Dr. Nicole LePera was trained in clinical psychology at Cornell University and the New School for Social Research and studied at the Philadelphia School of Psychoanalysis. She is a holistic psychologist whose work addresses the connection between the mind, body, and soul incorporating overall lifestyle and psychological wellness practices. She is the creator of the #SelfHealers movement where people from around the world are joining together in a community to take healing into their own hands.
As a clinical psychologist, Dr. LePera often found herself frustrated by the limitations of traditional psychotherapy. Wanting more for her patients-and for herself-she began a journey to develop a united philosophy of mental, physical, and spiritual wellness that equips people with the interdisciplinary tools necessary to heal themselves. After experiencing the life-changing results herself, she began to share what she’d learned with others-and soon “The Holistic Psychologist” was born.
Thank you as always Nicole for your videos! I’ve been finding your shorts, especially helpful recently for identifying what I’ve gone through, and I’m still in someways going through in my relationship with my mother. The last part on boundaries is still something I’m working through. I find that I’m somebody who is a hard worker and find joy in what I do, so I’m always considered first for things. But I’ve learned recently that I need to say no and put more work towards things I want to do, rather than people asking me for help last minute or because they know I’ll show up. The more I practice saying no and putting myself and my wants first, the easier it gets and the lighter I feel 😊
Great video as always! Thanks! All you said aplays to me but the lack of focus was a realy new and relevant information. This strughle creates a sort of dificulty in discover what we want and made me always learn and do things in a hurry like a busy mother, so I got the grades, but do not enjoy the process. I can't wait for your video about how to heal from this. Best wishes for you and your lovely daughther with her cute pinguim. All your videos help a lot.
This is me right now. I feel lazy. But I am so exhausted. And I feel so bad and guilty because so much is not getting done. And I don't know what else to do😢
Okay I hear you... we were told not to beat our kids because it was going to make them violent. Meanwhile, I just heard another story about a kid murdering their parent over a cell phone.
It is not always the oldest child who is put into that role. I am the youngest daughter, and I remember calming my panicking older sister, taking care of her, organising help with the neighbours, when my parents went out in the evening and left us alone. I remember that mother, father, and older sister confided in me their problems, asked me for solutions, and sent me to moderate situations with other family members. Nobody talked directly. I was somehow keeping up some kind of family communication. I was never allowed to have my own problems, or I was ridiculed and exposed, by my sister who hated that I existed, by my parents, who told me to behave more like my capable (5 years older!) sister. There was no safe place. I know that my sister was used as well as a caretaker of me when I was a toddler and I am sure it damaged a lot in her to have such overwhelming responsibility. Still, in an emotional way and in the way of expressing needs, I soon stepped back and was in the role of the person who was fine with everything and smiled even when emotionally tortured, who kept calm in chaotic situation, who was ready to cater to everyone around me, going back and forth between family members to keep the peace in the camp and that somehow life of everybody could work out. As a result I knew nothing about myself, not even if something personal of me even existed. I am over 40 now and still haven't found a loving partner in life as I am horribly susceptible to breadcrumbing. Healing and getting better every day, but still, it is a long process.
My mom used to say BS like this and I eventually started agreeing with her, “yes mom, that’s exactly what I said. You are an complete idiot and I’m constantly amazed that you can actually function on your own.”
This. Just this. Every single time something happens to me I’m afraid to tell my mum because I don’t know her how she’ll react. When I told her I was having some weird panic attack things -got mad at me saying I have nothing to be worrying about as I’m a kid Started smelling cuz ✨male puberty✨ and bad breath cuz tonsil stones- got mad at me and yelled at me Spots cuz puberty-you’re going to be bullied. Learned I wanted to end myself- proceeds to use that against me in arguments not even a year later about how it affected her as the school knew. Came out to her-…..sparked many many many many many conversations where she went off on me and talked about racism and how I’ll fail school or something, Made a lot of comments about not wanting a gay son, HIV, how my friend is her future daughter in law, ext Got a c - your failing school. Didn’t get perfect grades on my GCSE’s (my sister got all A*’s) - Guilted me for not getting better results as she had it worse. Came home wanting to shower- thought I had sex at school and wanted to check my underwear . It’s exhausting
Bro, it hurt so much when my depression and anxiety broke me, i was/am the "stable one" "the golden one" so when I broke down it felt like I was letting everyone down
I have a son who is ADHD and is really anxious and uncomfortable feelings really bother him. So if someone else is upset, he does this. He feels like it’s his job to make them feel better. Likea class clown. I can’t count the amount of times I’ve had to say to him, “It’s ok buddy, it’s not your job to make so and so feel better. They just have to have time to process their own emotions and make themselves feel better.” Even to me. I’m like mommy is just frustrated right now but it’s not your job to fix it, that’s on me. I have to remind him that people are allowed to have their feelings. He does it to everyone in the family. I even have to tell him to back off sometimes and let me be the parent (if it’s like his little brother or something). I’ve been told it’s cause he’s a middle child so he feels like he needs to be the family clown, but how do I get him to relax and not be like this? We’ve never treated him this way. My husband and I get along great. Very happily married. So i don’t know where it comes from. But he’s like terrified of anyone ever feeling the negative feelings.
When your parents are Boomer or older, you should expect this sort of thing. They (as well as Gen X and elder Millenials) were raised in the "children should be soon and not heard" as well as the "spare the rod, spoil the child" era. In short, they're overly emotional adults because they were emotionally repressed children, and the dam is broken.
Babies don't understand their parents hurting them, because they don't understand words. And kids old enough to understand words UNDERSTAND YOUR WORDS. Don't hit your children.
Confronting/arguing with parents only throws gasoline onto a fire. Its best to say less around them. If they ask you an inflammatory question, say “I don’t know.” With parents, its always good idea to play stupid. To them, you will always be the baby they had changed the diaper for…even if you go to the moon. Plus not all parents want the best for their children, but it always helps behaving with them regardless. This is only as a sign of respect to God -- not to them…
I wish people would talk about older siblings who wound up on the opposite side of the spectrum when it comes to parentification I know so many younger siblings (including myself) who were actively abused by their older siblings simply because they were older and put in charge and used that power to do whatever they wanted to their siblings. Whenever I describe what I went through growing up to someone but they think its about a boyfriend or my parents they're horrified But once I tell them it was my older sister it turns into "Sibling Rivalry" and its dismissed
