New videos at least twice weekly! From a "fellow traveler" on the path towards Conscious Consumerism.
My purpose here is to provide a safe space for you to hang out, find company and community through ideas, and never feel influenced to buy stuff - if anything, hopefully the opposite.
This inaugural year (2024) is my no-buy diary: consumerism reflections, wardrobe exploration, decluttering, and financial goals...all from a regular person trying to move from constant consumerism, to Conscious Consumerism.
Let's deinfluence overconsumption through personal change, and experience the joy of our things by using what we have!
I’m an Aquarius also! Happy belated birthday❤ I know it’s been a minute since you made the video but re: working out-there tons of free workout videos on RU-vid!
I don’t have or watch tik-tok and this reinforces why I will never use it. This video was so cringy I had to pause the parts with the influencer just to keep from getting so annoyed. I don’t know why it triggers me so much-the insincerity? The shallowness? The crazy overconsumption? You’re so much kinder than me-I hate to say this but I don’t think I’d ever be friends with somebody like this is real life. Thanks for the video! Keep it up-we are here with ya!!
Right? I never want to go back there, to the wild west of tiktok. And yeah I don't think I'd be jumping to begin a friendship with someone like this, but if they had been my friend from before who had "gone astray", those are the things I'd be thinking and wondering. Just a lens for compassionate criticism, because I don't like blasting random people on the internet 😅
This was such a timely video for me, thank you. You helped me realize that I do shop as a hobby far too much. It's easy to lie to yourself about that but once you see it, you can't unsee it. I think that alone will go a long way toward changing my attitudes and therefore my behaviors so thank you!
Yes! There's several "once you see it you can't unsee it" moments happening for me this year. What I can't help but wonder is why I wasn't seeing these seemingly obvious things before 🤔
This was so good! Thank you for being so raw and real with this. It helps to see it all accumulated, really makes me realize how much we are influenced.
Excessive merch. Even Costco did this. Why is it popular to support creators/influencers/random brands with below the minimum merch and logo pride? The US cultural collapse resulted in many never genuinely belonged to any healthy social group or hobby. Liking the same branded merchandise or products is the only tribal belonging they genuinely have.
Sit and people watch next time you’re at the mall …look at the number of people with shopping bags etc. you’ll notice that they aren’t dressed nice. Leggings/messy bun/Tshirt…. Not the Pinterest, marketing we see (fantasy self) That reminds me to take time with a classic purchase
I would recommend finding something to do instead of shopping. Get a library card and read more. Start a crochet project and do a little bit every day. Plan something for your free time that does not require lots of spending and makes you feel good. I go on a hike/long walk on the weekends and always feel happy and relaxed afterwards. :)
I am really enjoying your videos. I have seen plenty of “no buy” channels, but none have approached the topic with the same level of intelligent reflection. I loved what you said in another video about HLP’s insistence on the nobility of loving beautiful things - your assertion that beautiful things are in fact just things, really articulated what made me uneasy about that approach to consumerism, and I’ve thought about that a lot since. Re this video, I definitely have a brand I'm loyal to, and it fulfils the functions that you mention in terms of shielding me from other brands - but I also found that my loyalty started to blind me to what I really like and want. It was like I had replaced my sense of style with theirs. Not good.
I mentioned this in a recent video too...I think again what HLP is talking about regarding beautiful things, is getting at the "art" that companies try to infuse their products with so that people who "love beauty" will be attracted to and buy them. It's kind of an aside because the video is actually about how my personality "type" might have led me to be more influence-able than average (or not, that is the question). That one will probably be out next week! Thank you for your comment!!
Really appreciating the idea of slow decluttering. I always felt a panic like I have to get to a certain number or suffocating in stuff but then I make a decluttering regret or mistake. Uggh. Anyway thanks for bringing this concept to my attention!
Do you have an old plate/trivit/tile something you can santise to use as a tray for your oral hygiene things? I find coralling things, especially when they're not particularly aesthetic, can help look less cluttered. 99% something you don't need to buy new! (or thrifted)
Hi Alexa! I would recommend Pilates over yoga actually. As someone with a chronic injury, it’s been very helpful. I use the Lindywell App but you can also find her videos on RU-vid many of which are perfect for squeezing in (5, 10, 15 min) The instructor, Robin Long, also has scoliosis and specifically points out the exercises that have helped her with that. The other instructor I really love can also be found on RU-vid and that is Jessica Valant. She is a physical therapist as well so I love that many of her workouts are also aimed at certain issues or conditions. She has more content on RU-vid than Lindywell and again lots of shorter form routines. She also has tons of beginner content and her instruction is very clear. I’m not super coordinated so I find that really helpful 😅
Oh that's great! Thank you for the recommendations, I'm definitely going to look into all of those and see if I can get something started (because unfortunately this is STILL yet to happen for me 😅)
When I see something online that tempts me to buy, I immediately go read the one and two star reviews about that item. I then usually realize that it isn't really something I want or need, and is just low quality stuff that i can pass on buying.
