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As a straight women of 54 who never wanted marriage, co habitation or kids, absolutely no regrets. It was well worth being treated like a leper 😂. That so many young women are still centering men no makes no sense to me.
I always saw Steve as a parasitic leech. And I see romantic comedies glorifying losers like Steve, as if true love means giving a chance to the guy living in his mother's basement. I took a survey of my girlfriends, and most of the ones who are in relationships, living with someone or married, over 90% are with a Steve. Most of my educated girlfriends are now breadwinners married to guys who don't contribute in any way. I know of only one wife who is married to a real man. SITC came onto the scene in 1998 and twenty years later, every woman I know has an urchin like Steve in her house. I have been divorced for 14 years, and pretty much ever guy I dated has tried to move in with me. Having quit dating, I still have to scrape off the leeches, but at least now I'm not deluded enough to start relationships with them.
I hated him years ago when I first watched the series! I thought they were very unequal and she made so many sacrifices for him, like her having to move to a completely different area. By the way I know you said we are supposed to work 40 hours a week, but 32-35 can be considered full time in the UK and other parts of Europe and TBH I prefer that over 40!
It's the ridiculous inequity of partnerships for me!! They always seem to find guys FAR beneath them and somehow seeking their approval? Like what the actual f**k?
I had my fair share of Steves in life and I can say for sure, they are trouble. Good looking men, usually younger than me, but nor necessarily, with boyish charm but no money, or with very poorly paid jobs. They usually complain that they can't survive alone, they live at home after age of 35, 45, even 50, they need me, because "two paychecks are better than one" and they are calculating how with my salary "we can live quite comfortable". They plan "our" future, where somehow, most money is mine, and the apartment is mine, and they complain women don't like them because they can't give them anything in life. I totally can survive on my own, I don't need additional salary, I don't need man who I have to support and carry on my back. I really can't. I tried, it's awful! And if you do support them, one way or another, financially, or in life, they quickly lose interest in you and stop appreciating you, take you for granted. It's bad. And just to add, mind you, those are not men who had some big unfortune that made them have to start all over but they have ambition and will to make it again. Those are not men with ambitions or plans, not even as much as Steve had. Those are men who want to RELAY on me because they can't support themselves ever. They don't have education, because they were too busy with sex and drugs, and driking, they didn't have stable jobs, no ambitions, nothing! They want an easy way out. And I don't want to be that anymore.
I think it was a slap in the face to Miranda's character to have her go back after his infidelity. I can't even remember an episode where he made her feel special, but the one night she indicates that she's not feeling it, but was still willing he became an even bigger man child. I can't remember anything he's done that made a positive impact on Miranda's life. I couldn't do it.
thank you for this, i hated his ass the whole series. i think the bar for men on that show was so low that ppl were simply tricked into thinking steve was a good bf. like comparatively, yes he wasnt horrible like MANY of the other guys the girls dated, but he was an emotionally immature man child who was constantly trying to get miranda to change and be more laid back like him while not being willing to get on her level EVER. then when u meet steves mom and she looks suspiciously like miranda to the point where she wears the same color as miranda to their wedding????!!! and when miranda wanted one weekend away from the baby he couldnt do it after he moved himself into her apartment and begged her to have a baby like it was the most casual thing in the world the season before?????? bruh he pissed me off so much miranda deserved so much better
The man is the archetype of a nice guy who somehow managed to get an elite woman. Instead of emulating her, get his skills and money up. He was resentful the whole time. Even Charlote was like "Gurl, be fr!" Team Samantha.
This is very true, most cases I have seen of women I know the men getting involved in their business drains them of their money, heck they even downright rob the women of their money whether it's their son, brother, uncle, romantic partner etc.. I know of women who have lost hundreds of thousands or millions because they had men handling their business affairs willy nilly especially with no contracts. The men feel no remorse for taking the money and resources away from the women and will abuse it even if they were already benefitting. And this is with everyday women so just imagine women who are quite wealthy.
“When the woman is the breadwinner we expect the man to do the emotional labour and do domestic work” 👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏👏 he was just being a free rider in many aspects of life
Steve sucked big time! People are fooled by him because he is quiet and soft spoken. He did not in anyway make Miranda's life easier or made it better. Miranda was doing everything herself and being progressive, Steve lacked ambition not even when their child came into the picture did he use it to inspire himself to improve and stand on business for the family. I often thought it wouldn't make a difference if Miranda was single or dated a woman.
