I am a Certified Relationship & Certified Trauma Informed Coach with a Bsc in Psychology. I help Muslimahs heal after toxic relationships and/or avoid them all together. I have a passion for Islam and personal development. Far from perfect yet I hope you guys will join me in my journey to getting closer to Allah, through relationship, trauma healing and Islamic development videos. I hope my videos will inspire myself and others to become better people and Muslims. I am not a scholar, I am not a student of knowledge & I try to give reference whenever I mention a hadith or verse of the Quran. Like most, I am not above mistakes so if you wish to advise me with regards to any issue, I would appreciate full respect with regards to your approach in that effect. I pray that Allah accepts our efforts in his cause. Ameen.
Relationship & Mental health coaching: nafisatuakilu.com
I am 29 YO, and I hope I get married soon. Although I don't let it affect me and my parent are understanding. I pray I meet a good spouse soon. Please pray for me, I don't want to fall into a wrong man.
Just a clarification sister. A Muslim man can marry the ex-wife of his adopted son, correct? Having in mind the example of Zaynab Bint Jahsh. How does that differ from marrying the widow of your son, or your stepdaughter from a previous marriage, for example?
It’s so sad how a lot of men are getting married when they simply aren’t ready. You don’t have any income and can’t provide its haram for you to marry. 🤦🏻♀️
Women are simply a resource in 2024. So he is not earning enough, is using your body stds?!? , and thinks it's fine to marry others bc he is a man. My God . ....women are definitely 2nd class .
Spot on he thought I never find out about this 3rd party wheel I ut 150 percent into are marriage but he always chasing the grass is greener on the other side of the fence I was a very good wife and mum but he never seems the gems in me but chose to pick up a piece of gold to play with
Spot on he thought I never find out about this 3rd party wheel I ut 150 percent into are marriage but he always chasing the grass is greener on the other side of the fence I was a very good wife and mum but he never seems the gems in me but chose to pick up a piece of gold to play with
What I also notice, is that some women forget all their buondaries and overlook red flags just because the man is Muslim and practicing.. not because someone is Muslim that means that he as good values. You need to assess his values as a person as well
Maybe an older woman would want a young man. But usually men look for younger women. And why would a man marry an older woman? Because of experience?? Most men don’t want an experienced woman. Men want youth and beauty as a sign of fertility, it all boils down to biology/fitra. This is the reality, and it has always been like this. In the last 20 years we have tried to change this norm and look at the crisis we have created now. Women not marrying early and wasting their prime on education and also not willing to share a husband, then of course we will have an era of spinsterhood. As if that was not bad enough, guess what? We live in a time full of fitna and sex promoted everywhere you go, chastity is at risk being single and living in the West. And to the young Muslim ladies: Please don’t be fooled by feminism, and marry early so you don’t make the same mistake older ladies are suffering from now.
Listen, marriage is from Allah and you never know what woman a man wants. You don’t even know yourself what you want. You can have a type and then all of a sudden someone completely different comes around and your heart feels something. I do agree to get married young if you can but don’t say all of those things because whatever God wills will happen and you would be surprised how things work out and I am saying this as someone who used to think negative like that and speak just like that till I realized that anything is possible with my Lord.
I was severely depressed last year when I was 27. People all around me were getting married and I felt very alone after being on Muslim dating apps, whatsapp groupchats, etc. But I couldn't just sit around and wait for my life to change. 1. I started to really focus on my salahs and told myself that this could be my last salah. I prayed with a tremendous amount of focus and improved my salahs greatly. You'd be surprised to see just how much our salah needs to be improved. 2. I started to recite the quran and worked on improving my understanding of the Qur'an even more than before. 3. Every single day after work, I went downstairs to my basement and weightlifted and had a 1-hour workout session. Allah SWT gave me a body, so why not take care of it so I can worship him excellently? 4. Anytime someone asked me why I wasn't married yet, or questioned me in any way, I would give them an answer that they weren't looking for "It will happen when Allah SWT wills it to happen." 4. I refused to have any social media accounts such as instagram, facebook, x, etc., and 100% focused on becoming the best version of myself Islamically, physically and mentally. Alhumdullilah, shortly after I started to improve my connection with Allah SWT, my life changed. Alhumdullilah I got married a few months ago to a guy that's actually 17 months younger than me, and let me tell you, I am so glad I worked on myself and the depression I went through. Why? Because it only strengthened my iman. I was sad, hopeless and all I did was ask Allah SWT for forgiveness over and over because I felt like I was at the bottom of the lowest place on earth. I hope that the tears and pain that I've experienced these last few years become mountains of good deeds on the day of judgement, because that's what truly matters. Everything is temporary and both single and married lives have their challenges. I've learned that you've got to keep moving and eventually, you will find peace and contentment by the will and grace of Allah SWT. But we have to work on our connection with Allah SWT first.
