The problem is that it was supposed to be just a family outing, one that was to reconnect as a family due to little time together. Then the husband invited someone outside of the family that the wife didn't even know, and all of this was done without the wife's knowledge. I think it's perfectly understandable to not want to participate in an event with someone you don't know, especially if your children are also involved.
I’d say everyone sucks here tbh, the husband is in the wrong for springing someone you don’t even know onto a trip that was meant to be for you, him and your kids, especially since you don’t know the dude. But OP also sucks because she stayed gone for the whole weekend and probably selected an Air B&B without cell service on purpose cause normally it’s in the notes of said Air B&B if it has cell service or not, and that was honestly a bit cruel.
I will say she’s not in the wrong because as she stated in the video her kids almost never see their father and the time they were their dad was going to be drinking. The reason she probably did the stuff she did was to cool down which honestly could’ve deescalated the situation otherwise it probably would’ve been a weekend long fight
@@gageandcooper I agree the husband is primarily at fault, the main reason why I say OP is kinda the a-hole is because she chose an Air B&B with no Cell service, if you’ve ever searched for an Air B&B something like that is in the notes for the house so it can’t have been an accident. But that’s really the only reason, other than that I agree with OP, I’d be pissed as well if I had a Husband and he brought some random guy I don’t know in the slightest on a trip meant for the family
@@DuskShadow235 The only reason I said she wasn’t at fault is because in that kinda situation not talking was the best thing she could’ve done so that was probably her reasoning behind choosing an Airbnb without cell service
And if she chose one with service he probably would’ve tried calling which would’ve added fuel to the fire by either her accepting the call and getting into an argument over the phone or her not accepting his call without a valid reason other than her not wanting to talk to him would’ve caused a subsequent argument over that, at least choosing an Airbnb without service she could’ve made the excuse that the Airbnb didn’t have service so that’s why she couldn’t answer his calls which would’ve prevented both arguments
You're the one with the medical problem and the fact that he's willing to let you sterilize so he can't have more kids yeah that's you that's all you. There's no reason for him to get sterilized
Well. General original: if you are the one that shouldn't get pregnant you should get sterilized. You can't pressure someone to do a permanent modification to their bodies for you. They can only do it out of their own free un pressured will. Same as you can't force someone to give you their kidney. It's a you issue. Second do a very deep down to earth conversation with him (with a witness that is not taking sides. Like a lawyer) and spread your issues to him. Explain everything and how you feel neglected. How you feel he doesn't care about you or the baby and so on. Than let him speak and listen, write notes. And both try to do better. Both are exhausted from new baby and a kid. So as long as no abuse is going on (physical, mental, verbal) slow it down. You just gave birth. And him not wanting to be sterilized is his choice, he told you no. And you didn't take that no as an answer. Off course he is snappy at you. Just focus on healing. Around a month of un interrupted rest is the base line for quick healing. Don't carry anything heavier than baby don't do chores and don't walk around, have baby near you. You take care of yourself and baby only. After the healing think about actions.
The Rest Of The Story-But nobody understands that I don’t want to move on. I don’t feel comfortable replacing Jason and having my kids call another man their dad, and I don’t want to replace the love I had for Jason. I don’t want to love someone more than I love him. The children don’t remember him, but I keep many photos of him in our house. I always tell them about how much he loved them, and how proud he is of them, but they’ll never be able to connect with him. Yes, I am religious. I wasn’t before Jason passed away, but going to church has really helped me, and the thought of him being in a better place waiting for me makes me feel comfort. However, I don’t want to have two husbands when I die. I make enough to support myself and the kids, thankfully. I’m young, and I’m going to have to live the rest of my life as a single woman, but that’s fine. I just wish everyone could understand that. Thank you for reading, and please get your colon checked every once in awhile. Colon cancer doesn’t discriminate.
I wish that the parent had recorded this because then when the brother has become a parent of a 5 or 6 year old and starts talking about how hard it is to be a parent, they could play it back for him! 🤣 I am childless, with lots of nibblings and many friends with children who I have enjoyed being with, often. I will tell anyone that children behave very differently when parents aren't there. You are entertainment, of course they will be good, unless they are little demons all the time. And they will stop being good the moment the parents come home. ❤❤❤
Not the asshole. Your sister should never have high horsed your wedding and your ass hole sister really honestly should have never tried to turn your wedding into hers. The sheer disrespect and audacity of your older sister, if I ever had anyone in my family to disrespect me I wouldn’t let them tresspass at all if I have my wedding, would love to NC and live my best life.
