idk if this would help at all but i'm a bio-female who also struggles sexually w focusing & getting it done. i relate to a lot of your other thoughts & feelings too like commitment, that grating feeling when looking in the mirror. totally sympathize w you & so happy for you that its healing you ♡
I'm non-binary about to be 34 and I've been exploring my female side and I'm enjoying this experience. I've been back and forth about hrt for quite sometime now because those doubts of what if doesn't work out for me or struggle with it but also the possibility of the relief and weight lifted off my shoulders. This video made me feel not alone anymore. I've been waiting to hear from someone's prospective about this specific topic. Thank you for speaking out your experience. Much love ❤
I’m in my early 50s, AFAB, and identity as non binary since about three years ago. I am very late coming into my queer identity. I’m still figuring things out, but feel more accepting of myself than I ever have. Being a Gen-Xer, I also had a ton of internalized homophobia and transphobia. I do identify as trans/non-binary. I dont feel like a man and was deeply uncomfortable with female body functions and actively avoided any activities that were considered feminine for much of my life. It’s weird to me that now in these last couple of years, I finally feel comfortable exploring and expressing my feminine side while still not feeling like a woman. It’s like my discovery and understanding of the non-binary gender identity has helped me come to terms with how disconnected I felt in my assigned female body and gender expectations while growing up and has freed me in a way. First video of yours I’ve seen. I will definitely check out more. Take care, and thank you for sharing your journey. It’s very courageous.
You don't even have to wonder.. I will always watch your videos till the end. You are a warm and beautiful person. 💖I had a Wonderful time; very well spent.🌹(And yes, I do really play the harp.. hah)
I personally am over 60, obese, and partially disabled. I chickened out of gastro surgery twice.. I have a low paying job and struggle financially. And living alone (after a divorce) sucks. Having no friends, working at home, and losing weight so slowly is tough enough.. alone. I suppress so much (lifelong it seems) .. at times it is too much.
You have come a long way and I'm sure helped many people. I think the ones who suffer the most are the obese Christian non-binary. No one should have walls and hurdles and hoops to jump through just to feel normal.. (things are costly and physically painful enough) then to get hit with insults or worse yet, a nagging conscience from religious beliefs and Christian standards. But then to have a parent who doesn't accept someone they love being who they feel they really are.. is tragic. And by the way, true Christians do not, should not and are not allowed by Biblical principles to judge anyONE. 1 Corinthians 2:15 KJV "But he that is spiritual judgeth all THINGS, yet he himself is judged of no man." We make decisions about THINGS .. Christians are Never allowed to be judgemental to PEOPLE. But LOVE them as yourself and pray for people who have inner struggles and turmoil in their lives that few try to understand.. We love you Brynn! And you are making a difference.🌹
My shame originates from the financial burden of undergoing otherwise elective surgical procedures to simply be comfortable in my body. No one (parents, friends, strangers) will line up their wallets for a perceptibly selfish and unnecessary set of feminizing gender-affirming procedures. So I keep it to myself or complain to the internet anonymously about it. It’s a very lonely and frustrating position I occupy. Edit: Despite knowing I’ve wanted feminizing surgeries since I was in high school, around 6 years ago, I’m no closer to surgery than I was at first.
can you please answer my question I ‘m 16 years old and I identified myself as trans girl 2 years ago , sometime I get that feeling that tell me I’am a boy but I want to be a girl so badly what do you think
very helpful. will watch again, just so i can relate to someone saying relatable things. thank you <3 edit: also i’m i doubter. i doubt myself everyday everytime i do anything really. doesn’t really help ._.
For me (amab) I would say I dont like my male body and figure. Idk that was dysphoria I also was envious of women because they could have children. I was always fem and attracted to guys. Ive claimed nonbinary since I was about 18. I then learned i wanted to look more androgynous. so i didnt get on hrt till i was 24. i was on it for about 7 months then i noticed i was transfem. ive loved it since then and i love the changes hrt has given me. I feel like myself now and im still learning what kinda girl i am. I find it fun to be free in myself and my emotions and mannerisms.
Oof I felt that active decision as a small child to disassociate and be analytical to escape the trauma and constant distress. As an adult my alexithymia got so bad I couldn’t even tell if I was happy or sad.