Yes! I think I mentioned this wayyyy back - I read some negative reviews of the owala water bottle I was tempted by and "gave myself the ick" about buying it, as the kids say 🙃
I think you’re being really hard on yourself, i understand wanting to do a no buy year (though i believe conscious spending and a low buy are easier to keep up with) but if its gonna make you feel like you’ve done something bad each time you buy something like a hair clip then it’s not very helpfull to stop you from shopping. I think if you force yourself to write what you want to buy and give it one day to think about it, you will stop most times.
Yeah it was a bit like trying to run before I could walk, but the good news is I think I have learned a lot even from failing...and perhaps even more importantly I found true motivation. So hoping for a smoother second half of the year 😄
I’m not into meditation these days, but from my previous experience - 5 min is a hella ambitious goal! I’d cap it at 2 min, but really just one. Baby steps, as you say, but in fact 1-1,5 min is quite enough to try out this really curious head-emptying thing without stealing too much from your precious time-to-decompress. 5 min sounds pro-level to me, just sayin
Things I knew wouldn't work for me - faux leather pants and denim maxi skirts. Not even tempted to buy either. That rust colored suede jacket though is not bad - it looks better on you than you think it does (if you wore it with a black turtleneck you would have a great look for fall/winter.)
Thank you! I think what throws me off is that to me it also reads very "classic" and I'm just not sure about that either - but I'll be giving it another try this year! I might put a twist on your idea with a gray turtleneck just because I seldom wear black unless I'm performing (and then I always wear black, which is why I don't in daily life 😅)
I used a green powder and it gave me nausea, tiredness and muscle aches. Found out they are full of concentrated vegetable oxalates in a way we are not meant to consume in nature. Just eat real vegetables, there is no magic in the powder only concentrated processed crap.
I think there’s a delicate line between “content creator” and “influencer” and not every toes that line well… I don’t mind when someone has a chance to support their creation/art with ads-lord knows that so many artists cannot afford to pursue their art because it costs so much to live. Being able to create for a living has largely been for the already well-off and I appreciate that it’s been democratized to an extent. If someone creates content that I enjoy, I’m happy to watch an ad here and there so that they have the time and resources to make the thing I like watching (some of my favorites: Ariel Bisset, Rachel Maksy). What I DONT like, however, are creators who *only* sell products. These people/platforms that only share “here’s what I bought/was sent, and here’s why you need it.” I will say some people that start in one camp can trend towards the second, putting ads in every single one of their videos, and that’s always disappointing. But at the end of the day, I feel like the onus is on me, the consumer, to be wise enough not to buy everything sold to me. Obviously, that’s easier said than done, since we’re all here 😅
Agreed! I just filmed one last video on this subject (for next week probably) basically saying exactly that - comparing influencers vs. content creators and how they often become a hybrid, but when that happens it's up to us to decide whether the value is still there in watching/trying to dodge the ads!
I am so excited to have found your channel! I’m a violinist too and I just finished school and have been doing auditions. This year was super hard for me with all the rejections, and I turned to shopping to cope with my negative emotions. My consumerism quickly spiraled out of control and I am looking to regain my sense of self. So nice to feel less alone!
I am likewise so happy to welcome you here, wow that's relatable. I am thinking about how "failure" at one of my biggest life goals, which in my case is also specifically audition rejection, has nudged me towards overconsumerism and will eventually speak about this on here too! Best of luck at any upcoming auditions (I really need to get in gear for some this Sept) - don't give up, unless you want to! 😁
I wanted a job at a consignment store so I bought two items and took them in to the interview. I used the items to demonstrate my good taste and selling ability! Didn't get the job but the boss told me she loved that approach!🤷
@bthomson haha if only we were allowed to talk and show our character at symphony auditions but alas, we get about 5 minutes of playing our instrument, behind a screen, to show the full extent of our ability and good taste. We don't even get to choose the music we play. They give us a list!
The cobalt blue pants! 😍 Not a color I could pull off but the style is amazing! I think those and believe it or not the faux leather pants looked the best!
