i think you have been brainwashed again my friend. you have seem to have moved from addiction,to what only can be a cult that is god! there is no such thing! what ever you do in life is you and only you! Whether that's good or bad it's down to you!
No it's not there's all powerful force at hand of God persuading purpose. While demonic force wants us to be nobodies depress, lonely miserable and keep giving our life away to man-made resources with distraction over a godly gift known as creation