"Doctor basically said if I don't change my lifestyle and if I don't lose weight I'm more than likely to have a heart attack before I'm 30." Immediately thought *"BEFORE* you're 30..?!" and then he's like "I'm 26 years old..." Was his paper route the fucking 1916 Battle of the Somme?!
They kept calling it cream, but it was Elmlea - it's not cream and I don't understand why it exists. I can't imagine anyone buying it on purpose, surely their entire business is based on people mistakenly picking it up instead of cream. Ridiculously it's more expensive than cream! (Elmlea ingredients - Buttermilk, Vegetable Oils (Coconut, Rapeseed), Lactose, Emulsifiers (Soya Lecithin, Sucrose Esters of Fatty Acids), Stabilizers (Xanthan Gum, Locust Bean Gum, Carrageenan), Colour (Carotenes))