The purpose of this channel is to bring greater awareness of mental, emotional, and relational health issues to viewers. We hope that the content of these videos will offer you further insight into your own relational and mental health journey. This channel will feature interviews and presentations with licensed therapists and other mental health professionals that have a clinical focus or expertise in the topic of discussion. We hope the content of these videos will be of benefit to you!
Well, apparently this tactic doesn’t get old for them 🎉 shame on them for coming between parent and child for no good reason except to cover up their shortcomings very wrong and the system affords them the luxury to badger the other parent
It's truly confusing this gaslighting because people who live in the past accumulating all their partners wrong are toxic .Naming and shaming destroys relationships. Sort out you issues maturely and respectfully and move on in peace .The passed has too demons
So is it common to see sex addicts to attach to religions like Orthodox or Catholicism because they are works based, self-sacrificing? Is there ANY hope of just NORMALCY and healing in him???? All the betrayals and now I learn "he's healed" but now he's renouncing protestantism and now is Orthodox/Catholic. All done in secret.
PIED caused the sexual distress yet I had nothing to do with that. I was blamed tho. Told I wasn't good enough I wasnt what he wanted anymore. He had 5 affairs going at the time. Now he's a sex love porn addict. How the hell do you cope with that ?
I should do a video on PIED (p*rn-induced er3ctile dysfunction for those who don’t know). I’m sorry your were made to feel that way. Have you seen my series on gaslighting? If not, I included a link below. But whether you watch it or not, I want you to know I do not believe we have the power to drive people to drinking or drive people into the arms of other people. I know that doesn’t “fix” things for you, but I hope the words might be comforting, even if just a little. Thanks for supporting the channel. 12 Types of Gaslighting - ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-6XANUX7K2aU.htmlsi=LbFkWsJ4UorMwHpC
@RecoveryTV4u Thank you. Gaslighting denial blame shifting and narcissistic tendency I believe played a role so thank you for the video it truly explains a lot. To help me through I've also upped my serotonin levels naturally. Sunshine exercise and foods to bring it up. I'm hoping to help others who walk this ugly path.
Staci Sprout lost her LCSW license promising patients she could recover memories of their sexual assault by humanoid "reptiles" and "ETs" ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE--TV1vpwnfag.html No one should listen to these bizarre false conspiracy claims. I am a scientist who conducts this research, and can verify Sprout fabricated her claims.
i held in my wife's obvious passes at my brother in law for a year and a half. When i couldn't hold it in anymore and confronted her she tried to gaslight me about a very specific situation and convince me i'm crazy. When i said if im having delusions i need to be in a psychiatric care facility, she said i should just call my mother to talk about it. When I said we can ask other people who witnessed the event to see what happened, she said she doesn't "know why we're even talking about this anymore." I don't know how to trust her anymore.
I caught on to my husband. I was being gaslighted by him and it hurt me like crazy. But, I realized, he can’t tell if he’s being gaslighted himself. I see how easily accepts lies. Made me think, what if his mother gaslighted him all his life. Something he’s used to. He sees what he wants to see. Maybe I’m onto something.
Pretty good stuff, I just realized that Mario updated his favorite way to tackle ED and it's crazy! Although what he previously talked about was pretty decent, it was difficult to follow, I just go'ogled the latest by Mario Volpstein, it's so much simpler and potent now!
So, what if your friend believes in conspiracy theories? Let's say they don't believe men went to the moon. How do you gaslight someone who does have a reality problem. You do know men and women have different scales on the MMPI, right?
I don’t know if you can gaslight someone with a “reality problem.” Seems like you’d just be presenting truth. A conspiracy theorist of that degree may believe the world at large has been gaslit by “the man” so-to-speak. 🤔 Good thought.
