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I started my career being completely clueless about where I wanted to go and what I wanted to accomplish. And, like many professionals, I was looking for an exciting career. After years of learning through trial and error, I’m bringing what I learned to this channel-tips for first-time leaders, first-time managers, and anyone struggling to figure out their careers.
For professionals and future leaders, my channel caters to prepping you for success! I try to always remain insightful, practical, and honest… no hype and no BS.
I lost one of my hardest workers, and it's all my fauIt. I saw him as my weakest employee. And by that, I mean least competent and intelligent. We catered a hypnotist show, and the hypnotist said he would allow one worker to get onstage. I went, and by the time it was over, a teenage attendee said to me, "Hey, guess what? You're an asshoIe." When I asked what that was all about, my colleague explained to me. The hypnotist asked me to share a complex philosophy I have, and I said that hard work doesn't always lead to success. And I used a certain employee (let's call him Tom) as an example. See, I talked about how he was a slow learner. How he went to a small charter school and not the local public high school. How he graduated at 20, not 18. How he didn't have a driver's license, still lived with his mom at 28, and seemed incompetent to do things by himself at work. Apparently I said Tom's only strengths were his choices--dedication and effort. Said the rest of the crew were much better than him and had more skills and brains. The colleague quoted me: "Tom is practically a Ioser, with only his diligence going for him, no natural skills." Tom quit. It seems he doesn't feel comfortable working for someone who doesn't respect or believe in him. And that's the problem. Honestly, I do think Tom's less/lesser. I do think students/graduates from his old school are inferior to the ones from the bigger school. I do think it's just wrong that Tom still lives with his mom. And I can't simply change the perspective; it's automatically in me, glued inside. It's like when you don't specifically know why you're more attractive to blondes than brunettes, you just are...or why you like one movie series more than another, you just do. That's how it is with my perspective of Tom. While I appreciate him, it turns out, I don't respect him. I'm a real jerk
Who would give you validation when someone is gaslighting you.? I often find other colleagues won't even witness, defend or even get involved when someone is being gaslighted. They just don't want to know & don't care either...
Thank you for this! I don’t understand my manager or supervisor. I’m not leaving to make them happy. I ask for help with a call and my messages are ignored. It’s okay I make paper trails if they want to go to HR.
I’m in Lloydminster a small town in Canada and have experienced this many times because people here are not well travelled or have never in their entire lives worked or been friends with someone of culture or race. It’s sad.
buddy of mine was a lead man at a Cabinet shop and the owner came in one day told him he needed to show the new guy the ins and outs of his job so he get the boss aside and ask him what is this all about ? well this kid is my baby girls boy friend and he knock her up and is going to need a job ! my pal told the boss get my check the boss ask why reply i not going to show this guy what i know so he can take my job so get my check now boss ask him well what are you going to do for work he tells him i was looking for a job when i found this one . its nice to have f#$k you money i have always had it ! i have never been flashy not a big shot keep a low profile own what i have . and like my pal i let my boss know i don't need you ! you need me ! and for the last 40 year's i have only worked 2 to 3 days a week ! oh what makes life ez no wife or kids ! girl friend yes but we only see each other about three days a week no drama
I'm 71. Wasted 37 years at a job. Harasses by all females. False write-ups. Character assassination. Hired Attorney. Waste of money. HR sided with manager. Finally fired. Glad to be out of there. If that happens to you, leave. It's not worth the stress. Life's too short!
You cannot confront a manager who gaslight you. It is pointless because gaslighting is intentional. Intentionality betrays a certain ugliness of character which cannot be remedied. Who else to support you? Colleagues? You are joking, right? They don’t want to cause trouble for themselves. Unions or HR? They are useless and more often than not, in cahoots with those in power. Coaches, lawyers, and psychologists? Many who suffer at work live below the poverty line, and count their pennies for food and rent. It is completely hopeless. So, one ends up being depressed and paranoid.
5:25 Which one? In various jobs I had multiple supervisors who were giving me conflicting advice. You are right that these things can purposefully happen. I think that most of the time, most of them don’t even have nefarious intentions, though. It’s a mix of personal incompetence and rotten organisational culture.
I think you are being too superficial here. My boss wants me to leave and I can feel it with my skin but he shows none of what you are talking about! How about the hidden signs? Giving your job to someone else, avoiding bilateral meetings with you (and at the same time being the same level of very responsive and feedback giving on email only)? How about a boss who knows nothing about you as a person - preferences, hobbies, family situation? He never asks you how was your vacation time or if you recovered well if you’ve been on sick leave, or not event sending you ‘Happy Christmas’ or ‘Happy New Year’…? How about a boss who wants all for himself and does not think about your career growth? I would be more untested to know how to deal with these kind of personality bosses. All else that you are disproving is simple bullying and harassment.