This is so hard. I thought I had finally found someone who ticked all the boxes but I am not attracted to him in the slightest. Idk it will develop or not develop but good looking, even average looking men just do not come my way (I am not a diva but I don't look bad either, non-muslim guys have tried to approach me in the past, so). I am inclined towards settling with him now.
First wife here. My husband just got engaged and it’s killing me inside. I’m glad I watched this video. I am putting myself in the shoes of the soon to be 2nd wife and I will ensure she will be getting her rights. I don’t want him to marry another, but inshallah I will be rewarded for this emotional hardship. I also got to look out for my sister wife because she seems to want to give up a ton of her rights and that is not fair or right. Thanks Nafisa. 💕
Assalamualaikum, I am 23 year old, from India....I have decided not to marry because of my family trauma, can anyone tell me what issue can a single women face in society and how to tackle it 😢
Thank you so much for this wonderful reminder,I resonate with everything you have said. I have a question, Would you recommend one to try seeking for a spouse through halal dating apps?
we are healed and attract damaged men., the sword cuts both ways. i honestly feel like there is just waaaaaay too much pressure on women to be *everything and more*. the men "have too many options", are addicted to adult content, are wounded, want instant gratification, are avoiding marriage and honouring women their rights in marriage and family hood. most men come from damaged families, have poor or no male masculinity modelled to them, out of touch with their deen, can't hold down jobs/convos/plan dates etc, psychologically impaired, don;t wanna do self work - i can go on. I'm tired.I am enough as I am. Allah is enough.
I am your sister from Yemen, and by Allah I only spoke out of hunger and distress. My mother, my brothers, and I lessons and tears. We are in a situation that only God knows about. God is sufficient for us, and He is the best disposer of affairs for those who broughtOh people, we are your sisters, by God 😭😭😭 We do not even find a loaf of bread inside the house that would satisfy you, oh nation of Muhammad. People are brothers. Oh God, make your righteous servants subservient to us. Oh God, make your righteous servants subservient to us. My appeal to every Muslim, oh Lord, if he sees this message, may He prolong his life, make him happy, and cover him. May God reward him. God is sufficient for me, and He is the best disposer of affairs. There is no power or strength except with God. Oh people, oh nation of Muhammad, oh people of goodness, oh people of mercy. We are your sisters and your children. By God, we do not even find a loaf of bread inside the house that would satisfy you. Oh nation of Muhammad, I only spoke out of extreme hunger and distress. My mother, sisters, and I are displaced from our homes because of the war. We are in a state that no one knows about except God. God is sufficient for us, and He is the best disposer of affairs, against those who brought us to this state 💔💔 By God Almighty, I only wrote this appeal out of extreme poverty and poverty, oh people. I beg you by God Almighty, Lord of the Mighty Throne, that I do not have food at home. By God, my brothers and sisters have been sitting around for two days. Without food, by God our situation is very difficult, we are 4 people in the house and my father passed away and there is no one to support us and we live in a rented house and we cannot pay the rest of the rent. I am not lying to you nor deceiving you nor cheating you. I am a Yemeni girl displaced because of the war between me and my family over a rent dispute and the owner of the house. By God, my brother comes every day and humiliates us and talks about us and wants us to go out to the street because we are unable to pay him the rent. The neighbors saw us crying and talked to the neighbors again and gave us a deadline until the end of the week and we swore to God to let us out of the street now we are in arrears of 60 thousand Yemeni riyals for 3 months rent may God have mercy on us our country is suffering because of this war and we do not find our daily sustenance and we live my mother and sisters our father passed away may God have mercy on him and we do not have anyone in the world to come to us in these harsh circumstances my little sisters went out to the street and saw the neighbors eating and stood at their door giving them even a piece of bread and by God in whose hand is the heavens and the earth they closed the door and kicked them out and they came back crying dying of hunger no one has mercy on them and now the holiday has come back to me if no one of us helps us with a kilo of flour by God we will die of hunger brother I seek refuge in God and then in you and I want your help for the sake of God I ask you by God you love goodness and help me even if it is about the rent of the house send me a WhatsApp message on this number 00967717354582 and ask for my card name and send it and do not delay may God compensate you with all good My little sisters, look at their situation and help us and save us before they throw us out into the street and humiliate us or my family and I die of hunger. We ask you by God, if you are able to help us, do not delay on us, and may God reward you with good.'~~_«%•&»_~~_~&:»'////;&&;&;&;;&🎉😢😢😢😢;&;&&&//&..,!~~~♡♡~~~♡~~♡~•~•~•(･|.}]◤)~♡~♡~;l.i.i.i.i.i.l.|-.|-.،،[،,,,’,،،'،..-:::....، .
