Lol.... this is not a quarter life crisis... just the beginning of a recession... every generation is looking at this economy side eyed and NO this is not the norm...
As the stereotype “pretty light skin woman”. ive had more opportunities through life due to how I look but I’m still the single friend out of my group. When I tell people I’ve never dated b4 its always a shock. My guy friends tell me that since I have pretty privilege a man’s first thought of me “shes definitely taken” or “she gets hit on almost everyday. Why bother” that being said, guys are intimidated by me or don’t want to bother with someone who’s that pretty or makes them feel like a 5 not a 10🤷🏽♀️
22:30 change to what? I'm all for abandoning celebs, but what exactly are looking for? Swing for one side or anyother so you can feel more connected, because the conflict itself is older than most celebrities. And frankly, they shouldnt have an opinion because they probably dont even understand the complexity. If anything, to come out in support for one side or anthoer just affirms being completely disconnected from reality or just pandering to whatever is popular opinion
One of the things that this video highlights for me is that if you are woman you just can't win and it sucks. And yes, especially women of color... Skinny women are mean and fat women are sad is a tired philosophy for all of us and I'm sick of it.
Pretty can also mean you get treated badly by both men and women. Jealous friends that want to see you fail, Guys that want to date you but also insecure dating a woman that other men find attractive. Some people assume you will reject them so don't approach you or think you didn't need to develop a personality. Men on first dates have said they would find me to intimidating to approach in a bar and you get guys that deliberately ignore you so you don't think your all that. Sometimes id like to be invisible, I dressed down for years to avoid men looking at me. I think if you are naturally pretty then you are blessed especially if white. But still inner beauty really does win, Personality and kindness should be valued above the outer cover because nobody will stick around a pretty person eho is ugly inside and empty.
Funny how you mention that. I also had an experience on the first date where a guy who was quite handsome, charming, and seemed very sure of himself admitted that if it weren’t for the app we met on, he’d be to scared to approach me first due to fear of rejection. Which surprised me because I was extremely nervous and jittery the whole time (mostly because it was my first date with anyone) and he had picked up on that but still felt nervous because of my looks. And another poor guy I went out with was being heckled by some passerby’s who didn’t think he was attractive enough to be on a date with me. And usually i get along with women and they generally don’t have an issue with me when they realize I’m open hearted. But the ones who did have an issue with me were either white women who couldn’t stand a WOC being a threat to their confidence or other WOC (especially those with lighter skin or white passing features) who internalized being unattractive due to being WOC yet saw me (someone with brown/tan skin and ethnic features no less) doing well in life.
I trying to lose weight to get privlidged i had befire and accepted I will beautiful villian. By the way you pump out a bunch beauty standards you fry the social systematics.
It's also time to make celebrities be accountable for their wrong doings. If they are cheaters, then block them. If they are abusive, dr|_|g addict, etc. block them. At least now people are AWARE of what the celebrities are truly doing to is, the masses.
I’m a highly qualified professional woman with multiple degrees. I married at 40, after being pretty sure that I wouldn’t marry at all. I have many female friends who are still single in their 50’s and who are also highly qualified professional woman. They are intelligent, charitable, empathic, well read and generally good people. We’ve all been in relationships with verbally, emotionally and physically abusive men. None of my married female friends have relationships with men which I aspire to or admire or even envy. We have ALL of us settled for men who are emotionally immature, demanding, and pathetic. The fairy tales which end with ‘happily ever after’ are lies fed to young girls to keep women in the patriarchy to make us accept all of the BS men dole out.
3:34 Early in the video but then how do you think it's a myth? Not only do we have anecdotal evidence, but science proves it. Depending on where you are, it will differ, as standards of beauties are different all over the world, and since I think you are an American like me, it even differs among the states and even within those states. Of course other things come into this, like how we are socialized to have racial biases, ageism, albeism, classism, and biases in general but that doesn't mean that pretty privilege is a myth. Edit: the later parts you say, about how it is harder for black women. I feel like solidify this point even more. Especially since in america, and the Western world, anti-blackness is so embedded into our beauty standards. Which just shows me that it's even worse, because these people don't view these people as actually pretty. Even if they do like the girl you showed previously who had lost weight, they still hold her to a higher standard. Where she has to be even prettier, to be able to deflect criticism. Which is ridiculous. She's just living as herself it seems.
