Pact is a different kind of adoption organization- honest, child-centered, and anti-racist. Since 1991, Pact’s mission has always been to serve adopted children of color. In every case, the child is always our primary client. In order to best serve children’s needs, we provide not only adoptive placement but lifelong education, support, and community. Our goal is for every child to feel wanted, honored and loved, a cherished member of their communities with proud connections to their cultural heritage.
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My wife and I are in the process of adopting 2 incredible girls. One is 8 years old and the other is 13years old. There story is horrible with so much abuse. There smiles now make me so happy. They celebrated their first birthday, thanksgiving Christmas with us. I just want to spoil them. I tell them not to tell any of there school peers they are foster children. I don’t want anyone bullying them. Kids can be cruel. It’s there choice, but they’ve been through so much. There bio parents don’t deserve to be parents. I’m so glad I found them. There’s nothing I won’t do for my girls.
I know this is not everyone but my grandad was adopted and had a great life, this is why i will always be anti abortion as if that happened none of my family would exist
Im 54 now, adopted at 5 weeks old. I remember that feeling of no baby baby pics, a strange birth certificate. It freaked my mom out more than me. But i dis have issues from adoption. Its a thing! More needs to be done to not put kids into these awkward positions. That baby thing and family history thing.....so much
As someone who was adopted, now 35yrs old, lost both adopted parents due to cancer, it’s has been a challenge. Yes I know my biological parents, however, my bio mom & I do not get along at all but I’m close to my bio dad. When it comes to building friendships/relationship, it is difficult because it can be scary trying to trust people when knowing the things you dealt with when being adopted. As a grown man, I still struggle with building healthy relationships with people. And it’s very sad when knowing the type of man I am. I’ve gone through therapy several times, yes I have a better understanding of myself, however, when it comes to building relationships with people, I find it challenging for me.
My adopted parents were abusive alcoholics. Just shitty parenting. And now they are old and decrepit & my alcoholic dad is stuck in the hospital because he cannot walk & my mom got a colonoscopy because she is STILL an alcoholic. She has a stoma. A bag attached to her stomach that catches her poop. Both my parents were really mean to me & it made me feel unloved & hated and it got worse as they aged. Just cruel behavior. My dad let me know how much he hated me in his later years. I always knew he was a mean person but i later realized he was a full on narcissist. Like if he got mental help they would diagnose him with npd. But he never got diagnosed. I think the doctors realize he’s a narcissist. Theres no hiding it. He’d have to be the sweetest person in order to hide his narcissism but he cannot do that. He’s always mean. Just grumpy & angry all the time. I hate him. He’s the meanest adopted father i’ll ever know & I won’t cry when he dies.
I found out that my birth parents gave me up for adoption and wanted nothing to do with me and the parents that raised me abused me mentally and physically
I found out that I was adopted my mother told me that my dad I've known isn't my natural dad but did adopted me at age three I was told that by her in 2020 I was completely shocked 😳 because I was told at 29 years ago an it can be hard at times still I go through emotions at times and also i did had questions and asked if i was an knew something was off and i have ask if i was adopted more then once
Fake fake fake I’m adopted at 6 so sorry you don’t know what’s it’s feels to be abandoned I am still waiting to my mother to come back Think about that
These kind of questions, are very damaging for the kids. And it only strains relationship between parents and child. Why would a child be made to feel grateful for being adopted?? Its not gratefulness but love that matters, which has to be mutusl in any child parent relationship. Every parent who adopts a child does it with best intent and out of love and joy of raising a child. Interviewer should be more sensitive and not put words into the kids mouth. Very bad interviewing
I was adopted at birth as well as grew up an only child. Right now I am 18 struggling to adjust to adulthood. Both of my parents sheltered me as a kid and didn’t tell me much about my birth family. Sometimes to me this all feels like DLC i have yet to unlock about my life.
i was super young when i realized i was adopted i cried in silence, (meaning i would cry when no one was around) it also made me feel unwanted, i was a depressed, sad lil boy
I have two adopted daughters from birth. I have been completely open with them about their unique and special story. They don’t think anything of it. Now that they’re 15, I think they’re slightly aware that they stand out because they are adopted. I just recently explained to them and the kids that are not adopted can’t comprehend what that would be like. It can be an unconscious threat to their stability to imagine it. They can’t imagine being without their parents. They don’t understand that to my girls, my husband and I are the only parents they know and love. They feel very stable. Adults usually respond, how wonderful ,when I say they are adopted. Infertility is much more common and much more talked about these days. I think it’s different when a child is a foster care. I know who their biological family is and the trauma that caused them to be taken away and put into foster care
It’s great to see that people are recognizing that adoptee experiences can vary. I was abandoned at one month, in foster care until I was 3.5. I was adopted by some horrible people and at 60 am still getting treatment for depression and anxiety. I am not a person of color but looked extremely different from my adoptive family. I’ve had a pretty good life but it’s marked with depression, anxiety, cptsd and ocd. Fortunately I’m a resilient person so I’ve generally done well.
