Good stuff! Getting free of the "trying to prove myself" trap and living from a place of love and awareness of my true identity instead of struggling to "earn" love has been a game changer for me. (And an ongoing journey).
Hey love this pod! I recently went through a break up with my fiance of 5 years I was planning to adopt her daughter who is now 4 years old and I’ve been in her life since she was 4 months old. At first I was so blindsided. But watching this pod and watching other content creators and therapy I see it so much now I’m anxious attachment. I was super co dependent on how she felt and over texting etc and she was a avoidant and no we are both working on ourselves and co parenting atm. Thank you for this man keep it up !
Thank you so much for your comment brother. You sound like a solid man stepping into that step parent role so confidently. The first steps to change are in self awareness and it seems like you have an abundance of that. Keep showing up the way you are. I'm glad I could help a little bit !
White girl dating a shorter smaller asian man. After three years loving him regardless of his height, he dropped the bomb that he feels insecure with me and think that we dont fit or look okay together because Im taller and have thicker legs... it really broke my heart, 3 years.... I love him with all my heart.
wow that's really unfortunate and I hope he gets the help he needs to start loving himself more. good on you for loving unconditionally ! height is one of the many insecurities lots of men have regardless of race.
@@acetrizzie toxic masculinity is defined as a set of attitudes and ways of behaving stereotypically associated with or expected of men, regarded as having a negative impact on men and on society as a whole. The idea that men shouldn’t be “emotional like women”, that talking about your feelings is feminine, expressing those feelings is weak. These set of beliefs and attitudes are taught and reinforced by the patriarchy and are what lead to the decline in men’s mental health. And it’s also why so many suffer in silence to begin with because again, it’s looked down upon and shameful to be open about those negative but very real experiences of depression/anxiety and suicidal ideation. Kudos to you guys for breaking the stigma and giving other men and masculine presenting people a safe space to discuss these topics openly!!
@@arnoldciampaglia1899 I think possibly if we come up with different terms to deal with some of our issues as men. In my opinion the term 'Toxic Masculinity' brings a negative energy to men in general or at least perceived by many men in my experience. Words matter. Thanks for the input though.
@@TitforTat6 I don’t believe there’s any shame or negativity in acknowledging parts of ourselves that are toxic. It’s not unique to men. There are parts of women’s culture that can be toxic as well. Pointing and calling these things out doesn’t mean that an entire gender is bad or wrong, it reminds us of the work we need to do. Totally understand the negative stigma that is associated with the term and I do believe many have a misunderstanding of what it means but as adults I think we can agree that teaching young boys that they shouldn’t cry or show weakness is wrong and leads to negative outcomes later in life, mainly the inability to regulate emotions or to open up about issues we are facing which only continues the cycle and leads to even bigger issues like domestic abuse or suicide. It’s conversations like these that help to break that stigma and help other men understand why it’s important to strive to be better. Cheers 🍻
@@arnoldciampaglia1899 I agree with pretty much all you are saying, the one area that concerns me is the term we are using. I dont believe there is a comparative when it comes to any other gender and from my perspective maybe we would be better served using other means to describe our negative behaviour. Words do matter, on many levels. Thanks for the input and discussion. I think we both want a similar outcome for all our boys and men. Cheers.❤
How do you define masculinity? How has the stereotype of masculinity affected you? - 8:31 What it means to be a man - 13:37 Let’s hug it out -17:29 There’s a healthy side to masculinity and a toxic side - 18:48 The importance of being in the right community -26:23 Why is it so important for men to post anonymously about their mental health? - 32:31 Step out of the shadow of anonymity - 40:08 Why it’s important to create a safe space for men to talk about their feelings - 45:27 What were the men feeling during the fashion show? - 50:19 Men’s health and sexual health in general - 54:40 What is redefining masculinity and why is it changing? - 58:06 Men’s struggle with identity and identity - 1:02:12 What are the roles? Do they even exist? What are the expectations? - 1:06:34 What’s your family legacy? - 1:07:24 The power of asking questions to get people to connect with themselves - 1:11:29 There’s no paradigm that same-sex relationships need to fall into - 1:16:02 Anti-label vs. anti-brand - 1:20:17 The importance of being a good dad - 1:24:07 The role of fatherhood in Eric’s life - 1:29:52 What are your thoughts on emerging environmental factors that are damaging to men? - 1:33:16 Why it’s important not to shame people when it comes to using these things - 1:35:27 When did you get the first sign of erectile dysfunction in men? - 1:40:42 What are some tactics we can do not to own to not only recognize when triggers hit, but also to let others know that something is up? - 1:46:25 The importance of having a code word - 1:47:03 You’re screwing up their reality - 1:50:41 How do you see positive masculinity being expressed in daughters vs sons? - 1:55:25 How to shift from toxic masculinity to healthy masculinity - 2:00:12 If it’s a community that is exercising ultra-aggression, what do you think? - 2:08:35 Take it easy on yourself, forgive yourself, be compassionate and be compassionate - 2:13:49
Welcome to the panel. 0:00 Why is there so much suffering among men? 6:48 Darrell’s take on the stigma of “stigma”. 12:48 What’s the definition of a man? 19:55 Don’t lead with a negative lead. 22:10 Darryl’s evolution in the public service. 27:28 What’s your favorite moment of self-discovery? 33:36 When does masculinity become toxic and toxic? 37:20 Mental health resources for men and masculinity. 42:39 Don’t judge the stereotypes. 47:27 What role do women play in the world of men’s health? 54:27 Stereotypes feed on each other, so it’s difficult to get rid of them. 1:01:34 Statistics about mental health in the workplace. 1:10:30 JF's struggles with depression and anxiety. 1:13:21 Therapy is all about repeating repeating until you don’t need it. 1:20:03 When you talk about these things, you have to be careful with the type of information you're dealing with. 1:23:10 How can we change our brain to cultivate happiness? 1:29:18
I remember it happening pretty prominently where I was too all of 2020 you're right. A lot goes unreported as a lot of us are just so used to being treated poorly and discriminated against. I'm glad to see it changing. I think the fact that people are caring a lot will encourage a lot of others to speak out.
