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damion perez
damion perez
damion perez
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@Dr_Kyutoko
@Dr_Kyutoko 2 месяца назад
NO PROOF OF PURCHASE!!
@disqorddoge1101
@disqorddoge1101 Год назад
Oh for sure dude. What else was people going to steal way back then? All they had was food, drink, livestock, and furniture. Poor useless dudes were always sneaking into farms at night to snatch some corn and milk up a bucket of cream. I imagine it was pretty common during the depression too.
@t19_toby35
@t19_toby35 Год назад
This aged well lmao.
@caesarprice3252
@caesarprice3252 Год назад
The cow will take half of your stuff buddy. Free milk is free milk.
@TheY2AProblem
@TheY2AProblem Год назад
“I’m getting milk once a week!” “Once a week? I’m getting milk one a month!” Me: You guys are getting milk?
@jameshiler7830
@jameshiler7830 Год назад
John mulaney's cow was doing everything thing he wanted. He went crazy and started fucking a new cow.
@1cont
@1cont Год назад
Ask a single mother. They know it's a true statement.
@lindsayhengehold5341
@lindsayhengehold5341 Год назад
My point exactly!
@ortezchambliss3189
@ortezchambliss3189 Год назад
In the SOUTH the saying is DIFFERENT. Why buy the COW when you can just BUY the milk? Meaning why go through all the TROUBLE of getting up early in the MORNING, going out to the BARN, getting the bucket & stool getting UNDER the COW and MILKING when you can DRIVE DOWN TO THE SUPERMARKET and buy it for $3-$4 without ALL THE DRAMA AND HEADACHES. So that’s my take on my CURRENT SITUATION!!! If you have the financial resources and means WHY BUY THE COW? No headaches……. I’m just saying?
@androidaxolotl8311
@androidaxolotl8311 Год назад
I don't judge whether you like cows or bulls or even both. I don't care. If you are grown up and want to buy a baby cow, then that's a problem.
@Dragon-Slay3r
@Dragon-Slay3r Год назад
To eat it
@lidory98
@lidory98 2 года назад
which one of his standups got this joke in it? on netflix?
@hankisgay
@hankisgay 2 года назад
It’s from the comeback kid
@johnmaclean2919
@johnmaclean2919 2 года назад
I'm waiting for farmer John to explain how he got rid of his cow and then he got a new cow and then a calf come along,should be Funny episode in the life of farmer John Mulaney recovering milk addict.
@axshman6914
@axshman6914 2 года назад
Why marry a whore when you can already fuck her as you please
@alexeiramos1682
@alexeiramos1682 2 года назад
I can’t watch this anymore without thinking about his ex wife ;-; I hope she’s ok must have been a hell of a time for her
@BHRamsay
@BHRamsay 9 месяцев назад
Apparently they're still friends enough that she's happy he's getting his shit together
@tomwalling5796
@tomwalling5796 2 года назад
I bought a cow once. Not much of a milk producer. 15 years later it burned down the ranch and moseyed off. Guess ranching ain’t my thing. Meh… milk’s overrated anyway. Maybe I’ll just be a wandering bard.
@annhitchcock3093
@annhitchcock3093 2 года назад
Please expect to be kicked next time you try to “ milk” it. Actually, my Grandmother tried to tell me this story when I was already pregnant. Bad timing, woman.
@d___c____5604
@d___c____5604 2 года назад
I was literally in TEARS the first time I heard this bit.
@xlr8442
@xlr8442 2 года назад
Why buy the cow (marry a girl) when you can get the milk for free ( jerk off)
@tayeb7031
@tayeb7031 Год назад
jerking off is not satisfying, i need the emotional connection and intimacy not just orgasms
@SamuelSmith2024
@SamuelSmith2024 4 месяца назад
iTs nOt ThE SaME ThINg Jerking is less pleasurable
@moraymarodriguez5126
@moraymarodriguez5126 2 года назад
I don't know why... But I keep seeing a well meaning but lovably obnoxious character saying all of this to Superman in an attempt to help him move forward with Lois. And someone in the Bat family despretly trying not to laugh in the background. Probably because Clark is a farm boy and the irony isn't lost on them.
