Marie Dubuque loves to talk about everything from dating dilemmas and tricky social situations to drama-filled friendships and romantic relationships gone south!
I don't understand when my friend is caring and loving. I always wish her on her birthday however strange thing is she never asked when is my birthday. Never.
I would've done all those things pre-pandemic, but now that I'm chronically ill I'm too disabled to do all those activities. I'm too sick and I am dependent on people because I have no choice. I'm not clingy at all they just stopped including me in plans rather than accommodating my disabilities.
Bang on, Marie. I learned this the hard way some years ago now. Had an awful one-way crush on a now thankfully former co-worker. She wasn’t interested. I tried to stay “friends” and it didn’t work. It stung when she would complain about the jerk she met online who was her boyfriend. In retrospect she didn’t care much about my feelings but you live and learn. Where it fell apart was I had a tendency to drink too much and confess that I liked her to coworkers. Word got back to her and she wanted nothing to do with me from there. She was embarrassed I would even discuss it with others. We were further apart than I imagined. I did finally catch on with someone else who did like me and got married but it still haunts me to this day. I guess I would say to others take your shot but end it when he/she says no. “Friends” is an awful compromise from there and you don’t want to be the “friend” they complain to about the person the are ultimately dating and sleeping with….
Just dropped a friend of four years for this, that would show up three or four hours late, and then I was going to be a few hours late and they got angry at me. I tried to have compassion for add, but if they can make it on time for school, they can at least set an alarm and make it within a half an hour window that was just the last straw
I had no clue there was a term for this! I have experienced this for a decade with a very dear and close friend from high school! We are both now 39 years of age and we have had a lot of tumultuous times. So there have been many red flags and we have severed our friendship 3 times already. In the past 7 years I have actively invited her to all of my parties and events and introduced her to all of my friends and social circle ⭕️ but she has never ever once invited me along with her friends or had any social gatherings to which I was invited to meet her friends. And she always claims she has friends aside from me. She has now attempted to connect with 3 of my other friends while excluding me. The one thing I will say is that these friends have better sense and see right through this so don’t allow this boundary to be crossed.
One thing iv found that has helped me is that other peoples ignorance is not my problem, by that i mean if someone says to me " your an orange" then i know i am not and everyone around me can see that i am not, that is what it means to be a confident honest person, thats why i always say, look at what a person dose not what he says he dose, if someone goes around spreading rumors and lies then they might not be so easy to trust and are probably doing that with alot of people, i only look at what a person dose
What would you say to someone like me? Im a divoced man in my 60s (married for over 20 years and divorced the last 10 plus years). Im only 5'7" and make less than 50k (both things are deal breakers for most women). Im borderline Asperger's and ADHD. Im quiet introverted shyband reserved. Im constantly friend zoned now. Im told often that Im a great guy yet I cant get any lady to even meet me for coffee a drink or a bite to eat. Im told often that Im a great guy by women who I run into but theybare the same ones whom Im inciaible to. It has gotten increasing frustrating for me sobI have resigned tobthe notion that I may be flying solo the rest of my life. Not everyone will meet someone and it is possible that may happen to me.
Oh well, I finally spoke up today. The first time I started to not respond quickly. I would respond after a day or two to this friend , then she asked why I don’t respond so I said I am busy but as soon as it’s Friday the non stop calls and messages again and this too stopped working as she started texting me non stop again whether I respond or not so I ended up muting her until today, she said when are you available we have to talk meanwhile everyday she has been bombing my WhatsApp with messages and I responded in the morning and yesterday as well so I just realized that I have to speak up. I was just like I am an introvert and I really enjoy my peace and quiet and you like to talk non stop and I can’t be available to talk to you all the time , I am sure you have other friends you can talk to non stop. I have been struggling wondering how to tell you and hoping you would notice this. I feel free 🤣
I think convos should generally be mutually beneficial..sharing ideas where we both learn and grow...blabbering about literally nothing of value is bogus as hell and time consuming...
