What would a man do if he becomes a 50 year old virgin and still has no relationships in his lifetime,, its easy to say stay single right now but when you get to a certain old age with no relationship experience,,,, thats where men lonelyness starts to breakdown,,, and nobody realizes that
I'm much less hopeful than you about dating and love. I don't feel the need to find someone, don't want to try as I was disappointed before, would rather let the love find me than seek it out. Life has taught me to not have high hopes for anything as everything can go wrong no matter how hard you try. Good luck to you in finding true love.
So I just found your channel about 40 minutes ago and I am honestly really glad I did. Some of the comments have already mentioned it but you seem to be a really genuine guy with really honest, down to earth advice and outlooks. I’m a girl who’s almost finished with her junior year in high school, and I 100% agree with talking more to your friends and letting them open up to you more. Two of my best friends are guys, and they’ve both told me so many things over the years. I noticed though, that as they got older, they became a lot more closed off and really bottled there feelings up. My dad is also very closed off emotionally, and doesn’t tend to really talk about how he feels until he gets a bit tipsy. He’s one of the nicest people I know, and we have a great relationship, but I can tell that there are definitely things that bother him deep down that he just doesn’t want to talk about. When it comes to friends and people in general some people will be more open then others. It’s all about who you’re with, what the situation is, and how comfortable you feel around someone. Sometimes theres small things that people do that can help you understand them that much more. At the end of the day, we’re all people, and we’re all just trying to get by. If your friends are hurting, and need to get things off their chest, listening is the best thing you can do. I’m glad you were able to be there for your friend just to lend him an ear and a few words of advice. You’re right, it is important. Again, take my words with a grain of salt, I am in high school, but I really like your videos and just want to say keep doing what you do. Not only are you helping yourself but you’re helping others too and that’s always a great thing to see.
I really appreciate you taking the time to write that all out! I think for a lot of men in general it take a certain time and place, as well as specific people for them to open up and we're just so convinced that to be a man you cannot express your feeling and and whats bothering you. There are only a few people that we can trust with telling that info to if any at all. I'm glad that you found my channel and are here <3
Dating is whack but it is harder when you are most likely gay (Who is v closeted) and a woman. Like I have men who seem nice try and make advances but it's so awkward rejecting them, cause it's very common people see "I'm gay" as an excuse to reject them rather han a reason. Also its so hard to find other women who date women, it's usually really hard to tell by mannerisms and apperance if a woman is gay or not. In the end I think its very common that bi women end up with men, cause there are barely any options and there is a huge preassure from society (I am the joker) to be in a relationship. I was like 16 last time I was in a relationship with a guy and it was kinda overrated tbh. I'm happy without one cause I have great friends and a lot happening in my life, but at the same time I always feel bugged by people around me to "get a boyfriend" cause im gonna die alone or something lol
Idk why I got this recommended. But I fully get you. I had this for a loooong time and it was such a struggle. But after a lot of waiting I found a LDR I went into and have met her and it all goes well. I hope you get something to work soon. I defo hate the modern culture of single nights and expectations. Like just be happy with someone good enough.
I think I like your videos exactly because it feels like having a deep conversation with a buddy. You talk about topics that trouble both of us, and in the meantime make some jokes. I dunno it just feels nice.
It really does start to feel like the only winning move is not to play Either that or just try to have a few closer friends, but don't put too much trust in them...
It will get better I promise! Right now you're going through the "character building phase". All jokes aside, if you need someone reach out! We want to see you succeed and I know you will <3
I completely agree, I wish that we as a society didn’t have such a negative stigma towards men opening up more.. There’s definitely times and situations that make it easier! Great message in this video tho 👏
great message in this video, but i wanted to remark what makes your channel stand out to me. your greeting is so genuine and direct, it shifts from a youtube video to a genuine good message trying to be spread. Love your stories and look forward to your advice on life. Thanks, Dan.
