Radical acceptence must lead to psychologically detachment which must lead to stop caring - really stop caring and making him a stranger! Whether you stay or go
I relate so much to this conversation! I have a narc partner of 27 years. But I only learned about narcissistic abuse this year. 2024. It wasn't always bad or questionable. However it became more apparent in recent years. I'm learning to manage it well because I'm not in a position to leave. Dr. Ramani has been a great light in understanding what I'm living thru. Thankyou very much! I'm in radical acceptance, for the most part. I love myself enough to really work on self care. I've mentally left him.
MY THIRTIES YEARS BACK RIGHT AGO NOW: HAPPIEST, DARK CHILDREN TO RID CHILDREN AS BEFORE TO THEY ARE TOTALLY NO CONTACT. MY PERSPECTIVES IN A THEREFORE WAS PEOPLED AND ENJOYED BLAMING THAT. BUT DON'T THEY COLLAPSEDLY FANTASIZED ME ANYMORE. NARCISSISTIC ETERNITY. RIGHT NOW. THEY'RE NEVER MY NEVERENDINGLY THEY'LL BE BACK WITH A ONLY WORSE THE SMIRKED TO CONTINUOUSLY ANYMORE. BECAUSE THEY - NOW WAS NOTHING TO DO WITH THEM ANYMORE!! NARCISSISTS DON'T WHAT IS HAPPENING IF THERE'S NOTHING BLAMED TO ENJOY IT PERSPECTIVE KNEW THEY TO PROBABLY IMPOSSIBLE BY THEREFORED TO CLOSED YOUR DARK CHILDREN WITH A NARCISSISTS ANYMORE. I ALSO, INTO MY LIFESTYLES AND YOUR GIRLS AND SO MY GUYS WILL OVERCONTINUOUS THE TRULY HARD THE NARCISSISTS WILL OVERSPEAKABLENESS ABUSERS WITH HIS/HER HUNTISTS NARCISSISTIC ANYMORE. THANKS FOR MY SPOT ON THIS OVERLOVE VIDEOS AND REACTIONS.
He will come in and in front of the kids start saying why can’t you help me clean. I can’t do everything on my own. As if I want going to help or as if he does everything and I do nothing. It’s endless daily abuse and I can’t leVey
Just because a marriage lasts a long time doesn’t necessarily mean that it’s healthy. My covert narc mom and codependent dad were married 60 plus years and my dad went to his grave trying to “make her happy” and he never succeeded. I learned from him and tried to please her (and others) too. Until…I finally began learning (mainly from Dr. Ramani) how to disengage. Thank you so very much. At least the rest of my 50s and beyond will be less enmeshed with these toxic people.
I’ve never met a narcissistic woman. Only men. I have a lot of hate towards men now. I want to balance out my perspective by hearing more about kind men and narcissistic women.
Dr. R is amazing on his topic. Wonderful communicator. Clear and concise explanations and advice. Professional. I have started listening to ‘it’s not you’ thank you Dr. R you came into my life just when I needed you the most
I lost ME!! I was doing nothing but taking care of the narcissists in my life! I meant nothing to them but they were my everything. Now i take care of ME!!!!
I'm hearing exactly "he's your son so you need to fix it". I tried for over 40 years to help him to only be thrown away again, again and again and my heart torn out over and over again. I can not ever go there again! I'm a current cancer SURVIVOR and want it to stay that way!
I divorced once, got re married. Thought it was the perfect person. After a few yrs, things slowly changed. Then I felt I lost my joy. Like he was taking it( I was giving). I’m basically a happy person, I longed for the old relationship to come back. Was a hard realization that I couldn’t control that. Good days were great, bad days were bad. We got into a slight argument about a family member, not a big deal, I thought. I said, maybe you should leave. He says, he’s calling my bluff. Then shot his self. Talk about guilt. I’m healing day by day. His action, his pain.
I divorced once, got re married. Thought it was the perfect person. After a few yrs, things slowly changed. Then I felt I lost my joy. Like he was taking it( I was giving). I’m basically a happy person, I longed for the old relationship to come back. Was a hard realization that I couldn’t control that. Good days were great, bad days were bad. We got into a slight argument about a family member, not a big deal, I thought. I said, maybe you should leave. He says, he’s calling my bluff. Then shot his self. Talk about guilt. I’m healing day by day. His action, his pain.