In my case, several years ago, it began with a meeting with a new supervisor that there had been "things said about me by some of my coworkers" and that "they were concerned" but nothing else as to the specifics. I was then accused of missing a training meeting when the trainer himself said I was there and didn't know what the managers were talking about. It was then said I had taken 10 minutes to get downstairs to the meeting instead of 5 and I had held up the meeting by "being tardy". Fast forward, most of my work taken away, including a major project given to a totally new person (who wound up screwing it up) as well as nasty messages on Friday afternoons trying to get me in a bad mood, ruin my weekend, and provoke an incident on Monday. Lastly, managers started targeting anyone who was friendly to me in the office, telling them I was trouble, and trying to turn them on me by "providing testimony" about "discretions". It was all total nonsense, and I wound up leaving getting a new job. The managers were furious and tried to find out where I was going so they could call the new job and sabotage it. After that I filed charges of harassment and retaliation and (big surprise) wound up winning in administrative court.
With my boss who was intimidated by me and made things miserable for me and sabotaged me, I tried the submitting and stroking her ego approach and she took it as weakness and bullied me.
I have seen coworkers that started working same time as me being given the chance to take part in projects that are never offered to me at all. Already mentioned this to the boss and said something will be done but its been almost a year since that and situation is still the same... Im not sure if I should mention it again or simply start looking for something else, I dont want to waste my time in a place that doesnt offer me proper experience.
Everyone in America needs to Stand up and Say Climate Change is Important so "Stop the Commute and Work from Home!" Unless you have to be in the factory, driving a truck, or delivery, or any part that requires hand's on work... "Everyone else can Work from Home! They can stand up and say "Stop The Commute Work from Home!" and that means programmers, marketers, etc. If Trump comes out with this concept he will Win! Stop Forcing people in an Office Environment because you think you can control them! So Many Programmers, and others don't want to sit in a Cubicle with loudmouth Karen going off and using Politics to get ahead! "Stop The Commute and Work from Home!" Needs to be the saying so we can save our Planet from Greenhouse Commuting Gasses. Just look at LA or Atlanta and how long people are emitting bad gasses because they can't move for hours! "Stop the Commute and Work from Home!" If this channel cares about our environment and Climate Change they will adopt the slogan "Stop the Commute and Work from Home!"
This is spot on. I can look back now and look at it objectively, but while it was happening, I just couldn't believe it. All of the things you've described happened to me... I tried to fight back, but HR was no help at all. In fact, alerting them to this pattern only exacerbated the situation. HR is not your friend! I was subsequently "let go" after what they called a "resource action"... it was devastating at the time, but I survived, and eventually found another good job. I am no longer bitter, but just reflective. I'm glad that I'm able to look back at it, and recognize that it was the best thing for me. I'm now happily retired, and have no regrets! Thank you for letting people know what I didn't know at the time...
Not true. I avoid the coworkers that act like they are the boss. Not because im threatened by them, but because i dont like them. Simply dont like their person and what they are. Its a natural and a healthy respons. And if they are not the boss, they should have that respons.
My situation is conflicted. I’ve known my boss has wanted to push me out, for about 6 years. Always this, “I want to hire someone to help you.” Been through a few people. Finally hit pay dirt and, guess what? That newer person is doing 90% of the work. While I stare at the wall and get occasional crap work. People will find this, with a narcissistic, jealous boss. I’ve been a high performer and this boss got tired of seeing me outshine them. It is also personal as, we both are scapegoats, possibly, from narcissistic families. Problem is, my boss doesn’t like that I’ve fought and escaped mine. And this is enough, to the point where my boss will lie to their boss, about how much work I’m doing, even when their boss knows they’re lying. So, the jealousy is real. It’s also super obvious that this newer hire, is the new BFF. It can be obviously exclusionary. I need the job, but as I’m probably a layperson’s expert on narcissism, the newer employee can have this boss, as their friend, as far as I’m concerned. So, there’s this push/pull of the boss wanting me to find another job and their boss not wanting me to, perhaps. It’s also not just me. Another employee’s work has been handed over to this new person. So, there’s a lot of personal work going on. My boss must have something going for them though. Because I’m sure I’m not the only one, who thinks they should be fired, for how they handle a few things. On a positive note, another major company has asked me to interview, for a higher position. So, I’m going to interview with them.
I will never forget something my successful real estate brother-in-law told me one day….he said that there are only 2 scenarios where working 12 hours or more a day is if you’re making at least $100,000 a year or you’re running your own business. I think it just makes so much sense. If you’re working for a company and you’re working 60+ hours a week and making $80k or less per year then it’s not worth it.
I will never forget something my successful real estate brother-in-law told me one day….he said that there are only 2 scenarios where working 12 hours or more a day is if you’re making at least $100,000 a year or you’re running your own business. I think it just makes so much sense. If you’re working for a company and you’re working 60+ hours a week and making $80k or less per year then it’s not worth it.
Thanks a lot for these insights ! Strangely enough, I see most of these signs, but at a department scale ... and I'm actually asked (as a lead) to be part of it ... does it mean that they are trying to push out the whole team ? 🤔
