Eli Karam, Ph.D., LMFT is a relationship expert specializing in couple and family therapy and relationship education. This channel provides practical tips and toosl for individuals, couples, families, and mental health professionals.
just had to cut my son off did everything for him he borrows money doesn’t pay it back right away or at all and then when I see him in person he has the nerve to treat me terrible so I’m just done I wash my hands my son’s dead I have one child a daughter that’s the way I see it. No Therapist is ever gonna be able to help it. He’s got a change he’s got to do the work him him him. I do nothing. I’ve already done my job.
The child needs to smarten up if they don’t Don’t behave properly they’re cut off and they’re not gonna bother going to some therapist so that’s bad advice smarten up we would’ve never done this to our parents
What if the way the family has been treating the individual is the reason for the suicidal ideations is the origin of the "illness" or problems that are the root of childhood abuse and abuse throughout life within the family system? What if the individual is homeless and isolated, or really truly alone without caring support?
I wonder if ADHD marriages work out better when it's the female partner who has ADHD. Since men usually but not always are the leaders / more dominant partner, maybe it would be easier for men to tolerate having an ADHD partner. This power differential allows them to be a hero/provider, etc... if this is true, then it may be that Mrs. Orlov would not have as many clients come to her for help where it's the woman who has ADHD and not the husband, because they experience less marital dissatisfaction. I don't have any research to back this up, just a theory
Thank you I took a course at Cambridge College. Your book did help me after I was away from my family of 6 adult children for 20 years came back..Your book was my guide. Merci beaucoup..now I retired I am reading the book one more time for the S of my two children as a divorced mother since 1994...merci..
Adult children can't deal with correction.... when it comes from a parent... they want you to accept them as still little children...as far as their behavior... they want you to see them as adults...but behave like kids...in their thinking and action.... they are not loyalty to you but loyalty to the outside world and consider that love......no parent is perfect.... parents want the best for their children and corrects them when they see they are constantly distroying their lives... they stuck on "you can't tell me what to do!"... they don't have team work skills.. don't have comprehension skills... don't have problem solving skills... don't know how to compromise... don't have listening skills... and a whole lot of adult skills... when they don't have these basic skills.. you can see why it's easier for them to not be a part of your life... these skills are needed for the outside world... and they no when to use them...but they don't use them for you when communicating with them.... they can't see the love in anything you say or do for them... they focus on parents wrongs....not the good... they still holding on to some past hurt from something you didn't do right... they need to grow up and put shit in the past and move on like when you get fired from a job or get evicted....if you can't appreciate your parents for their wisdom and knowledge if you have these types of parents... you better off cutting ties with these ungrateful adult kids.they will always need you...but they will let their pride get in the way first before coming to you so they can hold onto the blame game 😥
I bet this mom tried to stay involved with her daughter. The daughter has a right to move on and not be controlled by their mom anymore! Move on mom, let her live her life!
Some adult children who are elevated in importance by their parents turn out to be entitled abusers themselves. No parent should stand for the contempt of their adult children. No person should stand for the contempt of another person. This attitude that children are always right is crap. If you let them walk all over you, then don't be surprised if they treat you like a doormat. I was too late establishing boundaries with my adult daughter. I adored her and kept her on a pedestal until she broke my heart with her cruelty. No regrets letting her go. She knows the door is open if she can bring some respect into the conversation.
REALLY 🙀🙀🙀 what mother cuts ties with her child. Work on yourself as the older person and find a way to get along with her. Go read Dale Carniegie’s book “How to win friends and influence people”.
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The caller did not give any information... so I can't comment. I came here to see if I should be cutting off my adult son.... from girls sleeping here, to him not paying me back, to him stealing and constantly lying to everyone...
Just saw your comment and as someone who's adult child takes advantage of my kindness actually I'd say expects it there is nothing wrong with healthy boundaries if it's your home and it makes you uncomfortable tell him it needs to stop, do not lend money to someone that won't pay it back your not an ATM and you wouldn't do it for any other adult if your child is an adult I'd lay it all out and say these are the rules of you living here as an adult if you don't like them feel free to get your own place.
@@violetl.4615 In order to protect myself from predatory Family Courts and Health and Human Services. With no contact, they can't accuse me of anything, so I am more secure.
Sounds like a Narcissistic daughter to me. But butt hurt adult children would try & blame the mother, than look at the poor behaviour the daughter displays. When you’re all perfect parents of adult children, then come back here.