I’ve come to feel (not claiming I’m right or other options are wrong) that the most healthy thing a couple can do after infidelity is to go their separate ways, at least for a long, long time. Staying together is perpetuating toxicity and increases pain. It’s okay to let each other go to grieve, process, and heal. It’s wise to heal at your individual paces and abilities, and move forward as such. Each partner has to heal and fix what’s broken inside themselves. Yes, even the cheater-unhealthy, unhappy people do unhealthy, unhappy things. The betrayed needs space and much help too. That happens at different paces and to varying degrees, so being together can interrupt or even thwart each partner’s healing and growth. If together, they inevitably continue hurting each other without even meaning to, so their own efforts to grow and overcome are misinterpreted, rejected and turned into weapons (yes, they are weaponized to some undeniable, but understandable degree) instead of being perceived as truly necessary improvements for healing and growing. Thus, damage to the relationship and their self-images is extended and deepened. Honestly, the couples I’ve known (which are many) never do fully “recover.” The betrayal never goes away. They forgive but can never, ever forget. It’s there to stay, causing triggering and flooding for years/decades to come. Many stay together, but there’s little-to-no joy in their eyes. Just regret, fear, pain, scarring, and low-grade misery/resignation. Both deserve to move forward to someone who brings joy back into their life. If a family member broke your trust by molesting/SA-ing you, would ANYONE think it was healthy to continue having a relationship with that person and encourage you to be with your betrayer (who shattered your life as you know it) every day?? I don’t believe deeply broken trust and a shattered relationship/life/world cannot be healed amidst continued daily contact. Partners deserve so very much more. This is just my humble opinion based on many decades of experience. Again, not claiming I’m right and anyone else is wrong. Also, I do sincerely wish healing, peace and joy for all.
Bro, I am not even sure what you mean “ your feeling matters “ even though it’s based only on emotions. My wife is mad at me because I could not find a gift for her birthday. What should I do ? Does it really matter ? I’ve been with you through thick and thin you’re mad at me for such a dumb event. I wanted to give her a great gift she would really appreciate but she’s so picky and hard to please. So what do I do ?
Thanks for watching and subscribing. The last of the series on Safety Exploitation was just published yesterday. Please check it out if you haven’t already. 😁👍
So, I'm at the end, and i still don't understand it. Are you doing talk therapy WHILE they're moving their eyes? Like, asking them questions or having them tell their trauma story over again or having them repeat a loud, a certain thought, idea, mantra, memory??? Are asking them to just THINK about the trauma??? I'm still quite confused what's happening during the eye movement.
I sent your question to Rebel, one of the therapists on this podcast episode. I asked her to provide a brief response, which probably doesn’t do it justice, but hopefully it helps. Please also check out the show notes to find teh article Rebel wrote about EMDR. Here is Rebel’s response. hope it helps: “That is a great question. This is a short version answer. It is not talk therapy. After getting a thorough assessment and identifying distressful experiences, you and the therapist will identify the EMDR target which consists of an image from the memory, an associated negative belief, and body sensations. You’ll then bring up the target in your mind while moving your eyes back and forth. During this time, you aren’t talking, only noticing your experience. The therapist will stop the eye movement, ask you to take a break, and ask you what you notice now. The therapist will invite you to “notice that” and repeat the process until the distress has decreased.” Let me know if you have more questions.
Once someone deceived you, you can no longer trust that person. Ever! It's not gaslighting, it's not reflection aggression. it's just reality. The deceiver needs to f off. That is the only remedy.
Can I ask I've never been completely honest with things that happen to me when I was a child. I was told why ruin so many people that had nothing to do with it. I haven't had sex since August 2009.. just in my head and using meth and living in horrible fantasy
How does one discern if one is being gaslit by a therapist or other health professional when one is already unsure of the correctness of their intuition about that person. If you address it head on the professional in question feels threatened and turns it back on you.
For anyone who has had the courage to get therapy, it is important to understand that therapy only works if the client feels safe and protected. If for some reason a client doesn’t feel safe with their therapist, then they should address the concern with the therapist. But if they don’t even feel safe doing that, then it might be time to find a new therapist.
Thank you for compassion to both partners. As the unfaithful, it's so comforting. You directed me on another comment I made and this has been helpful. I'll have to listen a couple times to really understand.
You are too kind. I know the CRC is a little complex, so I appreciate your effort to better understand it. I plan on doing more with it in the future, so please stay tuned. 😁
We all should feel betrayed for working a 4 hour week in 2020 with electricity water internet cable and 20$ of food, rather then getting the freedom to work 40 hours (and not a hour less). Now we are back to 100% true freedom and not a hour less on a wonderful planet that cannot be escaped. We should all smile and let our teeth sparkle. I like to reflect on resistance being protons, and rest being neutrons, during such blessed eternal (without end) times.
