Awaken Joy! If you would like to bring more joy and authentic confidence into your life, lower your anxiety and remove negative self-talk so you can live the life of your dreams, this channel is for you.
Barbara Heffernan is a life coach, leading people to more self-love, self-confidence and joy. She was a psychotherapist who specialized in helping people recover from anxiety and trauma for almost two decades and is an expert in CBT and EMDR. In this channel, she integrates the best of Mindset Techniques, CBT, EMDR, Mindfulness, Buddhism and Neuroscience to help you live a sane and joyful life! You can find more information about Barbara at www.awakenjoy.life.
Barbara has a free Boundary Personality Quiz: www.boundarypersonalityquiz.com Free PDF on Transform Your Negative Core Beliefs: awakenjoy.lpages.co/negative-core-beliefs-pdf/
I was the partner, when we went to therapy she pointed out my faults; however, When it came to her, my wife came back home and said to me “she disagrees with the therapist, that’s the therapist opinion, and my feelings should not be invalidated!” I asked my wife why are we spending soo much money on a therapist if that is your response?
Even WAY before I knew there was such a thing as a narcissist, I got the definite idea from her that she felt that any love, praise, recognition shown to me was the same as taking away from her. In fact she made it clear that that was NOT going to happen. That was a lonely and hopeless place to be.
My husband said to me not so long ago I’ve never seen your mum say anything positive about you or anything u done. We been married over 35 years. That made me think of my childhood and I can’t remember her doing that of course my husband has seen negative things said.
Good spot on animals... both my narcissist girlfirends adored animals... mostly dogs and bunnies. I felt lower in the hierarchy then those pets, I was not allowed to say any true thing that could offend them (if they could understand it) like: "do you think this is healthy to kiss your doggy?"
This year i've realized i was being an arrogant person, and it was mostly inherit by my mother who could be a covert narcissist indeed, she's a woman who can be dismissive and aggressive, she's driven by fear and guilt. Unfortunately she didn't taught me how to express myself, nobody did, that's why i developed a reserved and asocial personality. Yeah, i used to be very critical of others and talk behind their back, something that my mom does, i also was self-righteous and self-absorbed, things that my mom also has, when she tries to have the upper-hand and when she gets too concerned on how she looks. All the dots connected, she's the kind of person that puts you on a pedestal, of course if she gets angry or disappointed you became the worst thing, and oh boy, when she gets hungry she has the "hangry" thing, with that, her aggressiveness and dismissiveness reaches new heights. My two brothers also have aggressiveness and deflecting stuff going on when they are questioned. My father ... was absent most of my life. Realizing i was an arrogant it was difficult because arrogance is like a huge shadow in front of you who can't let you see where you're wrong, but me being the fifth son of the family, i've finally broke the generational trauma, and i'm 24, good thing i've realized this before 30.
What matters to _us_ is highly irrelevant. Responsibility means intrinsic desires _do not exist_ You must be, and act, as expected just to continue living. Who has anything left after a lifetime of thaf?
I’m almost 42 years old and still unpacking all the trauma and emotional turmoil I experienced at the hands of my narcissistic mother. As a child, it was def covert. As I grew older and got into a relationship with another narcissist, it became very in my face. And then during Covid, I found out (shocker!) she lied to me about my father my entire life. Causing me to have abandonment issues when no real abandonment took place cause he didn’t know!! But oh she used me not having a father to her advantage to make me love her more until I finally saw through everything. Now we have very little contact. And everyday I have to remind myself that my journey in life was sort hijacked as a child and now it’s my job to keep working to move forward.
