Lyrics, according to GENIUS. [Intro] One of four My name is Ian Mathias Bavitz. I was born in 1-9-7-6, at Syosset hospital, located in Long Island, NY. I am 6 foot 4, I weigh 2-0-0 pounds. I have brown hair and green eyes. I enjoy writing songs, painting, movies and diner food. I have two brothers; Chris and Graham, and two parents; Paul and Anita. In august of 2-0-0-1 I went crazy. This was originally not for public consumption. This was made for four people-four people that literally saved my life. They know who they are-and, uh-I mean, I could live to be a thousand years old and never re-pay them. I don't think this song would pay for them. But hopefully by putting it out, push the bank a little further [Verse] This ain't a burner for the whips (no it isn't) This ain't even Aesop Rock fly earthworm demeanor (no it isn't) My name is Ian Mathias Bavitz and I was born in Long Island, New York Seventy Six, before Graham and after Chris... OK In August of 2001 my seemingly splinter-proof brain bone scaffolding imploded I kept it on the hush, but nearly tumbling To the cold hard concrete on mere bodega trips For cigarettes and soda, shook me to casper Dizzy with a nausea chaser, motor sensory eraser Gorophobe tunnel vision, guilt, self loathing arrangement Rose rapidly out a bog I'd never fished in That abates three separate foreign meds While I seems to hook lines and syncro simple fishing Simple primitive self taught, easing of soul, mind and body But the symptoms rejected my cave-man modus operandi So now it's one fish belly up, through medicated mileage Shrinks that get 250 an hour for awkward silence And, I'd be lying if I said all of this Made even the slightest fragment of sense to me That's frail... Simply put I don't know what happened, or what's still happening I literally feel like I'm teetering on the blunt edge of my sanity JAIME, I killed the robots and I'm sorry Broke down in front of you, embarrassed But you lent a heart and hand that only you could You're one of my best friends and yes I'd take that bullet for you That's my word, which is about all I have left TONY, I know you know I'm crazy, cause you told me But that didn't ever bother you, I hold you as my brother 'til death And I got your back if ever the drunk goblin step For makin' a cat laugh when I was walking with the dead KATHRYN, mother figure, older sister, concerned beyond limits Letting me know I wasn't the only one with this Continuous offers for vacation, Chicago visits Talked me through repair of a head full of broken pistons RAIA, for the late night movie rentals and the company I needed An' you knew it, but I just wouldn't admit it You listened to me blab about my issues for hours Offer incredible advice, gave me a hug when I was finished Am I a jack of all trades? No... I like to write songs though Are they good? I dunno... But I could tell you that I only write shit down when I believe it So take this how you want, but know I mean it I want you all to know that I'm scared Now my fuckin' crooked soul never faced a monster like the last few months Ever in my whole life... I wish I could explain this better (I can't) But the pieces won't formulate it to anything even close to cohesive So I guess this is my feeble way to thank you Four soldiers that extended something sacred off the purity of kindness I owe you all my life and please don't argue with that statement 'Cause without y'all, I may not have a life to offer, take it [Chorus] Thank you I wish I could explain this better (Thank you) I'm sorry for burdening your pleasures (Thank you) I love you all with all that's left of me (Thank you) For helping try to kill what made a mess of me (Thank you) Somehow, someway (Thank you) I'mma get you back someday (Thank you) Just gotta figure this all out (Thank you) So; [Interlude] I guess it is kind of funny when you look at it from a step back. How one man can literally buckle under the same pressures other men operate normally under. I have scoped this out from all angles, multiple times. I have been over everything in my head, till I can't think anymore. But I guess some times, when you can't breathe, there are people there to breathe for you. I am lucky enough to have those people around me. Thank you for helping me to not die. Thank you for helping me to not die [Outro] Pocket full of pennies, and a soul gone tilt Cockpit full of memories and a drain full of guilt (x4)
"I guess it is kind of funny when you look at it from a step back. How one man can literally buckle under the same pressures other men operate normally under. I have scoped this out from all angles, multiple times. I have been over everything in my head, till I can't think anymore. But I guess some times, when you can't breathe, there are people there to breathe for you. I am lucky enough to have those people around me. Thank you for helping me to not die. Thank you for helping me to not die" Goddamn this track
Just was introduced to this song from a friend who this song helped them through dark times so here I am almost a month into losing my wife first time listening to this
I know I'm not the first person to say this. And I don't wanna sound corny. But this song saved my life. I didn't think anyone understood. Even the ones trying to help. Wasn't till I heard this that I knew
I remember hearing this at 3:30am, and relating to it so much, and crying. I shared it with my son who was 13-14 at the time. This was way back when it came out. The cd was over and it just went on. Then, boom, this monster hidden track appeared and scared the shit out of me. Here I am 53 yo in 5/2023, crying and still relating even more. My son, who shared the love of Aesop rock with me, is dead. My seemingly splinter-proof brain bone-scaffolding imploded. It’s so unfair the man I have become to so many because of this. I’m trying to get better. Just know this song gets me through sometimes.
I am so sorry for your pain just know you are not alone and the world is a better place with you in it,please don't allow the pain to become a shroud just live your life loud&make your son proud'...☝️❤️
Yo man be strong and live in his memory. He passed on to a better life and we are stuck here listening to Ace rock. That's the brutal beauty of life. I lost my brother and sister so I can relate somewhat.
I was looking everywhere for this song. It definitely disappeared for awhile. I can understand it due to the personal message but his lyricism and use of metaphor.. it makes me empathasize with the pain and rage and regret in his voice.. this may be one of my favorite songs of Aesop