Lyrics, according to GENIUS. [Intro] One of four My name is Ian Mathias Bavitz. I was born in 1-9-7-6, at Syosset hospital, located in Long Island, NY. I am 6 foot 4, I weigh 2-0-0 pounds. I have brown hair and green eyes. I enjoy writing songs, painting, movies and diner food. I have two brothers; Chris and Graham, and two parents; Paul and Anita. In august of 2-0-0-1 I went crazy. This was originally not for public consumption. This was made for four people-four people that literally saved my life. They know who they are-and, uh-I mean, I could live to be a thousand years old and never re-pay them. I don't think this song would pay for them. But hopefully by putting it out, push the bank a little further [Verse] This ain't a burner for the whips (no it isn't) This ain't even Aesop Rock fly earthworm demeanor (no it isn't) My name is Ian Mathias Bavitz and I was born in Long Island, New York Seventy Six, before Graham and after Chris... OK In August of 2001 my seemingly splinter-proof brain bone scaffolding imploded I kept it on the hush, but nearly tumbling To the cold hard concrete on mere bodega trips For cigarettes and soda, shook me to casper Dizzy with a nausea chaser, motor sensory eraser Gorophobe tunnel vision, guilt, self loathing arrangement Rose rapidly out a bog I'd never fished in That abates three separate foreign meds While I seems to hook lines and syncro simple fishing Simple primitive self taught, easing of soul, mind and body But the symptoms rejected my cave-man modus operandi So now it's one fish belly up, through medicated mileage Shrinks that get 250 an hour for awkward silence And, I'd be lying if I said all of this Made even the slightest fragment of sense to me That's frail... Simply put I don't know what happened, or what's still happening I literally feel like I'm teetering on the blunt edge of my sanity JAIME, I killed the robots and I'm sorry Broke down in front of you, embarrassed But you lent a heart and hand that only you could You're one of my best friends and yes I'd take that bullet for you That's my word, which is about all I have left TONY, I know you know I'm crazy, cause you told me But that didn't ever bother you, I hold you as my brother 'til death And I got your back if ever the drunk goblin step For makin' a cat laugh when I was walking with the dead KATHRYN, mother figure, older sister, concerned beyond limits Letting me know I wasn't the only one with this Continuous offers for vacation, Chicago visits Talked me through repair of a head full of broken pistons RAIA, for the late night movie rentals and the company I needed An' you knew it, but I just wouldn't admit it You listened to me blab about my issues for hours Offer incredible advice, gave me a hug when I was finished Am I a jack of all trades? No... I like to write songs though Are they good? I dunno... But I could tell you that I only write shit down when I believe it So take this how you want, but know I mean it I want you all to know that I'm scared Now my fuckin' crooked soul never faced a monster like the last few months Ever in my whole life... I wish I could explain this better (I can't) But the pieces won't formulate it to anything even close to cohesive So I guess this is my feeble way to thank you Four soldiers that extended something sacred off the purity of kindness I owe you all my life and please don't argue with that statement 'Cause without y'all, I may not have a life to offer, take it [Chorus] Thank you I wish I could explain this better (Thank you) I'm sorry for burdening your pleasures (Thank you) I love you all with all that's left of me (Thank you) For helping try to kill what made a mess of me (Thank you) Somehow, someway (Thank you) I'mma get you back someday (Thank you) Just gotta figure this all out (Thank you) So; [Interlude] I guess it is kind of funny when you look at it from a step back. How one man can literally buckle under the same pressures other men operate normally under. I have scoped this out from all angles, multiple times. I have been over everything in my head, till I can't think anymore. But I guess some times, when you can't breathe, there are people there to breathe for you. I am lucky enough to have those people around me. Thank you for helping me to not die. Thank you for helping me to not die [Outro] Pocket full of pennies, and a soul gone tilt Cockpit full of memories and a drain full of guilt (x4)

thank you for helping me not die

It’ll be okay just stick to the river

It’ll be okay just stick to the river

❤❤❤❤❤

"I guess it is kind of funny when you look at it from a step back. How one man can literally buckle under the same pressures other men operate normally under. I have scoped this out from all angles, multiple times. I have been over everything in my head, till I can't think anymore. But I guess some times, when you can't breathe, there are people there to breathe for you. I am lucky enough to have those people around me. Thank you for helping me to not die. Thank you for helping me to not die" Goddamn this track

My best friend overdosed and Aes was his favorite. ❤

I love this guy he really saved my life he’s so relatable I can’t even write anymore because he’s said it all already and i’m at peace that way.

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Just was introduced to this song from a friend who this song helped them through dark times so here I am almost a month into losing my wife first time listening to this

I know I'm not the first person to say this. And I don't wanna sound corny. But this song saved my life. I didn't think anyone understood. Even the ones trying to help. Wasn't till I heard this that I knew

This has 10k views. His latest, mindful solution has 250k 10 days in!! Look how far Aes has come.

This song helped me living through depersonalization. If you know, you know. Stay strong

Holy Moly. 😢❤

"But you also tilt when you should withdraw, and that is knightly too."

I'm so glad this song is back. Thank you.

Excellent

I remember hearing this at 3:30am, and relating to it so much, and crying. I shared it with my son who was 13-14 at the time. This was way back when it came out. The cd was over and it just went on. Then, boom, this monster hidden track appeared and scared the shit out of me. Here I am 53 yo in 5/2023, crying and still relating even more. My son, who shared the love of Aesop rock with me, is dead. My seemingly splinter-proof brain bone-scaffolding imploded. It’s so unfair the man I have become to so many because of this. I’m trying to get better. Just know this song gets me through sometimes.

Nice Username.

I've come back to this track a lot in my life, but man it's hittin hard right now.

This song is one of his best works in my opinion

This is the song I will loop at my wake

Finally somebody uploaded this again. I have not been able to find this song for months all of a sudden. Thank you!!!!

Imagine having a mental breakdown a month before 9/11

I was looking everywhere for this song. It definitely disappeared for awhile. I can understand it due to the personal message but his lyricism and use of metaphor.. it makes me empathasize with the pain and rage and regret in his voice.. this may be one of my favorite songs of Aesop

thanks for keeping this song on the tube dude, thanks Aes.

This is one of those songs where pressing replay is absolutely necessary

THANK GOD FINNALY ITS ON ITS OWN

Time to hit play and pour a fresh one 😭

@DMCA