9 years ago....I was beyond shy because he looks like LLcool-J, but I sent this song to him anyways. He didn't even listen to this genre of music yet he was so flattered and touched by my gesture. We're now coming up on our 7 year wedding anniversary and have created 4 beautiful babies together, our twins are just 12 weeks old.
At this point I know I can’t love anyone. Not him nor anyone else. I overthink things to an extreme degree, I don’t love myself, I have no confidence in myself, I don’t really have much will to live, my low self esteem doesn’t make anything easy, I have anxiety I can’t really control, and I’m always sad all the time and I’m pretty sure I’m not depressed but I don’t know since I’ve never been diagnosed before. I really feel like I’m broken. I want to get help but I’m scared. I just want to fix my heart first. I don’t want to feel this feeling anymore. I don’t want to think of him. I just wish I didn’t fall in love because i know I can’t wish that we can be something because he’s already chosen someone else. I just wanted to be loved by him. But that’s just impossible.
We patched things up and we became friends again. Even after all this time I still loved him. After he said goodbye he left. I couldn’t say anything. We are friends but I won’t hear from him. At least not anytime soon. I’m just going to miss him.
When I met him, I was struggling with my mental health. I didn’t expect it but all of a sudden my stupid heart decided to fall in love for the first time and everything got so much worse for me at least. I actually struggled eating, sleeping and I couldn’t stop thinking about him. We were close friends but he had someone else. My heart broke when I found out he had someone, i cried the whole day because it hurt. It really did. I was a mess. He’s honestly the nicest thing that has happened to me. The nicest anyone had been to me. But I wish he wasn’t.
love is a strange strange thing. I think I am still in love with a guy I was together 2 years ago. and I haven't seen him 2 years ago. i was sure I am over him. but lately memories and old feelings and scent of his parfume comes up in my head. and I am miserable at my best. :)
Im sitting outside smoking with this on perma-loop. I just lost my boyfriend of 8 years to aids and this is the only kind of music thats somber enough to bring up so many emotions. I really miss him right now and it just kills me inside
