Revealing secrets on how to become the most attractive you can be Physically, Intellectually, Emotionally and Spiritually (or as us insiders call it...the PIES). Listen to weekly episodes. Hosted by CEO, PhD candidate and Speaker Kimberly Beam Holmes.
COUNSELING (bad counselors excluded) does not make everything worse. Counseling unsurfaces the often uncomfortable stuff clients need to work through and if unwilling, no change can occur. UNWILLINGNESS makes everything worse. In marriage counseling, as you know, if one party is unwilling there is no chance at the real change to have a satisfactory and thriving marriage. The willing partner can still gain something from the process though, which is often knowledge, clarity and direction.
Hi, thanks for your comment! I am the CEO of Marriage Helper. We exist to save marriages and strengthen families. We have over 1000 videos on how to save your marriage over on our RU-vid channel which you can find here 👉 youtube.com/@marriagehelper Or you can go to marriagehelper.com to learn more about what we do!
His working/thinking through conversions through a court room lens and it’s very helpful to have a productive results I’m guessing him hearing his father share all those court room stories, plans, and outcomes as a child made it a natural way of thinking/planning on how to resolve a problem
DV is why me and my husband are separated and im not finished witu him. I want him to get better and be the husband and father i know he can be. I need self-esteem therapy because i know I wouldn't have let things get this bad if i had high self-esteem. So much work but i still love and want my husbamd i didnt do this to him i know i did it for us and our kids. They need their parents to be in the right mental state and not fighting all the time. Or dad yelling at mom for something small and minuscule
This is very true but don't overlook that aside from a marital relationship most relationships whether friends,coworkers,even family members and certainly bosses, supervisors etc are not always between two people of equal status so one person is often more motivated to resolve the conflict in a mutually beneficial way. Its not to say the other person doesn't care at all but even if they care about you and even claim to love you their ego is far more Important than the relationship so they are far more willing to roll the dice n jeopardize the relationship especially if they think and perhaps if there has been a pattern of one person( lower status person) being tje one initiating recomcilliation.
Kimberly Bean Holm you're amazing my son and daughter-in-law are facing this now and it's breaking my heart your advice is so sound I have sent him this video and I really hope he listens to it you're very reassuring and gives hope ❤
There is ALWAYS hope ❤️ I would recommend you go check out a 4-part series we did on our Marriage Helper RU-vid channel on beliefs and values. You can find that here 👉 bit.ly/3YGA8yg
Is also a good choice to not be too demanding but to find a balance, this doesn’t meander a relationship is not wanted, maybe about different life styles
Wife refused any counseling to save the marriage. Her only friends for years outside our marriage were divorced. THAT poisoned her. She finally screwed her coworker who of course supported and encouraged her to divorce me. 17 wasted years with her. And sicker than that, I want her back and still miss and love her 26 years later. We have never talked since I recieved the divorce papers.
Grateful for this video, I needed to hear it today. At 10:57 Mr. Mathews spoke a truth into me that was painful to receive, but so needed. Hope, what a powerful force it is....I am a Christian and this past year I've discovered Lamentations in a deeper way....Chapter 3:24 "The LORD is my portion says my soul, therefore I will HOPE in him". It is indeed a grief that we walk daily and the PIES have been such a helpful framework to rebuild. Thank you for the great work you do.
Do not recommend people to move on after divorce. Let each person decide. It is true that you don't want to be in waiting mode and be stuck. But moving on is not everyone's cup of tea.
10:33 this sounds like a good strategy to get opposing counsel all worked up at the beginning with a strategic plan to quickly calm yourself knowing you just got them all worked up and they may stay that way
Such a great topic! I enjoyed listening to Jefferson's calming responses and had a lot of takeaways that I'll be using effectively in my next discussions. Jefferson's tips are of huge benefit as I've been following him for some time now. Thanks!
Great episode, enjoyed the clinical review of brain fog research …..need for adequate hydration is something I perpetually miss the mark on. It would be interesting to review research on the effects of long term distress (i.e. divorce, homelessness, chronic disease) on brain fog. I can speak to the experience of a long and painful ongoing divorce that has undoubtedly resulted in brain fog in some of the domains you covered.
22:33 thanks for a great interview. I am stuck on the one thing related to post traumatic growth. Is Dr. Tedeschi saying that anxiety is a factor prior to people experience experiencing post traumatic growth? After 3 brain hemorrhages and, brain surgery and living with deficits after hemorrhagic stroke I feel like I’ve experienced post traumatic growth over the years but can’t say that I ever had anxiety. I’d love your thoughts.
I really love her research but, hearing about the whole trying out when younger and marriage later, I rather be the man who women try out with. I don't know how many men would consciously accept this. I hope someone talks about this even further because this seems kind of an empty way of being.
I have no hobbies or life. All work and no play. weve talked about it. But nothing changes. I resent getting married.i give and give. I wanna kill myself when im sad. I hate what my life is at 54. F it.
I have been listening to you and your father for about a week now nonstop. My husband left during our Thanksgiving holiday and I was completely taken by surprise. I was 4 months pregnant. I really tried and studied how to communicate with him and even tried different communicate styles, but I always felt like he was not listening at all. To date, we are separated and going through divorce proceedings, and when I have to bring anything up about the children being hurt/embarrassed by his mother he gets super angry and leaves. He will not communicate and I feel like he is not open to think that his parents are less than perfect. It makes him more angry when he yells at me that I don't get as emotional as he does and has told me that it means I don't care about the topic. How should I address any of the issues if he doesn't seem to want to communicate at all?
I committed to saving my marriage before my husband left our home. I have tried a lot of these things, but I feel like nothing is helping. He continues to not communicate and seems determined not to come back. I am praying constantly because I know God is for marriages! I will continue to try and work and will stay committed because I love this man and he is my God ordained husband until death do us part.
