im sorry if no one cares about what i will say, i just need somewhere to get it out of my chest so ive been with someone on the internet just talking here and there, he is about to turn 19 and i am sitting at 26, he came to my house (something no one's ever done before, i always had to go visit people out, but still i had to pay for his tickets) and it was a 7 to 8 hour travel time on bus, he stayed two nights and those were the most beautiful days of my life, i felt like i meant something to someone. but what kills me is that i used to tell him i love you now and then, but he never did back, i know he had some trouble with relationships before, but man i almost got the full feeling, now it doesnt feel like he is really in love with me at all, barely says anything, barely shows affection, man even in a social game called vrchat he presents me as a friend around his friends and all, which eats me from the insides, but i say nothing because i respect his privacy and all. but ive always been stomped on by everyone, people just being with me bc of my financial situation, connections and to get something from me, or they just hang one night and just ghost me the next day. i never get any love that i ever wanted, its always me giving full commitment, it feels like i am unlovable, always being left behind, i dont know what i do wrong, i try to be there always for them and care for them, i just want to give up on everything. im unlovable
