COLORISM OCCURS AGAINST ANY COLOR IN ANY RACE! U DON'T GET TO DEFINE IT JUST TO BENEFIT U. WHAT THE PEEPS CRYING COLORISM HAVE DONE THIS WHOLE TIME. BE COLORIST TO LIGHT BW BULLY THEM. BE COLORIST TO THE MEN WHO PREFER LIGHT BW BULLY THEM. ALL WHILE CRYING COLORISM UR SELVES. DIRTY SYSTEM!
I don't have this nostalgia, because I never got this momma stare. So it doesn't recreate a familiar feeling in my body. I related it to how the democrats can't afford infighting as a group, because they need to maintain a lot of energy and hope to take over the momentum from the republican party. If they fall apart... And I could tell that she knows why she's there and she knows the task is heavy, what must be delivered and what she's saving the world from.
To me, there are some Jealousy and Envy people I have to create my boundaries with. Because some of these people can be dangerous to be with. Mostly where I came from...
Thanks for the comment. I def understand creating boundaries. This video is not to discourage boundary creation, but rather to remind people that our friends are people. If they exhibit behavior we don't like, we should talk about it. Hope that helps :)
Bless U for sharing ur own perception. But sometimes this jealousy and envy can be dangerous. One has to be careful. Not everyone is mature and can process the way u did. A LOT of people have died due to jealousy and Envy Friendship/ partners and Families.
Thx for your comment. I am not saying don't move with care. I am saying the emotions are part of the journey of life. Create boundaries and have conversations about peoples actions. If they aren't mature enough to have the conversation, I would question if that is the friendship for you. You know? Blessing right back! I hope this clarified things for you :)
What you’re talking about happens when people are self aware. They own the full range of their feelings and thoughts. They don’t blame you and they take ownership of their negative feelings. You and your friend are healthy and emotionally mature. What Oprah is talking about is when people mistreat you because they are jealousy or envious. Those friends are dangerous because they mean to harm you because they associate the negative feelings with you. They lack self awareness and are emotionally immature. They would rather harm you than sit in their thoughts and feelings and examine them.
I hear your sis. But I would also add this: MOST people are NOT self-aware. They become more aware as people tell them how their behavior comes off in context. It gives them room. I agree that my friends are hell aware (most of therapist) but self-awareness is hard to develop in isolation. Just another layer to consider
I kinda agree with yall both. I feel like the distinction is the type of jealousy or how they handle that jealousy.... Cause jealously and the only persoective one couldnlose a friend over.
Agreed! They mentioned the jealousy itself (well, they were more talking about envy, but I have a whole other video on that). If someone have behaviors you don't like, tell them, set a boundary..and if it continues to be a problem, distance.
I think you are right about the trauma/comfort one feels around the topic of jealousy. If it's a topic I have trauma around, it's much harder for me to have a conversation about it when someone appears to be jealous. It also has to do with the emotional maturity of the other person. My moments of envy have been mostly about things where I really had an unmet need and when I saw someone having that need apparently met, my body let me know that I wanted this too. It was mostly about having a shitty work assignment while someone else was working on something very interesting.
THIS! I love how you allowed your emotions to tell you the story about yourself. It can feel hella empowering to take those feelings and make a choice about how you want to behave thereafter.
Fake nails were invented by a white man, a white dentist specifically. So it's they culture. Acrylics were pushed most into the mainstream by Vietnamese nail salons making it available to non-rich yt folk. The styles of extra long, bejewelled and gilded nails weren't white or Vietnamese, it was a Han Chinese style made popular by Chinese nobles, and it's still seen today in their fashion. So who's getting the credit? Who's getting paid? Because it ain't Blk folk.
I never see black people demanding black people such as Beyonce pay 15% to cultures they borrow from. It seems the appreciation and appropriation ideal is an arbitrary benchmark up to the discretion of any individual and what they may or may not be feeling at the time. How do you take something like that seriously? That's the issue with many of these sociological ideals is there's no real scientific method or objective consensus to determine when these so called violations are even happening. It's hard to take seriously and I wish more black people would prioritize issues they definitely can garner benefit from than how long Marc Jacobs nails may or may not be. Notice how many other communities are very particular what they choose to go after? Whereas many blks will go after any and every little thing rather it benefits them or not. Not to mention on social media many other people who aren't even blk are always using our communities to exploit for controversy of someone they want cancelled. It's like we're used as attack dogs by people because they know we'll always react. It's like are guys not embarrassed by this, being exploited this way? Over what? Mar Jacob wearing fake nails? Please stop using our people's names over trivial things that don't profit us in any way shape or form.
