In 3 days complete 1 year my Mom decided to leave... and we never said sorry to each other. I abandoned her when she needed me the most. She was having heart issues after a heart attack, and decided not to treat it. We are brazilians but I live in Germany. I went to Brazil to take care of her when I saw things were getting realy worst. She said she would accept treatment because I was there, but when was the time, she changed her mind back, and decided to just "let it happen". We had a huge argument, I said I couldn't come back to Germany seeing she giving up on life like this (I needed to be back after her surgery was succeeded because of my job and pets). I was begging her to fight. She said "then go back. I don't need your opinion". I came back. I was so angry. I was so desperate. I was acting without thinking. I was so worried. And she died. And I never said sorry. I feel she gave up on life, and I wasn't there for her, knowing it would happen. I just acted by rage... I discovered this song right now, even tho it's very old. It's making me cry so much... and I really hope nobody have to live with this nightmare of pain and guilt I'm living for the last year.
My mother passed away in July to cancer, it’s so strange that we smile at them while they go. I never thought of it as dishonest but it is. Really makes me think hard about her last moments. I’ve always loved this band even with the new stuff that is much calmer. One of the few bands who changed styles but remained amazing. Great to know Baltimore produced a band as good as this.
And I miss home And I miss the closets, the windows, the hallways And when we are gone who will keep up the garden? Like a mother calling her boy I am, I am so unsafe But she can't do it alone But there's nothing stronger than her prayers Nothing stronger than the smell of reds My fathers reds Under bridges waiting to look forward Waiting for rushes ends Living in the moment is the homeless mantra They know the busiest streets All we have, all we have All we have is letting sleeping dogs lay All we have, all we have All we have is letting sleeping dogs lay Your face lit up and for once and I enjoyed where I was The truth is jade plants die and the truth is muscles atrophy Softening your skin and hardening mine I don't know where to begin I've thought about this day so much and thought of so many things I've wanted to say now But now I can only look at you like the pictures I spend hours staring at I don't think I've ever smiled so wide as when you were holding me up I was given a picture the other day of a past birthday We were together on our back deck I remember You were covered in powdered sugar from the donuts you were eating I've always loved watching you smile Do you remember the mornings when we woke up early to ride bicycles to on the board walk? Or the night before my first homecoming when you taught me how to dance? Yes I remember I hope she appreciated all my hard work I wish I had a different story to tell I seem I have drifted fairly far away from what you taught me You were always the indecipherable I'll admit there hasn't been much to smile about since Since you left I didn't leave I fought for five years to stay at your side What do you remember about that night? I remember a family that loved their wife and mother very much How can you say that? We were liars We clung to those songs like we so desperately wanted to cling to you Then I don't think you heard the same song I did You had to know I was lying You had to know how much I hated myself for smiling like a fool For spending our last few minutes together deceiving you Matthew your smile on the face of your greatest fear was the greatest gift a mother has ever received from her child I miss you I know Everyone cares and very eye carelessly tiptoes around you Watching you They'll wear black ties and as they applaud I'll count claps like the fig tree the master cursed the arms that gave us life Take so much more I'll count claps like the fig tree the master cursed the arms that gave us life Take so much more
Letra 😁: And I miss home And I miss the closets, the windows, the hallways And when we are gone who will keep up the garden? Like a mother calling her boy I am, I am so unsafe But she can't do it alone But there's nothing stronger than her prayers Nothing stronger than the smell of reds My fathers reds Under bridges waiting to look forward Waiting for rushes ends Living in the moment is the homeless mantra They know the busiest streets All we have, all we have All we have is letting sleeping dogs lay All we have, all we have All we have is letting sleeping dogs lay Your face lit up and for once and I enjoyed where I was The truth is jade plants die and the truth is muscles atrophy Softening your skin and hardening mine I don't know where to begin I've thought about this day so much and thought of so many things I've wanted to say now But now I can only look at you like the pictures I spend hours staring at I don't think I've ever smiled so wide as when you were holding me up I was given a picture the other day of a past birthday We were together on our back deck I remember You were covered in powdered sugar from the donuts you were eating I've always loved watching you smile Do you remember the mornings when we woke up early to ride bicycles to on the board walk? Or the night before my first homecoming when you taught me how to dance? Yes I remember I hope she appreciated all my hard work I wish I had a different story to tell I seem I have drifted fairly far away from what you taught me You were always the indecipherable I'll admit there hasn't been much to smile about since Since you left I didn't leave I fought for five years to stay at your side What do you remember about that night? I remember a family that loved their wife and mother very much How can you say that? We were liars We clung to those songs like we so desperately wanted to cling to you Then I don't think you heard the same song I did You had to know I was lying You had to know how much I hated myself for smiling like a fool For spending our last few minutes together deceiving you Matthew your smile on the face of your greatest fear was the greatest gift a mother has ever received from her child I miss you I know Everyone cares and very eye carelessly tiptoes around you Watching you They'll wear black ties and as they applaud I'll count claps like the fig tree the master cursed the arms that gave us life Take so much more I'll count claps like the fig tree the master cursed the arms that gave us life Take so much more
Sekarang aku menginjak usia dewasa, dan ini semua tidak begitu mudah ku jalani. Keluarga ku masih lengkap, saudara / saudari, ayah dan ibuku masih ada. Akan tetapi ini semua terasa begitu sepi, karena ibu dan juga kakak perempuanku mereka berdua telah terkena penyakit mental. Ibuku menderita sudah belasan tahun, dan kakak perempuanku menderita telah beberapa tahun. Terkadang aku merenung dikala sendiri di pertengahan malam hari, aku selalu berharap mereka berdua bisa kembali seperti sedia kala. Aku tidak mau menyerah, dan aku ingin selalu bisa setiap saat menemani mereka (keluargaku) dalam keadaan apapun. Aku bekerja dari usia ku 17 tahun hanya untuk diriku sendiri dan juga untuk keluargaku, hingga saat ini usiaku 24 tahun. Memang aku masih mempunyai seorang ayah yang seharusnya bekerja keras untuk mencukupi kebutuhan di rumah, akan tetapi beliau kini sedang tidak mempunyai pekerjaan, tetapi beliau juga tidak hanya cuma diam saja dirumah, beliau tetap berusaha mencari pekerjaan sementara. Kini, disini aku bercerita seperti ini bukan berharap untuk mendapatkan perhatian atau belas kasihan dari orang lain, hanya saja aku bingung menceritakan ini semua pada siapa. Dengan bercerita disini seperti ini, aku akan merasa sedikit lega. Itulah tujuanku menceritakan ini disini.
