Hello! I'm a 30+ year old bloke, also suffer from anxiety much of my life, though most people would laugh at me for saying it, as I manage it reasonably well. I too get the butterflies, gut pain, diarrhea from an anxious state. I do believe that it is a weakness, personally. Framing it this way has been a key part for deciding to fight to overcome it. In alot of ways, anxiety is the rational state, especially given things like road rage, the hustle and bustle, anger and rush that everyone is in - the world is a threatening place. From my research, I found that it is basically impossible to make scarey things less scarey, but - and this was key - you can become braver. I didn't have my hair cut for 10 years (grew dreadlocks and wore a beanie constantly), and when I did, it was only my girlfriend (now wife) that was allowed to cut my hair. I then spent the next 5 years transitioning to going to a barbers. I now love going to the barbers - though I still HATE the first steps of going. I still get anxiety about it, but I have developed strategies - mainly practice doing more uncomfortable things, just beyond the comfort zone, and keep doing it, every day! It does not need to be extreme, but you just have to take yourself past the comfort zone little by little and it will naturally grow further every day! You can do it! Desensitisation is the only way you can get past this horrible state. All the best on your journey, you're not alone.
@@tom.2900 thank you so much for sharing. It’s easy for people to laugh when they’ve not experienced something. I guess that’s human ignorance. I agree with you about the desensitisation and I know that is sometimes harder than it seems. It’s just so hard for other people to understand when they don’t suffer from it themselves. I think, generally, it’s hard for us all to understand feelings and situations when we don’t experience them. I really appreciate your encouragement and help. Do you go out and about in general or do you find yourself restricted quite a lot?
Hi - I suffered like you for 10 years. But cured myself 100% through using a couple of very simple thought/habit changes and then practicing these daily for approx 6 months. Please reach out as I have cured friends and family. Sorry but don’t know how to DM. Am in UK. BTW this isn’t a sales pitch! I know exactly how you feel and just want to help others as the cure is so straightforward.
@@chrisw76 thanks so much, Chris. That is so very kind of you. I am really curious and interested into your techniques. I’m very much into the mental state of mind and reprogramming. I am a huge fan of Hypnosis and I know quite a lot about it, but need to know a lot more.
With the final question you asked, has your life became hard? I've seen a couple of other shorts where you say you suffer from depression and anxiety, is that linked to financial worry? Or have I misunderstood what you meant by life getting harder?
I empathise totally and wanted to reply to say you are not alone. I have been in this state for the past 15 years but the past 2/3 post pandemic has finished me off. I don't go out and do everything online. MOT is done by mechanic who picks car up and delivers back to me. I turn down invites all the time. I venture out only in my car to drop my daughter who is becoming increasingly independent and soon will not need me to. The anxiety is crippling and made more complex by chronic pain. I don't discuss it with anyone because I can't handle the 'just get out there' comments. Nothing to add or advise you on, but wanted to fly the flag.
@@hn4338 your message has really touched me and I am so glad that you have shared this. I thought I was the only person getting the mechanic to pick my car up in the past the only reason I took it myself is because the MOT station is literally about two minutes walk away it’s a new MOT station that wasn’t there before. The Garden Centre is my next door neighbour and Tesco is less than a mile away from my house and I felt well enough to drive there. I read you have chronic pain. I’m very sorry about that, and I suffer from recurrent migraines, I also don’t discuss my problem with hardly anyone for the same reasons: told to just get out there and do it. If only it was that simple, thank you so much for this message.
Thank you for being brave enough to share how you feel. I suffer from crippling anxiety as well. It has stopped me from passing my driving test and I need to take up lessons again. This afternoon, I walked to my local supermarket and the whole time I just felt so anxious! Keep going, you are doing great. 🧡
I've had periods of my life where I've been in a similar situation to you. The truth is you just have to make yourself go out every day, even if it's just for a quick walk around the block. Once you're okay with that, up the stakes and go a bit further. But the key is you have to make it a daily in order to form a habit. All the other good stuff (diet, meditation, being kind to yourself etc) will help a bit, but only regular exposure to what you fear can truely cure the anxiety.
