I went through some similar stuff. My parents neglected me to the fullest along with my sibling. They felt like roommates that I'd have to cater to. My mom would spend hours at the mall buying jewelry for herself instead of buying us clothes. My sibling had only worn out, holey clothes. So bad to the point our school gave him a bag of clothes and supplies. I never asked for anything. I thought that would make her notice me. It didn't. My mom made one meal a day while we were kids. Thanks for the meal mom. But that meant 7 yr old me was eating snacks until dinner at 10 pm, sometimes even 11 pm at night. Then my mom would tell everyone what bad kids we were. We learned how to cook, cleaned, did chores, got amazing grades at school. But somehow we were bad. My dad was just always doing his own thing. We never got comforted. No hugs. I would force hugs on them and notice how uncomfortable they got. And they wonder why I don't like them today.
Hey Ashira I don't have much contact with my family except for my brother. I have a really great partner who helps me so much. I can really relate to what you're saying. My father has hurt me so much and refuses to understand my perspective as well. It's so painful that he doesn't care to know or see me. I love what you said about using your energy to strengthen the relationships that you do have with your mom and partner. That is so right. I want to focus on that. I know I haven't been easy for my partner to be around sometimes but I know I can better myself and channel good energy and care into my relationship with him. That's great advice. Thank you so much. You are amazing.
Hi Ashira you made me feel not alone. I am in a similar situation to you. I cut off all my friends about 2 years ago for some of the same reasons you said. I thought they hated me, didn't want to be around me anymore, didn't appreciate me, didn't care about me, etc. I felt I scared all of them away with my negativity and instability. Maybe that's true. I also became estranged from my family in that time too due to abuse and neglect. I only have my partner in my life. He cares about me and is so important to me. I am so grateful I have him. I haven't seen any mental health professionals due to shame and distrust for them but I do struggle so much with my mental health that I haven't worked for more than three years. My career has been completely put on hold. All my hard work has been for nothing it seems. I don't know if I will ever reach my full potential or do the things I dreamed of in life or be successful like I want. I'm scared. I'm so lonely. Thank you for making me feel understood and less alone. I hope the best for you. -from a fellow human being
you must make sure you keep a regular sleep schedule i think i will help even more than the help you already received - noticed one night you were up til 2am
I feel bad for people who gone mentally ill, I blame that on bossy rude people, junk vehicles that make people stuck with them now thanks to the economy. You just get to the point of feeling like you are not sleeping very well and being pushed hard to keep a straight face. What I don't understand is there is people who are both physically and mentally challenged, it's time for the officials to start helping the people out. Some people don't like ev's and my governor is talking about making everybody switch, great that's cool let's go let's hurry up and get with the program because I'm so so fed up with gasoline 98-2024 junk I can't fix.
One of the problems I have is extreme claustrophobia and I don’t want to be someplace I can’t leave on my own. I went to a place last night and it was cold, isolating and depressing. I have no idea as to what I should do. I could really use the help but not in places like that. Wising you the best on your treatment.
I'm thrilled to see this but also horrified by the difference in the quality of this hospital and the ones that treat lower class and elderly Americans. This makes our hospitals look like holding cells. Kinda concerned about the electric and ligature risks in an inpatient setting but I'll let Melbourne worry about that
GIRL what are you wearing? That top? When you are out with your ma? Did you make that or can you reply with a link where to buy it. LOVE IT!! I TRIED TO GOOGLE EYE IT no luck...
Looooooove you and love this ❤ Heidi Priebe on RU-vid made a video about your inner child needing discipline and structure which I think REALLY plays into what you’re talking about! I would definitely check that video out if you’re interested. Inner child work feels really challenging but it’s so rewarding and freeing! Sending love 💕
I’m not sure I understand how this works/helps, excuse my ignorance. Is it required that you check into a psych ward in order to get medication? If someone is going through a mental episode wouldn’t a place like this make it worse? Appreciate the insight. With kindness 💕
2:54 PLEASE DONT HOLD YOUR BUNNY LIKE THAT they go into a shock and they don’t feel comfortable and makes them feel a bit insecure so PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE Don’t hold your bunny like that
Do you have anything ready for her? You should always have the set up and ready. And always always do your research first!!! Have you ever had a rabbit before!? They are messy and will chew oh things and pee and poop a lot!
I learn so much from you. And I’m continuously awe-struck at the person you are, so courageous, authentic, wise, dedicated- you have this unique glow of inner beauty and the way you handle the challenges you’ve faced, and also what you bring into the world as a person
I hope people with emotional issues recover and get back to the society. <3 For my journey, I want to share that no one all has just good days and don't have bad days. We can be unemployed at times, get out of a social connection at times and need time to recover from periods with medication's side effects. I gained weight literally like a pig during high school and only came back to my shape couple of years ago. I tried to laugh whenever I looked at old photos. It made me get lost.