You could have found a way to get happy in your body, expressing yourself in anyway. I think it is dangerous to be telling kids that this is ok and the parents who are trying to keep them from becoming life long medical patients and damaging their health is some how us not accepting our children for who they are. You are used cosmetic surgery and big pharma to change literally everything about you to become your "authentic self". That makes no sense and again it is dangerous to vulnerable mind. Parents want our kids to be healthy. There is no study showing that hormones or surgeries help "trans' people become happier. It is because you are in a rowboat that will never reach a destination. In your videos you have said the issues are still there and now you realize, after ALL of this medicalization you still have to deal with it. It didn't go away and now you have the do the real work to get your mind right. How can you not realize that it would be better for kids/young adults to do that at the bening without all of the medical damage and reliance? The "studies" and "science" that has lead you here has all beein lies. You can speak up now and save kids/young adults. I hope you do so. substack.com/@genspectinternational/p-144071074
Hello I'm mtf. As a kid growing up I would get people bullying me for doing things I really liked and also some random things. I've become very shy and awkward infront of people. I get super anxious about doing anything in front of anyone espicially if its something I like. But this makes me question if I'm trans whenever I want to do something feminine. On top of that all the transphobia I see online really gets to my head and makes me really wish I was never trans. If I was to meet anyone from school who bullied me I would feel very ashamed to be trans. Theres much more I could say but I have trouble getting it out. But at the end of the day I dont hate being trans. I hate that I didnt have the courage to come out sooner. Also you want to know something pretty interesting. About 100 years ago red used to be seen as a manly colour and pink for boys. Blue was a feminine colour. Weird how things change.
I'm AMAB non-binary too, and I want to start HRT someday (when I move from Russia :<), but and the only thing that really scares me is breast growth...
I am on raloxifien, it blocks estrogen receptors in breast tissue and makes estrogen more effective in other parts of your body but it's not perfect there is still some breast development and it haves it's own side effects to consider
I can understand the Point that you don't like that people know your trans. I feel the same i just want that people see mw as a girl not as a trans Girl i don't know why, but i feel better with this.
Its so freeing to realize androginy is a real choice for transitioning!! I think so many people suffer from the pressure of conforming to one presentation or the other
I always find it so fucking cool when I see another nby person with a different AGAB than me but with a transition that looks so similar to mine. Im also aiming for androginy above anything else, and I wasnt sure about T until I started it. But I kept it low dose. You give me so much gender envy its unreal, I feel so much more similar to you than any transmasculine person I have ever met in my life. Its like we're getting to the same place in the middle but you came from the left and I came from the right lol
Hi❤, I discovered your channel recently and I felt so reflected on your experience (I just want to thank you so much because I was getting crazy from loneliness and findimg your videos helped me so much) Im a 25yo amab nonbinary femme who came out 5 years ago and Ive had a rough time afraid of the health consequences of starting hormone therapy while Im not seen in most of my social interactions which is leading me to deep depression and social anxiety One of the things that scare me the most are terfs or women who see me as a man and feel afraid of me or treat me like an imposter To see how you managed to be with women like one of them in any way fills me with hope of achieving it one day How do you deal with terfs? I would also like to know more about your bottom surgery and how it helped you to embrace femininity and to start accepting the label "lesbian" even when you are amab I didnt even know that was possible and when I think about it I just want to cry and I want to be where you are right now
I am so glad I came across this video. AFAB here. I figured out I was non-binary pretty quickly thanks to my generation's (Gen Z) openness, but there is still that massive barrier there in terms of fear and decision making! And I totally relate to the "risky" decision making: I'm getting a radical chest reduction soon, and while it started out as a weird, toe-dipping, people pleasing decision to go about top surgery slowly, it actually turned into "actually yeah, I'd like a chest, I just want to be able to hide it too." I get your point on "you can know you want something without knowing you want it." And this video has now opened my brain a little more into what physical transition can actually look like for me as a non-binary person: it *can* be androgynous and it doesn't have to skew toward maleness or femaleness to be considered valid transition. Thank you so, so much for this video.
i have a similar experience (as trans guy) i think and i just want you to know (even tho you probably do) that you don't have to be a 100% sure that you're a woman (or bc you dont feel good enough) and still say that you are because it feels good <3
I really hate being trans. I hate it so much. I feel like a stupid little kid playing dress up, and I feel like in the end I'll always be unhappy. I hate being so embarrassed with myself that I have to pretend to be something I'm not everyday, and when someone comments on how "pretty" and "skinny" I look I want to die. I hate being perceived as a girl but I will make a fool of myself if i tell people I'm not a girl. I worry I'll never be happy as myself, but seeing other trans people grow up to be genuinely happy people gives me a bit of hope at least, so thank you.
