I’m Hélène Stelian, a clinician-in-training and graduate student in counseling at the Family Institute at Northwestern University, a mental health advocate, and a certified life coach. As a coach, I helped women in midlife create their next chapter with courage and intention, informed by my own struggles to rediscover myself at 50 and design a life I love. My RU-vid channel is all about empowering women by providing you with critical free resources for education and personal growth. That’s why I’m offering a collection of self-paced courses-about purpose, happiness, goal setting, and more-absolutely FREE on this RU-vid channel. I also have a great library of expert interviews at your disposal. My belief is that, in midlife and beyond, it’s time to prioritize your needs and your dreams-because it’s never too late to create your best life yet. And I want to help you do just that. Be sure to subscribe to my channel, then click the bell to be notified when there's new content.
I have been watching your organization on photo's. My story starts with my Mom taking duplicate photos. After moving the photo's my Mom ended up in the nursing home. She can't see. I was asked to picked up her photo's again from the house she was living at. We had to have a truck and trailer to get them. I fell off the truck and broke my wrist. I did get them to our house and it filled half my art room. My mom saved every photo, card, and snippets from newspapers. Some I have no clue who they are or it was my Dad's grade card. I'm retired and my kids don't want another thing even photo's. So I'm at a loss in some way or another on what to do. I hate to throw them away but I am going to have to say good bye to them. I am overwhelmed when I look at all the boxes and albums, plus I have my own. If you could share some inspiring words of wisdom, I would appreciate any and all help. Thank you.
I suggest you focus on quality over quantity and it isn't all or none. Select some meaningful pieces of the collection to keep and treasure. In general children don't want the "mess" (boxes and boxes of photos/memorabilia that are disorganized and they don't know the people in the photos), but they do want their story, especially years down the road when their parents are gone. Think of me cheering you on as you review what you have and select items to keep.
Update: TMS didn’t work for me but I hope it works for others who find this video. Plan B: Esketamine Plan C: Anti-depressant (#5) My issues are related to grief and loss of my family & a pet. You cannot do anything with grief. Losing someone you love is the hardest thing. 💔🙏
My condolences. Thanks for sharing your experience. Different things work for each of us and I'm glad to see you're not giving up. Sending you healing hugs.
“Cancer of the soul” is so accurate. It isn’t describable. It is beyond miserable. I’m a 62 year old recently retired previously high functioning. I’ve slipped into a very dark place. I’ve tried everything - therapy, ketamine, medications, EMDR, hypnotherapy, etc… I too gained a ton of weight (went from 110 to 150.) I desperately want to get TMS and will need to do the accelerated protocol. There is no way I could consistently get to an appointment every day. I am too ill. There is a new protocol called SAINT that is supposed to be the best available, but it is only available in California. I’m on the East Coast. One of the benefits of SAINT is personalized imaging which has been shown to greatly improve results. I’ve got a consult next week. I’ll take whatever is available locally. Desperate. I don’t even know myself anymore.
I'm concerned TMS won't work for me for similar reasons. I'll give it a go, but like you I may have to fall back on Plan B C D etc. I don't have much fight left now so I can't see myself making it. I hope you find your way out of the darkness though.
3/25/2023 I enjoyed your presentation. I have collected 41,000 images and 23,000 x 4 hard copies from as far back as five generations. I have went on vacation where I scanned my cousin’s pictures. I am also a family historian for the last 47 years and I took pictures of pictures with a 35mm camera before computers and scanners. I would say I probably have more than 50% of our families’ original pictures. I have always enjoyed these hobbies. I know folks that get overwhelmed at two hundred pictures. Shear with your cousins and family it takes a 5TB hard drive for the pictures I have, I have six or more across the US. And a bunch of flash drives. done it all with a flatbed scanner. If you do this yourself or for other family members, ask! To put the image number on the back of the picture and your initials on the bottom Left and right corner so if you come back 10 years later you won’t be scanning the same picture twice. And be sure they have the names on the back, and scan even number image Numbers is the picture and odd number scanning the back of the picture and do this with your own pictures If you decide to scan them yourself.