I was hit at 9 and left for dead by a driver going 30miles an hour I suffered various injuries including a head injury I can’t remember the accident but I get flashes of me driving and about to hit a kid it’s horrible it’s really affecting my sleep I’m not sleeping I just rest then get woken to these flashes … really disorganised also can’t seem to sit still
Help!! I can't stop thinking about breathing and that makes me breathless then hyperventilate and panic too. I think about my breathing so much that I do "manual breathing" even though I know that I can breathe without thinking. I had a lung xray, and my lungs are fine. I just can't shut this off in my brain. It's gotten so bad now that I won't go outside at all anymore (unless my back yard counts). I feel so utterly hopeless and alone. It's ruining my life!!!! 😢
You might want to add a warning that this video is directed at victims of such persons only. It is very judgmental, in a way no psychologist or therapist would ever be, and it is not a mean for people who suffer from this issue personally to understand themselves better and try to change their habits and the way they function internally and with others. Narcissism is a pathology that needs treatment. In a way it's like a person with COVID. You're better off keeping a safe distance until he or she gets better, but understanding the issue without judgement and keeping in mind that it ain't no fun for the person himself or herself is important too. Think about what a slightly narcissistic person trying to get help (yes they exist) will think reading the comments of this video. How would you feel if you find him or her at the other end of a rope the next day ? If you're thinking "well good riddance" right now, then IMHO you are no better at being human than narcissistic persons themselves.
I used to be my mom’s “supplier” but she latched onto my sister once I moved out. Now, she hardly acknowledges when I’m in the same room. She’s so much more excited to see my other siblings than she is to see me and I feel like she’s mad that I escaped. I’m trying to help my sister escape, but she’s very young and my mom has her in a chokehold. I ended up doing all the optional parenting for my siblings and it’s unbearable to watch them suffer at her hands. I can definitely relate to the needs to protect and people please that a lot of other children of mom narcissists seem to feel, and it’s killing me that I can’t protect my younger sister from our own mom.
I ended my engagement (we were together 4.5 years) a year ago with an individual with anti-social personality disorder. He didn't care what people thought of him (which at the time - I thought was a good/"cool" thing), drove reckless while I was in the car (going straight on a red light), hated having any sort of plans, was lawless (stealing mainly), had absolutely no organization with anything (always left a mess, had no budget), made false promises constantly (said he would pay off my student loans, got a new job as a financial advisor and told me he had a client who was going to give him $7 million dollars to manage - which we would get a big cut of - which never happened), publicly embarrassed me, gaslit me saying I was controlling, tried to turn me against my friends and family through triangulation. I was trauma bonded to him. The breakup put me into a psychosis and I was suicidal. I had no idea what was happening at the time. Through education on personality disorders, I've gained clarity. I've also been able to use the information I've learned to help me navigate all of the other relationships (past, current, future) I have in my life. Thank you for the info, Barbara!
My Dad was Bypoler He way Crippled I Lived His pain Emotions. When He Died I Knew What When he Was Going to Die 250 miles away. WHEN HE DIED I Stopped being Bypoler my Leg Stopped Hurting. A Umatilla tribe Indian, Called me a Heyoka. And I Said OK. I Help Anyone Who needs help
I’m so glad I stumbled on your video!!! I’m trying to mend the damage. My ex-wife did to my daughter I knew she was a narcissist, but I didn’t know the terminology covert narcissist!! I work away from home and she had plenty time to work on my daughter mental And her other daughter, that’s not by me do not get along!! my daughter is 19. Her daughter is in her 30s we never got along.!! Put my wife manipulates everything!! It’s so bad I can’t think right now but I am glad I found your video!!! 🙏🏾
I nearly spit out my coffee. 12 step culture if FULL OF SHAMING. Be warned, one needs to have a very strong sense of self and thick skin to deal with 12 step culture. The steps themselves are incredible. It's not the steps, it's the people.
I just had a pretty big breakthrough from watching your video… The way I burst into tears when I realised 😲😭 I’m so glad I’ve found this page… Thank you so much for taking the time to share these videos with the world 🌍 🙏🏼🙏🏼
Diet my well be a factor in Anxiety and Depression and how you are able to handle it, as well as destructive/damaged people in your life (work, play or home/family) these people can be very destructive, particularly to empathic people.
Thank you for helping me with my childhood trauma. ❤ What I get is you talking to me in bad situations and I'm beginning to understand my mind a lot more. But it's not easy. I think you are amazing. ❤ Love from Lancashire England x
Hey there, thanks for sharing this. I always thought Overt had the controversial traits and vice versa. What about a daughter with NPD? We have a daughter with Covert NPD as per your explanation. We have done quite some research on it and would love to share it with you privately.
