내게는 고통밖에 없습니다. 그것말고는 아무것도 바라지않습니다. 고통은 내게 충실했고 지금도 변함없습니다. 내 영혼이 심연의 바닥을 헤맬 때에도 고통은 늘 곁에 앉아 날 지켜주었으니 어떻게 고통을 원망하겠습니까. 아 고통이여 너는 결코 내곁에서 떠나지 않겠기에 나는 마침내 너를 존경하기에 이르렀다. 나는 이제 너를 알겠다. 너는 존재하는 것만으로도 아름답다는 것을. 너는 가난한 내 마음의 화롯가를 결코 떠나지 않았던 사람을 닮았다. 나의 고통이여 너는 더 없이 사랑하는 연인보다 다정하다. 나는 알고 있나니 내가 죽음의 자리에 드는 날에도 너는 내 마음속으로 깊이들어와 나와 함께 가지런히 누우리라.
Patron librarians when they get furiosoed for the 9292830202202 time (They have looked one by one and the pages reminds them roland will be always a villain)
Коструба тебе разрешил использовать музыку или ему просто все равно? Хотел тоже его шедеврами воспользоваться, но не могу понять, какая там лицензия и где купить права (нигде?).
I could put up with it all just for this moment… I’ve come this far so I can make her suffer the same… No, to bring her even more pain than what I’ve suffered. I don’t exactly believe there’s happiness waiting for me at the end of this… There’d only be empty regret. I’d get nothing out of it. But that’s still better than suffocating under these emotions that couldn’t be let out, isn’t it? I just want to be able to breathe for a second. You’ve got your causes to fight for. Don’t hold back. Few things could be more agonizing and detestable than finding a common ground between each other’s goals. Angela. Your pain and loss will be much greater than mine… …Alright. Let’s get started. The past isn’t all that different from now… Nothing ever changes… The same kinds of tragedies happen time and time again… Everyone knows that it’s wrong… But they can’t stop it from repeating… How many people do you think are sacrificed for the convenience and happiness of others…? The City’s prosperity is fueled by the lives of others… And its people stick their heads below the parapet and carry on… There’s no other way to survive in this damned place… We all know that it’s pointless to reflect on ourselves and think things over… You wouldn’t want to care… You’d want to turn a blind eye! Because that’s none of your business… Right. That’s none of your business. Because your life would be a bit more comfortable if you just closed your eyes and turned away… They give no ear to the pain of other people… Taking care of themselves is already hard enough… I hate this City for forcing us to be like this… And I’m horrified and disgusted at myself for partaking in its filthy business… But-that’s that, and this is this… I can’t just sit and watch as my happiness goes down the drain… My life is far from a clean one, but still… I hadn’t done anything to earn anyone’s grudge… What I cannot do is own her heart. Instead, my graceful love stole my heart and left me with lone hardship. I can’t help but love the pain which fills the void of solitude. Because I could look ahead thanks to you. But now, the wonderful scenery we used to watch together lay behind me… In this instant, I look back again. My eyes fixated on the most painful yet beautiful moments. Those moments I can only view from afar, as I can’t dare approach them. As I cleared the filth obstructing my view, it piled up on the path to the way forward… I don’t think I can face the growing mountain in front of me squarely. If I tried to confront it… I might be buried under mounds of resentment and suffering from others. I’m not sad about it, though. I don’t think it’s a shame that I can’t move on. To leave you behind in the past and move forward alone would be my greatest pain. I had only one option, then. To be able to gaze at paradise forever… I should move all which blocks that sight out of the way. If I beheaded my nightmare, I might feel good for a moment. I had been bearing with this shit until now to experience this small victory… If I were to gouge out this pain, would I be able to accept that it’s over? If I neglected this choice I’ve been given, wouldn’t it… find a way to me in some other form eventually? I thought it’d all be over once I could accomplish this dream of vengeance. I had a reason I couldn’t give up… I told myself that this was for me… That it’s only fair for me to destroy this place for taking the one I cherished away. Even if no one understood me… At least I would be able to understand myself. Deeper into the darkest depths. Fate made my heart cruel. The paradise I only got to step in once… What did I do for it to be stolen from me so ruthlessly? Time stood still for me ever since that day. All I can see now is the life of the past, shrouded in darkness. But if I forgave everything… If I decided to live down my past now, I felt I might have nowhere to stand. And I felt I might have to let go of all these precious memories of it. That’s what really scares me, Angelica.
Fun fact. If you listen closely to the song, you might hear faint clicking sound that sounds like gun reloading. Idk if it's an easter egg or my schizophrenia. You can hear it clearly on 0:39
"I have nothing but my sorrow... And I want nothing more. It has been, it still is, faithful to me. Why should I begrudge it, since during the hours...- When my soul crushed the depths of my heart, it was seated there beside me? O' sorrow, I have ended, you see, by respecting you, because I am certain you will never leave me. 'Ah!' I realize it: Your beauty lies in the force of your being. You are like those who never left the sad fireside corner of my poor black heart. O' my sorrow, you are better than a well-beloved: Because I know that on the day of my final agony, you will be there, lying in my sheets, O' sorrow... So that you might once again attempt to enter my heart."
나에게는 슬픔밖에 없고 더 이상 바라는 것도 없습니다. 그것은 나에게 충실했고 지금도 그렇습니다. 내 영혼이 내 마음 깊은 곳을 짓밟았을 때 내 옆에 자리잡고 있었는데, 왜 내가 그것을 애원해야 합니까? 오 슬픔이여, 나는 당신을 존경하는 것으로 끝났습니다. 당신이 결코 나를 떠나지 않을 것이라고 확신하기 때문입니다. 아, 나는 깨달았습니다. 당신의 아름다움은 당신 존재의 힘에 달려 있다는 것입니다. 오 슬픔이여, 나의 마지막 고뇌의 날에 당신이 거기 내 이불 속에 누워 계실 것이라는 것을 알기 때문입니다. 그리하여 당신이 다시 한 번 내 마음에 들어오려고 시도할 것입니다.