5:28 i used to think i should get an item because of how i havent seen an item like that before and i should buy it before it sells out or ill regret it, but 95% of the time theres something similar enough and i dont need to rush. Granted this makes me spend too much time researching which is a separate problem...
I wonder if the "research" can somehow be put on a "to-do" list where you then forget about it, like how some people use wishlists. I currently do not keep a physical wishlist anywhere as you may know, but if you tell your brain "hey I'll research that LATER" with the idea that if it's truly important to you, you will remember, don't stress about forgetting... and then go do something else, maybe you'll organically forget at least some of the time? Let me know if you try it haha
I think this is so true. But it doesn’t help me that you have your Polène bags stacked behind you. Makes me want to look at their website. 😬🙈 it’s so much about discipline.
Oh no! Haha maybe I should rearrange things so it's just the cardboard boxes 😅 the thing is, those shelves/bags are my legitimate bedroom decor, not a "video background"! But I'm definitely not trying to become a Polene "influencer". Hmmm...
You asked about a greens product. I use Amazing Grass and it’s like $21. I can’t feel a difference, I’m just going off my brother’s recommendation that somehow it’s making me healthier. I can’t say that I’m not influenced, but your video really highlights how short form content is so much more influencing than RU-vid, which is influencing enough. I’m not a paragon of restraint, so I’m glad I don’t use those apps.
Yes I've stopped using them as well and it's been great. So I tried a greens powder and will never be doing that again, I realized it's definitely not something I need in my life. You live and you learn... 🫣
Just a note re: sustainability and fashion brands, whether it becomes relevant to you further down the line or if anyone else is looking for info, a good, easy-to-use, free resource for checking brands' sustainability and ethics claims is the Good On You directory. But maybe don't look at it yet, as when you search a brand it helpfully signposts you to similar brands with better ratings, which could maybe be a bit tempting 😂😅
Thanks for sharing this resource! Where I'm at right now, I'm skeptical that I'll EVER need to actually buy new clothing ...but I'm sure the time will come 😆
it's interesting to me, when I HAVE to buy something like pants it's suddenly not fun anymore. shows me that it's not about buying stuff, but more about emotional regulation
Right? When it actually MATTERS and you know you're using the pants for utilitarian purposes and want them to look good + do the job, it's not actually fun even if the "motions" are the same! Thank you for bringing this up!
I certainly could - but, I'm actually not on tiktok right now, and avoid shorts these days, so I've only learned about this trend through other creators' videos on it! And I also have about 3-4 weeks of videos planned already (yeah it's a bit crazy over here) so by the time I get to it, the "trend" may even be over. But that might actually add an interesting perspective in talking about it. So - maybe I will - it remains to be seen 👀 Sorry if that's frustrating and sorry that if I do talk about it, it won't be soon 😅
@@Alexas.nobuyyear I also don't have a TikTok account and have only learned about it through long-form vids from other low buy RU-vid channels! I'll be curious to hear your take if/when you decide to post about it.
@xCopyAndPasteSkilzx thank you! And I do appreciate the request. I have actually noticed that even the smaller channels that did videos reacting to underconsumption have gotten over a hundred thousand views on their videos 👀, I guess that's what trending topics can do! Maybe after all the no-buy thoughts are out of my system I'll be quicker to jump onto the trend reactions (and maybe by then I'll be prepared for that kind of attention, if that were to happen to me haha 😳)
Since I consume more no buy content now, I am more aware of/find jarring how much I'm being advertised to while scrolling RU-vid, even just in thumbnails and video titles. Eg. "Add to cart" "you need this!" I definitely feel more innoculated these days. I'm curious whether I'll continue to feel this way, or whether I need to keep watching more no buy content in order to keep my "antibodies"' high.
Yes IT'S EVERYWHERE, and even in language creators use: "I'm obsessed with this purchase" etc. - it's a little jarring and disturbing after I've stepped back!
I'm curious, and I guess I'll find out, if you repurposed your lipstick container! I have a nice tube that I liked, and once the lipstick ran out, I just replaced the lipstick in it with my lip balm (which comes in much more branded plastic packaging).
When it comes to shopping for clothes, figuring out my actual personal style has been very helpful. I often used to buy new clothes mostly because I wasn't satisfied with what I had. I got inspired by creators (often crafters) with cool personal styles and I thought I'd like to look like them, but ended up not really wearing the inspired stuff because it didn't feel like me, and then I kept being unsatisfied and shopped for more (in moderate amounts though, but still more than I needed). So figuring out why it didn't feel like me and what actually did and why has helped me to say no to many items. Some things are just not for me even though I admire them on others.