JazakAllahu khairan🤍 i always feel like you bring me back down to reality with your words, away from all the online jibberish and the fairytale stories. I don‘t think it‘s too harsh, it just sounds so realistic but in a kind way
I am your sister from Yemen, and by Allah I only spoke out of hunger and distress. My mother, my brothers, and I lessons and tears. We are in a situation that only God knows about. God is sufficient for us, and He is the best disposer of affairs for those who broughtOh people, we are your sisters, by God 😭😭😭 We do not even find a loaf of bread inside the house that would satisfy you, oh nation of Muhammad. People are brothers. Oh God, make your righteous servants subservient to us. Oh God, make your righteous servants subservient to us. My appeal to every Muslim, oh Lord, if he sees this message, may He prolong his life, make him happy, and cover him. May God reward him. God is sufficient for me, and He is the best disposer of affairs. There is no power or strength except with God. Oh people, oh nation of Muhammad, oh people of goodness, oh people of mercy. We are your sisters and your children. By God, we do not even find a loaf of bread inside the house that would satisfy you. Oh nation of Muhammad, I only spoke out of extreme hunger and distress. My mother, sisters, and I are displaced from our homes because of the war. We are in a state that no one knows about except God. God is sufficient for us, and He is the best disposer of affairs, against those who brought us to this state 💔💔 By God Almighty, I only wrote this appeal out of extreme poverty and poverty, oh people. I beg you by God Almighty, Lord of the Mighty Throne, that I do not have food at home. By God, my brothers and sisters have been sitting around for two days. Without food, by God our situation is very difficult, we are 6 people in the house and my father passed away and there is no one to support us and we live in a rented house and we cannot pay the rest of the rent. I am not lying to you nor deceiving you nor cheating you. I am a Yemeni girl displaced because of the war between me and my family over a rent dispute and the owner of the house. By God, my brother comes every day and humiliates us and talks about us and wants us to go out to the street because we are unable to pay him the rent. The neighbors saw us crying and talked to the neighbors again and gave us a deadline until the end of the week and we swore to God to let us out of the street now we are in arrears of 60 thousand Yemeni riyals for 3 months rent may God have mercy on us our country is suffering because of this war and we do not find our daily sustenance and we live my mother and sisters our father passed away may God have mercy on him and we do not have anyone in the world to come to us in these harsh circumstances my little sisters went out to the street and saw the neighbors eating and stood at their door giving them even a piece of bread and by God in whose hand is the heavens and the earth they closed the door and kicked them out and they came back crying dying of hunger no one has mercy on them and now the holiday has come back to me if no one of us helps us with a kilo of flour by God we will die of hunger brother I seek refuge in God and then in you and I want your help for the sake of God I ask you by God you love goodness and help me even if it is about the rent of the house send me a WhatsApp message on this number 00967717415667 and ask for my card name and send it and do not delay may God compensate you with all good My little sisters, look at their situation and help us and save us before they throw us out into the street and humiliate us or my family and I die of hunger. We ask you by God, if you are able to help us, do not delay on us, and may God reward you with good.'~~_«%•&»_~~_~&:»'////;&&;&;&;;&🎉😢😢😢😢;&;&&&//&..,!~~~♡♡♡~~~♡~♡~•~•~•~•~♡~♡~♡~;l.i.i.i.i.i.l.|-،..،.
The prophets of Allah had way harder tests and they are the most beloved. They didn't ask 'why me' They embraced what Allah has given them and asked for guidance on how to deal with their hardships. So stop feeling sorry for yourself.
@@MuslimMessenger267 we peasants don’t compare to the Prophets. Allah gave them special tolerance abilities and were not sinners so that we peasants can look up to them.
@@user-zm3no5xb6tplease be careful how you talk about Allah and His Qadr. I have dealt with abusive parents, a narcissist man and was bullied relentlessly but this is my test and I have no idea how much blessings I will get in the next life for enduring these things.
@@user-zm3no5xb6t And they were still human beings. Allah tests those he loves. And we are supposed to look up to them, to understand how to deal with our hardship. We really have no reason to complain.
Thank you thank you thank you For mentioning the depression-provoking movement of RP!!! I went onto a very depressive space two years ago listening & consuming their content thinking it’s interesting but it almost swallowed all hope I had. To the point it even pushed me to freely envy & jealousy of those girls who married much younger, in the ideal circumstances (for all society knew). Astaghfirullah. Yes I know marriage in young age has its perks. It doesn’t cancel out all marriage’s perks if you’re married a bit older than ‘ideal’ but they were intent to demonise every woman who passed her prime still single!! I couldn’t believe I fell into this nonsense. I live in a religious society, most girls around me are such sweet respectful and modest girls (assuming and only Allah knows) yet they’re not married YET! It doesn’t negate that they’re good people. It just proves that society indeed suffers as a result of degeneracy. Many men are falling into sin, immodest girls everywhere, and it gets harder and harder to find a man who we can willingly accept as a partner in this dark ocean of fitnah. We want to build homes that shield us not just a roof and another test of hardship. Jazaki Allah khair, and welcome back!