In reality they are very insecure, it has nothing to do with you. Their false self is envious of you. Learning how to deal with narcissists and narcissistic people will be one of the best things you'll do in your life. It will also help to rid any narcissistic traits you might have too.
For a long time i wondered if gossip even goes on in the company i work in because ive never heard anyone gossip among each other or to me. But my best friend knew about every single one? Why havent i ever heard it? Turns out no one gossiped to me or in front of me because they know I dont engage in it... Or im not interested to spread the rumor. People will gossip around those they want to believe them or worse... Engage in it and spread it... Cause its more fun. Thats their goal.
I'm having a similar issue with my boyfriends "sister-in-law", who technically isn't even real family - she's the wife of his longtime friend who he considers like a brother. We got along great at first, but then she unfriended me on social media about a month ago without saying a word. Turns out, her reason for that was because i had turned to my boyfriend's "mom", who is really his friend's mom (and a therapist) for advice on my struggling relationship. The "mom" betrayed my confidence by telling her son and daughter-in-law, as to which she (the sister-in-law) then took it upon herself to unfriend me. My boyfriend is NOT having my back at all with it, which isn't what I'd do to my partner, especially when none of them are real family. How do i handle that?
That's bad advice - if you can't be honest with your friends, set boundaries and tell them how you feel... that's on you not having the emotional maturity to face conflict and resolve it the right way. State your needs and boundaries. Be an adult.
WHEN PEOPLE SHOW YOU WHO THEY ARE BELIEVE THEM.DISTANCE YOURSELF ACCORDINGLY.NEVER BEG FOR FRIENDSHIP OR FAMILY.BE FRIENDLY & KIND TO OTHERS & GOD WILL SEND BETTER PDOPLE INTO YOUR LIFE.❤🙏✌️
SOMETIMES THEY WERE NEVER YOUR FRIEND INTHE FIRST PLACD..OR WITH SOME PEOPLE THEY HAVE A HIDDEN AGENDA.OR OTHER THINGS IN THEIR LIVES THAT HAVE NOTHING TO DO WITH YOU.I HAVE LEFT FRIENDSHIPS THAT FELT INSINCERE TO ME AND THE PARTY NEVER ACKNOWLEDGED UNKINDNESS TOWARDS ME.I ALSO HAVE VERY LOW TOLERANCE FOR SUBSTANCE ABUSERS.
Yesterday, my girlfriend of 15 months and I attended an open-air concert. A single man sat next to my girlfriend at our table. She initiated conversation with him, made several physical touches on him including touching his arm, his chest, his shoulder, put her arm around him, moved her chair closer to the guy and away from me, she directly faced him, and leaned into him to close me out from the conversation. I finally stopped trying to be in the conversation and just leaned back and stopped talking, which my girlfriend soon thereafter then realized, I think, I was a bit upset. She only then asked me to move my chair next to her, kissed me and danced with me. I am going to talk to her tonight as it has now been 24 hours. Advice?
Been good friends with my buddy for 4 years. I joined a band two years ago. I always invited him to my shows (roughly 200 at this point) and he never came. That didn’t bother me, but what did bother me was when he lied to me. I walked to my neighbor’s house and my neighbor was at the show and he said my friend lied and was playing video games. Every time I wanted to hang with him I felt like I had to beg him to hang. Really pathetic. I finally made the decision to drop him after I finished playing sax at Comic Con. I told him how big of a deal it was to attend since I got my friends VIP tickets and people really wanted these so we could have sold them for a crap ton of money. He took one and swore to me he’d go. He stayed at his buddy’s place down the street from the venue. He got drunk at the house, flaked on me and texted me halfway through the show because he wanted to go on a boat early the next day. I finally told him to “F off” and it shocked him. Finally happy to drop him
For a healthy man to say I love you to the woman is a big deal. Men hold the key to commitment and are more committed in general than women in a relationship. If a man says, I love you to his girl, he knows he’s in trouble. That will come with a whole new set of responsibilities for him. At that point, he knows that he is her man and will now be completely committed to safety and security for her, and all the commitment that comes along with that.