@@npwn6569 I totally agree with what you’ve said and I’ve told myself so many times I just need to go out every day for a very short period of time. I don’t even know how I end up forgetting that I’m so very grateful that you have reached out and messaged me. Couldn’t agree more about the daily habit forming pattern.
I am in a very similar place. Not going out much, feeling isolated. I am pretty sure it is old trauma (fear) of this or previous lives that plays out in your nervous system. You probably need grounding and energetic protection and someone who helps you identifying the old fears and releasing them. In a way that's what you are already doing. You are doing a lot of work that you are not aware of. The world needs sensitive people like yourself. You will break through!
@@silkemansholt6283 I am truly grateful for your kind words. Thank you so much for taking the time to message me. I think there’s a lot more I could be doing and I tend to forget that I need to work on this on a daily basis as well there is so much to do every day I end up forgetting that I need to do more work on myself. Grounding and energetic protection is very interesting. I do not know much about it.
Follow agoraphobic here. I just started documenting my journey. I can't walk more that a few yards from my house without panic. I feel pathetic but since I've started carnivore diet, I feel hopeful and I'm able to do a lot more
@@gratefulagoraphobe thank you so much for reaching out and sending me this message. I’m really interested to know how your diet goes and I know some other people that are following the same diet that might sound a bit strange coming from me because I am a vegetarian, but I am very interested in quite a few diets.
@@MaskedMother I'm day 94 of carnivore and I've seen more positive changes than 20yrs of other treatments, and I've tried them all. You can do vegetarian keto, a lot of seafood and eggs. The main thing is to go into ketosis and stay in ketosis for a while. Ketogenic therapy is game changing for people. Look up the channel Metabolic Mind. They are great information. I went carnivore bc is stomach problems, I'm better with no veg or fruit, but it doesn't have to be extreme. There are lots of vegetarian keto people getting great results. There are loads of channels about it. I have made videos about my journey, good and bad
Great video, I relate to all of your feelings, I think you are really brave. Self compassion is the key to getting the strength to push through that little bit further each week. We are all work in progress!
@@jamieabraham-brett2978 thank you very much, Jamie. It makes all the difference to connect to other people who relate. I feel like a prisoner so often.
Hi, what initially instigated your anxiety? Nasty people - a society thing, and / or e.g. an infrastructure thing - busy roads etc, or something else? Thanks. Love from Scotland, ❤ X ...
@@inquisitive1911 I would love to visit Scotland. It’s a long story, but I suffer from emetophobia. That has a knock on effect on everything I do. I know I need to talk about this but it’s hard. Love from London x
Thanks for the honest review. Use motivated Diyers on a budget think it will all just work out but sometimes it needs to be done right or just live with above ground pool. A semi inground would of been a good comprise.
Haven’t you got male employees or friends that can protect you? You should have complete backing by police but the police are so corrupt they are probably getting payments from such a man, if you have a incline when or if he’s coming back have someone you don’t know 😁🫣🤷♂️🤷♂️ sat in one of your diggers and get them to destroy his Range Rover you don’t know who it was someone trying to steal it and must have thought the owner had caught him,
hi masked mother, me again. Can't wait for the pool to be done, I'm looking forward to it! Keep up the guitar, all instruments are difficult at first but i promise you'll get the hang of it soon!!! Also, the fish look beautiful
This is *very* long. It's 2 parts that total around 10,000 characters. I apologize for the length, but feelings and situations like these are kind of difficult to talk about and/or deal with, and can be even more difficult to resolve. So I don't have anything short that seems like it'd be very helpful. Even with all these words; none of it may be helpful, but just in case some of it might be, I felt it was worth the effort to try :) But some people vehemently dislike long posts, so I'm putting this disclaimer first, to save them starting to read something that is too long for them to enjoy. On to the long post ;P ************************* Sorry to hear you're having those kinds of problems :\ I can understand what it's like facing some the kinds of issues you described, like problems with focus, difficulty with reading comprehension, difficulty dealing with problems - although I'm sure the way each of us ended up reaching the point where we had to deal with those kinds of issues is quite different. In my case, back in 2001 I started getting sicker and sicker to the point where, in about 6 months, I went from being a person who could assemble an engine, to