I don’t think pretty privilege is a myth in and of itself. I believe that there is a myth that anyone can attain it. Like you stated, due to racial bias etc. Most women won’t attain it even if they are gorgeous. Which I don’t think people talk about.
it's pretty shocking how men almost live a completely different life. I've only ever walked into a make-up store once and was taken back by how many varitians and "solutions" there are for beauty and how invested everyone was to finding the perfect solution, it felt like a different world to me. Honestly I believe very few men know how serious these beauty standards are, for the most part we're completely disconnected and spend more time conversating with each other on what the "ideal looking women" is, not knowing how exhausting it can be to chase such ridiculous beauty standards
I think some of Gen Z doesn’t give a crap about celebrities because they were raised by Gen X parents who don’t care about them either. Just a thought 🧐
Saying minorities/people of color don’t have pretty privilege like white people/the majority is pretty ignorant. Maybe it’s just that she isn’t attractive and people only let it fly because of the agenda she pushed/politics she sided with. If Ryan Gosling said he was voting for Trump, look how your argument would crumbled like the golden god brought down his power among thee mere mortals
Same things that any other privilege provides… jobs/economic opportunities, friends, romantic partners, access to better places and spaces, trust, free things, etc.
for me it’s done date till 25, don’t marry til 30, no kids til 35. It’s a guide, a bit of structure. It’s not set in stone, but it helps me deal with modern standards. adoption is always an option for those who can’t conceive
$75k can save hundreds of lives in poorer African countries. But nah, they gotta look pretty in front of other rich people. Listen, the rich aren’t bad. Most of the time, they deserved what they got, but it goes both ways: if they got their money unethically, should they really have that money? Everyone assumes rich people are always unethical because the few bad eggs, and that’s justified bc that’s human nature… how he see and how we judge.
So I’m a dark skinned black woman with a BIGGG afro, a hourglass body (I’m 5’10 and 180 lbs), and I attend a well-known PWI. I was always taught to speak properly and be intelligent by my father and taught to act feminine and be humble by my mother, who are both white. I also love mainstream pop from the 2010s, romance movies, hiking, and gardening. Growing up, people called me many things: “Whitewashed.” “Oreo.” “Candace Owens wannabe.” These are from other black peers who have their own perception of me. Because I hold pretty privilege and because I am kind to others, many people see me as a dark-skinned Regina George. But here’s the kicker, I have met white adults who tell me along the lines of, “Oh, you’re so well spoken! See, you’re one of the good ones. Dressed well, act right, I wish they’re more like you.” Pretty privilege exists, but for black women it can be a double edged sword. Thank you for speaking on this topic.
@@no.6377 she literally mentions it in the video. 1st of all people like you for your personality not your looks. People leave you alone more. Its easier to make female friends because they are not threatened by your beauty or paranoid you will steal their bf. A lot of men target beautiful women specifically to humble them. People assume youre brainless if youre a hot woman etc. Thats why Legally Blonde was sych an interesting concept because people literally think pretty women are just bimbos
The problem with getting a job after college is that these entry level jobs need multiple years of experience for the positions college kids want or what they went to school for. So they have to settle for the bare minimum entry level positions
TLDR: People hate pretty people but like the advantages they can get from being around someone who is or by having it. Most people are only seeking to gain from them. People don’t take unconventionally attractive people seriously and give leniency to their behaviors as well. Society is confusing and weird and whiteness and skinniness is glorified to the max economically and socially. Pretty people tend to be praised for their ability to produce “healthy children” and tend to be over sexualized from a young age and at the same time people are only around you for the benefits of attention for being seen with you not necessarily for who you actually are. Unconventionally attractive women are avoided and people feel bad for them so they flood them with compliments but since they don’t get the benefit of attention they’re expected to be smart or funny or athletic or something else.
In the broader view the beauty industry is lucrative. It’s always been lucrative to sell to black overweight women especially since it’s so deviant from the norm of whiteness. You’re not actually ugly just broke bcs of classism.
