you’re in a marriage which can survive with no sexual connection. This presenter is 100% lying to you. The only marriages which survive without sex are those where BOTH partners jointly agree to let that part of things go. Surely you know better. If you are going to give yourself permission to never be sexual again then you owe it to your husband to inform him, so that he can make his own decision. You don’t get to decide that for him. Now, this doesn’t mean that he doesn’t have some fault in your broken sexuality(it IS broken, if you never want sex ever ever. Broken things can be repaired with time and love and effort, but don’t lie to yourself like the presenter lies to you). He may well have been the primary cause of your aversion, he may be an awful person or a liar or cheater or inattentive lover. In that case, you owe it to yourself to leave so you can be better off somewhere else and he can sort out his own problems - and you can see what it’s like to find someone worth loving and who loves you. Or, you may be with a great, patient, loving man. That man deserves a chance at a relationship with someone who actually cares for him - not someone who lacks the courage to endure any discomfort at all in the name of personal and intimate/interrelational growth. Stop holding him hostage to vows that you are breaking. Yes, you absolutely have the right and the power to decide how and when you will be sexual and with whom - or not. You do. It’s your body. But he’s his own person too, and whatever you believe about the sanctity and irrevocability of marriage vows, you can’t make him stay and to demand he permanently shut down his own desire and/or suffer in silence for the sake of your comfort is despicable. Let him go and find someone who knows how to want.
Is there anything to be gained by enduring discomfort? Are you perfect just the way you are? Is your husband perfect just the way he is, and is he allowed to have “needs” too? What if they conflict with your “needs”?
If you watched 80% of this and wondering what she is talking about; that's because this is an ADVERT. Lol when I got to 70% I thought she was going to suggest cuckolding
Telling your husband with words “I’m so glad I’m married to you” will be not terribly effective while you show him with your choices that his desires and feelings mean squat to you.
I’ve been through this video three times trying to find something that I can agree with. Just can’t. If you’re feeling unsafe *and* your husband hasn’t hurt you or used you or coerced you(*actually* coerced - being disappointed in your repeated rejection isn’t coercion, it’s human), the TRUTH you need to honor isn’t your feelings, your feelings don’t reflect reality. The TRUTH you need to accept is that you *are* safe. You need to work through your feelings of unsafety and come to believe the reality which is that your husband desires to please you and thinks you’re awesome. He delights in your companionship and your beauty. He doesn’t want to hurt you and in fact would be horrified to know that you feel unsafe around him. He would be insulted, as he should be. Women, stop believing your feelings when they lie to you. Do the right thing for your marriage and for *yourself* and observe reality. Do not listen to this presenter. She gets a lot right in many of her other videos but she is SO FAR OFF in this one.
Marriage and sex don’t work when BOTH partners don’t strive to be more than they are or “want” to be. Stretch a little and watch what happens when your husband sees the effort, when your wife feels the investment. This whole idea of “you’re perfect just how you are” is not helpful. Nobody is perfect, nobody is without room for growth.
Question - and this is not necessarily an accusation, just for the sake of clarification - how is it that women should have the power to define what makes the ideal man, and why then do men not have the right to define what makes the ideal woman? Aside from that, I came here after watching one of your much newer videos, looking for some context. I’m finding a lot of your earlier videos to be very agreeable, even though I suspect we would disagree on a great many things regarding gender roles, the meaning of marriage and the level of responsibility that husbands and wives have to one another. Respect and mutual service/“sacrifice“ are not at odds. I still think you’re off base about sex and how good it can be for both partners, but I very much appreciate particularly your understanding of what is an important to a man, and how much we value our wives’ approval.
NO SEX! NO POWER! Well. I believe my original comment was [disabled] but in short, woman hold sexual power over men and use this power to assert most of their dominance in society as "feminism". Equality exists only if there is [a] choice between two biological parties as a means for resource.
@@TerrelleCheers1 oh, how fascinating. Your reply seems to be visible only to me, since you replied to my comment. It does not appear in the comment thread. …shocking.
It’s true. We do love to serve and care for our wives. We love to know what you want so we can provide. Parallel to this: one big danger of the “do it all yourself” mindset is to believe that your way is the only “right” way of doing things. You will become intolerant of your spouse’s contribution because of course… he isn’t you. Consider this - your spouse folds and puts away the laundry, does the dishes and puts the kids to bed. A healthy person receives this help gratefully. Every dish she does is a dish I don’t have to, every load of laundry I handle is one she doesn’t have to, and so forth. An unhealthy(controlling or intolerant) person disdains their partner’s efforts because he didn’t fold the pants the way she would or the kids’ lights-out time was a little after he’d prefer. Recognize that you are living with another human being who isn’t you. After my own experience I have come to the conclusion that the “weaponized incompetence” buzzword of today has more to do with men giving up on pleasing their extremely demanding perfectionist wives than it has with actual laziness. And it hurts both spouses and the children.
well this is why your wife is never in the mood, shes not into it, your that wife, never cheated on my wife, cold you are to the advances of your husband. thats about 90% of married life hoping shes in the mood
Another great example of why men should avoid marriage at all costs. Imagine getting stuck with this woman for the rest of your life. Stay single lads.