Was about to say yes if it was JUST the phone issue, because she's 11, but she PHYSICALLY HARMED your 8 year old son, no you aren't the AH. You have to keep your own kid safe 😭😭
If the story this is connected to is real. It's really sad. Just leave the man. He'll figure it out or he won't. Neither of you being happy and cheating on each other isn't a good relationship
Well idk if she's the AH for not getting him a gift. I know some ppl don't care about that or it isn't their love language. Like his might be acts of service. Her making him breakfast could be his love language. But def NTA for goimg out alone. He wanted to relax and she wanted to go out. There's clearly an issue with the marriage though if you guys aren't making plans or even talking about the upcoming anniversary. I recommend couples counseling before it escalates.
ETA. She should have married her boyfriend. He should've gotten a job. And they both should have moved out before starting a family. Not going to college is a perfectly valid life choice. Mom is TA for trying to force abortion and then college when she clearly wants neither. Everyone needs to have some humility in this situation and those two need to grow up fast.
So he gave you a present, told you happy anniversary, you did nothing for him but on the other hand you wanted to go out and he said no, so I see nothing wrong that you went out but he deserved a present to, if you had time to buy things for yourself you could do simething for your hubby too, no AHs hear just bad communication.
How is it you have been married ten years and don't communicate enough to discuss anniversary plans prior to the actual day? No gift for him? No "Happy anniversary!" from you? No compassion for him having busted his ass the day before being on call? Yikes, woman.
Okay. Where does it say she fid not hive him a gift or respond to his HA greeting. And I agree they should have discussed the anniversary plans, but that's on BOTH of them.
YTA. He got you a gift. You didn't make any plans in advance you just assumed and sprang on him these plans. If you wanted to spend time with him you would have stayed and spent time with him but instead you took the gift and then took even more money to do some more selfish things. If you would have rather done some activity as a couple you should have communicated that in advance. Men who work just want to have a relaxing day, sleep in, spend time with their wife and kids on their days off no be dragged last minute on various random activities and also despite what women seem to think, men are not mind readers. We don't know you want x,y, and z unless you speak up. Lastly you never mentioned getting him a gift, unless the alone time from your entitlement was the gift, because waking someone up early for breakfast that they don't get to eat is not a gift. Women like this are why men should get the kids in the divorce and not the women. She'll use all the child support on spa days and fancy purses for herself.
I have to agree with all the comments. You really didn't do all that much. You didn't get him a gift by your own words. You didn't do much else. He said he wanted to relax. He's been working all the time as you had said. This means relaxing for him. It's probably springtime with you and your family, so that you're all together. He says Happy Anniversary. You don't say anything back what you did. He didn't mention it. Yes you are ruin the wrong
... Why didn't you just tell him you wanted to do something together? Then, if he doesn't want to, then you can SAY you're going to go do something by yourself...like you didnt even tell the man...by that alone, yes YTA
Did nothing for him but yet complain about him doing nothing for you. At least he got you something. All you did was eat the breakfast you made for him.