@VanNessy97
@VanNessy97 2 года назад
New phrase: Why buy the NFT when you can get the photo for free?
@alecwhitmore3722
@alecwhitmore3722 2 года назад
This is literally the plot to First Cow.
@obsceniities
@obsceniities 2 года назад
This is one of his best bits
@jerseygurl63
@jerseygurl63 2 года назад
This hits different now
@thomasmendez1843
@thomasmendez1843 2 года назад
This man just pregnated a cow after leaving his wife recently lol
@ashlovesbats
@ashlovesbats 2 года назад
Actually Oliva was pregnant before he even said he wanted to divorce his ex wife
@goldrush18x
@goldrush18x Год назад
@@ashlovesbats they separated in October of 2020 and he started dating Olivia around Feb-March of 2021. I’m sick of this false cheating narrative. He was single and free to date whoever he wanted.
@sinjinreed2091
@sinjinreed2091 2 года назад
... And then they divorced.
@dct124
@dct124 2 года назад
Lol, reminds me of Patrice O'Neal fish analogy
@breadeater1194
@breadeater1194 3 года назад
Update: John Mulaney has started milking a new cow and hasn't stated any intentions to buy the cow. This is somewhat understandable, as he just took his old cow back to the market. Having milked this cow for much less time, buying this new cow so quickly might further upset his old cow. He might also still be the kind of guy who takes a while to decide when he wants to buy the cow he's milking. All that said, the question of purchase is still relevant, because John is using the milk from his new cow to create a wheel of cheese, a project that takes a greater scope of commitment than anything he and his previous cow had planned on.
@VanNessy97
@VanNessy97 2 года назад
I love the way this comment adds on to the analogy
@beaq6755
@beaq6755 2 года назад
Amazing
@chrisp2439
@chrisp2439 2 года назад
way too much time on one's hands to extend the analogy that far
@janaethomas1163
@janaethomas1163 2 года назад
he bought the cow and they now have calf’s
@JENNIFAFAA
@JENNIFAFAA 3 года назад
Ugh the ending hurts now
@elefantefresa1059
@elefantefresa1059 3 года назад
he forgot the part where he sells his cow and gets a new one pregnant 9 months later
@Dragon-Slay3r
@Dragon-Slay3r Год назад
Nice
@sergiogomez8086
@sergiogomez8086 Год назад
😂😂
@andmicbro1
@andmicbro1 7 месяцев назад
Hey now, spoilers! That hadn't happened yet.
@rounakmeyur9217
@rounakmeyur9217 3 года назад
I want a follow up set Why sell the cow you have bought and milking for 7 years?
@dlxmarks
@dlxmarks 3 года назад
And having a calf with another cow that he doesn't own.
@1cont
@1cont Год назад
The milk stopped flowing. The cow was replaced Word to the wise cows: Give good milk
@edwardheaney3641
@edwardheaney3641 3 года назад
aaaaaAAAAAAND now he's divorced. Hindsight is always a lovely thing.
@dannymunagvin
@dannymunagvin 3 года назад
This didnt age well (they broke up)
@shruthibaskar1647
@shruthibaskar1647 2 года назад
Just like the milk 🥛
@robinwsc
@robinwsc 3 года назад
this is so much more real post-divorce
@lovingiseasy-4342
@lovingiseasy-4342 3 года назад
“John Mulaney bull?” IS MY FAVOURITE THING
@cedeelbe
@cedeelbe 3 года назад
this hits different now that they're getting divorced
@Monamiinx
@Monamiinx 3 года назад
THEY WHAT
@Monamiinx
@Monamiinx 3 года назад
@Endless Fanfare AW I HAD NO IDEA THATS ACTUALLY HORRIBLE I WISH THEM BOTH THE BEST
@breadeater1194
@breadeater1194 3 года назад
@@Monamiinx He's having a kid now. It's intense.
