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Today my girlfriend discussed her decision on taking a break. She’s currently going through a lot. She is currently in an eating disorder rehab centre. All her emotions have dabbed down a lot including the love and support for me. Because she’s working on herself the energy she has to give to towards me is very draining. Eventhough I made it clear that I don’t have expectations, she feels like she still has to fulfill some. It’s really difficult for me and I cannot wrap my head around yet, figuring she was my one and only person who I could talk to about my own issues. But I want to respect her expectations. It could take months until she’s in a state where we could try and reconnect. I’m really scared for the future. I hope we can get through all of this because we have gone through so incredibly much together already and 99.9% wouldn’t have stayed with her until this point. I might try to find a therapist, because I need to get all the thoughts off of my mind and make sense of it all
There is no such thing as “a break”. That’s a break up. Period. If you can’t talk it out or find a way to resolve whatever the issue is the hit the door. I’m not gonna wait and be lead on because you can’t figure out what you want to do. Kevin Hart said it best “Let it float in the air…. And disappear.” Y’all need to stop playing games with people and start being adults. This is not high school.
I feel like doesn't matter who decide "we need a break" and whoever respond okay and how long a break we need? If he/she respond idk I'm not sure then that right there stop and don't waste your time. Move on and good bye cause what will happen is, she/he will go out on dates behind your back then one day he/she will say hey we are done okay then other person who been respectful and giving space been clowned. So if a woman ever told me we need a break, I'll ask her time frame and she doesn't give me the answer, then bye bye cause I ain't going to be the one being stupid at the end finding out she move on either without or even telling me at the end bye haha.
We are calling this a break up, But we are not dating other people just focusing on ourselves, we said a break would be good but the title of boyfriend girlfriend might intimidate the idea of a break and not work. So is a breakup okay? It was a health break break up
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Hi my bf wants cool- off he gave me time frame like 3-6 months. And he said after those months if we are going to meet again, if it works out he said it's good and he will marry me. He's depressed and stress from work and family problem and we always fighting because of our own problems. He said that it's a hard decision, he's crying in pain and said he wants to retrieve his love for me he wants rest from love or relationship or me. He cannot focus. But I want to court him and bring back what's lost. Is his love for me really slowly gone?. But he said he hopes that our promises going to work. We talk before cooling off. Is it okay if I court him and show him my love while cool off?
Breaks are weird. I agree that you can grow alone, I've been in a relationship that lasted 4 months, we had a lot of common things, humor, share same interests etc, we only had a hard a small argue once, it's true it was a rebound for both of us, we all know that saying: easy come, easy go .. I had a shorter moment when I got cold a bit, I felt something from her also, when I realised things and tried to get back to giving love at 1000% again when I was on a business trip in Germany for a few days, when I got home, that day she packed my stuff and said she wants a break to figure out what she wants and how she wants it, that was end of February 2023, she said that day that she loves me and doesn't want me to think she is misleading me, I wrote and she replied a few times the next 3 days, I called her to meet up on womens day to give her a rose, haven't messaged or anything since, only wished her happy birthday in may, I was devastated and didn't know what happened and why, sadly I made a mistake by asking her friend online .. I regret that, I did figure out things in time and I feel I grew a lot, she didn't write or greet me on my bd, she did block my messages on FB, anyways my brain knows this is not what I deserve, I did meet a girl who was next to me when I lost someone very important, I am better in relationships now, I'm dating her since May 2023, taking it slow and steady, she is next to me, to be honest I have feelings for the girl who wanted the break , but this is not what I need, I wanted to marry her but I wouldn't leave the current girl for her, recently I bumped into her bff with husband by accident at the train station while I was picking up the girl I'm dating since May, we held hands and probably she knows now from her bff that I'm on the dating scene, anyways it's her loss if she didn't message or anything, I know my worth, my brain tells me that it's better this way and it's true , but i wish I could forget the "ex" who never showed up since she asked for a break.. it's been almost a year and it's non sense, I hope to forget her, sincerely
My partner and I were in a relationship for 10 years. I'm a freelance artist/illustrator and love to go on occasional bike trips. I asked my partner for a much needed break - a solo bike trip where I can also draw on my tablet. She said it was a good idea for both of us but later when we were getting close to that (healthy) break, she started panicking, she told me she has abandonment issues because of her parents. Later she started being fine again and chatting a lot on her phone. Seven days before the break she completely discarded me, monkey branched to a guy she knew :(
This video is helping me through this current break. This is my first time doing this so it’s very scary and nerve wracking since I’m so used to just saying bye to my past partners, never had the chance to actually discuss taking a break with my partner til now.