You know….that is a really good question. I know we can lie to ourselves, but not so sure if we can gaslight ourselves. I’ll have to think more on it, but my inclination is to say “no, gaslighting is something done TO US not something we do to OURSELVES.” But, I need to think on it more. Thanks for the questions.
I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 14 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 39 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous haters and are very miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker who follows women after work. All bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start gaslighting, smearing and bullying me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Just don't react and don't try to defend myself which will only go back and forth making me look even more guilty. Action always speaks louder than words. Just best to ignore them and let them find another easier target. Never let these low life lazy bums ever win.
Currently treating him like a well loved toddler. Barge into the office while I’m on an important business call (jealousy on his part has him constantly bombing my business deals) asking very loudly about where to put the baby wipes. (Seriously?) and I just answer him as if he were a well loved toddler. Oh honey! I’m so glad you found your wipes! You can keep like keep them in the bathroom? (He loves to embarrass me because I occasionally use flushable wipes *roll eyes*) I have tried therapy, individual and couples, talking to him rationally, writing letters, sharing videos. You name it. At this point it’s either lose my mind or disassociate (bye relationship) and fight back with the beloved addled spouse tactic. I’m still looking for Healthier ways of living in this relationship and ultimately my life ❤ good luck everyone
@@RecoveryTV4u I'm from Canada. What is your advice? Same here being bullied, mobbed, gaslighting, harassed at the hospital for over 14 years. I've happened to be the top worker for 39 years and have never been suspended. These bullies are jealous haters and are very miserable people. Union, manager, HR and the police are all totally useless. Bullies are lazy bums and stupid managers are scared of the bullies. They say I'm crazy, I drink, I'm a stalker who follows women after work. All bs defamation of character. The biggest mistake since they removed disciplinary measures. They should arrest the bullies and fire the manager. Action speaks louder than nasty words. It destroys my reputation. I will never quit to make these lazy bums ever win. If I decide to transfer to another hospital and may start gaslighting, smearing and bullying me once again, I don't know all the new managers etc. like in every department like now. So best to not change hospitals. I will never let bullies try to control me from quitting. Just don't react and don't try to defend myself which will only go back and forth making me look even more guilty. Action always speaks louder than words. Just best to ignore them and let them find another easier target. Never let these low life lazy bums ever win.
Great question! I believe that we do not need the cooperation of the perpetrator to effectively heal as an individual, but the relationship often does. The uncertainty this creates, IMO, is why I think there’s so much hesitancy to do recovery.
The current state of affairs has been changed, requiring the individual who betrayed someone to put in significant effort if they desire to repair the relationship. The individual who committed the betrayal should not anticipate that the partner or loved one will swiftly bounce back solely through offering an apology or going for couple therapy. This is due to the fact that the event has already transpired, leaving lasting marks on the neurons in our brain and our amygdala is still in hyper vigilance and not feeling safe with the situation and environment.
No mattet what it hurts but there too many situational differences to catagorize the healing process in each situation. Mine is different than anyone elses ...yes im dealing with the infidelity sure but now also the baby that untortunetly was born because of this selfish insecure choice. Ten years flushed down the toilet. Some things im not sure can be recovered or rehabilitated
Are you able to dive deeper into these? Like...is there a difference between one person making a big deal over something small, and someone thinking that the other person makes a big deal over something small...is that person necessarily gaslighting, or could the other person just blow up over small things? Or...could they each just have a different tolerance for what should constitute what is worth getting excited over...so it isn't gaslighting, but just different thresholds?
You’re acting like sex addicts have empathy about what their betrayed spouse is going through, by not wanting to disclose everything. No, my husband has to force/fake empathy. He doesn’t want to disclose everything, because he doesn’t want to be seen any different than the image he has constructed.
Yes, a lot of times when we talk about it, we talk about it from the angle where addicts feel guilty for what’s happened because that’s mostly what we have experienced. That said, we definitely have had the situation you described at times. I’m making a note to address that in a future video or on our Therapists’ Take podcast. Thanks for your input.