@dlxmarks
@dlxmarks 3 года назад
@@breadeater1194 His real estate agent is thrilled by the baby though.
@androidaxolotl8311
@androidaxolotl8311 Год назад
@@dlxmarks "this is an on-fire garbage can." "Could be a nursery."
@virgiljericho664
@virgiljericho664 3 года назад
Now he has sold the cow
@targetseeker
@targetseeker 2 года назад
Oh Barry what have you done this time?
@s-o-tariknomad6970
@s-o-tariknomad6970 3 года назад
These jokes have been recontextualised by recent events
@bassettehound
@bassettehound 3 года назад
Recent events?
@s-o-tariknomad6970
@s-o-tariknomad6970 3 года назад
@@bassettehound he got Divorced
@Nachoza
@Nachoza 3 года назад
:(
@dlxmarks
@dlxmarks 3 года назад
@@bassettehound And got Olivia Munn pregnant. He's had a busy 2021.
@c4rlomng
@c4rlomng 3 года назад
who's here after the divorce news :---(
@maximilianomadrigal6661
@maximilianomadrigal6661 3 года назад
The whole clip has an entirely new meaning now 😂
@alejandromariscal-salazar2713
@alejandromariscal-salazar2713 3 года назад
This did not age well.
@elliotreeves7579
@elliotreeves7579 11 месяцев назад
How come?
@maximilianomadrigal6661
@maximilianomadrigal6661 3 месяца назад
Because he sold his old cow and then had a calf with the new cow he started milking right after, and some people think he stated milking the new cow before he sold the old cow.
@montycampbell1228
@montycampbell1228 3 года назад
Hilarious isn’t even the situation, this I performed perfectly.
@ladyvincenza
@ladyvincenza 3 года назад
Moo.
@evilwolf72
@evilwolf72 3 года назад
I’ve heard this skit so many times. And now 4 years into a relationship and now I’m like “omg I am this cow now.”
@ellenmarch3095
@ellenmarch3095 2 года назад
Moo!!
@thomasmendez1843
@thomasmendez1843 2 года назад
Lmao moo
@karaokeandrandomclips
@karaokeandrandomclips 2 года назад
So are you married yet?
@evilwolf72
@evilwolf72 2 года назад
@@karaokeandrandomclips DUDE, I ACTUALLY AM!! As of march! The now husband proposed back in February. Had a courthouse wedding since we poor. So I can officially say I am a bought cow 😂🤣😂
@karaokeandrandomclips
@karaokeandrandomclips 2 года назад
@@evilwolf72 Congratulations on getting off the market! Lol
@evanricheson1630
@evanricheson1630 3 года назад
That sounded dutch right
@destineecrystal_
@destineecrystal_ 3 года назад
“Roping in cows & getting milk outta them was never anything you were known for, JOHN..” 😭
@jonathankeith6971
@jonathankeith6971 3 года назад
“By the most liberal of estimates, there have been about 8 cows total. Several of them unmilked!”
@ladyvincenza
@ladyvincenza 3 года назад
My favorite part, too. The delivery of "JOHN"
@georgiakatherine133
@georgiakatherine133 3 года назад
noo no proof of purchase
@misan2002
@misan2002 3 года назад
Its not the same without his body expressions
@SavageGreywolf
@SavageGreywolf 3 года назад
I like how John Mulaney took this old saying and turned it into an excuse to call his SO a cow for three minutes.
@J.Blazer
@J.Blazer 3 года назад
"And your cow looks over at you the whole time like 'mmmmmMRRROOOOOAAAUUGGGHHHH!'."
@BOb-lu3pc
@BOb-lu3pc 3 года назад
Man I am just now getting this joke