I am so excited. I am a white senior Citizen. I cannot tell you how happy I am to have been able to vote for President Obama and now for Vice President Harris. Since the orange one was President, I swear he is SATAN I just want to move forward and make America happy again.
Initially I was surprised that Biden dropped out when he did. It was very late in the election year. I felt hopeless for a second and felt like Trump and the Right wing media pressure won. But then i took a deep breath and let myself get past that feeling. I considered Kamala Harris. I looked up her qualifications. I regained hope. Look i know she is not who most people picked for the Primary. But remember Biden had already chosen Harris as his Vice President. Harris is way more qualified than Trump ever pretended to be. Harris is an experienced Lawyer. She was elected to be the District Attorney of San Francisco California. She was elected to be the Attorney General for the whole State of California. She became the Senator of California. Then she became the Vice President of the United States of America. She is very experienced and very qualified to be the next President. Her biggest hurdle to overcome in this election year is the fact that she is a woman and she is not white. Let's face it. Racism and Sexism are alive and they are planning on taking power ASAP in this country. Literally the day after Bidens announcement of dropping out and endorsement of Harris. I saw DEI Candidate comments and posts all over the Internet. It sucks. People in this country are still focusing on racism and sexism. I know the DNC have to still make their official pick. But Harris is so qualified. I am hopeful. I will Vote for her We can beat Trump and Project 2025. If we all registered to Vote and Remember to do it in November. Talk to your friends and family. If the GOP are comfortable taking away women's Rights. Whose Rights are they coming for next? We can beat them. We did it last time. Because we picked one person to back. That doesn't mean we blindly agree with them. If the Heritage Foundation and Christian Nationalist Movement and the GOP Republicans get their way. They will use their playbook Project 2025 to systematically dismantle our government from the inside. They will remove anything that is used as checks and balances of power to ensure that they are the only option available. That sounds like fascist ideology to me. This country stopped Fascism in WW 2. We need to stop it now again before it is too late in this country.
@@jodyhall8731 No can do. She signed off on with Biden being complicit in Genocide. Harris needs to be replaced. In the meantime many are actually looking to Jill Stein. Harris is not the one. I am a black woman and not impressed with her at all.
@@jodyhall8731 so what blame the party. She is complicit in Genocide and more wars. I will not be apart of killing innocent people. She already said Israel comes first with little mentioned on the innocent Palestinian. No mention of Aide workers, journalists, even hostages have died because of her and Biden. Jill Stein if Harris is not replaced
Harris said "A solution needs to come quickly" I don't think she "signed" off on it, like she had much choice as VP 😂. I hate to say it but not voting for Harris or Trump is literally just throwing your vote away.
I hear you, but please don’t forget what she’s trying to teach others. Some of us don’t know what our fathers and For fathers have been through or better yet still but our parents have been through so know your history first and then educate not indoctrinate.❤
This is interesting. I haven't thought about it like that but I can say that I definitely do this and looking back, it makes alot of sense about where it comes from
38% aborted are the real Black ones. Why? BW will abort a dark-skinned baby BUT keep Zaddys white baby. Blame white woman Margaret Sanger's THE NEGRO PROJECT for our women of today.
All that education and still ignorant, particularly of tradition. First, traditionally the wife's family pays for the wedding, not the groom. The groom traditionally pays for the ring and the honeymoon. Traditionally, it was carefully laid out, often in writing, exactly what benefits each would receive and what performance was required. And if we get really traditional, the wife's family remained a refuge for the wife...she could go home to her parents from an abusive husband.
Thanks for your comment, rude though it is. This is a SMALL part of a LARGER conversation. We are talking about the ways capitalism is present in the traditional structure of relationships. Please feel free to watch the full video.
This is a question someone brought and we discussed it. The question is really are we interested in replicating harms so we can attempt to replicate their "success"
White woman Margaret Sanger's THE NEGRO PROJECT did this. -78% unwed mothers -38% abortion rate Our women glorify Baby Mama Culture. Please help warn young ladies to be different from us.