I am not adopted, nor I know any adopted person. But all these boys and girls, seem to me the most balanced and awaken group of people. It looks like most of the confussion and negativity in one's own childhood, actually comes from the parents poor performance and the perpetuation of imaginary enemies and prejudices. Lack of real love. I feel very much identified with their way of thinking
I'm 70 and being adopted really sucks, broken marriages addiction alcoholism etc but if I had the knowledge that I've learned through the internet at a younger age e.g. my preteens life would have been much easier.
Who the hell are these comments from ?? " As an adopted child" Ima Shaw ???? Highly likely an imposter employed by the agency. Adoption is first and foremost about pain, anxiety and shame - for all of the triad involved - by all means love and nurture these children - they will do amazing things, but DO NOT portray it as some sort of fairy tale
It’s really hurting me so much after knowing that i am adopted but I am not sharing my emotions with anyone I am killing myself from inside bcz I am hiding everything I love me family so much but sometimes they hurt me So much it’s hard to explain I need my fathers love the most but he is always busy in his doings 😭
Hi d daniya Mir, if you're looking to talk with other adoptees, Pact offers an adoptee support group for BIPOC adoptees. You can email us here: adoptees@pactadopt.org. If you are a white adoptee, you can check out adopteesconnect.com/ Be gentle with yourself. Adoption is a complicated, life long journey and there are many of us out here connecting through support groups.
I'm 70 and an adoptee and feel really sad for these kids because I know that things could get rough for them as they get older. I've had problems with addictions starting from booze at 14 then hard drugs until now. Two marriages that ended in disaster.and I'm committed to staying single for the remainder of my life, I couldn't put a woman through it.but you never know. I have three daughters and a son deceased at age 33. Seven grandchildren and one great granddaughter.
I can’t have kids of my own and i wanted to adopt but my husband says adopted kids are ungrateful and dramatic and unhappy so after seeing this i actually agree with him now 😢😮
lol that kid is fully Black. he might have a dab of european ancestry from slavery as always of us do. Are his white parents confusing him? I'm light with very fine hair ad my parents always told me, nope your Black, when my teachers and classmates would ask if i was mixed race.
I always struggled with my identity. I developed drug problems, which I used as a coping tool. I spent a lot of my energy on Genetic DNA testing, and before that, I paid several big-name investigators. I met my birth mother, but the information I had about my biological father was not true. I found my father's family and genealogy through DNA testing with AncestryDNA. Now I am trying to digest the information and it is brining me peace.
I am an adoptee / Was adopted at 3 days old here I am 41 now. Has been one hell of a ride! Idk where to start but I want to get my story out for sure! Any ideas? Thank you for sharing this amazing video! Thank you for doing this type of work! So glad they are places like this!
Yes I get you. I was adopted at 2 months and I’ve gone to counseling and it helps but then all the abandonment issues come back and I’m looking for a support group now in the Los Angeles area because I know that it’s good to get those feelings out
I was adopted at 3 days, had great upbringing and I appreciate everything my parents did for me. Sadly they both passed away. The irritating part is when people keep on reminding you that you're adopted, you're not family😢😢 but God is good all the time
My best friend growing up was adopted, and we are both biracial. At the time, I didn't realize how she was struggling with identity and the difficulty she encountered with fitting in. She had no access to black people, and was adopted by a white family who loved her fiercely, but didn't really understand the need she had to connect with others who looked like her, or even the importance for her of knowing where she came from.
Can someone please help me or email I was adopted illegally and my life was messed up I went homeless right after I discovered I was adopted. I'm an adult but I have never met my biological father and my mother chose a street life. Both of my parents come from third world countries
My life is being with worst by it, not because of my parents they love me a lot, but society understands me very down and sometimes I felt bad destiny in it ! I am depressed having suicidal tendencies plz help me out I need love my frnds cheated me a lot
I would love to include Mira’s quote and photo in a booklet for adopting parents. I would credit Pactadopt. Let me know if this causes any concerns. Many thanks.
Hey Clare, if you could reach out to our director, Beth Hall she can go into this request in further detail with you. Her email is beth@pactadopt.org. Thanks for reaching out!