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So true!! After my son moved out, I have noticed that I really choose my words and don't say *nearly* everything I want to say. :) Thanks for the review, Helene! I'm gonna have to grab a copy.
I have had “organise photos” on my to do list for YEARS! i have thousands of albums, piles printed, hand me downs, special events/professional ones, those not yet printed! Argh! I like to have the actual Photo rather than digital so once all printed I am going to take a week off work and see if I can get them all down to a manageable amount!!! Wish me luck 🥴😝🫤
@@shaybonnie I’ll check the forecast and book a really miserable week off then I don’t feel like I’m missing out 😂 I am quite excited for it. I have 1000s of digital and 40 albums full! Boxes too??! And my mum has mentioned giving me all my childhood ones! Argh!
As someone who is nearing retirement and doing a lot of research on the topic - I love this perspective from the women angle. All the videos I have Been watching are mostly men but speak to most. Hearing from just women is great. I got the idea to search for women in retirement and that’s how I found you on RU-vid. I will definitely look up the other sources you mentioned. Very excited to hear more and participate. I like that you said there’s freedom and what satisfies one retiring maybe different than somebody else. No one size fits all and it can change you’re not locked in. That actually makes it easier to make decisions. Thanks for the insights and keep it up. We women nearing retirement are out here and want to hear more❤️❤️🤗🤗
I'm right at 10 mins into this video and am liking the ideas this far but you just talked about duplicates and I think we all need to think hard and realistically about those. The only reason I have been mired up in photos for weeks is that I want my daughter's dad to have a copy of ALL her photos from birth until smart phones (with cameras and cloud storage) became available. We have been apart....her dad and me....for 14 years. No chance of co-housing again. We live in hurricane country. He has a large built to code house that can withstand big winds and rain and I have the exact opposite tho only 8 minutes from him but only a mile or so from the Gulf. IF all my photos were wiped out she'd have virtually no record of her childhood except for a few random photos he has. Think HARD on pitching all duplicates....like would a sibling if you're not cloud storage savvy... be happy enough to take on your family history and perhaps you could do the same for him/her or them? My child is off at grad school and not really set up for taking on the responsibility or care for things she doesn't really have space for right now. Maybe you have a similar issue. Cutting the video back on now to learn more of your tips and wishing I had found this info on you tube a good month ago but better late than never! Thx for making the info available and this is just my worry wort mom's 2 cents worth. 😊
I think in your case (and others in similar situations) that it’s a very valid reason for keeping duplicates. I was just at the same point in the video as well and finding this very helpful so far.
It was an honor to be invited to speak and share insights with Hélène Tragos Stelian on how our early childhood experiences shape our adult relationships. One practice we can take on today is to begin noticing what triggers us when speaking to our partners. Then, stepping away to reground ourselves while committing to coming back when we feel ready to engage from our adult selves.
I love listening to you speak about your passion. Your enthusiasm is infectious. I appreciate hearing your honest description of the power of a women’s circle. Amazing energy!
I totally agree. I feel like society makes woman compete on so many levels (encouraging compare and despair) rather than cheering each other on and empowering each other and feeling empowered!
Lyne, your positive energy is a driving force, also your transparency and honesty about your women’s circles bring a genuine authenticity to your words. I’m certainly considering joining.
I fully agree with numbers 3 (workplace friends), 4 (invisible and irrelevant), and 5 (it's a process not an event). And that's from my perspective of being retired for 35 whole days! Haven't experienced number 1 yet (keep hearing how I will be soooo busy...) and I think the Covid restrictions make for a very challenging entry into retirement. Also agree we shouldn't rebrand retirement as something else as the effort to make the new brand stick will outweigh the value - speaking as a 35 year marketer! It's a very interesting and underserved population us baby boomer retired women! Keep up the good work Retirement Voices.