Gary just gave us the tools. Let that sink in for personality-soul integration. Seat of the Soul was an early book on my spiritual journey,one of the few that i still have. Wisdom of age is prescient. I can attest the path. The Path of Heart sets us free.
2:22 I had no idea he was a narcissist. Then I heard about a covert narcissist and my mouth dropped. He was ALL of those traits. Sullen, moody, almost felt sorry for him when I met him. I knew after the first date, but I ignored my gut. I gave him the benefit of doubt allowing me to cause so much destruction in my life for about a year. I wish I went with my gut. The manipulation, the victimization, the woe is me, and it’s everyone’s fault except his. It was all about I did for him. Now I am still reeling from this but on the road to healing. I must listen to 3-5 of these videos a day. Not only am I learning but I am recognizing that as an empath, narcissist are attract empaths. I can’t change my personality but I can only look out for the red flags in the future. I am so exhausted from all of the abuse ( and I never thought I’d be a victim of abuse). I do feel lighter and these videos are life savers. I actually take notes on them because they are so eye opening and extremely helpful!!!
1:50 feedback 4:38 not changing 5:36 no self reflection 7:27 traits 14:21 who they target 17:46 behavior/personality 19:32 inability to love 20:18 they don’t care 21:38 grief 26:45 shame 28:24 healing 29:11 30:38 acceptance 32:14 don’t allow them in 33:39 hero’s journey 39:07 euphoric recall 40:05 making lists 40:43 trauma bonding 42:52 bad behavior 43:47 lists what you gave up 46:08 faucet dripping 48:13 rebuilding yourself 48:54 core values bending 52:39 resistance 54:38 validating people 55:39 healing program 58:09 blessing
Dr. Ramani has been on so many platforms offering help. even the hosts. We appreciate all you do Dr Ramani. And for those who can . Get out. And if you can’t right now start a plan. It may take years but make a plan. Education for better paying job or sticking with a job 20 years as I did. Saving money ect. And keep it to yourself. I stayed 43 years and finally got to a point where my health was deeply affected. So I knew it was time to value ME cause he certainly didn’t. Twas scary but was worth it. I am the happiest I have ever been since I got out. They will never change they only get worse. Value yourself. We deserve so much better. It’s ok to be kind but when it’s not reciprocated that when you know this is off kilt. Praying for those who can’t leave. 🙏🏽
Fabulous podcast. Very special experiencing this host interviewing Dr Romani who was a victim of abuse herself. She clearly is so empathetic and sweet, who went thru abuse herself and you thru her how vile her abuser is ( her x husband) to abuse someone SO clearly sweet and kind so horrifically. Dr Romani says so many helpful things. Listen to this from start to finish. Dr Romani your delivery is always with love and empathy who supports our healing. Love what you say, the victims will never see the world the same way. We are forever aware and vigilant. We know the “shit” is real and it exists. Thank you both for this great podcast.
i can’t be shamed or embarrassed! especially publicly as i don’t give one fuck what anyone thinks or says too me or about me!! It’s an amazing freedom! untouchable unphaseable!! i owe not one single woman anything! i have three kids i owe the world!! I am 45 and will never help a woman raise another man’s kids! and it’s definitely not my responsibility to take care of of her, pay for dates, buy her things etc! I am more concerned with buying my kids and myself new things and being personally happy and too see my kids flourish!! If i am gonna spend a few hundred dollars on a weekend away definitely won’t be with a woman, it will be with my kids making memories having fun!!
your friends will bust your balls for showing weakness. you woman will lose respect for you. it is all fun and games with the boys when you are caught slipping. it is over if your girl sees it. none of them will admit it, but they lose all respect for a man that shows weakness.
But how does it go from normal relationship compromise (i.e. gluten free pasta, white colored walls, etc) to my life is not my own - bc we’re taught to compromise and in the moment it doesn’t seem so big or abusive. I guess compromise should go both ways?
I am not sure how detrimental this is going to be, but I went COMPLETELY ZERO CONTACT with my ex husband of 16 years and we have a teenager (15 year old girl) that obviously don’t co-parent. However, as much as I have tried to consider having minimal contact for my daughter’s sake, I freeze, my anxiety is much more and I can’t find a real valid reason since he does nothing to keep in contact with our daughter, nor does he provide anything financially. B
