Nobody is really happy with their own body even if they are trans or cys is a modern human being issue. One should not get fixated with our own body is only temporary and only the exterior we are spiritual beings having a physical, material temporary experience. Would you prefer to be a cys but handicapped man or a fully functioning trans man?
I have to say again, great topic, and you are very well spoken and articulate, it's a joy to watch you think about and share your feelings with us. Thanks.
Good topic. It can be confusing at times to think about whether I "have" to act or be a certain way to "be a man". The thing is, I think that I am a man, and always have been a boy/man from birth, and have behaved that way (I guess) no matter if I was being girly (sort of) or not. We all had some female gender socialization in varying degrees, which we cannot ignore and it can be kind of weird for lack of better word. I do sometimes think that I'm not being male enough, but I AM, because I am me
I completely relate&agree. For me, its been the worst part of transition, selling myself out, being someone Im not in order to be percieved as the man I am. Im pre t, & being read as male is so important, so Im over exagerating sterotypical male behaviour & although it does help me to be read male, it also makes me feel so uncomfortable as its just not me. Im looking forward to being on T & being able to grow into my own authentic self and busting out of the box walls. Thank you for sharing this
Hey Aydin, sorry to hear about you & your partner, plus having to move! Lots of changes for you. I think "being above places," like you are in this vid, is similar to me needing more space to think. A good place to get room to sort it all out. / Sounds like the other person in your life makes for some confusing, but wonderful thoughts. Hope you can figure out what you need, get some peace from it, and find your way. Take care!
Aydin!!! Thank you so much!! Glad your family took lots of pictures, we did something similar at my 47 yo b-i-l, Dwight's celebration of his life!! It is hard to believe it will be three years already this Christmas eve!!! Great memories of him I can see that in the video!! much love Barb
Your story continues to amaze me. You live with such honour, passion, and dignity. Thanks for sharing. You're so brave to be so to allow yourself to be so vulnerable and open. Glad your doing alright.
hey buddy, has been a long time...you've changed alot since ur last vid...u look really good. You also seem really relaxed and focused if that makes sense.
As always you amaze me. I am sorry to hear about your brother. My wife and I recently discussed the challenges of handling the death of a parent and or relatives who are not accepting. The estrangement was hard enough. Thank you for your advice and honesty. I hope that as time goes on you continue to heal and find some peace. I hope you are also able to forge a relationship with your niece that you have missed as well.
I think it's good that you had this experience of being "forced" by your emotional state to speak up. I know it's a change from your normal, controlled, pre-meditated activism, but in a way, I think this is a more vulnerable, more honest form. It was a different message that you sent, but it was an important one, a good one, a reminder that people need to be respectful when discussing things in a group setting. I'm disappointed in the few that had juvenile reactions, though. Grow up.
It was so touching that you decided to put off doing something that could possibly benefit you and your dysphoria out of concern for the financial well-being of your family. I hope and pray that there's some miracle in the future (all-inclusive health coverage?? or lottery...) that enables you to pursue all available avenues for making your body match your mind.
I don't think you'll ever completely get over the grief of everything that you've lost as a result of who you are. But I think it's part of who you are, and I think it makes you a deeper, more compassionate person.
There is so much maturity and growth in this video! I hope it's not condescending to say that I'm really proud of you. I think the world would be a better place if more people had this kind of commitment to self-growth.
One of the things I love about watching your videos is how you implicitly challenge your viewers to reflect on deep issues like gender identity and fluidity in self-identification. I think it's so easy to become complacent about how we view the world, and there's danger in that. When we stop thinking and learning, we stop growing; we die. It's so important to continually engage in these types of reflections or discussions.
I really liked your reflection on "home," and how sometimes it is necessary to go away but it's okay to come back. I am personally dealing with the idea of going back "home" after being away for a long time, and really becoming a different person. I appreciated hearing someone else's thoughts on this. Now, I'm going to watch the rest of the videos you've posted in the past year and see how that worked out for you. :)
Hello friend. I disappeared for awhile but I'm looking forward to getting caught up with what has happened in your life over the past two years. Thank you for sharing this deeply personal message with everyone. I continue to be amazed with the level of transparency that you are willing to offer the world. I'm so sorry for your loss, and I hope that as you continue to grieve, you are able to come to a place of peace about this.
Thanks so much...So easy to forget this when we stubbornly hold on to our perception of truth. I too experienced this with my mother, and luckily came to a place where I was able to relinquish animosity, and pain to finally express what I really needed which was love and understanding just before she went. I am grateful. All the best to you Aydin.
Aydin, so crazy to see this video. I started watching your videos when I very first realized I was trans, and before I even came out to myself. It's crazy that you're at the four year mark - it's crazy that I was just realizing myself then. I'm writing this because I just started T yesterday. Here's to becoming the best versions of ourselves we can be. -Rhys
Thanks for the update. Sorry to hear about your brother. I can also relate to the bi-polar II diagnosis as I have been diagnosed with that as well. Been on many different medications too but when you find the "right" one(s) things start to improve. Anyway...good luck and keep us posted.
Very nice to hear from you. I'm very intrigued with the work you doing. If you ever publish, please let us know. I'd love to read your work. Much love, Angela
Jeeze, that's terrible about your brother! At least you get to see your niece now. Terrible that that's the only reason why you can see her. How did your brother die, if you don't mind me asking? And your chest looks really good! BTW it's been several months, not a year, since your last upload.
Good to see you back doing a video! I have followed you since you started making transition videos :) You were one of my 'originals'! You look great and so does your chest! Sorry to hear about your brother's passing.....Hopefully it won't be a year until we see you again! -Hayden
I'm going to be honest here. I think a lot of you dwell on gender more than the average person. I think most people really don't even stop to think about their gender all that often, as most don't have any conflicts with it. I would not worry about fitting into groups you don't feel you will ever fit into because there are always groups you do fit into. Be a person first, have a gender second.
(cont) It is as if my male identity (combined with hormones, as it wasn’t an issue prior to that) negates my ability to engage critically with gender. Conversations about the oppression of gender are marked as a female only space that I’m not longer invited to despite still possessing the history of identifying as, or being perceived as female, for the majority of my life.
Your talk about not being welcome in female only spaces despite still possessing the same life history that you did at the time when you were welcome in those spaces resonates with me. While thus far I don’t really desire specific female only spaces, I feel this often in conversation and social situations. When I engage in conversation about gender, feminism and/or its intersections with sexuality, I often feel invalidated or judged for speaking.