This mother, who has 4 other adult children, that don’t give her grief, but speaks up about her daughter, who constantly causes drama within the family & makes it a battlefield, is straight away judged as have NPD & being abusive. Most of the viewers who have said that, aren’t parents of children who want to be troublemakers & always create drama & unrest. Guaranteed. Look in the mirror judge yourself. You don’t know this mother or her family so just shut up. Parenting is the hardest job on earth, no training or schooling to be one but when a child is disruptive & causes drama, the mother is the one blamed, not the bitch of a daughter... oh please... grow a brain. Parenthood is the most unappreciated job on earth, but also the most disrespected job. That’s the thanks for sleepless nights, carrying a baby & having stretch marks & other body changes that are irreversible, taking the child to activities/kindergarten/school/birthday parties/friends etc, worrying when their child is out with friend & if they’ll make it home safe, worrying when they get their car licence, worry about their health/wellbeing, guide then along the right path in life so they can be the best version of themselves. And then when the adult child behaves badly, it’s the mother’s fault. I doubt it very much. Her daughter is just rebellious & immature & just thrives off being a drama queen. End of story.
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Sounds like the mother is an NPD and blaming her kids. "The rules are the rules, ever since theyve been born"----yeah, her sadistic rules. I will bet my life, the daughter cut ties to escape the abuse. Please dont tell people that cutting off relationships should always be avoided. The affects of the abuse from NPD's, is lifelong. And the NPD derives their pleasure from it; meanwhile their victims live never being able to accept love from anyone because they were never shown it as babies/children and were actually taught by their parent that they are nothing.
Anon Another disgruntled estranged adult children that wants to tear the mother apart, without knowing how the estranged daughter behaved. The job of a parent without any training, is the hardest job of all. The daughter isn’t perfect & has made mistakes. But she doesn’t want to love her mother unconditionally. You catch more flies with honey not vinegar.
@@lasagnegurl167 You're correct but that still doesn't change the fact that there's damage between the 2 both have the right to walk away doesn't matter who's wrong and who's right
Maybe I finally understand why my Friend keeps interrupting me mid sentence, but I still don't really understand how to deal with it ? If all he wants is to get his thoughts out I kinda have to let him interrupt me? How do I deal with it ? Just let him get his thought out, wait the few seconds and go on with whatever I was conversating? Because to me it seems he not only interrupts me but also himself in listening because I pretty much always have to start over completely or he has not even an idea what im talking about or isn't even listening at all.
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Let me see if I have this straight, a mother calls in and says she had to cut her daughter off because it feels like they're in an emotional battle, but gives no specifics as to what that emotional battle is even about? There is NO REASON for a mother to cut her child off unless that child is being abusive to the parent in some way. SHE GIVES NO EXAMPLES OF THIS and just claims that they don't get along and it's exhausting for her. Sounds like someone doesn't want to be accountable to their child's feelings and is deciding to put the onus of the success of their relationship completely on the child. The caller should have been asked for specifics about the situation, but was instead coddled and affirmed in her selfish, childish, and cruel decision to cut emotional ties with her own child "because they don't get along." MONSTROUS.
When you have a adult child that you have a strained relationship with, then you have some experience on estrangement. Don't judge what you know nothing about.
If the child is a threat to health and safety that's one thing... but I heard nothing to suggest that was the case. Why would you assume I know nothing about it? Because you disagree? What's not to harshly judge about a parent who would sever ties with their child and OFFER ABSOLUTELY NO SPECIFICS ABOUT WHY. Family relationships form the social foundation for the mental health our nation, and I understand that many people, likely including you, are too self-involved to put in any work to fix things because "it's difficult," but at best, it's naive and selfish to think that the MOST IMPORTANT thing is that life be easy for you, whatever the cost to others. What you in fact do is place the very real social burden of parental estrangement on the child so things can be easy for you. How nice. Aren't you just so very special.
Sounds like the mom is a narc to me and the estranged daughter is the black sheep. I can't believe these people in the video seem to be supporting the mom.
How upsetting a parent could be blessed with kids, she doesn't deserve to be a parent. That mom sounds like she is proud the other family members have pretty much left that daughter (all but 1). That's even worse, a mother should try to keep her kids together not estranged from one another. I think any mom to give up or walk away is sick and twisted woman. Never in my life will I walk away from my kids. Also "Bull" to that 1 announcer at the end, there was not real hurt in that mother's voice. Whining and complaining is all that demented mom seemed to do during this call. Dang, now I am ticked after watching this - by mistake of all things.
Six Million Dollar Gas Bill Yet if the daughter did this to her mother, you guys are the first to make excuses and validate her decision. Because to most people in the west.. parents don't have rights, only obligations, and only the child have rights.
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