Talking through the various stories of my life with trusted friends, pastors, and counselors has helped not only my daily life with people but my realization of my life with the Lord !
I love the imagery used of our Heavenly Father and our love and correction towards our own children. “We dont stop loving them” but it’s His kindness that draws us to agree with Him in confession and repentance. Where would we be without his grace and loving kindness?!
I loved this episode. Especially when it comes to drawing other people out when they come for advice. Seeing what they know about Scripture is so important because it so often shapes their view of their problem I think. I’m really working on asking more questions and drawing people out.
I like to ask specific questions that’s going to give a better understanding of the presenting problem. For example, if someone says they have depression and coming in for grief of a recent loss, I should not automatically assume the depression presenting originated with this specific loss or their present grief. It often intensifies previous suffering. I can give advice to help with the depression overall, but if I am not finding the root of their hopelessness then it won’t do much good. A lot of incidents build up over time and frames our functional theology. I also like asking them questions like, “how do you cope?” This one really tells me a lot about their relation to God and where they go for comfort. If they aren’t going to God is their false beliefs or do they just not know how to biblically grieve or express themselves? It varies for each individual person, so it’s all the more important to ask lots and lots of questions to grow in understanding. Much like Alex mentioned, one Scripture or in my experience, “bandaid approach” does not fit every unique and individual person’s presenting problems. Draw them out and listen and seek to understand. For example, I like to ask questions too like, “When did your depression start?” Then I like to dig a little deeper. I ask them what was going on in their life at this time when they say their depression started many years ago, especially if they don’t give a specific event. I recently had someone come in for a recent loss, but had not yet grieved another close immediate family member’s loss from 19 years prior that was pretty traumatic and another from 2 years prior. I asked if they were able to grieve the older losses. If they say no, then you can begin to identify grief work or trauma that needs to be processed individually. However, if I did not draw them out and ask questions, we continue to put surface level bandaids on a “big picture” presenting issue, when there is really tons going on under the surface to give us the presenting problem. I also think of Proverbs 18:13 that says to fully listen to a matter before we give an answer or it’s foolish. Drawing out and asking questions is going to help us get a better understanding of how their thought processes has led them to where they are currently and where we need to identify lies and replace with truths etc. in their current functional theology. So yes, lots and lots of questions! They are huge!
So sorry Jason, that's really really hard. We are so comforted in knowing that we have a God who weeps with us, He bends down and gently enters our suffering with us. Praying you know He is near.