a person who was *literally* not able to assemble a sandwich. It turned out the chemicals I worked with at my job (commercial printing) were getting into my system and building up. That wasn't figured out until I was little more than a vegetable. Anyway, it fried my brain pretty good, and did all kinds of screwy things with my central nervous system. Obviously I've gotten *MUCH* better over the years, otherwise I wouldn't be able to write this. lol But I still have random issues, bouts of some kind of sickness where I can barely eat for a week or so (just getting better for the last 2 days, after having that for a week and a half) And I still have lots of issues with randomly not being able to do things. In my case, it's like I just can't process whatever random job or task on a given day, that on a different day, I'd be able to do without even needing to think about it. Just becomes some unsolvable puzzle where I don't even know where to start. And it's somewhat like there's some sort of wall/barrier/fog between whatever info/skills I need to do this thing (whatever it is. it could be pretty much ANYthing) that I just can't get through, around, or overcome. *Sometimes*, very rarely, I can sort of brute force it, but trying that is risky, because more often than not, that actually makes things worse. Sometimes backing off from that, and doing something else, sort of lets of some pressure or something and later I'll find myself okay to face that task, or oddly enough, sometimes doing/thinking of something *completely different* will trigger some change that allows me to get back on track in the problem area. Sort of like, can't take it straight on, but might work if you sort of back your way into it, if that makes any sense lol. But, in my case, most of the time if something I *should* be able to do, has just become incomprehensible to me, I just have to think to back off, and sort of visualize myself doing *other* things. Tasks, jobs, hobbies, chores, etc. Just try to visualize myself doing one of these things... And if I can't visualize myself doing whatever that thing is, I shift over to trying to visualize myself doing yet another, *different* thing... Till I hit upon something I *CAN* visualize myself doing. Basically, in my case, I've found that *if I can't visualize it* in my mind, then there's a very strong chance that *I can't do it* either. But if I CAN visualize doing it, I usually CAN actually do it. Like, if I can't imagine myself driving to Walmart, and shopping, and checking out the items at the register, then I'm either not going to be able to do that at all, or I'm likely to have difficulties with one or more things required to complete that "mission". So then, even though maybe I can't do that original thing or things that I wanted, or needed, to do, at least now I have some choices of what I CAN potentially do. The way I've learned to look at it, is that suffering over, or feeling guilty about, or upset, ashamed, angry, or dismayed, etc over not being able to do a thing, or things, that I want or need to do, is pointless. That can only drag me down, and/or others around me. No matter how much I beat myself up about the things I can't do, that is NOT going to get ANYthing done. It achieves nothing *useful*. However, as long as I can still do SOMETHING, then at least I'm still accomplishing something. It doesn't really matter if it's something big, or small, as long as it's some sort of *progress*. Even if it's not necessarily progress in the direction you'd hoped to go that day. **Continued in Part 2**
**Part 2** Because there's always the chance that if you just keep going, that you might be able to do whatever it was you couldn't do today, tomorrow. And, honestly, there's some projects that have waited a year for me to get back to the point where I can take that next step to get that progressing again. And that kind of sucks but, hey, I got hundreds of OTHER things done during that time. Some days all that got done was me eating chicken noodle soup with crackers, while I listened to an audiobook. Which isn't a great accomplishment in the grand scheme of things, but that literally *was* the best that I could do on that day. And if that's the best you can do, who can ask for more than that? Anyway, it's a lot easier to notice progression when you are doing it in leaps and bounds, but we can't realistically always do that, forever. So we have to understand that sometimes we might not be able to make 60 jumps forward in a day. Some days we might only be able to make it an inch. However, if we make it an inch forward today, then tomorrow we make it another inch, and another inch the day after that... While we may not be able to look up each day and feel like we've made any real progress... Eventually we will be able to look over our shoulder, and see that we've traveled *miles*. So, sometimes you have to adjust your perspective a bit, in order to give yourself the credit you actually deserve. Anyway, I don't know what has brought you to this point, but I can empathize with some of what it's like being there. And I really do hope what's getting you down, and/or holding you back