Yes, 100% yes. This is exactly what I've got lined up for some "style in the era of influence" videos in a couple weeks' time! You've got it figured out - but I'm going to rehash it with my own examples anyway haha
Whenever i go to the grocery atore for a couple partocular items, i always get a basket and not a cart. If i get a cart, i will 100% buy more things. Baskets limit me to my arm strength. 😂 Especially helpful when i go to the boujee store for my favorite plant based milk and creamer.
I'm just going to add my tid bit. I started "building my wardrobe" these last few years. Before that, my wardrobe had been a desert of options and as I get older, I appreciate that I now have more options to dress like an adult, in adult situations. However, yes this has been a trial and error practice so some mistakes were made but we are learning and will do better in the future. Thank you for your video. I love your channel. You speak my language.
Guilty: I've definitely watched declutter videos because they're satisfying, even after I had all the techniques I was using in place already. Most of the time they're not about encouraging sustained change (which is something I think you're doing really well), but about getting engagement from people who want that vicarious feeling of 'virtue' from decluttering without thinking about, as you said, the reason why that clutter is there in the first place. I've stumbled into 'haul' videos or 'I bought dupes of these famous dresses online' videos, and while some mention what they're doing with the items after the video, most don't. And if they're releasing these videos all the time, I'm just like...where is it all going??? It's just so much waste. I'm so sorry for all the comments. I'm still knitting (gift) and it's easy to have your videos going in the background. Plus I'm getting the benefit of all your introspection!
But now I'm like, do I get vicarious 'virtue' from your videos, or am I going to make sustained changes? And if I do make sustained changes, have I truly thought about my own motivations, or am I piggybacking.
Please don't apologize for comments, seriously! I and others who find themselves here may benefit from reading them. For example here when you say "have you thought about your motivations or are you just piggybacking" - this is a much more clear way of articulating something I've been thinking a LOT about recently, about how so much of what we are "told" is surface level advice and while we can DO these things it doesn't really have true effect unless we FEEL them - i.e., have our own motivations! Thank you!
You know what's crazy? Im listening to Alexa and I think "wow she's so deep, knowledgeable and considerate. How could such a smart girl fall in the trap of overconsumption"? And I think the same about myself and yet, here we all are ladies. Everyone's smart but right now I'm looking at my wish list on ebay and depop and I'm a little ashamed. I'm glad Alexa started this channel and provides such interesting fresh points. Also she has that calm charisma (not to be confused with being meh and blah. Yes, Useless and Christina Mychas, I'm looking at you). Thank you Alexa and good luck to all of us!
Exactly! Not that I'm deep, knowledgeable and considerate necessarily (but thank you 🥹) but that we are all smarter than the trap of "being influenced" - it's time to get to the bottom of why this does still happen to us! It's a personal journey that we can take together 😄
If Alexa ever wonders why she started this channel we hope that she remembers all the people she is effecting to better their relationship to shopping! A worthy goal!
Love the jacket! I think the plaid doesn’t do you justice; it’s not cool enough to be in one of your outfits. It says suburban homestead mom, which is a great look for some! But after watching all of your videos in the last two weeks, I think suave uniquely expressive mom is more you. ✨
I completely agree and I'm pleasantly surprised that someone picked up on that! I've never worn this shirt "out" but for now it's still a practical home item especially with the whole baby phase and not caring if it gets spilled on 😂
Out of these strategies, I’m best at talking myself out of things. I’m one of those people who is chronically online 😂 so I am seeing so many products on a daily basis but I have my reasons for things I don’t buy and I (usually) do a good job about complying with my “rules.” I also like to hang out at the mall and will go window shopping as my exercise (it’s too hot to walk outside) but I definitely have to watch myself to avoid any impulse purchases. I do have a budget and so in a sense I do take away the money and put that money towards other financial goals such as emergency savings or paying down debt, that I think has helped me the most. If I ever really want something then I can usually wait until next month when my budget resets! At least I’m doing my best 😅 Also, I have a pretty good idea of the amount I need for miscellaneous spending and so far the amount has been working for me. Even though I allow myself some fun spending, I do still talk myself out of things all the time!
If you've got the energy and willpower to talk yourself out of things, great! 💪More power to you and at the end of the day, the best we can do IS to "do our best" 😁
Honestly the awkward transitions are a vibe, and feel like an accidental commentary on the ridiculous nature of TikTok and the odd contortions influencers put themselves through just to get someone to buy something so that they may continue to receive free things that they will have to pay tax on. Apologies for the run-on sentence. It’s reflective of my postpartum mood of late.
