**Trigger Warning** Depression. General & Social Anxiety. Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) Self Harmer. Self Hater. These are my own feelings and thoughts in the playlists. - You can talk to me by email : alonenlost1617@gmail.com
Some times I wounder if I would be better off dead but I don't know if I can trust people anymore or if I can putt all my trust in a person when they never put trust in me
I love her but she's in love with someone else. The person who she's in love with has made her sad. Last night she told me she wants to suicide. I don't know what to do. I just want to see her happy. I want her to stay alive.
I love her but she's in love with someone else. The person who she's in love with has made her sad. Last night she told me she wants to suicide. I don't know what to do. I just want to see her happy. I want her to stay alive.
Hey Tigre, its been a long time since the last time we spoke friendly one to another. I miss you, thats not something new. You were my best friend, the best one ive ever had. Thank you for being my friend in the pandemic, it would have been lonely if you hadnt seen with me Lupin or showed me Evangelion and that. I will always remeber you with love even thought we ended kinda bad. U will always be my best friend. Happy birthday :)
I think I'll be breaking up with my boyfriend of 5 years tomorrow. I'm scared, uncertain, disappointed, hurt. We've gone this long and he continues to not be willing to fix any bad habits. He complains about where he's at in life and yet won't do anything about it. I've tried so hard to help only to be met with frustration and dismissal on his end. I love him but I can only be so patient, so forgiving, so willing to put the effort in. I don't know where to go from here. I don't know how to move on. We met in high school; he's all I've known for so long. He wanted me to accept the idea that we won't work out. Well I have now. And it hurts to see him so hesitant to make changes for me, to match my devotion, to find it in himself to be better. I guess that just means I need to look for my happiness elsewhere.
Okay… that’s not cool man. I’m in the middle of losing that obsessive spark for my comfort/crush character and it really hurts cuz I was literally obsessed over them, they weren’t real sure. But during their times of showing up always made me not wanting to “make myself disappear”. They’re the reason why I’m still here and hate myself less than I did before. And yet they don’t fucking exist. That’s what really hurts. No one will love me the way I want to be loved, and it scares me to accept that reality. Boo corny, I know 💀
It’s not corny. I hope your alright man, things like those fucking hurt I don’t really know that much about things like that but yeah….I say I’m depressed sometimes but my friend is always like “how?” I usually don’t wanna tell him because he’s a fake ass friend but yeah I guess I’ll say it. When I was younger I was always avoided by people in school, they saw me as nothing than just an atom or so, when we would do partner stuff nobody would come up to me and it made me very sad. Just like the time I cried in class because my kindergarten teacher got mad at me for nothing. This kinda stuff went on for all of elementary school but anyways I’m just trying to push through things. So oh well but I want you to be happy in life, life is just a hard pill that we’ve gotta swallow and I haven’t swallowed that pill yet because I’m scared. I’ve just turned 13 and I’m quite scared for my future, but I hope you the best in life there are people who love you but you don’t know them. I don’t know much to say right now because I can’t think we’ll really do yeah I just hope you the best and we all love who you are, we are happy for you for being here. (Idk by what I mean “we” I’m just trying to be nice but that’s kinda just been going away from me I’ve become more rude and all instead of being nice)
I might have been mistaken rn, I thought someone was who existed was lost, I’m sorry I’m very sorry….I probably shouldn’t of said it what I said…..I’m sorry very very very sorry….
I can't believe how much I think I'm alone just to realize how much of people feel this way. Some days I just don't wanna talk at all. Sometimes it's hard to even pretend to smile and people call me mean for that. I try and stay to myself but Its called selfish.
I'm so tired. I'm tired of everything, of everyone. My friends don't seem to like me, my parents can't accept me. The only thing I'm clinging onto is my addiction and it just makes me feel numb. I'm killing myself slowly this way, and sometimes I wonder if I was meant to be this way, if my life was sculpted by some divine figure that hated me. Or if they messed up, made a mistake with what my life was supposed to be. Was I supposed to find love where I've only found heartbreak? Was I supposed to have a good family to support me or just my vape? Was I meant to live this long anyways?
I hope everyone reading this comment is doing well during these strange times. I wish you all the best, good luck and stay healthy! ps. I love that kind of sound. It's been helping me fall asleep for years and helps to relieve stress. Thank you very much!
Do you what the saddest part of life is haveing no one there for you in the deepest and darkness part of your life so if anybody is reading this and going to anything you have someone who cares and you don't have to go through it alone
0:55, haven't spoken a word with my partner after the argument we had in the morning. a lot to contemplate, for sure, but i wish i could sleep first. it's easy to get lost in work during the day and dissociate. what do i do at night?