I have looked for stuff? about “shoulding” for awhile. This is cliche but my mother in law lives to “should” people. For years there would be a friends/family group conversation and then she would ask a question about the subject of the conversation, then when someone would answer she would cut them off and start in with the “should”. Zero experience about the subject but she’s off to the races. Now I just leave the room. I don’t care if it’s the middle of Christmas dinner. Often when my wife would come back into our house from work or shopping or whatever the first thing she would say would be, “who left this here?” or “why isn’t this where it’s supposed to be?” All of her family, when it’s goodbye time, don’t say goodbye, they tell people how they should travel or how to behave while they’re away or what they “shouldn’t” forget. For years I didn’t understand any of it. The concept of Rule Breakdown is new. Very helpful. Thank you
A porn addicted man if cries for a woman and play it Romeo and Juliet, can love a woman? My ex fiancé was watching every two- three hours and i left him. I found him at bathroom to watch a group sex and i kicked him from his house that day, when i went to stay. I checked his mobile and i find out howoften he was watching. I was afraid that he is going to do with a friend what he was watching, and he is more sick and he is a singer that he will do everything... He was smoking hasis too in the bathroom. I can' t understand if those two can go together, crazy love and cries and porn addiction....He tried to kill him self when i left him. From the beginning was saying that if he will lose me, he will die. He was taking secretly cocaine and smoked hasis. Still now that came for a date , after six months was saying i love you, you are a part of mine....But ...Gave a like to an escort that was out and have her at Facebook...When i made an (episode) for her in the past, bec. She called him , and he said what she want now ? At the moment i didn't now her job. But i was Angry , and then posted at her after his deadline to me to get back. He said she was a friend, well we are not five years old. I told him, were you to bed with me and still give like at her? You didn't have a good time? He said i give likes and doesn't mean something, i do it to many, but, no ....After two days i told him that i don' t want even for sex once a year, and cried again. The thought that i will not see his like bec he blocked me. After 16 he called me and said : Will you destroy my life? I wanted to hear you.e He wanted to have sex all the time and i think he was a sex addicted too. He didn't want to go the therapist, so i left him.😢
Good man thank you totally true coz I'm ill on meds and thing people around me do it's in my heart I'm ill on meds don't woch with me 7 years of it nasty
Why are you snooping on his phone? That's a betrayal. In good relationships, you don't betray the other person by breaking agreements or by invading their privacy. If someone betrays you, they're not someone you want to be with. If you don't want someone to be defensive, you mind your own business - even if it leaves you vulnerable.
People behave in ways that make us need to check their phone, we’re going to check their phone. I never checked my exes phone because it never left his pocket. He accidentally messaged me instead of her one day, gave himself away, when I checked the temporary files on our computer I found six years worth of serial cheating I couldn’t evidence before. Apparently I was crazy and paranoid for those 6 years leading up to finding out for sure. If you genuinely suspect something check their phone!
Trust your gut, not your imagination. I usually discourage responding to suspicion of sneakiness with sneakiness. If trust has diminished to such a degree you feel compelled to check the phone, doesn’t that in and of itself indicate a problem, in general?
My wife had an affair with a coworker 15 years ago and it still hurts every day. Never had anyone to talk to so everything has been internalized. I know it’s not healthy. We are still married but a part of me is so angry. I’ve been a good husband and father and never deserved this. It’s changed my life and it’s made me bitter. I wish I could flush those feelings and be truly happy again.
Betrayal trauma is real trauma. Without proper care, the wound potentially will fester instead of heal. Time is not the key to healing when it comes to betrayal. I’m sorry it’s so hard. See the description of the video for resources if you think they could help.
Let her go. You don’t deserve to be miserable and angry. You’ll be a better man and father without having to fake your way through each day. You’ll find a new love you can enjoy waking up with every morning. She help you smile again and restore joy. Go.
there’s people dying of cancer, kids born with defects and you’re saying forgiveness is the most complicated human phenomenon that’s existed. gtfo, you must have a very nice life
I do have a nice life, probably better than I deserve. If I could revise my statement, I’d add “human relational phenomenon” because that is what I meant. Didn’t intend to downplay the complexities of any kind of serious ailment. And this is just an opinion, nothing more.
@@RecoveryTV4u understandable, sorry to be rude, i gotta admit i was. but for a lack of a better word, it’s just so much more things that’s complex and struggles that people go through than forgiveness