@@arandomasian6653 the sad truth is some people didn't care before. Some people don't care now and alot of people aren't going to care tomorrow. I think it's on us to continue to shine a light on the problems. The world we live in is extremely short sighted.
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sorry for the late reply man here they were and you can catch up in the full video I have posted to my channel 1. How bad does it get some days as an executive? 2. is the topic of mental health discussed amongst your peers at the executive level professionally and personally? 3. what is the message that you have for your employees, colleagues and superiors about mental health and wellness? 4. describe mental hygiene to me (directed at Steven) what are some things that you do to make sure your mental hygiene is taken care of?
I think people who "don't find so-and-so race attractive" are a bit racist. Attractive people are attractive. Period. My boyfriend is Asian and is irrationally confident. He's never had trouble dating. It also helps that he's very good looking. But he just stayed away from people who "weren't into asians." There's plenty of people of other races who would date an Asian guy. I just suggest finding those people. I don't know how exactly he does it, but I think it's helpful to be open to new experiences and going on dates just to see how it goes (even if your goal is just to have fun or to meet someone nice).
Are you sure you Vietnamese brother? lolYou look more indian. I have to say you don't look Vietnamese bro. Just being honest not cruel.Could I ask are your parents 100 % Vietnamese?
What about girls? Masturbation through porn has a negative effect on us too,you know :D I know I feel empty and used afterwards,it's because it is so violent and abusive,in porn everything is about penetration. I love you by the way,you are amazing! <3 I want a guy who is doing nofap too hahah :) Thank you for everything and all this great informations you are giving to us :) I would just love to see women talking about it also :D
Hey I'm sorry that I wasn't able to get to this question until years later! This is a very interesting point you're making and I'm not really too sure what the answer is! The dangers for men lie in the fact that dopamine plays a large role in what's happening for us. I would imagine if the same thing is happening for girls it would be just as destructive as well. Thank you so much for the kind words and support. I hope to continue to make and release more videos consistently now in 2019 and beyond!!
i us to just want to date white guys until my Asian man found me and now i want to know more about other cultural s my mom and dad always said one date white guys so i had that in my head for the longest time and my little sister is so into the Asian cultural and then i got into it more cause of her and cause of my boyfriend now and he is Asian i wish when i was younger i dated more diffident races so people don't lease to your parents do what u want and your family will come around to i hope mine dose lol
Thanks for your vid, I'm starting no fap as when It comes to sleeping with real girls I can't get a strong erection. Is ED what you had and if it was how long did it take for you to get out of it. Thanks
yeah, i'm a little embarrassed to answer that question on here but it was definitely a problem. It also gets extremely discouraging every time too so be patient. I was able to get my "mojo" back pretty quickly. about a month or so in. the key is to not beat yourself up when things aren't "hard as they seem" haha. be patient, keep your mind out of it, and be natural. thanks for sharing!
Coach Acie Yeah re-reading what I said, I respect that cheers for answering so honestly. It was only speaking to friend who had the same issue with a girl when he mentioned 'nofap' and his recent improvement. So little about the effects of pornography are known, Im not even a regular user 3-5 times a week over the last 4-5 years. It's not like I'm an addict and it's still had that affect on me.
What are your thoughts on choosing not to date outside of culture/race because of family and heritage? I've had Asian friends, as well as friends of other cultures, who are "1st generation" (meaning their parents are originally from another country) mention not wanting to date outside of their race because of what their parents wants them to bring home, someone of their own kind... As if they want to extend and hold on to their culture/heritage. I am not totally against dating only your race, I just think people should keep their eyes and hearts open to what ever may be out there for them. Relationship is beyond skin deep. I'm curious to know your thoughts on this.
Hey, that's a great question. Family and culture is definitely important. The truth is, you date and love who you want to love and that's your own business. Not your parents. They will have to eventually understand. Asians who are gay and come out of the closet face the same criticism from their parents/culture. If family and preservation of culture is that important to you, then you should make that choice yourself. Also you need to ask yourself, are you going to end up marrying everyone you date? If not and you're still young, it's ok to date whoever you want without having to face the often harsh backlash of the traditional Asian community. I have definitely experienced personal difficulties with this too and found myself in a struggle between my parents and my girlfriend. Your parents if they really do adopt the male-dominant role will and should respect that you as a man need to make decisions for yourself that you can own up to and handle. Acceptance takes time and I hope that these people's parents aren't too closed minded and racist to accept their child's love for another human being. You need to ask yourself, who's important in your life and you should definitely consider their opinions but you should not abide blindly to ignorance. Their concerns need to be realistic and non-discriminatory for you to consider not dating or marrying someone you feel that you love. Thanks again for your question.
Interesting facts man. Not sure if you've seen this, but check out this TEDtalk The Great Porn Experiment: Gary Wilson at TEDxGlasgow on the same topic.
