Indeed stupidest woman as was mentioned in the video. If her selfishness and lust for a new actions, wouldnt clouded her clear view of reality, she may see that this outcome is one of the possible and very likely option, but obviously not in this case, because she thought with her crotch, instead of her own brain. He practicly let her taste her own medicine. oooh man, always so satisfying to hear when stupid people with a wrinkled face expression "enjoying" a bitter taste of their own medicine.
the moment they realize they are replaceable, shid hits the fan and they start panicking, then all the love comes back, the want u back. HOLYYYYYYYYYYYYY the moment she mentions Open marriage/relationship its basically the end of the thing u had with her.
Ah yes, forcing an "open" relationship, play stupid games, win stupid prizes. I don't know if 0,01% of open relationships work, but it will NEVER work if it doesn't come from both sides, if (obviously as this case and 99% of others) is it asked or forced by one side, it will ALWAYS fail. It is just cheating with extra steps.
@@scaredpaul540 he learned it through her friends and based on her reactions I do believe it. She was going to try again later for sure but when she got back and saw her bf already had a gf she wanted to call it quits. Nothing went as planned for her
In modern weddings, family are extraneous. Kids just want to have a big party with their friends and get as drunk as possible with no adults around. Realize this now, or after your feelings have been hurt. They don't care.
So, she wanted to get married, so instead asking/talking about it, she just acted like a horrible person/partner. Why would OP want to marry her when she started acting worse than she ever was before. It makes no sense.
even after 17 years she was still being told what to do by her mom? yeah dont bother calling her back or feeling any guilt at this point. redditors like twisting peoples words.
S1, NTI, he didn’t pretend, he didn’t make excuses, he took his lumps, it was his ex wife that poisoned the well and then got the guilts, he at least realised the relationship was severed. The hidden agenda? The ex wife realised she had cheated her daughter out of the support of a Father AND her inheritance!
OP has saved himself some big headaches in the future. Playing mind games and using "tests" are a common way so many women ruin their relationships because it demonstrates a lack of maturity and trust.
"Birthdays aren't an excuse to show favoritism?" Is this woman really that stupid? If there is one time a year where a child should be getting what they want from their parents, if they can afford it, it's their birthday.
Commenter took that very personal. Op was cold…but not necessarily the asshole. The fact that he took all the time to speak and reply and update means he wants that relationship but the fear of losing it once is probably holding him back or not who know s
I remember this story. OP's wife was truly and well into la-la land, thinking she was going to get away with this. That she was so quick to accuse him of insecurity and male toxicity for not accepting her having an extramarital affair is just ass backwards. She can stall the divorce as long as she likes, but the marriage is over, whether she accepts it or not.
He made a mistake but the daughter chose to cut all contact and that’s the decision that she has to live with. Some decisions can make one person feel regret after time passes and the ones who have been cut off can become very hard and honest about their feelings about that person.
I do get you feeling like that, but the last part seems a bit like you’re just being vindictive. Easy to say, though since I’ve never been put into that situation.
This whole situation is a failed group project, OP messed up big time but his ex wife also did by encouraging the daughter to cut contact and the daughter messed up by cutting contact for so long Plus the daughter largely reached out because the ex wife felt guilty so if the ex wife didn't say anything, OP most probably wouldn't be making the post. Last thing, 17yrs is more than enough time for OP to basically move on with his life, I don't know why the Reddit comments assumed this guy would just pause his life and wait for her
When you cheat and betray your spouse you're doing it to your children as well. He still excuses it to this day as "she was being abused" I don't agree with the daughter cutting contact but it didn't surprise me at all he didn't want to be a grandfather as he was always a bad father. Deadbeat from beginning to end.