My issue is I just don't seem to care about dating. I'm not concerned about never having a significant other; however, I am concerned that something is wrong with me for feeling that way. My dating experience only comes from friends that tried to set me up with their coworkers because they thought we'd be cute together. They stopped trying to set me up after a couple dates. It's like I just can't be bothered to even try. I think I'm average looking, so I don't think I'd have much trouble if I tried. Since I'm a guy, unless the other person is really forward, we're supposed to be the ones that make the first move. I have no real passions, save for music and the occasional concert (like once a year). What person would be into that? Aside from my career, I have no drive whatsoever. And even with my career, I feel like I've gotten too comfortable and now I'm stagnating in the same position I've been for years. Have I thought about what it would be like to have a significant other? Sure. It's not enough for me to take action though. I think about the whole rigamarole of dating and trying to find someone that at least checks some of the boxes (I know there's no perfect match). I don't want to have to go through the process of finding someone that I'm attracted to (and they're attracted to me), doesn't care about doing much (the thought of frequent trips, brunches, etc makes me die inside), doesn't want biological kids, etc. It doesn't help that most people I know have gotten at least one divorce, so what are my chances that it would last? I've resigned to the idea that I'll be single my whole life and I'm honestly okay with it. In the past, people have said I'm coping, but I honestly don't care about finding that special someone. I'm in my 30s. If I really cared, I think I'd try to put some effort into it. I do sometimes feel weird that I don't care though.
I’m to the point where I’ve contemplated suicide for awhile over this, i don’t outwardly portray any signs, as people hate a debbie downer, I’ve gotten therapy but that only worked so much. I worked out and went to the gym as guys say, and while it did help for a bit, The thought of “What will the result even be for this effort? I’m still going to be treated the same.” Absolutely crushed me. I’m in the darkest moment of my life currently. Found out my “friends”weren’t really friends at all, I cut them off. When i try to talk to my parents about it, they basically say: “you need to figure this out yourself.” I have no support.
You've got this king, don't lay your crown on the ground just yet. Life may not be anything close to what you want or the way it should be but you do have a purpose and a reason to keep going even if you don't know what it is yet. You're going to do great things in this life, and you'll be able to do that because you made it through this hard time! <3
I've never been in a relationship before with anyone that I wasn't already good friends with beforehand. It just sort of happens. From skimming other comments, it sounds like a lot of people feel this is the best possible way to start one
I forgot you guys had a long weekend with veterans day. Very lucky, my country couldn't care less for veterans. It's celebrated on the 7th of April but the state nor the people celebrate it. It isn't all that bad at least we have the 1st (All Saints day) and 11th of November (Armistice day). Nowadays having a tough skin is necessary but you must balance it to avoid a certain apathy. Oh well I'm still here and have a great day!
I don't want this to come off as the "RAWW MERICA' " Type of comment but that is one of the few things that I love about the states is that we care about our veterans. Memorial day, Veterans day, and such. We may not alway fight for the right causes, but at least those forced to go are *Mostly* loved and honored when they come home!
I have no hatred towards either of the girls, I hope that they're doing well! I just feel like the whole situation that were in now a days just kinda sucks and its on both sides.
Tried dating a few times in my life, just found it to be a huge waste of time, im engaged to the most wonderful girl now, and the way we met, was that we started hanging out, not dating, and over time we grew closer, doing it casual and over time like that seem to be alot better than going on these weird dates with all these pre programmed expectations.
Some advice as a woman in a happy long-term relationship: stop trying to force relationships. Things happen naturally. Why even bother going on dating apps when it's mostly pathetic, desperate men? If you're better than them, don't use it. It's too easy to ghost from all ends online (happened to me once but with a friend). And when you meet a woman that you get along with, don't expect a romantic relationship out of it. No one owes you anything. It's really easy to tell if someone is just out for one because they're lonely and just like the idea of love, not finding love itself. If it's meant to be, it'll happen.
Been through this so so so many times very relatable. Had some really bad experiences early on then kinda shelled up as a mechanism to protect my own mental health which ironically makes things harder. I like to take a lot of accountability as it’s the only way I am able to change anything, it’s really hard to maintain a positive mental state when you realise you are the consistent variable between all your own dates becomes harder and harder to keep your mental health and sense of self intact. I don’t really blame anyone specific like a lot of radical beliefs I don’t think it’s about gender more so technology and choice agony. Thanks for posting this dude it’s really nice to hear a more neutral voice this is what we need more of.
Hey Dan! I’ve only been watching for a couple of weeks but just wanted to leave a comment and say I think this is brilliant! Just chilling and taking about life is honestly something I find really refreshing to watch / listen to For me personally- I am lucky enough to be feeling happy most of the time these days, it really is all ups and downs but keep pushing!! Can’t wait to see what life brings you next! 👏👏
Thank you! I'm glad that you're here! Having great days most of the time is amazing! I hope it didn't come off as my life is terrible haha because it definitely isn't! It was just one of those bad weeks that I feel like most people have every now and again, and I wanted to make people feel like it was okay to have that happen.
