It’s me trying to watch this while irritated because I’m having a hard time getting of the phone with my mom after telling her a million times I hate sitting otp while I work🙃
The editing of this video. Angles. Esthetic. Script. Decorum. Message. *chefs kiss* now THIS is using the gift that God gives you and not keeping it dormant and multiplying it tenfold
“To live is the rarest thing in the world. most people exist, that is all” My mum has this quote tattooed on her arm and it inspired me to make a video about this same subject
Be disciplined with your tongue. Don't give your opinion, for every little topic. Breath.....before making a decision. Forgive your self. Let go. Focus on your future self, by taking care of your present. Do these exercises bit by bit. Forcing these acpects will only lead to YOUR disappointment. ❤
This was a great video, I wish it was longer ❤ One thing that helped me tremendously was making a plan of action before interaction. I said to myself “when she mentions this guy to me knowing how it makes me feel I am going to immediately end the call.” I was naïve thinking maybe she doesn’t realize what it does to me but that was foolish. After that we didn’t speak for 8 months and it was infinitely easier to assert my boundaries with all others. When your boundaries almost have a physical quality to them people might see you as cold or soulless.. and one will need to be okay with that possibility in order to maintain the integrity of their boundaries. Thanks for sharing your light ☀️
I just got to ask what camera ? Also do you have a community for filmmaking, it's such a huge interest of mine and I feel stuck since I left film school to go study marketing done now and I feel forced to chase another dream of getting my Pr before going to film school but I am dying inside. I actually came here to watch your video after i saw it on tiktok. well done.
First, damn girl you got film skills. Secondly, as a Black American I was raised that children don't have boundaries, there is no saying no to the adults, you do as you're told. I remember once my brother said he didn't want to go over a family friend's house (an adult) because she was mean to him, he got his ass beat for being disrespectful. So, it was understood as a kid respect to the adults meant, compliance, telling ppl what they wanted to hear, being used as a gofer and never being your true self in case it embarrassed your parents. As an adult it remains the same, those ppl (your family and family friends) still feel entitled to dismiss you as a person. And when you do try to set boundaries, there's something wrong with you. Finally, this month I had enough, my grandmother, who is the greatest abuser of, I'm your elder and you must respect me thing. She took request from ppl as to what they wanted for Thanksgiving at her house, having not heard from my GM in a month, out the blue I got a text from her with the list of things these ppl want and it's my responsibility to get it. She never asked me. One of these things are a charcuterie board, which are not cheap. That was it for me, I took a few days, having to fight the long-installed guilt response, I knew I had to let her know about herself. Of course, afterwards, she was the victim but at that point I knew this game well. I said GM, you're entitled to your feelings, and I'm entitled to mine. It was one of the hardest things I did, but it had to be done. (Sorry for the long comment)
I have found that denying request that goes against my intuition or even evokes a negative emotion, I say No without over explaining, and leave it at that.
Wow your editing is unmatched 😍. Currently, I am navigating my boundaries this season by coming home to myself. I can physically feel in my body when I have given too much of myself or given too much of myself too quickly. Lot of the boundaries that I need to set or with myself, so I can protect my own energy, so I can come home and be safe and secure and stable with my own body. I have been so used to giving and giving and giving and thinking that that was love. Coming back to self coming back to self love is exactly where I need to be. And that is the advice that I would giveto continually come back to self and focus on self love. And then giving to others and small increments.
Thank you so much for the enlightenment. As a teen, there's this feeling of always wanting to please people at the expense of my values an moral standing. So, bit by bit, day by day I learn to put my foot down and not caring about what others think.
The best way to gain respect from others is not to give it but to respect yourself first. Be form on what you believe in. Not everything is for you often times we feel the need to act when people bring up problems but some shit just not your problem and you don’t have to deal with any of it
set my boundaries straight this past weekend and guess what i got in return, of course, the usual from my mother; silent treatment and just how she’s operating out of spite. all i can say is, i am tired of being sorry of my whole being, i am human. i deserve to live and not be confined in what is called: my mother’s expectations of me.
I loved your video and you speak of a topic I also struggle with. Still haven’t find a way to set ho boundaries. It helped me becoming a mum. However, I still can’t say NO to protect me.
Beautiful, insightful and inspiring video. Thank you! Just a quick response to navigating the "respect" issue with elders from "the continent". Born a rebel, from a rebel woman, what I have consistently told my "elders", in Africa and elsewhere, is that if Hitler were still alive today, he'd be my elder, but I sure as hell don't owe him respect... So age is only one of many potentially relevant variables in the "respect" conversation, and my bottom line is that mutuality is not negotiable. Led me to not speak to family members that don't agree with that. Too bad, but I gained peace and stopped wasting energy. The world is filled with amazing people to love, respect and be loved and respected by, so blood and ancestry is no longer the Holy Grail for me. Learned that the hard way when my beloved mother died. So, much love and peace to you all💓!
ive grown up putting others before me, something that is so deeply ingrained. a lesson ive been learning these past few years to help with boundaries, and to ask myself "how does this feel?" "how does this make me feel?" and at times its confronting and uncomfortable, but overtime its becoming to become second nature in realising how I feel, and acting accordingly with boundaries that reflect that.
Gwwwwooorrrrllllll the way I just cried. At your intro. The ancestral default settings within seriously has the strong women in my family in a chokehold in 2024 and I can’t. My creativity is CRYING for me! And all I can seem To do is half-function in fear of their disappointment and half-function in ANTICIPATION AND EXCITEMENT FOR THE NEW LIFE I’m Building in the shadows for myself! But whew….uncomfortable enlargement…exactly that. That’s where I am. Imagine me having to say my first no at 30 wow. Thank you. My letter is to my already rebellious 7 year old self who is sister/mother and maidservant of her own home rather than 7 year old child. She has grieved already and can’t relate to any of her non-colorful classmates and lives a quiet isolated life of religion and cleaning and child-rearing, meal cooking and self-soothing with whatever is left. Give yourself grace. The truth is love really does exist even within when you don’t see it externally. Strive for everything that makes you happy. ❤ Geez. Thanks. Lots of love to you. ❤ and to all the third-culture kids & first born daughters. I see you. 💕
As the eldest daughter, the friend that always has space for people to trauma dump on , and someone who once allowed people herself to shrink small… Setting boundaries in this season has been hard, scary, but rewarding. Everytime I speak up for myself now, I feel elated . It’s scary at first sometimes, because still struggle often when thinking that others will perceive me as "rude". But I don’t care… I deserve to hold space for me 💜 I am intentional with forming boundaries where they are need going forward .
