my friends stopped talking to me, the one friend i trusted the most only talks to me to insult me as a "joke" calling me any slur, anyway these 2 years were fun while they lasted, guess i have to say goodbye to them and keep going! even if my legs are totally fucked, cut like if a 5 year old drawed on them, why do i even bother typing this? after all, everything i know is that, no one cared about my emotions and im just there to fulfill their expectations, im just that, a toy to them.
Life isn’t about how big and strong you are and hiding your emotions. It’s about how many physical and mental hits you can take and get right back up and love others. -random commenter
Some times you think what you have done in your lifetime and then you realize that you made some bad and some good but the only things that mater is you and the most important part of your life
My dear readers your not alone ever. I believe you you believe in yourself and your gods are looking at you don't make them disappointed that your not having the life you deserve. I am saying this truthfully I love each and every one of you and don't forget I'm always with you. I believe in you and so does MANY. Go on achieve everything you deserve. Good luck. Spread this around!! <33333
And I want to let everyone, any conditions. Any person in the world, even the worst. Your heavenly father God loves you. And you are never alone because he will always be with you watching over you and looking out for you ♥️
Why? Aaron, why are you so ugly? Aaron why are you so scared at trying new things? Aaron why do you get so mad easily? Aaron, why don't you care about people who care about you? Aaron, you need to start acting stupid? Aaron, why are you so lazy? Aaron, why dose no one like you? Aaron, why are you lonely? Aaron, why do you sin so much? Aaron, why are people trying to not hang out with you? Aaron, why do you hang out with bad friends? Aaron, why did hurt her? Aaron, why do you want to be alone all the time? Aaron, why do you want to kill youself? Why won’t my addiction ever end?
Man, I'm really down right now, it's been several months that I'm depressed, so I'll vent a bit. Sorry for typoes,I'm really tired; My family we cna say isn't the best one, my dad is fine, my brother if ine,just that my mother, what she's doing in several contries could be child abuse but I'm not sure in mine and I can't describe what she really does but some verbal things she said to me (and hage she told me them) i remeber : Nobody likes you (7 yo) You're a useless studipd idot (12 yo) As soon as you turn 18, You'll be thrown out of our lifes (14 yo) and several more but they aren't really insteresting. To tell you how I can't take it anymore, I'm trying to lucid dream to fainlly have a HAPPY MOMENT. I know it sounds like some attention seeking action,but I konw no one will read anyways so ig it's fine. To tell you how long is has been since i had a real smile (Btw in school i'm like the gay femboy friend which isn't gay nor a femboy) was when I was 9 eyar old : let me explain. So when I was 9 yo and younger, once or twice a year I had the chance to see my cousin: this is a girl which I feell comfortable tlaking to and being myself (well at least omre tahn whit other and she's prob the only non-blood related girl I can talk to whitout sounding liek a idiot) So when I was 9 yo, I was abel to see her in august and I even had a bday gift (whic hI still have intact, which will amke sense soon) So I was happy and all and I spend th erest of the day being myself and happy. I never regrettedd keeping that gift intact as I never saw her nor my uncle ever agina after taht.I think by taht time, she already forgot taht me,her cousin even exists.So yeah, the more days ataht passes by, the sadder I become, like I just want to be happy.Like i'm at the point where hurting myself does nothing : twisting my arm as muhc as I can doesn't do anything Hitting myself in the face dfdeosnn't do anyhting frick, evne punch my nuts doesn't even do anything anymore! Like, I just want to feel alive ONCE,is taht too much to ask? Well my god awful motehr would say yes. My ""friends"" taht jsut suses me would say "no" (so yes). At this point in life, i don't know anyone taht just cares abotu me for whom I am not jsut because I'm in the goddman family, I jsut frkicng want to have a reason to stay alvie expect not knowing what comes after death. This is just depressing and all,jsut wanting to be recognized for who I am, I don't really care if someoen likes me as i konw it's too much, like just wanting ONE person to see me for woh I am even tho I'm not the nbebest person ever. That's it, just want to be seen for who I am,no money,no love,nothing else. But obviosuly a simple request is too much. Such an unfair world
Hey, i get that you are feeling down, You feel ignored and depressed you also seem confused. But truth is this world is extremely unfair so unfair to the point that some people dont get to live as long as we have. And personally i dont think that we should be questioning our place here on earth. Nature does not need a reason to exist, so why do YOU need a reason to exist, even so i believe that the reason we are here on earth is to live our lives to the best we can because after all they are the only lives we get and even with a family such as your own, i dont really think you should dwell on your mother as much. You have your Father and Brother and if you reply to this i'd be happy to talk. When you are older things will get better.