@@Danull587 Not at all! I hope making these videos helps to make the lows hurt a little less, from the viewers perspective it helps too- truly. Definitely helps when things feel like its just me dealing with things to see it's not just me aha! Keep pushing, onwards and upwards 😄
Hey! I found your channel a few days ago, I'm glad I did. I enjoy listening to you talk about anything while playing Minecraft, the topics and talks are really interesting and I find myself relating to your experiences. Thank you for the videos! I'll keep watching!
I have really low self esteem, I’ve discovered that much in this past half a year. I was starting to beat myself up for dumb BS at work that was completely out of my control, when I really should have not dwelled on it so much. I honestly can’t pinpoint what started this “it’s all my fault” mentality, it bothers me
I get that, I’m still struggling with the exact same thing. It’s hard to get over it, I’ve made myself get up take a breath and remind myself that it’s okay. It’s a bad day, not a bad life!
32, male, autistic - dating has never been easy, if just not a viable option for me altogether. Especially these days it feels like a minefield at the amount of places that are apparently not appropriate to meet people. When the only other options seem to be things like dating apps, that for some reason are encouraged to use, and to actually find they are the absolute worst way to find potential partners. It's hard not to feel like things are just fucked for most people in general now. Most "luck" I've had was with a couple friends during adolescence, or coworkers (also not a good idea more often than not). Some common advice now is to just focus on yourself and hobbies, however with many of mine being solitary or primarily indoors, I don't think I'd ever get out anywhere. Trying to be happy on my own, a lot of it is a mindset. Thing is, external factors can be very real, and depression can simply negate a lot of things that tend to fulfill you. Love to make art, to play and design games, to write, but there comes a point even when my routine loving autist mind gets tired of repeating the same cycle over and over again when it seems like I've got nothing left to look forward to - I'll likely never own my own place, never find a decent job let alone get to work something I actually like, and not finding intimacy I crave is just a cherry on top of all that, unfortunately.
26 now and this hits hard. I'm in a creative slump right now of wanting to design things but having little motivation, currently in the process of pushing through it. The cycle of repetitiveness is incredibly weighty, wanting to be more self sufficient but efforts made towards that always seem to fall flat. Realising that you'll always struggle with even finding dates, and the interactions that follow when you do get that far is just soul sucking. I've had the mindset of even if a friendship comes from a date that's atleast something, but it doesn't seem like even that's likely. "Some common advice now is to just focus on yourself and hobbies", like maaaaan maybe? But my group of friends has remained identical since I was a teenager and has only shrunk if anything, and I am yet to meet new friends, let alone women through Unreal or Blender lol. That being said, keep working on yourself for yourself as cliché as it is, fight the mindset when it tries to self sabotage your ability to be happy. Let it win sometimes even, I've found letting yourself feel that bad sometimes can almost be a cheat code with the numbness/indifference that can follow. I don't really know what the purpose of writing all this was but I felt compelled to, I suppose its nice to know that you aren't the only one sometimes. Keep designing games, that shit is awesome and fulfilling as fuck.
Don't feel bad. I'm not autistic (at least I don't think I am) and dating hasn't been easy... Or more like I just can't be bothered with it? I'm also 32, male, and only have a little bit of dating experience. My dating experience only comes from friends that tried to set me up with their coworkers because they thought we'd be cute together. They stopped trying to set me up after a couple dates. Lol What's weird is that I don't really care much about dating or having a significant other. I just can't be bothered to even try. I think I'm average looking, so I don't think I'd have much trouble if I tried. As men, unless the other person is really forward, we're supposed to be the ones that make the first move. So, we can forget about anyone ever asking me out. I think a major thing for me is that I just don't care about doing much of anything. I have no real passions, save for music and the occasional concert (like once a year). What person would be into that? Aside from my career, I have no drive whatsoever. And even with my career, I feel like I've gotten comfortable and now I'm stagnating. Do I think about what it would be like to have a significant other? Sure. It's not enough for me to take action though. I just think about the whole rigamarole of dating and trying to find someone that at least checks some of the boxes (I know there's no perfect match). I don't want to have to find someone that I'm attracted to (and they're attracted to me), doesn't care about doing much (the thought of traveling a lot, brunches, etc makes me die inside), doesn't want biological kids, etc. It doesn't help that most people I know have gotten at least one divorce. I've resigned to the idea that I'll be single my whole life. And you know what? I'm honestly okay with it. In the past, people have said I'm coping, but I honestly don't care about finding that special someone. At 32, if I really cared, I think I'd try to put some effort into it.
