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My name is Eric Alexander and I am a retired Airline Sales Manager. As you will see from the contents of this channel, making useful informative videos is one of my passions.
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I'm not impatient...if I'm waiting somewhere I get on my phone and do a survey or something. I don't just stare at someone making their situation worst.
Mention a weakness which is not connected to the job that you are applying for and also explain what you did to get rid of it. For example, if you are applying for an Accountant's job, saying that you are very bad with figures is suicide.
This information is muddled deliberately by Pharma mafia: CBT lumps various social inhibitions into issue with hallucination: (1) Shyness - it is feeling social threat feelings at some social event, but social fear wear off quickly and shy person is not bothered by it again (2) Social anxiety - it is feeling of social threat before the event, during event and after event. Fears do not wear off and you keep ruminating about it. This is due to trauma, condition called CPTSD and it is not hallucination neither delusion nor illusion. (3) Social anxiety disorder - it is feeling of social threat at safe events, when you know that person around you will not harm you. For example in safe, empty room, and you are with Oprah or Mandela or Mother Theresa or Gandhi - the safest person you can ever imagine - but you still feel threat that they might harm you. This condition is part of Paranoid Delusional Disorder, and only 1% of population has it. (4) Narcissistic disorder - it is feeling of social threat triggered when someone warns and alarms you for being intrusive. Due to confirmation bias you are not realizing that you are rude and arrogant and intrusive - so you conclude that you feel social anxiety due to unknown reason from random people. (5) Autistic disorder - you live in your world and you are not aware that you appear threatening to people, for example you do not say Hi to them or smile back to them. So you feel social anxiety because you feel tense and awkward in social situations and you have no idea why. (6) Performance anxiety - when you feel social fears when performing in public and it has nothing to do with social anxiety at all, it only overlaps panic symptoms - where primary concern is embarrassment, not violent attack from others. (7) Borderline - half baked narcissists, often aggressive and fear of being abandoned as primary concern which mimics social anxiety symptoms. CBT lumps all these as hallucination in order to make it easier to handle complex matter. However oversimplifications leads to distortions. Ironically CBT is using cognitive distortion concept such as over-generalization paradoxically to explain social anxiety as cognitive distortion. CBT does not distinguish between narcissism/boderliners with primary concern to be liked from others on one side, cannot distinguish it from the real social anxiety which is - fear of punishment, attack and fear of aggression from others. Narcissists thus became spokesmen for socially anxious, explaining the symptoms where the abuser becomes the advocate for their targets that they abuse, as if the wolf is given watchdog job to watch over sheep. There is Jane Elliott's Blue Eyes, Brown Eyes experiment, exercise - that showed that social settings can influence the targets. There is Narcissistic abuse: Long-Term Narcissistic Abuse Can Cause Brain Damage. There is Stanford prison experiment where it is shown that targets of abuse in toxic ambient where they cannot escape from will develop extreme social anxiety. There is Skinner's box and Little Albert experiment which shows that people can be conditioned and initiated into social anxiety. Quotes to consider: Lundy Bancroft: "Abuse is NOT caused by bad relationship dynamics. You can't manage your partner's abusiveness by changing your behaviour. But he wants you to think you can." Carl Jung | Psychology and Philosophy 🧠, TWITTER: The foundation of all mental illness is the unwillingness to experience legitimate suffering. Since most non-HSPs do not seem to enjoy thinking about solutions, they assume we must be unhappy doing all that pondering. Preferring toughness, the culture sees our trait as something difficult to live with, something to be cured. The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron "Any attempt to dictate what thoughts, feelings, and sensations are proper or improper creates a breeding ground for guilt and shame" Peter Levine Carl Rogers: “The curious paradox is that when I accept myself, just as I am, then I can change.” Self-regulation, writes Ross Buck, “involves in part the attainment of emotional competence, which is defined as the ability to deal in an appropriate and satisfactory way with one’s own feelings and desires.” Dr. Gabor Maté, "When the Body Says No: The Cost of Hidden Stress" Escape attempt from pain creates more pain. We get addicted to it. Dr. Gabor Maté "I have to be strong" The core belief in having to be strong enough, characteristic of many people who develop chronic illness, is a defense. When the Body Says No - The Cost of Hidden Stress Book by Gabor Maté Many of us live, if not alone, then in emotionally inadequate relationships that do not recognize or honour our deepest needs. Isolation and stress affect many who may believe their lives are quite satisfactory. "When the Body Says No", Dr. Gabor Maté For anger to be deployed appropriately, the organism has to distinguish between threat and non-threat. If I don’t know where my own boundaries begin and end, I cannot know when something potentially dangerous is intruding on them. "When the Body Says No", Dr. Gabor Maté See that anxiety is normal response on their part to what actually happened to them. And it can be relieved and recovered if they look at its sources. YT What Causes Your Anxiety? | Dr. Gabor Mate “What we call the personality is often a jumble of genuine traits and adopted coping styles that do not reflect our true self at all but the loss of it.” Quote by Gabor Maté Almost every mental disorder originates in childhood experience and originates as coping mechanism. When you are threatened with something, you would not be anxious, you would be afraid - as you should be. YT Dr. Gabor Mate Cry for help begins as coping mechanism and that becomes generalized. So under certain circumstances there should be fear and anxiety. But when I have anxiety and there is no immediate threat, what is that about? YT Dr. Gabor Mate Look at childhood. Anxiety is really the cry of some desperate childhood part of themselves for help and to learn to get help with that part. Not just to take tranquilizers, drink or go to Internet to soothe themselves. YT Dr. Gabor Mate The desire for self development stems from "narcissistic" desires, a tendency to self-aggrandizement and superiority over others. Sigmund Freud Neurosis is the avoidance of legitimate suffering. JUNG The first half of life is devoted to forming a healthy ego, the second half is going inward and letting go of it. Carl Jung Everyone carries a shadow, and the less it is embodied in the individual's conscious life, the blacker and denser it is. Carl Jung “To be normal is the ideal aim for the unsuccessful.” JUNG Improving our relationships is improving our mental health. William Glasser Interpersonal strife with those close to us leads to rifts and resentments that produce symptoms of mental illness; these problems are, in fact, the logical consequence of troubled relationships. Glasser emphasizes that lasting psychological problems are usually caused by problems in our personal relationships (rather than signifying a biochemical abnormality in the brain), and distress can be remedied through repairing these relationships without recourse to psych drugs. WILLIAM GLASSER Controlling Habits: Blaming Criticizing Complaining Nagging Rewarding To Control Threatening Punishing William Glasser William Glasser "What's my Choice" Connecting Habits: Listening Supporting Encouraging Negotiating Respecting Accepting Trusting They see us as timid, shy, weak, or unsociable. Fearing these labels, we try to be like others. But that leads to our becoming overaroused and distressed. Then that gets us labeled neurotic or crazy, first by others then by ourselves. The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron Learning to see our trait as a neutral thing-useful in some situations, not in others-but our culture definitely does not see it, or any trait, as neutral. Be careful about accepting labels for yourself such as "inhibited", "introverted", "shy" The Highly Sensitive Person,E. Aron "Sooner or later everyone encounters stressful life experiences, but HSPs react more to such stimulation. If you see this reaction as part of some basic flaw, you intensify the stress already present in any life crisis. This deeper processing of subtle details causes you to consider the past or future more. You "just know" how things got to be the way they are or how they are going to turn out. It can be wrong, but your intuition is right often enough that HSPs tend to be visionaries, more conscientious, cautious and wise people. It is important not to confuse arousal with fear. And often we think that our arousal is due to fear. We do not realize that our heart may be pounding from the sheer effort of processing extra stimulation. I really suggest trying to view it as neutral. HSPs must spend far more time trying to invent solutions to human problems just because they are more sensitive to hunger, cold, insecurity, exhaustion, and illness. Since most non-HSPs do not seem to enjoy thinking about such things, they assume we must be unhappy doing all that pondering. Spend enough time putting yourself out there in the world - your sensitivity is not something to be feared. Carl Jung believed that when highly sensitive patients has experienced a trauma, they had been unusually affected and so developed a neurosis. Preferring toughness, the culture sees our trait as something difficult to live with, something to be cured. HSPs differ mainly in their sensitive processing of subtle stimuli. This is your most basic quality." The Highly Sensitive Person, Elaine N. Aron Goodness is chosen. When a man cannot choose, he ceases to be a man. A Clockwork Orange (1971)
