I'm Dr. Nicole Didyk, a medical doctor with board certification in Internal Medicine and Geriatric Medicine. As a doctor with over 20 years of experience caring for those over age 60, I make educational videos for older adults and those who care for them so that they can navigate the changes of aging with vitality and determination.
***DISCLAIMER***: Videos are not medical advice, and are for education purposes only. Dr. Didyk's answers to comments do not imply a therapeutic relationship. If you require urgent medical attention, call 911. For medical advice, see your own healthcare provider.
I’ve been a nurse and can tell you that the vast majority of elderly people I cared for had no support from their children. Those people weren’t all narcissists. There are a lot of people who lack the empathy to understand how vulnerable their parents become as they grow older. This lack of empathy, from what I have seen, is a big part of why children don’t get involved in helping their elderly parents. We should judge that.
Elderly I strongly encourage you to maintain your Independence and exclude any toxic control freak or relative who would just love your estate even if it means putting you in a nursing home to get it sooner. Legally exclude them and depending on how toxic they are do not put them on your will. Make yourself a small Target. Do not have toxic helpers around you either. Kids do not have a responsibility if you make legal documents to completely exclude them and get an alternative that actually cares about you and is genuine.
As people age, they don't absorb as much potassium, magnesium. This is often due to poor absorption in the gut due to aging and medications. Also get your Vitamin D levels checked. This was my reason. I drove myself crazy trying all these different routines and foods and it was nutrient deficiencies.
Just diagnosed with adrenal insufficiency. With all the symtomes as well. So many. Blood pressure drops frequywntly and in hospital fir iv drips and niw a diagnoses after four hospital stays. Now the long course of finding treatments.
I’ve wrecked my back trying to lift my Mum off a commode. I am exhausted and depressed by the relentless demands made of me. As an only child with no kids of my own, I ask myself who is going to take care of me. I am already 70 plus and it all seems so pointless and scary.
There are places you can move where you can maintain your independence but receive help if need be. Also if you need help making a plan, perhaps you can work with a counselor, stating at the beginning or first session that it is your intention to come up with a plan for when you can no longer care for yourself. Another avenue might be writing down all the steps you need to take to get your life in a position where you are not worried about your future. I wish you the best of luck.
Kids just dont care not more both my parents struggled to be there for us kids they both just wasn't good parents but when they got older I was there for them and these kids are just self absorbed and don't care
I could be totally wrong here, but i think those with severe edema can't bridge. My limited obsevation on myself and others shows some correlation. I would really like those who suffer with edema to try the following and leave a comment. please state what level your edema is at and your bridge level. Thanks www.google.com/search?sca_esv=1901f77a1e540082&sxsrf=ADLYWIJqEtumGXNRkVpz_OhFpmILqYVUoA:1715865029441&q=bridge+exercise&uds=ADvngMhDNpEni0P7O0qvPcH0EAwuZNmqelRrYIj_R8EfOKC_OhnQSe5aKmka3xJKadTYnlTRazll74KAhepupTiOb3rc-zAofU23ZNRFygcHXqbM8hcKrSxuHLYRR6T7eJugcfZL4dOiEBSdSw3CBiq6LtFqzS4yLq2TiShyazKIZqL0erYAq7lEZvkSBFu2wuBholxJzVxoMbeIAUqIOmd7gNHl86q6g14iRZrbJXWNhnHvsPpUiBb2TdeqBtZadfzMGqVVfg1JfGGWR-RdNK0Z3WZsvzkl_o4KdOQmhu07likITk7K7Jw&udm=2&prmd=ivnmbtz&sa=X&ved=2ahUKEwjivb-sn5KGAxWyU0EAHSqnCL0QtKgLegQIFxAB&biw=1700&bih=758&dpr=0.8#vhid=EKXrbeT1_M3i8M&vssid=mosaic
I am taking care of my mum with Alzheimers for 4.5 years now. My choice. But then again I am not English or American and in our culture we honor our parents. I stopped work to do this and i do not see it as a burden.
Ten years for me taking care of parent. They never planned. Just expected that I would do it. I lost my freedom, income, and social life. Emotional roller coaster!
Unfortunately I can relate to you with this situation. It has been 8-9 years for me and I lost so many friends I forgot what having a social life is even like.
It's hard but I can't imagine letting a stranger do this for me even though I complain a lot. I know it's not forever. I just wished I had planned out more vacations before they became too needy.
Right there with ya. I'm going into year #4 looking after my dad. I spent my childhood trying to be as good as twin brother. All I ever did was want to be special in my dad's eyes along with him. Now that my dad needs help my brother informed it was my JOB to do so. My brother refuses to spend anytime here so I can take a vacation with my husband. It's so hard to not be bitter.