I’m sorry you’re feeling that way, but I totally get it. Your feelings are valid, and are definitely things that a lot of people have experienced. It can be so hard being trans, and can many times feel hopeless. Being misgendered/mispercieved can feel soul crushing. I’ve only recently been able to start feeling truly secure. Loving yourself as a trans person can be so challenging, and I’m really sorry you’re struggling. But I will say, it does get better. Bit by bit. As time goes on, you learn that you’re worthy of love and validation, and that you deserve to be seen and respected as the gender you are, instead of the one that society has placed onto you. I’d definitely recommend seeing a therapist that specializes in gender stuff, if you have the resources/money too. It can be so hard to unpack all of this on your own. Much love 💕
@@brynavery thank you very much for replying with such nice words.♥ It really does make me feel a bit better. And with the therapist thing, I've been trying to get one, but I've had some problems with it. But hopefully eventually. I know I'll just have to be patient with this kind of thing.
@coalminez didn’t mean to dislike your comment at first, oops! I hope you’ll be able to get a therapist soon. Even just having someone listen can be a huge help. Something I’ve found helpful as well is having very supportive friends. I got lucky and have really accepting cis friends, and also have a trans partner who understands me. I’d definitely check to see if there’s any trans support groups in your area. Even if you don’t feel comfortable talking or anything, being around other trans/queer people can be so healing. Wishing you the best!! 💛
Finished. I really loved this for one reason: im a musitian and i struggle defining my " brand " style etc and literally as i was hearing your identity journey i felt less alone because sometimes its hard to define what we are .. If you know what i mean. Thank u❤
Glad to help!! I also don’t know if I put it in the video or not (because I don’t remember if I knew this at the time) but Rosemary oil can help with hair loss, if that’s something you deal with!
Thank you. You have some very good insight on trans/non-binary vs trans/binary. It is helpful in figuring out some of my own issues with this. You are also beautiful and somehow handsome at the same time. I think your femininity comes out more than your masculinity though.
I appreciate your honesty and your willingness to step out of your comfort zone and learn 💛 if you have questions, you’re always welcome to comment them, or message me on Instagram (@_paraph). I tend to be a little slow to respond but I try my best 💛
I just caught up with this Brynn, and was moved by your transparency, sincerity, and your strong (but soft) feminine nature. I so identified with your journey. I’m AMAB, came out older (really older) and have only been on GAHT for 9 months. During that time I have been vacillating on the non-binary/ Femme spectrum, and questioning my identity. I say all that to get to “THANK YOU” for affirming that it is okay to question, to wonder, to work out who I am in my quest for my own authenticity. ❤
This is (and you are) so well articulated. Androgynous, but from the "female perspective" was how I relayed the message to my therapist. And it was so difficult to even get to that description. I imagine people who just cannot find the words to articulate this and don't even get to something like that. Thanks for posting this video. Yes, I know it's years later, but this still helps those who come now and after 🥰❤️
I’m glad my video helped to affirm you, and I’m sorry you struggle with not feeling affirmed. Who you are is beautiful and perfect, even if other people don’t see/validate that. You are, and will always be valid 💛
Just found you. Thank you for sharing, it helps me as afab but big time questioning myself for so long but I'm over 40, I never wanted to be a man, but never been comfortable with being a woman either. I grew up not even being aware of non binary being a possible choice. I even thought you might be afab. You're an example of pure androgyny. You are an inspiration i know now i needed to see and helped to solidify a realistic goal for myself.
lol how do you know about that? 😅 I’ve thought of making a video about it (my relationship with her was one of the most significant relationships I’ve had) but I’m not sure her ex husband or her would want the dynamics of their marriage publicized, which is why I haven’t spoken much about it, and what I have said has been pretty vague.
