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While we hold onto the anger & pain from the past we literally continue to make ourselves victims & hold on to the pain with all our might. It is truly only once we take our power back & say I will not let someone else's action dictate how I feel about myself anymore. I will not let that pain hold me back anymore. I see my abuser as a perfect innocent child of God that's been hurt & then pushed that pain to others. Most people refuse to inflict pain on others so they hold it on their selves, reliving the guilt, shame & the pain, always running from it or trying to numb it. Heroin helped me numb for years before I could see how bad I had hurt myself and my children over my traumatic childhood so I called the person who'd abused me to find out how their life has gone & to wish them a good life & forgive them so I could finally be free of blaming him for my life. I also had to forgive my parents for not seeing what had been happening & somewhat allowing it to continue,and then I had to forgive me and that's the hard one.. I should have known better so its a learning curve. I am still super critical of myself but it is a work in progress and I thank God everyday for helping me survive this long in life, & praying he can restore my soul and heart so that I might be good enough in his eyes to be the one he made me to be, the purpose that's meant for me is yet to be revealed, in time, with faith, I know it will find me. We are all God's children, so many of us are lost, and not finding the love & recognition, empathy & understanding without judgement by the church so we turn to Jesus in our own ways as He is always with us if only we open our hearts to his peace & wisdom, which comes through our forgiveness and love of others. Thank you for your video, I hope.it helps so many find their freedom & light again.
We are on a journey, and the journey can be very hard. Don't give up! Crawl along the path if you need to. I'm listening to this and reading the mindfulness book 30 Days to Reduce Anxiety by Harper Daniels.