This isn't true. While there's a degree of jealousy beautiful ppl are looked up to by other as smarter and more capable via the halo effect. People also feel more of a need to help them and provide them with opportunities
This was a great video. I would love to see your take on the looksmaxxing movement that has taken off with red pillers and incels. It is horrifying to go through the comment section. They too are obsessed with changing their looks but their motivations seem to be driven by eugenics. Knowing boys men are staring into the screens at PLS gods is disturbing. They are looking at jawlines like young women used to compare and critique thin models in magazines.
Well it’s about time , woman have been going through it for generations. So it’s males turn to finally understand how trying to fit the aesthetic for the male gaze has lead to many young woman to older adults self hating and not feeling good enough . And man continue to drive thst by consistently tell women you are done at age 25 . Misogyny hurts right ?
My friend is all over twitter getting called a ped0, what she did was she was joking and was like is it wrong to find a 14 year old attractive when you're 20? She told me she didn't think much of it, and that's what she usually does, she does things without thinking, so when things got big, and people are sending her hatful comments and telling her to k**l herself, she asked me what to do and wanted to contact twitter, I know this probably doesn't matter to you, but my friend isn't like that, she thought it was a joke, and what she did ruined her image on social media, no one likes her anymore, she's cancelled, and people won't buy from her because she's an artist and sells beautiful custom drawings, yet people focus on the bad things and ignored her apologies. Do you know how you can help? Or what do you think about her situation?
Men must change. Bottom line. They *should* have changed 100 years ago when women started getting rights... but they never did. 100 years women gave them the benefit of the doubt. Now there is no further we can go. Women demand men change PERIOD. Until they do... we will sit it out.
I pray for the day society will just appreciate people for who they are as well as themselves. Everyone will be beautiful in their own ways. I’m happy to see more people talking about this but I’m not sure if it’s even possible for us to break down beauty standards
What’s your experience being pretty? Of course no need to answer, but it feels a bit like an elephant in the room of this essay. And it just seems like an interesting thing to explore and discuss out loud, especially because RU-vid relies so heavily on Pretty Privilege. Its successful content creators are much prettier on average. And to be honest, the first time I clicked on one of your videos, I probably first thought, “Wow, she’s pretty” then, “Oh and that title is pretty interesting.” (And then the video WAS genuinely thoughtful!) But by putting your face in your thumbnails, it seems to be a subtly acknowledgment that there’s a benefit to showing it. Whereas other less attractive content creators might choose to present their content without their face (or at least their face in the thumbnail). Again, don’t mean to be awkward here, but I just think it could be an interesting addendum to an already interesting essay.
No problem🌸. I grew up in an all white area, so I was never seen as pretty. No one told me I’m pretty (besides family and close friends of course) until I was in college. This is where I was able to be around more black people. That was when I really realized, oh I’m kinda pretty, but even then only to an extent because colorism is a real thing. I acknowledged I am seen as pretty to people of color, but from my experience growing up around white people, I’m aware that I don’t really receive “pretty privilege” from the broader society. So I never had the mindset that my beauty would get me ahead, or provide me with the ability to act however I wanted. Hope that makes sense 🙏🏾
@@tinyseythat makes me sad that you were never seen as pretty growing up. I went through similar things as a kid, and was always viewed as the ugly kid. I know how much that affected me, and I don't mean to assume, but I know stuff like that doesn't feel nice. It's sad to, considering how you legitimately are stunning 🥺
@@tinysey I believe this because you have no reason to lie, but you’re not average pretty. So it’s kinda perplexing to me to actually fathom. Since we’re being honest. But, I get it. I’m black as well and seem biased in my response
Using the opportunity to be early here to share info i learnt in art history in uni : 1. Cellulite was invented as a problem by a dude who wanted to sell cream to women. 2. It is visible on statues. Why ? Because it was once sexy as hell. And by that, i purposely mean : it was one of the most characteristical traits of an ADULT woman's body. 3. It also is visible on paintings. Maybe not the classical type, since the point was to smooth everything and represent gods, as close as humans were able to semi-perci e them, but still. Ex : check out realism's precurssor who gave a middle finger to classics and built his own movment through the influence he left in art : Gustave Courbet (France). 5. Hips. And hip-dips. Once again, look at art. LOOK AT APHRODITE SCULPTURES AND PAINTINGS. Look at "La source" from Courbet (yeah, i like this dude's vibe). We always forget that what we're surrounded by is idealized. May that be ancient art from around the Mediterranean sea, or photoshoped advertisment. These people's jobs are to make realistic things look unberably (?) pretty. And yet : 6. Look around. How many people you'd never see on catwalks are happy and pretty ? Or beautiful ? Or anything ? How many have the same face, or body ? Do you see people you admire with your body shape, that seem confident as hell ? Why not fake it until you feel like you make it, at least once a month ? What, and who makes you feel ugly ? Where does it come from ? Is it justified ? Does it actually have anything to do with you at all, or is it projection ? Do you know what creates that bump, curve, spot or whatever in X place of your body that you dislike ? Is it a muscle ? Why is it there ? Last thing : i can garantee you you'd be fun to draw for a few people, and maybe, maybe, you'd love a book character if it looked like you ♡ F beauty norms, make your own. They just keep changing anyways, and our bodies know better.