Sorry to hear. I would never speak to my brother if I had one if he did that. Friends of our family volunteered to come for a week this year so I can take a vacation. Hope someone else in your life would do the same for you!
As long as the adult children are glad that they have no inheritance left because the parents have spent it all on home care or care in a long term care facility. Oh and maybe there won’t be enough left to cover the funeral and burial or cremation costs depending on the income of the parents. What have we done as parents that our children feel no concern for how we spend our last decade? So sad that we gave up vacations and remortgaged our homes to pay for their university educations and now are being told not to expect any help from our now educated with good jobs adult children! Seriously????
This is a very good video. My father was a victim of abuse and, living at a distance, I was unable to see it for myself before it escalated too far. Sharing the signs of abuse is now going to be a passion of mine.
I've been having pressures on my my temples for 3 years now. And I've had incidents that I thought were panic attacks. The "panic attacks" weren't triggered by any stressful events, and they usually happen when im by myself. I've noticed that I've been misspelling words lately, and a lot of the time when I do spell words correctly, they feel off. Also I've noticed that i can't do 2 by 2 multiplication calculations in my head anymore. These problems have been weighing heavily on my mind, but I currently don't have health insurance, so I can't get it checked out.
Thank you for your information, my wife seems to suffer from mci , main problem is loosing balance and fall, she had hearing problem and cochlear implant done recently, hearing improved, but slight dementia type effect is there now how to improve balance?
I am so grateful for my mother who rarely asks for anything. My father died 13 years ago, and she’s cared for herself, and her home ever since. She is about a year older than my mother in law who is a nightmare! She sends all her money to scammers, and is so vial, and nasty that not even nursing homes want her. She could afford a small place, with a live in caregiver if she’d stop sending $$ to scammers. Of course most people wouldn’t want to take care of her because she’s such a horrible person.
I 100% disagree with your title in my husband’s situation. His mother is a narcissist, and very passive aggressive. She tries to make her sons her husband, and insists on 100% of his attention. She will even fake a fall , of be incontinent of stool all over the floor so they will have to be helped, or cleaned up after. Then she tells everyone what a good son she has for cleaning up after her. For the past at least five years she’s been sending all of her money to scammers, and has been repeatedly shown they aren’t who they say they are. She has a pretty good retirement income, but instead of taking care of herself she sends it to Nigerian men she’s never met!
Thankyou well done presentation tempted to try ketone supplement have had MCI had several little,strokes,over the years,nearly 74 noticing some, changes,will talk to my gp about Jane
I am 78 years old and one of my family members has been coming into my unit stealing from me daily. Yes, she is my niece and she laughs when I confront her. And unfortunate thing is no one in my family members inckuding her parents believe me. She tells everyone I have memory issues. As you can see, my brain is still functioning properly. Very devastating no one takes me seriously.
Be careful of these medications 1000% because the main reason why your parents behave the way they do could be from opiates after surgery.. heart issue and they continue to prescribe morphine and completely lie and say its good for the heart and they become monsters or verbally or psychologically or physically abusive due to the medications especially if its more than one.. Polypharmacy/Prescription cascading...pay attention to the medication and its adverse side effects.. psychological side effects and what it does to their behavior and impulsive spending etc.. so if you don't want to go through hell or losing all your savings... do your research and never ever trust these Doctors unless they are holistic and they care and want to help your grand parents or parents.. but their behavior is mostly due to medications.. especially if their on a psychiatric pill smdh.. before you give up on them just make sure you do all of these things and make sure their new conditions aren't created from other meds these doctors easily give or diagnose because they are arrogant..ignorant and lazy.. and pen tiggered to get an incentive vs actually caring about their patients
77 yrs., T2D, very active physical labor in day. INo meds. Last coffee at 1 PM. I believe it is the drunk monkey in my brain that keeps pumping disjointed thoughts through my mind. Typically go to bed exhausted but never get to sleep.
I take care of a bedridden husband for the last 5 years.he had 2 surgery s.he is starting to walk again.lots of hard work and exercises.i have a broken back in 2 places. A female problem.need eye surgery.and im lame in my right foot.i run a ranch with livestock.im seeing a dr. For myself next month.to fix a few things.we have a daughter who lives a hour away.no help from her att all. I will tell her whats going on with her dad.when i get real sick.im not telling her anything.i will try to take care of myself till the end.she comes up for the holidays and expects me to cook for all of us.which i do.❤
I am Disgusted to learn that 30 states have Laws (on the books) which require people to take care of their elderly parents!! Thank God the state in which I live in (Illinois) is Not one of those states!!! >-(