Hi Marie! You seem really kind! What about a friend whom you run into randomly and they are visiting where you live from out of state. You say hi, you get excited to see them and you sort of make plans but then they end up not having time for you. But, then they call you a year later but no voicemail. I shouldn't harbor a grudge but I just can't imagine not seeing someone when I said I probably could. I guess I take it harder than she does because she remarried and she is a mom and I'm just a single person. Thoughts of handling it versus married verus the single??
Marie how do you deal with friend that make fun of you to be funny and will do anything to be funny and go to far and then afterwards they leave you out and hang out with others
This is not a friend. Distance yourself from this person. He/she is probably in your social circle. Find new friends. (I know, easier said than done.) But if you start meeting people who share your same interests(Clubs, sports leagues, non-profit groups etc) you will find that you don’t need this person in your life and you will find that other people really do have your back.
Yeah and they only talk to me when I'm in the same lesson as them when they dint have their main freinds and then at lunch time they ignore me and always ignore my texts
School is the worst! It’s hard to get away from these type of people.. They are going through a phase in life where they want to be cool 😎 and will only talk to you if there is nobody cooler in the room and because they’re also afraid to look alone. You are being used! Focus on all the other nicer people in the room and try to get to know them better. You can get to know them better by asking them curious questions.
This woman is a stuck up elitist bitch who I would not piss on. She has no idea what she is talking about. An elitist. Do you kiss yourself in the mirror when you go to bed? I bet you do
Appreciated your advice. My thought went to…”be honest with yourself”…if your asking the question, can I? You probably already know the answer. Do what is best for you…always. When it comes to matters of the heart, take really good care yourself first and foremost.
Narcs and their flying monkeys. Tell me about it. They feel crap about themselves. So if they feel threatened by you, they try to superimpose their negativity onto you.
It's my birthday today. My friends forgot. My friend group has a tradition to wish people at 12 AM. Only 2 of my friends remembered. No one's going to be busy because everyone is home at that time due to curfew. I always remember people's birthday. Also it's not like they always forget on people's birthday. It's just my birthday. The same thing happened last year. All the other birthdays that happened, all my friends remembered to wish them. I have a group of family friends who remember my birthday. Most of them are currently traveling so i understand why they didn't wish me. The ones who weren't traveling wished me. But my friend group from school completely forgot. Last year, my best friend from school wished me 2 days late. Anyways, Happy Birthday to the ones who weren't wished.
What I've also learnt is as you get olfery, especially as a young one of the family, don't always feel obligated to be there when everyone is going to be there all the time. Especially when you're being ignored. Im abit like my mum in terms of, when ive not been as present, i feel bad sometimes. But especially when they're being distant with you, i will even tell my mum if anyone asks her whats going on with me just say i went out with friends. Because at the end of the day, the phone works both ways, if they want to hear whats going on with you, its not difficult to contact YOU why is it always asking vis a third party
Watched a few videos. Figured out only solution is ignoring or creating distance with this guy i m talking. Being uninterested and indifferent actually. Like actually not acting. Text late whenever mood. Reply short. No emojis. When video call be to the point. When meet look best but be distant and uninterested. And overall be happy in urself and ur life and be astronomically distant with him. Now if he pulls away it means he wasnt interrsted or that interested. Which means its over and u r good to go ahead. But if he tried to bring more attention DO NOT GIVE ATTENTION RIGHT AWAY. u r angry or unsatisfied for a reason. We in that uninterested energy for a month or more. Bit long period. Check if he is really trying his best to connect back to u. Like 15-20 times. If he does. Green light u can give him ur attemtion. If not move on. He wasnt interested in u in first place. And try to improve urself make ur life diverse so u meet new guy in near future and so can get into relationship with him
I remember watching your videos Marie back when I was a young teenager. I was struggling with things watching your videos made me feel like you were my mentor. Even though I don’t know you personally all your videos are helpful and they still are as Im now 24 today.
