I tell my family I’m tired but they don’t understand stand what I really mean I’m tired of hurt pain jealousy worry anger I’m so tired of myself cuz it all comes down to me I hate everything but I hate me the most
It’s coming from all sides my family life me I’m trying to win a losing game what the point when it happens they are going be like why I guess I never let them know
She left me, I know she won't come back. The worst type of pain is when you gave them the chance to change but they stab you in the back and don't care. It's when they act like nothing happened, like you weren't best friends for years. It's when they act like it's your fault, or when they act like they didn't promise to stay by your side. That is really the worst type of pain.
It’s not even like you want to die, you just want the pain the stop, the frustration, broken, anger and negative feelings to stop so you think dying would help that
They always say “ you are enough, the world needs you, you are special” but How am I special? How does the world need me? I’m just a middle school student with a fucked up mind. And the truth is, if I killed myself right now, which is tempting to even write, my so called friends would only grieve for half an hour. Then they would go back to sketching the most unrealistic people that make me feel like an even bigger pig then I know I am. So tell me. Why does the world need me?
My mom told me a story ,about this guy on a beach he was walking and he saw this guy throwing seastars in there were thousands of them on the beach he walks up to the guy and says why are you doing that there's are thousands of them you never be able to put them all back in the ocean the guy looks at him and says you right but he pick up a sea star and throws it in the ocean I made a difference for him ,even if you make a difference for one living creature in your life your life was worth living
How easy it is to fake being okay and pretend to be happy when deep down you can't feel a thing.Feeling so numb and empty not knowing what day it is because you feel like it's just a never ending cycle.I wake up and i think again really?I have to deal with all of this again.
My Grammy will say why can't you just ask for help I was like how do I do that if y'all are busy or don't understand okay how do I ask for help if I mentally can't because when I try to scream for help it's like a overwhelming wave comes over me to keep my mouth shut and saying if I say my problem then I will upset them and now my problem is there's and they have enough problems already so I keep my mouth shut and smile through this shit
Every day i wanna die Everyday i try to aviod to go out Every day i cry over 2to3 hours Everday i can't even bare looking at food Everyday i lie about being okay Everyday i feel like i am falling deeper in this hole i am in Everyday i think how would i be if i was happy Everyday i wonder when is this pain gonna go Everyday i feel like i am nothing Everyday i fake a smile Everyday i think whats the point of me being here Everyday i wonder how long will i live before i end up dying
You know that feeling... Where u have no energy. Where... U wake up but u don't want to get out of ur bed bc u have no motivation. Where u cry day and night begging the pain to leave u alone. But no matter how far u run it always caches up. Where it always comes back to u, Where u sit and stair at a wall or something. When all u feel is numb, Where, u don't even care anymore, u walk across a road, and u don't even look both ways, bc u could care less. That deep down u want a car to hit u. When all u feel is agonizing pain, physical and mental. Where u sit in ur room and cry until u can't cry no more. When u hurt urself and think " I deserve this pain " that u just want to sleep ur hole life bc the truth is, sleep is ur heaven. Where u try and try to be good enough. Where u always put on a smile even when u don't want to but u do it anyways, so people don't worry Abt u. Where u just want to die. To take the pain away. Bc I do. But somehow u still manage to get back up and try it again. Love Isabella,
@emilydeitz7513 I hope this is Em and this is meant for me :) I pray it is. Had a meeting tonight it was about regrets all I could talk about is the love I lost
and i’m tired of being called dramatic. i’ve lost myself. and it’s because he walked out. so easily. he’s all i’ve ever had and now i’m back in this lonely place. filled with nothing but nothingness.
He left me when I needed him the most, he saw me crying on the flor, he saw me breaking down and herd me say that I couldn’t do this anymore, he was whit me when I hade one of the worst panic attacks I ever had, he saw was whit me when I was so high I couldn’t even talk, he held me when I cried and says he would always be there for me but that one night, when I called him crying, having so much anxiety and was so stressed I couldn’t handle it, when I said I couldn’t do it anymore, that I hade no hope left he just left, whit out telling me why. I don’t know what to do anymore, I’m feeling so empty
Im 13 Iv talk to so many people about it because all they tell me Im fine because if always seemed so happy during the day but they dont know what i do when everyone is asleep Where we chosen for this Why where we chosen for this
I always said to people " Your pretty, be yourself" but I always use skincare to not have pimples. And when I have one I always block it with my hand and act like there nothing.
I'm dead inside so why can't i tell my father it's his fault is it the fear of him hurting me or the mental abusive trauma he put me through and the fear that he can so easily walk back into my life and I can't kick him out i bet he doesn't even care about me he made me feel like I'm no one only broken and pain.
