I'm mental, but that doesn't mean I have no sense of humour.
Hi, I'm Peter, I'm vlogging about what it's like to be depressed. Trying hard to capture all the good stuff happening in between two suicidal thoughts.
Aw, thank's, super nice you're asking! I'm alive and well! It took me some time to get everything sorted. I'll explain more fully soon. There's actually new content and updates coming, probably towards the end of the weekend or by the beginning of next week.
Hope you are still around..just found this You Tube clip. There is an afterlife, but you don’t believe that...however, it is better to be heard and stay alive to find out if that is really true right? Yes! It is.
:D Thanks, that's mighty nice! I'm alive and probably better than I've been in a long time! There'll be new content soon, probably towards the end of the weekend or by the beginning of next week, and I'll eventually pick this up and explain more fully!
Sorry for not responding earlier. It took me a good bit of time to get my life sorted. But, despite the pandemic, I'm in a rather good place at the moment. There'll be new content coming soon, I'm guessing towards the end of the weekend or by the beginning of next week. And I'll sit down and explain what happened the past four years soon :)
Danke für Dein grundsätzliches Interesse. Mir ist klar, dass Depression als Krankheit schlecht nachvollziehbar ist - schau Dir doch die älteren VLOGs an, da erkläre ich die Symptomatik und das Prozedere, vom Anschreiben über die Warteliste bis hin zum Klinikaufenthalt, ausführlicher. Der VLOG mit dem zweiten Teil der letzten Woche hat übrigens bessere Nachrichten: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-psXSqS2yioQ.html
Hey, sorry, dass ich jetzt erst antworte! Ich war die letzten Tage ziemlich mit mir selbst beschäftigt; das Video, das eine entsprechende Erklärung liefert, lädt gerade hoch... :D Dank Dir auf jeden Fall :) Gab inzwischen auch ein paar weitere Schritte, und es fühlt sich an, als wären die in die richtige Richtung gegangen. Es geht voran, mal langsamer, mal schneller, aber Hauptsache ist ja, dass was passiert!
Danke :) Ja, ich bin meistens einfach froh, wenn so Tage vorbei sind. Schlaf ist tatsächlich ne nette Abwechslung von der Brüterei, die dreht sich viel zu schnell im Kreis. :P
Feiertage und Sonntage waren für mich auch immer besonders schlimm... In Amerika kann man da wenigstens mal in die Stadt zum Einkaufen gehen ;) aber hier?
+NichisStuff Furchtbar, oder? Die kommen auch immer so "überraschend", weil ich's gerade nicht gebacken bekomme, weiter als ein paar Tage zu planen, und mir dann im letzten Moment einfällt, dass ein Feiertag ist. Sonst könnte man ja was planen, oder wegfahren, oder sonstwas, aber das organisieren ist auch wieder so ne Sache...^^
As a guy who struggles with anxiety and paranoia daily, I can understand the stress that you're going through on a daily basis. The only difference is that I have no desire for suicide. I'm actually afraid to die. That's the difference and that's what causes my anxiety and paranoia. It's not just those things that keep me from committing Sepukku, but it's also the thought of others and how I would feel if I were to let these things get to me. Suicide never crosses my mind because I feel like that makes me weak to think that way and I know I'm stronger than that. I've always thought that suicide is pointless. I want my life to mean something, so I do what I can to make my life worthwhile and meaningful. I find meaning in the people I talk to, the things that I do, the Earth that I walk on. I like looking at the sky. I like breathing the air. I like watching people walking down the street or sitting in a restaurant and seeing people acting like people. It's so interesting when you take a step back and look at things from a different perspective. Just think about all of the cool things that you can do for people. Everyone can find meaning and purpose in their life if they just take a step back and look at what they have going for them. Suicide is never an answer. Think about all the lives that you've changed just by being there around those people. Making friends with someone left a big impact on them and their attitudes. I always come to a thought of "if I died the next day".When I think about the thought of dying, I always think, "Well, what did I do to better anyone else or better mankind in any way?" If I think that I haven't done anything, that gives me motivation to get off my ass and do what I want to see done. For the betterment of mankind or even the betterment of one person. I have hopes and dreams to do big things. I just don't know when. Try to focus your negative energy on something positive. I see that you already workout. That's good. You also need something to calm you. Maybe take a painting course. Just remember, there's always something to live for. Hopefully, you don't view this comment negatively and I hope I didn't misinterpret something in your videos. As one guy who understands the constant struggle, I just had to write this.
Beautifully said, thank you so much for your comment! These days, I absolutely agree. There's this quote that suicide is a final solution for a temporary problem. And that's all depression is: a temporary problem. You live through it, you learn from it. Every descent follows an ascent. And once you've understood that, it gets easier. None of this is helpful to people who go through a life-threatening episode for the first time. The darkness feels overwhelming, and it's such a strange and new sensation, it feels overpowering. But I want everyone to know -- and hear me -- when I say that there's a better life waiting, once you make it through the tunnel. Also, I'm super sorry it took me four years to respond to your thoughtful comment! I couldn't continue vlogging once I got to the clinic. I've been meaning to get back at it ever since I left the clinic, but there was still a lot going on. I'll probably explain more fully in a video soon. For know, just know that I'm well, and there's new content coming soon :) Probably by the end of the weekend or early next week already!