right now will pass soon. You might just need a bit of rest and de-stressing. I mean, it's one thing to lift a hundred pounds for a minute or two, to move something out of your way, it's another to put a hundred pounds into your backpack and carry it around with you all day every day while you are trying to take care of everything else in your life. That's analogous to things like stress and responsibility. It's one thing to deal with large stresses or shoulder large responsibilities temporarily, it's another to have them weighing you down hour after hour, day after day, actively taking away from your ability to handle more, making every little step, that much harder. I wish I had some real and easy answers on how to get out from under things like that when they are reaching the point where you are getting immobilized by them, but all I know to do when things are getting to the point where I can no longer "carry" them myself, is to either set some of it aside, or see if someone else can help shoulder some of the load. Like, when I talked about going to the store earlier, saying if I couldn't visualize being able to do *all* of those steps, I would probably have trouble actually completing that mission by myself? Well, in a case like that, I *might* be able to take somebody else along, who *could* do the things I couldn't visualize (the things I would have trouble doing, or couldn't do)/do. Like, if I couldn't drive today, but could do the other things? Well, then maybe I could just ask somebody to drive me, and I could do the rest. Or, if I *could* drive, but my brain wasn't in the right frame of mind to be able to figure out the self-checkout stuffs, then maybe I could ask somebody to come along and do the self checkout stuffs. So, like, if there are just some aspects of a complex/multi-step task or process, maybe the best answer is finding some way to have someone else take care of the things that you are having difficulty with? I dunno, it's just a thought. Anyway, this has gotten dangerously close to the maximum comment length allowed on youtube, so I'd better wrap it up ;P Oh, and you mentioned some things about crying... Well, when you are a person that rarely cries, or doesn't cry often, then getting near the point where the emotions inside of you are trying to release in that manner, it can be *really painful*. But sometimes that's what needs to happen. Like, sometimes crying can let out emotions that we can't otherwise resolve or process within ourselves naturally. It's sort of like "emotional indigestion". And, just like real indigestion, sometimes it's so bad, that it's better to just *get it all out of your system*, than it is to try and treat it. With real indigestion, that means throwing up, and up, and up, till it's fiiiiiiinally all gone, and you can start living your life again. With emotional indigestion, all I know to do, is find a movie or something that's going to rip your heart out and feed it to you. Something guaranteed to make you cry on an innocent and primal level. For me, a movie like "Up" (2009) punches me in the soft bits hard enough to get the job done. But if that kind of movie isn't your kind of thing, and you are a dog lover, maybe something like "Red Dog" (2011)? Just a few that come to mind. The point is, if those kinds of emotions are overwhelming you, sometimes it's better to just dump out as much of it as you can in a sort of "controlled situation/environment". Like, when you choose, where you choose, how you choose. That can get rid of all the tumultuous *junk emotions*, and after that *real* natural, normal, emotions, that you can process will naturally come back. Whatever course you end up taking, I wish you great success :)
Thank you so much for taking all this time to write to me. In a world where writing is almost a thing of the past-let alone done with a pen-and a world where people don’t have the patience to finish watching a short. You’re right about so much. There’s so little I can share in a short. I find so many to be fickle, without sensitivity and dishonest. But I can’t tell my whole story because it would impact on certain people and I don’t want to cause harm. But there’s so much I want to share and learn. Thank you again. What a terrible thing that happened to you. Did you manage to get any compensation?
I hope I can add better and more useful content as I progress. I’ve been struggling with depression and it’s slowing me down. Thank you so much for your support. It truly means the world to me
Always call the police and never speak directly with unruly people who use big words and try and play smarter than they really are, And take it as high up as possible because this fellow wants you to foreclose so he can buy out all of the property yah good luck always get permits and have proof of everything also tell the police he has pictures on his phone of your property and he tampered with your machine and that you have a witness. He stole from your property call the police and report him you have his plate on camera show the police the video and charge him from the bottom all the way up you gottem good he will loose his business license for fraud.