Ho dear you may not be having a criminal record, but a call to arrest you on spousal abuse is going to be kept in less she tells the truth, so in the future any thing happens to a new girlfriend -wife you are the number one suspect not just because you are her partner but you have a record of abuse
I will never speak to her myself, but if you ever make peace with your sister make sure she know if she ever come closer than 20ft from your next girlfriend she will be out of your life forever
On one hand, teen daughter buying mom's overdone stories ["terrible things"- OP cheated, we have no evidence for anything else] and then breaking contact and maintaining that policy 17 years, is excessive. OP cheated on her mom, he didn't beat or kill her, and he didn't do anything to the daughter at all except love her, and the breakdown of the marriage seemed baked in the cake even before the affair, so OP is far from wholly to blame. Plus, daughter maintained the policy far into adulthood, during years when life experience might have been expected to teach her better about how life works. So those factors work in favour of OP's choice not to resume contact. On the other hand, give me a break. She was still a teen when it started, and teens are all self-involved, petulant, stupid, idealistic [I repeat myself, slightly], and yet paradoxically moralistic, and neither see nor understand nuance. And decisions that enormous once taken, take many years to see in another light. Happens all the time, everywhere. Plus she, like OP, had life to live and day to day, year to year problems. Time gets away from all of us. Hoo boy. She has reached out now, hoping to be a daughter, and offering a grandchild. OP has so little left now that he's meditating on waiting for death when still in his 60s. And now he, in his 60s, is taking the hard stance she took as a stupid teen and 20 something, and he ought to know better. We get one life, it's short, and his is almost done, relatively speaking. He should take a chance.
Yes OP screwed up and got caught up in his co-workers life and it went too far. OP admitted his mistake and accepted the consequences. The daughter made a conscious choice to cut OP off. OP is still a human being that has a life to live and a future to build under less then ideal circumstances. For the daughter to call out of nowhere after so many years. It's like cutting open an old wound. It doesn't really matter who's fault is was. People make mistakes. There is only so much a person can do before completely moving on and leaving everything else behind. I think the question that is in the OP's mind is, "would his daughter have called if not for her own child's questions"?
How is he a terrible person? He messed up pretty badly but the daughter made her own decision. Why is it that men loose their family when they cheat but women don't? I hate this double standard. The daughter cut contact with him and he decided to move on. What else do people want OP to do? Stay hung up on the daughter for 17 years. Are you fucking mad?? I would have moved on as well. Cut your losses and move on. No wonder the OP doesn't feel the love to be a grand father. 70% is the daughter's fault for cutting contact and 30% is his for hurting his wife. He messed up. He owned those bad choices and moved on. PEOPLE WOULD MUCH RATHER SEE SOMEONE STAY HUNG UP ON THEIR PAST RATHER THAN MOVE ON!!!!
Everything about his conduct just screams “cop out” after him being the one that caused the divorce and bad blood in the first place. Lack of responsibility from him. He cheated, and then is just so ready to never have contact ever again. Godawful father figure, no compassion and no tolerance. He feels nothing because he is opting out of being a father and grandfather. He’s a deadbeat dad and a cheater. And he should do better for the family’s sake (given he broke it in the first place) but he doesn’t care. He just wants out with no effort to fix anything.
and what of the grandchildren that had nothing to do with this? Any family man would see this as abandonment of them as well when they did nothing but want to see him
@@darthbiscuitabsolutely. You would only behave this way if you never really wanted your family in the first place. To put to little effort in, cheat on them and walk away so readily means he’s a bad father looking for an excuse to exit. Cold heart and no regrets.
@@Shblibble The irony is that if the roles were reversed no one would be castigating the mother for the exact same behavior. Reddit is full of 15 year old angsty kids and people with 2 brain cells. It's a cesspit. Dude is an asshole for cheating. But we don't know what happened with the divorce beyond "wife poisoned daughters mind" which isn't new. Look at that break dancing dad story. What was he supposed to do? Pine for years and yeas in hopes that she just comes back into his life and wants to rekindle a relationship? It's not fair to him. Not only that, but the original post literally says that the mother felt bad/guilty about how things went down so she was pushing daughter to reconnect. Not surprised none of you (the Reddit commentors) missed that...or seek to just ignore it.
No absolutely did the right thing. You gave your brother the choice, to stay or leave. I'm pretty sure if this set any longer than it did, especially because the kid is three. It would have been much worse and if they had any more kids. It might not seem like it now, but down the line when your brother finds a really good woman. And has his own kids for real, you know you did the right thing. Even though I'm a woman. If any of my siblings knew that my spouse was cheating on me, I would rather than tell me even if it destroys my life in the moment. I would rather want to know.