Seek attention as a mean of screaming for help -Gets called as annoying- Do nothing and be in silence -The voices get louder, internally ripping you apart- Just what am i supposed to do...?
If there are adults telling you that you seek attention because you are asking for help, well those are no adults at all. Please seek some help from a trusted adult and have a serious conversation with them, if they tell you, you are seeking attention id lower contact with them, adults are supposed to care for you not tear you down and lower your own self worth. Im so sorry for what you are going through.
I have friends, they just annoy me in ways most people wouldn't even notice, and I feel really mean for pushing them away in the limited time we spend together. Anyways, due to school policies I see them 20 minutes a day during lunch and I have no friends in my class. they can't hang out because we all have to study, and I'm alone most nights when I see other friend so...
today I felt nothing,actually I felt sad not because of anyone or anything,Noone hurt me,I did it all by myself,I hurt people and animals and myself,sometimes I wonder why am I like this?why can't I change?and then I felt nothing...sorry to anyone who have been hurt by me,I wil try not to again...my best
literally i always i had friends to talk to. its different in always alone and peolle barley talk to me usually i would get partners instantly now people dont wanna be my partner. the teacher is no help either she never helps me find on either.. so i just dont do it. I hate being lonley. Its affecting me. Its worser this time... i just dont feel like going to school i only went if i get to speak to my friends now i dont i hate going to school its not special anymore. my kind of friend pushed me two times badly because i shipped him and his best friend as a joke. He never did that to anyone when someone did it to me and him. ( when people shipped me and him). i feel distant from people and cant help it so I'm trying my hardest to accept being alone all the time. <3.
Im sorry for your situation, I hope you are able to come to terms with your reality and if i may give you some advice. I graduated Highschool a year ago and honestly i was never the one to talk to others. And for that i suffer alone with no other outlet to meet new people. Try to make new friends while you still can, but just remember friends come and go but family is usually forever. And its not JUST blood that makes someone your family it could be a best friend. Just something to look upon. Youre young yet and its a shame to see people like you struggling. I hope you gain new better friends.
@NxtivetheNative thank you so much some people have started talking to me again but im not getting the same feeling like when I was happy at school. I did accept I was gonna be alone. Even my crush got a girlfriend and my close friends to me we all go in an argument. It was upsetting and my new crush was backing me up. And once we all in a gc even him and this girl told me to f off and he said he was gonna punch her lol. But I really do think you very much. <3333
@@imcool888 im glad your situation has improved, keep trying things that make YOU happy not anyone else because after your school years the opinions of others just kinda melt away. So it's best to do what really makes you happy it could be a hobby, or a club or an activity, I wish you a long happy life.
@NxtivetheNative aw tysm <3 I don't wanna make yu uncomfortable but I'm 1 day clean! I'm so happy omg but I appreciate your help and advice ive started to get a bit happier in life ig? People don't wanna partner up with me still and I told my friend about this while st school and she said that people may be scared of me or something I'm not sure but I understand what u mean :)
She left me. She took every crystal in my cave. She took every crop in my farm. She took every tooth from my mouth. She took every cloud from my sky. She took the stars from my night She took the continents from my earth. She took face from my emoji. She took the football from my feild. She took the food from my grill She took the wires from my charger. She took the puck from my hockey stadium. She took the grade from my paper. She took the soda from my bottle. She took the magic out of my wand. She took everything from me.