Son, you need to invest in some condoms. 4 is plenty to be going on with. Parenting is one of the hardest and most rewarding choices you can make. Most people don't get it until they have kids themselves and even parents find out different children need a different approach. If you do your best, let your kids know you love them and make sure everyone keeps their hands to themselves..... it's ok if the house is messy sometimes, if you have a picnic dinner once a week to use up leftovers or if they watch the same Disney film 3 times in one day every now and then. The world will still turn. On the plus side, your children are already better at socialising and negotiation than many kids because they have siblings near in age. I'm old now but I remember my grandmother telling me parents were being blamed for allowing kids to listen to too much radio, my mother's generation were warned about danger of Tv, my generation of VCRs, my daughters about computers, my older grandchildren about mobile phones and iPads are what my eldest granddaughter is being warned about in relation to her little ones. Ignore the unsolicited advice. If you have a family member who helps out regularly, can be trusted to babysit and offers to do so and they bring up something then do listen. It's very easy to get defensive about our children and how we're raising them but it can be helpful to get a different perspective from someone who spends time them, knows them, loves them and wants the best for all of you 😊 by the way, I'm not being judgemental in advising you to get condoms. It's just that I know how much more stressful it is to have a houseful of teenagers than a houseful of toddlers
Paragraph time - I(23F) have a biological brother (24) and an adopted sister (27).She was adopted when I was a year old and she was around 4. For most of my life, my sister received all the attention from our parents and my brother and I were just there. My parents would bend over backwards to make sure she felt like a part of the family, which is great, except they didn't bother to make my brother and I feel included. When she was 19, we found her biological family and they have a great relationship now. But I feel like this completely ruined our own family dynamic. Our dad died 5 years ago, and it seems like she just moved on from our dad to the other dad and is also slowly moving on from our family to her biological family. Her biological mums side also seems to have a problem with us because we are white and my sister is black so everytime we try to be involved in activities, there are always jabs at us and I think they encourage her to become distant from us. My mum still acts like my sister is the centre of our world though. The last two Thanksgivings, we had to have family Thanksgiving dinner days before because my sister was going to have Thanksgiving with her bio family. Same for the previous Christmas, we exchanged gifts by the 20th, and my sister didn't even bring my nephew as he was at his bio grandma's. My final straw has been a trip we had been planning in honour of my dad. On the 5 year anniversary of his passing, we were going to plant an orchard in a certain African country my dad worked and lived in for years and we visited many times. Planting this was something my dad had planned before he died and had it planned to a T, so we would only be executing his plan. We had agreed that the 5 year anniversary felt like the perfect time. Except now, my sister's biological sister will be getting married around the same time ( not same day), but it means my sister can only join us after the actual anniversary day. My mum says it's okay, we can plant the trees a week or two later, and she actually said that when we plant the trees doesn't make much difference we'll still be honoring him, but that my sister will only ever get to attend her sister's wedding once. She says it's a week's worth of work anyway, so it's not like we were going to be done on the actual day. This made me mad and I have told them I will be breaking the ground on the actual anniversary day with or without any of them. She said I was being inconsiderate and that I should think about how this will make my sister feel like she doesn't matter to the family. My sister has been part of our family the same amount of time I have been , only she can exclude herself. My brother keeps flip-floping between coming with me to be there for the anniversary, or waiting for my mum and sister some days later and I honestly can't also blame him. AITA for insisting I am not waiting on anyone? The trip is in 2 months.
The rest of the story-I asked if he had any plans for the day, and he said "To relax." I wanted to maybe go to a restaurant, or see a movie, or at least do something together, just me and him, and he said no. By then, I was a bit disheartened but I took his answer. About 20 mins later, I just dress up and head out with a warning about right then. I just treated myself to the spa, shopping, and stuff like that. When I got back (6 ish), he was with our kids and by the time they went to bed, he brought up the fact that I left, and asked why I did so. I told him it was because I wasn't just going to do nothing all day because he wanted to, and that he didn't even care enough to spend time WITH me, so it wouldn't be an issue that I spent time alone. He went quiet after that, and while we've talked over it since then, I'm posting here to see if my past actions were asshole-like or not.
A bit esh? Op asked what he wanted to do and what his plans were. He was honest "just relax." She didn't say "I'd like to go out with you." She didn't communicate anything of her expectations to him. Yes it would have been nice to have done something together. But he got her a gift, was the first to say "Happy anniversary." And she ate the breakfast she made for him because he wasn't up when she wanted him to be. And when he did actually get up, she made him do it himself. THEN she just left without explaining what she was feeling... so actually yah.. OP may be the AH.
@@barbiewhite7450She's grown and can say "hey i wanna do something" herself ?? Also, dude could be nd (not for sure but COULD be). Implications are harder for ppl with adhd/autism to pick up on, so she should have communicated. He did his part with communicating, she didn't, but they worked it out so no need to say he's a bad husband when she didn't even do anything for him on THEIR anniversary. It isn't just HER day, it's BOTH their day.
Reread. She clearly says he "said no" about going out. She did let him know what she wanted. She accepted his refusal w/ grace and enjoyed HER day the way she wanted.@gillibean.1075
