A summary: In the words of Rabbi Manis Friedman, too many relationships and marriages are solely based on love. Truth is, love can sweeten a relationship. But love is not enough. Love is not strong enough to carry a relationship. We worship love. We depend on love. We kill for love. We die for love. It’s outta control. But it’s not meant to be. Anytime there’s a problem in a relationship, the idea that more love will solve everything; or there wasn’t enough love to make it work... is incorrect. We have to dis-engage from this idea of love, where “love solves everything” What exactly is love? In the western world, way too many people will say that love is way too important in life. That’s incorrect. Love is not the most important thing in life. It’s not a precursor to relationship success. Love alone is not meant to make a marriage work. Love is not important. However, let’s define our context. What is love? Love are the feelings you should have for those who are important in your life. If someone is important in your life, you ought to love them. If someone is important in your life, and you still don’t love them, they are still important. If you love somebody who is not important in your life, they are still not important. Just loving somebody does not make them important. The lesson is, love those who are important to you. Do not mix love with importance. How does loving somebody make them important? So when you stop loving them, do they become disposable and less important?! Let’s say you have a brother. And you can’t stand your brother but love the dog you grew up with. Your brother is an important person. Hence you should love your brother. But will you love your brother over the dog? The fact of the matter is, you should. Even if you do not love your brother, he is still important. Let’s say you have a dog. And you love your dog but you do not love the brother. So you love your dog but don’t love the brother. To illustrate, ask an average child in the United States regarding what they think. The child will say that they love their dog more but do not love their brother. 😢 The child chooses his/her dog over the brother at such a young age. The brother who you do not love is still more important in your life than the dog you do love. The western concept of love is a Hollywood invention. It sells but it’s not true to life. The idea that loving somebody makes them important is a nasty idea. Then when you stop loving somebody do they become important because you “love” them? The idea that love makes someone important is a bad one. Love is a feeling. It is temporary. What happens when you stop loving the person? Do they become less important, and hence, disposable? It is a nasty idea to make someone important that you because you “love” them. Instead, love the one who is important to you. Once a young couple approaches Rabbi Manis Friedman and they ask to be married to each other because they are very much “in love”. The rabbi then asks, “if you are already in love, then why do you want to marry?” “Do you want to marry so you can continue to love?” The couple said, “We want to get married so we can make a commitment to love.” The rabbi says to himself, “So you want to marry for love so that you can commit to stay together even when you do not love? You have no intentions of doing that. Best not marry. “ So what happens when the couple decides they do not love anymore? Will that marriage last? Do love and marriage go together like a horse and carriage?! No they don’t. So what exactly is the role of love in marriage? When you get married, your spouse becomes the most important person in your life. Even more than your parents, and more than your children. The feelings, the spirit, with which you conduct this very important relationship should be one of love. But let’s say that even if you do love your spouse, the feelings do not need to be embellished. The relationship is valid on its own. It doesn’t need to be “supported by love”. The relationship supports love. Why? Because you are mine. You love your life. You are mine and hence I love you. Man to woman: “I want to marry you for your money.” Why is this offensive? He doesn’t love her. He loves the money. So it’s a very thinly disguised request for money. Does the man want to marry her or marry her for the money? If he instead says, I want to marry her for love. Then what happens when the love is gone? Then at least, there’s the money. Then the man implies that he’s still marrying her for the money. Because he says he’s marrying because he likes something about her. Not because he likes her. He is still implying that he wants to marry her because of something he likes about her. Which could be the money. Both marrying for love / marrying for money is wrong. They are both flawed logic. What happens when the money is gone? The love which was a pre-requisite for the sale of the marriage contract is now gone. Whether it’s money or love - it’s all wrong. If a man says, I am marrying you so I can get access to you and to the love then what happens when the love is gone? You say you love everything (qualities) about your wife but do you love HER? Do you love her person, even if those qualities change? Then the rabbi asks the man, why then does the wife seek a divorce.… if you say you love everything about the wife?
Rabbi please help , I locked eyes with a woman for 3 or so seconds before we ever spoke , I looked in her eyes possibly more intimate than I ever did, she seemed to very much reciprocate the look in the eyes back,I went outside and heard in my mind, do not touch her she is married , 2 weeks later she confessed without me asking saying she is married, she is a Bible reader and believer, I got her out of my mind and ignored her and forgot about her like in that way, I see her at my work very occasionally, I told her my Rabbi in Colorado said not to talk to her she is married, I heard some thing like that her husband may have got in trouble for pursuing a woman or cheating , I’m Not really sure if it’s true, this women touches my arm and shoulder and gives me hugs and said I’m her favorite person in front of people at my work, she treats me nicer than any woman I ever met, I pray for her marriage and ask G-d to take her out of my mind , I never want to think about her , it’s not fare to ever covet another man’s wife, my question is why does the Bible say G-d will take away the spouse of a man who disobeyed Yahweh, it’s in the old testament, I have read it many times, I never want to sin against G-d, I don’t want to think of her , she messaged me a few times and I told her we can’t talk, because she is married , do I just ignore her ? And I don’t want ever to have feelings for a married woman , I feel bad but it just happened, am I totally responsible? Because I accidentally looked in her eyes like that without knowing she was married and before we ever spoke , it was not maybe how I ever looked at a woman exactly, how do I proceed to repent? Please help
Rabbi Friedman, it is true, dog is as important as siblings as for us non Orthodox, our animals are family members , it's not a hollywood invention. Sorry but it's false
I always thought that love is such a broad term. I don't know if we as humans can grasp loving others as The Name does. There are so many aspects to it. We can love more like our Creator does with His help, but we can't be Him. So we are limited in our abilities to love. Recognizing that is a good step forward. But I agree, our imaginations of love, and looking at one we feel love toward with rosey glasses isn't enough.
and now the human-hating, mother naturists, or regressive left, attack the social media, ignoring the cancel culture by themselves, talk of the spreading of the so-called hate speech, a term with an extremely broad definition that can easily be used against just about any opinion on the internet. It seems to me, most of the generalised negativity about the present is politically formulated by the regressive left.