She didnt take your will, Your Willpower to stand back up and put yourself out there. Its better that she left you because she was never the one meant to be and eventually you will find YOURS as much as one day ill find MINE. Im sorry for your situation and hope you feel better soon.
Pov: your dancing to this in your room because your toxic parents ruined prom for you and didn't order your dress and now you just have the underskirt and left you at home all alone to comfort another family member because their TV broke and they had a mental meltdown over it(I made an robot boyfriend to dance with me but that's not the point 😭)
بصراحة ما ادري اذا اني اشتاقلها لو اشتاق لهذاك الشعور الحلو من چنة سوية،، مدري رغم كل الأذى الي سوته بية ودخلتني بحالة نفسية وصرت ما اثق بأحد و كتومة اكثر وخربت كل علاقاتي وخلتني أتعلق بيها حيل و دائما تحسسني الغلط بيهة اذا تعاركنة او صار شي،، بس والله مشتاقة لهذيج الايام الحلوة،، حسيتها عائلتي الوحيدة وتقبلتها شلون ما هية،،من صدگ حيل حبيتها كأول صديقة،، وحاليآ مدري احس بس أحن للذكريات الحلوة وهايهية،، الحمدلله على كل حال
0:00 *chamber of reflection by mac demarco* Spend some time away Getting ready for the day you're born again Spend some time alone Understand that soon you'll run with better men Alone again Alone again Alone again Alone again Alone No use looking out It's within that brings that lonely feeling Understand that when you leave here You'll be clear among the better men Alone again Alone again Alone again Alone again Alone Alone again Alone again Alone again Alone 3:43 *no surprises by radiohead* A heart that's full up like a landfill A job that slowly kills you Bruises that won't heal You look so tired, unhappy Bring down the government They don't, they don't speak for us I'll take a quiet life A handshake of carbon monoxide And no alarms and no surprises No alarms and no surprises No alarms and no surprises Silent, silent This is my final fit My final bellyache with No alarms and no surprises No alarms and no surprises No alarms and no surprises, please Such a pretty house And such a pretty garden No alarms and no surprises (get me out of here) No alarms and no surprises (get me out of here) No alarms and no surprises, please (get me out of here) 7:32 *k. By ciggarettes after s3x* I remember when I first noticed that you liked me back We were sitting down in a restaurant waiting for the check We had made love earlier that day with no strings attached But I could tell that something had changed how you looked at me then Kristen, come right back I've been waiting for you To slip back in bed When you light the candle And on the Lower East Side, you're dancing with me now And I'm taking pictures of you with flowers on the wall Think I like you best when you're dressed in black from head to toe Think I like you best when you're just with me And no one else Kristen, come right back I've been waiting for you To slip back in bed When you light the candle And I'm kissing you lying in my room Holding you until you fall asleep And it's just as good as I knew it would be Stay with me, I don't want you to leave Kristen, come right back I've been waiting for you To slip back in bed When you light the candle 12:48 *space song by beach house* It was late at night You held on tight From an empty seat A flash of light It will take a while To make you smile Somewhere in these eyes I'm on your side You wide-eyed girls You get it right Fall back into place Fall back into place Tender is the night For a broken heart Who will dry your eyes When it falls apart? What makes this fragile world go 'round? Were you ever lost? Was she ever found? Somewhere in these eyes Fall back into place Fall back into place Fall back into place Fall back into place Fall back into place Fall back into place Fall back into place Fall back into place Fall back into place Fall back into place Fall back into place Fall back into place Fall back into place Fall back into
anyone reading this , i know its hard and i am proud of u for making it this far! I just want u to know that its gonna be ok, u are so strong u will overcome this aswell!
When i realize ill never make my parents proud, never find a girl with me as their type, never feel secure in my body, always have shitty addictions, and never have friends.