Did you know Major donor of nigal farage are muslim millionaire It shows bourgeoisie only care about their own class As Dr ruha Benjamin put it best "black faces on high places won't save us"
Being a side chick is always a bad thing, and yes, the side chick always has low self esteem. If it were about “not wanting the drama of a relationship” or being “emotionally unavailable”, there’s many people out there who feel the same and are not in a relationship. They’re not hard to find. Why not go for another single individual who is on the same frequency as you?
(This does not apply to open relationships or when the side chick/side dude doesnt know their partner is cheating.) Side chicks are attracted to the dynamic, either the drama or the feeling of "superiority" being "chosen" over the gf or wife. It makes them feel better because they are filling a hole, likely a childhood wound. There are plenty of available men down for a casual relationship, perfectly fine with hooking up without harming another person in the process. Cheating is considered a form of abuse and causes lots of damage to both the partner and to the cheater, too! It isn't worth it. Choose an open relationship or dont commit to someone if you want multiple partners. Now, to the original question: do side chicks have low self-esteem? Self-esteem is a complicated concept where you can actually have too much as well as too little, and lots of people have low self-esteem. So much so that I'm not sure it matters to point out side chicks alone on that topic. For example: Cheating is abuse, and victims have low self-esteem as a consequence.
This is very timely, thank you. I have experienced mistreatment in my family due to colourism and featurism with my sister (the pedastalised golden light skinned sibling) being the main antagonist. Its been a very isolating experience. It would be great to share and connect with others. ❤
I was a side chick. All parties aware… I was just super busy with my job and regular boyfriends didn’t get it. I worked a lot. So to put it simply I didn’t have time. I do regret it though. I should have focused on finding a better partner instead of work. Financial aspects paid off for me but relationships suffered. Lol
@@dr.donnaoriowo I am not with that person, no. We occasionally talk but both have moved out of the area. But I am with the RIGHT person now and put effort into finding the right person. I think I needed to do emotional healing before I personally was ready for a committed relationship. At the time a side chick worked so I could focus more on me than a whole relationship.
It’s undoubtedly wrong IF the person’s partner is not aware and consenting. As far as self esteem, that depends on the person. If the side chick WANTS a committed relationship but accepts bread crumbs then for sure, this is a person who does not know her worth. OTOH, it might not be a self esteem issue if the side chick wants occasional casual companionship and does not want commitment.
I think the question is based on an assumption that the cheating partner is someone with whom the “side chick” would want in a relationship. Like I’m glad he’s romantically good for you “main chick” , but some people were just enjoying the ride.
@@dr.donnaoriowo haha Yeah I’ve experienced a lot of situations where people don’t realize someone might have a different set of value, views or expression so they take their actions to mean or implicate something it doesn’t necessary implicate. But it’s kinda understandable, we can only speak from what we know or learned about…. But still they could be less judgegy lol
I think of it like I do casual relationships. Yea we see each other every so often and might even have a quick chat, but that’s not the same as my homegirls who I talked to regularly, directly and with the expectation of a certain amount of intimate emotional reciprocity. #TheresLevelsAndTypesOfFrienship Also I’ve always liked a good debate so I think I’m pretty good at de-personalizing 🤷🏿
I agree! There are definitely levels to friendships. You don't have to love, spend time with, or do the relationship the same way just because it is classified as a friendship
This is why I only have RU-vid? Once I got into it with Francesca over something that was kinda stupid and my interaction caused her harm, I decided nope, social media ain't for me. I'm still struggling with the idea of para social relationships but whats kinda cool is we are witnessing a form of human evolution. Because this wasn't a thing until recently because we frankly didn't have this access to these people, so it's kinda cool to watch But I honestly feel that social media, in it's current form, will be the downfall of humanity. I desperately wish there was a pay to play social media app
This is the first time we are getting these parasocial relationships like this. I def agree with you. I do wonder about how far the pendulum has swung (going deep into online relationships and not so much face to face). I think it will settle eventually, but I hope we can do that sooner rather than later
Lies. Lights kind women and men face colourism. They are constantly being obsessed about. Getting unsolicited attention Automatically being profiled Talents and hard work overlooked Imagine getting hate from your co-worker because they think you only got a promotion because of your looks and not you visibly hard work. Imagine people assuming that you do not hurt as much as a darker person. Imagine people assuming your relationship status Imagine people trying to tell you what you are mixed with. Imagine being told that you are not one of us.