What if they hurt their spouse? The spouse isn't or was never afraid of being hurt? They are afraid to be hurt or shown the action that was displayed. So the accuser the suspect alway is trying to get over? I don't believe it is healthy.
My Wife decided years ago that I was not worth touching or kissing or anything else. She loves her cell phone, dogs and doing things for others rather than attending to our relationship needs. Defensive and pissed off whenever it is brought up (no matter how tender and careful). Insists "it's completely normal" but will not seek professional help.
I'm in a long distance relationship, and I was just on video call with my gf yesterday night talking about a potential breakup after 16 months of being together. She wanted it to work out, but my love language is physical touch and we barely see each other...so end of story, we decided to be on break so I can focus and figure out what I wanted (because I'm the person who initiated the "breakup"/break) any tips or advice on what I can do so im just not crying or being depressed over this hard truth?
I’m in the same situation as you buddy. Find hobbies and activities you’re passionate about to fill the time. Make new friends, go out if your comfort zone. Just broaden your horizons. And don’t, I repeat, don’t, text her.
Don't break up if you both love each other and don't wanna give. That's rare. On a similar boat as you. I understand the pain. Stay busy. Take care of your skin, hair, workout, and try to go out more for walks etc. The more you stay indoors alone, you'll be sad. This is what I think. Get back together buddy. She loves you!
I’m same as you, not yet asking my boyfriend a break. LDR is not easy. As long as you guys have ground rules then that’s fine. Sit with your feelings and figure out what you need to figure out
I’m in a loveless marriage , me as a man I’ve messed up but she uses it as a weapon because I’m no good . I try to look beyond my mistakes and not to do them again and I know what my weakness are and try to be better no cheating of course… but lately after 18 years of being together I am useless I’m no good to her to myself to no one , if I could I’d end this thing but something in me the coward inside won’t let me end it all…
The thing that kills me right now maybe the most is that I’m still holding out hope that I get her back. We didn’t discuss any of it before but after. And we don’t seem to see eye to eye on the seeing other people thing. I’ve seen plenty of people and was committed to her but I had my issues. She had love for me but is talking about seeing other men even if that was sexually. And she said she wanted nothing serious with the other men she talked too. I’m being supportive but I’m also scared because I can’t and don’t want to move on
It’s day 3 for me now. I’m eating again, started going to the gym. Did have a little angry phase last night and was kinda scary cuz it was turning into hate for women. But I quickly caught it and caught my head. Maybe it’s a good step for me because she had been talking to me today the most in a while. And honestly that’s all that matters because at the end of the day, we love each other and she is just living life that she didn’t have as a kid. As long as she is okay I’m okay
Taking a break is code for "we need some distance between us as I sort out the end of this relationship." There is no "taking a break" to help the relationship. It's over, move on.
that's not correct. my boyfriend and i took a break 1 year ago and after 2 weeks of not speaking we both realised that we wanted to stay together, but even then we continued the break for 2 more weeks. taking that break gave us both time to improve ourselves to improve our relationship. we came back stronger than ever and we still are now, breaks don't always mean the end in a relationship. a break in a healthy relationship should mean taking a couple weeks to recoup after a fight, if you really love each other and you know you want to be together, a break will always end better for both parties than just breaking up when something goes wrong.
you are so sweet and nice!!! thank you so much for your time and for explaining this hard topic with such joy and excitement. hope all the best for you 😊
This is really helpful. I’m in love with my boyfriend and we need to discuss how we both feel, and this makes me feel a lot better about it. I want what is best for the both of us.