The first warning to be suspicious of a celebrity academic is when the lionshare of their comments are about subjects outside of their research discipline.
Reason is one half of an equation. Super rationality can be the equivalent of Frankenstein. Reason needs feeling to balance it. Feeling needs reason to balance it. It is best to follow the Middle Way advised by Religion, Philosophy and Psychology, negotiating a path between reason and feeling, not emphasizing one or the other.
Atheistism and a disrespect for nature is a real problem. Native peoples always maintained balance in nature. Now with factory farming and other horrors how nature is dealt with is horrific. It is inevitable that there will be a backlash as there is intelligence there, it is not dumb.
Watch the film ‘The Great Year’ about the Precession of the Equinoxes. What is not understood is that Consciousness and Intelligence are fundamental. They express at the highest level in the human. They being confined to the human and arising or coming into existence through evolution is mistaken as they are fundamental. What happens is far from random. We have some impact as we interact with nature but we are no way in control unless we align ourselves with that intelligence and cooperate with it.. Instead we mostly oppose it. Darwinism has dumbed everything down.
There is absolutely no indication that the official response to COVID did anything other than causing greater casualties than would have happened were nothing done.
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She is accaly planing for a new hollocast, where her grandchildren is the victims. Maby it was not a good idea to make a nation where al the sittisens have PTSD. We white europeans did the hollocast and Israel (from the english colony) maby it is time for us to take responsibility and move al palistinians to Europe and let them be sittisens in our country:s. Beccose the jews will not back down and the palistinians cant beccose they have litterly noware else to go.
@@AS-ri1mb the Holocaust was a genocide, this woman is talking about the genocide she survived. Palestine is being put through a genocide, those committing the genocide weaponised what happened her and others like her to justify the right to commit genocide without condemnation. Multiple Holocaust survivors have come out and condemned Israel's actions as identical to that of Nazi Germany. Absolutely not "give it a rest" entirely the opposite, never again what's supposed to mean never again, there wasn't supposed to be terms and conditions
That was uncalled for .Have you ever been to The camps ?yyou havent and dont kbow .By the way ive seen gazza and it doesnt look like a prison before oct. Now it looks lije a war zone dont poke a bear if you think the bear will not attack ten fold .
I still find it very relevant on a smaller scale. I would hurry & tie the shoe because it only took me two seconds versus the 6 minutes it might take my son, but I wasn't doing him any favors by doing that. But yes, you're right & we're so incredibly fortunate to live a life not knowing those horrors.
Agreed. And she seems to understand that her advice requires moderation, because after saying you should let a child of indiscriminate age (though this usually happens what, between 2-6?) try to tie their shoe for an hour, she did mention to be age appropriate. Please, don't let children struggle for extended periods without help, encouragement, education and rest. Context matters.
@@thepfoneguy9470And thank you for this. Anti-Semitism is rife and so is ignorance, hence there being a staggering number of people who identify supporting Palestinian people with anti-Semitism (many of them appear to be people who have actively ignored the issue until last year, unsurprisingly). As a Jewish woman myself, I can confirm that supporting the Palestinian people is merely human, not a hate crime. They deserve to have their human rights met, and we aren't coming close, as a global society.
i have had to live fir 2 and a half years away from my husband for reasons of work. We have always liked the idea of marriage - of our marriage - and thank goidness its been more than 40 years. But i hate being away from him. i wonder why if we are neant to be married, am i alone or am i lonely? i think it's lonely; i know I'm not alone because even if he is a very long plane ride away, neither of us feels alone. But should I be pushing more for a physical presence of eachother? Can you still be married and be physically apart for a long time? I think so, but i don't like it very much, and i dont think it will end any time soon. It was only meant to be short term but our circumstances require it. And by the way, I am not Jewish but dont that matters. My husband has lots of freckles 😂 I think its 'home' I'm missing. I feel i am home whwn i talk to him in the phone. But a physical presence of home might be n7ce to.
100% of people oppressing Palestinians are Jewish. This is fun! 85% of the people sewing racial division is America are Jewish. I think it's the only religion that has a name for all other people, as a discriminatory usage.
So simple minded trying to prove themselves to americans when its a whole different country trying ro kill them. American wont help. Theyll give you guns tho
A couple are counseled by a pastor or etc... love and marriage are the focus. The church relies on love leading to a couple wake up one day not in love, so there children see love as a condiition of all relationships and can't be dependend on. Then these children are in a blended family and the kids don't love each other, the a few years the couple break up divorce so now you have his,hers, and theres. They marry someelse and the the cycle starts over. America's families are lost finding love.