Yeah but the reason big women were attractive back then was for birthing reasons and association with wealth. Both of those things are different now. Poverty is now associated with overweight people and birthing kids is not as difficult or important
@@FencingMessiah but pretty much every adult woman who’s not visibly underweight has cellulite to some extent. Serena Williams has cellulite, despite being one of the most successful female athletes and buff as heck
@@_kaleido Serena Williams is successful for athletic reasons she's not an heiress or model. She built that herself by putting her body on the line so she's not held up as great because she's gorgeous but because of what she accomplished coming from where she came from. What everyone mostly has is not necessarily attractive sometimes rarity is attractive like with eye color, breast size, butt size, above average penis ect.
I always thought that since what's "pretty" constantly changes over time and is different to every person and culture makes it feel like a never ending pursuit with no real satisfaction, especially if you aren't truly happy within yourself.
@@FencingMessiah nah bro, you cant find a single beauty standard that stayed the same throughout time. and different locations like africa to asia to europe have way different preferred beauty features that makes you ugly in one place and pretty in another.
@@sbond7510 above average height, strength, sharp looking eyes that aren't brown, voluminous hair clear skin strong jaw line and above average penis size in men. Petite size, curvy, large breasts, clear skin, long hair, doe eyes, full lips in women. While some things may trend for a short period throughout history like men wearing high heels originally or having powdered wigs and makeup these are not general attraction trigger between men and women they are more adaptive. Men and women look for "health" in their partners or what they believe denote health so they can replicate healthy offspring. These attraction triggers can be hijacked by culture but not changed
@@babyrossetastone3920 above average height, strength, sharp looking eyes that aren't brown, voluminous hair, clear skin strong jawline and above average penis size in men. Petite size, curvy, large breasts, clear skin, long hair, doe eyes, full lips in women. While some things may trend for a short period throughout history like men wearing high heels originally or having powdered wigs and makeup these are not general attraction trigger between men and women they are more adaptive. Men and women look for "health" in their partners or what they believe denote health so they can replicate healthy offspring. These attraction triggers can be hijacked by culture but not changed
I think that some things will be kinda more socially acceptable when someone is attractive. But yeah, if it’s like a job interview, they are (hopefully) going to hire the most qualified, not the most attractive.
This seems incredibly naive to me. You guys really don't think that, like, being hairy as a woman, and having bad skin, and a lazy eye and f'd up teeth hurt your chances in a job interview? What do you guys think people mean when they say that pretty people have privilege? It's not that it's impossible to get a job if you aren't conventionally attractive, but it 1000% is being weighed during an interview. If you're up against someone equally qualified to you and they're gorgeous and you're ugly, the pretty person is getting it. That's reality, man.
As someone who wants to go into child education, pretty privilege is at work not just in the hiring process (since they think an attractive person is more competent and trustworthy with children) but in the way children interact with you. Kids internalize that beauty = virtue from a young age (look at Disney movies for example). And yeah, most kids aren’t going to like a pretty teacher who is mean to them. But there is more excitement and maybe trust when a teacher is kind and attractive than if a teacher is kind and unattractive.