My girlfriend kept this decision for herself during 6 months. How long should I wait before talking to her about this. Since she took 6 months to decide this should i give her more time?
I got into a fight with him yesterday and I took it as us just breaking up, when to be honest he just wanted a break to reflect. Im scared because I feel he won't come back but he is his own person and requires time
@@Ireneeeee27 no we didn’t my baby. He said he wanted to be single a month after I posted that. I’ve healed. Are you going through a breakup of your own?
@@busiiee yes I am, he wanted to end because of the petty fights we had everyday. I called his friend he then talked to him. We ended up on a decision that he wants a 6 month no contact. But he’s saying that he isn’t quite sure if he’ll still have the feelings
@@Ireneeeee27 that sounds like a breakup to me. In as much as you most likely don’t want to hear it, I suggest you move on. It’s going to be hard but my best advice for you is that you feel and express every single emotion you need to feel right now. That way you move on faster and heal properly. Don’t use anyone to get over him. Don’t go out and pretend everything is fine when it’s not. You have to become whole again on your own. One thing I’ve learnt is that no man wants to be away from the woman he loves. The fact that he is asking for space for half a year is insane. If it was a shorter period of time I’d understand but he’s gone my baby. I wish you all the best 🤍
@@Ireneeeee27hey, how are things after 8 months? are you still without him and are you coping okay? i hope you’re doing good regardless of what your situation is x
How do I get over the pain of feeling rejected and not good enough. I know i’m ‘good enough’, I really did do my absolute best and he told me I couldn’t have done better, and I understand if that spark just kind of fades for someone. But how do I process that if he wants to get back together? How can I trust in the fact he isn’t just gonna lose interest again in a few more months? I want my relationship to work, but i’m just so immensely heart broken by the fact that he does not want to be with me right now. Any tips?
Same situation but roles reversed im blindsided but at the same time treated my highschool sweetheart of four years poorly the last few months not showing how much I care etc, she needs time because she dosent know what she wants she says and I can say I trust and respect her enough to see her life is hectic right now and her being unhappy with our relationship didn’t help her.
Im hoping showing her in my actions and no longer rambling on with words maybe if we’re meant to be the space will be healthy for the both of us and we can rebuild a better relationship but if not at least im taking care of myself in my actions improving everyday
thank you so much, this is really positive, my partner ask for a break and I've been miserable this video really helpful to help me calm down, thank you so much I hope you always healthy and always spread positive things
i see so many comments on insta etc saying things like “oo yeah we broke up after the break, but i hope yall are going to be okay” LIKE OK BRENDA THAT IS NOT GOING TO HELP US. UR SCARING ME.
I've been using this time to stream more and I made a brand new best friend! I am really happy! It's just a shame she isn't happy, i mean that's why we took our break in the first place
I am a srt8 grandpa and hate to live my last years on my own and hate to sleep alone. So how can I follow your rules? when my doc has suggested that I don't sleep alone?
Our couple have always been against taking a break until we hit a point where the issues aren't being solved. Thank you so much for all of these tips, we have definitely implemented it.
@@wnatalia3281 a lot of down before ups because we actually broke up a long the way, let's say we're both at the better place now and we know a lot more about ourselves than before
I've only seen this and another one of your videos, but I just want to say they are so different from other coaches and people I've seen, and they are so helpful and you have the sweetest voice
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I needed this. Taking a break in a relationship is driving me crazy tbh. I'm a firm believer of either talking it out or break up. There's no in between. I'm new to cooling off so yeah, I need videos like this to help me. 😔
@@Mountains4every’all get back together ? Atleast you only had to wait 2 weeks my girl saying could take months for her to get her shi together and I don’t know how to feel about it
Men, do not hesitate for one moment to put a restraining order against your female partner if you feel your safety and health is in jeopardy. Placing a permanent restraining order on my female partner was absolutely the wisest protective move of my adult lifetime. My only regret is not doing it years earlier. Men, be safe!