I'm asperger and I also can tell you that what happens too is that public enviroments are poorly designed so other people aren't going outside a lot too I played in multiple sports clubs and I once was in a stadium with only 4 people per hour
35, aspiecel, and I've had the exact same experience. Well, minus having any friends. But no dating experience, KHHV, stuck at home, and can't get a decent job despite having two STEM degrees. Asperger just leads to a relentlessly difficult life that never seems to ease up and allow you room to take a breather.
I feel you. I never dated anyone at a bar before irl, mainly because I don't drink and party, then it's the fear of getting hit on the drunk (and wrong) guys. Really looking for a romantic relationship but the only way I can get that is through long distance relationships, but they suck because you never know if It's going somewhere or not...
Dating doesn't suck, people suck. If you want dates to not suck, then stop dating obnoxious extroverted social media addicts and ESPECIALLY do not look for dates in the club
If my wife and I ever seperate there are only two ways for me. Either I get in a relationship with a woman that already knows me (like a good friend or something) or I will stay single forever. Last time I dated was 15 years ago and I hated it.
@@user-vi4xy1jw7e Yes. It's not thst hard to do. Just establish from the beginning of the relationship that you do not want to bone every girl you see. You know, like a normal human being. I am so much best friends with a woman, I didn't had a best man, but a maid of honour at my wedding.
Ngl, I was randomly recommended this video in my feed. I don't watch any Minecraft or dating videos. But hey it seemed like something I wanna listen to and I subbed anyway :)
Now the second girl could also do a video like this and complain the same way. She had countless dates where dudes were just creeps, weirdos, annoying. And then that one time where a dude is reasonable, nice and likable, that dude doesn't want a second date. The first girl just didn't want to give you this response. But basically you were the first girls version in the second date. Just less disrespectful.
no clue how this popped into my recomended but honestly im in the same boat as you (im 25). Its incredibly frustrating being a guy rn. when I used dating apps I frequently matched with the "stoner gals" and honestly it was just depressing. Im not their therapist or father and a lot of those people are broken beyond belief and or repair. A lot of people have telling me to try to meet a church girl. Havent tried that yet but idk I got nothing to lose so I might try it.
Like don't get me wrong I don't care if you smoke, but don't let it be your only personality trait. I should probably try a church girl too I think that would be the best option, but I'm so anti social there I'm not sure how thats gonna work 😂
The best method I've found to find the right girl to date and build a family with is to never give her up. A girl won't ever forgive you if you let her down. If you do that to her, she will run around and dessert you.
Women are utterly broken. I think it's either the micro plastics are messing with their hormonal balance, something in the water, or birth control. But something is causing them to be how they are, and it isn't natural... It's said women don't know what they want, but their actions and decisions are just so pathetic these days. Blocking you, despite having a good time? Why would she do something so infantile and inconsiderate? Why not just be open and honest and text you back saying "Sorry, you're a great guy, but not what I am looking for" or something like that? Why is being respectful and considerate and communicating openly like an adult such an issue for women? It's like they want to be self destructive and anti social. What a mind field! I've basically given up on it all, like a lot of men. It isn't worth it. I know my worth, and won't reduce myself to chasing around after women that have no common sense or morals. I value my time too much.
My big take away from this video is start something new. It can be hard but start small. When starting something new you are almost guaranteed to be bad at it so don’t let that discourage you. Habits you start could be: Going to the gym Running Cycling Swimming Walks/hikes Sports Learning an instrument Reading books Stretching/yoga Gardening There is lots more. But if you feel that you spend lots of time being lazy, try and start something new but START SMALL. For example start with 3 minutes of stretching a day and work yourself up for doing 30 minutes. I hope my little rant might help someone. I really enjoy this style of video Danull
I don't know what it is either. I know moral standings make it difficult. I find it hard to find people with good morals or people who don't do drugs/drink heavily. There's that "bad boy" factor where some women go after the bad boys because they're more assertive. It's better than the "nice guy" who can be too nice and let people walk on them. Or they're too concerned with every little action and won't make moves or be exciting. Being 30 makes it harder because, like you said, the good women have their partner already. Or they're single for a reason for this long. Or they have a child. So many factors at play.