Hate him! So glad you made a video about it. My parents reversed traditional roles & my father was the house spouse and cooked and cleaned etc. Steve is a project no woman wants to touch
I honestly don’t understand why people like Steve. He is an insecure, immature loser and he does not treat Miranda well at all. And he isn’t even attractive. Miranda only got with him due to her own insecurity about ending up alone, and I never understood why she stayed with him.
@@the_agate_gate3782 For most people when someone isn't overtly abusive, loud and very obvious with it they wont pick up on it. That's why they like Steve he isnt super in your face with his rubbish if he was directly vocal and more up front with his uselessness and how he doesnt help her they wouldn't like him.
Steve was one of the only realistic story lines. 75 men obtain BA or above for every100 women. That massive gender attainment imbalance means 35+ women are unlikely to get a rare highly desirable well educated financially successful man who prefer younger more fertile women. 75 men/100 women
I haven't even watched yet but Steve was a covert narcissist and I hated that Miranda made up with him on that damn bridge. Tried to derail her ambition with a baby
Yup, the poisonous "nice guy". The idea that a woman like Miranda would have to slum with a Steve in NYC stretches reality. Albany? Columbus? Sure, she could potentially be trapped by his type, but this story was a tough sell in NYC with a law degree from Harvard. Harvard has a huge presence in NYC where she could attend exclusive events with other ivy league law types. Steve was put in the show to humble her. I hate the misogyny of SATC.
AGREE! That alumni association stays connected. There’s just no way, but also they made her into the “ugly” one in the group. So, she was expected to take what was given in the eyes of the writers. Once again misogyny in the writers room.
I agree! Ladies need to view men as men view themselves. Most men see themselves as materialistic. That's their language - return on investment. That's why many of them are angry at women for the whole 6 feet, 6 inches, 6 figures crap (that they invented!). Since many men are materialistic, they think women feel the same way. For those looking to date men, give them the same energy. There are only the rare men who have done the emotional and spiritual work who will be great partners. Those are the ones who will be unwavering and truly understand what partnership is about. They will automatically pick up on what is needed for balance and harmony in a relationship. For those men, we can be free to return the same loving, supportive energy because they will naturally bring that out in us. But the vast majority of men think in terms of transactions, exchange, usefulness and selfishness.
Sooooooo true about the cool girl getting played the most. We should not aim to be the "cool" girl, we need to set standards and stick to them. That will weed off the bad ones.
“Newly” married (about 2 yrs) and I almost immediately regretted combining our bank accounts. Im a saver, he’s a spender. Lately, there has been a verbal tug of war over what to call MY savings account. He came in bold with “our savings” but after being reminded that he did not contribute to it, it’s been resting a “The” savings account. I moved banks because of the high yield savings, but now that I’m getting a raise, I don’t even want to tell him. Just move my direct deposit to a new checking account, and only keep my 50% of the bills in the joint account. It’s wild, fighting so hard to not be labeled gold digger, only to have a man feel entitled to your money. Especially when my work day also includes extra chores and my 50% also covers the decor that turns this box in a home.
Wendy Willams, Kelly out of Destiny’s Child, Fantasia, I believe Candy , Monique and i know I’m missing more all made their husbands their manager. I believe to make their husbands look like they had a career, so it won’t look like they are living off of them .
Excellent teaching. Thank God He instilled a lot of confidence in me. I do have to watch that I don't get beat-down, worn-down by constant put-downs, and then my confidence weakens. Keep looking up.
@@charliestoolbox I'm saying even if we start with confidence, it can be worn down, and we have to be on guard for that. If you don't have confidence to begin with, that's a whole other problem....as you said in the video.
I’ve been decentering men for about 2 - 3 years - I can’t recall when I started. I was doing so well until I accidentally fell in love. The indoctrination is SO STRONG - I’ve had to reset and refresh my entire decentering journey! This was a beautiful listen - thank you for these great reminders! I’m listening again! ❤
I totally agree & I will be doing this from now on. I’m deciding to have a better life. I’m deciding what to react to. I never use to think or believe I had a choice in life. things always happened to me but I now understand I can’t control people, or life because life be lifing but I can control how I react to these things & how I show up for myself. I just wanted to say wow you’re breathe taking. your eyebrows are amazingly pretty. you’re gorgeous god bless your mothers womb. amen lol
The truth is a lot of the time we seek happiness, fulfillment, and adoration in relationships and get hurt, depressed, lower self worth. They never meet expectations. Most of the time you are just settling anyway. I will just speak for myself. I am really interested in decentering men. I have been in a lot of environments where relationships and men are very censored and you can feel very bad if your experience isn't good.
Thank you for creating these incredible videos! You never know who they might inspire, encouraging someone to be strong for themselves or to support others.