This is just an excuse , if we do our part women need to do their part. You want taken care of but can’t take care of us. We stop working and paying the bills and let’s see how you react. After a tough day a man’s needs are simple, he needs some love and some dinner , not too much to ask for , a good man will handle the rest of the families needs. I can tell you in my own experience women are like children they want control and want zero accountability for their actions, it’s all about them, never about the man who gave up his life to serve you and your children. A marriage without sex is nothing more than a friendship , if my wife stops having sex with me then she can figure out how to take care of her self plain and simple. Take the stoic approach men , do not beg and don’t appear weak , she will then wonder why you don’t chase.
I try initiating so much, yet my wife has maybe in 5yrs initiated a handful of times. I have talked so much about the lack of intimacy on her part. Now I’ve completely backed off & just taking it day-by-day. I want kids & she keeps pushing it off saying we’re not financially set or got more to explore like I’m so lost.
If your safety is not safe why are you there? Doing all this is a lot to a great husband who there everyday and provides safety. Remember if your not into your husband others are watching to claim what you feel your not safe. Time its not on your side we are aging as we speak.
Ladies...You must learn how to attach feelings of safety in those times of feeling unsafe. Logic alone will not do it. A woman MUST speak out loud and reconcile the internal struggle she is facing verbally- she must let those words, from her mouth, go back into her ears before she can fully process what she is feeling and be at peace. 35 years of marriage has taught me this. Jeffrey Z. in SC
As @vonkunstler884 said: This is so toxically one-sided.. I wonder after 3+yrs since this video.. Has your husband finally grew a little manhood, and divorced you, and kick you to the curve..
This is ridiculous. Your solution to not wanting intamcy with your husband is to take control over your him and unilaterally set boundaries and conditions to give yourself what you want. Obviously, your husband's feelings, desires and wants are irrelevant. Self- entitled people should not give advice to others.
0:39 Women never blame themselves... they will always blame (gaslight) their partner though. In this case she admits she wanted to avoid her husband and even punch him in the face (say what?!) rather than make love to him and came up with "not feeling safe" as an excuse. Typical gaslighting for it makes her man think he is not normal
There's a popular saying; if you want to reduce your sex life move in together; if you want to kill your sex life get married. Women avoid intimacy with their partner once familiarity sets it. It happens gradually. First the woman sex bombs the guy into believe she desires to have sex with him all the time. The more the relationship progresses and the more she feels secure the more she will start to withdraw. The reason is that they put put an act; a facade in the beginning. It's not who they really are. They are just acting that way to get the guy to stay. The worst part is that they will come up with any excuse in the book to put the blame on the guy (gaslighting). Women have zero accountability.
I think men who are in a sexless marriage should get a divorce.These women are breaking the covenant of marriage.They are stopping you from experiencing intimacy in your life.
I don't ever feel like being intimate, because my Husband puts me down every single day. He curses me, calls me names, and threatens me...Plus, he is never romantic with me. Plus, I have major health problems. Then, he wonders why I don't want to have sex. 😢
99% of the time the man is the protector and responsible for them feeling safe, so why do they feel unsafe? I don't initiate almost anything anymore. It hurts too much to be constantly rejected. I wait patiently until she feels sorry for me and she throws me a bone (usually about once every 3 month or so). Even then I'm told it better not take too long. I can feel her skin crawl when I try to touch her. It's a bad cycle that knows no solution. This lady appears to have found a solution for them, and I pray they have, but it would never work with my situation. My wife knows how I feel and knows what we should do but it conveniently slips her mind. It's just not that important to her. She's tired, has too much to do, etc. When I slip up behind her to steal a hug, she rolls out of it very effectively. It's just like that lyric in the song by REO Speedwagon, "Time for me to Fly" when he says you've got me stealing your love away cause you never give it. I've gotten used to it since it's been over 20 years now but the loneliness is sometimes hard to live with.
One day I realized that it's not my fault that I don't have a job and sit on the couch and watch netflix all day, I realized that this is actually my wife's fault because I didn't feel financially safe around her and she didn't have and financial boundaries. So once I put financial boundaries on her and took control, I told her "I am only going to give you what I FEEL like giving you" an AMAZING thing happened: I found a great paying job and now I'm working. As an added bonus she has lost a LOT of weight, since I only feel life feeding her once or twice a month.
This is load of BS and I will urge you all to not listen to her advice at all. She is abusing her position and blackmailing her husband. If the husband do the same she will play victim and that’s not way to deal with this issue. My advice to you all. 1. Love yourself sometimes it’s difficult so let your husband love you, pamper you a little. 2. Keep clean physically, morally means do not go for porn it will make things worst. 3. Talk to your partner which the single most important thing in any relation which is also most ignored trait in bad relations. 4. Don’t share your personal feelings, thoughts and ideas with others. 5. Don’t fall for equality shid thats going on nowadays he is not your equal and you are not his both are special and unique in their own roles. 4. When you are married you are a team so it’s okay to be selfless at times.
Where did the comfort that existed before you guys got married go? Im sure you guys got to know each other really well before marriage. All spontaneous and whatnot. Amost anytime... anywhere. What happens to that energy you had when he was a stranger you where getting to know in the most intimate ways?