*"..Listen. Listened closely with..your eyes closed. Hear the beat of your heart beating along with the cosmic sound that's seeping into every crevice of the universe.* *Do you feel it? This is what exists inside every living thing in this world. We responded with our own heart beat and retention. It's our will to purposely make it into our own sound, to reply back to it. That we are alive. That we are not alone."*
0:00 when the party's over - Billie Eilish 4:02 all I want - Kodaline 8:37 apocalypse - cigarettes after sex 13:43 The night we met - Lord Huron 17:40 daylight - Taylor Swift 22:50 dancing with your ghost - Sasha Alex Sloan 27:39 Love in the dark - Adele 33:28 Trauma - NF 38:00 To build a home - The Cinematic Orchestra I absolutely adore your videos alone & lost, thank you soo much for posting your videos are everything to me, again thank you so much!🫶
I hate when my parents lie to me just bc they want me to be in my room crying even tho they don’t know that they want me to be in my room crying and I fuck hate my parents they make me feel like I’m a fuckin nobody or they fuck make me feel like I don’t exist I hate it when my parents try to make me be someone I’m not I’m not perfect and they want me to be even tho they know I can’t be perfect I just want to cry but at least my man loves me
I hate myself so bad I just want to disappear and be buried in the ground and die alone in my own place for eternity I don’t want anyone else in this life I want someone else in my heart I don’t know how I can be there and be with them and be there with me I just don’t have a life I just can’t do nothing about this life is Useless I just wanna go somewhere very dark and I can’t because I just wanna die. I just wanna die. I just wanna die. I just wanna die. I just wanna die die I’m useless. I don’t what to do 2:11 anymore. I hate myself.
Hey guys, I just read most of these comments if not all of them. I felt led by Jesus to respond to some, so I’m writing this now in hopes that He’ll use it for someone. I’m here because right now I feel some type of way myself. I want you all to know that I’ve been where most of you are, feeling lost, in pain, drowning, wanting love, wanting my life to be over. A part of me wants to go back there sometimes. I can’t do that, it’s because I have Jesus now, and having Him means you can’t fall so far anymore. I promise with everything in me, if you repent and believe the gospel you can have real peace, real love, and real joy in Jesus. The gospel is that Jesus, being God, came to earth from heaven as a man, lived a perfect life and died on the cross as a perfect sacrifice for you, so you could have salvation in Him. Three days later after giving His life for us, He rose from the dead so that we may also raise and have eternal life. I promise this is real, and I can’t promise much. Put aside any objection you might have, because I know some people will have one, and just look into it. Look up Mike Winger here on RU-vid and watch his video titled, “How to Get Saved.” If you hear anything today, hear this. Jesus said, “Come to Me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.” I pray this finds the right person, and that you will answer God’s call. 🩷 He loves you more than anyone else ever could and ever will.
my boyfriend is at a camp right now (for church) we’ve been dating for 6 months. He left today.. He hasn’t texted me back in 8 hours. He’s also blocked his girl bsf on snap (i’ve known her since we were kids). Ive texted him a few times today, no reply yet. it’s almost 10pm and i haven’t heard from him in 8 hours. Ive been scared about him cheating while he’s gone or doing something stupid. But i honestly just hope he’s having fun. i hope he’s making new friends and growing closer to god. Hes not the type to cheat. Atleast i hope. Every notification i get i hope its him texting me back. What if he did infact find a new girl? Its scary to think about. I hate being away from the people i love. I was hoping to get a text back writing this, but i guess im not that lucky.
If he working you don't have to worry I'm working at a church camp and more than half the time when I am doing just random tasks my girlfriend is the only thing on my mind but I'm to busy to text her back if she messages me and I work around 10 to 14 hours a day while camps running and then we get so dirty that we gotta take a shower and depending on if someone's in there we might just hop right in after we read the messages so we can think about what to say and then we respond right after cheating doesn't even swing by the street and I just wish I could be cuddling ny girlfriend and he probably wishes he could be cuddling you Lol I wrote around the same amount as you
It's 11.36 pm 24 minutes to midnight and I feel empty, alone and just have no hope with my future because I just can't seem to figure it out. All my life I've always thought I was destined for greatness but now in my early twenties I can't figure anything out, am running out of energy, am running out of motivation, I just don't know what to do. (My life is shit and the worst thing is that I just can't admit it)