Girl, I have been following you on IG for a while and I didn't know you have a YT channel. After seeing a couple of your videos I must say - you are such a beautiful person, inside and out, it is truly inspiring how you are working on yourself! After 4 years of being in a relationship I suddenly heard that I'm too needy and too much. But it simply means for me that I fall for emotionally unavailable people and avoidants... We all crave connection and closeness and if you are too giving is not something you should be beating yourself up over, at the end of the day we all want to be loved and I hope you will find that person that will never tell you that you're too much and with open arms will accept your love and affection, because you deserve the world Ashira! <3 LOVE xxx
You can be so proud of yourself! Shame often kills us, so please continue to be kind to yourself. Like you said, you're doing your best and you are recognizing your patterns, trauma, etc., and working on them, which is the most important thing!
I just wanted to say that it’s so beautiful to see you so reflective and self aware. Relationships with BPD/trauma/attachment issues are so difficult, from watching you, you’ve come so far, and seems like you’re still learning so much along the way. You should be proud. Sending love x
Proud of you ashira! I’ve been watching you for two years now, you have made such incredible strides. As someone who also Deals with BPD ( mines milder but still) I understand everything your saying and I am so proud of your ability reframe despite being in the middle of the trigger! Your doing amazing and like you said you DESERVE the patience and understanding required to make you feel safe in relationships even if for now your the only one who can provide it to the level that you need. Sending you so much love girl, I see you and feel you deeply ❤
it makes me so sad to see that you are going through a rough patch but you are so strong and have developed the skills to push through. i know you don’t know but i just wanted to say that i believe in you!! you are doing amazing, you are so aware of your emotions and feelings which is such a great ability. i’m sending so much love to you and i hope you see this and smile 🩵🫶😊
Seeing you cry reading that letter has me BAWLING I can’t wait to get older so I can admit myself to a PW. I need it. I’ve seen some of ur recent videos and I think and hope that you’re doing well now! Lots of love from Missouri!❤❤❤
I'm from New Orleans, and none of the mental hospitals I've been in are as nice as this. I was strip searched, and had everything taken from me, and that included my phone.
I am going to start my journey and I want to thank you for your courage showing me it's ok to be vulnerable it hurts so bad to be unloved locked up in your mind
I had no idea people could like willingly schedule themselves to go in for a treatment course. In the US most people get admitted involuntarily or check themselves in bc they know they're s*icidal. I had a mental breakdown 2 years ago and was s*icidal, afraid to be alone, and my husband had to go away on a 2 week busines trip during a very hard month. I've never been so scared in my life. I almost called a friend to take me to the hospital one night but the idea of getting trapped in a psych ward and unable to leave terrified me. I've only heard horror stories from friends that have been. I wish I had this option. I haven't had a whole lot of help managing my mental illness either. I did manage to find a therapist and psychiatrist that would take me and I got diagnosed with BPD and PTSD but I dont feel like theyve been very attentive. They gave me meds but I still feel sort of lost at sea 😢
I’ve been several times as well (in the US) and it’s nothing like her experience. It was awful! You can’t leave, you can’t have your phone or any electronics for that matter. The majority of the staff are over worked and underpaid. You’re fortunate if they let you take a magazine or book in your room. And these are several different psych wards. I only can only wish that it was that nice.
@kathleenblackwell3445 I actually just got out 2 days ago, after a 9 day stay at one and it was incredibly nice. It was a brand new facility fortunately. We got to read in our rooms all we wanted and had a lot of good groups and even some yoga sessions. We were not allowed phones though, or any other electronics. The beds and lack of real bathroom doors were my only major complaints. The bedding was made out of an anti-rip quilt material and the bathroom "doors" were a soft material that swung open like a saloon door and magneted to the door jam. Not super fun having to go to the bathroom like that with a complete stranger sleeping like 8 feet away
@@meredithd95 I’m glad to hear that it was at the very least a nice new facility and with lots of groups. Yeah, the bathroom situation isn’t ideal. Out of curiosity,…what kind of groups did you have? Also, I apologize for the delayed response.
@kathleenblackwell3445 we had some DBT groups which was a great introduction to that for me since I have BPD. We had some art groups and chair yoga groups and one of the nurses really loved yoga so we would move all the chairs and tables in the common area and do a big full body yoga sesh whenever she was working. I know I was very lucky to get to go to such a wonderful place
@@meredithd95 I’m very happy for you 😊 I really like the groups when you talk about things and hear from other people. Love the art groups and the ones where you make jewelry
